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Do you LOVE being married?


BlsdMama
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I do. The recent posts made me wonder if it's normal. ;)

 

I love who I'm married to, I think he inspires me to be a better person. I enjoy marriage, Sunday morning games, coffee together, inside jokes, just life I guess. Is it unusual?

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Yes.  I really like my husband.  I enjoy his company, talking to him, playing board/card games with him.  We have many similar interests, but not all.  We are both introverted so we seem to naturally give each other the right amount of space (which may make no sense, but it makes sense to me).

 

 

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I love my marriage when my husband is mentally healthy.

 

Because he struggles with chronic depression, there are times when things are rough. I still love him, but I want him well and I don't particularly enjoy the stress of his illness.

 

I think a lot of marriages are like that. Mental and physical health trials for either or both spouses, financial problems, children with behavioral challenges, difficult inlaws -- a lot of things can make marriage challenging. Still worthwhile in many cases, but not all rainbows and roses.

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We've gone through ups and downs but the rough patches have come as a result of external problems rather than something wrong with our relationship. "I'm not angry with you; I'm angry with the situation" is a phrase that one, the other, or both of us has said quite often over the years. I'm not sure why it's been God's plan for us to encounter so many stresses over the 16 years we've been married but it is what it is. Maybe I should change my avatar to a Weeble, LOL!

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Nope. Indifferent. Dont love it. Dont hate it. I like some of the advantages and dislike some of the annoyances.

 

Not going out of my way to end it, but don't run thru the door with joy anymore either.

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Yes. The stability has been just perfect for me. I grew up with drama, and sought that out when I was dating. So glad I got over that before I married.

 

For me getting married at 32 was ideal. I needed some extra time to experiment and explore, and when I was ready to settle down, I was really ready.

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Yes I love being married. I picked the right man for me and thoroughly enjoy living our lives together. But I could certainly see hating being married if I married the wrong man.

 

:iagree: 

 

Yes, but only to my guy.  I don't think I'd like any other.  In our case he picked me though.  And he was insistent.  Very insistent.  Very, very insistent.  And he had money to take me out to dinner (when I was a poor college student and dining halls served mystery meals) and on long walks/hikes.  He even gave in and became a cat lover.  Need I say more?  I love him!

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I feel the exact same way. Pretty much every aspect of my life is enriched by the participation of my sweet husband. I love being married to him.

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I love the man I'm married to, but I can definitely see the upsides to being single.

Yup.  But I can definitely see the up sides to being married as well.  

 

I like the stability of marriage.  I like the companionship.  I miss the autonomy of being single.  And yet I like how we share responsibilities in marriage.  I would hate marriage to the wrong man.  I love marriage to the right man - most of the time.  

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Yes I love being married!  :001_wub:

 

Marriage doesn't make me miss the autonomy of being single. I still feel very autonomous. If anything, having kids has made me less autonomous than being married has.

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I love being married to my husband more than I ever could have imagined. I love him so much more today than the day we married. No, things are not always perfect-- nothing worth it ever is, but I cannot imagine it any other way. We enjoy each other, love spending time together. He is my best friend and everything is better when we do it together. He is a wonderful husband and father, and I know I am very blessed to have him as my partner to do life with. The petty fights or frustrations are just that-- a drop in the bucket compared to the advantages of our marriage.

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I love the man I'm married to, but I can definitely see the upsides to being single.

 

 

Yup.  But I can definitely see the up sides to being married as well.  

 

I like the stability of marriage.  I like the companionship.  I miss the autonomy of being single.  And yet I like how we share responsibilities in marriage.  I would hate marriage to the wrong man.  I love marriage to the right man - most of the time.  

 

These sum it up for me.  (I can't seem to have an original thought lately!) 

 

I love my husband, love spending time with him.  We are a good team and provide a good balance.  We have learned a lot from each other.  We have gone through, are going through some difficult times together. We have seen things NOT turn out the way we expected, have had hopes and dreams not come to fruition together.  And we have had some wonderful times together.

 

But I was single for a long time, and I enjoyed living on my own too.  There are probably things I could get done more effectively if I didn't have to take another person's opinion into consideration, kwim?  So some things would be easier.  (And I don't mean to imply that we disagree a lot, but sometimes it just takes a long time to get things done when compromises have to be made.  Buying a car, choosing paint color.... stuff like that.)  Overall, those kinds of things are minor, really.  But it's one of the reasons I can't say I LOVE being married all the time, every minute of the day.

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I am not sure I understand the question correctly.

I love spending my life together with my DH - but I would love just living together without being legally married just as much.

 

Curious to those who miss autonomy of single days: what exactly do you miss?

