Teachers Lounge: What Does a Retired Homeschool Mom DO??

[scrapbookbuzz]

Hello, all! I know it's been a LONG while since I've been here or had the Teachers Lounge open. Sorry about that. But between working full time and trying to graduate the last kiddo, plus a really rough Spring, the Teachers Lounge just was not at the forefront of my brain. 

And now here I am, with the FINAL Teachers Lounge, and introducing the topic of What does a Retired Homeschool Mom DO?? Well..

*you grieve a little bit. You've put so much of your heart and soul into an amazing, bumpy, astounding journey for YEARS, only to have it end on you. That may take a bit to recover from

*you learn that now it's time for some much needed and probably much over-due self care, whether that's out for coffee more often, traveling, or just being able to say, "Sorry, I can't help you" when your now-adult child asks for help with either college homework or job homework (such as studying for a license), or maybe just being able to sleep in an extra hour here and there.

*you find that you want a job that makes YOU happy. Not that homeschooling didn't but maybe you can find a job now that doesn't require you being responsible for anyone else but yourself. That can be disconcerting and freeing all at the same time!

SO...

1) Are any of YOU newly retired homeschool moms? If so, how are you coping? What are you doing for YOU now?

2) If you are not a retired homeschool mom, are you close? Are you making plans? 

3) If you are not a retired homeschool mom, or even close, what's your school year look like this year?

Talk to me! 

[Shelydon]

I have 4 years left. When my last one graduates, I will be getting a full-time job. 

[Dmmetler]

I moved to teaching more (I'd reopened my studio when L was a sophomore) and have gradually added homeschool classes. 

[freesia]

I also have four years left.  I will only have one student after years of teaching many. We also just moved  seven hours away from where we were to a very different place. I am already thinking of reimagining my life. In two weeks my college kids leave. I  am excited to see what this year holds. I have no idea what I’ll do when the last one leaves. I was a teacher, but probably won’t go back to that—maybe an aid? I started my family late, so I will be older. Dh would like me to work, though. He worries about retirement. We will see. I have a feeling something will turn up. I don’t have a great need to have a meaningful career at this point. I was a good teacher and homeschooling has been fulfilling. 

[catz]

My youngest is leaving for college in a couple weeks.  I am not sure what I am going to do exactly.  I am thinking of trying to get on with a tutoring service, for math specifically.  My oldest just graduated from college this spring and his life is in flux so we're trying to remain flexible for a couple months.

After covid and teens in our house, we could use a few months of dejunking and cleaning for sure.  

I am sure I will be sad when we drop her off and I will miss her, she has been pretty easy to get along with lately.  But I am super excited for her next steps!  She is ready!

[Quarter Note]

Funny you should bring this up.   Tomorrow morning both of my kids will be in public school.  I'm now out of a job.  

The first thing that I will be doing is reading Henry at Work:  Thoreau on Making a Living.  Whatever my remaining years are like, I want to live them fully.  I want my "living" to be real life, making a "life-ing", not just earning money.

What I'd really like to do is find some way to be a scholar/teacher. 

[DawnM]

I am working full time but still caring for other people.   Sigh.   It never ends.

[Laura Corin]

Working full time, taking university modules for fun, working on my fitness. 

[Lecka]

My daughter is going to public high school.  We withdrew her from school 18 months ago, because of problems, and the theme has been for her to catch up in math and get in a good place emotionally.

 

She has made major progress in math, and she’s very strong for starting Algebra I this year.  (Edit:  and she’s in a much better place emotionally!!!!!)
 

I have been active in volunteering with a community group, and this year I have 3 kids making major transitions…. One to college who is living with my parents nearby and still needs driving practice, one with special needs starting high school, and one who had a poor experience in middle school going back to public school.  
 

This year I’m going to continue volunteering and being available as things may come up with my kids, they are all kids who might need some extra help, or they might not.  
 

We’re doing a major budget (that we started recently and is going well!) and seeing how it goes, and seeing how the kids do, and based on that and some other things, thinking about whether I will get a job a year from now.  It depends on so much, that is still up in the air.  
 

This year I’m also focusing on a certain thing with my volunteer work that will make me feel like I’m not leaving anyone in the lurch if I do stop after this year.  
 

My husband doesn’t want me to get a job, and at this point I feel like it’s down to the budget.  Either we are saving every month or we aren’t — we have had a lot of break-even months and it is not sustainable. We have to actually be people who do save, and not people who “could” save if we actually did it.  Or, maybe we just need more money coming in.  
 

