Those who grew up in large families...repeating the pattern?

[Ginevra]

I'm curious about this from a poll perspective, although anecdotally I think I know how it will turn out. I'm going to call 5+ kids a "large family" and 10+ kids a "super large family." If you grew up in one of either, did you and/or your sibs also have a large or super large family? Are children who grow up in large or super large families more likely or less likely to have a large or super large family themselves?

 

Poll to follow.

[LibraryLover]

I'm an other. My dh is from a family of 6 sibs. One of his sibs has 3 children, the rest 2 or 1. We have 4, my brother has 0 and will never have a bio (he does have children in his life), one sister has two (and they are 100% grown up, she is done. My other sister has a one and only, and that is that.

 

I am the only one who has the same number of children as my parents, but I didn't birth all of them.

 

None of my siblngs were ever keen on the big family thing (although they are *excellent* parents). I've always wanted a large family, even when I had only one sibling. lol I decided this long before my own parents were done. lol

Edited June 5, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Impish]

Where I grew up, my parents having 4 kids was considered HUGE. *eye roll*

 

Currently, I have 4.

My elder brother has 2.

Younger bro just had his first.

Youngest bro's first is just over a year.

 

I'm willing to bet that at least youngest isn't done.

[YLVD]

Well, I'm cheating because I was not raised in a large family. It was just myself and my half-sister. I have an only child by choice myself.

 

But, my mom is one of 12 children! She is number eight.

 

None of the 12 kids had more than two kids. So, they did not repeat the pattern.

[kamom]

I have to say other because I grew up in a large family, almost super large:001_smile: and so far only one brother has a large family, 7 children. BUT most are still having kids or just starting. A few are not married yet, so it remains to be seen. I say several will have large families.

 

We would if we could!

 

My parents both grew up in large families, on Mom's side most had large families, on Dad's side most didn't. That's interesting.

Edited June 5, 2011 by kamom
more info

[elegantlion]

My dh is the middle of 5, we have one by choice. One brother has no children, the others have 2 or 3 children.

 

My mom was one of eight and would have had more than two, but had too many miscarriages, I'm the baby of two.

[Matryoshka]

I did not grow up in a large family, but my aunt has 12 kids.

 

One of her kids has 10 children, another 9. Most of the others have more "regular-sized" families with 2 to 4 kids. Three never married.

[blondeviolin]

I chose other only because not all of my large family is done having kids. I am the fifth of six. Currently my oldest sister has 10 (and I don't think they are necessarily done), oldest brother has five. Other brother has three (maybe one more for them?), my older sister has three (also maybe one more, though I know she would love more than that, but situations probably will dictate they stop), we have four (not done either) and my little sister hasn't even started yet!

 

I'd say, by these poll standards, half to two-thirds of my siblings and I will have a large+ family. Though, if we counted four as large, then all or mostly all of us would qualify. :D

[elise1mds]

I didn't vote, but I wanted to share. I come from a blend of super large family and tiny family. My dad is one of 12; my mom is one of 2! My parents only ever had my sister and I, which - if I'm painfully honest - was one more child than my dad ever wanted. My mom's brother never had children. The vast majority of my dad's siblings have two children, though there are a couple of them who have four and one who only has one child. None of them have large families by this poll's standards.

[Amira]

I grew up in a family of five (although that wasn't large by any means where I grew up; 5-6 kids was average) and none of us have more than four children. Out of the many, many people I know who grew up in families of 8-12 children, only a small number have 6 or more children, and I don't believe I know anyone with ten or more children.

 

I do come from a culture/religion (Utah Mormon) that is more likely to have large families, but very few are having even as many as five right now. However, I do think that the families who are having 5-8 children are more likely to have at least one parent who came from a large family. Not always of course, but I do think that growing up in a large family often results in at least one or two kids who have lots of children.

[SonshineLearner]

My mom had two, and I had two... and if it wasn't for our situation.. I'd have more if I could have... (my husband had 2, so I have 2 steps)

[Ginevra]

In my own background, dh is one of six and I am one of five. None of his sibs have more than 4 kids; one sib has none (presumably by choice). In my family, one sister has 5, I have 3 (though I wish it were more). One sister had no children and died at 42. One has no children and no likely prospects; she is 34. The youngest has 2 foster children, but does not appear to be aiming for a large family.

[Veritaserum]

I grew up in a family of six kids. My sister and I have five each. Two brothers have two kids each. One brother is disabled and will never have kids. The youngest brother is not married and has no kids. The wife of one of the brothers with two kids is 7th of 9 kids and does not want more than three of her own.

 

One generation up, both my parents come from families with 7 kids. In my dad's family, he and one sister had large families (6 and 7 kids). In my mom's family, three of the siblings had 5 or more kids.