I have, sometimes when the kids were younger, missed aspects of the time before I had children.

But aside from this, I don't see any advantages of being single. I have plenty of autonomy and can't think of anything I would do if I were single that I can't do as a married woman.

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I definitely do love being married and specifically to my husband.  I look forward to when he's retired and we get to be together all the time (it'll be a while... he's only 39 right now!).  I look at my parents (who are 68 and 70 and retired) and it makes me excited for my future.

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I love my husband and am glad we are together. I like family life and am very domestically oriented. However, I am not such a giant fan of the concept of marriage anymore. OTOH, I do think it is most beneficial for children to grow up with great stability, and marriage increases stability. But, I also think that if I had not intended to raise children, there would not have been much of a motive for being legally married. That is not to say I would not share my life with a domestic partner, and there is a good chance that partner would be so long-term there was little difference anyway, but still. The concept of marriage through most of history and most places in the world was an economic arrangement more than anything else. Romantic love as a basis for marriage is a fairly recent concept.

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I don't really consider my marriage much anymore. Maybe I would consider it more if it were a bad one or if I wasn't married. We are happy.

 

We've been together since we were all but kids (I was 19, he was 20) so I don't have much a frame of reference on adult life without a partner.

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I don't really consider my marriage much anymore. Maybe I would consider it more if it were a bad one or if I wasn't married. We are happy.

 

We've been together since we were all but kids (I was 19, he was 20) so I don't have much a frame of reference on adult life without a partner.

 

Yes, that's it - I can't imagine not having a partner anymore. We've been together for so long. I never had a single adult life so I have no reference for that.

 

I have plenty of autonomy so there's nothing I miss there. I guess if joint decision making was routinely difficult, then I might feel differently. A friend whose husband passed away talked about how life got, in some ways, easier after he died, and one of the things was that she could just decide to paint the living room. No discussions or negotiations. But I don't feel that in my life.

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I do. In my case though it was trial by fire and we had to get through some big trials in order to come together as an unbreakable team. I love my husband. I value his contributions to our marriage and lives and I don't know how I'd ever manage without him.

 

Things are never easy around here as we have multiple people with medical complexities under one roof and our days involve a lot of needing to work hard to have everyone at their best possible level of health. We regularly are told by outsiders that they don't know how we do what we do (the answer is we became good at it when we were given no other choice, we didn't pick it but we do what we have to do). Our days (and nights!) are often exhausting. Our marriage has gotten better with time though and I could not have a better partner in life. He loves me for me, supports me where I am weak, and gives me the fun and levity I need for us to be able to do what there is to do.

 

Marriage is a lot of work, a lot more than I fully understood when I got married. To be as blessed as I am in marriage though is, I feel, a rare gift.

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I think I'd realize just how much I love it if he was gone... Not trying to be funny, either.  Our marriage is intense, sometimes difficult, and feeling IN love is not always there.  But we do really, really love each other.  That has been born out of sacrifice and trials, though, in many ways.

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Dh and I have been married for 17 years. We've been through quite a bit in those years and I think each event has only brought us closer. I look forward to his texts/calls during the day while he is at work, and I still get happy when I hear his car pull up at the end of the day. He's not just my spouse though, he's truly my best friend. So, I honestly can't imagine my life without him at this point (and I have zero desire to be single again).

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Lots of people love being married. I wouldn't weigh a recent cluster of threads too heavily - sometimes one thread sets off another, similar thread. Plus, it's like anything else . . . you tend to complain more when you're unhappy with the service! 

 

 

 <snip>

 

Curious to those who miss autonomy of single days: what exactly do you miss?

 

<snip>

 

Dating other people, lol. I don't want to be with anyone else, but yeah, dating new people and having that first kiss and such was quite fun at times. 

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I'm also confused.  I'm not sure if the question pertains to my immediate marriage with DH, or the way I feel about being married in general?  I love being married to DH.  I'm not so sure I'd love being married to someone else.

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I am not sure I understand the question correctly.

I love spending my life together with my DH - but I would love just living together without being legally married just as much.

 

Curious to those who miss autonomy of single days: what exactly do you miss?

I have, sometimes when the kids were younger, missed aspects of the time before I had children.

But aside from this, I don't see any advantages of being single. I have plenty of autonomy and can't think of anything I would do if I were single that I can't do as a married woman.

 

When I was single, I traveled a fair bit.  Just decided where and when to go, and went.  I didn't have to take anyone else's opinions or desires into consideration, or be on anyone else's schedule.   Of course I had other constraints, like funding... but as a married couple we have those constraints too.

