I feel so tired...

[Ginevra]

...of everything. I don’t know if it’s information overload, the weariness of the pandemic wearing me down, or just hormones, but I just feel like I’m just so tired of everything. So tired of stupidity in political “leaders,” but also, so tired of the endless, relentless stupid comments on (for example) my governor's page. I was trying to watch a live streamed briefing yesterday and I couldn’t see how to turn off comments and I just quit the stream after a while because I swear if I see one more person bitching about masks I might lose my bloody mind. 

Last month, I deleted the FB app from my devices, but then I put it back on because of my groups, including a new one about being an ally for racial justice. I have SO MANY people snoozed right now. I am considering unfollowing practically everybody but my dearest friends and family. I just can barely stand it if I see one more person forwarding a conspiracy theory or complaining about (something intelligent). 

I almost forgot to do an assignment for my class yesterday and had to cram it in the last few hours of the day. That was a brain fart that pretty much never happens to me. 

I think we’re going to the beach house this weekend; maybe that will help. 

[PrincessMommy]

I would definitely get rid of FB on your phone. At least try it for a week.  Is there really any need to have any new apps on?   I installed a new app 2 days ago and I'm already sick of the notifications and reminders... go away!   I'm' taking it off my phone.  But, I don't use my phone as my computer...so I can walk away.  FB has never been on my phone.  

KISS --- Keep is simple sister

I'm sick of the information overload too.  

[Joker]

I cut my FB down to 20 people and it’s so nice now. It upset some  but I just couldn’t take all the noise anymore. I wanted to keep up with my groups as well. 

I’ve also cut way down on the amount of time I spend on the news because it is just too much these days. Dh and I have started being deliberate about tuning it out. Since we’re all home all the time right now it was becoming too easy to spend time on it.

Edited July 30, 2020 by Joker

[happi duck]

(hugs)

I feel the same. 

[Pawz4me]

I think all of us, regardless of our leanings, are going to have to be intentional about protecting our mental/psychological/emotional health for the next few months. Probably well into next spring.

I hope your weekend at the beach restores you.

Edited July 30, 2020 by Pawz4me

[Wheres Toto]

((Hugs)) I definitely get it and agree 100%.    I've unfriended and unfollowed a bunch of people on Facebook but I have no choice but to be on there because of my business and 4-H groups.   

I'm not as weary as I was yesterday.  I sent out and published my handbook for the first time yesterday, with wording about face coverings (which are required by law here, so not sure what people expected) and got the responses you would expect if you follow any of the threads around here.   Not everyone of course, but more than I would have thought considering you see basically 100% compliance around here.  

[Laura Corin]

I go no-news on Sundays.  I buy a newspaper that day for the non-news sections but don't go online for news, avoid social media and only come to the boards for fun threads.  Having one day off really helps.

[marbel]

I agree with everyone else. I think everyone is exhausted now, for many reasons. I have two kids getting ready to return to campus next month... maybe. 

Are your FB groups really important right now? I don't have an FB app on my phone though I do use my phone to access it sometimes. I don't get notifications and just check in with once in a while. I belong to a couple of groups related to my kids' colleges so do like to keep up with those, but even much of those is nonsense.  

For me right now, all I can really focus on is my own family and work. Everything else is on hold.  

[Ali in OR]

I hear you. Yesterday was a hard day. Some days it all just hits me (yesterday we found out no athletics indefinitely for our high school senior). And another meeting with our school district superintendent which always gets me down (just the weight of all the job changes from normal to what we will have this year). Thankfully I only have 2 FB friends who post annoying stuff--one I snooze and the other posts enough cute dog and cat stuff to put up with the other. I would not hesitate to drop people who add to the burden instead of lightening it. Enjoy your weekend and your family, and I hope you find a place of balance where you feel more able to handle the burdens of this season.

[Katy]

Yep.  I thought my social media break after the last presidential election would likely be a one-time thing, but now I've decided it's not a priority.  It's much healthier to NOT engage, at least for me, and I have my feed pretty cleaned out.  The few people that are left are mostly people I'd take the time to call more often if I didn't have social media anyway.

