Dying Pets and $$

[Farrar]

***UPDATE in #57 - the cat's still hanging in there, but happily now - thanks again for the words of support and advice, everyone***

 

So our 17 yo cat is really ill. He has been aging pretty steadily over the last few years, but always seemed pretty happy, even playful occasionally even though he was clearly unable to jump down from many things and perhaps going a bit blind. But a few days ago, he stopped eating, hid in a weird spot, hasn't moved much, has only urinated in his weird spot, etc.

 

So I took him to the vet today. And, honestly, I was pretty prepared for them to potentially tell me that he likely had something - perhaps kidney failure, which has taken a lot of cats I've known when they got older - and that there might be a few things we could try, but that if he was suffering after that, it might be better for us to end that suffering.

 

Instead, they wanted to do a ton of tests, x-rays, keep him in their hospital, etc. etc. I was like, whoa, that's going to be at least a thousand dollars. Do I really want to invest thousands in my arthritic, cataract having, slightly ornary, pees wherever the heck he likes sometimes cat? Don't get me wrong, we love this cat. Dh and I got this cat before we got married. He has seen us through our marriage, dh's recovery period, moving from NC, moving into the city, various jobs, having kids... He's been a fixture in our lives. But if it's his time I don't want to prolong that. He's been a pile of trouble in the last few years and I admit that I've had periods where he made me nuts and I wasn't so sure I loved him so much. We've figured out how to manage him better though, and I do feel really sad thinking about his passing away. But honestly, if it's his time, then I don't really want to prolong that with expensive interventions.

 

I agreed to do some bloodwork (the vet will call later), they rehydrated him, gave him a pain pill, and gave him an appetite encourager. It was not a cheap visit, but it was an amount I was willing to pay to see if we could get him well.

 

He's slightly better. He ate for the first time in days and drank a bunch of water. But he's still curled up in his weird spot, presumably peeing on the rug in there. And he has a weird smell still - beyond just the pee smell he's creating in the downstairs bathroom. And he's still not moving really. I'm not so hopeful.

 

Here's the dilemma. If the vet calls and there's some inexpensive (and by inexpensive, I don't mean cheap - I'll pay, I'll even potentially pay hundreds to help him live comfortably if it makes sense) solution to his misery, then hooray! We're on it. But ten to one this is going to be inconclusive anyway. So it'll be more tests, more hundreds of dollars for just the vague potential of answers without easing his suffering in a long term way at the very least.

 

But it's clear that I can't really go back there and be like, kill my cat. Because, honestly, I'm pretty sure that's how they'd see it. So basically I'll be stuck with a suffering cat who, if he's going to starve himself to death once that appetite encourager wears off, still has a good bit of fat on him to do so. Not to mention we'll be without our second half bath until he dies naturally. I don't know if I can go to another vet... we kept going to that vet because they were so much less aggressive about pushing more things on us than the other vets we tried. I can't imagine any other places are going to be somehow less judgemental.

 

But I can't be the last person who thinks this is just wrong, right? I mean, pet ownership can't only be for people who can plop down thousands on an elderly animal, right? Or maybe it just is now. Maybe by the standards of today, I'm just a horrible person. What should be done for a pet if it looks like they're suffering and they're probably near the end of their life? Am I just really out of touch here?

 

Sorry that got long. :(

[Ethel Mertz]

Farrar - When we lived in DC, we had the same issue with at least one of our elderly cats. We finally took the cat to the ASPCA, where they didn't push us about tests and we were able to euthanize our cat. We were with him until the end. I strongly suggest going there. 

[stephanier.1765]

I've found that low-cost clinics are much more sympathetic for this type of situation. I'm so sorry that you, your sweet pet, and your family are going through this.

[Pawz4me]

IMO you're not wrong, and IME not all vets are like that.  Not at all.

 

While I don't think there's any wrong or right in this situation, I personally wouldn't let him linger.  Unless it's something easily treatable then I would calmly tell the vet that you and your family have decided that it's time to let kitty go.  Or as calmly as you can under the circumstances.

