74Heaven Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 How would you feel if a co op teacher said, "You just need to shut your trap, mister" to your 11yo son when he was being overly enthusiastic and talking way too much and way too loud during an 8am science class at a Christian co op? Inappropriate always? Just another way to say, "be quiet"? I had mixed feelings. We don't say "shut up" at all. We say "be quiet" in various shades of annoyance, including yelling! We use virtually no profanity. My friend had been having a bad morning. She is an amazing teacher. She has a very high tolerance for noise (compared to me). This woman is also a pillar of the co op; works nonstop to make it happen. And I totally appreciate her. My son felt embarrassed and my daughter (and another 11yo boy - he was in my car on the way home) were also in the class and they said the whole class got quiet and was upset/surprised that she said "those words". The second adult in the class was gone to grab a supply for the teacher. I prayed and felt awful about calling my (new) friend on it, but felt I had to because I don't think those words should ever be said in a co op setting unless they are followed by "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I think they are a bad example to the kids and nothing we want to model. I wasn't overly upset because I know this woman's heart; her commitment to the kids and she is a great lady. My son and I talked it over very well and I helped him see that she was stressed, he had disregarded her warnings and she didn't "mean" anything other than "be quiet". I helped him see her perspective and also recognize how his behavior was wrong. We talked it over, I kept him on the phone and we called her. My son started by apologizing for his talking, not obeying. (I had hoped that would prompt and apology but it did not. She was gracious and forgiving and affirmed her affection for my son, his smarts, etc.) So I had my son go ahead and explain how he felt when she said the "shut...trap" phrase to him. He used words like "I felt it was rude and I felt disrespected." She was gracious and seemed to understand that it was a bad choice or words in a co op class setting. But she didn't offer that perspective until we talked a little more. But I've heard her talk like that before in an adult relating-a-story context - so I am wondering if she thinks saying those words to a kid in co op is no big deal? I was very proud of my 11yo son. He was scared to call but our pre-talk and prayer together and my insistence that (as much as possible, I would help him) he needed to handle it since it happened to him and he was the one upset and I supported him and agreed with him. (When I started to suggest that he call her with me on the phone too, I was kind of feeling him out to see if he could handle it. If he had been totally unable (or completely reluctant - he was not), I would have stepped in.) He did very well. What do you think? Like me, totally inappropriate? Or is it, "just another way to say 'be quiet'? Lisaj mom to 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Inappropriate inappropriate inappropriate Why are people constantly making excuses for co-op "teachers"? What if it was a public school teacher? Would it be okay? What if iit was a private or parochial school? Would it be okay? I personally would not let any adult talk to my child like that and not say anything about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Well, it seems a bit harsh but I think it would depend on how it was said. I can see saying that in a joking manner to try and get the point across lightly but firmly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74Heaven Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Gingersmom - I'm not making excuses. But I realize we all make mistakes; we all get frustrated and we all say things we wish we hadn't said later. It happens in classrooms every day. Including far, far worse in public schools. I also realize not everyone considers that kind of talking totally inappropriate. Lots of people swear and use words we don't. Thanks for letting me know you are in the same camp as me - inappropriate! Lisa J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Sounds like nothing to me. Those words have lost their meanings around here, and truly mean just the same as " please be quiet" Now, had she said "shut the F* up", it would have been different. But 'shut your trap' is nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Honestly? It wouldn't have been a big deal here. He was acting up and got called on it… the "disrespectful" bit? Tit for tat, really. It's not us though…it's you. Obviously it *did* bother you, so you dealt with it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74Heaven Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 soror - I did check immed. with the kids (I heard about it first at 130pm on the way home in the car). They were all certain she wasn't kidding. This was also confirmed in my phone call. Friend/teacher basically said, I was stressed, He needed to be quiet. I had told him several times. And she said, "not the best choice or words". That was my first thought. My family and her family socialized a few times this summer. Her son and my son tend to get on each other's nerves and I have talked a few times about this and this mom has been totally cool with the tension/relationship between the two sons. (We have come to agree that her son is easily annoyed and my son is good at annoying. Dangerous combination. Both super off-the-charts smart kids.) Just an aside - my son struggles with talking to much in all his classes and is ADHD and I so appreciate her affection for my son and her whole attitude of "it is not a problem (his behavior), I will let you know if it is." THanks for mentioning the kidding angle. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Would not even be on my radar as inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Just an aside - my son struggles with talking to much in all his classes and is ADHD and I so appreciate her affection for my son and her whole attitude of "it is not a problem (his behavior), I will let you know if it is." Lisa This is OT but this jumped out at me. Are you familiar with Dabrowski's overexcitabilities in gifted kids? Worth reading about. Also the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of the Gifted Child. http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10308.aspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Honestly? It wouldn't have been a big deal here. He was acting up and got called on it… the "disrespectful" bit? Tit for tat, really. It's not us though…it's you. Obviously it *did* bother you, so you dealt with it. :) :iagree: at our co-op, he would have been excused from class to sit with you if he couldn't get himself under control after being asked to settle repeatedly. I wouldn't have bat an eye over her comment. But it DID bother you, which is the important thing, and you dealt with it gracefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Honestly, if that's how co-op teachers act, I don't plan on being a part of any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wouldn't have bothered me. But then again, "shut up" doesn't really bother me either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 i'd have to know the person, but if you say her heart is good - i can only imagine that she said it in a joking way (half silly, but hey...we need to focus here guys). "shut your trap, mister" doesn't sound firm or harsh to *me*, but more-so like she was trying to gain control through humor. i'm sorry your son was upset. i think talking to her was the right thing, but i don't think her intent was to embarrass or upset anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My first thought was: in the 50's another could spank/hit a kid! Not that i think that's okay, but telling a kid to be quiet... Repeatedly is not a big deal. Btw, i don't use or like shut up either, it sounds harsh. I think your friend meant to be harsh beacause your son was not heeding her previous requests for silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I would have told him to shut up next time. We tend to be 'gruff' though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I don't understand how it is inapropriate. If she had said "close your trap" would that be better???? Why is shut worse than close? Or is it that it was descriptive rather than directive? I really don't get it. i could see being upset with her tone of voice, if she seemed like she was losing control, but that could happen even if she yelled "be quiet!!!". So for me, it would be an issue if she was losing control, but not an issue of words. I really really don't understand what is offensive in those words???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Well, it seems a bit harsh but I think it would depend on how it was said. I can see saying that in a joking manner to try and get the point across lightly but firmly. I use language like that with the kids in the neighborhood all the time. When I'm not irritated, just need them to be quiet for a minute I'll holler for them to "Shut your trap for a minute". They know I'm not being mean. If I got quiet and told them to stop talking this instant, that would be way more serious. Tone is everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I would say it was very rude based both on what she said and how the class reacted. Personally, I wouldn't speak to a child or adult that way, but I also was raised to believe shut-up was rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brightside Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 So I had my son go ahead and explain how he felt when she said the "shut...trap" phrase to him. He used words like "I felt it was rude and I felt disrespected." What the teacher said would not have bothered me (it was basically a more stern 'be quiet'. The teacher and the class were being disrespected by the boy. If it was my son, I would have explained it like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barb B Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Honestly, if that's how co-op teachers act, I don't plan on being a part of any. :iagree: Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 It sounds a little harsh, but I think the circumstances were trying. She'd already asked the kid several times to be quiet and was desperate for him to shut up. She accomplished her objective, and in the process stunned the entire class. That's not entirely bad. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) My son felt embarrassed and my daughter (and another 11yo boy - he was in my car on the way home) were also in the class and they said the whole class got quiet and was upset/surprised that she said "those words". The second adult in the class was gone to grab a supply for the teacher. I think your son being embarrassed is an appropriate response for being called out on bad behaviour and is neither here nor there on the issue. I think that, yes, it was probably inappropriate but the fact is that people get fed up/frustrated and sometimes say or do things that push the boundaries of what's appropriate or not. these things happen. She didn't swear or get hateful or violent. She just lost her cool a bit. It happens and it's good for kids to realize they're behaviour can have that affect on people so they learn to control their actions a bit. Edited September 17, 2011 by WishboneDawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 It sounds a little harsh, but I think the circumstances were trying. She'd already asked the kid several times to be quiet and was desperate for him to shut up. She accomplished her objective, and in the process stunned the entire class. That's not entirely bad. :) This. There are behaviors (and sometimes lack of behaviors) needed for effective class time. I've noticed that in homeschool class settings, it can be difficult for moms (it IS usually the moms, not the Dads) to fully transition to typical expectation of a class. My school (where I teach) started as a hybrid - a lot of homeschooling paradigm continued. Parents sent their kids to class (or, too school