If in your family one adult works so the other can homeschool...(more info in post)

[scrappyhappymama]

If, in your family, only one adult works so that the other can stay home and homeschool:

 

(Poll question)

How many hours per day, on average, does the working adult spend outside the home, including working hours, overtime, commute, and additional work (like part time jobs or contract work)?

 

(Discussion questions) If the working adult has to spend many hours outside the home and away from the family, do you find this to be an acceptable tradeoff so that the other parent can be home with the children and homeschool? At what point would you consider it to be an unacceptable sacrifice? What accommodations would you/have you made in your families to be able to homeschool, and how do you strike a balance that allows both adults to parent the children effectively?

[Tangerine]

My DH is generally up at 3:30 am (he works for Starbucks), and gets home after grad school about 9 pm. He usually has at least one full day at home, and one day with no work, but he still has school.

 

He was in the military working as a weather forecaster before this. Those hours seemed to be even worse. Between the military, undergrad, and grad school, it has been this way since 2004.

 

Right now, it is a trade off. We are working toward his ability to have more time at home. If these were his hours with no end in sight, that would not be acceptable to me. I'm holding on for a 9-5 job. Or something comparable. The goal is to plow through this and have more time as a couple and a family on the other side.

[Mejane]

My dh is either gone a full day (12-14 hours) or overnight, or he's here working in his office. Sometimes I feel parenting falls too heavily on me, but as far as schooling? Honestly, we get more done when he's away. He's a huge distraction.

 

ETA: I voted "other."

Edited March 9, 2011 by Mejane

[lionfamily1999]

If, in your family, only one adult works so that the other can stay home and homeschool:

 

(Poll question)

How many hours per day, on average, does the working adult spend outside the home, including working hours, overtime, commute, and additional work (like part time jobs or contract work)?

Dh is gone 10 to 12 hours depending on the season :lol: I answered 10-11.

(Discussion questions) If the working adult has to spend many hours outside the home and away from the family, do you find this to be an acceptable tradeoff so that the other parent can be home with the children and homeschool? At what point would you consider it to be an unacceptable sacrifice? What accommodations would you/have you made in your families to be able to homeschool, and how do you strike a balance that allows both adults to parent the children effectively?

We always have, iow we did this before we started hsing. When his commute was longer and we were looking at 13-15 hours things got a bit messy between us. Now, it's not worth it (for us) for him to have a long commute, even with more money and benefits. We take the pay cut and more time together.

 

Dh takes over subjects that make me want to pull my hair out. When we have a bad day the dc are waiting for him to get home and teach them. On the weekends he likes to teach the kids simple mechanics. Really, it seems so normal for him to be gone most of the day that we don't really feel like we're accomodating anything.

[elegantlion]

In our normal world, 8-9. Things are seldom normal. Dh is a self-employed carpenter and he has been without a lot of work for almost a year. Most of his current jobs are taking him out of town for at least a week or more. But when he's working closer to home he is usually home by 6 or 7 and leaves about 8.

[Kathleen in VA]

My dh works full-time as a letter carrier and then cleans doctors' offices at night. He often works overtime at the po so that pushes the cleaning job later which brings him home later. Both jobs are in a city about 45 minutes from home so if he has time to kill between jobs, he stays up there instead of coming home and driving back up.

 

Because his days off at the po are usually during the week (he has a rotating day off) he sees the kids one day a week and often takes them cleaning with him on that day(they love it - it usually means a treat like a milkshake at McDonald's or something). If they went to private or public school, they'd rarely see him (he gets a Sat. off every six weeks).

 

I've never felt this was a great situation, but it is the only way we can afford to do it. I work part-time at home as well. Our region of the country has a high cost of living and there isn't any way for us to move to another part of the country so we're pretty much stuck with the way things are and the way things are stinks.:D

 

I am thankful that they get to see him one day a week and Sundays.

 

ETA: Just wanted to say I voted 14+

[AnnaM]

I answered up to 10 but on rare occassions he gets OT that can mean working much longer hours.