[catz]

I personally need to watch for information load.  I can only do a small amount every day and I try to focus on reliable and reasonably center leaning sources and avoid user comments.  I get so irritated with myself when I get sucked into people being ridiculous.   

I have my FB feed very cleaned out. If I want to see a mess I go to Twitter and I only do that maybe a couple times a week.  It really is ok to protect your mental health and have boundaries.  Including unfriending/blocking/unfollowing/resetting accounts, etc.  I am reliant on FB mostly for private groups.  I post the occassional photo for my older relatives and at times for my own memory line and posterity.  But I rarely just scroll my feed anymore.  

[Guest]

21 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

I go no-news on Sundays.  I buy a newspaper that day for the non-news sections but don't go online for news, avoid social media and only come to the boards for fun threads.  Having one day off really helps.

That is a great idea. I’m going to try it. 

I deleted my FB apps. I’ll go on only from my computer for now. 

[Katy]

Even this forum gets exhausting.  Sometimes I have a hard time being civil and stopping myself from demanding someone go read a middle school logic textbook before posting one more nonsensical argument.

[Runningmom80]

I am 100% there with you. I did that with my FB page a while ago. I've tried to get rid of it but like you I have too many groups that I do benefit from to completely leave. I unfriended a lot of people and they got mad at me, but oh well. 

I also think life is exhausting right now. I was just telling my friend that will all of us home 24/7 there is so much more to clean. My 10 year olds need even more from me right now because life is difficult for them too. I'm cooking constantly with a 13 year old in the house. Add in the info overload and the exhaustion caused by both decision fatigue and the underlying hypervigilance we are all forced to live with, it's no wonder. 

I don't have any advice, just commiseration. 😴

Edited July 30, 2020 by Runningmom80

[ScoutTN]

I understand! Right there with you. 

I was never a big news consumer, but have reduced my intake. I do have a FB acct, but only to read on two pages that I need info from once a month or so, for 10 minutes. Focusing on immediate life and important (not just urgent) things. Keeping room in my life for things which are lovely and beautiful. Trying to make sure I listen to or read a good story every day. Music, poetry, exercise, nutrition, sleep. Trying to make sure I express love and care for others often. Gardening, petting my silly dog, and other small, but life-affirming things. 

I hope your trip is restful! We went to the beach recently and it was nice. Something about the sound of the ocean helps me to unwind almost instantly. 

[Jentrovert]

I am completely unaware of much of what is in the news, unless I happen to catch a thread here. I'm not exactly advocating for this, as I realize that it greatly limits one's knowledge of current events, but it sure makes a difference. Right now, I'm ok with the trade-off.

I ditched facebook a couple years ago and don't miss it at all. I was worried that I would miss my groups, but I don't. I've never been on Twitter.

Maybe do a complete break from social media for a set time period, and reduce the news?

Lately I've found myself a bit too sucked into reading this board. A few minutes here and there really add up. I try to avoid participating in anything remotely contentious, but man do I compose posts in my head! So I don't really avoid it, and I'd like to. I've considered several times not even reading Chat, but FOMO. If there was a separate board for product recommendations, I'd stick to that. Lol Probably soon I'll enforce a restriction on myself of reading once per week, on my computer. 

Wish I had better advice, but the only thing that's worked for me is cutting it out or greatly restricting. 

I hope you enjoy your trip!

[importswim]

I feel tired also. DH works for an airline and we've been waiting to hear the furlough news since the company took the CARES act money. We just found out that DH is senior enough to not be furloughed, but he will probably have to take a 40% pay cut. I'm vacillating back and forth with thankfulness that he has a job for right now and terror about how we're going to make financials work. Then I feel guilty because as of right now DH still has a job and that's a privilege not many have right now.

Unfortunately, we're the only people in our group of friends who are affected by this financially (most are either active/retired military or have very secure jobs) and so I'm feeling pretty alone. DH had just started making enough money where we could take a breather and cover our budget. The uncertainty is really hard. I'm usually pretty optimistic but I can't see a recovery for the airlines in the next 5 years and I'm convinced that DH's will be forced into bankrupcy and close up shop and we'll be out of a job anyway. Really hard to be going through when all of my friends just want to rant on FB about how having to wear masks is taking away our freedoms 🙄. I get on there mainly for DH's work groups to keep up with what's happening but I may have to get off altogether. 