We also have had a lot of fluctuating expenses, that we took some steps to manage recently, so I think our expenses will be fluctuating dramatically less.  But we will see how it goes over the year!

 

In the meantime I feel like I could get a reference letter (or letters) from my volunteer work, so I feel good about that.  

Edited August 8, 2023 by Lecka

[kirstenhill]

I'm getting close-ish I think.  Youngest is only 11, but I think with older siblings out of the house or at public school, I think he will want to be in full time school sooner rather than later.  The sticking point for him is that he is dyslexic, and I think it would be a huge frustration for him to be in school right now.  He is doing a very part time thing this year (just gym and band), but we may try one academic class next year to see how it goes with accommodations. If it goes well, he could be in school maybe 2 yrs from now? Or three if he goes in 9th grade like his brothers.  I think there is a non-zero chance that DS14 will decide full time P.S. is not for him when he tries it this year, but I think he would still do part time and would generally be pretty independent if he decides to be home for some of his classes (or we would use online providers, etc).  

I've been thinking about what kind of part time job I might want to get...I doubt I will work full time until we are empty nesters, and maybe not even then.  I do a lot of volunteer work right now, which I would probably not be able to do if working full time.  Part of me just wants something like working in a coffee shop (social, no "take home" stress).  But I've also thought I would love to use my administrative skills to work for a non-profit or something meaningful like that. But I could imagine a "part time" role expanding to fill more time and stress with some orgs.  My degree is in English, and I did some very part time editing in the past, but I don't think I want to do that for any significant number of hours.  I've also considered tutoring using the skills I've learned working with my dyslexic child, but I think I will feel kind of burnt out on that having worked so hard with him the past several years.  Maybe in the future though.

[regentrude]

I finished homeschooling a few years ago. When my oldest left for college, I increased work from part-time to full-time and took on a big project and piled on additional responsibilities at my job.
I also decided to channel the freed-up energy and time into writing and have reinvented myself as a poet. I have since published three books of poetry, run a local poetry event series, and am associate editor/submission reader for two poetry magazines.

[Tiberia]

I finished homeschooling dd in 2020. I have been tutoring kids since then, but starting this year, I have no teaching or tutoring obligations. I got rid of my homeschool books and am looking forward to a new chapter in my life.

I work part time in a non-teaching field and I volunteer part time with a non-profit. Husband is retired, and we're empty nesters now. It's a strange new world, but we're embracing it: trying to get fit, stay healthy, travel, do hobbies, help with extended family, etc. 

It is strange to be not prepping a class and picking out books this summer. 

[ScoutTN]

My older child and only homeschooler leaves for her freshman year of college the day after tomorrow. I still have a child in public high school, an extremely challenging child who is not yet driving.
 

I have two part time jobs, but we need more money. I would like to work FT if I can find something with some flexibility. But I am older, have two theology degrees and weak tech skills. Not particularly employable. We cannot afford for me to go back to school. So, open to possibilities, but unsure what might turn up. 
 

Very discouraged. ☹️

Thinking about consulting a head-hunter or career coach to get some advice and perspective, 

Edited August 21, 2023 by ScoutTN

[Wheres Toto]

My youngest just turned 16 but I think will be a little bit slower to launch than her brother who started cc at 16.  I'm probably looking at 2-3 more years of at least semi-actively homeschooling.   

I started a homeschool science center 7 years ago and I plan to continue doing that as long as I am able.  Dh is talking about retiring so that may affect things.   

[mom31257]

@scrapbookbuzz, it is so awesome to see you here!! I think of you often and wish to hear from you! I know you said it is the final teacher's lounge, but I hope you'll still come around. 

1) Are any of YOU newly retired homeschool moms? If so, how are you coping? What are you doing for YOU now?

I retired from homeschooling my own children two years ago when our youngest graduated. I continued something I was already doing while homeschooling my own, teaching math classes online for homeschool students (mostly friends' kids). I tutor public school students and test prep students. 

I homeschool one student for his dad because his mom passed away. I meet with him daily to keep him on track with work, and I keep his transcript. He has attended co-ops and now CATE classes through a public school program in addition to the work we do. 

We moved that summer to a new town to be closer to my dad. He has Parkinson's but has responded well to the medicine and still lives alone, drives, is active, etc. 

I joined the local arts council board and will direct the quilt exhibit this fall. I enjoy doing something in the community.  Through that same organization, I started a ladies game night, which I've moved to my home with a core group of ladies I met through it. 

I have made some friends that I see occasionally, and we have joined a local church. I'd like to do a little more there, but I'm trying to figure out what. 

