Do you talk to your siblings?

[gingersmom]

I amthisclose to never talking to my younger brother again.

 

I gave up calling him on the phone years ago because our conversation always ended in arguments.

 

Talking to him (he is 41) is like talking to a 3 year old.

 

So we occasionally email and recently we have been texting each other.

 

He managed to start an argument with me via text message.

 

I just deleted him as a contact on my phone and sent his emails to the spam folder.

 

Even my mother agreed with me this time. So it must be really bad!

[Remudamom]

Yes I do, and mine all have the good sense to agree with everything I say. I'd love to hear what they say when I hang up though!

 

No really, all five of us get along well, if we don't agree on something, we don't talk about it. Or we tell whoever we don't agree with that they are an idiot, smile, and move on. It works for us.

[smrtmama]

I think I'm very lucky, in that my younger brother and I always had a great relationship growing up. We don't talk as often as I'd like to now, because we're both pretty busy, but we remain on great terms. I am often reminded of how truly blessed I am to have him.

[unsinkable]

Yes.

 

I have one brother and our parents died when we were teenagers. We get along but we have our arguments. We mostly just move on from them & pretend they didn't happen.

 

He lives in Omaha & I live in Buffalo so we only see each other once or twice a year. Life is too short to waste on arguing when, in the end, I love him so very much.

[5KidzRUs]

I don't talk to my two brothers as their lifestyles could put my family at risk.

That decision breaks my heart. I miss them so much and often think about how sweet they were when they were little.

[Mommyof4ks]

Yes, I talk with my sister several times a week. She lived with us for a while and now she lives 15 minutes from us, so we see each other a good bit.

[Daisy]

I communicate with family via Facebook. That's about it. We talk on the phone maybe 3 times a year. We live thousands of miles away from each other. I have a brother in AL and a sister in NJ and I'm in CA. Kinda makes it difficult.

 

So I'd say we are aware of each other's lives but show very little interest in actually interacting with each other.

 

Last I saw my brother and parents was 4 years ago. It's been closer to 7 since I saw my sister.

 

I don't think we have a problem with each other. We just don't have much in common.

[mom to 3 boys & 1 girl]

My sister is my best friend. She lives far away now, but we talk on the phone all the time. She somehow managed to be here every time I delivered one of my babies! She has also come home for everyone of my children's birthdays!

 

My brother and I are close too, though I do wish we talked more often. His wife is going to give birth to his first child in a few months. I'm hoping that the baby will make us all even closer. I'm so excited to finally be an Aunt!

 

OP - I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time with your brother. :grouphug:

[Rosie_0801]

if we don't agree on something, we don't talk about it. Or we tell whoever we don't agree with that they are an idiot, smile, and move on. It works for us.

 

My brother and I are best buddies. We get along well enough with our sister, though she annoys us a fair bit. (And I annoy her a fair bit.) This particular problem has been greatly reduced by her moving to Kenya, however :D Basically, though, we operate much like Remudamom says above. If someone deserves a lecture, it gets delivered and everyone smiles and moves on. No carrying on like the rest of our relatives tend to do, because it is accepted that the person copping the lecture is under no obligation to pay any attention. If someone annoys us so much we don't want to talk to them for a while, we don't talk to them until we forget we were annoyed.

 

Rosie

[JoyfulMama]

I get along well with both of my brothers, but we don't live near eachother, and aren't involved in eachothers daily lives. We enjoy visiting one another, and do talk and email usually once a month or so.

My dh is very different with his siblings. He does not communicate with them unless required to - usually at his parents' house. They don't get along. I was really close with his sister, but things happen, and that will never be the same. I encourage my oldest to communicate with her via email, as they developed a very strong bond. We do communicate via facebook, but that's usually the extent of it. I do know that if I need something I can call her, and I have tried to be supportive to her. My dh and her dh are really not friendly, though, so it makes it tough. My dh and his brother do not speak unless they have to, as they have nothing in common. He did buy our house from us, though, and we thought that might open up some communication, but it didn't. My dh does not see that he will communicate with his siblings after his parents die. I think my MIL knows this, and this is why she has bent over backwards to insist they see eachother. I think our children will want that continued relationship, at least with dh's sister.

Trouble is, dh's parents have cut ties with two sets of relatives recently following the linking family member's death. Dh and I don't agree with this, and we keep in contact with them on our own, quietly. Actually, I communicate with dh's family more than dh does. He says that's why he married me. :001_huh:

[newbie]

Nope, all my relatives are very materialistic. So I stay far away.