[JudoMom]

My dh is the youngest of 5 (his siblings are all between 9 & 20 years older than he is). We have 5; his siblings have 1, 3, 2, & 1 child(ren).

 

I'm one of 2. My brother has 2 boys.

[Meriwether]

I responded other. I only have two siblings. But all 4 of my grandparents had between 8-14 kids in their families of origin. My mom was one of ten. My dad only had two siblings but on one side he had 97 cousins. So I have a large extended family. I only have four kids. I will have more if my Dh will agree. I love large families. My sis has five and would like five more. I firmly believe we want lots of kids in part because we've seen that example.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My parents, who are in their 80's and definitely were born before birth control, were in families of 12 and 6 respectively. My mom had her children before birth control was wide spread esp. overseas where we were born and raised. I come from a family of 5 children. Of the five children, two have 4 children and three have 2 children - so none have a large family according to your poll. Our generation is the first one with birth control in my family.

Edited June 5, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle

[mycalling]

We have a large family (his 2, our 7 and not finished) but neither of us come from large families. We hope our children want large families.

 

My mil is one of 9 and only one sibling had as many as 4, the rest fewer. No one in my line had a lot. I'm a real odd-ball.:D

[Plucky]

I grew up in a very liberal, pc home with two kids and many divorces. I have 4 kids and am still married to their dad after 20 years.

[kokotg]

I didn't answer the poll. My Dad had seven kids, but split over 3 marriages, so I don't think I really qualify (I only lived full time with one brother most of the time). I have 3, FWIW. My older brother had 3, and so far we're the only ones who've had kids, but the others are all younger.

 

But I can throw my mom and my mother-in-law in there. My mom's mom had 8 kids, and my mom just had 2. She says it was really fun being a kid in such a big family, but it didn't make her want to be a parent in one. None of my grandmother's kids has more than 3 kids (4 have 2, one has 3, and the 3 youngest had no kids).

 

DH's mom's family is interesting. There were seven in her family, and only she and her older sister (they're the two oldest) had kids (or even got married) at all. They each had 2.

[JaniceO]

I was one of 5 kids. I have 4 kids and don't plan on having any more (sometimes I think I'd like more, but we are done :001_unsure:). My older sister has 2 kids and none of my other siblings have any (one is mentally handicapped and can't have any children; my brothers don't have stable jobs and aren't married and as far as the rest of us know, they don't have any kids, lol).

 

DH is one of 3 boys. His older brother is mentally handicapped and won't be having children. His younger brother has 2 biological children. He just got divorced and would like to have more, but do to his previous wife's hard pregnancies, he made it so he can't have any more.

[Audrey]

I'm curious about this from a poll perspective, although anecdotally I think I know how it will turn out. I'm going to call 5+ kids a "large family" and 10+ kids a "super large family." If you grew up in one of either, did you and/or your sibs also have a large or super large family? Are children who grow up in large or super large families more likely or less likely to have a large or super large family themselves?

 

Poll to follow.

 

I didn't vote, but my dh is #6 of 7 and none of them have more than 3 kids. Actually, only one of them has 3 kids. 3 have 2 kids, and 3 have one kid.

[Aelwydd]

I voted "Other." My father was 1 of 5 kids, and he had us 3 girls. One of his siblings had 4 kids. One other sibling had 3, another sibling had 2 kids, and the fourth sibling had none.

 

Of myself and my two sisters, I have my one and only; one sister has 2 and is done; and the other sister just married, and is not sure if she wants kids at all.

 

My mom, who was 1 of 3 girls, also shows the same trend in her family. Fewer kids among the siblings.

[Hannah C.]

Voted other. :D I grew up in what was then a large family (I was the oldest of 8 when I graduated from high school). So far, I'm the only one who's had any kids, and I'm also the only married one.

 

I do not want as many kids as my parents had. However, I think I want more than the "typical" 2 kid family, too. My "top ideal" family size would be 5 kids. :) Who knows what'll happen, though...

[Mynyel]

It depends on your definition of large. Growing up I didn't consider my family large. I had three siblings (all sisters) and my parents.

 

I have three kids now. One of my sisters has two and one on the way :). The twin to that one has 1 child and my youngest sister has 2.

 

So there you have it :) I voted other.

[dangermom]

There were 5 kids in my family. I'm the oldest and have 2, but I meant to have more. God thought otherwise. My youngest brother has 3 and may be done because of his wife's health, but I don't know--they might not know either right now. Middle-bro has 2 and is done, and the other 2 siblings are unlikely to ever have children (older bro's wife does not want, and youngest sis probably won't get married, much less have kids).