It was a lot of change at once, but I am content and glad to be in this stage of life! 

 

[lewelma]

I've gone back to university. I'm currently working on my masters degree in environmental management, studying how legal/structural issues in society constrain how people think about environmental issues.  Very fascinating.  I've also picked up a part time job doing the science legwork to litigate environmental issues. The current project is evaluating how the law for pesticide approval has been interpreted in policy. So I get to evaluate how the required study design and required risk factors are too reductionist and ignore the complexities of the real world. Then the lawyers get to litigate. It is very fun to mix all my science and math skills with real life issues. 

[mom2scouts]

I only have two years left and I'm trying to decide how my "retirement" will look. I may need to work since we don't have any retirement savings, but I'm not sure what or how much. I'm also thinking about if it will involve big life changes or not. Anyway, I realized the other day that I need to stop worrying so much about where I'll be in two years and really enjoy these last two years of homeschooling and parenting while keeping the future in mind.

[wintermom]

I've been retired from homeschooling for 2 years. I'm working from home full-time. I love being at home, and all the flexibility this affords. I'd not last at this job if I needed to be in the office everyday all day. I took a part-time Graduate diploma to retrain for this kind of job, then landed the job, and I'm really enjoying it! It was stressful being a student again, but now that I'm in the working world, the stress is MUCH less. I have no ambition to work my way up to a manager level. A big huge NOPE there. I enjoy being a valued worker-bee member of my teams. 

Edited August 8, 2023 by wintermom

[YaelAldrich]

My youngest (of four children)  is heading to high school in NY this year (unexpected but hopefully a terrific journey)  So I am done homeschooling my own and almost to an empty nest as my older two boys are in college and out of the house.  My daughter is a high school senior and she is researching colleges now.  

I might have my youngest's best friend who I have been tutoring for five years.  Supposedly he is going to the private school he attends part time.  They are getting push back from the school and they (and I) know there is a very large likelyhood that he will learn nothing there (and perhaps worse regress in his academic abilities).  So I left the door open to them.

I am supposed to become the Executive Director of our community mikvah (ritual immersion pools).  I work there already in a lower level position.  I have the exact skill set they need for this position.  But the board is in absolute disarray and I'm not interested in trying to lead a recalcitrant group of people not interested in transparency and effective leadership.  We will see if they listen to me (and one board member/donor).

If that all falls through I am considering some classes to get a post baccalaurate with a (crazy) eye to applying to medical school.  Or getting my certificate in Chaplaincy.  

We will see.  Blessings and prayers to all those in flux!

[caayenne]

This will be the first time in 14 years that I won't have a kid home with me, and I think I'm ready (at least, I hope I am! 😅)

I'm sad about it, of course, but I'm also looking forward to finally having some for self-care. My kids are both pretty high-needs (ASD and OCD/anxiety), and things like exercise, sleep, and eating healthy have fallen by the wayside over the years. I'm planning to spend the next two weeks figuring out a new daily routine to maximize my time and wellness, as both my guys are going to our local college and will still be living at home. But I have a lot of irons in the fire at this point, so we'll see!

Three years ago, my whole identity was tied up in my kids and homeschooling, and I just couldn't imagine what daily life could look like without it. I would pretty much start crying whenever the subject came up. 🥲

But two and a half years ago, I helped found an online creative writing community for teens—primarily as a social outlet for my younger DS—and it's grown more than anyone could have ever imagined. We now have well over 100 teens writing together (on a discussion forum much like this one), and they've truly become honorary kids to me. 💕 The students dubbed me the "Momerator" a while back, because they say I'm their mom on the internet! 😂(I moderate all the content.)

I got to try my hand at editing a novel last year for one of the more advanced students who was looking to self-publish her second book. It was a wonderful experience, and now I'm editing a novel for another student and have two more in queue. Being an editor was one of my secret dream jobs when I was a kid, so this has honestly been a pretty amazing opportunity!

I've also gotten back into voice teaching (middle school/ high school students) for the first time since before I started homeschooling. I started with a few online voice students last year, and I will start teaching my first in-person student in a couple of weeks. And I was just asked to do the vocal coaching for my son's musical theater group this fall!

If you had told me three years ago about all the things I'd be doing today, I wouldn't have believed you. Life is an amazing journey, and you never know what might be just around the next bend in the road! 😊

 

Edited August 11, 2023 by caayenne

[regentrude]

2 minutes ago, caayenne said:

I started with a few online voice students last year

tell me about that. How do you get the audio quality high enough to be able to teach voice online? And how do you handle the time lag with the accompaniment?

