What is it about me that makes people not respond to my posts?

[StaceyinLA]

I feel like after 8-10 years on the boards, I could ask for a prayer request and get more than 5 or 6 responses. It seems like any thread I start (unless it's something that turns controversial) gets next to no response. When I post within a thread, it is rarely acknowledged at all.

 

Anyone want to be brutally honest with me and tell me what it is?

[Elinor Everywhere]

I feel like after 8-10 years on the boards, I could ask for a prayer request and get more than 5 or 6 responses. It seems like any thread I start (unless it's something that turns controversial) gets next to no response. When I post within a thread, it is rarely acknowledged at all.

 

Anyone want to be brutally honest with me and tell me what it is?

 

Never fear, Stacey, you are not alone. :D

[*~Tina~*]

I don't have an answer but I am sorry you feel this way. It's a big board...I know I personally get overwhelmed sometimes...even so I do read anything labeled prayer request and offer prayers up whether or not I respond on the board.

 

:grouphug:

[QueenCat]

I don't intentionally ignore your posts.

 

:grouphug:

 

Me either.

[Wabi Sabi]

 

Anyone want to be brutally honest with me and tell me what it is?

 

I don't know you at all, but if you want brutal honesty, I'm going to say that you're reading way too far into this and most likely making an issue out of something that isn't even an issue in the first place. Some posts get a lot of responses, some don't. That's how it goes on internet forums. I highly doubt that people ignore your posts based solely on the fact that they're *yours!*

 

And FWIW, I don't generally post on prayer requests at all. I'm just not the praying type. I'm sure I'm not alone. ;)

[KristenR]

I hear you. I get bummed sometimes when a post of mine never garners any responses. But I seem to noticed my comments on the K-8 curriculum boards are always responded to. I think the general board is just overwhelming and faster paced. Things get lost quicker here.

 

Sorry you feel this way.

[fraidycat]

:grouphug: I didn't want to leave a "view" number with no response.

 

I feel the same way on another forum that I post on. I've "known" the members for 10ish years now - and actually have met many of them in person. I just assume they have nothing to add, or if I'm feeling really self critical or sorry for myself and want to take it personally, then I'll decide that I'm just not that interesting. That feeling usually passes fairly quickly, though. I am guilty of reading posts, but if I have nothing constructive to add, I'll click on by to the next one.

[clementine]

I am not a super frequent poster here, but here is my reason for not responding....not to you personally, but in general.

 

I often read on my ipad. I hate typing on my ipad, so I read posts & file them away in my brain. If I remember, I will scroll back when on my laptop, find the post, and type out a response. Most often, though, I forget which post I wanted to reply to or what 'smart' reply I was going to add.

 

This time of year gets so busy that I do take the time to read here & pray for posters, but I just don't often take the time to respond.

 

:grouphug: I wish there was a box that I could check on posts that would indicate "I'm thinking of you." Maybe I should just get a keyboard for my ipad. :tongue_smilie:

[Mrs Mungo]

I don't know you at all, but if you want brutal honesty, I'm going to say that you're reading way too far into this and most likely making an issue out of something that isn't even an issue in the first place. Some posts get a lot of responses, some don't. That's how it goes on internet forums. I highly doubt that people ignore your posts based solely on the fact that they're *yours!*

 

:iagree:

 

Look at this list of threads that I've posted. http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/search.php?searchid=11179464

 

I got a big response about my prayer request for my sister. I really appreciated it. I was so stressed and worried that I was beside myself. I was so relieved when the test testing her spinal fluid was negative. It means she still has a chance. I'm so grateful to God and everyone here for their thoughts and prayers. We are just hoping for a miracle at this point.

 

Aside from that, most of my threads with lots of responses have been polls. Most of my normal, non-poll threads get 2-8 responses. Sometimes threads get lots of posts, and sometimes they don't. *shrug*

Edited March 19, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[astrid]

I"ll bite:

I don't often respond to prayer requests. I'm not the praying sort, though I do always keep a good thought for the cause when I see those threads. You always specifically ask for prayers, and I know you are quite religious, so I don't want to offend you if you really do specifically only want prayers. But I always think nice thoughts for your and your loved ones when you request, I just don't reply because what I send heavenward is probably not what would fit your definition of a "prayer."

 

Also, I don't really have much to say about Disney, and when I think of your posts, for some reason teen pregnancy and Disney come to mind. :001_smile: That's not a bad thing-- just what I associate with your posts, neither of which I know much about, except in the sort of societal/social issues sense (see my contributions to the condoms in Springfield, MA thread.) Just as I"m sure people see my name and think "dogs." Those are just the personas we've developed, no?

