Caroline Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom picked my dress with my grandmother because I wore my mom's wedding dress and veil. We took the crown off the veil and added a lace bow. That was a decision we made together. Â I also got married on my parent's 28th anniversary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 No weight. We were in different parts of the country. I only had my girlfriend with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I'm watching Say Yes to the Dress and it astonishes me how much family members' opinions sway the brides. I can't imagine being that way with my dd when she chooses a wedding gown. As long as she stays in budget, she can have whatever gown she wants. Is this behavior the norm, or is this all for TV? . Â My Mom influenced me a lot. She has good taste. She gently encouraged me to reject the big 'Lady Di' inspired dresses of the era, and I am forever grateful. Her classic tastes probably saved me from wearing something I would laugh at now. We had a dress made that I still think was beautiful and elegant. Thanks Mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I was part of my sister's entourage (me, other sister, MOH, and Mom) for dress shopping. We oohed and aahed over each one, oohed and aahed extra over a particular one, and then told her which one we liked best. There was zero criticism of any dress just in case were to poo-poo one she might pick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I guess I'm the hold-out. Â I married right out of college. Â Mom and dad paid for virtually everything. Â They had a lot of input. Â Mom was the only one who went shopping with me. Â I tried on a lot of dresses. Â But really it was just to see what I looked good in. Â Brother was home looking in a bridal mag just sitting there and said "why doesn't she wear something like this? Â She'd look great." Â It was a mermaid. Â When mom and I went, I tried one on. Â I did look great. Â Mom made my dress. Â So yes, she was very involved. Â I chose color and how much lace/beading/etc. Â She guided me to the right fabrics. Â Helped me not to choose something just because it was cheap. Â Cause it usually was cheap in every sense of the word. Â Then there was a funny wrinkle on the back - my shoulder blades stuck out of something. Â She altered the dress so there was an open heart on the back - wrinkle fixed. Â It was made with love and would hold up to future generations wearing it. Â Of course my daughters won't be wearing it. Â Both are too tall! Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Mom came with me. I tried on several, then found one my mom liked a lot. The fact that it was only $300 helped, too. Only girl, fresh out of college, no job--parents paid for everything. I wasn't sure, but she said Yes to the Dress for me. I was having a hard time with the whole wedding anyway--I wasn't quite ready, and probably would've taken even longer had she not stepped in.  It is a lovely dress, and even tho they didn't alter it correctly (it kept slipping off my shoulder), I still felt beautiful.  For my own dd, I'll happily go with and give my opinion, and we'll pay for it. I want to start saving now--but dd tells me, "Forget the wedding--save for college!"  Atta girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom and I have similar tastes in clothing (modest, classic, frugal!) so her opinions were well received. We went shopping together with my kid sister, and she also paid for the dress (though, as long as she didn't hate it, she would have let me get whatever I wanted within budget). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 None. I didn't tell my mom I was getting married until after the ceremony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 None. My husband and I went shopping for my wedding dress together. We bought it at the first store we went to, in about an hour. It was $99. My mother and I are very close and have always had a really good relationship, but that's the way it went. She didn't mind at all. Â When my daughter was picking out her dress, her sisters and I went with her. She was in the States for only two weeks (away from her home in Costa Rica), and she wanted to get the task over with quickly! It had to be one that would travel well on an airplane. We spotted a very simple but pretty one on a mannequin as soon as we walked in the door, and that's the one she got. She didn't even want to try it on, but they refused to sell it to her until she did. It took about an hour. I did suggest that she get the optional straps that they could sew on, but she declined. :) Â This makes it sound like I don't care about fashion, but I do kind of like fashion, and so do my girls. But, spending a lot of time and money and exchanging a lot of opinions on a wedding dress isn't priority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Well, I chose my own dress, but had a huge shopping "entourage"....my parents, grandmother, two aunts, and a cousin all came with me. Â Total chaos, but a lot of fun, and no pressure. Â I was the first of my generation to get married, everyone was kind of excited. Â My dad actually picked out the dress I ended up buying (who knew our tastes were so similar?) Â It's a nice memory to have. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mother paid for my dress, and she encouraged me to buy the one I really liked instead of hunting through the sale racks. I would still pick that dress, it was beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mil made my dress so my mom had no input at all. Mil was a little daunted at the Vogue pattern I picked with the help of sil but she did a fabulous job. It was a tea length, satin dress with lace bodice. Â My mom didn't have much (if any) input on my sister's dress either. Sis and I went shopping together a few times but I think she picked the dress with the help of the dress coordinator more than anything. The woman was able to help her stay within her budget and get a beautiful dress (including tailoring) that was sis' style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom's opinion did sway a little. Â I got the dress I had always wanted, but when I tried it on it was "antique" or off white, and I really loved that. Â My mom was adamant that it be white. Â I went with the white, and when the dress came in, I still loved it. Â Â I am thankful for my aunt who came shopping with us. Â My mom was really partial to the huge puffy dress that was not me. Â She was really pushing me that way, and when I tried the dress on that I loved my aunt stepped in and said, "Now that looks like Kimmy". Â Her comments quieted my mom and made me smile. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom and I went to a tag sale together where they were selling a wedding dress. I tried it on. We loved it. I bought it. If I had gone to a store with her she would have made me try on things that I thought were hideous and she would say "trust me, it looks much better on." And she would have been right. She has the talent for spotting a gem.  