I'm just so tired. I didn't realize how much I've been stressed and how much it's affected me. I don't usually exercise but I'm considering taking it up to give myself an outlet. Maybe replace fb/news/everything going on with a physical outlet...

Edited July 31, 2020 by importswim

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, importswim said:

I feel tired also. DH works for an airline and we've been waiting to hear the furlough news since the company took the CARES act money. We just found out that DH is senior enough to not be furloughed, but he will probably have to take a 40% pay cut. I'm vacillating back and forth with thankfulness that he has a job for right now and terror about how we're going to make financials work. Then I feel guilty because as of right now DH still has a job and that's a privilege not many have right now.

Unfortunately, we're the only people in our group of friends who are affected by this financially (most are either active/retired military or have very secure jobs) and so I'm feeling pretty alone. DH had just started making enough money where we could take a breather and cover our budget. The uncertainty is really hard. I'm usually pretty optimistic but I can't see a recovery for the airlines in the next 5 years and I'm convinced that DH's will be forced into bankrupcy and close up shop and we'll be out of a job anyway. Really hard to be going through when all of my friends just want to rant on FB about how having to wear masks is taking away our freedoms 🙄. I get on there mainly for DH's work groups to keep up with what's happening but I may have to get off altogether. 

I'm just so tired. I didn't realize how much I've been stressed and how much it's affected me. I don't usually exercise but I'm considering taking it up to give myself an outlet. Maybe replace fb/news/everything going on with a physical outlet...

I’m so sorry. That is very stressful, for sure. Your last paragraph - yes, that is exactly it. I just feel like I’ve been worn down. I’m going for a walk in the park tommorow, too. 

[EmilyGF]

I got rid of my smart phone when I was exhausted, depressed, and on the verge of a mental breakdown last fall. It was the best choice (for me). It makes me so happy to leave my house and not need to know anything about anyone for hours or a few days.

I just went camping and took my dumb phone. DS15 navigated with some free maps from back in the old days. We listened to CDs (no news) on the drive. It was absolutely lovely.

Emily

[Guest]

48 minutes ago, EmilyGF said:

I got rid of my smart phone when I was exhausted, depressed, and on the verge of a mental breakdown last fall. It was the best choice (for me). It makes me so happy to leave my house and not need to know anything about anyone for hours or a few days.

I just went camping and took my dumb phone. DS15 navigated with some free maps from back in the old days. We listened to CDs (no news) on the drive. It was absolutely lovely.

Emily

I can see the appeal. Maybe I’ll do that this weekend. I’ll take my phone but leave it in my suitcase, perhaps. And don’t bring my ipad at all. 

[happi duck]

My attention span has tanked during all this.

Have you ever had computer problems?  In life right now I feel like there's a program running in the background using up everything.

[Acadie]

I'm with you, Quill. I woke up exhausted this morning after what should've been plenty of sleep. But there's not enough sleep in the world to recover from how awful things are right now. 

Exercise, extra sleep, veggies and protein, limiting media and working for housing and voting rights in my city help somewhat.

Getting out the vote is the only thing I think will really make a difference long term.

Edited July 31, 2020 by Acadie

[PinkTulip]

I totally understand. Sigh. 

[importswim]

15 minutes ago, Acadie said:

I'm with you, Quill. I woke up exhausted this morning after what should've been plenty of sleep. But there's not enough sleep in the world to recover from how awful things are right now. 

Exercise, extra sleep, veggies and protein, limiting media and working for housing and voting rights in my city help somewhat.

Getting out the vote is the only thing I think will really make a difference long term.

This IS something I'm looking forward to. I just recently became a citizen and get to vote for the first time in these elections. 🙂 This will be my first time ever voting!

Maybe I'll make myself a list. I'll add the extra sleep, veggies and protein (and healthy fats), and limiting media to exercising. 

[Shoeless]

I unfriended and blocked a lot of people on facebook, and then unfollowed even more.  My stress level went waaaaaay down after that. I tried to deactivate my account, and my elderly relatives panicked and didn't understand why they couldn't find me on facebook anymore. 😞 I added it back to keep the peace, but I don't enjoy it anymore. 