 

And if I am honest, I'd have to say that I have a personal discomfort about your signature quote: "We vote pro-life and pro-family!" To me, it violates board rules of no politics, though I've never said anything. I always feel like it implies that those of us who don't vote pro-life are not pro-family, or somesuch. I'm sure that's not how you intend it, but I do feel it's kind of, I dont' know, akward to advertise your politics and voting record here, as part of your signature. It bothers me a bit.

 

That said, I do wish your family safe travels to far-off Hawaii, and you peace and acceptance as you cope with their departure. I know that little guy was with you for a long time and you must be feeling such an emptiness in your house without that sweet baby and his momma. I also think that you're hurting right now, feeling their loss, and it's made you kind of sensitive to things-- be kind to yourself and know that nobody really ignores your posts!! I certainly don't!! It's all good-- the ever-ebbing and flowing life of a message board, you know? Chocolate and wine, dear.

 

Peace,

Astrid

[SJ.]

I don't intentionally ignore anyone. To be honest, there are many threads I don't respond to because I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said. I am sorry if you or someone close to you is having a problem that warrants prayers, I hope everything turns out ok. :grouphug:

[sparrow]

I find I get fewer responses to posts at certain times of day or on, say, Sunday mornings. I was never part of a "popular" crowd so I guess I'm used to it.:grouphug:

 

ETA: I'm not being snarky and referring to a popular crowd *here*. I'm referring to my general "I'll just stand here in the corner and listen" persona :). I was worried this could be taken wrong.

Edited March 19, 2012 by sparrow

[Whereneverever]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Jennifer in MI]

I read your request for prayer because your dd left when I was in the car and I was on my phone. It is really hard to type on it and so I never respond when on my phone. I usually try to remember those posts that I want to respond to and come home and do it from my home computer.

 

Honestly, you are one of the posters I make sure to read!

[DawnM]

I am responding! I see you!

[Mothersweets]

I'm not a responder to prayer request posts - so it isn't *you*. :) A lot of the time I find I don't have much to add to a certain post so I will end up not posting because everything has already been said. I almost didn't post anything here because of that. :tongue_smilie:

[jenangelcat]

I don't know you at all, but if you want brutal honesty, I'm going to say that you're reading way too far into this and most likely making an issue out of something that isn't even an issue in the first place. Some posts get a lot of responses, some don't. That's how it goes on internet forums. I highly doubt that people ignore your posts based solely on the fact that they're *yours!*

 

And FWIW, I don't generally post on prayer requests at all. I'm just not the praying type. I'm sure I'm not alone. ;)

 

Ditto to everything Wabi Sabi said.

[astrid]

:grouphug: I didn't want to leave a "view" number with no response.

 

I feel the same way on another forum that I post on. I've "known" the members for 10ish years now - and actually have met many of them in person. I just assume they have nothing to add, or if I'm feeling really self critical or sorry for myself and want to take it personally, then I'll decide that I'm just not that interesting. That feeling usually passes fairly quickly, though. I am guilty of reading posts, but if I have nothing constructive to add, I'll click on by to the next one.

 

Me too. AND I forgot to add that I hate typing replies on my iphone!

 

astrid

[AmyontheFarm]

I'm not a responder to prayer request posts - so it isn't *you*. :) A lot of the time I find I don't have much to add to a certain post so I will end up not posting because everything has already been said. I almost didn't post anything here because of that. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

[Ohdanigirl]

:grouphug: I think sometime threads get lost during high traffic times. It happens to me all the time.

 

Danielle

[myfunnybunch]

:grouphug:

 

I often feel the same way. I try to remind myself it's most likely this:

Some posts get a lot of responses, some don't. That's how it goes on internet forums. I highly doubt that people ignore your posts based solely on the fact that they're *yours!*

 

...and not personal.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

[StaceyinLA]

I probably am reading more into it, but then, I'm having an especially cry-baby sort of day.

 

I don't always respond to the prayer request threads either, even though I often read them and pray for those involved, so I guess I should be more understanding about that.

 

Gee Astrid - never really thought of myself as the "teen pregnancy" person, even though I guess I did have that time in my life. Bummer that I could be perceived that way forever in people's minds in my WTM board life. :-(

 

I am also sad that my signature is a turn-off to some. It's just who I am. I don't see that as any different from ones that add stuff about being atheist or any other thing they stand for. I don't generally avoid people's posts based on those things, though I'm sure it would color the way I'd weigh their responses on certain matters and vice versa. I can see how the "vote" aspect makes it seem political to some so I think I will make a wording change.