 

This isnt specifically so that we can homeschool, but our family holds the Biblical understanding that it is the Husband/Father's job to provide and the Mother's/wife to do the main part of child rearing. That is not to say that he doesn't parent when he is home, we have just divided two things that have to be done. I guess I don't really see it as a trade off. I see it as us accomplishing two things that have to be accomplished, an equal division of labor. If our circumstances dictated that I needed to work for us to live, I definitely would. It would take quite a bit for us to feel that was neccessary though since it would mean me having to pass off my children onto someone else while I worked.

 

but as far as schooling? Honestly, we get more done when he's away. He's a huge distraction.

:iagree:

[myfunnybunch]

I voted Other.

 

My dh telecommutes. His "commute" is the walk through the garage to get to the home office. He does stay out in the office during most working hours, but he's available for quick check-ins and helps to run errands and pick up/drop off kids.

 

He does leave the house occasionally! Just not for work.

 

We're very lucky.

 

ETA: One trade-off for this is that his boss knows he's able to get to the office in the evenings, so he's usually the one scheduled to work with programmers in India, or called in the evening if there's some kind of crisis. So he often works in the evenings after the kids go to bed. But we know this small bit goes hand-in-hand with this work-at-home life, so we aren't complaining a bit. (Ok, maybe I complain a little sometimes. ;) )

 

Cat

Edited March 9, 2011 by myfunnybunch

[4Hisglory]

It's 10-11 for my dh. He likes to get to work early or it could have been 9-10.

My husband would be working these hours whether I stayed home or not.

I'm just glad he likes his job and I look forward to seeing him in the evening although they are always too short.

[jenL]

I voted 11-12. Dh is usually out of the house by 7, and he comes home between 6 & 7 at night. His commute is 60-75 minutes each way. He is far more comfortable with me being home with the kids, than having to juggle two work schedules. We did this when our eldest was younger, and it was so stressful for him to have to leave work if our son was sick if I was unable to leave my job. For him, he'd rather sacrifice the income in order to have the mental security that he can go to work, do his thing, and then come home. Adding homeschooling to me being a SAHM just extended my job for more years. He's perfectly happy with how things are going. I'm content too.

[cjbeach]

My dh owns his own business and generally works a 10-12 hour IN the office but then I'd say another 2 hours at home (computer and phone work) + weekends. Prior to his own biz taking off he was working a LOT, always has though in order for me to stay home.

[redsquirrel]

My husband works 40 hours a week at a job he likes and would have if I homeschooled or not. He often thanks me for staying home with the kids because he has been able to take advantage of some things due to no childcare issues. He can volunteer to take on a project or stay late and it's not a problem. He volunteered to go to africa for a week this summer, when no one else in his office wanted to go. he knew it wasn't a problem. If both of us had paying jobs, that would have been difficult to swing.

 

We don't see us making any real sacrifice on this front. He is also in two bands and has rehersals etc. It is a bigger discussion between us that I get out of the house every now and then, lol. He is always trying to shoo me off.

[Ellie]

Mr. Ellie would have worked whether we homeschooled or not. The hours he worked are the hours he worked; "acceptable" never entered into it.

 

That we did homeschool was irrelevant. Since we were not independently wealthy, someone had to work. It isn't possible to make a liveable income on less than 40 hours a week. We never questioned it. It was what it was.

[Maeintx]

obligatory other

 

He commutes +6 hours once a week so we can stay where we are, which includes home school. He's gone greater than 50% of the time. He'd still be gone but we'd gain 2 days a month to move. There are other factors as well for older boys in public jr/high school.

 

But, he wants it this way and so we make it work.

[Renthead Mommy]

I put 10-11. My husband is a very early riser. He's supposed to be at work from 8-4. he's usually there around 6:30. He sometimes makes it home at 4. Usually it's more like 5:30. This tour is a residency, so there is a lot of reading to do and it's easier at work. But other jobs he's always gotten up early, gone to PT and just gotten in early to read journals/articles/texts/whatever, and do paperwork.

