What are the silliest comments that you have received regarding homeschooling?

[mom2scouts]

I was told that my kids were going to turn out to be weird.

 

:lol: My public schooled kids turned out weird too. We decided it's a family trait and just accept it.

[Dmmetler]

FWIW, I had to pass a Texas History exam to get my TX teaching license. I was a grad student at the time.

[slackermom]

I guess now I know why my father (who lives in west Texas) sent us all that Texas history material!

DD definitely knows more about Texas history than most other New England kids.

[luuknam]

I went to college in Texas and this was one of the weirdest things for me.  Even our college history had this Texas emphasis and "you guys remember this from high school" was said A LOT.  I lived my whole life in New Jersey.  We learned a little bit about Texas in the course of US History but it sure wasn't emphasized very much.  We also didn't spend an entire year on "New Jersey History".  We just learned about it as it came up in US History. 

 

Yep, I'm from NL, I learned* more about Texas history in my one semester taking a US History I class at a CC in Corpus Christi than I learned about Dutch history in all of high school (maybe all of secondary school, which runs grades 7-12).

 

*and promptly forgot. Not enough pegs to hang all of it on, I think.

Edited October 6, 2016 by luuknam

[AmandaVT]

When my kids were elementary school age, I have people commenting that I should use the public school as "free childcare" and get a part time morning job. Here the wage is good because of the cost of living, if you can get a job.

 

 

My district gets $5,600 per K-8 child in school from property tax a few years ago so that is partially true. I have not check what is current figure per student. The school superintendent did complain in a newsletter that the district lost $156k to charter schools as reimbursement for teaching my school district kids.

 

Both homeschoolers' parents and private schools kids' parents are equally slammed as selfish by some public school moms for wanting better for their kids.

 

Interestingly, he didn't mean tax money or any kind of financial type of resource. His main complaint is that if all of the (in his words) wealthier and more engaged parents either homeschool or send their kids to private school, the public schools will be worse off. His city has a really bad public school system (schools have been unaccredited multiple times because of how bad they are) and he insists that the only way they'll improve is if no one sent their kids to private school or homeschooled. 

[Guest]

The car pick up line at public schools is proof that public school does not teach how to stand in line.

Indeed. Car line is its only little microcosm of inefficiency.

[LucyStoner]

"I think he's smart enough to go to regular school."

[RootAnn]

"But what about prom?"

 

Had a neighbor I thought was a friend who always talked about how friendly my kids were. Then, she was talking about a friend of mine pulling her kids from school and basically said they were poor kids because they would never have any friends. She added the prom line at the end. I realized then that we weren't really friends.

[DesertBlossom]

Interestingly, he didn't mean tax money or any kind of financial type of resource. His main complaint is that if all of the (in his words) wealthier and more engaged parents either homeschool or send their kids to private school, the public schools will be worse off. His city has a really bad public school system (schools have been unaccredited multiple times because of how bad they are) and he insists that the only way they'll improve is if no one sent their kids to private school or homeschooled.

I had a public school teacher argue nearly that same point. He grew up in an inner-city school district and was adamant that it was the wealthier white kids leaving the district that contributed to the decline of the inner-city schools. I was too shocked by everything wrong with his opinion to argue. Ironic though that he moved his family to a brand new very white suburb.

[busymama7]

Yes, this was the weirdest one I got, too! And it was followed by, "...or to sit and listen??" like they currently were incapable of the most mundane human tasks. lol

Ok actually, this one is a problem based on my many years of interacting with the local homeschool community. In fact, my children were incapable of it and is one reason we formed a coop with actual classes and such. It is not infrequent that when new families join their kids actually can not sit and listen respectfully. It is a skill that must be worked on and enforced and there are some homeschoolers that do not want their kids to learn this skill apparently. 😒

Edited October 6, 2016 by busymama7

[rebcoola]

My husband was accused of trying to make our girls into some sort of super humans... It was very weird.  I've never really got more than a funny look but we have a huge home school community here.

[Julie Smith]

When my kids where really young, before school age. My husbands friend when told asked if we where concerned with them going postal. He was afraid that if they were forced to go to the library often they might suddenly crack and try to shoot up the library.

