Thoughts on lingerie showers?

[SKL]

1) Yuck (IMHO).

 

2) The 15yo could buy a gift card or non-risque item, but if she attends she will have to look at what everyone else buys.  It should be an adult-only (or at least no jail-bait) party.  I would have been beyond awkward if I had to go to something like that as a teen.

 

3) I have never been to a lingerie party (not sure if they do those around here), but I have been at bridal showers where a minority of people bought lingerie.  It was embarrassing for some but at least it wasn't what the whole party was about.

 

4) I can't imagine anyone selecting underwear for me, or anything in anticipation of *my* wedding night.  Maybe I am weird.

[Stars]

I agree with all the posters who say that lingerie showers can be fun -- as long as they are kept small and include maybe just the bridesmaids and close friends.  I have found them to be tacky when the guests were trying to embarrass the bride with very shocking gifts, but I think it's sweet when everyone just wants to give the bride nice things to enjoy in her marriage.  Around here, somebody squeamish about the nature of the gifts might bring something more modest (like comfy p.j.s or a plush robe) "to cook breakfast in". 

 

I wouldn't expect a 15yo to attend, though, regardless of her wedding-party status.

[HS Mom in NC]

@Peaceful chaos

 

The lingerie (black lace skimpy teddy) given to me by my MIL was not given to me at a bridal shower.  I didn't have one because I hate them.  She gave it to me in the hustle and bustle before the wedding while I was hanging out with the flower girl.  I had no idea what was in the box and you would think she would've had sense enough to give it to me when a young child wasn't right there with me. Of course, most people would think it inappropriate for a MIL to give her DIL sex clothes EVER.

[Melissa in Australia]

What is MORE awkward is when your mom takes you shopping for lingerie for your wedding night ;) I know these things! LOL

 

eta: I was 19 when I married. She said I deserved to have something pretty. I don't find the party idea any different.

:lol:  :lol: :lol:  :lol:  

That reminded me. My grandmother gave me some lingerie for my wedding night. I never ever wore it . I was 18.

[Melissa in Australia]

What is MORE awkward is when your mom takes you shopping for lingerie for your wedding night ;) I know these things! LOL

 

eta: I was 19 when I married. She said I deserved to have something pretty. I don't find the party idea any different.

:lol:  :lol: :lol:  :lol:  

That reminded me. My grandmother gave me some lingerie for my wedding night. I never ever wore it . I was 18.

[Plink]

I have no problem with lingere showers (although I'm a practical girl and appreciated my household shower much more). What I do have an issue with is inviting a 15 year old to participate in such a party. That is inappropriate.

 

It is awkward tor the kid to be there. It is also awkward for the bride and her similarly-aged friends to have to tiptoe around a little kid at that kind of party.

 

Have her buy some lovely lotions to drop off and schedule an unmoveable appointment for that day. Everyone will appreciate the thoughtfulness of keeping the party focused on age-appropriate attendees.

[Joanne]

I am not a fan of them but they are common and not odd.

 

I am far too utilitarian and practical for that kind of shower. I think a new couple, especially young adult ones, need practical support.

 

It's likely they have the sex thing, um, equipped.

[SKL]

Yeah, Victoria's Secret is not a place I ever desire to enter.  My sister buys me [decent] pajamas there for Christmas, and a couple times I had to go do an exchange because the tops are too tight for my comfort level.  Not the end of the world, but I don't enjoy the experience.

 

I had a boss who used to take a day off work to take his teen daughter school shopping.  One late summer day we were meeting with a (male) client, and Boss was bemoaning the prices of underwear at Victoria's Secret.  I wanted to disappear.  (I was a lot younger then.)

[mommaduck]

Considering it was my HUSBAND's AUNT that gave me my first (and only) collection of thongs and went shopping with me for something to wear my wedding night (VS...it was a very nice and tasteful set)...and I went and helped a friend find something for her and her soon to be DH. Maybe it's because I lean towards clothing and it's part of what I do. I've helped a decent amount of women find appropriate underpinnings (necessary when fitting and altering formal wear...you want them to be supported properly). Those two partial sentences come down to that it doesn't bother me PERSONALLY.

