How carefully do you schedule your day?

[Not_a_Number]

I'm curious how rigid people's schedules tend to be! 

I'm rather ADHD-ish (I could probably get diagnosed, but I mostly like how my brain works in its natural state), so I tend to plan out the day rather carefully... otherwise I will absolutely waste most of it 😂. I have fairly detailed schedules as a result -- for the kids' schoolwork, but also for other stuff like bath time and meals. 

We also have a pretty busy life and I homeschool, work part-time, and organize our "hybrid co-op" (people have told me it's not exactly a co-op, but I'm not quite sure what to call it!), so I'm sure it doesn't help that we have so much to do! Although I rather like being busy... again, otherwise I'd spend all my time on the internet 😂.

I'm curious how other people approach this! 

[Ann.without.an.e]

Right now....#justsurvive 🤣🤣

[fraidycat]

I should be more rigid. I'm a champion time-waster.

[cjzimmer1]

I'm probably the complete opposite of you.  Planning, scheduling, structure leaves me so stressed out that I can't hardly function.  We just wing it every day.  Drives my DH hubby nuts because he's a planner and he is constantly asking "when are we doing....." or "what are your plans for ...."  I just tell him,  after 25 years of marriage you still haven't figured out that I don't operate that way?  

[marbel]

When I was homeschooling I was pretty carefully scheduled. The year between finishing up homeschooling and going to work, I didn't schedule - and I got very little done. When I went back to work I had specific working hours, so that of course was a strict schedule. 

Now I guess I am retired (I quit my job and didn't get a new one, and I'm pretty old so...) and I find I still need to have a pretty good schedule. I tend toward laziness and can easily fritter away hours looking up recipes, looking up books (rather than actually reading books), puttering around the house rather than doing anything of substance. So, I work off a daily plan of exercise, tasks, etc. along with a few scheduled group activities.

[Not_a_Number]

Just now, marbel said:

When I went back to work I had specific working hours, so that of course was a strict schedule. 

I think this is a good point -- a lot of people have schedules that others have built in to their days. Work, school, etc. 

As a homeschooler and a freelancer with a husband who's an academic, there's just none of that. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

20 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I'm curious how rigid people's schedules tend to be! 

I'm rather ADHD-ish (I could probably get diagnosed, but I mostly like how my brain works in its natural state), so I tend to plan out the day rather carefully... otherwise I will absolutely waste most of it 😂. I have fairly detailed schedules as a result -- for the kids' schoolwork, but also for other stuff like bath time and meals. 

We also have a pretty busy life and I homeschool, work part-time, and organize our "hybrid co-op" (people have told me it's not exactly a co-op, but I'm not quite sure what to call it!), so I'm sure it doesn't help that we have so much to do! Although I rather like being busy... again, otherwise I'd spend all my time on the internet 😂.

I'm curious how other people approach this! 

I'm also a little ADHD-ish. I've always been pretty busy too and I like that. I don't do down time well. I have so much going on, I don't really schedule every minute though. I just pick what I need to do most and work on it. 

Right now I have so many balls in the air I don't know how much longer I can keep them there but I'm sure trying. When the twins turn two, I request a 3 month nap 🤣

I get up at 5:00 AM and try to get everything ready to take to DD's (anything I need for meal prep, etc), shower, walk my dogs, and leave at 6:00. 

I get to her house around 6:15 and assess where everyone is at. I either get DS in the direction of school if everyone is asleep or I jump in where needed with babies if we're in a feeding cycle so DSIL can go to work. I feed everyone breakfast and lunch when the time is right. I start some laundry when I get a chance. It is mostly a cycle of feeding babies, cleaning bottles and pump parts, holding fussy babies as needed, trying to keep DD fed and hydrated, and keeping her house clean. In the middle of all of this, I'm also still schooling one and I technically still have a part time job that I'm trying to keep up with. This takes way more time than one might imagine. I make dinner and have it ready around 6:00 and I make enough for all of us but portion off what we need and take it home. I'm home around 6:30 and we all eat. We clean the kitchen, walk dogs, and then I try to do what needs to be done in the garden now via flashlight. I usually start a load of clothes to start around 3 AM and be done for DH or me to dry and fold in the morning before work. A few nights I will go home and then go back to DD's around 10PM to help with the night time feedings so that DSIL can get some sleep (he has a long commute). I'm just doing this when he starts to seem worn down. Also, I'm doing all the grocery shopping for two households so there's that. (ETA)

I'm .... tired. That is all. So, yes, for now .... #justsurvive is about the motto. 