[Guest]

"I think he's smart enough to go to regular school."

 

I think this has to be my all time favorite. 

[ElizabethB]

A neighbor told my daughter that I would not be able to teach her to read since I was not a trained teacher....my daughter was 4 at the time and ironically already reading better than most first graders, LOL. We were moving in a few months anyway and I rarely saw them or I would have started unleashing stories about the hundreds of kids I taught to read whose teachers were not able to teach them to read...

 

One a positive note, another neighbor in another state once stated that my kids were way more socialized than his kids, he said it after I told him we were happy his daughter was able to play again after the grind of yearly test prep where she could not play most nights. (Our kids were always running back and forth to play with homeschool neighbor kids down the street.) It was really sad, actually, his daughter was 4th grade and studying until bedtime every night for months, 4th grade was a big test year in that state.

[Artichoke]

I was told that my teen wouldn't have zits because he'd wash his face better if he were in school.   AARGH!

[HomeschoolingHearts&Minds]

I was railed at by a close family friend that I am doing my kids a disservice, because they would not have "street smarts."  Then she proceeded to explain about what she meant by "street smarts."  The example she used was of her grandson's girlfriend calling him up to say that she hadn't got her period and so she must be prego.  But the day was saved!  Because her other grandson (1st grandson's older brother) asked him if he's used a condom.  Well, yeah. Well, then she can't possibly be pregnant by you.

 

They do know the failure rate of condoms, right? Street smarts.   :lol:

 

Never mind that it was his sibling and not his peers that instilled him with these elusive "smarts."

Edited October 6, 2016 by HomeschoolingHearts&Minds

[bolt.]

A person who didn't know why I was considering pros and cons of various curricula when, clearly, the best way to be sure to cover "everything" would be to order copies of the current local PS textbooks and work through them cover-to-cover.

 

No wonder they just aren't seeing why I think homeschooling is a better option! Can you imagine how horrible that would be as a learning experience?

[PrairieSong]

"I could never homeschool. I couldn't teach them English, not even first grade English." I had no answer for that one except a snarky one, so I kept quiet.

[Guest]

"You should really think about what's best for them, not just what you want."

Now that's funny! Especially now that I'm in this quite far and...ummm...it's not always just what I want.

[maize]

I was told that my teen wouldn't have zits because he'd wash his face better if he were in school. AARGH!

Because no child in public school is ever afflicted with zits...

[Tap]

One comment was from a young 20yo cashier who didn't know we home schooled. She was talking to a customer ahead of me about home schoolers and then the conversation bled over to my turn at the cashier. She said that all the home schoolers she knew were weird and lacked manners.  I asked her if she knew any normal ones and she said she didn't.   My very polite kids were late elementary/middle school aged, so they obviously understood the conversation and just stood there in disbelief as she rambled on.

 

She was quite embarrassed when i pointed out that the kids standing in front of her were home schooled. I also mentioned that she should keep her unprofessional and derogatory comments to herself when she was at work. 

[Julie Smith]

When my kids where really young, before school age. My husbands friend when told asked if we where concerned with them going postal. He was afraid that if they were forced to go to the library often they might suddenly crack.

 

[Kerileanne99]

Oh, oh!

My mother asked how they would learn to relate to other kids if they didn't have the same experiences to pull from. Okay, that is a discussion I could have.

Until she clarified by asking how they will learn valuable things like how to know when too much makeup is a problem because a girl gets labeled a 'slut' for it. Or how to know that a body is healthy because the other kids recognize unhealthy and call a kid 'fat.' Or that acting too smart is 'stuck up.'

 

Seriously.

[Guest]

Ah, I'm having flashbacks to this conversation:

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/543517-i-think-the-recruiter-is-blowing-us-off-hmph/

Edited October 6, 2016 by Kinsa

[Guest]

I was told that my teen wouldn't have zits because he'd wash his face better if he were in school. AARGH!

Wow, that's really reaching.

 

Non sequitur much?