 

He just gets up early and feels like the work world starts a few hours too late! This would not change if we homeschool or not, he was married or single, or if I worked or not. However one of the big "other" reasons I won't get a job is because I currently do 90% of things around the house. I'm okay with that, but if I went to work it wouldn't suddenly split into 50-50, it may go down to 80-85%, but he'd still work those hours.

[Sherry in OH]

Monday through Friday, DH is gone from 7-ish am until at least 6 pm. Some nights later.

 

The trade-off for us has not been his schedule. That would stay the same even if we were not homeschooling. The trade-off is doing without the extra income I could bring in. (Assuming there was any left after daycare and after-school care.) We try to plan one dad activity and at least one family activity per month. These activities may be as simple as a Lowe's or Home Depot kid workshop. DH plays games with the children (something I am too tired to do at the end of the day). He also helps with science experiments.

[5Wizards]

My DH is gone about 9 hours on a "normal" day. However, he often has to work extra hours, although most of the time he can work those from home. He has arranged to not start work until after lunch, so he is able to spend time with the kids in the morning hours (except when he's called and needs to work earlier). Since our first was born, there was only one period of about 1-2 years where he worked a traditional 9-5 schedule (plus tons of OT), and that would not work for our family long-term as the kids didn't get to see him much during that time. We have made a number of career decisions for him based upon our desire for him to be able to spend time with the family. He probably could have advanced much more than he has if we had been willing to sacrifice more of our family time, but the trade-off was just too high for us. It's a balancing act. :001_smile:

[shinyhappypeople]

I voted "10-11" He's gone by 6:00 a.m. and home by 4:30 p.m., M-F, weekends off. Commutes about 45 min. ea way. Homeschooling falls squarely on my shoulders, but I don't mind. He's open to pitching in with the HS'ing whenever I need help.

 

He also works at a p/t job during the evenings about 1 week a month.

 

I love his current job with it's cushy work schedule. He used to work for the railroad and that job STUNK. There's a reason its initials stand for both the company name and "Better Not Start a Family."

 

I count myself blessed with our current situation. We've been to job hell and hope to never, ever return ever again.

[KidsHappen]

My hubby is a road warrior so he is gone 4-5 days a week. It works for us now but it was much harder when the kids were little. Luckily, I had my mother then and she helped carry at least half the burden. I don't really look at it like a trade off, more like we do what we have to do.

[tabrizia]

I voted other, but DH would be working where he is now if we homeschooled or not, in fact we won't start homeschooling till fall 2012 officially as is. He leave for work around 6:30am and gets home around 5pm most of the time, with some days that shifting slightly, but he is gone for about 11 hours a day. A lot of that is due to where we live and his commute though, his office is an hour from our house. He works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. He also is normally home once a week or so telecommuting so on those days he is home all day.

 

DH rarely has to work extra hours and the times he does he can normally do that piece from home, though there have been a very few times when he had to stay late, probably no more then twice a year though.

[Murphy101]

Most of the time my dh works a 9 hour day, but end of project deadlines or travel means the actual average is probably in the 10-12 range.

 

He has worked a second part time job when necessary in the past too.

 

We don't look at it as a trade off. He can bring in more than I can and home schooling is not a negotiable option in our home.

 

Usually if he needs a pt job it is bc we have taken on a large needed debt, such as a major medical or housing or car repair that cannot not be done. He isn't working extra because of home schooling.

[newbie]

Hmmm, so 16 hrs is not normal.

[sewingmama]

My DH works the hours he would even if I was not homeschooling. He's a PS teacher - a regular working day means he heads out at 8 and comes home around 4.30. However he works at a private school so is involved in a lot of extras - depending what he has going he gets home around 5.30-6 and sometimes later.

 

His work is 10 minutes from the house -so no commute time.