 

[Ali in OR]

I guess I've been done 6 years now?? When youngest was in 8th grade (our last year homeschooling), I started taking courses, one at a time, to renew my expired teaching credential. When she was a freshman and her sister a senior, I subbed for the school district, and I realized that if I ever wanted to work with a disabled adult dd (oldest), I would need regular hours to make her care predictable. So I got hired on by the district as an Educational Assistant. I did that for 3 years along with a couple of long-term sub assignments for pregnant math teachers. During Covid I got the opportunity to teach math again 30 years after my post-college math teaching career. I have taught 2 years and will start my third in a few weeks.

Last year felt like the biggest change as we put our severely disabled dd into adult foster care (though we still have her most weekends). That has really taken a load off of us. I'm enjoying this stage of life as working empty-nesters. But it was obviously a years-long process to get here.

[caayenne]

2 hours ago, regentrude said:

tell me about that. How do you get the audio quality high enough to be able to teach voice online? And how do you handle the time lag with the accompaniment?

 

Well, I've found that if the devices are good, the audio isn't really an issue. I'm on a MacBook Air, and my students use various types of laptops. I also have a microphone that I can use as needed. I teach over Zoom, and the audio is actually just fine as long as the internet connection is good. You just have to take turns. 🙃

As far as the accompaniment goes, it can't be live, unfortunately. For teaching a new song, I send the sheet music as a PDF ahead of time, and then I teach the voice part a line at a time by demonstrating live. (Most of my online students are middle schoolers, so it works well.) I then make them two tracks: one with accompaniment and vocals (me singing) for learning purposes and another with just piano for practicing. Or for Broadway-style songs, we might use a karaoke track (if I can find a good one). They sing along with the piano track for subsequent lessons.

Edited August 9, 2023 by caayenne

[regentrude]

16 minutes ago, caayenne said:

Well, we've found that if the devices are good, the audio isn't really an issue. I'm on a MacBook Air, and most of my students use various kinds of laptops. I also have a microphone that I can use if I need to. I teach over Zoom, and the audio is actually just fine as long as the internet connection is good. You just have to take turns. 🙃

As far as the accompaniment goes, it can't be live, unfortunately. For teaching a new song, I send the sheet music as a PDF ahead of time, and then I teach the voice part a line at a time by demonstrating live. (Most of my online students are middle schoolers, so it works well.) I then make them two tracks: one with accompaniment and vocals (me singing) for learning purposes and another with just piano for practicing. Or for Broadway-style songs, we might use a karaoke track (if I can find a good one). They sing along with the piano track for subsequent lessons.

It's not perfect, but my students and their families seem happy with the lessons!

Thanks for the explanation. With the bolded, it makes sense.
Somehow I was thinking about teaching professional singers (my mother was a voice professor at the conservatory) and I can't imagine the audio of a laptop mic doing well enough with the nuances. My bad.

Edited August 8, 2023 by regentrude

[caayenne]

2 hours ago, regentrude said:

Thanks for the explanation. With the bolded, it makes sense.
Somehow I was thinking about teaching professional singers (my mother was a professor at the conservatory) and I can't imagine the audio of a laptop mic dong well enough with the nuances. My bad.

I don't think I'd attempt to teach college-level or professional singers online, because there are just too many fine details of singing that honestly need to be taught in person, but it works very well even for high school level singing. I can demonstrate techniques just as well online as in person, and I can hear my students and correct their mistakes in just the same way my voice teachers did.

The audio is surprisingly good. The microphone I use is a Blue Yeti mic (more like what you would use for podcasting), but my students are generally just using their laptop mics.  

Edited August 9, 2023 by caayenne

[Vasha]

My youngest leaves for college on Monday.  I dread it every minute of every day.

I will work more hours and work on long overdue home projects like painting, landscaping, updating house things and well as a big homeschool clean out/purge all closets and books and everything all to distract myself so I don't cry every day.

[Ausmumof3]

This is what I’m thinking about right now. I have four years left till youngest is distance ed. I’m already working part time and financially will probably need full time. I’m torn between wanting to study to make that more financial and wanting to enjoy the time left with the kids.

[PronghornD]

I retired from homeschooling a few years back, although my kid still needs quite a bit of emotional support via telephone.

I started tutoring adults with disabilities in 2020, and I love it. My students range in level from very basic reading and math to community college level.

For further self-fulfillment, I garden, watch birds, and am in multiple book clubs. I also teach Sunday school.

Transitioning out of homeschooling was hard, especially with that pesky pandemic making everything turn surreal. However, I am happy.

