I need something...maybe a hobby? (Emotional and long...)

[Julie in CA]

As a lot of you know, I've fallen into some really hard times.

 

*Depression over dh's treatable medical condition which he's in denial about.

*The collapse of our finances including probable business failure within the next 4 months, and no personal savings buffer because the business had been successful for so long that we relied on it and rolled our money back in for 25 years.

*Dh's year-long emotional affair which was over before I ever knew about it, but still has made me despondent almost to the point of self-destruction.

 

There's more, but that's the basics, for those of you who might have missed the complete devastation of what was previously a completely non-tumultuous life.

 

I am working on the depression, there's nothing I can do about the business failure, and dh and I are surviving the repercussions of his actions with the help of marriage counseling. Thankfully, we never did have horrible relationship problems, and we never have been angry and combative towards each other. We are caring for each other with great tenderness, and holding hands as we walk this difficult road.

 

Anyway, I mention all of that as background for my real question:

I'm struggling to deal with all of this in a healthy way, but am finding that I have nothing fun going on, and I can find absolutely nothing to look forward to. I know part of that is the depression, but I *really* *need* *something* to think about, or to look forward to. Vacation has never been our thing, and even if we wanted to try a vacation now, I don't think I can see it as a wise use of money.

 

I used to read suspenseful novels as a bit of an escape from reality, but as I've gotten older, my eyesight is just not what it used to be. Yes, I have glasses, but it's just not as comfortable, kwim? I do listen to audiobooks while I do housework, and I enjoy that, but there's only so much of that I can do.

 

I used to cook & bake for fun, but because I do that professionally, it's lost it's luster for me.

 

I used to look forward to planning a new school year, and found delight in searching for curriculum and planning the details ahead. Honestly, I've done it for so many years now that I have everything we need, and school pretty much runs itself.

 

I know that I should go back to the exercise that I gave up on, and that I will feel much better both emotionally and physically if I do, but I'm looking for something else...something interesting in my life, something that can divert my attention from some of the miseries, maybe something I can do while sitting next to dh on the couch while he watches the evening news, maybe another thing I can do during the day while he's at work, something....well, I don't know.

 

I need some fun, or some joy, or something to look forward to, and I'm having trouble thinking of anything to try.

 

Think creatively for me, would you? I'm just not up to it, but I know I need to find something or even a couple of somethings to bring back some interest to my life, both for me, and so that I can be a whole person again for dh. I know that we will not survive if I allow depression and despondency to rule my life. Yes, I'm treating the depression, but I need help thinking of activities and/or hobbies that I might enjoy.

:bigear:

Edited July 7, 2012 by Julie in CA

[Ottakee]

Do you have any friends locally that you could maybe walk with? I find that a huge help. We walk and talk and talk and walk. We get in some great conversations as well as exercise. We discuss just about everything under the sun except any marriage issues/troubles.

 

Volunteering in an area you enjoy might be fun as well and get you out with other people and give you a sense of purpose--a food bank, foster care agency, library, or ???

[Melinda in VT]

birdwatching? some areas have groups you can join, or you can just hang some feeders and get some guide books

 

if something in the evening outside the house is ok, what about a local theater group? they are almost always in need of stage managers, lighting techs, ushers, etc.

 

raising a guidedog puppy?

 

if the only issue with reading is eyestrain, have you tried a Kindle? I had some vision problems last month, and while I was recovering I really came to appreciate the ability to increase font size on the Kindle.

 

I keep trying to learn how to knit, but it tends to strain my wrists. other people seem to have more luck with it though.

 

(Apologies for erratic capitalization. my shift key sticks. :tongue_smilie:)

 

:grouphug: I've been thinking about you.

[kricau]

I can only suggest what worked for me. I was feeling , for lack of a better word, bored with my life. I was doing the same thing day in and day out: laundry, dishes, meals, baths, teeth brushing, etc.....

I also enjoyed planning the next years curriculum, still do, but that only happens once a year. I also enjoyed online shopping, but the money can only go so far. That's when I stumbled apon online buying and selling. I had been looking for American Girl doll stuff for my oldest daughter, on eBay, Craigslist, random weird websites. When I came across a very cheap doll carrier on a website I had never heard of before (Fingerhut). Well I figured if I (someone who was constantly online) had never heard of it before, than chances are alot of other people hadn't either. So I bought some of those doll carriers (using coupon codes I found online) and re-sold them on eBay and made about $10 a piece. Then I got the idea of buying them and sending directly, cut out the shipping to myself cost. And that worked even better, more profit for me, and no packaging hassle :) Last Christmas I made about $500 selling those carriers (and a couple of other items I had found online).