 

However DH is heavily involved in leadership positions with our church (LDS) so he often comes home from work and then goes out half an hour later and doesn't get home till around 9. He is always gone all day Sunday but is home usually all day Saturday.

 

My kids see him plenty - and I see him enough for me - so it works fine.

[waa510]

Dh works 40 hrs a week (sometimes more unpaid)..but, for instance, he has been home all day for the past few days because he is heading to TX for a 5-day business trip and will be making up those hours working thru the weekend. He has a great deal of flexibility with his job, as his boss only cares if he has put those 40 hrs in and doesn't care when or how that happens. Sometimes he has to be in the office due to a meeting, or corresponding with co-workers on a current project but overall, the way his job is set up allows us to really get in that extra family time. He also gets all the holidays off, like Veteran's Day or Washington's birthday. His vacation time can be taken almost anytime as long as big trips or meetings aren't during that time. It's a fantastic breath of fresh air compared to how often we barely saw him when we were military.

 

I forgot to mention that Dh goes in to work a bit earlier in the day so that he can come home earlier to have more time to interact with the kids before bedtime. :D If we were to move, I truly think we'd have to stay with his company in the new location because of its strong views towards making sure the employees have adequate time for their families. I really love living here though, so it would take a lot for me to leave the area.

[DawnM]

Non-busy season......he leaves at 6am and gets home at 5pm, so 11 hours

Busy season.....he leaves at 6pm and gets home after 8pm, so 14 or more hours

[delaney]

DH commutes to DC so he leaves at 4:30 and comes home by usually 5. He does work from home 2-3 days per week to save on gas and parking. He does work long hours but he is a partner and that is expected. He pretty much works 7 days per week but he makes a lot of money. Nothing I could do would really contribute after paying for childcare. His attitude is "Stay home, run the house, let me do my job to bring home the bacon." Okay I say!:)

[....]

(Discussion questions) If the working adult has to spend many hours outside the home and away from the family, do you find this to be an acceptable tradeoff so that the other parent can be home with the children and homeschool? At what point would you consider it to be an unacceptable sacrifice? What accommodations would you/have you made in your families to be able to homeschool, and how do you strike a balance that allows both adults to parent the children effectively?

 

 

My husband leaves for work around 5am. He returns anywhere from 7pm to 9pm. He works 7 days a week, but on the weekends, he leaves work at 3:30.

 

If I worked (actually, when I worked), my husband could not work those kinds of hours because of childcare issues/scheduling. Once I stopped working, his career took a huge leap. It sounds horrible, but this was our experience. My husband makes in a month what we used to make in 6 months (when I worked too). :(

 

Balance between parenting? Heck, no. I'm the Lone Ranger. My husband sees the kids in the evenings on the weekends and sometimes for a few minutes after he gets off work during the week. He also takes business trips, so we don't see him for over a week.

 

What can you do? Either you have a lot of family time and stress over bills/trying to take care of your family...or you have a really well-paying career and never see your spouse/kids. It's a disgustingly nasty dilemna for people these days. Our parents/grandparents didn't work 24 hours a day and never see their families. :glare:

 

Alright, I'm done complaining.

[Jennifer3141]

DH usually gets out of the house between 5:00 and 6:00 and it's common for him to not come home until bedtime, so 9:00 or later. He is working 12-16 day stretches right now and then he takes 3 days off. He also takes Q3 call, so every third night he could disappear.

 

He would be working this whether or not we were homeschooling but homeschooling has meant he has some relationship with our kids, even if it occurs at odd hours of the night.

[AmyinMD]

My dh is gone around 12 hours a day but it would be the same if we didn't homeschool. I did work when our oldest was a baby and she seemed to constantly get sick at daycare. We decided if we were going to have more kids then I would stay home. I didn't know then I would homeschool.