Edited October 6, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Jean in Newcastle]

At a party:  "But . . . your kids are so. . . social!"  I deadpanned, "Yeah, I do let them out of the locked basement now and then."  The woman looked at me in shock and then said, "Oh. . . you're joking."  Ya think? 

 

If there are actual questions about homeschooling I can be very patient and forthcoming with explanations. 

[eternalsummer]

I have been told that multiple times as well. I also was told I was ruining my kids because I was depriving them of the experience of being bullied.  Apparently, being bullied builds character. :cursing:

 

 

I got this exact one when we pulled my DS in part because of bullying (school-sanctioned bullying, no less!)

[HRAAB]

"What about recess?"  In a rather horrified voice as though the worst thing about homeschooling was missing recess.  I guess roaming our 1.5 acres didn't count.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The most dangerous comments were from a local politician at a National Night Out who was insisting that I had to sign up for the public school homeschool support program which legally isn't even homeschooling.  I have no problem if people want to utilize those programs but she was spreading wrong information.  I started to pull out all my biggest educationese words from when I went to teacher school and gave her a lecture on how I was fulfilling learning objectives etc. I also gave her the rundown of our state homeschool law.    The people around us clapped when I was done.  The politician went off in a snit. 

[busymama7]

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

 

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

 

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

 

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Or there may be a certain portion of homeschoolers who homeschool because their special needs non-neuro-typical child wouldn't fit in well in a classroom. 

[elegantlion]

My sister would grill my parents about how ds was going to get into college. She didn't talk TO ME about it for years, probably because we don't talk much. The summer before ds started school, she point blank TOLD me that ds wouldn't last two weeks in college and that he wouldn't be prepared to deal with deadlines. She, who had never even directly asked me about homeschooling, and was getting 2nd hand information from my mom who was supportive but not privy to the everyday function of our schooling. I laughed at her. I also posted a picture on Facebook of his 4.0 President's honor roll he received during his first year.  :thumbup:

 

 

[maize]

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

 

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

 

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

 

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

The homeschoolers I know who are socially awkward tend to be non-neurotypical and/or have parents who are socially awkward--in spite of having gone through the public education system.

 

I was a socially awkward ADHD kid, institutional schooling did not fix that. A couple of my own kids are socially awkward; others are not.

 

Seems to me it's in the genes. It may be though that parents who did not fit in well in the public school system are more likely than others to choose to homeschool their own kids. Why send your kids to school if you were a miserable misfit there?

[purplejackmama]

"Gosh how will they survive in the REAL world if they have never been bullied?"

 

"How tragic to never go to prom!"

 

"Will they ever know how to ride a bus?"

 

"But! How will they learn Algebra and a foreign language?" (Oldest was 5 at the time ;) )

[Rebel Yell]

Years ago we took a vacation at the beginning of March to Texas because my eldest was fascinated by the Alamo. A few months later my SIL declared that it wasn't fair that we could take a vacation in the middle of the school year and that we should never do that again because it wasn't fair to all the kids who couldn't go. Mind you, we would never have invited them to go with us anyway but it was a weird statement. She went so far as to state that we should only take vacations in the summer like "everyone else".

 

Does she also believe that people shouldn't eat steak because not everyone can afford it, or be healthy because it's unfair to those with chronic illness? Or maybe nobody should be allowed to go on vacation anytime ever because not everyone can afford a vacation. 🙄

 

 

I was told that my teen wouldn't have zits because he'd wash his face better if he were in school.   AARGH!

  

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. 🙄

 

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

This might make sense if there were absolutely zero public schooled kids who were socially awkward.

Even in my own house I have an introvert who does OK in social situations, a very extroverted extrovert, and an ambivert who does not like being in crowds or ordering fast food. All homeschooled. They were like this since long before school age, and all have the same two parents, and I made no major changes to our parenting style.

[purplejackmama]

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

 

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

 

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

 

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

Hmm. I disagree. Kids are who they are. I've met awkward homeschooled, public schooled and private schooled kids. Don't think the school environment changed them.

[dirty ethel rackham]

"How will she ever learn to stand in line?"

 

:svengo:  :svengo:  :svengo:

 

Because ya know, apparently I would be preventing her from standing in line at the check out, the movie theater, the art gallery, the museum, the registration desk at camp, the........