Edited August 9, 2023 by PronghornD

[mlktwins]

My twins are heading to college in the 2 weeks and I'm officially retired from homeschooling. I loved most every minute of it and have no regrets, but I'm not sad it's over. Between homeschooling high school with twins, caring for my elderly father (he is very difficult), dealing with the deaths of my in-laws in 2021, Covid, and the college application process, I am tired 🤪! I will miss my guys though.

I have a long list of home projects and fun things I want to work on. I will still be caring for my dad, but I plan on finally taking time to work on me. I plan to ease into exercising regularly. I will also eat healthier with only shopping and cooking for me and DH most of the year. We need to finish cleaning out and selling DH's parent's house, which will be a lot of work, but we both really need closure on that.

For fun, I plan to organize and work on my cross-stitching (my cheap therapy), work on organizing my pictures and getting better at photography (both with my DSLR and my iPhone), and reading again for pleasure.

At some point, I may look into going back to work (probably part time). We will see. DH is basically retired and I'm not sure I want to be tied to a job's schedule that would limit our ability to travel and do things together.

I'm very ready for this next chapter!

[katilac]

6 hours ago, caayenne said:

 But two and a half years ago, I helped found an online creative writing community for teens—primarily as a social outlet for my younger DS—and it's grown more than anyone could have ever imagined. We now have well over 100 teens writing together (on a discussion forum much like this one),  

That is quite cool!

 

[caayenne]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

That is quite cool!

Thank you! 😊

They are all each other's best friends and biggest encouragers, and it is amazing to witness! 💕

Edited August 9, 2023 by caayenne

[easypeasy]

13 hours ago, scrapbookbuzz said:

SO...

1) Are any of YOU newly retired homeschool moms? If so, how are you coping? What are you doing for YOU now?

2) If you are not a retired homeschool mom, are you close? Are you making plans? 

3) If you are not a retired homeschool mom, or even close, what's your school year look like this year?

Talk to me! 

I was technically retired a few years ago, but we had a bonus kid come into our lives. While I didn't homeschool him (he wasn't "mine" to homeschool while a senior in hs, but was living with us), I helped him navigate his college applications and plans. He just finished his freshman year away at college.

Now that all four of mine are technically out of the house (3 are in college atm), I am coping SO WELL!!! OMGOSH. I love them, but dh and I are having a blast. 😂

I am not yet working full-time, but have a pt job "for fun." I mostly work around the house, reorganizing (I still find homeschooling stuff lurking in back corners of cabinets or shelves!) and modernizing it so we can sell it soon. We plan to move to a larger house (now that the kids are gone, haha) so that we can have a big place for them to come and visit us. Our current house has been great for "living in" but the layout isn't the best for multi-family visits, which we sure hope to host a lot of in the future.

I'll be working full time after ds1 and ds 2 graduate. They are both tied to financial aid and it wouldn't make sense for me to get a ft job bc it would all go to their schools (and, probably, more than whatever my measly income would be).

Til then, I stay so busy DIY'ing house stuff (I am tearing out a wall at the moment!), taking care of our three gigantic indoor dogs (I don't know what I was thinking - it is like having three needy toddlers in the house 24/7), helping the kids research or navigate something for their future whenever they ask, and traveling with dh as much as possible before we have a big house payment to deal with. 🙃

 

[Ginevra]

Youngest budgie goes to college in two weeks.

I work FT now in a legal department. It’s a really great job and I’m proud to be doing it. 
 

I focus time on my art (mostly watercolor painting and drawing), physical fitness and hiking. I am slowly tackling many projects in my home, including finding new homes for a huge collection of homeschooling materials and books. I want to build or move into a smaller home in the near future. 
 

I homeschooled for 16 years; each of my 3 kids attended high school (though for the youngest Covid sent him back home). I’m glad to be done. Would I do it all again? Probably not. I don’t “regret it”, per se, but in hindsight I think my time could have been better invested, at least after elementary school years. I suppose it all worked out in the end, but I’m not sure it was the best choice for us all. 

[Annie Elle]

I always worked part time as a nurse so when I finished homeschooling, it was easy to move into a full time position. I also work as an adjunct instructor at our local tech school and found that I love it. I am hoping to find a full time position there. So far the transition from homeschooling hasn’t been difficult but yesterday I went to the library for the first time alone. I saw many moms and their kids. I left a little teary missing the kids when they were little. 
 

i am also rediscovering my music. I finished a music minor in school and back then never thought I would set it aside. There just wasn’t time between the kids, husband, homeschooling, home and work. Now after 30 years, I’m finding purpose again playing piano and bass guitar. I enjoy people’s reactions when they see a nerdy middle age women playing bass. 🤓 I am also taking voice lessons. 