 

However (big however), I do believe it is something that should be between very close friends, tight knit family that can joke that way with one another, and/or for people that are comfortable with it. I have one friend that I would never invite to such a shower for any of our mutual friends; such things make her uncomfortable and we all know it. There are people I would not be comfortable around at such a party. There are select friends that I would have a BLAST with at such a party. 

 

I think I take the most issue with the way "teen bride" was thrown about as though the bride was fifteen and needed parental permission. I was nineteen. Technically teens, but I was an ADULT, not a highschool teenager. The bride in the OP is eighteen...she's an adult. She deserves to be respected and treated as such. She's getting married just like any other adult bride. Yes, she probably should keep the guests to the adult category for such a shower...on the other hand, the person managing may have felt like the OP's daughter would feel left out if she wasn't invited because of her age instead of invited based on her relationship to the bride. This is an opportunity to classy and gracious....either decline politely and send a gift card or show up and bring a nice basket with candles and other non-lingerie items for a romantic evening with a gift card to a store. It depends upon how much she can take or not of the potential for innuendos and a bit of raunchy joking. Honestly, women for centuries talked amoungst themselves. This is how we learn and how we band together. If she's not ready for it (and I totally understand...I have a fifteen year old dd and I would probably have her send a gift and stay home), then you figure out how to handle it graciously (we are teaching them to be adults and being gracious is one of those traits they need). I would not think less of a person for having a shower such as this (the bride may or may not be aware of it...some showers are surprises). I've seen women of all classes have these kinds of parties and I've also seen women of all classes decline them from time to time.

[Heather in Neverland]

My mother threw me a personal shower although it was called a bridal tea. It was just me, my bridesmaids, my mom and my MIL. It was lovely. Yes, lingerie was involved. So was tea and cakes and beautiful floral arrangements. It wasn't the least bit icky or weird. I was also 26 yo at the time. I'm not sure why it is so weird for your closest girl friends to buy you some cute nighties.

 

But then again, I love Victorias Secret and go shopping there with my mother every chance I get. My mom is like my BF. I can talk to her about anything including sex so receiving a pretty nightie as a gift from her didn't faze me.

[SKL]

LOL, I would have died if my mom gave me "sexy" undies, especially in front of anyone else.  I almost couldn't survive getting my first "training bra."  Blah.  ;)  I do realize I'm probably near the extreme of these things.

[SKL]

My poor mom, by the way.  I was the oldest daughter, and I'm sure she looked forward to all those special mom-daughter moments (which I could not bear).  She did get lucky with her youngest daughter (after 6 tries).  ;)

[Camelfeet]

I don't think its tacky.  I've never been to a personal shower where this is a thing though.

 

The first christmas after I was married my mom bought me a "gag" basket full of sex toys and products.  It was so embarrassing.  I'm not sure what she was thinking.  I will never ever ever do that to my kids.

 

I'm surprised so many people wear lingerie!  I think sex clothes are useless and get in the way.  

[HRAAB]

I don't find them icky or tacky or inappropriate or immoral or whatever, but I personally wouldn't want one.  I like usable things, and I don't find lingerie very usable.  Wearing one of dh's shirts seems to have the same affect.  :laugh: I've gone to a couple and just given a gift certificate because I wouldn't have a clue how to pick out lingerie for another woman.  I might buy something too big and offend her.  They were still fun events, though.

 

The issue seems to be the fact that a 15 yr old girl is invited and that could prove to be uncomfortable.  I would have her go the gift card route or maybe a bath basket.  If she's extremely uncomfortable, could she tactfully excuse herself from the event?  

[PeacefulChaos]

@Peaceful chaos

 

The lingerie (black lace skimpy teddy) given to me by my MIL was not given to me at a bridal shower.  I didn't have one because I hate them.  She gave it to me in the hustle and bustle before the wedding while I was hanging out with the flower girl.  I had no idea what was in the box and you would think she would've had sense enough to give it to me when a young child wasn't right there with me. Of course, most people would think it inappropriate for a MIL to give her DIL sex clothes EVER.