 

And there are vets who "specialize" in home euthanasia.  It's more expensive than having it done at a vet's office, but the pet gets to go in the comfort of a familiar environment.  If you used one of those vets I feel sure they wouldn't question your decision.  Here's a website you may be able to use to find such a vet in your area.

 

 

I'm sorry.

[bolt.]

I would not let a vet pressure me into expensive end of life care for a cat. I would make it as comfy as possible for as long as possible at home -- then call ahead to another vet, discribe the symptoms and say *specifically* that you think it is suffering too much to carry on, and you want advice about euthanasia.

 

The vet is *not* going to say the word first -- unless things are absolutely dire. It's a hard thing to say, and customers are not ready to hear it until they are ready. Every vet is going to carry on trying to help... It's what they do.

[Farrar]

Sorry about the cat :(

 

Just taking into consideration the cat and the adult owners, I wouldn't spend unlimited amounts of money on a pet at the end of its life. A good vet shouldn't treat you poorly whatever you decide, btw.

 

The complication for me, as always, is the kids. Are your children attached to the cat ? I did spend a stupid amount of money on my girls' pets towards the end of their lives, because I couldn't bear not to.

 

As you rightly say, the more tests, the more options, the more tests etc. Is the cat in pain ?  Do you feel the cat is ready ?

 

Seriously, maybe another vet. They should - and in my experience can be- sensitive to all these issues and support you in whatever choice you make, whether that is extensive treatment, just pain management treatment, or making the decision not to have the cat suffer anymore.

 

Fwiw, moral duty to a pet, imo, changes towards the end of its life to care and comfort. Younger, generally well animals - OK there's a case there for more intervention/more responsibility to treat. IMO.

 

The cat is definitely suffering. I've honestly never seen him act this way. I've seen him hurt, I've seen him stung by a couple of bees, I've seen him swallow human medication that was accidentally dropped, I've seen him with cat colds looking a bit miserable, but I've never seen him behave like this. I have no idea if he's "ready" - I've never, as an adult or even a teen, had a pet at this stage of life. I was really young when my childhood dog died and then moved out just out of college when our cat died.

 

The kids are not really attached to the cat. We talked about the possibility that this might be the end for the cat and they at least claimed to be bummed, but honestly, they are afraid of the cat. He's never hurt them - I think once maybe BalletBoy accidentally stepped on his tail and he hissed and scratched him very mildly, so it's not like that, but the cat stalks their food all the time and aggressively lies in wait to push past them when they open the door to go in and out. He has always seen them as targets for getting what he wants so it's not a super emotional relationship.

 

I think I felt very judged at the vet's. :( I spent $300 on a dying cat and I still felt judged. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it though. But I did have to push for less expensive options. I hate that they don't want to tell you the cost of this stuff either. It matters! No one has pet insurance!

[NorthwestMom]

 

 

And there are vets who "specialize" in home euthanasia.  It's more expensive than having it done at a vet's office, but the pet gets to go in the comfort of a familiar environment.  If you used one of those vets I feel sure they wouldn't question your decision.  Here's a website you may be able to use to find such a vet in your area.

 

 

 

When our 14yo dog had a brain tumor, the in-home euthanasia specialist pressured us to get an MRI so we would "know what we're dealing with". We already knew he had a brain tumor that causes seizures and blindness.  :glare:   I declined, and complained to our regular vet, who had referred her to us. We needed up using our regular vet when it was time, and it was as good an experience as it could be.

 

I'm sorry about your cat. I'd handle it just like you are inclined to do.

[Mergath]

If your cat is near the end of what sounds like a long and happy life, there's no sense spending a ton of money to do tests and procedures that are probably scary and painful and likely won't extend his life much anyway.  I would be firm with the vet, and say, "I love Flufferkins, but it's apparent to me that his quality of life has deteriorated, and at this point I'm only interested in making sure he doesn't have pain near the end.  Is it possible to do that at home, or would it be better to have him put to sleep now?"  Some vets, sadly, care more about money than they do about their patients, so if the vet gives you any more crap I'd look for a new vet.  

 

I'm sorry about your kitty. :(

[stephanier.1765]

I think I felt very judged at the vet's. :( I spent $300 on a dying cat and I still felt judged. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it though. But I did have to push for less expensive options. I hate that they don't want to tell you the cost of this stuff either. It matters! No one has pet insurance!