I am home today and DSIL is there and I have a bazillion things I need to do like clean my OWN house and be out in the garden but I am here because I'm tired and brainless and just need to sit a minute lol 

Edited March 11, 2023 by Ann.without.an.e

[Not_a_Number]

That sounds overwhelming!! Always good to take a break... 

[rebcoola]

We have a very loose routine I'm probably ADHD. I love to make detailed schedules and than never follow them.  I am really not very busy though.

[73349]

If I don't plan it, it doesn't get done.

I'm currently running my daily task list on Habitica (and also using a Big Whomping Wall Calendar and Google Calendar and a bullet journal) but considering switching to Notion to try to get better calendar integration.

I'd make a decent candidate for a poster child for Undiagnosed ADHD-I in an Adult.

Edited March 11, 2023 by 73349

[Ann.without.an.e]

6 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

I should be more rigid. I'm a champion time-waster.

 

I'm obviously deliriously tired. I read "I'm a champion wine taster" 🤣 

[J-rap]

I generally have non-routine "must-do's" scheduled in carefully, but am pretty good at filling in the rest of the day without putting everything in an actual time-slot.

That said, I do have days now and then that are so crammed with important must-do's that I write out a pretty detailed scheduled the day before! 

[Ann.without.an.e]

1 minute ago, rebcoola said:

We have a very loose routine I'm probably ADHD. I love to make detailed schedules and than never follow them.  I am really not very busy though.

In my younger years I would spend so much time making detailed lists and schedules because that is who I *want* to be. I really do. But at some point I realized that was just wasting my precious time and I was better to just do what needed to be done than to find creative ways to plan it but never do it 😆

[Bootsie]

I have never had a detailed, rigid schedule.  We have always had some things that we had to work around, DH teaching, my teaching, DDs class, etc.  But, we didn't have a precise schedule for at-home activities and tasks.  One reason is that one day would be so different than another:  One child went to preschool MWF morning (but stayed until 2:00 on W). The other went  to preschool on M and Thurs.  Music lessons were on Tues...  I would have spent too much time planning everything tightly (and would be stressed when something threw us off of schedule).  

The other reason was when I was a teen I was babysitting for a family and the mother had a schedule posted in her kitchen that look like this:

6:32  wake up

6:35  turn on cofffee pot

6:38  Wake A

6::40  Poor milk

6:41  Wake A again

6:43  Put toast in toaster

6:44 turn on news

I knew I could never live like that 

[Ann.without.an.e]

Just now, Bootsie said:

 

The other reason was when I was a teen I was babysitting for a family and the mother had a schedule posted in her kitchen that look like this:

6:32  wake up

6:35  turn on cofffee pot

6:38  Wake A

6::40  Poor milk

6:41  Wake A again

6:43  Put toast in toaster

6:44 turn on news

I knew I could never live like that 

 

That sounds horrible haha. wonder if she stuck to it?

[Pawz4me]

I'm a very routine/schedule oriented person. When the boys were young and we were homeschooling it was a necessity to make sure what had to get done got done. Now I don't have as much to do, but I'm older and have RA. If I don't keep things on a schedule--one that allows ample rest breaks and enables me to do what needs to be done--then I pay for it with increased pain and fatigue.

[Indigo Blue]

Everything just goes into Google Calendar. If I’m having a good day and not hurting too badly, I just do what’s in the calendar. It all goes on there. Meal planning, cleaning, bookkeeping, etc. If I feel I can’t do all or even a part of what’s on the calendar for that day, I just slide that thing to a different day. I always do what I can. Some days I drop it all and focus only on stretching, massaging, and getting food on the table. Sheets can get washed another day. Or tub can wait until the weekend. Bookkeeping always gets done as scheduled, but everything else is flexible. So I live by Google Calendar, sliding things around as needed.