 

And hey, I'm up for taking in good thoughts from those that don't pray! I often offer prayers for those who ask for good thoughts. I guess that's just my way of giving good thoughts!

Edited March 19, 2012 by StaceyinLA

[Tohru]

:grouphug:

 

At one time or another, I felt like I was being ignored until I looked at my own posting habits. I only read posts that are on the first page or two when I log in. It's about timing for me. There are very few people on this board that I will actually seek out. Please don't take it personal. Next time you feel ignored, try bumping your own posts at other times of day to get a better response. :grouphug:v

[mommymilkies]

I'm not a responder to prayer request posts - so it isn't *you*. :) A lot of the time I find I don't have much to add to a certain post so I will end up not posting because everything has already been said. I almost didn't post anything here because of that. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree: I also have 5 kids running around me in circles. I often have 20 tabs up and I try to get back and read and respond, but I don't always make it. :lol:

[PeacefulChaos]

It happens to me all the time, too. :) So you aren't alone...

I can say that a lot of times I don't respond to posts because a lot of times, I have no experience with what the OP is about. :)

 

ETA: Oh, and things get lost here really quick, because it's so fast moving. But I feel ya, I sometimes feel completely invisible! :D

Edited March 19, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[mlktwins]

:grouphug:

 

I saw your post this morning and offered up a prayer. I do that for most of the prayer requests that are posted. I just don't comment to the OP. I've only been on here a couple of years, but I'm usually a thread killer so I don't post a lot :D!

 

I wouldn't take it personally, but I know that is easier said than done!

[Guest]

I actually had posted a response to one of your threads this morning. Honestly, I deleted the whole thing because right before I hit submit, I thought about all the times I've felt inferior due to my lack of experience in life, kids, and homeschooling (not by you!) and I thought, no one really cares what I think. I often find myself thinking this in reference to a post and it is a reason that I don't post as much as I'd like. It's just a personal issue that I need to get over.

 

What I had posted about earlier was that I am sorry about you being separated from your family. I see my mom once a year and I know that "tear your heart out" feeling that you were describing.

[melissel]

For me, it's a combination of a lot of the things people mentioned: I'm often reading on my phone and I hate responding on there; I tend to read quickly in short intervals, so I only click on threads that catch my eye and that I can answer quickly; I'm not the praying sort; and so on. However, I've often felt the way you do lately. I've posted a few things that only got 1 response or even none. I even thought about asking about it. But then I started paying attention and noticing that some threads are going by with few or no responses, even when well-established posters have started them. I think it's just one of those things--some threads get lots of attention and some get less. Especially in nice weather and on weekend nights, threads can drop off the first page and go virtually unnoticed.

 

Don't take it personally :grouphug:

[G5052]

I've been here a decade or so as well, and rarely post my personal crises like I used to. The board moves too fast and isn't as intimate as it once was.

[Tammyla]

I just missed the thread; I wish there was another board for them.

 

:grouphug:Prayers:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

:grouphug:

 

Don't take it personally. It happens. Maybe train yourself to check the number of views instead of the number of replies. On average a thread will have about 40 views to each reply.

[swellmomma]

:grouphug:

 

Don't take it personally. It happens. Maybe train yourself to check the number of views instead of the number of replies. On average a thread will have about 40 views to each reply.

 

:iagree:This I have seen. I used to worry about it like you OP and if having a particularily ew day I still might but generally I have learned that not everyone has time to post a reply but if people are stopped by my thread and reading it I am still being heard kwim. Unless your threads have only 2-3 views with that 0-1 replies I would not worry about it and accept it is the nature of the board. Some posts get lots of replies, some don't. SOme posters do, some don't. It is not high school no one is being shunned because of who they are etc.

 

It feels good when people do reply (even better is when you are quoted ;) I got quoted a lot in one thread the other day and it made my night lol) But not having 10 pages of replies is not necessarily a bad thing, people have taken the time to read the post and either don't have time or means to respond right then, or they have nothing to add at that point

[RoughCollie]

I read your post at 3 a.m. and prayed. I made it official a few minutes ago by posting on your thread. I figure that when people make prayer requests, the number of views counts more than the number of responses.

 

I do try to respond because I know how much that matters from my own prayer threads. This morning, I was too tired. I took a long nap, and now I'm not.