if they used all the classes) but continued to want to make it homeschool in a different setting. In the OP's case, the son did not have appropriate class behavior, the teacher tried several times to have him cooperate and make a better choice, and she ultimately used graphic terms that got the job done. I don't believe that stunned class = inherent problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 What the teacher said would not have bothered me (it was basically a more stern 'be quiet'. The teacher and the class were being disrespected by the boy. If it was my son, I would have explained it like that. :iagree:It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. A loud child who won't be quiet after several requests needs something done to get his attention. That's what she did, and apparently it worked. It's not fair to the whole class when one child is disobedient and constantly interrupting the lesson. And honestly, the teacher doesn't have all day to teach. It sounds like she had asked him several times to be quiet. IMO, saying "you need to shut your trap" isn't rude and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I simply would have told my son that he shouldn't have been speaking out of turn and that when he can't follow the rules of the classroom, the teacher will reprimand him. Embarrassment in front of others is the logical consequence of that. No problem here whatsoever. I don't think an apology on the teacher's part was required and I wouldn't have expected it. I would have made my son apologize however, as he was the guilty party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 It was a rude way of speaking. However, it doesn't push my buttons like another co op teacher thread which shall not be mentioned.:tongue_smilie: In our co op, a kid would have been sent to sit with mom in this situation. That seems like a preferable way to handle it and would have probably made an impact on the entire class if the teacher had said, "Johnny, since you are not able to follow my direction or the class rules, you must now go sit with your mother." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enough Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 If she had said it in a joking manner, I would be okay with it- a friend of mine teaches my son in Sunday School and uses a humorous tone and language like this with the kids- but from how you're describing it it does sound disrespectful and, more importantly, that she obviously doesn't have good classroom discipline if she gives multiple warnings and then blows her top with inappropriate language. If she had sent the child out of the room at the first infraction, THAT would have shown how serious she was about the rule without having to resort to disrespectful language. And in my book, a child being disrespectful does NOT give an adult free license to be disrespectful. :confused: Not only is that hypocritical, but it also defeats the whole purpose of discipline (teaching a child the right way to act). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I think it can be both inappropriate, and not a huge deal. Teachers aren't perfect. We make mistakes. Considering the circumstances, this was not a huge one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmulcahy Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 :iagree:It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. A loud child who won't be quiet after several requests needs something done to get his attention. That's what she did, and apparently it worked. It's not fair to the whole class when one child is disobedient and constantly interrupting the lesson. And honestly, the teacher doesn't have all day to teach. It sounds like she had asked him several times to be quiet. IMO, saying "you need to shut your trap" isn't rude and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I simply would have told my son that he shouldn't have been speaking out of turn and that when he can't follow the rules of the classroom, the teacher will reprimand him. Embarrassment in front of others is the logical consequence of that. No problem here whatsoever. I don't think an apology on the teacher's part was required and I wouldn't have expected it. I would have made my son apologize however, as he was the guilty party. :iagree: 100% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 :iagree:It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. A loud child who won't be quiet after several requests needs something done to get his attention. That's what she did, and apparently it worked. It's not fair to the whole class when one child is disobedient and constantly interrupting the lesson. And honestly, the teacher doesn't have all day to teach. It sounds like she had asked him several times to be quiet. IMO, saying "you need to shut your trap" isn't rude and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I simply would have told my son that he shouldn't have been speaking out of turn and that when he can't follow the rules of the classroom, the teacher will reprimand him. Embarrassment in front of others is the logical consequence of that. No problem here whatsoever. I don't think an apology on the teacher's part was required and I wouldn't have expected it. I would have made my son apologize however, as he was the guilty party. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 It sounds a little harsh, but I think the circumstances were trying. She'd already asked the kid several times to be quiet and was desperate for him to shut up. She accomplished her objective, and in the process stunned the entire class. That's not entirely bad. :) :iagree: It wouldn't have been on my radar. Actually, I would probably be one to say something like that. :001_smile: But if it brought the class to a point of listening, that's a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) Sounds like nothing to me. Those words have lost their meanings around here, and truly mean just the same as " please be quiet" Now, had she said "shut the F* up", it would have been different. But 'shut your trap' is nothing. :iagree: I know people who feel like "shut up" is just about on the level of cussing, but there are others for whom it means exactly the same thing as "be quiet." And she didn't say "shut up." She said, "You need to shut your trap mister." It sounds somewhat humorous to me. But even if it wasn't said in humor, I wouldn't have a problem with that, especially to a kid as old as 11. I think since it bothered you, it was right for you to tell her that, but I wouldn't have expected her to apologize if she didn't think it was wrong--and not thinking it was wrong is a very legitimate way to think about it, imo. Now that she knows you feel that way, I wouldn't expect her to use it again. Edited September 17, 2011 by Laurie4b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Would not even be on my radar as inappropriate. Completely agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 At 11, I would be fine with it if it was a quick snap. Screaming, constant repetition, going on and on about the infraction, no, but a quick, honest bark, I'd be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I can't decide. It actually sounds very much like something I would say to my girls (that's just how we roll), but if I said it, it would probably be in a half joking kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 How would you feel if a co op teacher said, "You just need to shut your trap, mister" to your 11yo son when he was being overly enthusiastic and talking way too much and way too loud during an 8am science class at a Christian co op? Inappropriate always? Just another way to say, "be quiet"? I had mixed feelings. We don't say "shut up" at all. We say "be quiet" in various shades of annoyance, including yelling! We use virtually no profanity. My friend had been having a bad morning. She is an amazing teacher. She has a very high tolerance for noise (compared to me). This woman is also a pillar of the co op; works nonstop to make it happen. And I totally appreciate her. My son felt embarrassed and my daughter (and another 11yo boy - he was in my car on the way home) were also in the class and they said the whole class got quiet and was upset/surprised that she said "those words". The second adult in the class was gone to grab a supply for the teacher. I prayed and felt awful about calling my (new) friend on it, but felt I had to because I don't think those words should ever be said in a co op setting unless they are followed by "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I think they are a bad example to the kids and nothing we want to model. I wasn't overly upset because I know this woman's heart; her commitment to the kids and she is a great lady. My son and I talked it over very well and I helped him see that she was stressed, he had disregarded her warnings and she didn't "mean" anything other than "be quiet". I helped him see her perspective and also recognize how his behavior was wrong. We talked it over, I kept him on the phone and we called her. My son started by apologizing for his talking, not obeying. (I had hoped that would prompt and apology but it did not. She was gracious and forgiving and affirmed her affection for my son, his smarts, etc.) So I had my son go ahead and explain how he felt when she said the "shut...trap" phrase to him. He used words like "I felt it was rude and I felt disrespected." She was gracious and seemed to understand that it was a bad choice or words in a co op class setting. But she didn't offer that perspective until we talked a little more. But I've heard her talk like that before in an adult relating-a-story context - so I am wondering if she thinks saying those words to a kid in co op is no big deal? I was very proud of my 11yo son. He was scared to call but our pre-talk and prayer together and my insistence that (as much as possible, I would help him) he needed to handle it since it happened to him and he was the one upset and I supported him and agreed with him. (When I started to suggest that he call her with me on the phone too, I was kind of feeling him out to see if he could handle it. If he had been totally unable (or completely reluctant - he was not), I would have stepped in.) He did very well. What do you think? Like me, totally inappropriate? Or is it, "just another way to say 'be quiet'? Lisaj mom to 5 She didn't say "shut up". She said "shut your trap", which to me, sounds less harsh. In any event, it would not have been a big deal to me. If my son had ignored previous warnings, I'd expect him to be called on it in some way, including the use of "shut your trap". What else is she supposed to do, when she has already asked your son to be quiet and he didn't listen?:confused: I would not have called the teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Would not even be on my radar as inappropriate. Ditto. I am a super-prude compared to most here, as assessed by threads on cursing over the years, but I think this was perfectly fine. Not because she's a co-op teacher, not because children's feelings aren't important, but because I don't think the phrase IS akin to "Shut up." Honestly, I would have been much more concerned about my son ignoring numerous requests to be quiet. I would spend some time working out a discipline plan (sending you son to you so that you can assign lost privileges, etc.) with her so that the class doesn't have to be interrupted again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I wouldn't get worked up about it. He obviously had been told and needed to be quiet. I would be thankful that she was gracious to you and your son when you called her on his misbehavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I know someone who says, "shut your pie-hole" and it freaks me out! I HATE it, I tried to look up what it "means"... it's such a cultural thing, as to what's ok to say. I think that "Quiet Mouths, Listening Ears" would have been nicer, but..... so would listening when the teacher is speaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 To me "shut your trap" is the same as saying "shut your mouth" which is not as rude as "shut up". I think that if she tried repeatedly to have an 11 year old to be quiet, then it was appropriate to escalate it in some way so that the rest of the class wouldn't suffer because of one disruptive kid. Some times kids need to be shocked a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I know someone who says, "shut your pie-hole" and it freaks me out! I HATE it, I tried to look up what it "means"... it's such a cultural thing, as to what's ok to say. I think that "Quiet Mouths, Listening Ears" would have been nicer, but..... so would listening when the teacher is speaking. My students (age 11+) would feel patronized and made to feel like *children* with the bold. "What you need to do is shut your trap" would be more developmentally appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 In that situation, I would be much more concerned about my son's behavior than the teacher's. If my son was so disruptive that my wonderful, hardworking, talented, pillar of a friend had to say something a little sharp to gain control of her class, I would be all over his butt like white on rice. I wouldn't think twice about her use of that phrase. Yes, it has the tiniest edge to it, but it doesn't sound like it was anything he didn't earn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 :iagree:It wouldn't have bothered me one bit. A loud child who won't be quiet after several requests needs something done to get his attention. That's what she did, and apparently it worked. It's not fair to the whole class when one child is disobedient and constantly interrupting the lesson. And honestly, the teacher doesn't have all day to teach. It sounds like she had asked him several times to be quiet. IMO, saying "you need to shut your trap" isn't rude and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I simply would have told my son that he shouldn't have been speaking out of turn and that when he can't follow the rules of the classroom, the teacher will reprimand him. Embarrassment in front of others is the logical consequence of that. No problem here whatsoever. I don't think an apology on the teacher's part was required and I wouldn't have expected it. I would have made my son apologize however, as he was the guilty party. :iagree: In my opinion, she should have sent him out of class rather than snap at him, but it sounds as if he had really pushed her buttons. I appreciate a teacher who will call a child out on disruptive behavior. It's part of the job, in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 At middle school level there is often a more irreverent humor and camaraderie, not only between kids but often between the teacher and his/her class. Not an inappropriate kind of humor or camaraderie but more free and easy. Telling him to "shut his trap" wouldn't cause me to even blink. And having my child cautioned in such a way would cause me to spend a lot more time calling him on his own inappropriate behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 In that situation, I would be much more concerned about my son's behavior than the teacher's. If my son was so disruptive that my wonderful, hardworking, talented, pillar of a friend had to say something a little sharp to gain control of her class, I would be all over his butt like white on rice. I wouldn't think twice about her use of that phrase. Yes, it has the tiniest edge to it, but it doesn't sound like it was anything he didn't earn. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 My students (age 11+) would feel patronized and made to feel like *children* with the bold. "What you need to do is shut your trap" would be more developmentally appropriate. Yup. I think my daughter would have preferred the ruder approach to that. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I would have chosen different words in a co-op setting, but I wouldn't have called her out on this. If your son had listened the first time or two that she said "please be quiet" she wouldn't have resorted to harsher language. I'd forget about it and see how the class turns out. She may have set a discipline standard on Day 1 that benefits the entire class. It can be HARD to teach a co-op class. Some homeschooling parents want to micro-manage every decision leaving the instructor feeling pecked to death and wondering why people take co-op classes to begin with. You have to let go and let someone do it their way, or teach it yourself. Honestly, I think placing a phone call to fish for an apology was ruder than saying "Shut yer trap." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Truthfully, I would have been so mad at my son that he was asked more than once to be quiet that I wouldn't have cared what the teacher said. We do not use shut up in our house. (I am not naive enough to believe that my children have not said it to each other, though.) My son has Add/ADHD. You better believe, at 11, he is still responsible for controlling his mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Jo Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 In that situation, I would be much more concerned about my son's behavior than the teacher's. If my son was so disruptive that my wonderful, hardworking, talented, pillar of a friend had to say something a little sharp to gain control of her class, I would be all over his butt like white on rice. I wouldn't think twice about her use of that phrase. Yes, it has the tiniest edge to it, but it doesn't sound like it was anything he didn't earn. :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: I would be more concerned about my son's lack of respect for the teacher that caused her to come to that point. I would also expect my son to grow a thicker skin. He will have to deal with all types of people in the world. Sometimes people say things to you that hurt your feelings. It would be a point of inner-reflection for us. A key phrase around our home is "life is tough, get a helmet." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sahm99 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I will never be a coop teacher!:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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