[Indigo Blue]

2 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I'm a very routine/schedule oriented person. When the boys were young and we were homeschooling it was a necessity to make sure what had to get done got done. Now I don't have as much to do, but I'm older and have RA. If I don't keep things on a schedule--one that allows ample rest breaks and enables me to do what needs to be done--then I pay for it with increased pain and fatigue.

This is me. When we homeschooled, this pain problem hadn’t manifested to the extent it has now. I made a yearly calendar for ds then, allowing days for spontaneous days off. Our days were mapped out and ds just worked through his day (when he was older) as it was planned out. We were flexible box checkers, lol. Everything got done unless someone was sick. 

[stephanier.1765]

Except for appointments, I schedule the things I'd like to accomplish in a day but not by time. Basically, it's just a to-do list but rigidity comes into play because once it's written down, then it must be completed. I'm learning to listen to my body and if my body says it's done then then I'm done with the list. It's hard though. I don't know why being written down a task becomes a "must do" instead of "would like to do". I've definitely, needlessly, worked my body to extreme pain and that's got to stop. I'm actually trying to decide right now if I'm capable of continuing today's list.

[Ann.without.an.e]

15 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

This is me. When we homeschooled, this pain problem hadn’t manifested to the extent it has now. I made a yearly calendar for ds then, allowing days for spontaneous days off. Our days were mapped out and ds just worked through his day (when he was older) as it was planned out. We were flexible box checkers, lol. Everything got done unless someone was sick. 

That sounds similar to me.

 

I will make a list for each subject - like list which math lessons need to go together to form a day of work and then have a list of them. Then I’ll cut the items and paste them onto his daily list on Sunday, adjusting for our schedule and random days off. 

[Not_a_Number]

I definitely schedule by time and not by what needs to get done. With my kiddos, you never know if some task will never get done at all and won't be worth the power struggle... when we revamped our homeschooling after the break, I realized I could not require DD10 to actually finish any specific set of questions. (She does do almost all of them. But getting stuck on insisting on a question she's having trouble with or isn't feeling like doing doesn't go well.) 

[Not_a_Number]

I will also absolutely fail to do some scheduled things. 

And I also love having some unscheduled blocks. I have one now. See how productive I'm being, all? 😂

[Kassia]

3 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

Except for appointments, I schedule the things I'd like to accomplish in a day but not by time. Basically, it's just a to-do list but rigidity comes into play because once it's written down, then it must be completed. I'm learning to listen to my body and if my body says it's done then then I'm done with the list. It's hard though. I don't know why being written down a task becomes a "must do" instead of "would like to do". I've definitely, needlessly, worked my body to extreme pain and that's got to stop. I'm actually trying to decide right now if I'm capable of continuing today's list.

First, @Ann.without.an.e you are amazing.  What a blessing you are to your dd and her family (and the rest of your family as well)

I'm more like @stephanier.1765  I have a daily to-do list.  My body seems to follow a very rigid schedule so I tend to sleep, eat, exercise almost at the exact same times every day.  I am an anxious person and my to-do list stresses me out but I have to have it because I'm afraid I'll forget to do things if they aren't written down.  

 

[FreyaO]

We are not organized people by nature, but also we don't deal well with gray zones. "We may do x or not" or "we may do y in the morning or in the afternoon".... will be a source of anxiety and conflict. So, we have a routine and things get scheduled. 

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Right now....#justsurvive 🤣🤣

Same!! On top of a new baby, my FIL has been in the hospital, so we have to drive a half an hour every day to their house to do his farm chores. I’m getting nothing done, but 💯 ok with it. I could put baby down and go do something, BUT baby snuggles are my priority right now!

 

All that aside, I am not overly structured. 2020 was the year I had the best schedule I ever had, but that went out the window as soon as we started leaving the house again.

Edited March 11, 2023 by Elizabeth86

[Not_a_Number]

2020 was a disaster for us for many reasons. For one thing, the anxiety made me schedule EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of every day. And then because I was so stressed and we weren't leaving the house, a lot of the things that used to be fun became a power struggle. (And my marriage wasn't doing well, either, so that just added to the mess.)