 

If my older 4 all went to school I would only have around 6.5 hours when they were all gone. My 3 yo is gone at Pre-K from 12:45-4:00 so I'd have to find a provider to take him to that and full time care for my 4 yo. Not to mention finding care for summer vacation and all of the other days school is out. I think we'd have to get a nanny for me to work which really wouldn't make it worthwhile. I did use to work part time when money was tighter however dh hated it. It was stressful to him to rush home to watch the kids. He has a very demanding job now and needs the flexibility to stay late. He frequently does extra work at home on the weekends. He is a manager and pretty much on call all the time. If something breaks in his lab he has gone in the middle of the night to fix it.

[Violet Crown]

We are so fortunate: dh's commute is a quick bike ride, and his job lets him do lots of his work at home. He often just gets up early in the morning to work, then send the work on to his office to continue. Frankly he could be home a lot more than he is, but then I'd never get the girls to lift a pencil. He goes in to his office even when classes are out, so he can work and the children can learn. 8-9 hours, except if he has an evening seminar.

[Georgiana Daniels]

My husband works about 11-13 in the winter and 12-14 in the summer--sometimes 6 days a week. He's a champ!

 

If we weren't homeschooling, we'd probably have me working but I just can't see throwing my kidlets to the wolves. (OK, probably an exaggeration for public school, but still.)

[Wheres Toto]

I put 10-11 but it does vary some. DH is a VP at a lab. He's home by 5 almost every night but goes in at 6:30 due to personal preference. He does have to travel 4 or 5 times a year for a week to 10 days at a time, mostly to India or China, sometimes to Europe.

 

Before having him get a second job where he'd be away from home more (he does occasionally do consulting he can do from home), I would get a part time job. I have free babysitting available now which makes it worthwhile if we just need a little extra income temporarily.

[Joker]

We're lucky. Dh leaves at 7:30am and gets home at 5pm. He's done this for the past 11 years. It's nice since before that he was in the Marines and his hours and time home were much different.

[sibbis]

This is one of the biggest sacrifices we make for home school and honestly it does make me sad. My husband gets to see the kids for 1 to 2 hours in the evening and on weekends. It's tough. He's a great guy and really connects with them in the time that he does have but it does make me sad.

[Peela]

We are very lucky but dh has work that he absolutely loves, some of which is at home and some just down the road. He is away from home only about 3-4 hours a day at the most and some days he works downstairs another 3-4 hours.

 

We have been struggling lately because we have had no tenant in one of our 2 investment properties for 3 months now. That has really put us under stress but we haven't had to do anything drastic.

 

Dh is very entrepreneurial, and used to be very wealthy (before I came along!). He left it all for doing work that was meaningful for him. The money seems to just come in, enough to live well, pay the bills etc, but we are not wealthy by any means. We rent because its too expensive to buy in the city, for us.

 

I guess it did have a lot to do with me homeschooling- I was working part time before I started homeschooling and dh encouraged me to quit to homeschool full time.

We are just not in a survival situation as many others seem to be, at this point, so its hard to know what we would have done if we were, and still homeschooling. I really feel for families where money is so tight and fathers are working so many hours just to keep the boat afloat. I think we would downsize a lot before that happened here. Quitting homeschooling would have been a last resort.

[Mom0012]

My husband often works very long hours, though he is able to work from home much of the time. Even though he is home, he is working, so he is unavailable. I'd almost rather him go to the office to be honest.

 

Overall, though, I don't see it as a sacrifice for homeschooling. His job is what it is and he likes it. Nothing would change if I were to start working except that we'd both be out of the home (and we'd have more money, of course). What I mean is, my working wouldn't cut down on his work hours.

 

Lisa

[secular_mom]

We are a one income family- I don't work so that I can be at home with the kids but DH doesn't work SO that I can stay home with the kids- he just does his job because that's his job and if I want to get a job that's up to me. DH is in the Navy, so I can't really estimate how many hours per day he is away from home- sometimes he's home around 4:30, sometimes he's not home till 8 and that is his shore duty job. When he's on sea-duty then it's much more typical for him to come home VERY late and work weekends/holidays, sometimes he has even worked more than 24 hours straight to repair an aircraft. Then of course there are the 1+ week workups and the 6+ months deployments. At home the phone rings at all hours because people have to report to him whenever ANYthing happens and then he is on the phone with various people until the issue has been resolved or there is a plan in place for resolving it.

