What are the silliest comments that you have received regarding homeschooling?

[regentrude]

I can almost always pick out the homeschoolers in a crowd, or in an activity, or at the park.  They/we do stand out in some subtle way.

 

I don't think it is a bad way, though.  I think (my personal pet theory, and I have kids both in PS and at home) that homeschooled kids are under less stress, as they don't have to navigate social situations with so many other kids in one small place all day, or something.  They are, in my experience, less refined (they don't tend to stand in line as well, or have as modern/well groomed hair, etc.) but they are also much kinder.  

 

Of course this is a generalization and only from my own experience.  But when I signed DD up for a handbells group, which was not affiliated with a church and met after school hours, after the first day I remarked on how amazingly genuinely kind the kids seemed to be.  They were all a couple of years older than DD and were just very nice to her.  I was not surprised to find out that most of them were homeschooled.

 

I had the illusion that homeschooling could produce a better social atmosphere... until I witness the cruel bullying in our homeschool group that was worse because the mothers of the popular girls got involved and started ganging up on the bullied kid, too. Nope, homeschooled kids can be equally vicious and mean as non homeschooled kids. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

A woman told me that I am setting a bad example to my sons for staying at home and sacrificing my career to homeschool them. I am teaching them that a woman shouldn't have a job outside of home and family therefore I am harming girls and women. 

 

awww bless her heart

 

:001_rolleyes:

[regentrude]

"But! How will they learn Algebra and a foreign language?" (Oldest was 5 at the time ;) )

 

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

[momto10blessings]

"Are you too poor to send your kids to public school?"

??!!*#* I wish!

[dlcricket]

Do your in-laws speak Spanish? The Spanish word for high school is "colegio". They may be asking when they will go to regular school.

 

My in-laws keep asking my hubby when our kids are going to college :lol: However my elderly in-laws are not from states and somehow my hubby's "lecture" on US college admission did not sink in.

 

From neighbors and aquaintances, the most common comment was whether my kids are going to college early because all homeschoolers in my region are apparently accelerated. That comment started when my oldest reached 4 feet/1.2m tall.

[dlcricket]

Do your in-laws speak Spanish? The Spanish word for high school is "colegio". They may be asking when they will go to regular school.

 

My in-laws keep asking my hubby when our kids are going to college :lol: However my elderly in-laws are not from states and somehow my hubby's "lecture" on US college admission did not sink in.

 

From neighbors and aquaintances, the most common comment was whether my kids are going to college early because all homeschoolers in my region are apparently accelerated. That comment started when my oldest reached 4 feet/1.2m tall.

[MyLittleBears]

I happen to have a school district that is quite accommodating to homeschooler. My ASD child need a "social skills" class with peers and overseen by an SLP. He needs it like a subject, which is something typically developing kids don't need. When I was sitting down with the school team it was amazing to me that they were not really getting it. They thought our private SLP and I were requesting more social interaction because the assumption from them was that since he is homeschooled so he does not get enough interaction. I could have banged my head against a wall. He gets "plenty" of interaction thank you, just not the artificial kind that has them segregated by age for hours a day. The ignorance about homeschooling is so frustrating!

 

 

 

[Bluegoat]

Interestingly, he didn't mean tax money or any kind of financial type of resource. His main complaint is that if all of the (in his words) wealthier and more engaged parents either homeschool or send their kids to private school, the public schools will be worse off. His city has a really bad public school system (schools have been unaccredited multiple times because of how bad they are) and he insists that the only way they'll improve is if no one sent their kids to private school or homeschooled. 

 

I know a lot of homeschool people don't like this idea, and I think there are some cause and effect questions as well, but I do actually think there is some truth to this idea.

 

If you look at countries with really good public education, one of the things that gets taken for granted is that almost everyone will be using public schools, and that widespread homeschooling and use of private education won't happen.  I think that creates a significant amount of political will including in segments of society that have a fair bit of economic and political power.  A country where a substantial number of people in politics and the upper middle class are using private schools, and middle class people are homeschooling, will tend to look different than one where most of those people expect their kids to have a public school education.

 

Now - part of this is that there is an effect whereby a poor ps system that seems impossible to fix means more people will feel that they have to find some other option. So that option of action on a large scale has to be part of the picture, and I think for many, they just don't see that as a possibility in many of the English-speaking countries.