 

And is this really that important of a life skill that one can not "learn it on the fly"???? Really???? :toetap05:

I think this one has merit.  My kids just can't seem to get the proper amount of space to leave in front of them.  Then they wonder why people cut in line ahead of them.  And, yes, we did do lots of things like stand in line at the grocery store and other places in public.  We went on a homeschool field trip to a large local museum.  The docent said that she loves the fact that the homeschool groups were so much more engaged and that they asked such great questions.  But they didn't stand in line.  "They clumped."   I noticed that she is right.  So, if I am in line with dd and she leaves too much space ahead of her, I tell her she is "clumping."  (To which she rolls her eyes and stays still just to bug me.) 

 

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

 

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

 

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

 

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

I was socially awkward and I went to school.  I have two who fit the stereotype when they were younger.  But I have one who would never have been pegged as a homeschooler.  I think it is the kid, not the method of schooling.  I think many families who have children for whom school would be socially difficult tend to choose homeschooling, so there is selection bias, not causation. 

 

My mom and I had this very argument ... She told me I was going to ruin my kids and they would have the same troubles that I did with other kids.  "Ummm ... Mom, I went to school.  It didn't cure me of awkwardness and shyness.  In fact, it set me up for bullying, which made the problems worse."  But they have to learn to deal with other kids and stand up to bullies.  "Ummm Mom.  I went to school and I never learned how to stand up to bullies.  I learned to hide and try to be as invisible as possible."   But,  you stopped complaining.  So you made it stop.  "Ummm, Mom.  I stopped complaining because you would tell me all the things I was doing wrong to make them be mean to me.  I got tired of being blamed for being bullied."  She sputtered a bit and ceased to argue.  Years later, she did admit that she was wrong in her early assumptions. 

[Tammi K]

I have been told that multiple times as well. I also was told I was ruining my kids because I was depriving them of the experience of being bullied.  Apparently, being bullied builds character. :cursing:

 

 

Hmmmmm, I wonder who helps the bullies to build character. Obviously they are deprived because they have no one to bully them. 

:glare:

 

 

[busymama7]

Yeah I've said the same for years. Selection bias, not neuro typical etc etc. I am still not totally buying it. Some cases yes. But some are totally normal intelligence and are not on the spectrum. But they just don't relate well to other kids at all. Sure they could have been like that anyways regardless of schooling but it is really painful to see. And I don't see the same thing in schooled kids. Not in the same way.

 

I still homeschool and I still think it is the best for socialization. But yes there are homeschooling families who never get their kids around other kids and it is not doing those kids any favors. I denied this for years and explained it away with all these same reasonings. And yet, I still keep seeing it. Parents who want to homeschool need to take both education and proper socialization seriously. And I'm sticking to that opinion.

[Tanaqui]

I was just told "I hope you are not teaching them spelling!" I am not even sure what that means. You don't want my child to learn to spell because it would make you look bad, or you think that I would teach them so much worse then they are taught in public school?

 

Normally I'd say that statement means something like "You're an atrocious speller and unqualified as an educator (at least in this area)" but your spelling doesn't seem particularly bad to me... so...?

[wendyroo]

I was socially awkward and I went to school.  I have two who fit the stereotype when they were younger.  But I have one who would never have been pegged as a homeschooler.  I think it is the kid, not the method of schooling.  I think many families who have children for whom school would be socially difficult tend to choose homeschooling, so there is selection bias, not causation. 

 

My mom and I had this very argument ... She told me I was going to ruin my kids and they would have the same troubles that I did with other kids.  "Ummm ... Mom, I went to school.  It didn't cure me of awkwardness and shyness.  In fact, it set me up for bullying, which made the problems worse."  But they have to learn to deal with other kids and stand up to bullies.  "Ummm Mom.  I went to school and I never learned how to stand up to bullies.  I learned to hide and try to be as invisible as possible."   But,  you stopped complaining.  So you made it stop.  "Ummm, Mom.  I stopped complaining because you would tell me all the things I was doing wrong to make them be mean to me.  I got tired of being blamed for being bullied."  She sputtered a bit and ceased to argue.  Years later, she did admit that she was wrong in her early assumptions. 

 

Yep, I was a 2e kid who went through 13 years of public schooling.  That is well over a decade of being beaten down by bullies, but it never "socialized" me or cured my 2e-ness.

 

Strangely, now that I am out in the real world and choose to not associate with bullies, I have learned to be comfortable in my socializing niche...granted, it is a small, introverted niche, but it allows me to be a content, responsible, functioning member of society.

 

I now have one 2e kiddo who would do very poorly in a public school setting and one social extrovert who would thrive except for the pesky detail that he would probably die of anaphylactic food allergies the first time he stepped in the cafeteria.  I don't think homeschooling or public schooling is going to "fix" DS1's 2e-ness anymore than it is going to fix DS2's food allergies. They are going to be who they are no matter how they are educated.

 

Wendy

Edited October 6, 2016 by wendyroo

[eternalsummer]

I can almost always pick out the homeschoolers in a crowd, or in an activity, or at the park.  They/we do stand out in some subtle way.

 

I don't think it is a bad way, though.  I think (my personal pet theory, and I have kids both in PS and at home) that homeschooled kids are under less stress, as they don't have to navigate social situations with so many other kids in one small place all day, or something.  They are, in my experience, less refined (they don't tend to stand in line as well, or have as modern/well groomed hair, etc.) but they are also much kinder.  

 

Of course this is a generalization and only from my own experience.  But when I signed DD up for a handbells group, which was not affiliated with a church and met after school hours, after the first day I remarked on how amazingly genuinely kind the kids seemed to be.  They were all a couple of years older than DD and were just very nice to her.  I was not surprised to find out that most of them were homeschooled.

[blondeviolin]

"You use books, right?" I was asked this while we were AT THE LIBRARY. :001_huh:

[SarahW]

A well-meaning relative once told me "You better make sure he doesn't get too smart."  

 

Uh, okay. Maybe I should supplement his diet with lead?  :confused1:

 

 

About socialization - One of the reasons I started homeschooling my oldest (besides making him too smart, of course), was because of anxiety and SPD behaviors. And then, yeah, got blamed by a psych for making him that way. Ugh. He's been in school situations which didn't help his "issues" at all and made them worse. But now he is in a school where they are giving him a lot of help for his "issues" and it is doing him a world of good in the social and soft skills areas. Just goes back to doing what is right for your own child and all that. 

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Nephew asked DD if she didn't miss going to a brick and mortar school. She said no. He pointed out she was missing things like Student Council. She said actually she was in two student councils and an officer in one. He pointed out she was missing out on field trips. she said no she still got to go on field trips. He pointed out she was going to miss prom. She said no she had three different proms she could attend. Finally he pointed out that they had had some police raids because of the threat of gang violence and she might not have another opportunity to see something like that in person if she didn't go back to school. She politely declined the invitation.

[SparklyUnicorn]

From a checkout chick - "you are making your kids too smart, it's not natural." From the same woman "Your kids are too good, aren't you worried ?'

 

Wow...that's um...really funny!

[SparklyUnicorn]

The day school started we went to the mall.  In part we were there to meet up with other homeschoolers to go to an indoor fun sort of place to celebrate "Not Back to School" and buy shoes.  So when we were checking out of a shoe store the lady said, "Oh, your school didn't start yet?"  I said we homeschool.  So then she said something about oh so you took today off.  I said well we homeschool year round so our schedule is flexible.  So then my 11 year old said, "Yeah my mother makes school so hard and makes us do school all year and we hardly ever get a break!"  I said oh come on we take plenty of time off.  He then said he was going to report me because of it.  I don't think he was really joking.  I don't think he'd report me, but he was making it clear that I was a hard @$$ (in his mind).  So I said to the cashier, well at least you can't accuse me of doing nothing.  She just laughed and said she doubts I'm as horrible as he said.  :lol:

 

I mean what the frack.  All the kids were in school and there we were jumping in ball pits and climbing down slides and going out to lunch.  Totally goofing off!  There is just no pleasing my kid. 