 

So if you have an interest in something like I did with the dolls, then maybe this could be your "hobby". Let me know if you need any start up help? And good luck :)

Edited July 7, 2012 by kricau

[WiseOwlKnits]

Knitting. It's like a form of meditation. The more anxious/upset I am, the more I knit. Of course, the happier I am the more I knit too.

[Random]

If I were you, I would plant a garden. It's something I've always wanted to do, but haven't had the time to do well.

 

Otherwise, I suggest:

Photography

Scrapbooking

Walking or Couch to 5K

Coursera or Openware courses

Knitting

Art (or anything you're interested in) course through a local community college

You can do a free online pilot school through Young Eagles

 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: Sorry life is so hard right now. It's good that you are looking upward and onward.

[elegantlion]

What is something totally opposite from what you think you might be interested in doing?

 

I'm sorry about your business (HUGS). That is so difficult.

 

I would find something that doesn't just extend who you are, but dabble in something that can redefine a part of you.

 

thinking of some things to do on a budget:

 

Use Netflix to watch foreign films. I've discovered some cool ones from referrals here. Turn on the subtitles and listen.

 

Find a heavy duty punching bag. Nothing relieves stress like hitting something designed to be punched.

 

Learn how to edit photos

 

Do a nature journal

 

Do an oil painting. Even if you can't paint do one and hang it up.

 

Write a story, use Nanowrimo's YWP handbooks to help the process.

 

Pick something to do for 21 days in a row. After my son was born I felt very isolated. I decided to force myself to leave the house everyday and talk to at least ten people. It could be a cashier, a hello to someone at a store even if they don't answer. It took a lot for me to get out on somedays, I'm very introverted and need down time, but I did it.

 

Learn how to repurpose furniture.

[Just Beachy]

I recently (as in last month) started taking karate. It is something I have wanted to do for years and always told myself I couldn't. Well, I am. It is hard because of my weight and a recent shoulder surgery, but I am having a great time. I have lost some weight and inches, and look forward to going to each class. A few years ago I took a sign language class at our local community college. Classes cost money, but maybe you could swing it. Not that you have to do one of these, but just think back..... What was something you always wanted to learn to do but never had time? Or maybe life and kids put it on an indefinite hold? I would start there and see if there is a way to pursue that. Maybe a friend or acquaintaince has a hobby talent you'd love to learn. Maybe she can give you lessons and you could teach her to cook.

 

Hugs to you though. I hope you find what you are seeking.

 

:) Beachy

[Chris in VA]

Could you learn a new language with Rosetta Stone (it's like a game to me, so I find it fun)? Your library may have it, or maybe someone here could loan it to you.

 

Do you have a Wii? Wii Fit is fun, and you can track your progress. It's pretty easy to do if you are a larger woman, like I am. Just play the games at first.

 

Are you on Pinterest? They have tons of DIY ideas that don't cost much. Maybe you could make some preschool baggies or games for a homeschool mom you know or you could offer some at a co-op.

 

Can you volunteer a couple of times a week? My mil sings/plays guitar at a nursing home. She also does a lot at church.

 

I'm sorry, I've forgotten if you are a Christian, but maybe an intensive bible study would be fun for you? I love the Beth Moore stuff and I actually can't wait to get to the next lesson each day. Or, maybe a book discussion group? You could read and then get out of the house for a while. Or do it online.

 

Could you take an online course?

 

Does your library have Teaching Company dvds? There are some really intriguing ones. I've only seen parts of the Odyssey one (used it with ds for high school), but the math ones and the history ones always seem so interesting.

[myfunnybunch]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I agree with a previous suggestion about volunteering. I've recently started volunteering again, and I come away so refreshed. Exhausted, yes. (My volunteer work is child care for teen moms as they do their program. Tiring in a fun way.) But taking time away from my life to help in an area that's important to me makes me feel good. :)

 

An exercise partner can make help bring fun into the exercise and get you motivated.