[elegantlion]

I started college while ds was homeschooling (high school). I'm now working on my PhD in medieval history. Since starting grad school, I've been working as a TA or an RA. 

[Loesje22000]

I finished homeschooling just before COVID came around, finding a job was during Covid a problem, and still it is.

I am voluntary receptionist at the local social services now, I sing in 2 choirs, and run a small bookclub.

I became serious ill this year, so chances for a paid job are even smaller now.

I’m trying to be content with the above, although I would love to have a bigger social netwerk.

 

 

[HS Mom in NC]

Lurk now and then at TWTM boards. Finally decide to comment.

I retired in May 2022 and immediately rushed back to AZ to help my brother care for my dad after his open heart surgery.  I was there a couple of weeks and he was very difficult. 

Youngest spent a semester at the local badly run community college, then switched to a technical college that has it together. She'll finish up there this year then head to university.

A lot of time has been spent providing support of various types to help oldest who is currently disabled with her medically complex (physical and mental) issues.  At least we're in a med school city.

Putting in more of our food forest and ornamental gardens.  The fish pond is in and we're growing our biofilter. The cattlepannel tunnels and archway are in.  I've tested some new plant cultivars.  We're doing a little forestry under the supervision of the federal agency that handles that for the 11 acre protected wetland that borders our property.

I joined two book local clubs and stuck with the smaller one because the conversation is better.  Really interesting people tend to join book clubs.  I tried out a 40+ women's group.  Nice folks, but their weekend activities don't work for my schedule. 

I flew back to AZ in May of this year when they released my step-dad, who helped raise me, from the hospital and into hospice care at home.  All 5 adult kids were with him for his last 3 days.  Then there was the two weeks of dealing with my difficult mother through funeral plans and managing all the complicated family dynamics issues with all the siblings. Why did I wait so long to move away? I still haven't processed it emotionally. It was exhausting and has thrown me for a loop spiritually this summer. I'll get it worked out, but there it is.

My husband and I took a delightful 30th anniversary trip to DC via train (I always wanted to go on a train) when I got back from AZ.   We're now big fans of train travel and are planning to see more of the eastern US that way. We're in a really good place as a couple right now, basically a second honeymoon, so that's been lovely.

I found a different church that's focused on racial reconciliation and building community, so I'm volunteering there, getting to know people, and joined their book club too.  For those of you listening to The Holy Post and their interviewees like Derwin Grey and Esau MacCaullay, on that topic, it's like that. Overall it's been good.

My neck issues have been limiting, so that's a huge adjustment.  Mobility issues can really mess with your sense of self.  I'm trying not to be too demoralized.

I'm still working on getting neighborhood community going.  Two new families are in and we're enjoying their company. One is especially interested in community building and she's done some suburban homesteading, so she's been great.
 

[Quarter Note]

On 8/8/2023 at 3:26 PM, YaelAldrich said:

to get a post baccalaurate with a (crazy) eye to applying to medical school.  Or getting my certificate in Chaplaincy.  

Good for you, @YaelAldrich!!! Wow!  Please keep us updated!

 

On 8/8/2023 at 3:40 PM, caayenne said:

If you had told me three years ago about all the things I'd be doing today, I wouldn't have believed you. Life is an amazing journey, and you never know what might be just around the next bend in the road!

@caayenne, thank you for these words and this encouragement.  I really needed this.

 

On 8/9/2023 at 7:02 AM, elegantlion said:

I started college while ds was homeschooling (high school). I'm now working on my PhD in medieval history. Since starting grad school, I've been working as a TA or an RA. 

@elegantlion, I hope this doesn't sound like I'm gushing, but I really admire you for going so far in a career that most people would say is "impractical".  This may be worth its own spin-off thread, but I'm wondering if you would have any advice for others (me!) who want to pursue a passionate interest rather than just take a job because it pays the bills - though income is always a consideration, of course.

(In case you're wondering, it's not medieval history that I am passionate about, though I think what you are doing is really fascinating.  My interest is more in the 19th century.  Crazy thing, I just feel at home whenever I read something written from then or listen to music composed then.  I love reading more and more about how society was changing during that time period.  This is why I keep quoting Thoreau on the forum.)

[Blossom'sGirl]

I'm newly retired.  My youngest heads off to college in 2 weeks.  We still have one older son who works full time at home.