[Guest]

Wow, that's really reaching.

 

Non sequitur much?

She should have said that. It would be even better if the kid could have said that.

[Guest]

I think this one has merit.  My kids just can't seem to get the proper amount of space to leave in front of them.  Then they wonder why people cut in line ahead of them.  And, yes, we did do lots of things like stand in line at the grocery store and other places in public.  We went on a homeschool field trip to a large local museum.  The docent said that she loves the fact that the homeschool groups were so much more engaged and that they asked such great questions.  But they didn't stand in line.  "They clumped."   I noticed that she is right.  So, if I am in line with dd and she leaves too much space ahead of her, I tell her she is "clumping."  (To which she rolls her eyes and stays still just to bug me.) 

 

 

I was socially awkward and I went to school.  I have two who fit the stereotype when they were younger.  But I have one who would never have been pegged as a homeschooler.  I think it is the kid, not the method of schooling.  I think many families who have children for whom school would be socially difficult tend to choose homeschooling, so there is selection bias, not causation. 

 

My mom and I had this very argument ... She told me I was going to ruin my kids and they would have the same troubles that I did with other kids.  "Ummm ... Mom, I went to school.  It didn't cure me of awkwardness and shyness.  In fact, it set me up for bullying, which made the problems worse."  But they have to learn to deal with other kids and stand up to bullies.  "Ummm Mom.  I went to school and I never learned how to stand up to bullies.  I learned to hide and try to be as invisible as possible."   But,  you stopped complaining.  So you made it stop.  "Ummm, Mom.  I stopped complaining because you would tell me all the things I was doing wrong to make them be mean to me.  I got tired of being blamed for being bullied."  She sputtered a bit and ceased to argue.  Years later, she did admit that she was wrong in her early assumptions.

 

  

Yeah I've said the same for years. Selection bias, not neuro typical etc etc. I am still not totally buying it. Some cases yes. But some are totally normal intelligence and are not on the spectrum. But they just don't relate well to other kids at all. Sure they could have been like that anyways regardless of schooling but it is really painful to see. And I don't see the same thing in schooled kids. Not in the same way.

I still homeschool and I still think it is the best for socialization. But yes there are homeschooling families who never get their kids around other kids and it is not doing those kids any favors. I denied this for years and explained it away with all these same reasonings. And yet, I still keep seeing it. Parents who want to homeschool need to take both education and proper socialization seriously. And I'm sticking to that opinion.

I think there are instances of both. In some cases, it takes a certain amount of against-the-stream swimming to be a long-term homeschooling parent and many hsing parents are tolerant of, or oblivious to, their kids' quirkiness; without peer condemnation, quirks do not get pruned or repressed. Thus, there is more free-spirited behavior amongst the always-homeschooled kids.

 

But for the "nature" argument, it is also true that kids with quirks or disabilities are going to display those behaviors no matter how they are schooled. I have met hsers who are defensive about their child's odd behaviors and who deny their child has a definite, diagnosable condition. OTOH, I have met hsers who are so focused on their child's disorder, it seems like they can't even see the child anymore, just the disorder.

 

My last little P.S. To this: when I first started hsing, the homeschoolers had outstandingly good reputations. Venues were usually welcoming of hsers because they were, as a whole, known for being polite, mature, disciplined and intelligent. But this general opinion has changed drastically. There are places that are very reluctant to have our homeschool co-op come to their venue because they have had such atrocious behavior from hs groups. Homeschool groups also have a seriously bad reputation for drop-out and late-coming rates to tour trips. I do believe the homeschoolers (around here, at least) have rightly earned this bad rep because there really are a larger-than-average number of hsers who CANNOT be relied upon to accomplish anything on time or show up as committed. The percentages seem to be lower within co-ops that already have commitments as part of the design. They are higher in very loose co-ops; trying to do a field trip with loose co-ops is an exercise infutility because five people will be late and ten just won't show up.

[Mom-ninja.]

A woman told me that I am setting a bad example to my sons for staying at home and sacrificing my career to homeschool them. I am teaching them that a woman shouldn't have a job outside of home and family therefore I am harming girls and women.