[missmoe]

I grew up in a family of five. I am the only one with a large family, but my youngest brother has just started a family so who knows how many kids he will have. My oldest brother has three kids. My next oldest brother and wife have dealt with fertility problems, so they have adopted two kids, so again who knows how many they would have had if it was possible to have more. They would love to adopt more, but my SIL is handicapped and most likely will not be able to adopt more kids. My last brother ended marrying someone quite a bit older than him who has already had a family.

 

Wow! Now you know way too much about my family!;)

Edited June 5, 2011 by missmoe

[tricia]

I hit the other bottom because large and super large can mean different things to different people. Most of my siblings-6, have 4 kids and they call their families large. I have 12 kids and I call my family large but everyone else calls it super large. That said, I doubled the size family I grew up in!!:001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

The OP defined what she meant by large and super large.

[cindergretta]

My grandmother was the oldest of 13 children. She had 3. My dad was the oldest of those 3 and he had 2.

 

My mother was one of 7, 5 of whom survived past infancy. She had 2, one sister had 2, the other sister had none. Both brothers had 5 each.

 

On the other side, my sister and I were the only 2 and we were 11 months apart. She has four and I have 6...

[Julie Smith]

My Mom is 9 of 10. (It sounds so much like a borg name). Of those 10 kids all got married. One of them had 4 kids (3 girls then the hoped for boy) the rest had 2 or 3.

 

My Grandmother 'choose' to have 10 kids due to lack of birth control. She did get pregnant with #11 but the doctor knew she couldn't handle any more and gave her a abortion and tied her tubes.

 

My Mom grew up very poor. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes they went without a meal. She still remembers the special treat of getting 2 HOTDOGS for dinner and feeling lucky.

[Mimm]

I grew up in a very large family and have two kids with no plans for another. My sister has one child with no desire for another for many years. None of my other siblings has any children but none of them has any desire at all to have a large family if or when they do have children.

[Tap]

I am the baby of 9. My parents were both married once before and then they got together and had me.

 

My mother had 5

My father had 3

 

I was raised with my mother's children, as one of 5-6. My father's children were raised together.

 

My sibs have:

 

 

1. 1 kid

2. 0

3. 1 kid

4. 2 kids

5. 2 kids

6. deceased

7. 2 kids

8. 2 kids

me #9. 2 kids planned-plus 1 (my great niece who we are raising).

 

 

 

ETA: my mother was always very open with the fact that she had all of due to lack of birth control, rather than wanting a large family. She married at 16 to get out of an abusive household, and had given birth to 5 kids in 6 years. I was the only 'planned' pregnancy as far as I know.

Edited June 5, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap

[Carrie12345]

I didn't want to be left out. :D

 

I grew up as the oldest of 3. My parents are each one of three. One of my aunts has three. Most of my GREAT-aunts have 3. It seems to be the magic number.

 

I figured I'd have 3. A piece of me wanted a super large family. I have 5, and I'm definitely not birthing any more.

 

One of my sisters is determined to stick with just her 1.

My other sister is thinking 2 or 3.

[Sasharowan]

Dh is one of 12. I have no idea how many the oldest 3 had, but the others had 5, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 4(that's us), 0, and 2. I am one of 2 and my sis is pg with her first now.

[twoxcell]

Well my parents have 4 kids and three of us have 4 kids, one has 2. My in-laws also have 4 kids.

[SABE]

My husband grew up in a family of 4 before divorce, 9 after. He has the most children of any of his siblings or step-siblings. We have 4 children, and all the others have 1-2.

 

I'm the only child of 2 only children. I've always said that dh and I averaged our pasts when we created our own family!

 

All 4 of my grandparents grew up in families with 6-9 kids each. I don't think any of those kids ended up having more than 2 children of their own.

[Melissa in Australia]

I grew up in a supper large family, 8 children.

 

Both my sister and I have 5 children

one brother got fixed because his wife couldn't have children for medical reasons ( she since left him)

one brother has 2 step children

other sister has 1 ( newborn)

3 other brothers are in their early twenties, they haven't started having a family yet.

[Wabi Sabi]

My grandmother was one of 13 children. She went on to have 7 children, one of whom is my mother. My mother had 8 children.

 

I'm the oldest of the 8 and we are absolutely done with our 2 kids. Many of my younger siblings have not started a family yet or they're not done having kids yet, but so far none of us have more than 2. I'd honestly be very shocked if any of us end up with more than 2-3 children.

[Carrie12345]

Oh, on super-large families: Dh's aunt has a combined family of 12 kids. She birthed 8, I think. One of those kids has a combined family of 6 kids, and another has 4 or 5. The rest seem to be 0-2.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

There are 7 of us and none of us have more than 3 kids--one sister has 2 natural born kids and her husband brought 2 in from a previous marriage....

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I answered the poll wrong. I grew up in a family of 5 full siblings and 2 half siblings. One of us has 1 kid, two of us have 2 kids, and one has 3 kids. 3 of us have 0 kids.

[Remudamom]

Family of five, we have five, brothers have four and three, sisters both have two.

[Ginevra]

I hit the other bottom because large and super large can mean different things to different people. Most of my siblings-6, have 4 kids and they call their families large. I have 12 kids and I call my family large but everyone else calls it super large. That said, I doubled the size family I grew up in!!:001_smile:

 

That's why I defined my terms in the OP. :001_smile:

 

For everyone, I know 4 is considered large to most people, but I intentionally called 5+ "large" because 4 is still somewhat mainstream-large. Not many people have 5 or more unless they particularly intend to have a large family or they are accident-prone. :D

[Ginevra]

I'm 5 of 9 (raised Catholic)

Of the 8 that are married, all are done having kids and I have the most - 3

My youngest brother isn't married yet, but I doubt he'll have more than 2.

I grew up around a lot of large families, and not many that I know of have more than 3 kids.

 

This has been my general observation, and my (unscientific) poll seems to bear that out. It's curious to me that children from large or super large families seem most unlikely to have large families themselves. Wonder what will happen to the Duggars, but by the time Josie (possibly) has all the children she will have, the oldest grandkids will be....well, old and Michelle and Jim Bob will probably be on the Other Side. ;)

[MamaSheep]

There were seven kids in our family growing up. My older brother has 4. I have 2 but would have more if I could. Next sister is still single (not necessarily by choice, just hasn't found Mr. Right) and has no kids. Youngest sister has 5 and has her hands full with some highly adventuresome twin toddlers at the moment. Next brother and his wife just had #3, brother after that is expecting #4, youngest brother has 2 littles. I get the impression the three younger brothers are just getting started.

[kokotg]

This has been my general observation, and my (unscientific) poll seems to bear that out. It's curious to me that children from large or super large families seem most unlikely to have large families themselves. Wonder what will happen to the Duggars, but by the time Josie (possibly) has all the children she will have, the oldest grandkids will be....well, old and Michelle and Jim Bob will probably be on the Other Side. ;)

 

That's been my observation, too....though I wonder how much of it is generational. Both my grandmother and DH's grandmother were Catholics raising kids in the 40's and 50's in heavily Catholic areas; for them, having a small family would have been the choice that was bucking convention (and, of course, they had fewer options for limiting family size than we have now).

[caitlinsmom]

I am the oldest of 8 and have 4 kids. My sister has 3. The rest of my siblings are just starting their married lives so only time will tell.

 

I don't imagine any of the other siblings will have more than 2 or 3 just because of their lifestyle preferances.

 

My parents didn't want 8 kids but my mom loves babies so once a child hit 2 and she lost interest she was ready for another. 2 of my siblings are only 1/2 from my dad.

[Murphy101]

There is so much that factors into this that has nothing to to with the size family you come from.

 

I am about to have 10, but I met my dh young. It I had married him at say 25, that alone would mean I would have four less children. Of those who have smaller families, almost all of them married much later and that automatically means a drastically reduced family size.

 

My having a large family had absolutely nothing to do with my parents. Dh (an only) would say the same.

 

Well, I think when we were dating/just married we were in agreement we wanted 2 or 3. :lol: We never planned nor imagined having 10.

[mommaduck]

I don't know how you define "grow up in". I'm the oldest of nine (second oldest if you toss in a step sister). I grew up with one of my brothers, had an aunt and a cousin live with us for several years, and then had another brother come into the family when I hit highschool. But the rest of the siblings were raised separately from me.

 

Out of all of us:

 

Stepsister 2

Me 8

Sister 3

Sister 2

Brother None yet (and may choose not to for a genetic reason on his dad's side)

Brother 1

Sister None yet (newlywed)

Sister None yet

Brother 1

Brother None (and may never have any as he is disabled due to a genetic reason on his dad's side...he's full brother to the one mention above)

 

 

On the other hand...DH is one of two plus a stepsister. Stepsister passed away having no children. DH and I have eight children and BIL and his wife have eight children.

[Colleen in SEVA]

I voted "I grew up in a super large family and 4 or fewer of us have large families," but it isn't that simple. There are 10 siblings, but from 6 different women (4 are my dad's, 6 are my step-dad's). Both of my parents are from families of 8, but out of all 146 relatives (from my grandparents down), nobody else has had more than 3 kids.

 

Everyone thinks we are crazy for having 5 boys. :D

 

Edited to add: I just re-read this, and it sort of sounds like my dads had plural wives and they did not... just plural divorces. ;)

Edited June 5, 2011 by Colleen in SEVA