Apparently word must have got out that I am free as I have been asked to long term sub at a Christian school this spring, which I am considering.  I have also been asked to teach a class once a week at a homeschool co-op.  I told them thanks but no thanks.  And, just tonight, I've been asked to sub at a local church preschool to which I haven't responded yet but I know I'm not going to do that.   

I actually would like to try something not involved with children or education.  I used to think I would love it but have realized that I don't want to.  I may look into IT work.  I would take more time off but we need extra income to help our youngest with school and pay off our car.

[Carrie12345]

I’m going into year 16 or 17, depending on how one qualifies hsing, with about 5 years left, depending on the choices ds and I make.

I have a year left for my associates in social work, 2 years to BSW and licensure, then probably around 16 months more if I do my masters. I don’t yet know what area of sw I’ll go into, but I don’t know how to stop taking care of people. (Eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter here. At least my poor eldest daughter has an older brother.)

I’ll also continue volunteering with the fire department and emergency management agency. I’d like to write seriously, about homeschooling and about SW stuff.

I want to do foster care, but I don’t think I’ll ever truly get Dh on board.

I’ll inevitably get more dogs.

Hopefully, I’ll drastically improve my garden.

At some point, I WILL complete my “if I’m dead” binder.

If I win a bagillion dollars, I’ll buy one of our area’s many abandoned schools and start an amazing homeschool center.

And I’ll host more Sunday brunches, which are always awesome.

Can you tell how often I think about this?

[KidsHappen]

I have been done for about 7 or 8 years now. I spent the first few years driving back and forth to GA to see my kids and grandkids until I finally got them to move here. Then I spent a few years watching the littles and helping with homeschooling the older. Now I still consult and help them pick curriculum but am basically retired. I am disabled so I spend most of my time at home reading, learning, crafting and visiting with family. 

My hubby should be getting his updated disability rating from the VA soon and then he will apply for SS after his birthday in Nov. We are hoping to stay in this house for awhile and have my dd that is currently living in TX move back in with us. That will give her some time to save for a house and then when we can no longer manage the stairs we will sell this house and buy a small cottage for hubby and I and she will look for a house with some land for her family.  

[alisoncooks]

I’ve got 3 yrs left. After that, I’ll probably go back to working in the public school system for a few years…at least until both kids are out of college. 

After that, idk. I’m thinking on what I’d like to do longer term. 

[historically accurate]

2) If you are not a retired homeschool mom, are you close? Are you making plans? 

I have 2 years left. I've taken 2 part time jobs in order to pay outstanding medical bills (all 3 of my children ended up with high medical needs during their teen years). I'm so ready to be done. Of course, the youngest loves homeschool and did not want to attend our local high school, and the middle wasn't able to for a variety of reasons, so I homeschool still. 

I hope to add more hours at work after they graduate. For myself, I've joined a book club, and I have stepped up my exercise routine lately.

Hopefully, I'll have some time before I have to start elder care, but as my MIL is 85, I figure I will move into that almost immediately.

[elegantlion]

On 8/10/2023 at 3:21 PM, Quarter Note said:

 

 

@elegantlion, I hope this doesn't sound like I'm gushing, but I really admire you for going so far in a career that most people would say is "impractical".  This may be worth its own spin-off thread, but I'm wondering if you would have any advice for others (me!) who want to pursue a passionate interest rather than just take a job because it pays the bills - though income is always a consideration, of course.

(In case you're wondering, it's not medieval history that I am passionate about, though I think what you are doing is really fascinating.  My interest is more in the 19th century.  Crazy thing, I just feel at home whenever I read something written from then or listen to music composed then.  I love reading more and more about how society was changing during that time period.  This is why I keep quoting Thoreau on the forum.)

Why thank you. I don't know that I have any real advice, but I'll write out why this is working for me right now and take what works for you (or others). For reference, I'm in my 50s.

short version: I don't recommend doing a PhD in humanities right now unless you are 1. super passionate about your subject, 2. have family support both emotionally and financially, and 3. have proven support from a particular advisor (not just a department or lip service from a university, but someone who will mentor you and find opportunities for you). 

It could be worth looking into doing a master's in history. Those are generally two years and give you a good feel of how much you really love a subject. part of our coursework required colloquia -where you generally read an assigned book a week and discuss. Other times we'd be reading 100-200 pages of articles per week. 

 

long version: I have a lot of things in my favor that allow me to do this program. I'm also making some personal and real sacrifices to do this. Things that were okay when I made the decision but life has changed, and I waver almost everyday whether this is a good decisision in the long term. 