[Julie in CA]

I feel like after 8-10 years on the boards, I could ask for a prayer request and get more than 5 or 6 responses.

Anyone want to be brutally honest with me and tell me what it is?

First of all, I have *absolutely no desire* to be brutally honest. I'm hoping that the honesty doesn't end up brutal at all, though I am going to give you the honestly you've requested.

 

I don't respond to most prayer requests, though I do pray for some of them. In order for me to add it to my prayer list, it has to be a very drastic situation, where there's a large possibility that without divine intervention, there will be a profound loss of life or limb. For the other things, I'm there in support of all who are suffering, but (here's the honesty part) I also trust in the fact that you will soldier on. That you're strong enough to get through this in the same way you've done other difficult things in life.

 

To be more specific, I would cry also, were I in your position with a grandbaby headed home. At the same time, I would expect that one of my friends would point out that I'd been super-duper blessed to have had the time I did, and to help me refocus on when I might be able to plan a future visit. However, I am not your IRL friend, and I wasn't sure my encouragement would be construed as such. So...I kept my brand of encouragement to myself.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

ETA: Most of this stems from the fact that I haven't yet figured out how to literally "pray without ceasing". I will forget, I will run out of time, or I will find that I have 5,000 other concerns to pray for and about. It's a weakness of mine that I can't commit to prayer sometimes, not a reflection of disapproval that you've asked.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Julie in CA

[EKS]

I don't know you at all, but if you want brutal honesty, I'm going to say that you're reading way too far into this and most likely making an issue out of something that isn't even an issue in the first place. Some posts get a lot of responses, some don't. That's how it goes on internet forums. I highly doubt that people ignore your posts based solely on the fact that they're *yours!*

 

And FWIW, I don't generally post on prayer requests at all. I'm just not the praying type. I'm sure I'm not alone. ;)

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

I'm sorry, I didn't catch it!

[TammyinTN]

Never fear, Stacey, you are not alone. :D

 

I feel that way about some of my post. ;)

[SKL]

I very rarely post on prayer threads. I usually do offer up a prayer, though.

 

Honestly, I think sometimes people won't read / respond if they can't tell what you are talking about within the first line or two of your post. For me, at least, my computer is so slow (and bombs so easily) that I can only open selected threads. If I can't tell what the thread is about (more or less) from the cursor preview, I usually won't open it.

 

So when I post a new thread, I try to title it as clearly as possible and try to put the gist of it in the first 10 words or so of the post.

 

But, some of my posts go quite commentless as well.

[meggie]

Some thoughts (honesty, but none brutal. I know how you feel)-

 

~I had wanted to reply to the one about your daughter leaving, but I'm only on the computer in the morning while I'm nursing my daughter. She only takes about five minutes and there was so much I wanted to say, but knew I couldn't get to with one handed typing. When I came on later, I had completely forgotten about it.

 

~I generally lurk without signing in until I reply to a post. So signing in to give a :grouphug: usually only happens when something is a life or death type of scenario. I still like to send good thoughts though.

 

~Unless it is life or death, prayer threads tend to only get about 5-6 responses anyway. Yes, I do know how vulnerable you felt and how much it hurts to see so many views, but so few responses.

 

~In a saddened/hurting state of mind, people tend to be more self oriented. It's easy to take a lot of things more personally while in that frame of mind than they really are. I think it's normal and as soon as your pain subsides you will see that it wasn't personal at all. And again :grouphug: because I totally get it.

[J-rap]

I'm sure it wasn't meant personally. I didn't see your post. I don't leave a lot of comments myself, usually because I only feel like I should comment on ones that I have some experience in, instead of just giving an opinion. I can't tell you how many times I've begun a response, only to think, "I have nothing more to say than what others have already said, " or "Do I really know enough about this to comment?" Then I delete it.

 

I know there are lots of people on this board, and as others have said, it moves quickly and threads can get lost. I think a lot of it depends on who happens to be on at the time.

[StaceyinLA]

I really am just being overly emotional, and I know that. I know I have been SO blessed to have that baby here with me all this time. I am just so sappy about things, and I hate that his whole world is changing, even if I KNOW it's for the best.

 

Gosh I feel for separated families. I have never had to experience this, and it is really hard.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I"ll bite:

I don't often respond to prayer requests. I'm not the praying sort, though I do always keep a good thought for the cause when I see those threads. You always specifically ask for prayers, and I know you are quite religious, so I don't want to offend you if you really do specifically only want prayers. But I always think nice thoughts for your and your loved ones when you request, I just don't reply because what I send heavenward is probably not what would fit your definition of a "prayer."

 

 

:iagree:

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug: The board moves fast. I never saw your original post. I know sometimes I get replies to posts, sometimes I don't. For me personally, I read a lot more threads than I respond too. Many times I just think someone already said what I would say so why repeat it. Other times, I just simply don't have an answer. It is frustrating not to get replies when you want them, but like I said, I know the board moves fast. :)

[KrissiK]

Never fear, Stacey, you are not alone. :D

 

:iagree: I feel this way, too, sometimes. I try not to take it personally, because I don't think it's personal. At least not for most of us around here.

[In the Rain]

Maybe it has to do with the time of day??

[Teachin'Mine]

I feel like after 8-10 years on the boards, I could ask for a prayer request and get more than 5 or 6 responses. It seems like any thread I start (unless it's something that turns controversial) gets next to no response. When I post within a thread, it is rarely acknowledged at all.

 

Anyone want to be brutally honest with me and tell me what it is?

 

 

That would be 5 or 6 more than I've gotten. :tongue_smilie:

 

Let's put it this way, I'm afraid to respond too much, within threads I've started, for fear of killing them.

 

You're not alone. :grouphug:

[ThisIsTheDay]

- never really thought of myself as the "teen pregnancy" person,

 

.......

 

 

I am also sad that my signature is a turn-off to some.

 

......

 

 

Stacy, responses like this are what might keep people from giving you the honesty you say you want. If you are asking for that honesty, you need to be prepared to accept what's given, not try to excuse it.

 

I would assume that a long time poster knows others will pray without responding and not need that additional reassurance. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. It would never occur to me to be upset if I didn't get a certain number of responses to a prayer request.

 

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.

[goldberry]

I really am just being overly emotional, and I know that. I know I have been SO blessed to have that baby here with me all this time. I am just so sappy about things, and I hate that his whole world is changing, even if I KNOW it's for the best.

 

Gosh I feel for separated families. I have never had to experience this, and it is really hard.

 

:grouphug:

[astrid]

I probably am reading more into it, but then, I'm having an especially cry-baby sort of day.

Hey, sweetie- everyone's entitled to those now and again!

I don't always respond to the prayer request threads either, even though I often read them and pray for those involved, so I guess I should be more understanding about that.

 

Gee Astrid - never really thought of myself as the "teen pregnancy" person, even though I guess I did have that time in my life. Bummer that I could be perceived that way forever in people's minds in my WTM board life. :-(

Well don't forget, I don't KNOW you in real life. We all assign bits of memories and info to help classify our world. I just remember clearly your multiple pregnancy/miscarriage posts about your daughters and your great Disney advice.

 

I am also sad that my signature is a turn-off to some. It's just who I am. I don't see that as any different from ones that add stuff about being atheist or any other thing they stand for. I don't generally avoid people's posts based on those things, though I'm sure it would color the way I'd weigh their responses on certain matters and vice versa. I can see how the "vote" aspect makes it seem political to some so I think I will make a wording change.

Hard for me to take "vote" as anything BUT political. I'm sure I'd get lots of glances askance if I were to add, "I vote pro choice and Democratic" to every one of my posts.

 

And hey, I'm up for taking in good thoughts from those that don't pray! I often offer prayers for those who ask for good thoughts. I guess that's just my way of giving good thoughts!

As I said, you've always got mine! :-)

 

Response above, in color (i hope) Apologies for the disjointedness and brevity; I'm replying on my phone.

 

Astrid

[StaceyinLA]

Stacy, responses like this are what might keep people from giving you the honesty you say you want. If you are asking for that honesty, you need to be prepared to accept what's given, not try to excuse it.

 

I would assume that a long time poster knows others will pray without responding and not need that additional reassurance. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. It would never occur to me to be upset if I didn't get a certain number of responses to a prayer request.

 

I was accepting it, and mulling it over. Does it mean I can't be sad that I'm the "teen pregnancy" mom because ONE of my FOUR children had teen pregnancy issues that I posted about? I'm honestly saddened that THAT is what I am known for by some - not exactly my finest parenting hour.

 

I was also explaining the signature issue, and being honestly sorry/disappointed that people would be turned off by it. If that is a problem, then now I understand why some people might have issue. If I have to compromise my beliefs/feelings to get posts, then I have a choice to make. Either way, I took the criticism just fine. I'm not angry. I DID remove the word vote from my signature to hopefully tone down the political angle of it.

 

>>I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.<<

 

Thank you.