[Remudamom]

Nope, all my relatives are very materialistic. So I stay far away.

 

Mine pretty much are too, but it doesn't intefere much with our relationship. They just lead different lives. Biiiig houses, country clubs, spend more than they (probably) have. But they'll still come to big sis occasionally for advice.

[gingersmom]

My brother was last at my house 8 years ago and not invited back.

 

My kids and myself were last at his apartment 10 years ago (my daughter was 3). She spilled a pencil cup and he flipped out. We were never invited back.

 

I have an older brother who while we are very very different people (since we were very young children), still manage to see each other 2-3 times a year and exchange several emails throughout the year.

 

I think the difference is we are both mature, rational adults.

 

I do think about my children. I don't want them to end up like me and my brother. I tell them all the time how important they are too each other. I can only hope that they will always stay close and be part of each others lives.

[tex-mex]

I envy those who are close with their siblings... it took years to accept the fact my 2 older sisters were not capable of this. Sort of like just being strangers. :crying:

[Happy]

Nope.

 

After both of our parents died it was clear that money was way more important to him than my family and I were. Very, very, very clear.

 

He is the most toxic person in my life because I want to love him and can't. His behavior hurt my (then) young and vunerable sons. That's pretty darn hard to forgive and forget.

[littlebug42]

I am very blessed to be extremely close to both my brother and my sister. We all live within 10 minutes of each other, all homeschool and our kids are all very close as well. Our Dad died in late August after a 3 month battle with leukemia and I couldn't imagine having to go through that without them. We were all in the room with him when he died. I am so blessed to have them.

[Karen in CO]

Going to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. My brother is coming here for Christmas. We don't have a lot in common, but we do have the fact that we are family. My brother helps me with my car, and I help him cook. My sister and I have sons the same age. We work hard to find things in common and work to not argue over our differences - except my brother is my favorite conservative and we argue all the time over politics - it is fun the way we do it. I want our kids to have "cousins". Our holidays are bigger with family. It is important to me to keep us together.

[TammyinTN]

No, I haven't spoken to her in 3 years...my parents caused a huge family problem and suddenly just a few weeks ago they want everyone to now get along. I'm continuing to hide out in Europe..thank you military;)

[dirty ethel rackham]

My siblings (3 brothers and 2 sisters) and I have warm, cordial relationships. However, I would not say that we are close. We keep things on the surface. I have learned to smile and nod when topics stray into areas where I don't agree. I used to be very close to my sisters until after I had kids. The differences in our parenting philosophies caused a cooling in the relationships. I hate to say it, but the closest we ever become is during my mom's health crises.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Of course I love each as a brother and sister. But beyond that we have varying degrees of closeness. It's kind of funny since I did not grow up with my brothers and sisters. I only saw them every 3 months when I was really small (the realities of them being at boarding school). Then the oldest two left the country when I was 7 and I didn't really reconnect with them until I was in college.

 

What we've done is to establish new friendships and relationship guidelines as adults. My eldest sister and I became friends when I was in my 20's and discovered that we have a lot in common. We talk on the phone pretty much once every week or two. My eldest brother and I also have a lot in common. But he's a guy and isn't so talkative so we talk on the phone every few months. My middle sister and I never really established an adult relationship. I give her a "duty call" once a year. My brother who is closest to me in age have some interests in common but not our faith. We talk every couple of weeks but we keep our conversation to what we have in common.

[Carrie12345]

My sisters and I go through cycles. I didn't speak to one sister for a couple of years (drug issues that eventually left me no choice but to cut ties until she was ready to get clean). My other sister and I aren't NOT talking right now, but things are strained and conversation is mostly limited to email. She's extremely... immature- the type that asks for big sister advice and then tells you you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

It drives my mother insane that none of us will pretend everything is okay when it isn't. "Family is family." Sure, but sometimes family members can be jerks, and that doesn't mean we have to cater to them!

 

FTR, dh has the same type of relationship with his sister.

[elegantlion]

Nope, I have one sister and we rarely talk. She is my facebook friend and oddly we've talked more there in the last two months than in the last few years.

 

She thinks she is smarter than me, always has, and we clash. I wish we had a closer relationship but she's judgmental and my biggest memory from childhood is her kicking me in the shins. :glare:

 

Fortunately I have a great relationship with my mom, that sort of makes up for it.

[PinkTulip]

Yes, I talk with all of my siblings at least once a week. One lives in the same city as I do, but one is in the mid-west and one lives in another country. We are very close in age, so were always close to each other growing up, but I think we have better relationships now as adults than we did as children.

 

Our father died 12 years ago, so that really drew us together. We were all in our early-mid 20s when that happened, so we were in the thick of marriages, new babies, finishing up graduate school etc. We have relied on each other a lot.

 

I also talk to my mom every day, as she lives alone, and has health problems. I want to make sure she is OK.

 

DH, on the other hand, talks with his only sibling (who lives 30 minutes away), only when I remind him that it's her birthday.

[LibraryLover]

I don't talk to my two brothers as their lifestyles could put my family at risk.

That decision breaks my heart. I miss them so much and often think about how sweet they were when they were little.

 

 

Are they gay?

[Jenny in Atl]

Yup, and we even have dinner together fairly often. All holidays and such. It's a pretty relaxed relationship I have with both my brothers.

[momtoboys]

Yes, I talk to all my siblings. . .

 

1. Brother--1.5 years younger. We aren't super close, but we used to be closer (growing up and in college). It's not that we have any problems. Just that he's married w/ a daughter, and we live a few hours away.

 

2. Sister--3 years younger. . Has cancer. . .We were really close until our little falling out. . I've apologized a bunch of times, and tried to keep in touch. I still call. I don't know when or if she'll completely forgive me. . .I can tell when I call that she's still mad. . things aren't the same.

 

3. The "other three" -- Brother 12 years younger, Sister 14 years younger, Brother 23 years younger (LOL. .plays w/ my son). . .Anyway, practically raised the one 12 years younger and 14 years younger, so completely different dynamic. Got married right after the youngest was born. But yeah, I still talk to them all. . .

[Sasharowan]

My sister and I are really close. We are nearly 5 yrs apart (I'm older) and it's just the 2 of us. She lives in NY and I'm in FL and also we're both live and let live type people.

[akmommy]

I have three older brother and I can't say I'm close to any of them, really. The oldest is seven years older than I am and we have never been really close. Growing up he was a bully and can still be. I doubt that I will ever really be able to trust him.

The middle brother is 5 years older than me and I would like to be closer to him, but we haven't lived in the same city since I was 7 or 8. He used to call every couple of months or so but hasn't in almost a year. I guess I should try to get a number for him and call him myself. His work schedule is kinda crazy though.

The youngest and I used to be pretty close and we used to see each other and talk almost everyday, but since he got married and moved away not so much. I miss him.

[Murphy101]

Nope. Youngest of 4 by 10 years.

 

I go years with no contact and when there is contact, I spend a week trying to cleans myself of the toxic residue.

 

For all intents and purposes I might as well be an only child and an orphan.

[Scarlett]

I have one brother who is very very different from me. We've had our rough times, but now we have a pretty good relationship. He had a total breakdown a few years back and I vowed to never again argue with him. I accept him as he is and though our relationship is limited for many reasons I love him and I know I can depend on him when the chips are down. He texts me a lot, we chat on FB and we meet at mom's several times a year. Even maybe ecery 6 weeks lately.

 

I have a half sister that just showed back up in my life a year ago---just before she turned 40 and when I was 43. We had only seen each other one time when I was 15---no contact since thanks mostly to her side of the family keeping us apart. We bonded instantly. We never forgot each other and when we got together this past Feb I felt like a part of me that had been missing was found.

[ChristusG]

I have a different relationship with my sisters. I'm 29....one of my sisters is 25 and the other is 16 (yes, we all have the same mom and dad LOL). We're all at different stages in life. I've been married since I was 19, have two kids, and I'm a stay at home mom. My 25 year old sister still lives at home with my parents, never married, no kids, is working and attending college. My 16 year old sister is still just a kid. So we're all at different stages in life. I'm closest to my 25 year old sister. In fact, we just went shopping today and took my 2 year old with us. She's a great aunt to my girls. We do not call and chat on the phone with each other very much due to the life differences. But I see her probably twice a week for a little bit (we go eat at my parents house every Thurs night) and we go shopping together often. They all (my two sisters and my parents) live in the same neighborhood as I do.

[DawnM]

I don't have siblings, but my DH does. They don't talk unless we are visiting the area and physically see each other. He has 4 siblings and three of them don't care for us.....we are the freaks who homeschool just for starters.

 

Dawn

[Denisemomof4]

yes, I talk to both my brother and sister. Well, I actually look out for my brother. He's mentally ill and we have a tiny family so he only has me and my sister, and an elderly aunt 1000 miles away.

 

My sister and I are close, but her husband limits her contact with people outside her family. At least that's what she said when they were going to divorce. I love her but she lives 2 hours away. She used to try to control me and overpower me when younger so we intentionally moved further away from her. We saw each other all the time when my mother lived here, now not so much. Of course life is too busy for both of us during the homeschool year. I homeschool, she has her kids involved in activities every day of the week, sometimes multiple things in a day. She can be very difficult but now that we don't have to agree on my mother's care (she was the medical POA and I was mom's caretaker) things are far easier. Once the estate is settled I doubt there will be reason to ever have issues. Fortunately she's got so much going on in her life (almost divorced recently but is rebuilding her marriage, just filed bankruptcy, may be losing their house, hubby may lose his job) that she no longer over analyzes everything I say and do so things are good. I also grew a backbone and no longer let her use me as a doormat. I like her better now.

[MamaT]

I have two sisters, 9 and 12 years older than I am. My middle sister is very different from my oldest sister and I, but we love her and both try to stay involved in her life. I know I could call her for anything and she would be there. I talk to her about once a month.

 

My mother wasn't very nurturning, so my oldest sister is really more like my mother. She and I are very close. If I ask my dh's opinion on something, he asks me if I have talked to my sister yet - he knows I'll go with whatever she says. I talk to her a couple of times a week and we go visit her twice a year (500 miles away). My middle sister lives in the same town, so I see her while I'm there but stay with my oldest sister.

[HRAAB]

Not anymore often than I can help.

 

I truly envy those of you who have close relationships with your siblings. I have only one sibling, and sometimes it's a matter of mental (mine) and family survival to avoid her. I so wish it were different.

[Tap]

I rarely talk to my 4 siblings (I have 8 sibs but I was raised with these 4). I saw them at a funeral last year and it was pleasant.

 

I have one sister that I talk to a few times a year.

 

I don't have any disputes with them, we just walk a different path in life. They pretty much do nothing, and complain about their lives. Any time I suggest doing something to change their situation, they insist they 'can't' due to various ridiculous excuses. They think that everything is impossible, they don't even try. It is how we were raised, so I know how hard it is to overcome, but I would have expected them to have done something with their lives by 40-50+yo. It makes me sad to talk to them, and just talking about regular happenings in our lives, makes me feel like I am bragging.

 

My mother says they all talk favorably of me, so it doesn't sound like I have been black listed, we just don't have a relationship.

[Krista in LA]

I'm the second youngest of 5 and I am only close to my younger brother. After my nephew's wedding a couple of weeks ago, I may never speak to my oldest sister again - she played so many games, including one that could have put several lives at risk. She really isn't the type of person that I would ever have anything to do with if she wasn't related to me anyway. My other sister had a tizzy fit over nothing several months ago and while I would talk to her if she would respond, I really have no intention of having a relationship with her in the future. My older brother is schizo so our talks are usually limited to happy birthday calls. There are times I wish I had great relationships with my sisters, but they are both so different from me that I don't really like them as people.

[MamaBearTeacher]

My younger sister and I used to have a close relationship or so I thought. I considered her the closest female in my life and we spent a lot of time together. When DS8 was a baby she was over practically every weekend. Then he got sick and developed special needs and I have only seen her once since. I guess she was just too overwhelmed by it and I guess she considered us a burden. She suddenly got very cold and said that she was busy with her own life. I called her and called her but then I had to focus all my energies on DS. After a few months she suddenly started dropping off gifts at my house every few months without coming in. I saw her 2 years ago at the store and she only made small talk and did not ask about DS. The past year I have been thinking a lot about her. I know I should not but it feels awful. I have never felt so abandoned by anyone. I don't understand it. She used to work with special needs kids when she was younger. We lead a very difficult life because of our sons' special needs and her treatment made it harder for me to reach out to others because of all people I expected her to be most understanding. Even after all these years it's hard for me to believe.

[Mrs Mungo]

I talk to 2 of my sisters almost daily and my youngest sister (who is more of an introvert) every couple of weeks.

[lulubelle]

I have one older sister and 3 older brothers that I barely speak to. I used to talk to my sister a few years ago once in awhile, but she was just so harsh toward me I just stopped calling her. My brothers just live in their own world and could care less. And, now that I am a Christian following homeschooling freak, I don't think that helps our communication flow.

[TXMomof4]

I talk to my sister at least 5 x week and my brother a little less often but I talk to his wife at least 5 x week. My brother managed to be here for the birth of my first 3 - he was in Iraq when my ds was born. We go on vacations together. I love them both very much and can't imagine life without them. I hope my kids grow up enjoy their siblings as much as I do.

[4kiddies]

Yes, I have one younger brother. I am 8 years older so for a long time we had nothing in common but now that he is in his late 20's and married things are better. In fact, he was the most supportive member of my family when I said we were homeschooling. I typically talk to him 2-3 times a week.

[LibraryLover]

tmi But it was all postive about my loving sisters and bro. :)

Edited November 23, 2009 by LibraryLover

[i.love.lucy]

No. I have one brother, 18 mo younger than me. We fell out of touch for a very long time after our father died. He was 17 and I was 19 and in college. It's very complicated, but he's a toxic and dangerous person and I would never want him around my kids. His ex-wife is still close with my mom (because my mom tries so hard to help her) and so I know his sons. None of us actually even know if he's alive. He was supposedly in rehab after serving time, but I don't know now. I feel like an only child.

 

It's very, very sad, and I hope to have that be quite different for my children.

[jenL]

I talk to my middle sister nearly daily. She and I are different, but we also have a lot in common. There are some issues we can't go near, but we've learned what they are and we avoid them. I only talk to my youngest sister in spurts. We've talked a few times this past week, but before that it was 2 months of not hearing from her. She's a pretty selfish person willing to include you in her life when she sees fit. I don't chase after her. When we're together it's fine though.

[Paula in PA]

I have 3 sisters, all older, only one of whom I am truly close to. She actually lives with us at this point, but we've been best friends since I was in my late teens. My oldest sister and I don't have much in common and rarely talk. My next oldest sister and I have too much in common, personality wise, to ever get along very well, though we do talk once or twice a month. It doesn't help that she continually treats me as though I'm still an inexperienced teenager, instead of a 42 yo wife and mother. :glare: My older and only brother died in 1997, but we were closest in age and were very close growing up. We weren't as close later, but still kept in close contact despite distance and changing lives. I miss his steadiness.

[caitlinsmom]

I talk with all my siblings. I am the "go to" person for advice in the family, which puts me in a really crappy spot a lot of the time. They are all young and immature, and even though they are asking for advice they really just want me to say I agree with them. Which I rarely do. I am known in the family as the dose of reality so they will get from me exactly what I think. This has in the past made it so I wont hear from one of them for a while but they always end up coming back. :)

 

I am the same way with my parents, who may be in their 50's but act more like 12yo. I expect people to be honest with me and so I am with them. I do get pretty upset with their choices a lot of times but they are family. Gotta love them even with their stupidity. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

I have five siblings.

 

Brother - 1 year younger. I talk with him or his dd every month or so. They live a very different lifestyle than we do. I enjoy our conversations, but we wouldn't be friends if we weren't related.

 

Brother - 2 years younger. He and I would be very close if he'd stop drinking. He's such a great guy. But, he keeps relapsing. I'm tired of being disappointed with him. So, I've chosen not to contact him very often. It's so sad. I really love and respect his wife though!

 

Sister - 8 years younger. She's my best friend and we talk daily.

 

Brother - 10 years younger. He's immature, not married, lives with my oldest brother. We talk every month or so. Talk a lot on Facebook chat.

 

Sister - 18 years younger. She just moved out of our parent's house and is living on her ownfor the first time. We talk more now! Maybe once/week or so.

 

Overall, we have a closeknit family!

[rwjx2khsmj]

Yes! I have four sisters and can't imagine going a week (two at most) with out talking to each of them. Sometimes the calls are short and sometimes they last for an hour or more.

 

I am so thankful and blessed to be related to four amazing, inspiring women. I'm doubly blessed to count them all as friends.

[Pippen]

My brother and I live four states away from each other but we talk on the phone about once a week. It's been this way most of our adult lives--ever since he was in the army and I was in college.

 

We probably get along better long distance. :)