Ugh. I think we're still recovering from that mess, and I don't just mean my marriage... I realized recently the kids don't want to do some things I think of as fun because they'd been a problem during the pandemic. 

[Laura Corin]

I make a list for days when I'm not at work. Then I just tick the list as I get things done, in whatever order I fancy.

[Ann.without.an.e]

7 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I could put baby down and go do something, BUT baby snuggles are my priority right now!

 

 

 

I think this is wise and we learn that after we've had a few. Youngest came along a few years after #3 and I embraced that more - you realize just how fast the time goes, right??

❤️ 

3 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

2020 was a disaster for us for many reasons. For one thing, the anxiety made me schedule EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of every day. And then because I was so stressed and we weren't leaving the house, a lot of the things that used to be fun became a power struggle. (And my marriage wasn't doing well, either, so that just added to the mess.)

Ugh. I think we're still recovering from that mess, and I don't just mean my marriage... I realized recently the kids don't want to do some things I think of as fun because they'd been a problem during the pandemic. 

 

I think we all struggle with some post pandemic PTSD. Individually and societally. 

[wendyroo]

In a typical week we have 5 school drop offs, 9 doctor/therapy appointments, 3 music lessons, 3 gymnastics classes, 2 other gym classes, 3 Spanish lessons, 2 library visits, a grocery run, girl scouts, nature class, comic book drawing, board game club, a day of electives at a local school, and a trip to the symphony.

None of the kids does all the things, in fact, their weeks are a very reasonable mix of home and away, of busy and laid back...but I have to get everybody to everything and fit in all the schooling and cooking and laundry around the trips, so I have to be very scheduled. And, obviously, we could drop things, but every single place we go carefully serves a developmental, social, educational or health need for someone, so we keep on keepin' on. 

It actually works pretty well for the kids because they all have ADHD and anxiety and don't handle uncertainty or free time well. And it works for me because I do not have ADHD and can manage a very complex schedule with many moving parts.

[Bootsie]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

That sounds horrible haha. wonder if she stuck to it?

Luckily the list she left for me as a babysitter was not quite as detailed.  But, every time I went over she had a list to the minute of phone calls, empty the trash cans, etc. and had things crossed out.  So, i guess it worked out for her; I often wonder about how the kids turned out...

[marbel]

36 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I will also absolutely fail to do some scheduled things. 

And I also love having some unscheduled blocks. I have one now. See how productive I'm being, all? 😂

Unscheduled blocks are good too. Everyone needs down time - in whatever form that takes.  

[katilac]

18 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

But, every time I went over she had a list to the minute of phone calls, empty the trash cans, etc. and had things crossed out.  So, i guess it worked out for her;  

That sounds very much like OCD was in play. 

[Not_a_Number]

17 minutes ago, marbel said:

Unscheduled blocks are good too. Everyone needs down time - in whatever form that takes.  

Absolutely. I find that the space allows me to start on new projects, for example. Or finally get going on things I've been putting off. 

[MEmama]

I'm routine not schedule oriented, and tbh I'm not busy enough to need any sort of schedule anyway.
 

My current mental health is such that I mostly just want to sleep and often spend a few hours napping in addition to ~10 hours I get at night. If I can make it through the day having done something--anything--productive it feels like an extra win. I do work part time from home so that keeps me busy for several hours every day but it's also a source of major stress, often leading to panic attacks and further exhaustion. 
 

Even when I homeschooled I didn't have a strict schedule, just did whatever needed doing every day. I have a much harder time keeping up now while doing much less.

[alysee]

I have ADHD. My brain hates a schedule but it also needs it so I have a rhythm to our days instead of a rigid schedule. I also have awful time blindness and never know how long something is going to take so it helps me. Even my daily chores have a routine and not a schedule so that my brain doesn't usually rebel. 

[Melissa Louise]

I find routine very helpful.

On work days, there is a routine already there - I work to a timetable, have students at regular times etc. My mental health is nearly always better on a work day, and it's related to the routine. The 'plan' nudges me into action, and action nudges me into greater well-being.

