Spryte Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I have spent the evening on the phone with suicide prevention for someone I love. We have agreed that she is stable, and that we will go to the ER in the morning. The local clinician who does assessments was on the phone with us, and said to go through the ER in the am, as long as she is safe tonight. Clinician said they will assess and determine if in-patient is the way to go there. So, can someone walk me through this? What happens at the ER? I’m petrified, and my heart aches. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegs Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I'm also in Australia, with nothing to add to Stella's advice. All the best to you and your loved one. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I am an American who is up in the middle of the night with you but unfortunately I don't know anything about psych services in the ER. I am just posting to let you know there is someone else awake and hoping for the best for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Many (hugs) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockhopper Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 (edited) Incredibly horrific, in my experience. But I think an ER visit is the standard route to inpatient care. Especially if you are in a poorly served county or state or an understaffed hospital. And if you are dealing with a juvenile or an elderly person. In our case, we brought the person in to the ER already dehydrated and not eating. The ER was full so there was a long wait on a gurney in the hallway for initial evaluation. Then more hallway waiting for psych eval. Then an more hallway waiting for a ER psych room, which opened about 12-14 hours after arrival. A psych ER room is a shell, no way to turn off/dim the lights, no TV, locked door. If you are sitting with a loved one, you are highly restricted in what you can have with you (i.e. no phone charger). You have to flag someone down to get in and out. If at all possible it would be better to have someone in the room with the patient and someone outside to advocate. For (safety concerns) /edit: I just remembered, the patient was conscious and therefore had to give consent and wouldn't/, the hospital wouldn't start an IV for fluids and the person continued to refuse to drink. Staffing quit offering after a few hours and quit monitoring vitals a few hours later. I'm pretty sure without family member presence, patient might have just been left alone until dead. About 30 hours after arrival, a bed opened at a facility about 3 hours away. After the ambulance arrived (a couple of hours later), the patient was transported. A family member rode along in the ambulance and I followed in another vehicle. Admittance to that facility happened at about 2 a.m. and then we went to find a place to stay for the night. I'm sorry if this sounds brutal and scary. It was, and I hope no one else's experience is ever as bad. But I wish I would've had even a tiny inkling that it could go this way when we headed to the ER that morning. Lessons learned: avoid weekend admit if at all possible (less staff, social workers, etc to work on placement). Better (far better) if there's already a relationship with a psychiatrist. Bring comfort items for yourself for a potentially long stay. Bring things to do. I translated every Spanish hospital brochure I found into English just to keep myself sane while waiting. Be prepared to advocate like you never imagined you'd have to and realize that despite that you might have very few options and very little control. I'm sorry you're in this position. Edited October 31, 2018 by Rockhopper Correction 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 (edited) Going through the er will get her a spot in an inpatient facility a lot faster, if they determine that is necessary, than if were she to try on her own. The mental health hospital in this area has its own “er” available during the daytime that you can walk into. If that is available, maybe go there instead of the regular er. Good luck to your friend. Edited October 31, 2018 by school17777 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Here you walk in and tell them you are there for mental health issues. When dd tried to kill herself we were taken right to the place in the ER they have for monitoring. Have your friend wear comfy clothes, bring a book and snacks, you might be there awhile. If you go in the morning as you are planning, someone from psych will come in and assess and then, depending on what comes out during that, you wait for a bed in an inpatient hospital. Could be days. They are then transported by ambulance to wherever they found a bed. While at ER we were allowed to charge cell phones in the hallway, you can't have your charger in there. Anything not allowed is locked up for the patient. After the 1st time we learned to bring comfort items, pillow, stuffed animal, etc. We also brought charged laptop to watch movies. Also bring protein bars or whatever for you. The hospital will bring meals for your friend but not you. You can stay with your friend right up until transport. Ambulance to facility is not optional. Oh and your friend can ask for anxiety meds as well while there. They may offer them right off the bat. It is scary. I am sorry your friend is going through this. To pack for inpatient, there are usually restrictions. Nothing with any kind of tie, we had to remove the strings from hoodies, sweatpants, shoes etc. Cell phone will not be allowed or anything that can go online or take photos. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Spryte, I am praying for you and your loved one. I'm glad you are there for her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 No advice, but thinking of you. I'm sorry you and your loved one are going through this. I hope you find help and compassion at the ER. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Sending hugs and prayers........... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I think the ER experience is very different depending on where you are in the country (or which country). Hugs and prayers for you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I want to add that I once had a friend who took herself to the ER for mental issues, and while it wasn’t a wonderful experience, it wasn’t nearly as bad as some mentioned above. Hoping that things work out well for you and your friend. (((hugs))) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Thanks, all. I’m waiting on her to shower and we will go. She’s a late sleeper these days, This is hard, It’s my mom. ? 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Spryte, I’m so sorry. It never even occurred to me that it could be your mom. ? Thank goodness you are there for her. Sending you lots of hugs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 (edited) I've had a family member go through the ER to inpatient mental health twice. You take them in, say you want them assessed, they do an assessment, they find them a bed in the inpatient mental health unit. (it's a locked unit.) eta: it was my mom too. she had a mental illness, not suicidal. Edited October 31, 2018 by gardenmom5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I’m so sorry. Praying for you both. Hope the ER makes it as easy as possible for you to handle an already excruciatingly difficult situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Praying for you both. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 (praying) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I'm so sorry Sprite. I hope she can get help so she can feel better. ((((hugs for sprite and mommasprite) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 (edited) I went with someone I know well who seemed to be having a psychotic episode to the ER on the weekend, and they ran an MRI and discharged them. The doctor refused to order a psych eval. At that time the person was not suicidal, so the doctor just brushed it off. Then the individual saw an internist, and he just diagnosed depression. A few days later they had a suicide attempt that they barely survived. As far as I know, there were no warnings other than what led to the ER visit. After the dust settled, a therapist told me that ER and internal medicine docs are notorious for not properly handling psychiatric issues. Hopefully your experience will be different. I know that ER's ramp up faster for threats of suicide, but just to warn you that it can be hit-or-miss. Edited October 31, 2018 by G5052 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Thanks, all. We have been here for 5 and a half hours. She’s being admitted, we are just waiting on a room. Everyone has been very kind here. 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 5 minutes ago, Spryte said: Thanks, all. We have been here for 5 and a half hours. She’s being admitted, we are just waiting on a room. Everyone has been very kind here. Glad you are getting the help you need. Not knowing her history, esp if she is a bit older, have them do a cbc, urinalysis and check her Vit B level. In older people those can all trigger or mimic psychiatric sypmptoms. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 1 minute ago, Ottakee said: Glad you are getting the help you need. Not knowing her history, esp if she is a bit older, have them do a cbc, urinalysis and check her Vit B level. In older people those can all trigger or mimic psychiatric sypmptoms. They did the urinalysis and CBC. Neuro checked her B levels two weeks ago. All good. I’m open to any more leads, if you can think of anything. My Mom’s recent story is quite ...unusual and disturbing... so the initial intake therapist is thinking PTSD is at play, too. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Hugs! Prayers and good thoughts for you and your mom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Don't know the history or backstory at all, but just in case it may be relevant, my father, while in rehab after a lengthy hospital stay for open heart surgery that went bad, ended up suddenly suicidal. This was very out of character for him. It ended up being a medication combo. I don't remember the medications involved (we are going back quite a few years), but they did write his case up in a medical journal. It was very scary!! Sending prayers to you and your mom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Check any meds and med reactions. Even if the same med, did they go from name brand to generic, or from one generic maker to another generic? For some people, that can trigger issues. Is she menopausal age? If this is a sudden thing with no history of mental health issues, etc. they might want to do an MRI/CT for brain tumor. Not to scare you but those along with seizures can cause big changes in mental health. Other things to check is blood sugar and thyroid. I might be all wrong but those things complicated issues for one of my dds. Not the sole cause at all, but complicated it. Any recent history of a fall ( possible head injury?) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 41 minutes ago, G5052 said: I went with someone I know well who seemed to be having a psychotic episode to the ER on the weekend, and they ran an MRI and discharged them. The doctor refused to order a psych eval. At that time the person was not suicidal, so the doctor just brushed it off. Then the individual saw an internist, and he just diagnosed depression. A few days later they had a suicide attempt that they barely survived. As far as I know, there were no warnings other than what led to the ER visit. After the dust settled, a therapist told me that ER and internal medicine docs are notorious for not properly handling psychiatric issues. Hopefully your experience will be different. I know that ER's ramp up faster for threats of suicide, but just to warn you that it can be hit-or-miss. Even psychiatrists can be hit or miss. My friend's dd was suicidal and barely functional and just told she was depressed for two years. Eventually, she was taken to a hospital, and examined by another dr. She had a massive brain tumor. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockhopper Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Spryte, I read your post in the middle of the night last night, and responded at about 3 a.m. It was pretty raw -- it's the first time I've ever written any of that out -- and I'm sure it was not easy for you to read in the midst of the crisis. I'm very sorry if I caused any pain, but I also know for me one of the worst parts was assuming that everyone would be both willing and able to help us, and the fact that the reality was so very different was a trauma in itself, on top of the obvious trauma occurring that brought us to the ER in the first place. My situation had a lot of similarities to your current situation. Please feel free to message me if you'd like more info or a BTDT ear. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (((((Spryte))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) Another big thank you. She is there. The security guard who took her up, with the nurse, let me walk her to the elevator, and so I got to see her go that far. Now she’s on her own till visiting hours tomorrow night. I saw some panic in her eyes when they said I can’t visit till tomorrow evening. She was hoping to come home tomorrow, I think. I arrived home for the last of the trick or treaters, and now it’s quiet, and all I can think about is ... “Is she sleeping? She has so much trouble sleeping. Is she ok?” It’s awful. I closed the door to her room tonight, but I’ll give it a good cleaning tomorrow and change the sheets. Thanks for the support, and I will respond and/or message tomorrow. Tonight I’m going to just breathe. This isn’t supposed to happen to our Moms, definitely not at 77 yo. Edited November 1, 2018 by Spryte 14 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Hugs and I’m so sorry this is happening. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (((hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (((Spryte))) and (((Spryte’s mom))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Sending you much love, Spryte. If it helps, I have been in an inpatient psych unit several times. It was always the right thing to do. Please know that you did the right thing for her, too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Praying for you and your mom. ((( ))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Thinking of you two. I hope she is doing well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Hoping and praying your mom gets the help she needs Spryte. I am sorry they wouldn't let you stay with her at the ER. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Praying for you and your mom this morning. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Do you have a mental health hospital near you? I always tell the parents of my students that they should start there. Chances are, if they go to a closer ER, they will be sent to the mental health facility anyway, and it is a waste of time to have to go to 2 places and additional time and money. Here the hospital is called (name of facility) with the the words Behavioral Health, you may have a similar place near you? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Spryte, I know what that's like. When the person I posted about earlier got out of ICU and step-down, they sent them to the behavioral unit. It was a very difficult goodbye with a security guard present. The one mine went to seemed to be very well-run, and they did a good job. Sadly progress made there was only temporary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Just checking in on you, Spryte, to see how you’re doing today. It must be so hard to wait until tonight to see your mom. You must be so worried about her. Hopefully, she’s getting excellent care and everyone at the hospital is being extra nice to her. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, Catwoman said: Just checking in on you, Spryte, to see how you’re doing today. It must be so hard to wait until tonight to see your mom. You must be so worried about her. Hopefully, she’s getting excellent care and everyone at the hospital is being extra nice to her. Thanks. I’m mostly just very, very tired. And nervous for her. i do have a question, for anyone who may know: my mother has moved in with my family, about 4 mos ago, and we have found that she cannot keep track of her own medications. She also forgets a lot. She’s an adult, so no one has to be included in her treatment plan, but if she requests it, will the docs talk to me and tell me anything I need to know? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Sending hugs! My mom was able to set it up so I received her doctor’s notes from each visit via email. They just came automatically. That was because I was so far away but interested. Lab reports etc came too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 {{Spryte}} Praying for you and your mom. I would definitely let the doc know that she hasn't been able to manage her own health care and ask what they suggest. If you get a change when you visit your mom, you can ask if she can sign any papers. Do you have a health care POA? We had one for my mom so that I was able to be involved in her care without her explicitly saying so each time. 4 hours ago, DawnM said: Do you have a mental health hospital near you? I always tell the parents of my students that they should start there. Chances are, if they go to a closer ER, they will be sent to the mental health facility anyway, and it is a waste of time to have to go to 2 places and additional time and money. Here the hospital is called (name of facility) with the the words Behavioral Health, you may have a similar place near you? This is what we found out when we had to take K to the ER. They were kind enough to tell us that we would get faster service from the Behavioral Health ER just a few blocks away as they had to wait for a doc from there anyway. I was pleased that the ER never charged us. The Behavioral health ER was a much better experience. More private and more attentive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Many (hugs) I had healthcare power of attorney for my sister and she had me listed on all her charts as someone that she approved for doctors to talk to. Both were important ime. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 6 hours ago, DawnM said: Do you have a mental health hospital near you? I always tell the parents of my students that they should start there. Chances are, if they go to a closer ER, they will be sent to the mental health facility anyway, and it is a waste of time to have to go to 2 places and additional time and money. Here the hospital is called (name of facility) with the the words Behavioral Health, you may have a similar place near you? We unfortunately had much worse experiences with the mental health hospital. The closest one to us is run by a for-profit and serves more as a sort of warehouse instead of giving mental health care. I credit the local hospital with just a small psych ward (10 or so beds for adolescents) with saving my DD's life. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 2 hours ago, Spryte said: Thanks. I’m mostly just very, very tired. And nervous for her. i do have a question, for anyone who may know: my mother has moved in with my family, about 4 mos ago, and we have found that she cannot keep track of her own medications. She also forgets a lot. She’s an adult, so no one has to be included in her treatment plan, but if she requests it, will the docs talk to me and tell me anything I need to know? If she signs a HIPPA form they will talk to you. I would also talk to the hospital medical social worker about getting medical POA, etc asap. It could be your mother's current issues are med related.....either not taking them, taking them too much, or in wrong combos. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 I do have medical POA, but it specifies that it goes into effect if she is deemed incapable of making decisions. I’m not sure we’re at that point yet, as she voluntarily checked in. Hopefully I will talk to someone today. I’ve spoken with a nurse, who was nice but not very helpful. And I left a message for the social worker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 4 minutes ago, Spryte said: I do have medical POA, but it specifies that it goes into effect if she is deemed incapable of making decisions. I’m not sure we’re at that point yet, as she voluntarily checked in. Hopefully I will talk to someone today. I’ve spoken with a nurse, who was nice but not very helpful. And I left a message for the social worker. We just had them sign HIPPAA releases and I was brought into all treatment discussions—especially re: what follow up plans there were + med discussions. After the HIPPAA is signed, it will be helpful to disclose privately to the providers that she cannot keep track of meds herself and that as part of that she is living with you. Fwiw, suicide rates in the elderly are quite high. I am not sure why it’s so discussed in society generally with re: to youth and completely ignored as the epidemic among the old. I am glad she came to you; I have a relative that committed suicide in his 70s. I know many others have dealt with this also...mental health issues with re: to the elderly after often quite significant and prevalent but they feel such shame about it that they are hesitant to discuss it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: We just had them sign HIPPAA releases and I was brought into all treatment discussions—especially re: what follow up plans there were + med discussions. After the HIPPAA is signed, it will be helpful to disclose privately to the providers that she cannot keep track of meds herself and that as part of that she is living with you. Fwiw, suicide rates in the elderly are quite high. I am not sure why it’s so discussed in society generally with re: to youth and completely ignored as the epidemic among the old. I am glad she came to you; I have a relative that committed suicide in his 70s. I know many others have dealt with this also...mental health issues with re: to the elderly after often quite significant and prevalent but they feel such shame about it that they are hesitant to discuss it. I wanted to add my 2 bits that the doctors need those HIPPAA releases to disclose to family members, etc. about the patient, but you as a friend/family member do NOT need a HIPPAA release to share important information about the patient with the doctor! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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