I'm tired and I'm angry. I really want to move closer to my family and I have no idea how to make that happen in the middle of a pandemic. I feel really alone here. 

 

[Ausmumof3]

Yep.  I hope things get better.  All round everywhere.  

[BlsdMama]

I need that "care" button here.  Wanna just do coffee? 😉 

[Soror]

I gave up FB for Lent then only went back a little bit. I ended up unfollowing EVERYBODY and now only go on rarely to read some on groups.

I got tired of the whacky conspiracy theories (and totally inaccurate memes that no one fact checks because they want to be right), you can't be my friend if you xyz, and lumping everyone together if you believe this you believe that and don't care about this.

I greatly limit news and haven't been as deep on more serious threads here.

I've got to talk to like minded people more though. I need an outlet. Stupid hormones aren't helping my mood either.

[fairfarmhand]

So I stopped watching/reading much news. I check it out in the morning and then don't look at it the rest of the day. I figured that for my Grandmother, watching the news once a day was plenty. I don't have to have the minute by minute accounting. Also, I plug my phone in after supper and leave it till morning. The end. No facebook here, just instagram. 

[lynn]

Me too.   Masks help, masks dont.  Can't have the kids in school,  but will start after first 9 weeks, kids need to go back,  we need mail in ballots but you can handle going into walmart, this RX works but let's not get that info out.  I stopped reading ,opening and all conversations.  It's wearing me out.    

Now the decision let my dd  do the online real time school or homeschool so we can go the the beach and get away for a while then go back when people come to their senses and open schools back up.  I can't give her the theatre class of the advanced biology electives or ROTC  she has been looking forward to.

 

[Guest]

I think part of what bothers me is not necessarily FOMO, but rather FOMI - Fear of Missing Information. I am intensely, single-mindedly interested in information. I worry that reducing my presence on SM or reducing my news consumption will leave me unaware of information I really want to know.

It’s true Grandma just watched the news once a day but it was fairly objective and unbiased news. One didn’t have to fact-check everything they heard or read. Even just that must have been much less exhausting. 

[Ausmumof3]

15 minutes ago, Quill said:

I think part of what bothers me is not necessarily FOMO, but rather FOMI - Fear of Missing Information. I am intensely, single-mindedly interested in information. I worry that reducing my presence on SM or reducing my news consumption will leave me unaware of information I really want to know.

It’s true Grandma just watched the news once a day but it was fairly objective and unbiased news. One didn’t have to fact-check everything they heard or read. Even just that must have been much less exhausting. 

Yep... out for half a day and come home to being told to reconsider travelling to Queensland ... too much happens too fast.

[MercyA]

I was so distracted and upset about stupidity yesterday that I drove away from a gas pump without unhooking the nozzle from my car first. 😬 I don't think I've ever done that before.

Right there with you. 

I am convinced the best thing to do right now is show love to the people right in front of us.

[Acadie]

9 hours ago, importswim said:

This IS something I'm looking forward to. I just recently became a citizen and get to vote for the first time in these elections. 🙂 This will be my first time ever voting!

 

Congratulations--this is so exciting!

Dd17 turns 18 at the end of August and has already requested her mail-in ballot for November. First-time voters with enthusiasm for the democratic process give me hope.  

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

I don’t think that’s as true as we would like it to be.  But of course Grandma didn’t have so many options fact checking.   Or fact checking the fact checkers.  

From what I have read and seen in several different articles, the news is now filled with loaded words and an opinion than it was several decades in the past. The people are also far more divided into their own camps as well. I am not blaming a particular news outlet; it is true for the majority of print or visual news.

The words that are chosen for reporting a story illustrate this. A friend of mine called people  who were protesting for re-opening “patriots,” but called the racial justice protestors “rioters.” And to be even on both sides, I just watched a left-leaning news anchor mock the President for talking about moving the election. 

Also, though I grant you this is purely anecdotal, I don’t remember a single Sunday dinner at grandma’s house where my aunts, uncles and grandparents got het up over politics. People didn’t do that in the past; I think the WWW has changed that. 