[Miss Tick]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

I agree with your educational points and, in fact, that is part of why we are homeschooling. I have never lived anywhere that offered foreign language before middle school, and even then it was fairly, uninspired and text book driven. So while it may be a valid concern, it is rare that public school is the answer. FTR, I'm not fluent any anything but English, however I am motivated to facilitate.

[Bluegoat]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

 

I think this is one of the hardest things as well, and I've been surprised that it isn't something where I see more homeschoolers working together.  For many people I suspect that it isn't a huge issue because they know their kids won't get any more in ps.

 

It's the reason my eldest has started ps this year for grade 6 though, she can go into an immersion program starting next year.  We can do any required math or writing support at home and if necessary do some content subjects in summer.  But I think it's worth that just to get at least one other language fluency.

[Butter]

LOL.  I love Texas.  I really do, with all its flaws and everything.  But the way she reacted to the idea that I wasn't teaching Texas history that year was so over the top I felt like we were in a badly written sitcom.  I tried sharing how pumped DS was about Ancient History plus the World Wars and he was happily studying both simultaneously and with much enthusiasm and depth.  It seemed a really bad idea to then turn around and tell him "I don't care what you WANT to study about history, you are now in 4th grade.  That means you HAVE to study Texas history this year and again in 7th grade.  To bad, so sad, suck it up sunshine."  She was quite literally horrified that I was letting my son choose to study these things as a 4th grader.  4th graders are old enough to follow a "proper progression of learning".  Okaaaaay...

 

Well, I guess we're just totally horrible because we're not teaching Texas history at all.  Not even one single year.  Texas is in history of course.  But we're not focusing on it.  They've all been to the Alamo.  They all know a lot about the Alamo since we're related to Jim Bowie.  But I just don't see the point of focused Texas history.  I mean, in elementary school in MD they taught Maryland history for like a month.  And then I grew up and left the state.  And for those who freak over kids not having TX history in 4th and 7th, what about my friend's kid, in public school, who moved here just before 6th grade.  Uh-oh, only one year of TX history for her.

WHAT? You didn't devote two years to the study the study of one state? (That hasn't even been around for 200 years.)

 

Texas has been around a lot longer than 200 years.  It's been a US State since 1845 so it is true it has been a state less than 200 years.  But Texas history does not begin when it became a state.  It was a country for 9 years before that.  And it was part of Mexico before that.  And before that it was populated with indigenous cultures.  The history of Texas is known back thousands of years.  When they teach Texas history it also includes climate and geography.  In a state this big that varies quite a bit from north to south and east to west.  So I do understand the whole two years of Texas history thing (we are a state with a large amount of what my friend likes to call Statriotism) and there is definitely enough material to spend two years learning it.  I just think it's silly to teach it for two whole years.

 

Years ago we took a vacation at the beginning of March to Texas because my eldest was fascinated by the Alamo. A few months later my SIL declared that it wasn't fair that we could take a vacation in the middle of the school year and that we should never do that again because it wasn't fair to all the kids who couldn't go. Mind you, we would never have invited them to go with us anyway but it was a weird statement. She went so far as to state that we should only take vacations in the summer like "everyone else".

 

That's one of the best parts about homeschooling.  However, it's been my experience that many people with public schooled kids pull their kids out to take them on vacation mid-year to avoid summer crowds (and heat).  We went to Orlando the end of January/early February one year and there were many non-homeschooling families vacationing at the same time.  Their kids were just missing school that week.  When we spent a month in Ireland in March-April, I did have quite a few people ask how the kids would "make up" the work they'd be missing while we were on vacation.  The whole trip was like an incredible mega field trip.  People just couldn't understand the flexibility of a homeschooling schedule.  At the time we homeschooled year round anyway so it was just moving "summer break" to a different time of the year.

 

I was asked many times when the big ones were little how they would ever learn to stand in line.  Somehow, at 15 and 16, they've got it figured out without being taught.  In fact my 10 year old can stand in line, too.  My 8 year old spent half a year in public school kindergarten and never did figure out standing in line.  Usually he was being walked through the halls with his teaching holding his hand in the hopes he wouldn't get distracted.  Alas, standing in line may never happen with that one.

 

My favorite is always when people ask me how my kids will make friends.  It's always asked when they are playing with other children (like at the park playing with kids they've never met before) or setting up kids getting together.  I'm always at a loss since it is clear that my children are making friends just fine.  I think most people don't really think before they speak sometimes.

 

"If they don't go to school, how will they know what grade they are in?"