 

That is so wrong! The vets we use always tell me upfront what everything costs. Once I asked for a specific test and they made sure to tell me it was $14 so I could decide if I still wanted to do that or not. While $14 was worth the piece of mind to me, I was glad they were specific in case the day comes when the money really is too much.

[Mergath]

The cat is definitely suffering. I've honestly never seen him act this way. I've seen him hurt, I've seen him stung by a couple of bees, I've seen him swallow human medication that was accidentally dropped, I've seen him with cat colds looking a bit miserable, but I've never seen him behave like this. I have no idea if he's "ready" - I've never, as an adult or even a teen, had a pet at this stage of life. I was really young when my childhood dog died and then moved out just out of college when our cat died.

 

The kids are not really attached to the cat. We talked about the possibility that this might be the end for the cat and they at least claimed to be bummed, but honestly, they are afraid of the cat. He's never hurt them - I think once maybe BalletBoy accidentally stepped on his tail and he hissed and scratched him very mildly, so it's not like that, but the cat stalks their food all the time and aggressively lies in wait to push past them when they open the door to go in and out. He has always seen them as targets for getting what he wants so it's not a super emotional relationship.

 

I think I felt very judged at the vet's. :( I spent $300 on a dying cat and I still felt judged. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it though. But I did have to push for less expensive options. I hate that they don't want to tell you the cost of this stuff either. It matters! No one has pet insurance!

 

Given his age and the symptoms you've described, based on my experience with cats it sounds like he's probably ready. :(  I think everyone here will understand and agree if you decide it's time.  :grouphug:

[SamanthaCarter]

I understand. It's hard and expensive to keep an elderly animal comfortable and well cared for health-wise. You love them and don't want to resent them.  We had an elderly greyhound who was having trouble with her back legs late in her life. The last time I took her to the vet for her difficulty walking she had visibly lost weight in the last few weeks, and her feeble-ness was contributing to her slipping and hurting her legs. It was a miserably cold evening. When the vet saw her and weighed her she was certain there was something more going on than just age and hurting legs. She very compassionately explained to me that she would do anything I wanted to find the underlying cause for the weight loss and frailty, but made pretty clear that my dear dog had reached the end of any good quality of life. She had a very nonjudgmental attitude about euthanasia. My dog was so pitiful and tired that I didn't even want to ask her to go back through the cold and the getting in the van to go home. I went ahead with it (euthanize) and it was hard, but made so much better by the vet staff. 

 

Not all vets are alike. They do have to tread lightly, because for some people, the pet is their life, their child. And to suggest not doing everything medically possible might be unacceptable. 

[Word Nerd]

Could you take it to a different vet to have it put to sleep? It's hard enough to make that decision without feeling like someone's judging you for it. 

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

It's my understanding that animals do their best mask their pain so as not to appear weak to their predators. So, if your cat IS showing signs up pain, my guess is that that he is really suffering. I would take him to the vet and ask for pain management or ask him to be euthanized. It's really the humane thing to do and our pets deserve us to help them have a peaceful passing.

[hornblower]

I'm no help. My accounting program keeps sending me messages flagging 'unusual spending on vet care'. 

I just spent close to a grand on a oral surgery/extraction on my ancient kitty & she died at home less than 2 weeks later. But the reason I did it was that if it had worked, she probably could have had another 3-6 mos or more of life.  I wasn't sure about the surgery working but it was either do it or have her pts & at the end, I did want to try. Now I'm a bit wracked by guilt thinking I made her suffer for nothing but at the time it seemed like the right thing & for that matter, she actually was recovering very well & I thought we turned the corner when she collapsed and suddenly died...   But she had lived a long time with lots of medical issues (chronic renal failure, arthritis in her spine, tumor on her bladder, ). 

My assessment was always - does she still have good days? Does she seem happy? Are there more happy moments than sad/painful moments?  Are issues readily treatable?
She was on heavy duty pain meds for years, as well as other meds & though her life was mostly about sleeping on her heated cushion or sleeping on our laps, it was still a good life, in my opinion. She was also a cat that was easy to medicate & it didn't seem like it was a stressful battle to provide her treatment - that is an issue too.

There is a Quality of Life scale that you can use to run through whether hospice care is still appropriate or whether euthanasia should be considered instead.

http://www.pawspice.com/downloads/QualityofLifeScale.pdf


I have 3 senior dogs. They're all already on meds. They all have some chronic issue. They're all walking vet bills; I'm at my vets more often than anywhere else....

 

[fairfarmhand]

IME, our large animal vets have seemed much more understanding of cost vs. quality of life real practical questions. They also were great about taking good care of our animals and going above and beyond when needed. However, they get it that many families just cant afford gobs of vet bills.

 

Whatever you decide, your vet should understand.

 

ETA: Also, our vet always tells us how much stuff costs before they do them. They also will run several scenarios by us, ranking them by price or what's best for the animal.

[liber]

Probably, not a popular opinion but if it was us, we would be putting the cat down. We don't believe in spending lots of money on our pets that way. I just can't see spending more money on vet bills than on our own healthcare.

[clarkacademy]

No I will not do any tests etc please put my cat down, thank you. I would say nothing beyond that

[I talk to the trees]

 

I think I felt very judged at the vet's. :( I spent $300 on a dying cat and I still felt judged. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it though. But I did have to push for less expensive options. I hate that they don't want to tell you the cost of this stuff either. It matters! No one has pet insurance!

 

I am so very sorry about your cat.  :grouphug:  End of life issues with our pets stink! We just switched vets because I couldn't take any more of the ugly, judgmental attitude. It seems like the focus is on "designer pet care" instead of pet wellness. When I declined a dental for our 13.5 year old dog because I didn't want to put her through anesthesia, the vet we left told me, "Anesthesia isn't that bad for them. I can get any animal through surgery. You're just not providing proper after-care." :glare: I refrained from punching her on the nose, but I decided then and there to leave that practice!

[Katy]

If you feel judged by your vet, I second the opinion that you should go to the ASPCA if you know it's time.  They are often less expensive anyway.

 

I can't tell you how you know when it's time, you just know.  Sounds like if you're not there yet you will be in the next few days.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: I'm sorry,the situation is diffficult enough without your vet adding to your grief at such a heartbreaking time.  Sadly, I don't think his attitude is uncommon today.

[Tammyla]

I wanted to add, most of pet-lovers put off accepting what others can clearly see for as long as possible...before considering the idea of what so many consider the loving thing to do.  

 

Honestly, I know I was guilty of just not being ready to consider letting go or entertaining the sad reality that it would be my decision.  It was very, very hard.  I had to find another vet, who offered reassurance that I waited long beyond what he considered necessary, as he could objectively see my pet was suffering. :grouphug:

 

I wish you peace as you find your way.

[OneStepAtATime]

Goodness that awful.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   BTDT.  I agree with a poster up thread, animals usually mask pain as a protection mechanism from predators.  If he is obviously in pain then he is suffering a great deal.  He is elderly.  Poking and prodding him will boost the vet's income but I doubt it will do a whole lot for your pet besides making him miserable.  Be firm, tell them you want to euthanize your cat whom you love very much, and if you want to see him or be with him during the procedure be firm about that, too.  So sorry.

[Arctic Bunny]

I'm so sorry! :( I do agree with your gut feeling, though.

[Farrar]

Could you take it to a different vet to have it put to sleep? It's hard enough to make that decision without feeling like someone's judging you for it. 

 

Maybe not. We already drive to the suburbs for this vet because they seemed less into charging us an arm and a leg for interventions and tests we didn't think were needed - and that was with a healthy pet. The last city vet I tried refused to give him his shots because he "seemed a little agitated" and wanted to put him on anesthesia for it! And then they still charged me a ton for the visit! At least at this vet they were like, um, of course he doesn't need anesthesia for a shot. He's fine.

 

But I'll probably use the ASPCA suggestion up thread. Thanks for those who suggested it. :(

 

He did perk up a little. He stood up and tried to meow and ate some wet food. He went back to his smelly hiding place though. Ugh. I may have to remove him so I can disinfect that bathroom and let him start over. I guess it's possible that he'll turn a corner. I'm definitely going to give him some time to see if he'll continue to perk up.

[goldberry]

I am so sorry about your cat.  Fortunately, the vet for our last two kitties was very understanding, and said, "here is what we can do, here is what it will cost, here is what it will basically give your cat" (as far as "this will extend life a bit but not really cure the situation".)  What would you like us to do?

 

I never felt judged.  I have heard from one vet that they have to be very careful about asking or suggesting euthanasia, because some clients go off the rails at the mere mention of it and will accuse the vet of wanting to kill the animal.  Maybe your vet is just waiting for you to bring it up?

 

Sorry...I put a very old cat down like that once and it was difficult. :grouphug:

[OH_Homeschooler]

Ugh, I just went through this entire dilemma. Cat was diagnosed with kidney failure recently, and I tried as hard as I could to help him feel better. I bought the special food, gave him his injections. When they sent me home with him after he was first diagnosed I really felt like I didn't have a choice, I had to do what they told me and we'd keep him alive for as long as we could (and they said it could be several years, so it seemed like it was worth it).

 

He had good days and bad days, but after about a month he seemed to have just bad days. He wasn't eating anything and had gotten very weak. I felt like I must have been doing something wrong, and there was more I should try to do, but I went to bed one night knowing I had to put him down the next day. My husband called the vet (and I too had considered going to a new vet for this but we ended up going to our normal one) and told me they would assess him that morning. I didn't like the sound of that, because I couldn't go on seeing him suffer if they recommended a whole bunch more things I should try. So he called them back for me (I was such a mess!) and explained that we couldn't go on like that anymore. 

 

So I don't know if the vet would have tried to suggest anything new, or if they would have agreed based on his condition that putting him down was the best thing. But from the second I walked in with him, everyone was so kind and no one questioned anything. So if things seem that bad for your kitty, then I think it is okay to just let the vet know you are committed to putting him down.

 

It was also one of the hardest decisions I've made as an adult. I still feel like I both waited too long and not long enough to do it. It's just a hard thing no matter what. Hang in there.

 

 

[Stacia]

:grouphug:

[Pawz4me]

Maybe not. We already drive to the suburbs for this vet because they seemed less into charging us an arm and a leg for interventions and tests we didn't think were needed - and that was with a healthy pet. The last city vet I tried refused to give him his shots because he "seemed a little agitated" and wanted to put him on anesthesia for it! And then they still charged me a ton for the visit! At least at this vet they were like, um, of course he doesn't need anesthesia for a shot. He's fine.

 

But I'll probably use the ASPCA suggestion up thread. Thanks for those who suggested it. :(

 

He did perk up a little. He stood up and tried to meow and ate some wet food. He went back to his smelly hiding place though. Ugh. I may have to remove him so I can disinfect that bathroom and let him start over. I guess it's possible that he'll turn a corner. I'm definitely going to give him some time to see if he'll continue to perk up.

 

Just FYI -- SubQ fluids will often make even a very ill cat rally for a day or two.

[Farrar]

Just FYI -- SubQ fluids will often make even a very ill cat rally for a day or two.

 

Yes, the vet didn't say that, but I did figure. I don't have much hope, but he let me pick him up and he almost purred, so that's something.

 

Thanks for all the support, everyone.

[Reefgazer]

Sorry about your cat; tough situation.

 

I agree with the bolded, and let them judge.  Although I don't think most vets are judge-y about that; I'm pretty sure there were vets in the practice we go to that thought I was ridiculous for not putting my cat down.   

 

I had a cat (middle aged, not old) who got cancer that went to his brain and caused seizures.  I didn't have the guts to put him down and paid *thousands* to keep him alive.  I regret I couldn't screw up the courage to have him humanely put down - it was a huge expense for us and suffering for him that I could have avoided.  Farrar, I'd do what you need to do and what you think you should do after thoughtful consideration.

When our 14yo dog had a brain tumor, the in-home euthanasia specialist pressured us to get an MRI so we would "know what we're dealing with". We already knew he had a brain tumor that causes seizures and blindness.  :glare:   I declined, and complained to our regular vet, who had referred her to us. We needed up using our regular vet when it was time, and it was as good an experience as it could be.

 

I'm sorry about your cat. I'd handle it just like you are inclined to do.

 

[ondreeuh]

I'm so sorry. End of life decisions are so hard for me too. We do not do heroic measures with our pets, which is always an uncomfortable conversation to have with a vet. We had a cat that was clearly sickly and we gave it food and water until it was too far gone, and then dh called up a new vet and asked if they would euthanize the cat. They gave him no grief for it. We had a dog who was old and pretty suddenly stopped eating and drinking, and we did the same thing. Now we are in the situation again with another dog but she is still happy when she's warm so it's not so clear cut. She is incontinent so she has to be outside, which is ok in the 6 months of the year we have decent weather but mean when it's below freezing. Last year I did take her to the vet and spent a few hundred on tests to try to figure out why she was incontinent, then bought expensive meds which made her really sore and only marginally improved the problem. Last winter I kept her indoors in a kennel at night and got up 2-3 times a night to let her in and out of the yard ... And I still had to wash bedding every morning. I'm not doing that again, but it was 20 degrees when I woke up this morning and she was shivering (she's not really smart enough to use the doghouse). She is my wannabe hunter and today we had a dead baby beaver in the yard (!!!) that she most likely killed, so she seems peppy enough. I feel pretty selfish because I'm tired of being inconvenienced, but I also don't want her to be cold all winter.

 

Your poor cat is so much worse off, with what sounds like real misery, so I wouldn't hesitate to call for a vet who is willing to euthanize. If they know up front if that is what you're prepared to do, then hopefully there will be no judgment or guilt trip involved.

[AimeeM]

I'm agreeing with some others that I would try another vet. Not all vets are like that - even if you think he/she is the "least aggressive" and the "least pushy".

 

When Luke (our late GSD) was clearly struggling, I took him to a vet recommended by our trainer as having a lot of experience with this specific breed and their potential medical issues. I was prepared for her to push us for surgeries, etc. 

She didn't. Instead she started with the most conservative (steroids, antibiotics, pain medication). When that didn't work, she warned us ahead of time that the more aggressive antibiotics were definitely $$$ (hundreds, just for the month or two), combined with some other medications and a special diet. We DID go ahead with the more aggressive, pricey, treatment, but he was young.

When THAT didn't work. She told us that she COULD recommend an exploratory surgery, but she honestly wasn't comfortable recommending it because he had deteriorated to a point where even if she found something else, that hadn't been treated, the odds were great that we would be spending a ton of money on the surgery to look for something else, but he would be too far gone to do anything to treat it, and she didn't want us to feel pressured into laying that kind of cash when the odds in his favor weren't very good.

We opted to euthanize our beautiful barely 4 year old GSD. It was the hardest thing I've ever done... but I can't imagine that we would do anything differently.

 

I do NOT believe you are a bad pet owner for not wanting to spend a ton of money on your elderly, ailing pet. Not at all. 

[Spryte]

I'm so sorry about your cat.  It sounds like it might be time to let go soon.  I don't think a vet should be pressuring you at this point, and even if they find out what's wrong - what type of quality of life will your kitty have?  How much hope that this problem would be fixed before another arose?  There are so many questions, and very few good answers when a pet is that age.  

 

I did recently hear about a vet in the suburbs who does in-home euthanasia, if you decide to go that route, I can get the name for you.  The person who mentioned her said she was very kind and compassionate.  I'm not positive she can practice in DC though, we're in VA.

 

Sending you warm thoughts, and hoping you find the best answer for all of you soon.   :grouphug:

[Garga]

Am at McDonalds and no time to read the other replies, so I'm sorry if it's already been said, but here's what I've found about vets.

 

I have had to put 5 different cats to sleep over the years. I've discovered that vets NEVER EVER offer to euthanize the cat. EVER. They wait for you to bring it up. I think it's cruel of them to do that to owners. It was terrible to have to be the one to say, "Um...what about putting the cat down?" It was painful to get those words out.

 

As soon as I said it, though, and with 2 different vets, they changed courses. "Yes, that would probably be a good option at this point."

 

It seems like they're just not allowed to offer to put the animals to sleep anymore. They wait for you to ask for it. And in the meanwhile, they do all the tests that costs just as much as human tests, but there is no health insurance.

 

After the 4th cat that I had to put down after running tests and all the DRAMA of it, I finally said immediately for the 5th, "Let's just put him down." That time the vet gave me a little push back, because we did NOT run a bunch of tests. At the first sign of issues for my 15 year old cat I said, "Let's just put him down." But after I said to the vet, "I've been down this road before. The cat suffers through the tests, we treat him for a little bit, and he dies after a bunch of interventions anyway. I want him to go peacefully." They did what I asked without judging or drama.

 

Of course, I bawled my eyes out and it was terribly sad, but I do not believe in making cats go through all thee testing and treatments at the end of life. It really takes away from their quality of life. Let the sweetie go in peace.

 

So, without having read other replies, just tell the vet, "We won't do tests or treatments for our very old cat. Please, can we just let her go peacefully and without pain?"

[kitten18]

I'm sorry about your kitty.

 

Letting go of an old kitty who is obviously miserable and in pain is the right thing to do.

[creekland]

There's not much more I can say as I merely agree with the others.  I suspect the vet is being overly cautious assuming you don't want to hear the worst.

 

:grouphug:  Sorry about your cat.  I detest these end of life decisions, but agree that they are necessary.

[Farrar]

He definitely perked up a little, but is still hiding. I had to take him out so the cat urine smell wouldn't get completely out of hand and replace all the towels and the rug in there with old ones. Dh and I agreed last night that unless the vet calls with some great news today, we're going to take him to the ASPCA on Friday. :(

 

Thanks, everyone.

[Wabi Sabi]

We have been through something similar.  I ended up calling another vet and upfront asked to schedule a euthanasia for an elderly, sick pet. I didn't just schedule an appointment, I made it clear from the beginning that I specifically needed to put the pet down.  Both times I was able to bring the pet to the vet at the scheduled time and was never questioned or made to feel bad at all. 

[clarkacademy]

I am usually a very sympathetic person not sure what got into me yesterday :( Just tired of every medical practice I think! I am so sorry you are dealing with this and yes it is best to let go of kitty. In reality quality of life is for all and I wouldn't wanna live beyond my quality either. You are paying them don't let them bully you. All the money in the world is not gonna bring back that good health and why make it suffer for longer. Do not feel badly you are doing the best thing. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[threedogfarm]

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat.  It's so hard to let go of an animal that has been with you since before you had children.  There's so much history there.

 

I will pass on what our large animal vet said when I made the decision to put my daughter's beloved pony down last fall in the hopes that it will offer you some comfort, "I never hear owners say that they wish they had waited a little longer before deciding to put down their animal, but I often hear people regret that they had not done it sooner."

 

 

 

[fairfarmhand]

Am at McDonalds and no time to read the other replies, so I'm sorry if it's already been said, but here's what I've found about vets.

 

I have had to put 5 different cats to sleep over the years. I've discovered that vets NEVER EVER offer to euthanize the cat. EVER. They wait for you to bring it up. I think it's cruel of them to do that to owners. It was terrible to have to be the one to say, "Um...what about putting the cat down?" It was painful to get those words out.

 

As soon as I said it, though, and with 2 different vets, they changed courses. "Yes, that would probably be a good option at this point."

 

It seems like they're just not allowed to offer to put the animals to sleep anymore. They wait for you to ask for it. And in the meanwhile, they do all the tests that costs just as much as human tests, but there is no health insurance.

 

 

We flat out asked our vet about our 7 mo LGD puppy who got VERY sick. We said, "If this was your dog, what would YOU be doing." He recommended putting him down. Again, large animal vet. It stunk. We not only lost a dog that we loved, but we'd already sunk over a thousand $$$ in the dog. But there was little we could do.

[CupOCoffee]

So sorry to hear about your cat!  I JUST had to put down a cat (a 2 year old) for FIP; she's hung on for about 4 months since diagnosis, but it was obvious that it was time to let her go. Our vet cried with us and hugged with us...it was so unbelievable.  YOU are the one to make the decision for your beloved pet, not the vet or any of the staff!  If you and your family truly feel it's time, do what you need to do: you won't regret it.