Oh. My. Word.

:svengo:

 

 

I think I take the most issue with the way "teen bride" was thrown about as though the bride was fifteen and needed parental permission. I was nineteen. Technically teens, but I was an ADULT, not a highschool teenager. The bride in the OP is eighteen...she's an adult. She deserves to be respected and treated as such. She's getting married just like any other adult bride. Yes, she probably should keep the guests to the adult category for such a shower...on the other hand, the person managing may have felt like the OP's daughter would feel left out if she wasn't invited because of her age instead of invited based on her relationship to the bride. This is an opportunity to classy and gracious....either decline politely and send a gift card or show up and bring a nice basket with candles and other non-lingerie items for a romantic evening with a gift card to a store. It depends upon how much she can take or not of the potential for innuendos and a bit of raunchy joking. Honestly, women for centuries talked amoungst themselves. This is how we learn and how we band together. If she's not ready for it (and I totally understand...I have a fifteen year old dd and I would probably have her send a gift and stay home), then you figure out how to handle it graciously (we are teaching them to be adults and being gracious is one of those traits they need). I would not think less of a person for having a shower such as this (the bride may or may not be aware of it...some showers are surprises). I've seen women of all classes have these kinds of parties and I've also seen women of all classes decline them from time to time.

Love this!

[Catwoman]

I don't think its tacky. I've never been to a personal shower where this is a thing though.

 

The first christmas after I was married my mom bought me a "gag" basket full of sex toys and products. It was so embarrassing. I'm not sure what she was thinking. I will never ever ever do that to my kids.

 

I'm surprised so many people wear lingerie! I think sex clothes are useless and get in the way.

Not for anything, but you are aware that not all lingerie is of the "sex clothes" variety, right?

 

That said, I would have been mortified if my mom had ever bought sex toys for me. :ack2:

[LucyStoner]

Lingerie is a very traditional bridal shower gift. I have been invited to lingerie showers but just about any bridal shower I have ever been to has had at least a few lingerie gifts. I don't even find 15 too young to attend. It's not like she doesn't know what getting married means. If she is too uncomfortable buying lingerie she can politely decline or she can give some other gift.

 

I take lingerie to mean nightgowns, underwear, slips, robes, hosiery...not just bustiers and teddies.

[Moxie]

I don't think its tacky. I've never been to a personal shower where this is a thing though.

 

The first christmas after I was married my mom bought me a "gag" basket full of sex toys and products. It was so embarrassing. I'm not sure what she was thinking. I will never ever ever do that to my kids.

 

I'm surprised so many people wear lingerie! I think sex clothes are useless and get in the way.

To me, this is like saying, "Why bother wrapping those birthday gifts? Just give me the darn thing!" I love lingerie!! Only some of my pieces are "sex clothes".

[Amber in SJ]

My Dh has many girl cousins all about the same age as we are and they were all local to where Dh & I were going to school when we got engaged.  They insisted on throwing me a shower even though I had only met them a few times at big family gatherings.  None of my friends, relatives or even co-workers were invited even though they asked me for a list of people I wanted to invite.  All of Dh's aunties, great aunties and both grandmothers were there as well.  It turned out to be (you guessed it) a lingerie shower.  I didn't even know what some of the things were.  One of Dh's grandmas gave me crotchless panties.  I didn't even realize they were panties.  I didn't think it could get more horrifying until a "fashion show" was proposed.  When I refused I earned the nick name (that persists to this day) of "no-fun Amber."  Dh's other grandma gave me a very cute apron.  I thought it was so sweet until she suggested I be in the kitchen cooking, wearing only the apron when dh got home from work.  Someone I had never seen before and have not seen since brought an industrial size bottle of lube with a bow on it.  She told me I'd need it if I didn't want to be walking bow-legged after the honeymooon.  These were sweet church ladies who were not happy I was marrying into their family because I am not Christian enough for them.  I have often wondered if they thought this was the kind of thing I'd expect at a shower because I didn't go to their church.