I voted other.

[LMD]

We have it very good. I voted 9-10. DH leaves a little after 6am and is usually home a little after 4pm everyday. He's gone before the kids wake up but has plenty of time with them when he gets home. Over-time is available if we're struggling financially.

 

Drawback - hates his job :(

[MamaAkins]

My husband works 3 jobs + tutors on the side. He's a ps teacher, teaches an SAT prep class at a tutoring center (4-16 hours per week, depending on how busy they are), cleans office buildings (with me) 2 nights per week (12 hours per week), and does private tutoring 1 hour per week. His shortest day (Tuesdays), he's gone from 6:15 am until 5:30pm....because he's a cub scout leader and has to get home in time to pick ds up and take him with him to church. His longest day is Wednesday--he leaves at 6:15am, goes straight to his SAT job after school, gets out of there at 8:15pm, grabs dinner and heads to clean office buildings with me...we get home between midnight and 1am. He works half days on Saturdays, but is home all day on Sunday.

 

For us, it's just the way things are. In addition to homeschooling, I also provide in-home daycare full-time for another family and clean office buildings two times per week.

[Amy loves Bud]

Bud has his own business and works from home, so no commute, etc. I listed less than 8, so obviously we've got a pretty sweet set up.

 

There was a time he left home on Monday and came home on Friday. It was awful. We knew at the time it was temporary, and temporary would be the only way I would do that again. For schooling or transitioning to a new job in a new location while waiting for the family to move. If that sort of arrangement was permanent, we would look at alternatives that included me working some so that he could have time with the kids.

 

As the daughter and sister of military men, I know that there are situations where it's unavoidable and I appreciate what those families do. It makes me all the more adamant that DH have time with the kids as long as I am able to make that happen - simply because we are blessed to be able to do that. I don't want to take it for granted.

[rafiki]

.

[CalicoKat]

I said 10-11 hours, but that's only at the office hours. He's home for dinner most nights by 5:30 p.m. and then back in his home office from 7 p.m. til the wee hours of the a.m. AND he's on-call 24/7.

 

It sucks. But it will soon be over. Last day is fast approaching.

[NancyNellen]

<Regularly more than a day at a time>

 

My hubby works up in San Francisco 3-4 days a week and is then home for 3-4 days. It is actually a much better set-up than his previous job which included 3-4 commuting hours per day (gotta love L.A. traffic!) We just really focus on school and outside activities while he is gone and then relax and enjoy lots of family time while he is home. I really appreciate my hubby's willingness to do this which allows me to stay home. L.A. is a very hard place to live on one income.

[katilac]

My husband works 3 jobs + tutors on the side. He's a ps teacher, teaches an SAT prep class at a tutoring center (4-16 hours per week, depending on how busy they are), cleans office buildings (with me) 2 nights per week (12 hours per week), and does private tutoring 1 hour per week. His shortest day (Tuesdays), he's gone from 6:15 am until 5:30pm....because he's a cub scout leader and has to get home in time to pick ds up and take him with him to church. His longest day is Wednesday--he leaves at 6:15am, goes straight to his SAT job after school, gets out of there at 8:15pm, grabs dinner and heads to clean office buildings with me...we get home between midnight and 1am. He works half days on Saturdays, but is home all day on Sunday.

 

For us, it's just the way things are. In addition to homeschooling, I also provide in-home daycare full-time for another family and clean office buildings two times per week.

 

Okay, I'm tired just READING that! :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

I voted 10-11, but *sometimes* it is much more. He is military, so he can be gone for days (weeks, months) at a time. His job and hours don't really allow me to take on part of the work burden.

[speedmom4]

My husband loves his job but is gone a lot. He works for a NASCAR team. He does not work on the cars. He is on the business end of it. He travels a great deal but not usually to the race track. He is gone at least 3-4 days a week for about 36 weeks a year. We normally have one day off a week.