 

I don't know that I exactly miss being single.  I was happy enough as a single person, however, it didn't stop me from getting married so I don't guess I was completely satisfied.  But I was married and divorced by the time I was 25, and didn't meet my 2nd/permanent husband till I was 37.  By then I had given up the idea of ever being married.   It came as a surprise to me when it happened!  I don't regret it.  I think my life is better as a married person.  But it wasn't bad when I was a single person.   Good and bad in both states.

 

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I love the man I'm married to, but I can definitely see the upsides to being single.

Yup.  But I can definitely see the up sides to being married as well.  

 

I like the stability of marriage.  I like the companionship.  I miss the autonomy of being single.  And yet I like how we share responsibilities in marriage.  I would hate marriage to the wrong man.  I love marriage to the right man - most of the time.  

These sum it up for me.  (I can't seem to have an original thought lately!) 

 

I love my husband, love spending time with him.  We are a good team and provide a good balance.  We have learned a lot from each other.  We have gone through, are going through some difficult times together. We have seen things NOT turn out the way we expected, have had hopes and dreams not come to fruition together.  And we have had some wonderful times together.

 

But I was single for a long time, and I enjoyed living on my own too.  There are probably things I could get done more effectively if I didn't have to take another person's opinion into consideration, kwim?  So some things would be easier.  (And I don't mean to imply that we disagree a lot, but sometimes it just takes a long time to get things done when compromises have to be made.  Buying a car, choosing paint color.... stuff like that.)  Overall, those kinds of things are minor, really.  But it's one of the reasons I can't say I LOVE being married all the time, every minute of the day.

 

What they said. 

 

No. 

 

And I just deleted all the tmi explaining why :)

 

If it's all good in your marriage, great. If it isn't - oh well, it's not that abnormal.

 

:grouphug:

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Curious to those who miss autonomy of single days: what exactly do you miss?

I have, sometimes when the kids were younger, missed aspects of the time before I had children.

But aside from this, I don't see any advantages of being single. I have plenty of autonomy and can't think of anything I would do if I were single that I can't do as a married woman.

 

I was wondering this as well.  Maybe it's because DH and I have been together since we were 19 and I never really experienced being a true single adult?  I mean, I thought I was all grown up at 18, but now I now better. Maybe since most of my friends are also married?  The few single friends I have I don't envy, except maybe their freedom to travel.  But I think that has more to do with being childless than single.  

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I married my husband when I was 18 (he was 22)…celebrating 16 years this month. Best choice I ever made. It hasn't been all sunshine and butterflies, but boy do I love that man. He's my best friend, a wonderful head of our home, the softy when it comes to our boys (I'm the disciplinarian). He balances me and I balance him. I'm not just happily married, I'm content and secure in our marriage.

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I am not sure I understand the question correctly.

I love spending my life together with my DH - but I would love just living together without being legally married just as much.

 

Curious to those who miss autonomy of single days: what exactly do you miss?

I have, sometimes when the kids were younger, missed aspects of the time before I had children.

But aside from this, I don't see any advantages of being single. I have plenty of autonomy and can't think of anything I would do if I were single that I can't do as a married woman.

My husband is the furthest thing from controlling but sometimes I just don't want to consider someone else's feelings. If I want to listen to rock music and read a book and eat popcorn in bed that's going to bother him. If I want to spend the grocery money on a concert and eat ramen all week he might not be on board. I evidently dislike being considerate and kind, LOL.
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I like the kind of work that marriage is. It suits me. I hope to get to share it with someone who is the same because sharing it with someone who views marriage like a comfortable old sofa you keep so your lounge room isn't empty is not lovely.

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I like marriage and motherhood more than being single.  We got married when I was 20 and he was 26.  12 years later he had a crisis of faith, became and atheist and suffered clinical depression and a stunning personality change.  My marriage and parenting are extremely difficult and challenging but they're worth it. I'm content. We've been married 22 years.

 

I think a person's life can be just as rewarding, fulfilling and God-honoring without marriage and/or children.  I don't feel sorry for single people or couples who choose to remain childless. It wouldn't be for me, but I think it suits lots of people and I hope no one feels like they're less if they don't want marriage and or children.

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I'm also confused.  I'm not sure if the question pertains to my immediate marriage with DH, or the way I feel about being married in general?  I love being married to DH.  I'm not so sure I'd love being married to someone else.

 

This.

 

I love being married to Dh.  We definitely complement each other, he is okay with my introvert tendencies, and we have a very nice life together.

 

I've had one miserable marriage and I said in the other thread I would not get married again if something happened to dh.  I also know a lot more people who are unhappy or just eh in their marriages than those who truly love it.

 

So, I love being married in the specific, but not a big fan in the general.

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