 

Gardening would get you out of doors and there's something so special about seeing things grow.

 

Some kind of handwork, like crochet or cross-stitch can keep your hands busy in the evening while you sit with hubby.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I hope you find what works for you. Be encouraged that you know this is what you need, and don't be discouraged if it takes you a few tries to find something that refreshes your spirit.

 

Cat

[Lawana]

Maybe a cummunity college class? In anything that sounds remotely interesting. Or a craft/sewing class. I'm thinking something with some structure, but that would get you interacting with people.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Caroline]

I started a boot camp exercise class this summer. It is hard work, but fun. I was so scared the first day I walked in. Out of shape is a generous way to describe me. I feel amazing after the class each week. It is $10 a class, so not free, but not terribly expensive, and does not involve a gym membership. I just wear shorts and a t-shirt and my running shoes, so no special clothing. It has been a great experience.

[kalanamak]

A garden, crochet, a pet, furniture stripping and refurnishing. That's what comes to mind.

[justamouse]

Yeah, I agree with Kalanamak. I could totally see you going to town on some furniture and making it beautiful.

 

Why? Because of the cake decorating. You have to have an eye for color and balance, and that would translate really well to furniture.

[Rebecca VA]

Wow, you've gotten some great suggestions! I was feeling very much the same as you a month or so ago. I was seriously depressed and feeling that my life might as well be over. My husband and I decided -- very abruptly -- to move about an hour closer in to the city. We'll be close to where my daughter will attend school next year and to his work.

 

We had two houses to sell, and they were both stuffed with boxes and books. We went on a decluttering rampage that lasted for weeks (it's still going on, but in a milder form). The decluttering and cleaning have helped me so much -- I don't feel weighed down by my belongings any more. I really think part of my depression was that feeling of being trapped by my stuff.

 

Bless you for being such a wonderful, compassionate wife.

[Wheres Toto]

:grouphug:

 

You've gotten lots of great suggestions for finding a hobby.

 

I had a suggestion for reading - check with your local library system to see if they carry large-print editions. My library has a huge collection of classics and recent popular books available.

[Perry]

furniture stripping and refurnishing.

:iagree:

 

 

Go to some flea markets and see if anything strikes you. I have developed an obsession with refinishing old trunks. Or get some old pallets or reclaimed barnwood and make some beautiful furniture.

 

Also, genealogy. Family history research is fascinating, and you can spend hours and hours lost on rabbit trails. If you are interested at all, I can give you lots of information about how to get started.

[kalanamak]

 

Also, genealogy. Family history research is fascinating, and you can spend hours and hours lost on rabbit trails. If you are interested at all, I can give you lots of information about how to get started.

 

Ohhh, that's a good one. I've only done a bit, but I've met some interesting people on line, including a man I'm related to on BOTH sides who has a huge website going waaaaaaaaay back, and he has connections back in Switzerland who go look in old books to confirm. It isn't that I think my ancestors are so fascinating, but the names give me a "hook" to climb with.

[rutamattatt]

I was going to suggest martial arts, also. About two years ago I realized I had no attainable goals. Short term goals - yes. Really, really long term goals - yes. But nothing to really work towards, if that makes sense. I am not particularly athletic. But I have finally embraced being a martial artist. The physical aspect has been a great stress relief for me, working towards each new belt is a wonderful motivation, and black belt in 2014 is the goal. Not to sound hokey, but it has changed my life and how I think about myself to some degree.

 

As far as volunteering - if you love animals, animal shelters are always looking for extra hands. The kids and I go once a week and we are "cat cuddlers". We literally love, play with, and snuggle cats. It helps them socialize, and I am certain my good blood pressure is due to being with the sweet babies we get to love on.

 

I think it is SO helpful to find a new hobby, pursue a new passion, learn something interesting on our lives. I hope you will keep us posted on what you are thinking of doing so we can cheer you on!!!!

[amyco]

I was thinking genealogy too, and I like the furniture idea.

 

Or maybe learning guitar? Just a few chords and you could be a singer! Even if it's only to yourself.

[Desert Rat]

:grouphug:, first. I don't know what kind of hobby you're looking for.