On non-work days/holidays, I have to work much harder to stay afloat, and that is when I need to plan, plan, plan. Not to the extent of timetabling, but I need a running order for the day/evening. So today, which is a non-work day for me, my running list looks like: walk with G, writing, online groceries, shopping for dinner, cook for E,/dinner with E, writing/yoga, dream work, bed.

If I have dead zones in my day, I can come to grinding halt, and that's when I get into arguments here, or other unhealthy behaviors. I'm like a battery powered toy that runs down and stops or malfunctions if the plan/routine isn't there. It's always a balancing act - if I get too prescriptive with  my plan, it triggers my demand avoidance, so the plan needs to be just-right - not too absent, not too present.

When my days were taken up with child-related tasks, we had very strong daily/weekly routines, and then I planned within the routines.

 

 

[Spryte]

Routine oriented here, and comfortable being flexible with moving to-do items around, if need be. My kids are older and perfectly capable of being self sufficient, if needed.

So most days I will X, Y, Z, and some days I will have calendar items that must be done. Other times there will be items I’d like to get done on the calendar, but I can move them around to different days.

And some days the pain can be intense enough that I drop everything and just hang with heating pad all day. We have a freezer full of meals for those days, and I can catch up on what needs to be done another day. Aside from time sensitive things, I’m comfortable with being flexible.

I don’t schedule by time, but I do use the Home Routines app, and have for years. I get a morning, afternoon and evening reminder about my routines, and there’s space to make notes and to-dos for each day. There’s also a general To Do list that I just keep running, and check things off as they get done.

 

 

[Corraleno]

I plan, but I don't schedule. So I have current "to do" lists, lists for long term projects, collections of links and resources for projects, etc. But none of it is attached to a time frame. 

How that looked with homeschooling was I'd "plan" in the sense of collecting materials and having a general idea of what I wanted to cover, but with a lot of flexibility in the details and timing. And we'd very very often go off on tangents — like once we found some really cute forelius ants that were "herding" wooly aphids in a tree, so we ended up spending a couple of weeks learning about all different kinds of ants, watching videos, reading books, doing experiments, drawing ant anatomy, etc. Another time the kids got into watching a barn owl "nest cam," so we dissected owl pellets, visited a raptor center, watched the BBC Life of Birds series, read books about birds, sketched birds at the zoo, etc. 

(Admittedly I didn't start out that way, I bought curriculum and "science kits" and the whole nine yards, and then one day it hit me that telling my kids we couldn't go off on a tangent studying something that they'd shown a sudden interest in, because the curriculum I bought was about something else, was really stupid.)

At home I tend to go through spurts where I get really motivated to tackle a certain project and then I go all in and keep going until it's done. Like one day I'll just decide I hate the color of the walls in a certain room and I'll move out all the furniture, buy 10 different paint samples, paint the whole room (sometimes more than once), get new bedding/curtains/rug, frame and hang a bunch of art, replace the lighting, clear out and reorganize the closet, etc. — everything all at once. And then once I have some momentum built up, I'll often start on another project. And then sometimes I just want to veg out and make soup and read books and pet my dog, while looking on Pinterest and Instagram and YouTube for more project ideas, making lists, collecting resources, etc. 

So basically I plan lots of things, but they get done when I'm interested and motivated to do them, and if that's not anytime soon I'm OK with that. And when I was homeschooling we mostly did what the kids were interested in, when they were interested, and if that didn't look anything like a typical course sequence, I was OK with that too.

[Clarita]

I set up a "school time" window, this is where we do school-ish things. Then my school plan is a list of things we could do during the week. We have appointments and other things as well which I try to schedule for after lunch (which is when our school time ends).

I mostly run on a routine loosely based on time.

[Not_a_Number]

I definitely have an actual timetable, but in practice, I wind up using it as a suggestion and not as requirements. (Except for schoolwork. I mostly do try to get the schoolwork done at the time in the schedule. Especially if it's something I take seriously.) 

[prairiewindmomma]

When I was homeschooling 4, and Dh traveled 90% of the time, I was rigid down to 15 minute blocks because I had to be.