[dirty ethel rackham]

I had the illusion that homeschooling could produce a better social atmosphere... until I witness the cruel bullying in our homeschool group that was worse because the mothers of the popular girls got involved and started ganging up on the bullied kid, too. Nope, homeschooled kids can be equally vicious and mean as non homeschooled kids.

Yep. We experienced that. But at least my kids didn't have to spend 6-8 hours every day with those kids. And we learned not to go to activities where they were and to invite other, nicer kids in smaller groups to do things. This is partially why I started so many clubs and organizations.

 

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[Jean in Newcastle]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

Unless you are in an immersion program, most schools don't teach to fluency. That doesn't mean that they don't teach them. But fluency is not a given.

 

 

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[wendyroo]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

 

To be fair, when I was growing up our public school did not offer any foreign language instruction until 7th grade.  I was a gifted overachiever who worked my a$$ off in all 6 years of Spanish that were offered and I still graduated just barely able to place into Spanish 2 at the university level.  

 

The public school classes were indeed taught by fluent Spanish speakers, but between the bureaucracy, the busy work, the low standards, the apathetic students, the insane amount of repetition and the watered down curriculum, they were largely a waste of my time.  Honestly, I spent 180 hours a year for 6 years all to achieve minimal elementary proficiency in the language - that does not say to me that the public schools are the silver bullet for language instruction (or, really, any instruction).

 

Wendy

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yeah I've said the same for years. Selection bias, not neuro typical etc etc. I am still not totally buying it. Some cases yes. But some are totally normal intelligence and are not on the spectrum. But they just don't relate well to other kids at all. Sure they could have been like that anyways regardless of schooling but it is really painful to see. And I don't see the same thing in schooled kids. Not in the same way.

 

I still homeschool and I still think it is the best for socialization. But yes there are homeschooling families who never get their kids around other kids and it is not doing those kids any favors. I denied this for years and explained it away with all these same reasonings. And yet, I still keep seeing it. Parents who want to homeschool need to take both education and proper socialization seriously. And I'm sticking to that opinion.

You do understand that having ASD or other issues that might affect social interactions is not about intelligence, right? In fact many kids with ASD are 2e - gifted as well as ASD. Or have ADD or SPD. And you can't just tell by looking at them or even interacting with them. You might think that they are "quirky " and awkward but other than that they seem normal. Some of us homeschool to get away from judgments like yours so that our kids can get these skills on their own time table. Many kids with ASD are late bloomers. They will find their way socially but in a few years. Unless I told them, friends and even family had no idea that ds had an ASD diagnosis.

 

 

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[mmasc]

Just a few weeks into second grade, I pulled my oldest DS (now 11) from PS. His teacher told me in a sad way, 'But he was so smart...'

Like, well, there goes that smart kid, now he's going home to be dumb. ????

[LucyStoner]

Ok I have been doing this a long time and also tire of the socialization nonsense.

 

But... The stereotype is there for a reason. We have run into (quite a few...) homeschooled kids who are just...backward socially. Enough that they really stand out awkwardly in a group of teens. Their behaviors and such are just...out of sync is the nicest way I can say it.

 

In fact last week my boys early morning seminary teacher (religious class that meets before school) asked them if they really were homeschooled. When they said yes he asked if they had ever been in school. When they said no he asked how come they were so normal compared to so many other kids he's taught that wee homeschooled (some of which my boys do know and confirm that they are awkward)

 

I think it is easy for us to blow it off and I do think homeschooling has distinct advantages socially also. But there are many many homeschoolers who don't make proper socialization a priority.

Are they socially awkward because they are homeschooled or homeschooled because they are socially awkward? IME, it was the latter. School was made difficult and near impossible by some of the social skills deficits he had as a 6 year old on the spectrum. In our case, he's less socially out of sync because of all of the time we devoted to social thinking and skill building...which was made possible only because we homeschooled. Edited October 7, 2016 by LucyStoner

[luuknam]

They are, in my experience, less refined (they don't tend to stand in line as well, or have as modern/well groomed hair, etc.)

 

LOL. I've got paperwork from my oldest's public school mentioning his ungroomed hair when he was enrolled in his second year of pre-K (DW failed to brush his hair the day the school psych did some eval on him, and it's written up in the eval).  Also, his first public school pretty much required all boys to have their hair 1950s style. My kids' current haircuts would NOT be allowed (and they're hardly radical - they're like the singer of New Order in the 'Crystal' video, which yeah, I know is not 'modern', but it's not the 50s). In fact, when we first enrolled my oldest in PS the principal told us he'd suspend the special needs 3yo until we'd cut his (nicely groomed) hair to be above the collar/above the ears.

 

A well-meaning relative once told me "You better make sure he doesn't get too smart." 

 

That one is popular in NL, ime (though not homeschool-related, since I never knew anyone who homeschooled in NL).

[Bluegoat]

LOL. I've got paperwork from my oldest's public school mentioning his ungroomed hair when he was enrolled in his second year of pre-K (DW failed to brush his hair the day the school psych did some eval on him, and it's written up in the eval).  Also, his first public school pretty much required all boys to have their hair 1950s style. My kids' current haircuts would NOT be allowed (and they're hardly radical - they're like the singer of New Order in the 'Crystal' video, which yeah, I know is not 'modern', but it's not the 50s). In fact, when we first enrolled my oldest in PS the principal told us he'd suspend the special needs 3yo until we'd cut his (nicely groomed) hair to be above the collar/above the ears.

 

 

That one is popular in NL, ime (though not homeschool-related, since I never knew anyone who homeschooled in NL).

 

I think it is funny how random things can make it into those assessments.  I went to a child psychologist when I finished K because I was having academic problems, and at one point I said something about a picture I'd drawn that he said in hhis report could show tantruming or manipulative tendencies. 

 

Actually, I had just read "Where the Wild Things Are" and was quoting from it, because I liked the way it sounded, it really had nothing to do with my picture, or anything I saw as connected to my life.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Bluegoat

[Guest]

Just a few weeks into second grade, I pulled my oldest DS (now 11) from PS. His teacher told me in a sad way, 'But he was so smart...'

Like, well, there goes that smart kid, now he's going home to be dumb. ????

I got a similar comment from my SIL. My first child was precocious and very bright. At one point, SIL said, "It's a shame (she's homeschooled) because a kid like her can really excel in school." I said, "She can also really excel in homeschooling; it is why homeschooling parents do enjoy having a child like her learning at home."

 

It's a weird fact about homeschooling: usually the kids who are a joy to hs would also be a joy to teachers in school, while the student who struggles at school can do well at home, but the frustrations are born by the hs parent each day.

[mellifera33]

 

"Will they ever know how to ride a bus?"

 

 

 

 

My kids think that riding a bus is the most exciting thing ever. They were meh about our upcoming trip to a wild animal park until they found out that they got to ride a bus through the exhibits. Then it was exciting.  :laugh:

[purplejackmama]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

Well yes. Of course it's important for students to learn other languages.

 

The irony of the statement being made when my oldest was 5 is because no schools in our district introduce foreign languages in Kindergarten. A few charter schools start in Middle school but the majority wait until high school since 2 credits are required for HS. I found it funny that this concerned commenter was questioning my ability to homeschool something the public school isn't doing. :)

[Anne in CA]

We had the sweetest family at the restaurant last week that I'm sure was home schooling. They might be "weird" by some standards, but they were lovely people. Society needs those people. The good people who are just themselves. 

[DesertBlossom]

To be fair, when I was growing up our public school did not offer any foreign language instruction until 7th grade. I was a gifted overachiever who worked my a$$ off in all 6 years of Spanish that were offered and I still graduated just barely able to place into Spanish 2 at the university level.

 

The public school classes were indeed taught by fluent Spanish speakers, but between the bureaucracy, the busy work, the low standards, the apathetic students, the insane amount of repetition and the watered down curriculum, they were largely a waste of my time. Honestly, I spent 180 hours a year for 6 years all to achieve minimal elementary proficiency in the language - that does not say to me that the public schools are the silver bullet for language instruction (or, really, any instruction).

 

Wendy

I did the same. I took 5 years of Spanish starting in 8th grade. I was able to test out of Span 101, 102, 201 and 202 when I got to college. But I still didn't feel like I could say anything. I am fluent now, but I mostly credit my combined 2 years living in foreign countries.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Years ago we took a vacation at the beginning of March to Texas because my eldest was fascinated by the Alamo. A few months later my SIL declared that it wasn't fair that we could take a vacation in the middle of the school year and that we should never do that again because it wasn't fair to all the kids who couldn't go. Mind you, we would never have invited them to go with us anyway but it was a weird statement. She went so far as to state that we should only take vacations in the summer like "everyone else".

Sounds like she might have been a bit jealous!

[DesertBlossom]

Years before I was homeschooling my own kids I met a family that I was sure homeschooled. The kids were kind and polite but a little socially off. Not really fitting in with the kids their age. Turns out they were NOT homeschooled.