I find I feel better emotionally and physically when I do yoga. I do high energy yoga. It's no longer on Oxygen but there are a few you tube clips. It's called Inhale with Steve Ross. I have about 12 episodes on VHS that I treat like gold! I feel centered and balanced after 40 minutes of yoga him (or 30 if that's all I have time for.) I just feel better.

I also enjoy digiscrapping. I find that it's almost like journaling for me sometimes. I don't just do pictures on pretty pages. I write about the time I'm going through, or sometimes I just make new pictures for my house. My newest one is a very cool 8 x 10 that simply says, "You are my favorite" with a red arrow pointing down. I hung it about the mirror in my boys' bathroom. Little things. I read. I do sudoku. I try to keep in touch with friends.

Hang in there, Julie. This, too, will pass and you really will be stronger for it. (At least I made it through and I am stronger for it.)

[Carol in Cal.]

There are a couple of books I would recommend. One is "Revolution From Within" by Gloria Steinem. It's about healthy self-esteem, and it is great. Read it slowly and think about each chapter.

 

The other is "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It is written for writers who are 'blocked' but really it is a workshop on creativity. It has weekly assignments, and they are interesting ones.

 

Also, I don't know what you find relaxing, but I usually find that to take my mind off things I have to be involved in design/imaginative work, or completely passive. So either TV/movies or doing a knitting or weaving project that I design myself. That really is engrossing to me. If you don't know how to knit or weave, maybe just signing up for lessons would be distracting.

[Barbara H]

The one thing I would suggest is that if you are considering a hobby that if possible you tie it to a regular commitment. So, that might mean taking an art class in the community, scheduling regular walks with a neighborhood group, or signing up to volunteer each week at the same time. When you are down, it helps to have the firm commitment of a scheduled time. Don't expect instant magic with a new activity, but instead I'd consider it "fake it until you make it."

 

Also, my other suggestion would be to pick a date to mark on your calendar maybe once a month to check in with yourself about your depression level. If this goes on for a while you may need something bigger than a hobby.

[Annie G]

I would suggest a hobby that might not cost a lot to continue in the event finances take a dive. It would really stink to find a hobby you really like just to have it snatched out from under you when you need that money for other things.

 

I took up cycling to alleviate some stress and found that I love it. I used to just go to blow off some steam but now I enjoy riding and having that time to myself. My body is getting into shape AND my mind is in a better place- it's a winner for me.

 

What kinds of things are you leaning towards? Creative, educational, exercise? I have other hobbies- quilting is a favorite- but I don't enjoy quilting every day so I find having several hobbies works well for me.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Go try out a kindle in the largest font size possible and see if you can read on that. I think you can also double space it somehow.

[aggieamy]

Lots of good suggestions already so I'm going to go in a different direction. What about trying to add a new healthy living thing to your life? Try to bicycle to the library or grocery store instead of driving? Teach yourself to cook an interesting type of food or learn how to cook an international meal? Start a journal?

[milovany]

Do you need a job/career? This might sound crazy, but I'm on summer break from my classroom transcription job (see signature tag) and I miss it a lot. I loaded a Khan video today and transcribed it just for fun. :D I both like the actual work itself, and I love helping others by doing what I do. I'm so thankful this kinda fell into my lap almost four years ago. If you want to PM me the links to any colleges near you (and if this interests you of course!), I can let you know if there are any schools near you that use this service.

 

I know, I know, it's not a hobby. But I enjoy it like a hobby, and I get paid for it, too. It's a great situation!

[Audrey]

Don't know if this has been mentioned, but if you have a YMCA around, they often offer a variety of interesting classes, not just exercise. Community Centers or art centers may also offer something to spark your imagination. Try something new and keep trying new things. I find that keeps my brain off of whatever I don’t want it on quite well and, I not only manage to have some fun, I learn a lot of fun things, too.

[KungFuPanda]

Schedule a regular class tha interests you. Yes, finances could dry up and you could be forced to discontinue at some point, BUT I wouldn't use that as an excuse to do nothing NOW. Now is all you really have, so enjoy it.

 

I took yoga and adult beginning ballet classes, and then I found bellydance classes. WAY cheaper than therapy or depression meds. It was great for my body, had an organized progression, and allowed me to form a whole new support system of wonderful women. It's something just for me that challenges my mind and body. Studying dance, remembering choreography, and (gulp) performing with a close group of funny, intelligent women became part of my life and has sustained me through some tough times. I've seen it transform women who never took a dance glass in their lives into joyous performers. It's beautiful.