These days, I have a rough list I work around and through. I am not scheduled except for kid activities and appointments. Honestly, my productivity is less, but so is my energy, so 🤷‍♀️

[wisdomandtreasures]

I have a daily to-do list but I don't assign times... Too strict and overwhelming. 

 

Edit - Okay, I do aim to be finished with school by lunch time, but I don't plan it out like "9:00-9:30 Math, 9:30-9:45 Piano practice", etc. 

Edited March 12, 2023 by wisdomandtreasures

[Scarlett]

When I was homeschooling my only I was very strict with my day.

Kids are grown, I work part time and I have much less rigid schedule.  But if I ever hope to get anything done beyond reading on here I have to have a to do list.  

[footballmom]

I can relate to the babysitting mom mentioned upthread. Typically, my days are hyper scheduled but not down to the minute like she had.  In fact, it is a point of frustration with friends - for example, my running partner who is single and only worries about themselves will sometimes text they are 10-15 minutes behind and that might mean I can’t make a run with them work that day.

I don’t love it, but I have a very demanding FT job and DH works full time with health issues layered in. I do the majority of kid stuff, housework and emotional labor. When I’m not working, the kids are the priority, the time with them goes too fast. 

[mommyoffive]

9 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I'm also a little ADHD-ish. I've always been pretty busy too and I like that. I don't do down time well. I have so much going on, I don't really schedule every minute though. I just pick what I need to do most and work on it. 

Right now I have so many balls in the air I don't know how much longer I can keep them there but I'm sure trying. When the twins turn two, I request a 3 month nap 🤣

I get up at 5:00 AM and try to get everything ready to take to DD's (anything I need for meal prep, etc), shower, walk my dogs, and leave at 6:00. 

I get to her house around 6:15 and assess where everyone is at. I either get DS in the direction of school if everyone is asleep or I jump in where needed with babies if we're in a feeding cycle so DSIL can go to work. I feed everyone breakfast and lunch when the time is right. I start some laundry when I get a chance. It is mostly a cycle of feeding babies, cleaning bottles and pump parts, holding fussy babies as needed, trying to keep DD fed and hydrated, and keeping her house clean. In the middle of all of this, I'm also still schooling one and I technically still have a part time job that I'm trying to keep up with. This takes way more time than one might imagine. I make dinner and have it ready around 6:00 and I make enough for all of us but portion off what we need and take it home. I'm home around 6:30 and we all eat. We clean the kitchen, walk dogs, and then I try to do what needs to be done in the garden now via flashlight. I usually start a load of clothes to start around 3 AM and be done for DH or me to dry and fold in the morning before work. A few nights I will go home and then go back to DD's around 10PM to help with the night time feedings so that DSIL can get some sleep (he has a long commute). I'm just doing this when he starts to seem worn down. Also, I'm doing all the grocery shopping for two households so there's that. (ETA)

I'm .... tired. That is all. So, yes, for now .... #justsurvive is about the motto. 

I am home today and DSIL is there and I have a bazillion things I need to do like clean my OWN house and be out in the garden but I am here because I'm tired and brainless and just need to sit a minute lol 

Wow, you are doing so much!  What an amazing help and support you are to dd's family. 

[SKL]

Well I like the idea of schedules, but I suck at following them.  Then I would just feel disgusted with my suckiness, which would lead to procrastination, which would lead to more suckiness and so on.

I tend to far underestimate the time it will take me to do things.  And I don't like to admit, in writing, how much time it takes me to rev up into productivity.  Once I get going, though, I'm a force to contend with.  😛  Until you interrupt me with life stuff.

I do have built-in structure in that my kids go to b&m school.  But their school hours don't coincide with my natural rhythms.  Unless I'm in crisis mode, I'm worthless in the morning.  I start being productive around 2pm, but then I have to break that up to do afternoon driving and spend some time with my kids.  My next productive time is after everyone else goes to bed.  But then when do I sleep?  It just doesn't work.

But it is what it is.