 

However a few years later they decided to pull their kids out and homeschool. And they are still a little socially off and don't totally fit in. However I think they are all super awesome kids. The most helpful and respectful kids I've ever met. I just don't think they are at all aware of what is considered "cool" by their peers, which makes them stand out a bit. (Which I personally don't find to be a problem at all)

 

There are plenty of odd kids that don't fit in in public school too. We just can't blame it on homeschooling.

[Arcadia]

Do your in-laws speak Spanish? The Spanish word for high school is "colegio". They may be asking when they will go to regular school.

 

Nope. They speak Cantonese (Chinese dialect) and are ESL.

My hubby and I are not from the states so basically it is my blur hubby trying to describe the American system to his confused parents.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Arcadia

[Dmmetler]

One of my favorites was a sales clerk who replied, when I responded to her statement about uniforms being on sale that we homeschool, so don't need them.

 

" you mean your kids don't wear clothes?"

 

(admittedly, DD was wearing pajama pants over her leotard, since we'd stopped by on the way home from the gym, but I still think that qualifies as clothes!)

[Reefgazer]

I agree that this is a probable outcome of everyone abandoning the public schools. But my first reponsibility is to my child, no one else. Furthermore, I do not think the public schools will be substantially improved until they are basically destroyed and rebuilt from the bottom up, so destroying them is the first step toward improvemnet, IMO.

 

I know a lot of homeschool people don't like this idea, and I think there are some cause and effect questions as well, but I do actually think there is some truth to this idea.

 

If you look at countries with really good public education, one of the things that gets taken for granted is that almost everyone will be using public schools, and that widespread homeschooling and use of private education won't happen. I think that creates a significant amount of political will including in segments of society that have a fair bit of economic and political power. A country where a substantial number of people in politics and the upper middle class are using private schools, and middle class people are homeschooling, will tend to look different than one where most of those people expect their kids to have a public school education.

 

Now - part of this is that there is an effect whereby a poor ps system that seems impossible to fix means more people will feel that they have to find some other option. So that option of action on a large scale has to be part of the picture, and I think for many, they just don't see that as a possibility in many of the English-speaking countries.

[Crimson Wife]

Yeah I've said the same for years. Selection bias, not neuro typical etc etc. I am still not totally buying it. Some cases yes. But some are totally normal intelligence and are not on the spectrum. But they just don't relate well to other kids at all. Sure they could have been like that anyways regardless of schooling but it is really painful to see. And I don't see the same thing in schooled kids. Not in the same way.

 

Teens who spend 30+ hours/week around their same-aged peers are much more susceptible to peer pressure to conform. My 14 y.o. always-HS child is WAY more self-confident than I was at her age and she doesn't obsess over wearing the "right" clothes, following the "right" pop culture things, etc. etc. like I did at the same age. I spent my jr. high and most of my sr. high years miserable because I was so desperate to fit in with classmates that I had very little in common with. To an outside observer, I might've seemed like I was better able to "relate well to other kids" but it just meant that I was more motivated to conform.

 

I'd rather she be happily "weird" than miserably pretending to be "normal".

 

[Noreen Claire]

"Most home schoolers are too lazy to put their kids on the bus."

 

Guilty!  :lol:

[Katy]

It always mystifies me that the people who rail most about private schooling and home schooling destroying public schools are never the ones who choose to live in the inner city to try to restore it.  No, they are the ones in the McMansions in the suburbs at the edge of town so their kids can go to the "good" public school  And then when districts get rezoned so that there is more diversity in their formerly rich school, they move to the one that is newly whiter. Hypocrisy much?

[Guest]

It always mystifies me that the people who rail most about private schooling and home schooling destroying public schools are never the ones who choose to live in the inner city to try to restore it. No, they are the ones in the McMansions in the suburbs at the edge of town so their kids can go to the "good" public school And then when districts get rezoned so that there is more diversity in their formerly rich school, they move to the one that is newly whiter. Hypocrisy much?

...or they have their secretaries write letters to the administrators on their Law Firm letterhead, "asking" that their children be spared from redistricting.

 

Ask me how I know. (Former Legal Secretary here...)

[SparklyUnicorn]

Unless you are in an immersion program, most schools don't teach to fluency. That doesn't mean that they don't teach them. But fluency is not a given.

 

 

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Uh yeah.  I've taken German, Spanish, and Polish.  In fact three years of Polish!!  I don't speak any of these languages.  I was once not too bad with Polish, buy I happened to hang around a lot of Polish speaking people on a regular basis and that is really what I credit to learning any Polish.

 

They start way too late in public schools to gain any kind of fluency.

[Sk8ermaiden]

  

 

 

My last little P.S. To this: when I first started hsing, the homeschoolers had outstandingly good reputations. Venues were usually welcoming of hsers because they were, as a whole, known for being polite, mature, disciplined and intelligent. But this general opinion has changed drastically. There are places that are very reluctant to have our homeschool co-op come to their venue because they have had such atrocious behavior from hs groups. Homeschool groups also have a seriously bad reputation for drop-out and late-coming rates to tour trips. I do believe the homeschoolers (around here, at least) have rightly earned this bad rep because there really are a larger-than-average number of hsers who CANNOT be relied upon to accomplish anything on time or show up as committed. The percentages seem to be lower within co-ops that already have commitments as part of the design. They are higher in very loose co-ops; trying to do a field trip with loose co-ops is an exercise infutility because five people will be late and ten just won't show up.

 

I have only been homeschooling a few years, but I am finding this to be true. I have to be selective about what we sign up to do and who with, because unless you charge up front, half the people (at least) will flake. And venues are closing doors to us because so many of the children are horribly behaved (and the parents fully allow it.) It seems like when I'm in a group of homeschoolers, it's one extreme or the other - unusually well behaved and polite or completely feral. There is no in between, and it *usually* comes down to the parents' philosophy on kids/parenting/education.

[Rebel Yell]

I'm baffled by the poster who said homeschoolers aren't as well-groomed or have the most current hairstyles. I see ps kids dragging themselves to the bus stop at 6:30am in sweats and wet hair or messy hair because they were too tired to really pull their look together. My girls have plenty of time to get ready. SweetChild finished her work at noon today, so she has two or three hours to make herself look fabulous to meet her boyfriend when he gets home from school. And she also went to his school's homecoming dance and blended in just fine, even among his friend's dates who were wearing $500.00 dresses and had their hair, nails, and make-up done professionally. Seriously, look up prices for Sherri Hill dresses. 🙄 She did her own hair and makeup, I did her nails, and she looked amazing. Nobody pointed at her and said "Oh my gosh, she MUST be homeschooled."

 

I just think some things truly are not homeschool issues. I bet we all remember that one kid in school with the greasy hair, weird clothes, just totally not 'in style.' And with my girls, there are at least three stylish homeschool kids/grads out there. 😂

[HomeschoolingHearts&Minds]

I asked my oldest if we are weird, awkward homeschoolers.  His reply: "Yes, I am weird and awkward, but that's just who I am.  My interests are different from most kids my age.  It took me awhile to find some friends who are as weird as I am, but I did and most of them go to public school."

 

FWIW, he attended Catholic school for pre-k through 1st grade.  We took him out due to incessant bullying in 1st grade as well as lack of differentiation in instruction.  He was bored and terrified at the same time.  Hard to thrive under those circumstances.

 

None of my other kids have been in school.  As I observe them and interact with them, I find that they are the same people they have always been.  The same mannerisms, the same temperaments, the same personalities, the same level of extrovert/introvert (we have one super extrovert and the others vary).  Would sending them to school have changed them?  Perhaps.  Or maybe it would have caused them to build up walls around their true selves.  Speaking as  someone who went to ps and who was always "a little odd" (and that description came from my bestie since 4th grade when we were both adults) and who was bullied relentlessly throughout elementary and middle school, I can honestly say that ps did not improve me in any way.  

 

ETA: I agree that homeschoolers are "different," but I wouldn't describe it as awkward or weird or unsocialized.  It's more like having a different worldview (I'm not talking religion or politics or anything like that, more like our perspective on the world comes from a slightly different angle or as though we're wearing a filter that shows us things that others don't see, but also hides things from us that are utterly self-evident to the mainstream).

Edited October 6, 2016 by HomeschoolingHearts&Minds

[OneStepAtATime]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

This statement only works if a foreign language is taught effectively and to mastery starting in elementary in public school.  As far as I can tell a very large number of public schools in the U.S. do not teach a foreign language in elementary.  Even in Middle and High School it is frequently not taught to anywhere close to mastery.  Is that true of all public schools?  Probably not.  But as others have mentioned, the assumption that a child will not be able to learn a foreign language well if they homeschool because public school is the best place to learn a foreign language is simply not accurate.

 

  When I was going to school there was NO foreign language until High School.  I took three years of French from a native speaker in High School.  It was pretty useless.  Rote memorization of vocab.  Very little conversation.  I had to start over in College.