 

I'm not saying bellydance will be YOUR passion, but you deserve to persue something exciting. Don't be afraid to try, and move on from, a few different things until you find what you like.

[Katy]

Marcus Buckingham has a series of books on this, though honestly in this case is one time I got more from the (free) videos than I did from the books. I think Oprah has him posted as a free seminar in her iTunes channel. Google him and see if you can find the videos.

 

One thing he said in the seminars is to think about what you always wanted to do as a kid. Then think about why you wanted to - what feeling did you think it would give you? What things could you do now that might give you that feeling?

[Night Elf]

:grouphug:

 

Go try out a kindle in the largest font size possible and see if you can read on that. I think you can also double space it somehow.

 

:iagree: This is exactly what I was going to post. I was reading on my Kindle before I got glasses because I could increase the font size and the screen was easy to read. It's called E Ink display. I don't know anything about other ereaders, so I can't help you with a comparison.

[Rebecca VA]

Not only that, but the Kindle Fire is backlit, like a computer, so it's easier to see the print.

[LinRTX]

Julie

 

I have had a very tumultuous year. I found out that my daughter has/had a serious eating disorder. I spent the year trying to figure out what I had done wrong and trying to keep her alive. The only thing that helped my sanity was learning to knit and crochet. I have made and given away many dishcloths. They are quick so I feel a sense of accomplishment and I can try out many new stitches so that it keeps my interest. I can also take it with me anywhere and do it while watching TV with my husband. It is really the only thing (besides prayer) that kept me sane.

 

Linda

[Kim in Appalachia]

My first thought was exercise, since that is what I do.:001_smile: Yoga is great in the evening, or kettle bell for something more dynamic. But you didn't want exercise, so my next thought was learning something new. I love the idea of learning a foreign language. That would be a good diversion, and you could see progress, which is encouraging.

 

:grouphug: I hope you find something you enjoy.

[tadah]

Someone already mentioned this, but I wanted to second the idea of Couch 2 5k. If you have an mp3 player of some sort, you can get podcasts to keep you company and keep you motivated. There are also apps without music, and I like that approach too.

It's not a big time commitment (only 30 min, 3x per week, although I do it more often than that), it starts out slow and easy (well, at least at my speed it does) and it's very satisfying to see the improvement.

I had wanted to restart yoga but was afraid my back wouldn't stand for it. So far the C25k is very easy on me physically. Getting good shoes (Saucony trail runners for me) and good running bras (Lucy) was key. Going first thing in the morning is the other important point for me.

Good luck. I can tell by the responses that your post strikes a chord for many people.

[Starr]

Knitting and quilting usually have groups that get together and work or share projects and love to help newcomers. It would give you something to work on and some new people to get together with.

[Julie in CA]

I looked at various eReaders a little while back. For some reason, I still had trouble with eInk. Reading on the Kindle Fire was easier, but I just couldn't make up my mind to spend the money. One of my kids is considering a Kindle Fire or a Nexus 7 (?). Maybe I can just borrow from the kid. ;)

[Cassy]

Writing? I always think you that write really well, and it can be incredibly therapeutic. What happened to your blog?

[Julie in CA]

Writing? I always think you that write really well, and it can be incredibly therapeutic. What happened to your blog?

I gave up on the blog shortly after I started it, because most of the miseries came around that same time. It's true that I might enjoy that though. Maybe I need to plan time for that into my day. It's a pretty good idea, and might be fun to write, even if no one else ever ends up reading it. ;)

[Cassy]

I gave up on the blog shortly after I started it, because most of the miseries came around that same time. It's true that I might enjoy that though. Maybe I need to plan time for that into my day. It's a pretty good idea, and might be fun to write, even if no one else ever ends up reading it. ;)

 

I used to read it :001_smile:. I'd love to read more, and I'm sure many others would too.

[Rose in BC]

Knitting. It's like a form of meditation. The more anxious/upset I am, the more I knit. Of course, the happier I am the more I knit too.

 

:iagree:

 

Knitting is therapeutic for me too.