My day usually looks like this:

• 7-8:30am - efficient morning duties for kids, dog, house, self.
• 8:30-1:30 - alternate between daily electronic warm-ups, short personal tasks, and easing into client work.
•  1:30-3 - pretty productive
• 3-5 - driving and other kid tasks, often work conference calls
• 5-6 - last hour of my clients' work day; try to send stuff out
• 6-10 - attempt to focus on work but fail due to life's distractions
• 10pm - night pup duty & check in with the kids
• 10:30-1am - on the computer intending to work but probably putzing
• 1am - either:
  • get on a work roll and send stuff out until 3am+, or
  • slip off to bed, guiltily, and set alarms to get up early and work
    • only to hit snooze many times.

[Carrie12345]

Unmediated adhd here, but anxiety meds have reduced some of the discomfort aspects.

 I’m currently in survival mode with too much on my plate.

Previously, I had rigid routines sprinkled throughout my day/week rather than a timed schedule. That worked extremely well for me. I do NOT like to be told what to do and when to do it, even by myself, lol. But routines feel different to me. 

[LMD]

I like to think deeply and make a carefully scheduled routine.

Then I follow it strictly for about 2 weeks.

By then, I've trained myself in the rhythm enough, and my rebellious nature is starting to get rankled (you can't tell me what to do, me-of-the-past!) that we become much more relaxed and go with the flow. It helps that most of my kids are old enough to be responsible for a chunk of their school work & chores.

But our schedule is In.Sane. (dh works an 8 day week, with rotating day/night shifts, we drive 50-70+miles - one way - 3× a week, I run our homeschool group & I have a 4 month old baby) so I need a very precise mix of planning & flexibility & too-tired-to-care-right-now 😄 I don't know how we got so busy, I'm allergic to busy...

Edited March 12, 2023 by LMD

[Soror]

14 hours ago, Corraleno said:

At home I tend to go through spurts where I get really motivated to tackle a certain project and then I go all in and keep going until it's done. Like one day I'll just decide I hate the color of the walls in a certain room and I'll move out all the furniture, buy 10 different paint samples, paint the whole room (sometimes more than once), get new bedding/curtains/rug, frame and hang a bunch of art, replace the lighting, clear out and reorganize the closet, etc. — everything all at once. And then once I have some momentum built up, I'll often start on another project. And then sometimes I just want to veg out and make soup and read books and pet my dog, while looking on Pinterest and Instagram and YouTube for more project ideas, making lists, collecting resources, etc. 

I do the same with home projects. I have a list. I do them when I have time and I feel like it.

Day to day I have too much variation for an exact schedule. Mon- Thurs I take dd to school (for 4 more weeks after spring break this week). Before I take her to school I eat, do a few chores, and some sort of movement (lately has been PT or short, slow walk). 

After I drop her off then I might come home and start school with the girls or more likely I have PT or an errand or client visit. 

When I finally make it home we do school. We focus on things that require my help because my time is limited. (This might be an hour or up to 3 hours). I also do supper prep if I'm cooking that night. 

In the afternoon, I usually have more visits and pick up dd and any other errands that might need to be done. I'm usually home by 6 but sometimes there are later client visits or it is TKD day or dd has a later activity. 

Dinner is when we all get home or at least most of us. DS is rarely home he works at least 5 days a week in the evening. Dh commutes to college 3 days a week and then is hustling to get in hours so often he might be late.  AFter supper, it rotates who is cleaning up.

The girls have different daily tasks they do, as do I. We hit the deep cleaning tasks all at once together when we have time on the weekend. This week it was Friday morning. 

We finish school April 13th, we start at the beginning of July. AFter that I'll be switching things up again- by then I'll also be seeing my own clients and have more control over my schedule. Then we'll get into a different routine until all the kiddos start to school in August when everything changes again.

[mmasc]

@alysee and @Carrie12345

I’m very intrigued and interested in knowing more about the adhd angle of routine vs rigid schedule. You both mention that *routine* works well (and probably not *schedules* (or being told what to do and when). Can you please share with me how this might look for a school day for an adhd(ish) 14-year old? Like, what *routine* would work well vs what *schedule* probably wouldn’t work for you? I’d love your insight since you’ve figured out what works for you as an adult!