 

My daughter had Spanish starting in 3rd grade at her school.  Not from a native speaker.  The teacher got the job because she was tired of teaching P.E. and was good at art.  The Art teacher automatically got the Spanish job, too.  Lots of rote memorized vocab words.  No conversation.  DD did that for 3 years and learned nothing.

 

Foreign language in Middle School here is one semester as an introduction before the two years of High School foreign language.

[wendyroo]

I'm baffled by the poster who said homeschoolers aren't as well-groomed or have the most current hairstyles. I see ps kids dragging themselves to the bus stop at 6:30am in sweats and wet hair or messy hair because they were too tired to really pull their look together.

 

Except that since those kids are public schooled which is the status quo benchmark, then many would say that they set the "current style" that the homeschooled kids are supposed to be meeting.  "Just rolled out of bed" is in.

 

I've been told that my kids look homeschooled because they are too well groomed - jeans, not sweat pants; unbranded t-shirts, not athletic shirts emblazoned with logos or slogans or "You Can't Spell Awesome Without ME!!"; clean, play-tousled hair cut in regular Leave It To Beaver little boy hair styles, not spiked or fauxhawked with half a tube of styling gel.

 

To me, my kids just look like regular, comfortable little kids, but several people have mentioned that they are too put together to fit in with public school elementary fashion.   :glare:

 

Wendy

[Bluegoat]

I agree that this is a probable outcome of everyone abandoning the public schools. But my first reponsibility is to my child, no one else. Furthermore, I do not think the public schools will be substantially improved until they are basically destroyed and rebuilt from the bottom up, so destroying them is the first step toward improvemnet, IMO.

 

 

I think in many places the issue with change isn't really about schools per se, it's about how political change happens.  And people may or may not be able to act on that.

 

But in a robust political environment, people can and have totally changed their systems of education and made them better. 

[shawthorne44]

Just a few weeks into second grade, I pulled my oldest DS (now 11) from PS. His teacher told me in a sad way, 'But he was so smart...'

Like, well, there goes that smart kid, now he's going home to be dumb. ????

 

No, she was thinking, "I can't rely on him to bring my stats up."

[Guest]

I'm baffled by the poster who said homeschoolers aren't as well-groomed or have the most current hairstyles. I see ps kids dragging themselves to the bus stop at 6:30am in sweats and wet hair or messy hair because they were too tired to really pull their look together. My girls have plenty of time to get ready. SweetChild finished her work at noon today, so she has two or three hours to make herself look fabulous to meet her boyfriend when he gets home from school. And she also went to his school's homecoming dance and blended in just fine, even among his friend's dates who were wearing $500.00 dresses and had their hair, nails, and make-up done professionally. Seriously, look up prices for Sherri Hill dresses. 🙄 She did her own hair and makeup, I did her nails, and she looked amazing. Nobody pointed at her and said "Oh my gosh, she MUST be homeschooled."

 

I just think some things truly are not homeschool issues. I bet we all remember that one kid in school with the greasy hair, weird clothes, just totally not 'in style.' And with my girls, there are at least three stylish homeschool kids/grads out there. 😂

I know a lot of hsers who are not well-groomed. I haven't done a side-by-side comparison with school kids, but I can easily think of several families where combing hair and wearing neat-looking clothing is not a priority. (Also, I literally yesterday just told someone, "that's my kid in the green, hole-y shirt. He says it's his jumping (trampoline) shirt. So...*shrug*.")

 

The upside of this, as a frugal person, is that my kids didn't care about brand names, at least until they went to B&M school in 9th grade. On the down side, I'm sure it does stand out when you see a group of them and they are wearing whatever random shirts, don't care about shoe brands and generally just seem a little clueless about style.

[Julie Smith]

My boys would be better groomed if they went to public school. They only put on clean clothes when I bug them and don't see the point in it. For awhile youngest also thought his mullet was the best looking hair style ever.

[TranquilMind]

"How will they ever learn to interact with people"? 

 

[ You should see them now.  One moved overseas, learned a foreign language, passed that test to university level and is now interacting with people from all over the world in multiple languages.  This one won't be alone in adventurousness. ]

 

You are indoctrinating them with your faith/beliefs.

Um, yes, yes we are and did.    Better us than the average school's backward indoctrination.   I sure hope something stuck, but you only really know when they are in their 30's and 40's, I think.  Maybe older. 