 

Because of this I will never, ever give sexy lingerie to a bride.  A pretty robe, yes, but that is as far as "no-fun Amber" delves into the sex life of others.

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

[Prairie~Phlox]

I try and have nicer under garments for my dh. He hates granny panties, so I don't wear them. I don't wear a thong everyday, but if the right fit, they can be comfortable. Fwiw. Dh likes lingerie, I don't care for it, but will wear it for him to make him happy.

[BakersDozen]

 

 

Dh likes lingerie, I don't care for it, but will wear it for him to make him happy. 

You are a good wife.  :)  I got rid of mine as I hate the stuff - hate how it makes me look/feel.  Dh wasn't pleased so I told him if he wanted the stuff that bad, he could buy some and wear it because I wasn't going to.  Poor dh.  

[KrissiK]

I had a personal shower and have gone to my share of them. I got some pretty stuff, some racy stuff and some regular stuff. Personally, I would have rather just gotten regular stuff.

[OnTheBrink]

I think the awkward part is that the bridesmaid is quite young. If I were helping host/organize such a thing or was a parent with influece, I'd encourage the bride/organizer to have a lingerie party with just her age-mates +/- older women if she thinks they'd enjoy it. It is awkward since the girls are mates/friends but with a substantial (for their ages/life stages) age gap. Not all guests/bridesmaids have to attend EVERY shower -- some brides have quite a few! Since you don't have much influence in this situation, and it's too late to fix it, I'd just have "the talk" with your 15 yo, explaining that sex is a natural and exciting part of marriage, and, this awkwardness is a simple consequence of having a bf who is quite a bit older than she is (and marrying young, to boot). If her friend has children soon, then there will be distance from that, too. If dd wants to keep this dear friend, she'll have to "stretch" a bit. 

 

 

 

You've hit the nail on the head. For me personally, it seems very odd to be buying lingerie for someone I've watched in the church nursery. As for DD, she understands the sex/marriage thing, but she's very, very modest and just feels weird about the lingerie part. 

 

I did talk to the mom of another bridesmaid and asked her how she felt about it. She had a totally different take on it; an angle I've not thought of at all. She said she's supportive of it because they couple chose to remain pure until marriage and this party is not going to be a crude "passion party" but a celebration of the physical part of marriage that is healthy, appropriate and within biblical boundaries. She also said she's been to another lingerie party for another young bride, and they're very G rated. There were panties and nighties, etc, but nothing out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. I felt a lot better after speaking to her! I was envisioning...I don't, sex toys and potions? Edible underwear? Wedding porn? I don't know, but I'm relieved to learn this won't be like that!

 

I relayed all this to DD, and she'd still rather go the gift card route, and that's fine. 

[Kim in Appalachia]

The ladies at my church threw me one back in 1992.  They bought me a lot of cute stuff. 

[PeacefulChaos]

My Dh has many girl cousins all about the same age as we are and they were all local to where Dh & I were going to school when we got engaged.  They insisted on throwing me a shower even though I had only met them a few times at big family gatherings.  None of my friends, relatives or even co-workers were invited even though they asked me for a list of people I wanted to invite.  All of Dh's aunties, great aunties and both grandmothers were there as well.  It turned out to be (you guessed it) a lingerie shower.  I didn't even know what some of the things were.  One of Dh's grandmas gave me crotchless panties.  I didn't even realize they were panties.  I didn't think it could get more horrifying until a "fashion show" was proposed.  When I refused I earned the nick name (that persists to this day) of "no-fun Amber."  Dh's other grandma gave me a very cute apron.  I thought it was so sweet until she suggested I be in the kitchen cooking, wearing only the apron when dh got home from work.  Someone I had never seen before and have not seen since brought an industrial size bottle of lube with a bow on it.  She told me I'd need it if I didn't want to be walking bow-legged after the honeymooon.  These were sweet church ladies who were not happy I was marrying into their family because I am not Christian enough for them.  I have often wondered if they thought this was the kind of thing I'd expect at a shower because I didn't go to their church.