[mom2scouts]

I've always been a bit of a news junkie and I find myself checking news sites and Facebook too often and then feeling stressed. Like many here, I went and unfollowed all the people on Facebook who post masks/no masks debates, conspiracy theories, and political stuff. I only kept people who generally post positive or personal things. I kept the groups, but the homeshool groups are overrun with crisis schoolers asking the same questions over and over and over, so I may need to unfollow them for awhile too. I would love to delete Facebook, but I do find some value in it and keep finding myself logging in for information about something. I have FB on my phone, but my phone sits on the counter most of the day unless I'm making or receiving a phone call or text.

The number of typing errors I've had to correct in this post shows just how unfocused I am.  My SIL has a place at the beach and she keeps telling us we're welcome to visit anytime. We're homeschooling and it looks like DS's dual enrollment classes are going to be online only, so if we feel comfortable traveling that far by car, we may take her up on the offer.

[marbel]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

I think part of what bothers me is not necessarily FOMO, but rather FOMI - Fear of Missing Information. I am intensely, single-mindedly interested in information. I worry that reducing my presence on SM or reducing my news consumption will leave me unaware of information I really want to know.

It’s true Grandma just watched the news once a day but it was fairly objective and unbiased news. One didn’t have to fact-check everything they heard or read. Even just that must have been much less exhausting. 

If you really have a need to know stuff, how about figuring out the topics you  really need to have in-depth knowledge about, and stick to those? 

This is just an example and I don't assume it applies to you at all. I belong to a parent facebook group for my kids' schools, specific to the school. There are a few parents in one of the groups that constantly posts links to articles about what other colleges are doing this fall: online, in-person, dorms open/closed. it drives me insane. Who cares what other schools are doing? I want to focus on the schools my kids go to. So I don't read those posts (often they get taken down anyway because they are irrelevant to the group).  I am focused on the information I need. 

I'd also think about why you need to know. Again, an example and not saying this is you: I have a relative who spends hours on SM trying to educate people on various political topics. This person feels an intense need to know this stuff so she can argue/debunk/educate. But it does no good. Articulate and correct as she may be, it's an exercise in frustration. 

But I'll admit I don't follow things all that closely. I know there are things I'm never going to be able to figure out. Just choosing thermometers for my kids to take to school with them was exhausting. I'm OK with just not knowing everything there is to know. So, we are just different in that way.

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by marbel

[fairfarmhand]

John Eldredge said that our souls are village sized, so I am using that info to try to focus on my world. Doesn't mean that I ignore the world at large, but I first focus on my local stuff, then statewide and then I take a peek at national and international stuff. YMMV

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I'm in the "I'm Weary Camp" also. Between Information overload, disinfection protocols for two essential workers (I am so tired of washing lunch boxes, disinfecting shoes, cleaning cars, etc), trying to determine if my spike in temps/sweatiness is COVID or a hotflash from perimenopause, worrying about my new DGD and my DD being exposed...honestly, there is so much to fret over. Then I also have stress from job loss and loss of income and the kitchen remodel that began in March and will now not be completed until the end of August. I attempt to find ways to stay positive and upbeat - daily walks, tennis with the ball machine, reading, yardwork - but some days I just want to sit and cry.

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by The Accidental Coach

[Zebra]

Me too, I am exhausted.

I read an article from The Atlantic and one of the points I got out of it was all this "hygiene theater" is giving us "pandemic fatigue".    And it's something I have been saying for awhile.  For example, employees are spraying down every single grocery cart, when we all know it's a waste of time because surface spread really isn't the problem.   But the "theater" of it makes us all feel better, just like all the stuff TSA does at the airports.  Instead our precious effort should be put into more worthwhile things like masks or distancing or whatever, not uselessly spraying down every grocery cart when people should be washing their hands after grocery shopping anyway.    

Another thing I was reading about yesterday (in a book about self care) was the concept of "radical acceptance".   For me personally it's being irritated because X candidate shouldn't win X election, or someone is wearing underwear for a mask, and realizing at a certain point I just have to accept these things.   And not waste any more time ruminating or getting irritated.   You do what you can and accept the situation and move on.

These were 2 big concepts that came to me yesterday, and I think a lot of other people have touched on similar ideas as well.