 

"You home schooling parents are hurting the local schools." 

 

Oh, heck no. We paid full taxes for the schools every single year on multiple houses (since we owned rentals) despite never using them ourselves until the very end.    Don't even start this argument with me.  You're welcome, I wanted to say. 

 

At the shrill insistence of one of my offspring, we stupidly capitulated and enrolled in a "top classical school" for a couple of years.  These were horrible years, which indoctrinated the kids in the absolute opposite of everything we hold to be true and honorable in reference to values, and we learned what cesspools the "good schools" really were in our area, at least.  All that happened all day long is classroom management/control, with very little learning taking place.  We far outpaced a month's work of instruction there in a day at our house, and this is the "best school" in the area, with a mile long waiting list.  "Classical" meant nothing at all except that the school had Latin classes and did a pretty good job in the AP history (well, if you call only my kid passing with a 5 score out of 30 kids "good").  The pace was so slow that my advanced but young kid had to go directly into AP with seniors in some subjects and I had to fight for that (and socially it was not a good thing).     There weren't even books in some classes, because "there weren't enough for everyone" so I had to buy them on Amazon and we had to teach on the side.   One good thing came of it, a fantastic relationship with the top teacher in (best subject) in the area and a great recommendation when needed.  Oh, and a transcript of straight A's because of ability, not teaching.   I guess we got that, but the damage has yet to be undone in other ways. 

Let me tell you how I really feel.... ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 6, 2016 by TranquilMind

[sassenach]

"Dr.Phil says that's ok for elementary school, but you shouldn't homeschool high school."

 

Um.....Okay.

[tampamommy]

"But how will they learn to stand in line?" Really. Someone really asked me that when my dc were in grade school.

[TranquilMind]

"But how will they learn to stand in line?" Really. Someone really asked me that when my dc were in grade school.

 

You didn't honestly think that YOU could teach a child how to stand in line at the bank, or the grocery store, or Disney Land, did you?

 

This takes a PROFESSIONAL, highly trained in queuing up, dontcha know.  ;)

 

[busymama7]

You do understand that having ASD or other issues that might affect social interactions is not about intelligence, right? In fact many kids with ASD are 2e - gifted as well as ASD. Or have ADD or SPD. And you can't just tell by looking at them or even interacting with them. You might think that they are "quirky " and awkward but other than that they seem normal. Some of us homeschool to get away from judgments like yours so that our kids can get these skills on their own time table. Many kids with ASD are late bloomers. They will find their way socially but in a few years. Unless I told them, friends and even family had no idea that ds had an ASD diagnosis.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You *did* note that I specifically said normal intelligence AND not on the spectrum right?!? I specifically separated these statements because I DO know that they are different. Maybe that wasn't clear but I attempted to make it so.

 

You may go ahead and continue to assume that all the socially awkward kids who's parents don't "let them out of the basement" literally are all on the spectrum but I do know better. I know these families well and over the course of many years in leadership role at a large coop that I began 10 years ago. Yes we've had kids on the spectrum. but we've also had some that were definitely hindered by almost no social interactions as they grew up. Parents thinking church once a week was enough etc. and I've seen it even more outside our coop when interacting with other homeschoolers.

[busymama7]

Are they socially awkward because they are homeschooled or homeschooled because they are socially awkward? IME, it was the later. School was made difficult and near impossible by some of the social skills deficits he had as a 6 year old on the spectrum. In our case, he's less socially out of sync because of all of the time we devoted to social thinking and skill building...which was made possible only because we homeschooled.

Of course some could be either way but in lots of cases I can think of the families had never sent anyone to school. They weren't homeschooling now. They had never used brick and mortar school of any kind.

[busymama7]

Teens who spend 30+ hours/week around their same-aged peers are much more susceptible to peer pressure to conform. My 14 y.o. always-HS child is WAY more self-confident than I was at her age and she doesn't obsess over wearing the "right" clothes, following the "right" pop culture things, etc. etc. like I did at the same age. I spent my jr. high and most of my sr. high years miserable because I was so desperate to fit in with classmates that I had very little in common with. To an outside observer, I might've seemed like I was better able to "relate well to other kids" but it just meant that I was more motivated to conform.

 

I'd rather she be happily "weird" than miserably pretending to be "normal".

 

I've seen this too and it why in the end I believe homeschooling to produce better socialization overall and not worse. I really appreciate how confident my kids are in their beliefs and how they don't just follow the crowd. These aren't the things I'm speaking of. it's really hard to describe in this format.