I started grad school to get my master's and get out. I live about an hour from my university and opted to move there for the school year for 2 years. I intended to stop there and return home. About 3 professors in my department made me an offer to do a PhD there. Normally they farm out PhD students to different institutions but my situation (older student tied to the area) made me a good fit to stay there. I got accepted into the PhD program literally the day my university shut down for Covid. I've been working remotely (back in my home town) ever since. 

As I said in the short version, I have those top 3 things. I've watched even in the last few years that medieval history programs are being shut down and that knowledge will only be accessible at more elite institutions. I hate that. I have a real enjoyment of medieval history (I do 13th century England). 

My family (mother, son, and significant other) are hugely supportive of me. My SO also has a PhD in medieval history, so his emotional support is so helpful. He's great to just ask basic questions as well. When I applied to the program he held a tenured position at a local university. That university filed financial exigency and a month after Covid shut everything down, he was fired along with about 60 other faculty. He had to retrain and now works for about a little over half his previous income. My hindsight says I should have quit the program then and gone to work. We discussed the pros and cons of that ad naseum and me finding work during Covid (I'm immune compromised) was not going to happen anyway. This situations makes me angry on a regular basis and there is part of me finishing this program for pure spite at how this university treated the intellectual community in our mid-sized city. 

My advisor is supportive beyond measure. She has made sure I've had some funding along the way - although it's been minimal in the last year because of other circumstances. She is supportive of my work and has made me a better scholar. 

I live in a very low cost of living area (if you don't count groceries prices recently!). We rent a slightly too small apartment. This also means we're not buying a house in the next year (it was on the list before he was fired), and I miss having a dog (I want a backyard before I consider getting a dog again). 

I also have some personal motivation to finish. My older sister is getting her PhD as well. We both hope to finish within the next year. We're not super close and we've never been competitive, but this race is kind of fun. I'm at the point where I'm just writing my dissertation, but I'm still struggling with daily motivation. It comes in waves and right now other things are distracting me. Next week is my  back-to-the-grindstone week. 

Last year I went to the National Archives in London. I'd never been to London and it was fine, but it was hard not knowing the city or anyone there. Once I got to the archives and started finding names that I knew in 13th century parchments, I felt at ease. 

Right before I started college, I left a controlling almost 20 year marriage. I spent years walking on eggshells and I had lost the essence of me along the way. The last decade has allowed me to find myself and I'm very fortunate that my SO is adamant that I take this time to focus on myself. He's fine if I quit tomorrow too. 

If formal study is not in the cards, there are plenty of way to create a study for yourself to do a deep dive into a subject. I plan on doing that with Ancient Egypt once I'm done with my program. 

[Quarter Note]

On 8/12/2023 at 12:29 PM, elegantlion said:

short version: I don't recommend doing a PhD in humanities right now unless you are 1. super passionate about your subject, 2. have family support both emotionally and financially, and 3. have proven support from a particular advisor (not just a department or lip service from a university, but someone who will mentor you and find opportunities for you). 

@elegantlion, thank you you so much for writing so much of your story to encourage and inspire me.  (Please excuse me for taking so long to get back to you - life got in the way this week.)

I definitely have 1.5 of your top three things:  I have the passion and drive, and I have my husband's support, but I'm not sure that my kids would recognize "Mom has her own stuff to do right now - take care of yourself!

I, too, am in my 50's, and feeling pretty insecure about the idea of writing a paper again, which I haven't done in over thirty years.  However, even in the last week I've been dreaming about topics that I might be able to pursue at least at the level of a master's degree.  Why not?  Life is too precious, living is too interesting, to have nothing higher to accomplish than keeping up with the dishes and the mending and the laundry.  The next step is to send up a few test balloons.  I'm going to try enrolling in a continuing education course just to try out the class-taking experience again.   Wish me luck!

Thank you again, and good luck to you as you finish!  I wish you much motivation in tackling that dissertation!

[Laura Corin]

On 8/9/2023 at 2:03 PM, Loesje22000 said:

I finished homeschooling just before COVID came around, finding a job was during Covid a problem, and still it is.

I am voluntary receptionist at the local social services now, I sing in 2 choirs, and run a small bookclub.

I became serious ill this year, so chances for a paid job are even smaller now.

I’m trying to be content with the above, although I would love to have a bigger social netwerk.

 

 

I'm sorry that you are ill and that this is another barrier to your building your life.

[Eos]

No idea.  I take my youngest to college next Friday, finishing 30 years of homeschooling.  I know I'm sad but also can't really let myself feel it, it's too vast.

I have a couple of projects I might want to do but I'm someone who has to finish a thing before truly beginning another, so I'm being patient with myself for now.