 

Because of this I will never, ever give sexy lingerie to a bride.  A pretty robe, yes, but that is as far as "no-fun Amber" delves into the sex life of others.

 

Amber in SJ

:svengo: Omg.  That is absolutely horrible.

I have heard that in some specific, VERY conservative communities, the bride to be is given a ribbon at her shower, and told by all the older ladies that on her wedding night she's only allowed to use the ribbon to cover up... whatever she can.  

 

I think it's interesting reading the different opinions here - Idk if it's just my circle of friends or what, but we're all pretty open about sex.  We don't talk about details or personal sex lives, per se, but it's not unusual for the topic to come up in one way or another.  It seems that isn't the case with others?  Nothing wrong with that... just interesting to see the differences. :)

 

I try and have nicer under garments for my dh. He hates granny panties, so I don't wear them. I don't wear a thong everyday, but if the right fit, they can be comfortable. Fwiw. Dh likes lingerie, I don't care for it, but will wear it for him to make him happy.

Cheekies are my friends.  I won't do thongs but I love those.  When I'm feeling like looking particularly sexy, those are what I put on for the day.  :D  

All my undergarments are from VS, in varying degrees - I don't think I own a pair that aren't at least cute!!  But I really like having cute underwear, so that's always been the case, even back in the day when I knew no one would see them but me.  :)

[PeacefulChaos]

You've hit the nail on the head. For me personally, it seems very odd to be buying lingerie for someone I've watched in the church nursery. As for DD, she understands the sex/marriage thing, but she's very, very modest and just feels weird about the lingerie part. 

 

I did talk to the mom of another bridesmaid and asked her how she felt about it. She had a totally different take on it; an angle I've not thought of at all. She said she's supportive of it because they couple chose to remain pure until marriage and this party is not going to be a crude "passion party" but a celebration of the physical part of marriage that is healthy, appropriate and within biblical boundaries. She also said she's been to another lingerie party for another young bride, and they're very G rated. There were panties and nighties, etc, but nothing out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. I felt a lot better after speaking to her! I was envisioning...I don't, sex toys and potions? Edible underwear? Wedding porn? I don't know, but I'm relieved to learn this won't be like that!

 

I relayed all this to DD, and she'd still rather go the gift card route, and that's fine. 

Good!  :) 

And my goodness - what you were picturing is certainly not the norm!  Most parties aren't of the Fredericks variety.  Well, none I've heard of or been to, anyway.  :)  I think it all has to do with the bride to be and the friends - glad your worries were alleviated and I hope that whatever your DD decides, it is a good experience for everyone.  :)

[mommaduck]

You've hit the nail on the head. For me personally, it seems very odd to be buying lingerie for someone I've watched in the church nursery. As for DD, she understands the sex/marriage thing, but she's very, very modest and just feels weird about the lingerie part. 

 

I did talk to the mom of another bridesmaid and asked her how she felt about it. She had a totally different take on it; an angle I've not thought of at all. She said she's supportive of it because they couple chose to remain pure until marriage and this party is not going to be a crude "passion party" but a celebration of the physical part of marriage that is healthy, appropriate and within biblical boundaries. She also said she's been to another lingerie party for another young bride, and they're very G rated. There were panties and nighties, etc, but nothing out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. I felt a lot better after speaking to her! I was envisioning...I don't, sex toys and potions? Edible underwear? Wedding porn? I don't know, but I'm relieved to learn this won't be like that!

 

I relayed all this to DD, and she'd still rather go the gift card route, and that's fine. 

 

To be honest, Frederick's actually has some G-rated, tame things also ;) When I needed a bustier (white, to go under a semi formal dress that a bra simply would not do or support properly), Frederick's was the ONLY place local to me at that time that had them. A French woman was working that day and she knew what I was talking about right away and was very classy about it. Yes, they have raunch stuff also...some of the top lingerie shops have both, classy/sexy and classy/playful and sexy/playful. You just have to know what it is you want. 

 

I'm glad to hear that the party isn't what you had initially presumed and that you understand the celebration of this young couple. Congratulations to them :) And kudos to your daughter for handling it with grace.

[LucyStoner]

I love lingerie. It's like my one secret girlie thing. I don't wear make up. I don't paint my nails. I don't wear heels anymore because of sports (I don't think I would if I could but seriously it is a non-starter with skating. My shins rebel.) I don't fuss with my hair. But I have a killer collection of vintage nightgowns (the more lace the better) and a lot of other fun pieces as well.

 

We married young- 21 and 22. I was not embarrassed by my older relatives giving me some sweet nighties. I didn't have a shower but I did get a few such gifts.

[SKL]

Not the same thing, but this thread reminded me of an "adults only" wedding reception that I attended when I was 16.  (I went with my parents and older brothers.  My mom figured they just didn't want little brats running around screaming.)  As luck would have it, I caught the bouquet.  Soon after I learned that when you catch the bouquet at an adults-only wedding reception, the guy who catches the garter gets to put the garter up your leg.  Ha!  I was horrified and mortified and mostly really glad that I'd resisted the temptation to wear knee-highs under my long dress.  LOL.  Somehow I lived through it.  ;)

[Tap]

If you feel it is inappropriate, then just modify your teens exposure. 

 

Seriously, I would just ask the bride if she and the two teens can just have lunch together instead.  Or let them go for the first half, leave and ask the hostess to the plan presents for right before the end.

 

Lingerie parties have been popular for years.  Often, I think it is more common with the younger crowd that the older one. 

[J-rap]

Lingerie or personal showers don't have to scream sex.  Sometimes it's actually a really nice way for a young bride to collect nice/pretty/frivolous lingerie that she otherwise would not feel she had the money to buy.  I guess it depends on the crowd.  If the the bride is conservative, then I'd imagine her guests (and their gifts) would be conservative as well.  I think it is most tasteful if done only with a small group of close girl friends (which would include the bridesmaids);  however, in some cases, depending on the relationship, aunts and mother, etc. could be invited as well.

 

My daughter-in-law gave a personal shower for my dd.  Because it was out of the country, it was only my four daughters, my DIL, and DIL's sister who were there.  My youngest daughter was only 16 and my DIL was the only one married.  It was really nice.  One daughter gave some cute summer PJ's (not sexy, just cute!), and my other daughter gave her a couple of much needed bras.  My DIL -- being the only one married -- gave her something a little more scandalous I think, but it was all in good taste.  ;-)

 

My two youngest were at a personal shower of a good friend this past summer, and they gave a summer nightgown and body lotion.

[mrbmom77]

 

 

I think it's interesting reading the different opinions here - Idk if it's just my circle of friends or what, but we're all pretty open about sex. We don't talk about details or personal sex lives, per se, but it's not unusual for the topic to come up in one way or another. It seems that isn't the case with others? Nothing wrong with that... just interesting to see the differences. :)

)

Yes, it is. This wouldn't phase me at all. I grew up in a very strict church (no jewelry, no makeup, skirts only, no TV, and on and on) but we always had a household shower for the couple and a ladies-only lingerie shower. Teen girls all the way up to elderly widows came. Sex was reserved for marriage but not a taboo subject as long as there were no men around. I wouldn't think twice about DD14 attending.

That said, if your daughter is terribly uncomfortable about it, the bride should understand. No big deal either way.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Shopping for underthings or bed things is not something I would want anyone to do for me - not because I have any sense of modesty or anything like that.  I'm just incredibly picky about what goes right next to my skin.  

[dirty ethel rackham]

Lingerie or personal showers don't have to scream sex. 

 

Ok, to me, anything that is not a t-shirt and flannel bottoms screams sex.  :tongue_smilie: And someone else buying me panties?  No way.  I did get some "interesting items" from my bridesmaids at my bachelorete party, not all super racy, but quite a few gag items.  But even the more tame lingerie did not suit my body type (and I was a fit, trim, skinny-minnie back then.)  I am so glad I didn't have to open anything like that in front of all the aunties. 

 

[Janie Grace]

Just tell the hostess not to make a cake decorated with a huge cherry (made of icing) and raspberry filling that oozes out when the cake is cut. I kid you not -- I went to a shower where this happened, complete with all the "cherry" jokes you can imagine.

[mommaduck]

Janie Grace, eeewwww, just plain, eeeeewwww!

[MercyA]

Now The Cranberries are going to be going through my head all day. 

ZombAY, zombAY, zombAY AY AY

[QueenCat]

41 minutes ago, selami said:

It is definitely a very special day. Bridesmaids get way too excited these days. Miya can help with this, especially if you are confused about gifts.

REPORTED.

[denarii]

On 10/20/2013 at 3:42 PM, Jerico said:

 

NM didn't realize it was a zombie thread 😅

Edited March 1, 2023 by denarii

[lynn]

Not a new or weird.  I threw one for a friend I was a bridesmaid for.  If your dd feels weird about lingerie she can give some bath and body works type stuff.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

9 year old zombie. Too young to thinking about lingerie!  

[ScoutTN]

Zombie thread resurrected by an ai bot

[Ting Tang]

47 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

9 year old zombie. Too young to thinking about lingerie!  

LOL  I wonder if they are still married? 

[matrips]

I never heard of one.  Went to plenty of showers and they were all typical registry stuff, plus a nice nightgown/robe maybe from the mom.  Is this regional or more modern or ? I’m in my 50’s.

okay I see it’s a zombie thread but I still want to know!! lol 

Edited March 1, 2023 by matrips

[Clemsondana]

2 minutes ago, matrips said:

I never heard of one.  Went to plenty of showers and they were all typical registry stuff, plus a nice nightgown/robe maybe from the mom.  Is this regional or more modern or ? I’m in my 50’s.

okay I see it’s a zombie thread but I still want to know!! lol 

I'm in my late 40s and they were common when I was in my 'bridesmaid and wedding' years in my early 20s.  I had a small one the day before my wedding - just the bridesmaids, my mom, and a couple of out-of-town friends, maybe 6-8 people total. No weird games, just brunch and chatting and gifts.  One of my mom's close friends was there, and it didn't seem odd to people her age.  Most gifts weren't anything too racy - a few little slip-style satin things, a few pretty gowns, some candles and lotion from bath and body works.  Lingerie showers may look different in different places.  In my circles, most brides in their early 20s wouldn't have much in the way of sexy sleepwear or underwear, having come from living with a group of girls in the dorms or with roommates in grad school.  Most were religious - not super conservative by any means, but also not likely to have had much need for lingerie prior to getting married.  I also had 2 other showers - one with spouse's relatives and one with my extended family (my parents' families live in the same place and know each other so it was just one shower with all of them together).  Those were mostly the ones where we got everyday things like skillets and a crock pot and towels and silverware.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

23 minutes ago, matrips said:

I never heard of one.  Went to plenty of showers and they were all typical registry stuff, plus a nice nightgown/robe maybe from the mom.  Is this regional or more modern or ? I’m in my 50’s.

okay I see it’s a zombie thread but I still want to know!! lol 

I went to one over 40 years ago.  So not new.  But I've only been to one. . . so not necessarily super common either - at least in my social circles. 

[Elizabeth86]

I think it is weird, but I’ve never been one for lingerie. I know it was the norm here in the 80’s/early 90’s, but I haven’t seen that kind of shower in a long time.

[TechWife]

I have been to one, many years ago. All of the women present were married or living with a partner. I can't a group with young, unmarried people. Perhaps that's prudish, but there it is. It was a very respectful event, not racy or tacky. Very pretty gowns, as I recall. Lingerie can be very tasteful - gowns, super nice pajamas, slippers, bathrobe. You could stretch the concept to include a soap/lotion set or a manicure set, maybe.

[KungFuPanda]

10 year old zombie thread 🤣