Do you ever get to the point where you don't feel self-conscious

[Dmmetler]

About being out during the school day with a school-aged, homeschooled child?

 

We're on a very relaxed schedule right now, because of all the special stuff going on (close to a break, but we're still doing a little math, reading, and copywork daily) and were in the grocery store today, doing the shopping I put off all weekend because the stores were too crowded. I realized that I felt super self-conscious, like a teenager cutting class-and I was very aware that the only other kids were tiny, and my DD, while small for her age, is pretty obviously NOT a preschooler.

 

Is this something that will get better with time?

[Dolphin]

I will be watching this. We are in year 2 and I love Christmas break and summer as I am not getting strange looks and comments.

[SailorMom]

We're on year 8 of homeschooling.... haven't thought about it in years.

Really - after about 2 or 3 years, it just isn't an issue.

[Snickerdoodle]

It honestly never crossed my mind.

 

Sometimes people ask my son if he has school that day and he just says no.

 

We walked by the van picking up truant kids the other day and they didn't even bat an eye at us.

[AK_Mom4]

Yes. DD10 is out and about with me often during regular school hours. But there are plenty of homeschoolers and alternate-schedule-schoolers here, so she isn't the only kiddo out during the day.

[elegantlion]

I love going grocery shopping with ds at that age. We'd go after school. If ever asked, I'd just say we homeschool and we're done. At that age, it was mostly the cashier or an older person. Also with one, it's not as obvious since you take kids out for appointments and such.

 

I also never felt like I owed anyone an explanation beyond the comment. It really was none of their business.

 

It never bothered me. When he got older we would go out for lunch once a month after 4H. It was almost a contest to see how many stares we would get. People in that town (different town) didn't ask, they judged from afar.:tongue_smilie:

 

We don't get to go out as much now, school just takes longer and we start later. Enjoy these times, they really were precious.

[JudoMom]

I don't feel self-conscious at all where I live. Homeschooling and having more than 1 or 2 kids is common. When I visit my parents, who live where you do, I feel self-conscious--about homeschool and having 5 children.

[QuirkyKapers]

I don't think about it when I am out. We live in an area where there are many different school districts and they all have different days the kids are out. What I worry about more is not having my kids walk the dog around the block or ride bikes etc until school is out. It most likely wouldn't be a problem, but I wouldn't want someone to call. Our house has woods behind it and they can play or walk the dog there.

[Julie Smith]

The only time it can bother me is when the kids are playing in the front yard when a school walks by OR when they aren't dressed for the weather.

 

We live on the main sidewalk to a school and sometimes several classes and teachers will walk past our house on the way to the rec center to go swimming.

 

It doesn't help that right now the weather is getting colder and my kids favorite game is to not dress up for the weather and bring out blankets and built blanket forts well pretending they are trying to survive the cold of a long winter. In there own words, "If we were dressed warm we wouldn't feel cold and have to bundle up in blankets, and then it wouldn't be a long winter".

 

Other then that I don't care. What is strange is that several older adults are just starting to notice that my eldest is of school age. He is in grade two and big for his age. Several people we see regularly are just now noticing that he isn't kindergarden size. :confused:

[cbollin]

this is so weird..... but yesterday was the first time in years that I felt weird being out in public during regular school hours. I live in the same metro area as the original poster too.

We had just come from orthodontist appts. and went to lunch at a fast food place.

I was so glad when another teen and parent walked in. The teen was wearing school uniform of private school around here. The feeling didn't go away when we went to the grocery store either and most of the grocery store people know us by now!

 

it hasn't bothered me for years. Yesterday, I felt like I needed to have my teacher id and homeschooling proof on me.

 

must have been something in the air in memphis.....

:grouphug:

 

-crystal

[Carrie12345]

I've never felt self-conscious about it. We don't actually go out during school hours very often. When we do, I kinda want people to say something so we get the chance to be spokespeople, lol. But that rarely happens.

[ThisIsTheDay]

We're on year 8 of homeschooling.... haven't thought about it in years.

Really - after about 2 or 3 years, it just isn't an issue.

 

:iagree: I was going to say, yes, it gets better with time. At one point, encouraged here several years ago, I told someone that my kids went to a small, private school, and they had the day off. I only had to say that once, but for some reason, it was hugely freeing to me. It never crosses my mind anymore.

 

The only time I think about it is if ds and I are playing Mario Cart wi-fi online with others. I wonder, WHY isn't that other U.S. kid in school? lol

[Daisy]

Yes, you move beyond it or at least I did. The first two years were the hardest. Now I rarely think about it.

 

I think the turning point for me was when we were talking at Starbucks and a police officer came over. He casually asked the kids if school was out. They replied that we homeschool and that they'd brought their math with them to Starbucks. He got a big smile on his face and said, "Lucky kids," and then gave my son a badge sticker.

 

Kinda takes the fear out of it.

[Lady Florida.]

I don't think I ever felt self-conscious about it. When ds was younger and we hadn't made any homeschool friends yet, I did notice other school age children when we were out. I would look at them and wonder if they were homeschooled too.

[Pretty in Pink]

I got over it a while ago. This is our 9th year of HSing. There is no reason to feel self-conscious. We are not breaking any laws. Nothing will be done to me for taking my children out during the day.

[G5052]

I take mine everywhere. They went to the gym with me this morning and sat in the lobby and did their schoolwork, and then they watched the news for a few minutes at the bank while I deposited multiple checks into multiple accounts. The gym is used to seeing them, and the teller made a comment about how dedicated I must be to be homeschooling teens.

 

If there's ever a question, I have paperwork proving that all is in order!

[cdrumm4448]

Yes, you get over it. I was at the gas station yesterday with DD and the nice older lady behind the counter asked,"And do you go to school?" I said, "Yes, technically she does go to school. It just happens to be in our home!" with a big smile. She smiled back and that was it. Although the teenage boy stocking cigarettes actually stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at us when I said that. I waved and we skipped out the door!

[Penelope]

I don't feel weird about it.

 

I think HSLDA says, or used to say, that you should keep the kids home during school hours to avoid problems. But I think the days of having to be concerned about that are gone and from an older era. I've also heard the argument that we shouldn't have our kids out because people then think we are slackers and not educating. I always figured it was no one's business when we took a morning or afternoon or week off.

[Belacqua]

The playing in the yard thing was the last thing I had to get over. Thankfully I have a gossipy neighbor who tells everyone in the neighbor about everyone's business. So I imagine most of my neighbors know we homeschool. :D

 

Now, that is looking on the bright side! :)

 

We live in a wonderfully hippie-dippie, alternative-ed area, so I've never had cause to be self-conscious. I do sometimes notice when we travel, though, that people are often curious. We get more questions (usually perfectly pleasant ones, thankfully) in a week visiting Grandma than we do in a year around our town.

[ereks mom]

I've never felt self-conscious about it. We don't actually go out during school hours very often. When we do, I kinda want people to say something so we get the chance to be spokespeople, lol. But that rarely happens.

 

:iagree:

[5kidsforME]

I have never felt self conscious about it.

[mama2cntrykids]

This is our 4th year homeschooling and it really doesn't phase me anymore. We moved to a new area a year and a half ago and I was self-conscious about it then. Only because we moved to a much smaller community and we're only 1 of 3 families in the town that homeschool. So, people would see us out and about and give curious looks, but I really don't notice anymore.

[cjbeach]

Not self-conscious but tired of explaining sooooooo, we routinely just say "dentist appointment." :blink: Neighbors know though.

[nukeswife]

I've never worried about it or felt self conscious about it, but then again I'm one that thinks people should mind their own business when out and will tell them as much if they say something rude to us about being out. If they ask just out of making conversation (like the bank teller, cashier, etc) I'm fine with it and the kids usually pipe in with "we're homeschooled"

[KS_]

I've never felt self-conscious about it really, and I typically try to do my grocery shopping and errands in the mornings when the stores are less busy. Occasionally, the cashier or someone will ask if the kids don't have school that day, but not that often.

[happypamama]

I'm a little more self-conscious about letting the kids play outside at our house during the school day, especially if I'm inside, than I am about actually taking them somewhere during the day. But I really don't worry about it much at all. We have a fair number of homeschoolers around here, and it's generally a MYOB sort of place. We go to the grocery store, library, eye doctor, etc., and I don't even think about it.

 

I do feel pressure, otoh, to make sure the children are especially well-behaved when we go places, because they're conspicuously homeschoolers, and I want homeschoolers to be represented well.

[justasque]

Homeschooling is clearly legal in my state. In addition, there are many public, private, and parochial schools in the area, all of which have different schedules. My parents took me out of school now and again for educational experiences and family trips, as well as doctor/dentist/ortho appointments. It has never occurred to me to feel self-conscious about being out and about at any particular time of day. Anyone who casually asks about it is just making conversation, and I reply with that in mind. The details are no one else's business, and I have no reason to feel that I'm doing anything inappropriate.

 

So yes, it should get better for you with time.

[Joanne]

I never felt that way in AZ or TX.

[In The Great White North]

I don't think about it at all.

[Mommyof4ks]

I don't feel that way now, but I do remember that feeling. After 7 years and 3 kids, I don't even think about it. People ask, but they are general positive and are genuinely interested. We live in an area where it is common and accepted by most people.

[MtnTeaching]

It has been years since I have given it a second thought.

 

Personally, I love the "socialization" my kids get by interacting with people in our community or as we are traveling. They have no qualms about starting a conversation with anyone from preschool age to Congressmen.

 

Usually, if someone does ask about us being out and about, it seems to be out of curiosity. The kids always respond by saying they are homeschooled. As another poster stated, I also feel that it gives the kids opportunities to be "ambassadors" for homeschooling.

 

I am not ashamed of or afraid of showing my kids that there is a great big world out there beyond the four walls of a public/private school classroom. Since I have made that decision, why should I keep them within the four walls of our home all day long? Why should any of us feel intimidated by a few raised eyebrows and a few curious questions?

[Lisbeth]

I honestly never think about it. I have stopped thinking about when school hrs are!

[Jennifer in MI]

Around here there are so many private schools and the cities are close to each other. So, I think people assume, when we're out, that my kids go to a different school than theirs do.

 

So, I've never felt funny about it.

[SkateLeft]

About being out during the school day with a school-aged, homeschooled child?

 

I'm not self-conscious at all about being out and about with my kids, even my teens, but we've been homeschooling for 11 years. I forget when I stopped worrying about what people thought. It hasn't crossed my mind in a very long time.

 

Maybe self-consciousness depends partly on where you live. Here in MN (and where we lived in CA before moving here two years ago), homeschooling is common enough that it doesn't really matter if my kids aren't in school during the day. Nobody seems to think it's weird. People still occasionally ask if my kids have the day off, but most people just assume they're homeschooled.

 

People have better things to do than worry about why my kids aren't in school. :D

[AHASRADA]

I never used to think about it back home. People are very "live and let live" and open to homeschooling. A cashier once asked "Is there no school today...oh wait...homeschoolers, right?" I've had older people on the street, former teachers and counselors, tell me what wonderful thing I am doing by homeschooling my kids, and we have rather good schools.

 

Once we moved (to a homeschool-intolerant area), though, that all changed. I would not let me kids out of the house until our HSLDA membership went through. I still don't let them out around the neighborhood during school hours. For a while, we went for walks during lunch, but I was afraid the maillady would start to question seeing us out every day.

 

I still honestly don't think about it when I am out and about (away from the neighborhood), until someone, like a cashier, asks, and I get flustered and mumble something about yes, we're heading to school now.

 

However, this is based on a rational fear. Anyone who could find out our address could report us, which would open up a whole can of bureaucratic worms that could forever change our homeschool experience.

 

Without this real threat, I don't ever give it a 2nd thought.

[BigMamaBird]

I've never felt self-conscious about it. I'm doing something that's perfectly legal, nothing to be worried about. If people have a problem with homeschoolers that's their hang-up, not mine.

[Sahamamama]

This used to bother me more when the girls were even younger than they are now (nearly 5 [twins] and nearly 7). When my oldest "should have been" ;) in Kindergarten, there was an adjustment in some ways. For example, we didn't qualify for Mom's Morning Out or Mothers of Preschooler (MOPS) anymore. But that's not a big loss for any of us.

 

I feel very comfortable going out with all of them now, any time of day, any day of the week, to do whatever we do. Not self-conscious at all. We homeschool. :001_smile:

 

I'm okay with that.

[Julie in CA]

I've been doing this for a long time now, and I can safely say it's never crossed my mind. :001_smile:

 

I think you can put that thought away now. :grouphug:

[EKS]

I don't even notice anymore when I'm out at odd times with my kids. It's been that way for several years and this is my 9th year of homeschooling.

[PeacefulChaos]

I've actually not felt like that as of yet. It may be because homeschooling isn't that incredibly rare where we live?

[1GirlTwinBoys]

It doesn't bother me at all. My 3 are out with me often during the day. I'm just not concerned with what others think about it. :)

[LauraGB]

Haven't noticed in years. I did when they were younger, but I would say right around that 4-5 year mark, either not many people said anything, or my kids and I stopped noticing the questions and interested looks.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I admit it, when asked by a cashier if my kids are off school, I've always wanted to reply:

 

"I KNEW WE FORGOT SOMETHING!!!!!"

 

But I've never been that brave, and my kids would be mortified.

[8circles]

Never think about it.

[*Lulu*]

I used to feel more self-conscious, but I think it had more to do with being out in public with multiple young children.

 

The kids are a touch older, I've got 5 years under my belt, and it doesn't seem as scary as it did back then.

[Myeightkiddies]

It doesn't bother me. I think that I quit feeling self-conscious after a year or two.

[Lucy the Valiant]

I've never thought about it much, but this year for the first time, we are getting TONS of questions (nothing bad, just - true curiosity).

 

We're still working out a standard answer - I have 3 school-age kids + a toddler.

 

Like someone else mentioned, I don't really care what people think, but I do want home schooled kids to be represented well, so I want them to be friendly.

[Maus]

I'm kind of in an in between stage: I was very conscious of being out with them during the day during the first two years.

 

This year, I haven't thought about it much, but I still have those moments when I realize someone is looking at us and it suddenly dawns on me that the PS kids aren't out for the day yet.

 

It no longer makes me nervous, though.

[Celia]

I've never been bothered. My son just tells people he doesn't go to school, and I let them think what they will if he doesn't choose to expand on it.

[Hikin' Mama]

but I am still self conscious when we do happen to be out. For instance, on Monday my daughter needed a wire on her braces fixed, so we had to go to the orthodontist. While out, we stopped at the grocery store for a couple items. My main concern is affirming those naysayers who think homeschooled students are way behind/don't do anything all day/etc., etc. So yes, after 14 years of homeschooling, it still bothers me.