 

We also have a cat with kidney disease (also 2 years old) whom we've been treating with sub-q fluids for coming up on one year.  We do this because 1) he is young and is fighting: he's actually doing fantastic, 2) I get the fluids and supplies CHEAP at work.  If I have to pay the vets prices for the fluids, lines, needles etc., I would not be able to.

 

Everyone is different in what they can do for pets and no one should ever be bullied into spending what they don't have!  We do have pet insurance on our cats, and it does help slightly.

 

((hugs)) to you and your fur baby!

 

~coffee~

[SamanthaCarter]

You all are making me cry. Thanks. :/

[Mommyof4ks]

If you have a vet that specializes in farm animals and treats pets too, then I would go there. We have a vet like that, and he is realistic about the end of life for animals. He even told us a few years ago that if our dog were his dog he would put him down, because he is suffering, and that is no way to live. We did out her down without guilt knowing that it was the better choice than letting her suffer and die naturally which could have taken a couple of months. She was already spending her days sleeping and growling at the everyone. A vet should not make you feel guilty for wanting to put your cat down, not a 17 yr old sick cat.

[Ottakee]

I agree with the seeking a large animal vet that also does pets.  I am sorry for what the vet put you through.

 

We switched vets after the new vet in the office made me feel like dirt for putting down a cat instead of doing expensive surgery----it was a semi feral barn cat that would need its leg amputated and even then there were unknowns.  If I didn't care, I wouldn't have brought it in to the vet to be humanely put down...........so don't make me feel worse.

 

We have only had to put one dog down but have had to make the decision to put down 5 horses (the result of having senior horses for my special needs daughter) and it is never easy but I have not regretted any of the decisions.  For me, I am on the earlier rather than later camp when the quality of life is in question.

[Lanny]

Spending tons of money on a cat that old would not seem to be a wise thing to do and might not improve the quality of life of the cat or extend his life.  If and when we believe one of our pets is suffering and their quality of life cannot be improved, then it is time for the vet to euthanize them. We had to have our Old English Sheepdog (she moved with me from Texas) put to sleep in 1997 after she had a stroke. 2  other dogs just couldn't be restored to a good quality of life.  A good vet will understand that one does not have unlimited sums of money to spend, trying to help a pet that is so old. These are always decisions that are terribly hard for the family that loves the pet.

[Farrar]

I can't imagine I could find a large animal vet around here. Maybe there are though... the police have horses, after all?

 

I tried to look on the SCPA site for here and nothing about euthanasia, but I have a friend who said her vet is good about it. He's not suffering so much at the moment, having gotten his perk up from the fluids and eaten a little, so I'm in no rush.

[Liz CA]

I can't imagine I could find a large animal vet around here. Maybe there are though... the police have horses, after all?

 

I tried to look on the SCPA site for here and nothing about euthanasia, but I have a friend who said her vet is good about it. He's not suffering so much at the moment, having gotten his perk up from the fluids and eaten a little, so I'm in no rush.

 

If there is a place with livestock in driving distance, you could check who their vet is, call him and find out when he is making the next farm/ranch call and bring the cat over for euthanasia. At least this is how we do it here but I don't know if you live in a large metro area and can find any farms or ranches in the vicinity.

 

If the above is not feasible, I would call around to find out end of life care philosophies of other vets.

[umsami]

My first cat got out and got attacked by a dog.  She had adopted me long before I ever even met my husband.  DS1 and DS2 were super attached to her.  

 

We finally found her three days later, huddled under somebody's porch.  We picked her up and took her straight to the emergency vet.  They gave her an IV, some meds, and tried to warm her…and then told me she was very ill, and likely would not survive.  They were willing to try, but said we were looking at thousands of dollars.  Did I want to euthanize her (which was their recommendation)?    I finally said O.K. and they said they'd bring her in to say goodbye.  She died before she even reached me.  I honestly think she chose to leave then to spare my the guilt.

 

Emergency vet bill was still over $1,000.

 

If it were me, I would let your kids know that it was time for your cat to pass on.  Maybe read Cynthia Rylant's "Cat Heaven" to her…tell her thank you for all the love she gave your family.