Long story longer, she would hold a lot of sway because I trust her judgement.  I have watched Say Yes to the Dress and am horrified by the behavior of these people. I have informed my daughter when she gets married you do not bring an entourage with you. You bring one or two people (your mother) whose opinion and judgement you trust not to let you walk down the aisle looking like an idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom made my dress! We happened to be in an upscale fabric store when I told her dh had proposed. Â We started looking at patterns and fabric right then and there. Of course she had a bit of input around what she was capable of sewing, but otherwise, it was all my decision. Â We had a small wedding, paid for by mom and dad (dh and I were in college), but I had full control over choosing the dress, venue, flowers, menu, invitations, favors, etc. within their budget. I am very opinionated and strong-willed, mom isn't, so it all worked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom was in another state. My MIL-to-be went shopping with me and she was wonderful. She didn't pressure me; she gave me ideas and she was affirming and sweet when I tried on "the one." She died two years after we got married and I am so glad I have this memory with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom didn't have any input, as I was 28 and living in another state. I chose a pattern for a floor length formal gown, chose the material and notions I liked, and had a seamstress make it for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom did not pressure me at all. I picked the dress and she said "you look beautiful" and that was it.  Later I look at the dress and think, "ugh! what was I thinking?" I have no one to blame but myself. :glare:  I have seen other moms get very overbearing though.  On Yes to the Dress, I feel very sorry for some of those girls if the interaction is real. One girl was overweight and her family was just cruel to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mother said, "That's lovely, honey."  I am certain she meant it wholeheartedly, but if she hadn't I would never have known. If asked, she might offer an opinion, but whether she like the dress or didn't, it would be put very kindly and diplomatically.  Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I took my Mom with me. Â I had a general idea of what I liked but still wanted her opinion. Â We had a very nice time together and she wasn't at all pushy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Not much. A big poufy dress would have been my mom's style, not mine, and came with lots of strings attached. I opted to borrow a simple cream and rose colored sundress she'd bought on vacation a few years earlier and wore that instead.  I went shopping with DIL for her gown. She sort of knew what she wanted but wanted my opinion. She ended up buying the first dress she picked out and tried on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 None. My BFF loaned me hers :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracesteacher Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom went with me as did the bridesmaid my MIL and bff mom. Mom just said that is very you. My MIL complained I was spending tooo much money (300 bucks) my bff mom basically told her to shut up and then paid for the dress and veil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 DH and I got married in jeans at the courthouse, so mom didn't have any input. She has better fashion sense than I do, so if she had been there I might have at least brushed my hair. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trinchick Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom had a lot of input but we are very close and I value her opinion. Â This exactly. I went to the dress shop with my mom and grandmother. I trusted that they both had my best interest at heart, so their opinion of any dress was important to me. We never got to the point where it was what I wanted vs. what mom wanted. We were working together to find the prettiest dress for me. Â What I don't understand is the people on that show who bring an entire committee with them while they shop. How can you decide anything with a dozen people having input? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracesteacher Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I went alone picked what I like then brought them back with me to make sure I didn't look bad in the dress. Moms were getting their. Dresses and bridesmaid tried theirs on! It was a fruitful trip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 zero. My parents did not even know I was going to be married until I told them afterwards. we were poor grad students, and I bought a dress that could be worn multiple times, since we did not want to waste money on a wedding dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaS Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 We had equal involvement. Â She went with me when I went to try on dresses at a resale shop. Â I hated them all. Â Big, puffy things, they were. Â I told her I felt like one of the hippos in Fantasia. Â I said I wanted to make my dress and I found the pattern that I wanted (it was really a Halloween costume-medieval dress). Â I loved it. Â She said that I couldn't count on her to help sew it as it was beyond her comfort zone, but that was ok. Â I intended to pay my sil's mother to help me. Â My mom, however, (with my full permission) went shopping with another of my sil for the fabric. Â I would have bought cheap fabrics and my mom knew it. Â They had a ball shopping and with the help of a very happy saleslady, they chose gorgeous fabric. Â It was the McCall's 2645 for those curious. Â :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 One way to ensure that your mother or other family member has no say in any part of your wedding is to pay for it yourself. Â If you have a parent(s) paying thousands of dollars for your wedding then expect some input. Â If your parent is the type to be very controlling then assume that will be the same for the wedding. Â Sometimes you cannot have your cake and eat it too (have parents pay tens of thousands of dollars and yet not say anything about it). Â My husband and I paid for our wedding. Â Everything about it was how we wanted it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I love Say Yes to the Dress and have learned that before my girls shop for wedding dresses, I will sit in front of a mirror and practice until I can convincingly say, "Oh, Honey, you look lovely." Anything else would (1) be untrue, and (2) make me look like a shrew. Â I bought my dress alone, so none, for the original question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I pretty much bought my dress for my Mom but she didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t try to influence me. I would have been happy with something very simple, I talked about looking for a white dress that was not a wedding dress. I went shopping with my Mom to a bridal store just to see what there was and tried on a few dresses. One of the first ones I tried on was very lovely but much more fancy than I would have normally picked. I saw my MomĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s face and realized how important it was to her for me to have a Ă¢â‚¬Å“real dressĂ¢â‚¬. She got married very young (in college) and her parents offered her a car or a wedding. She chose the car and got married in her home with no guests other than immediate family and in a yellow very plain shift style dress. I know she had always regretted not being able to have a big wedding. And IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m an only child so I was it for her as far as weddings. So I decided it was worth making her happy and got the dress. I never regretted it. Even though it wasnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t me, it was a lovely dress.  I should say though that my Mom didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t try and influence me at all. She said not a negative word when I said I was thinking of just getting a cheaper white dress. I think she said Ă¢â‚¬Å“whatever you want to doĂ¢â‚¬ or something like it. When I tried on the dresses she sat there very quietly and said nice things but didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t gush or try to sway me. But I knew what it meant to her. I think if sheĂ¢â‚¬â„¢d tried hard to push me to buy one I might have resented it. As it was it was fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I was 21. My mom and I went wedding dress shopping together but ended up buying a pattern and fabric. Her very talented friend made my dress. Mom was interested and supportive but not at all bossy or overbearing. That wasn't her way. She left the final decision up to me, even though she paid for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My mom's opinion mattered a lot to me, so it did influence what dress I bought. But not in a negative way. I have fond memories of shopping for my wedding dress with her, but she's always very kind and respectful and would never have insisted I get a dress she wanted. She's always been really in tune with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Well, my mom made my wedding dress, so I picked out the pattern and she helped me choose fabric and lace that was affordable. But I don't remember her showing any strong feelings against anything I was looking at. I remember sewing and gluing all those beads onto the train. That was quite a job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 None. My BFF loaned me hers :) Same here. I borrowed my friend's dress and my grandmother paid to have it cleaned after the wedding. I was happy with it. We were on a very tight budget---$500 for wedding and reception. My sister wore her prom dress and my MIL wore a suit coat he had from a friend's wedding and dh got a suit at JC Penny. Â Surprisingly we are still happily married after over 20 years.......even without the big to dos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maplecat Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I wore my mom's dress, but did have the neckline altered. My mom's approval was very important to me and our taste is similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Mom had no input. I was fortunate enough to wear size four, so bought my beautiful dress myself off of the "samples" rack for $125.00. That was a mint of money for this graduate school student; however, I really loved the dress! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My Mom didn't even know about my wedding. But my MIL is the reason we eloped, if that tells you anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 My mother came with me but I had pre picked a dress that was online. I did try on a few dresses to make the moment last. But I picked the original dress. My grandmother was there as well. Ofcourse they told me I looked lovely in all the dresses! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Well, I had mine made from a picture in a magazine, using lace from her dress (she wore a short cocktail affair in the 60's) and raw silk, which we purchased together. We sewed on all the pearls together. So, she was very much a part of it, but I chose the design. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 My mom and grandmother went shopping with me, at my request because I wanted their opinion. But I ended up with a white tea length dress from Dillards, it was perfect, and on clearance, so I got for about 50 dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 My mom and grandmother went shopping with me, at my request because I wanted their opinion. But I ended up with a white tea length dress from Dillards, it was perfect, and on clearance, so I got for about 50 dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 my mom did not see my dress until I put it on on my wedding day. I went by myself to the various bridal stores and tried them on and took the advice of the sale's people about what style suited me best for my body type. I ended up with one I loved on sale for $800, and called it good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 I'm of the belief that when you try on the gown for you, you know it right away. My mother wasn't living when I went wedding gown shopping, but I went with my older sister and cousin.  My cousin encouraged me to try this one gown on. I wasn't all that impressed with it hanging up, but when I tried it on, I started to cry! That was the one!  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 You're kidding, right? Â My mom didn't even bother to come to my wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 None. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Every single time I skim over the title of your post, for an instant I think it's about our mothers' weight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 None. Â Non-traditional wedding though. Â I didn't even know which dress I'd wear till the night before we got married. Â Everyone told me *not* to shop, or they just knew I'd back out. Â I hate shopping. Â And was commitment phobic. Â :) Â My best friend brought the dress I wore, she found it on a clearance rack for $27. Â I was a size 0, so there were some good clearance options. Â I had a few back ups, but that was the winner. Â I'd have been just as happy wearing hiking boots and fleece, honestly. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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