[ktgrok]

Many groups collect hand sewn/stuffed teddy bears, for police officers to give to kids that are in car accidents, bad situations, anytime they might be scared or traumatized. Often they will supply the fabric, directions, etc...you just have to put it together. My church where I lived before did this. You could sew them in the evenings while sitting with hubby, and feel good about helping kids.

[Julie in CA]

Do you have any friends locally that you could maybe walk with?

Well, depends how you define "locally". We live out of town, and it costs me around $5 in gas for every trip I make into town. It also seems that everyone I know is very busy, with lots of demands on their time. It would be fun, but I don't think I can make this happen. :sad:

[fairfarmhand]

When I dealt with my depression (nothing going on was as awful as what you've faced recently) I had to make time to exercise each day, even if it was just 15 minutes of Pilates. It helped a lot. My counselor suggested this, along with 15 minutes outdoors and 15 minutes reading the Psalms. All of those helped me feel better.

 

But for something to look forward too....

 

Are there any sweet old people who need to be visited?

 

Get back to your blog. Try to find something to write about each week. I know you don't want to write depressing stuff, so you may need to seek out ideas intentionally. Put the link in your signature so that I can read it! :)

 

I like the furniture idea.

 

Would you want to raise some baby chicks? My chickens are so hilarious to watch.

 

I taught myself to draw. I chose drawing because it doesn't make a mess and is not expensive to do.

 

Hope you figure it out. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

Could you learn a new language with Rosetta Stone (it's like a game to me, so I find it fun)? Your library may have it, or maybe someone here could loan it to you.

 

Do you have a Wii? Wii Fit is fun, and you can track your progress. It's pretty easy to do if you are a larger woman, like I am. Just play the games at first.

 

Are you on Pinterest? They have tons of DIY ideas that don't cost much. Maybe you could make some preschool baggies or games for a homeschool mom you know or you could offer some at a co-op.

 

Can you volunteer a couple of times a week? My mil sings/plays guitar at a nursing home. She also does a lot at church.

 

I'm sorry, I've forgotten if you are a Christian, but maybe an intensive bible study would be fun for you? I love the Beth Moore stuff and I actually can't wait to get to the next lesson each day. Or, maybe a book discussion group? You could read and then get out of the house for a while. Or do it online.

 

Could you take an online course?

 

Does your library have Teaching Company dvds? There are some really intriguing ones. I've only seen parts of the Odyssey one (used it with ds for high school), but the math ones and the history ones always seem so interesting.

Lots of good ideas here, thank you. I'd planned to have my girls learn some Spanish this year, so I might just go along with whatever I have them do (Had narrowed it down to Rosetta Stone or Learnables, any input?).

 

We do have a Wii, and that might be fun too, but I feel kind of stupid trying it when the kids are around. Why is it that the kids always seem to instinctively know what to do, and I'm always saying, "what am I supposed to do now?". :blush: We have Zumba for the Wii, and I kind of always wanted to try it. The kids never ended up interested. If I can just get all of my dc to go away and let me try it privately, without an audience! :glare:

 

I am a Christian, and I was attending a Beth Moore study before things became...difficult, but I dropped it when life became more than I could bear for a while there. I think maybe I should do one of the online studies. I can't remember how much it cost, so I'll have to go look again.

 

As for volunteering at church, you know how at a lot of small churches, there's one or two women who seem to do everything? Yeah, that was me. I organized meals for shut-ins, planned the potlucks, invited the ladies from church to my home for monthly breakfast/prayer, made sure the nursery had water bottles for nursing mommies, and made sure the ladies' room had Dixie cups & great smelling lotion.

 

As things seemed to bottom out for me, dh and I were called before the Spiritual Council. Because I had asked the pastor for a recommendation for a marriage counselor, and my dh is a deacon, they were concerned about our choice of marriage therapist. Our pastor had, in fact, researched an entire bio on our therapist, called him and asked about his qualifications and methods, and was extremely unhappy with our choice. The therapist I picked was a Baptist minister for 25 years before determining that he felt called to the counseling aspect, so he left his position as pastor and went back to school to earn a second master's degree and become an MFT. Great choice, imo, but our pastor was unhappy because the therapist's listed methods weren't overtly Christian or Biblical. Our counseling sessions however, are very Biblical.