[freesia]

33 minutes ago, Quill said:

From what I have read and seen in several different articles, the news is now filled with loaded words and an opinion than it was several decades in the past. The people are also far more divided into their own camps as well. I am not blaming a particular news outlet; it is true for the majority of print or visual news.

The words that are chosen for reporting a story illustrate this. A friend of mine called people  who were protesting for re-opening “patriots,” but called the racial justice protestors “rioters.” And to be even on both sides, I just watched a left-leaning news anchor mock the President for talking about moving the election. 

Also, though I grant you this is purely anecdotal, I don’t remember a single Sunday dinner at grandma’s house where my aunts, uncles and grandparents got het up over politics. People didn’t do that in the past; I think the WWW has changed that. 

That may just be your family. They political arguments with my mom’s family in the 70’s and 80’s were epic. 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I kept saying I was going to reduce my news consumption but I was never successful at doing so.  Then I decided to help my willpower, and blocked Facebook, Twitter, and all my favorite newspapers on my phone.  Immediate difference in my stress levels.  I also added some new apps so I would have something else to do on my phone when I want a distraction. (Come join me on Redecor!)

I now rely on email newsletters from my local newspaper, the NYTimes and WaPost for my news.  I still see almost everything, but it’s just once a day.  I think cutting out social media also reduced my exposure to people anguishing about the news, which made me anguish too.  Less doom and gloom now. 

[saraha]

12 hours ago, happi duck said:

My attention span has tanked during all this.

Have you ever had computer problems?  In life right now I feel like there's a program running in the background using up everything.

This! I started a thread out of desperation the other day about lethargy in my house. I couldn't find a good way to describe what was happening. This is what I/we feel like.

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Oh, certainly there are plenty of news stories out now with loaded words, and eleventy billion opinion pieces that masquerade as news.  But I think of things like how much information was suppressed during world war 2, how Hearst would print outright lies, etc etc, and I thing the issue of how much the news is loaded/biased/etc is more about the sheer number of sources.

Yes, that is a good point. 

[importswim]

9 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:

Just so you know...this is not just you.  

This is a sort of "syndrome" or "thing" that is happening to many, many people.  Our lives have been disrupted.  And when people express the impact of the disorientation, fatigue, depression, brain-fog, and so on, .... well, a lot of times people get shouted at, told to "deal" and ... more.  But the feelings you have are normal in this time.  

This in some ways is comforting, and in other ways is not. I'm sad that others are feeling the same way, but it's nice to not feel alone in a greater sense.

I will say in my friend group, like you said, this "you're not alone" thing is being used to downplay and gloss over my fears/feelings about everything. Very real fears about job insecurity and financials. My friends will reply with "it's affecting everyone" , without acknowledgement of the fact that there are different levels of how it affects people. Yep, sure, it affects everyone, but please just acknowledge my feelings and don't be blind to the fact that it affects some more than others! Compassion goes a long way. Of course, this is what I'd like to say to my friends but they're so blind to everything it doesn't do any good (I've gently tried but they just don't get it).

In the same vein, I try to remember that there are SO many people in a worse off position than we are. That's actually what makes me feel even more sad (then I feel guilty for being sad about our own situation! Sick cycle). 

Edited July 31, 2020 by importswim
spelling

[Scarlett]

I am so sorry for those of you suffering job loss or the threat of job loss.  I worry myself sick about dh losing his job.  Oddly enough, his company has already surpassed last years numbers and they are expanding....I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. And due to the pandemic, the lady I did job share with decided she can't risk continuing to work....so now i am working full time.  I am glad to have a job and I have no intention of quitting it any time soon due to the uncertainty of everything, but I never wanted to work full time and I am struggling with balancing everything.  

I miss seeing my friends in person.  I miss worshiping in person, singing with more than just my dh and dss.  Yet I am very thankful for the leadership that is keeping us safe and for the provision of Zoom.

My social media is pretty clean, I only have one friend who is out there with the conspiracy theories.  I mostly ignore what she sends, but I pushed back a little the other night, along the line of 'this doesn't make sense'.  We texted for a good while.  It ended amicably, and my hope is she will at the very least stop sending me stuff. 

@Quill I am an information junkie too.  I just have to know.  I wish I could stop being that way, and someone up thread had some good ideas for controlling it that intend to try.