 

Although my husband loves his job we both look at it as the sacrifice that enables me to be able to stay home with our children. It was a luxury neither of us had growing up.

 

Even when my husband is home he checks his email and addresses any "issues" that come up. Sometimes I am very frustrated that he rarely just lets it go.

 

Blessings,

Elise in NC

[Jlynn]

My husband is military and has a job that requires lots of travel so I put the regularly gone for more than a day. Even now he happens to be on a remote for the entire year. Thanks goodness for Skpye! Its not something he wants to do much longer- obviously he feels like he's missing out on the kid's lives. In fact after this year long remote he's decided to retire at the 20 year mark rather than the 30 year, which means we have 3 more years to go. Our next assignment won't require any deployments and he'll be an instructor at a place where there isn't even a military base, so we figure it will be a nice transition to civilian life.

 

I was in the military too when I got pregnant with our first child and got out at that time. Though I've been back to school when ds was in preschool I've never seriously entertained the idea of working because we love the stability of having one "regular" parent around and I happen to be the one who wants to stay home.

Edited March 10, 2011 by Jlynn
spelling

[Renee in NC]

Haven't read the thread yet, so this answer is based only on the OP.

 

Dh's new job is 7-3:30, M-F. This does not provide enough income, so our options are for me to work nights or him to work a 2nd job (or even both.) Generally, we fall into the man/breadwinner, woman/caretaker roles. However, we also feel that a father's role is more than one of a paycheck. The things that my dh can bring to their lives is more important to us. Neither of us feel he can be the father he wants to be (and is) in just a few hours a week.

 

So, no, it isn't acceptable to me or dh that he work as much as possible to provide for us if that means that his influence on his children is very limited. This is what led us to originally put the dc in school - I was going to work full-time to help support the family, even though that meant putting them in school. Thankfully, dh got a VERY good job and it isn't going to be necessary and we are returning to homeschooling.

 

Right now dh is working every weekend on a side job that is likely to last until the end of May. After that, he is still likely to have side work doing other things. It may be necessary for me to get a PT job in the evenings and on weekends to help pay for things and I am not opposed to that.

 

I'd rather work a few nights a week and have dh be a presence in our dc's lives.

 

My Dad was one of those Dads who worked 12-15 hours a day. That isn't the kind of lifestyle I want for my dc at all. I know it works just fine for many families, so I don't think that anything is the "right thing" for every family.

 

ETA: Now that I have read the thread, I want to say one thing - even though my dh's job is very, very good, it is good for *him.* I imagine most people would think it was very low paying. His job doesn't really allow overtime and for PT work, I can most likely make more than he. So, in our case, his working an extra job would simply mean that I was home 24/7 and taking care of everything there. It doesn't make anything easier on me at all. If *I* work PT, then we both get time with the dc, we share the household responsibilities, and we get the extra money we need.

Edited March 10, 2011 by Renee in FL

[dirty ethel rackham]

Dh is gone from before 7 to anywhere between 5 and 6 at night. His hours are fairly normal for this area. He spends more time at work but commutes less than most. So, I think this is normal for us. I just feel very lucky that he doesn't travel much. I was very spoiled when my kids were young - dh worked from 7 - 3 so he was home by 3:30 or 4. It was great. He helped with dinner and playing with the kids. The higher he moved up, the later he had to stay because the honchos think nothing of calling a meeting at 4 or 5, just because they can. He gets in 2 hours before they do, but they whine that he leaves at 5pm. I guess the only part of his job that concerns me is the stress.

 

Dh is a pretty involved guy, so I think it would be an issue if he couldn't spend any time with his kids. But, in this economy, we are just happy he has a job that allows me to stay home. If I was working before, I would probably have spent several years on disability anyways (fatigue issues).

[Daisy]

Anywhere between 8-10 hours.

 

He usually leaves by 6:30-7 and is home by 4:00