 

In any case, we were found to not be accepting the counsel of the elders and pastor of our church, and one of the consequences seems to be that I am no longer called upon to do any of the things I was doing in the past. I'm ok with that, since for a while I didn't have the mental energy to cheerfully carry out those kinds of activities. I guess I miss it a bit, but my dh pointed out to me that for my entire adult life I've really gone above and beyond in my service to others, including my family, and he wishes I would find some things that are *just for me*, without any intention or motive of serving anyone else for a while. I respect his opinion, and I think he's mostly right that for a time, I should probably not seek to serve anyone else. Long explanation, huh? I just didn't think I could say that volunteering isn't right for me (just for right now), without explaining why, since a couple of people have mentioned volunteering. It's a great idea, just not for me, right now. :001_unsure:

Edited July 9, 2012 by Julie in CA

[Julie in CA]

When I dealt with my depression (nothing going on was as awful as what you've faced recently) I had to make time to exercise each day, even if it was just 15 minutes of Pilates. It helped a lot. My counselor suggested this, along with 15 minutes outdoors and 15 minutes reading the Psalms. All of those helped me feel better.

 

But for something to look forward too....

 

Are there any sweet old people who need to be visited?

 

Get back to your blog. Try to find something to write about each week. I know you don't want to write depressing stuff, so you may need to seek out ideas intentionally. Put the link in your signature so that I can read it! :)

 

I like the furniture idea.

 

Would you want to raise some baby chicks? My chickens are so hilarious to watch.

 

I taught myself to draw. I chose drawing because it doesn't make a mess and is not expensive to do.

 

Hope you figure it out. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I think the 15 minute thing is brilliant. I know that if I don't make this a routine, things won't really get better. I can start the 15 thing today, and that would be good for me.

 

My kids brought home a stray dog a couple of months ago, and she presented us with 7 puppies a couple of weeks later. :glare: All of the puppies have been given to their new homes except the tiny runt, who is now ours. :001_wub: It is fun to watch, play with, and train the puppy. See, I was having fun, and I didn't even realize it. Thanks for pointing that out. :)

 

Drawing does sound fun. How did you learn to do it? I know that when I was a kid, I loved drawing, though I don't know that I had any skill or talent at all. I guess that doesn't really matter though, and I seriously need to get past the idea that I have to be good at everything I put my hand to. That one mindset has done *so much damage* in my life, and has sapped me of so much possible joy over the years. :(

[Julie in CA]

Julie

 

I have had a very tumultuous year. I found out that my daughter has/had a serious eating disorder. I spent the year trying to figure out what I had done wrong and trying to keep her alive. The only thing that helped my sanity was learning to knit and crochet. I have made and given away many dishcloths. They are quick so I feel a sense of accomplishment and I can try out many new stitches so that it keeps my interest. I can also take it with me anywhere and do it while watching TV with my husband. It is really the only thing (besides prayer) that kept me sane.

 

Linda

Linda, I'm so very sorry about your dd. :grouphug:

 

That's one of the few things that hasn't gone wrong (yet), and I find myself holding my breath and praying that even though it seems like everything else is falling apart in my life, my kids seem to be ok (so far).

 

Is it too personal to ask if your dd has made progress toward healing? I'll pray for her (and you) this morning.

[maddykate]

I hit a low spot of depression and I decided to get a horse :). The act of training and taking care of our horses has been so wonderfully theraputic for me. I have no choice but to get up and active every single day because I have horses waiting on me to feed them. It made me step outside of myself and my situation and realize that I can still enjoy life. It gave me an activity to work on with my children and truly boosted me into living again.

 

I hope you find something that can bring joy to your life. :)

[Berta]

I haven't read all the responses but wanted to add mine.

 

I have chickens and they are so therapeutic for me. I never would have believed it if someone told me two years ago the peace and solace I get when I am sitting with them.

 

I take a book and go sit with my chickens. I have hatched most of mine and it's so much fun to watch them grow. Watching their antics adds a little humor to my day. And... the bonus is that they also provide me with eggs.

[Julie in CA]

Bless you for being such a wonderful, compassionate wife.

I don't feel wonderful, or compassionate. I feel...gullible, needy, pitiful, and pathetic. I'm working on feeling wonderful and compassionate though, does that count? :001_huh: