Julie in CA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I'm very commited to homeschooling, and have been doing it for oh, about 13 years now. I'd better say it again, I'm very commited to homeschooling. BUT...:001_huh: Sometimes I dream just a bit of what I might be able to do if I *weren't* spending every waking moment supervising, pestering, nagging, teaching, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to send my kids to school. Public school is not an option in my area, private school would eat up 75% of our income, and I really do enjoy teaching my kids. Once in a while I dream wistful dreams about what I'd do with my time if I had 8 1/2 hours a day while my kids were gone at school. I pretend that I'd spend the first 3 hours making my home spotlessly clean all of the time. I'd spend the next hour immersing myself in Bible Study, I'd spend the next hour at exercise, I'd work in the yard for an hour, then I'd spend an hour or so creating a wonderfully healthy snack that my kids could eat when they came in the door, and a healthy but appealing dinner that would make happy scents in the air before dh arrived home after work. Is all of that a myth? Is it like hoping to see the mythical unicorn, you've heard that maybe it really does exist, but deep down you're sure it's not true? :D If you've ever been a sahm without kids, tell me, was it wonderful? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 You have not mentioned having the ladies over for lunch or better yet meeting up for lunch with dh. I would love to help in the school library, classroom, or tutoring reading in schools that need the help the most. Have lunch with the kiddo's. Join a running club or learn to play tennis. Attend a really good bible study maybe even precepts since I'd have the time to put into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheila in OK Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, *I've* never been a non-homeschooling sahm but my sister is. She seems to spend an awful lot of time at the schools--homeroom mom, PTO, that sort of thing. At least she used to; I think she has cut back this year. I know her house is much cleaner than mine, and she has more time for shopping/lunches out than I do. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 My sil (who homeschools) and I have a joke about moms who send their kids to school and then they ALWAYS say, "Oh, I'm busier than ever!" (Going to coffee with friends, etc...) And, yes, I know that having kids in school can make a person crazy running around to everything, but there are still those six hours a day with no one around!! So, we comfort ourselves by saying, "I'm busier than ever" whenever we have a couple hours to ourselves. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I wonder too, but I imagine I'd end up going back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, up until this year, I WAS one of those moms. ;) But I still didn't manage to have a spotless house. It seemed like I was running to the school, running everyone's errands, etc. :auto: I've actually found my life to be a bit calmer now that my kids are my priority during the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, *I've* never been a non-homeschooling sahm but my sister is. She seems to spend an awful lot of time at the schools--homeroom mom, PTO, that sort of thing. At least she used to; I think she has cut back this year. I know her house is much cleaner than mine, and she has more time for shopping/lunches out than I do. :) I was a sahm while mine where in preschool, kindergarten and second grade. I was the class mom for my second grader and was an assistant teacher at my youngest's pre-school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 (edited) I was a SAHM when ds was in prek and K (and before that). I did more things with the school and volunteered with church. I decorated the house, had lunch with friends, and ran errands during the day. ETA: It was either homeschool or me go back to work to pay for private school. Didn't want to go back to work, I'd make a lousy employee now. ;) Edited January 12, 2009 by elegantlion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I spent ONE day where both kids were in school and DH was working and I didn't have to work or go to school. Let me tell ya.... it's not all it's cracked up to be. I was bored. I missed the kids. I was lonely. Sure I got the house clean, cooked, read a bit, took a nap but really it got old real quick. Definitely not for me. Although sometimes I wish I could have the peace and quiet that comes with sending the kids to school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I have several friends that are. One is a sub for her kids school, she shops and cleans the house (BIG house). Another one spends a lot of time working out, she decided to do triathlons once her kids where in school full time, she also subs and another friend decided to go to Law school and just passed the Bar in November. Lastly, one is like the town know it all, she knows everything about everyone and drives all of us crazy, it's nice to have her because we ALWAYS know what going on:lol: I am not quite sure if she does anything else but, she ALWAYS looks busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 My husband teased me with this, before we actually "got pregnant" with our son. My daughter was just on her way to kindergarten, and he'd say, "In a year you could be at home, watching tv during the day, eating by yourself, enjoy lounging." Then he did it again when I wanted to homeschool, "You could be at home by yourself, enjoy naps, eating lunch out...." And sometimes I look at my kids when they're being naughty and think, "You could be at school, having a teacher deal with you....and I could be eating dessert after a nice lunch." But, somehow the next kick or punch from one of them to the other....breaks my daydream and I come back into this world:-) Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alte Veste Academy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Is all of that a myth? Is it like hoping to see the mythical unicorn, you've heard that maybe it really does exist, but deep down you're sure it's not true? Well, I've bumped into the doggone mythical unicorn two times in the past month. She's an old friend. The first time I bumped into her was at the Barnes & Noble at 10:30 am. I was wrestling 3 kids, trying to get them to behave while I (fruitlessly) searched for a great American history spine for the elementary grades. She was sipping a cappucino and looking beyond fabulous in incredibly stylish clothes, with beautiful but understated hair and makeup. She looked like an after on What Not To Wear. I did not. (Despite my internal feeling of control in my life, I'm afraid I project an aura of frazzled housewife. Note to self: get external image to align with internal feelings.) We chatted for a while and she moved on, sipping and flipping through books without interruption and without having to coax good behavior. I'm 100% POSITIVE that her baseboards were shining and there was a pot roast in her crock pot. The second time I bumped into this unicorn was four days ago at PetsMart, where I was evaluating different kinds of litter because I'm so tired of my kitty's clumping litter going everywhere in my bathroom and blah blah blah...again, with three kids in tow. They were griping at me that they hadn't seen ALL the fish when she approaches, fresh (and I do mean FRESH) from the gym. She was picking up her dog from the groomer and was going to drop him at home and then have lunch with the girls. Again, I'm sure her house was immaculate and she was going to make a standing rib roast for dinner. So, no, it's not a myth. BUT. This is a person who just has different priorities entirely. I don't judge her but I'm also not the same as her. The thought of sending my kids off to our local public schools (having worked in them before I had kids--eek!) is infinitely more upsetting to me than not having lots of lone leisure and planning time. As with everything, it's a trade-off. The way I see it, I'll have lots of that leisure time when my kids are grown up. This is the season of my life, and I'm happy with that. My goal is balance always. Kristina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think that if I had that much time, I'd be pulling my hair out in boredom. I rather like teaching my own kids and the chaos of having kids home 24/7. Somehow, that's rather sad, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, I've bumped into the doggone mythical unicorn two times in the past month. She's an old friend. The first time I bumped into her was at the Barnes & Noble at 10:30 am. I was wrestling 3 kids, trying to get them to behave while I (fruitlessly) searched for a great American history spine for the elementary grades. She was sipping a cappucino and looking beyond fabulous in incredibly stylish clothes, with beautiful but understated hair and makeup. She looked like an after on What Not To Wear. I did not. (Despite my internal feeling of control in my life, I'm afraid I project an aura of frazzled housewife. Note to self: get external image to align with internal feelings.) We chatted for a while and she moved on, sipping and flipping through books without interruption and without having to coax good behavior. I'm 100% POSITIVE that her baseboards were shining and there was a pot roast in her crock pot. The second time I bumped into this unicorn was four days ago at PetsMart, where I was evaluating different kinds of litter because I'm so tired of my kitty's clumping litter going everywhere in my bathroom and blah blah blah...again, with three kids in tow. They were griping at me that they hadn't seen ALL the fish when she approaches, fresh (and I do mean FRESH) from the gym. She was picking up her dog from the groomer and was going to drop him at home and then have lunch with the girls. Again, I'm sure her house was immaculate and she was going to make a standing rib roast for dinner. So, no, it's not a myth. BUT. This is a person who just has different priorities entirely. I don't judge her but I'm also not the same as her. The thought of sending my kids off to our local public schools (having worked in them before I had kids--eek!) is infinitely more upsetting to me than not having lots of lone leisure and planning time. As with everything, it's a trade-off. The way I see it, I'll have lots of that leisure time when my kids are grown up. This is the season of my life, and I'm happy with that. My goal is balance always. Kristina :lol::lol::lol: too funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think I'd get to the gym more! But really, most of my non-hs friends are just as frazzled. They work in the classroom, and most of them do something to earn some money while still trying to be home when the kids are. Their houses are only slightly cleaner than mine. I suspect that having kids in ps is a similar amount of work, just different. Sometimes I listen to what a friend is up to and thank heaven for my simple homeschooling life! :willy_nilly: I would like to be able to go out to lunch with friends, though. That would be really nice. And to go to the gym during the day instead of when I can squeeze it in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 That the only positive thing about being home alone all day is that you could sit here eating bon-bons reading the WTM boards without interruption or guilt!! (Okay maybe a little guilt because everyone would be talking about all of their hs successes) :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I had one year as a SAHM with a child in school. I did get the house clean and made nice meals. I volunteered in the school. I attended a weekly bible study during the day. I took the dog for long walks in the beautiful canyons surrounding our home. It was great. I spent the whole day alone, and when I went to pick up my son from school, I didn't even want to chat with the other Moms because I'd had all that quiet all day and didn't want to break the spell. It was great. I was never bored and never lonely. I did get pregnant with twins and spent a lot of time at medical appointments and getting nexted for the babies, and you can imagine what the next year was like (hint, not quiet!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet in Toronto Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I'm a SAHM with two teen boys in school. My time is spent housekeeping (cleaning, planning, food prep), errands (grocer, cleaners, library, hardware store, etc), pet care (feeding, walking, grooming), self-care (exercise, reading, naps(!)), financial management (bills, accounting), and home maintenance and improvement (I am very handy with a tool box...much more so than my DH). My DH works very long hours and me being at home means I have the energy to do homework supervision and chauffeuring in the evenings, and we don't have errands or home maintenance to do on the weekends. I am up before everybody in the morning to prepare breakfast (for all) and lunch (for DH -kids prep their own lunches), and am often the last to bed. I am not bored in the least. My time is my own and I know that I am extremely blessed to have this lifestyle. I worked outside the home for 17 years in technology, had constant headaches and we were all stretched very thin. Our life has become calmer and less stressful since I have been at home. The transition was forced for me when we moved to the US and I didn't have a work permit. It was at that time that I had the privilege of homeschooling and came to understand just what one parent at home could do by way of improving our communal family life. I have never looked back. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 DH could come home for afternoon teA :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 I thought about that, but didn't want to be the one to bring it up. :D My dh leaves the house at 5:30 a.m. every day to work on our dairy farm, but he comes in for a quick breakfast at about 8:30 a.m. on most days. Sometimes I look at him eating his bowl of Cheerios, glance at the kids milling about, and think, "If the dc were at school, we could be havin' TEA!" (I never have actually said that *to* him, because if he realized, he'd have those kids would be down at the local school *today*! :001_huh:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mountain View Academy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 *helped at the school one morning a week * attended BSF *MOPs leader (2x month) *friends over during the day *volunteered at my church *excercised during day *cooked while ds at school *cleaned while ds at school *saw my friends also SAHM *led Bible Study in neighborhood *one on one with my younger son I now am looking for work because of dh job is quite unstable and he's already taken 2 pay cuts (making what he did at 22 and he's 38). So my days at home with the kids are coming to an end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think I would probably be bored and end up working at least part-time outside of the house (I currently work part-time from home). There's also a good chance that I would end up being one of those library volunteers that spends more time there than the employees... that would be fun. It would be so nice to have that much kid-free time to clean and cook, and even experiment with new recipes without feeling frazzled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 It gets boring and lonely. There is only so much house to clean and so many games you can play with the kids before you want to scream. I was a SAHM for 4 years before homeschooling. Trust me...homeschooling makes our days much more full and happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I can't even fathom it. I read the list of what SAHMs do all day and I think "I do that too, plus homeschool and work full time and take grad school classes." If I could cut out working, homeschooling and grad school classes and ONLY have to do the "running of the household" stuff, I would be in heaven (at first) then I would be bored out of my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Rittenhouse Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, there's the twice daily school run, the volunteering for PTA and the library, the extra help with the evening homework, the reteaching of stuff that isn't/wasn't covered in class. Basically, I still spend the same amount of time with school stuff with three important changes, I don't determine the curriculum, and I don't control or grade the assignments, and teaching begins at 5:00pm instead of 10:00am. The "home" teaching is still the same. Now what used to be the evening chores, laundry, cooking, cleaning are done during the day and the education hours are in the evening. Same stuff, different names (homeschool/afterschool), different times. Oh I do get to go to bed earlier in the evening. My son doesn't have assignments in all his subjects every day so the "school time" shuts down for bedtime at 8:30pm. I used to have to stay up much later to get the housework completed. Now on a day with no appointments, I have, Gasp!, five hours alone! (Cackling wildly) I do have time for me, I can practice my yoga daily, I have read more than one novel this term, and I am learning a foreign language. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyinTexas Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 One of my SAHM friends that have her children at school called the other day. She called from her hot tub. She was trying to work out the kinks after working out that morning. I finally had to let her go because I couldn't really hear what she was saying over the bubble jets??? and I needed to fix lunch and then continue on with HSing. Anyhow, she was with her other friend that has no children. Why in the world did she need to be talking to me? Was it to make a point of how my life could be? Ok, I am over it already......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Most SAHMs in my neighborhood have some part time job when the kids are in school, in addition to doing many volunteer activities--school, church, or community related. Yes, they do get to schedule haircuts and doctors appointments without kids around. But for many women the statement is true "busier than ever". Honestly, if I could quick working completely and all my dc went to school, my house still would not be immaculate. It's reasonably clean, but cluttered. The basic mopping, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, kitchen detail will always get done. I'm so frustrated with having to do that stuff over and over that going beyond that would just be fruitless and depressing to me. Now, there's another kind of SAHM I see in another area of my town. These are woman who seem to have a job maintaining an appearance. These woman must use the time to work out for around 3 hours a day or more plus spend the time on hair and make up. These woman aren't just fit, they are overly sculpted and ready to appear as an accessory to a man. This isn't a large number of women, but I do see a significant number. I like to exercise. I wish I looked better, but I don't know how these women work so hard at an outward look. My dh's cousin thought his wife should be like this --he told me so shortly after they married. They divorced. His wife hadn't gained weight or lost her appearance after 2 kids, but I think she couldn't take it anymore. If I were home fulltime, I'd probably exercise more, but not with the singular focus of being arm candy. And then I'd probably be at my dc schools most of the day. I might do some literacy volunteering too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 While ds was in ps from K-4th grades, I've always had little ones at home while he was gone, so I've never had that sah-alone experience. I definitely dream about it from time to time, even though I'd never do it! I have to admit, it drove me nuts when I had a sah neighbor with one 8yo dd in ps. All she did was talk about how long it took her to clean her house everyday. I was never able to wrap my mind around that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doodle Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 ...If you've ever been a sahm without kids, tell me, was it wonderful? :) When we moved to our current location (new state), I did not have a job and for the first time I did not need one. This was before my son was born, so I was a stay at home wife. I was BORED! My day was based around the TV schedule. Oprah and Dr Phil were my "friends". It was a lonely life. I started scanning the paper for jobs and was thrilled when I found a full time library position was screamed my name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I could easily fill my days with just homemaking duties - the meal prep and cleanup, laundry, cleaning, etc is a ton of work for a family of 6. Add in running to the school for drop offs and pick ups, volunteering in each kids class as needed, and helping with homework every night. That being said - I do envy the fact that non-homeschooling sahms have 6 hours a day of a break from their kids. The intensity of parenting from 7am to 10pm is tough and I wonder sometimes if I would be more consistent or simply more patient were I to have that 6 hour break. To your original question I think SAHMs that aren't homeschooling probably have time for more house projects - cleaning out closets, reorganizing, etc. And probably more time to squeeze in hobby time. And I imagine they get to take days where they do little or nothing - but probably not too terribly often. On the flip side, I do think having the kids at school all day makes it sometimes harder on the mom when she does have them all home all day - like during school breaks or in the summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 (edited) I have never been in that position, but several friends are. They go to the school and help out, do all errands while the kids are in school, and some says there is a great deal of pressure to keep their houses clean since they have 'nothing to do all day' according to many others. Many of them get together to exercise or go out for lunch. Edited January 12, 2009 by dwkilburn1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Hmm, I've been a sahm and homeschooling now for 21 years. I still have about that many to go considering I have 10 at home still and my youngest is only 3. I can't imagine what I would do with myself. The only thing that comes to mind is my house would be cleaner and more organized. Well, maybe not more organized. That's always been a must. But I bet I'd be way fatter or way skinnier. I would always be going out to lunch with friends, or I would always go to the gym. It could go either way with me!!! mom to 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think about this frequently - but remind myself that it WILL be my reality in a decade or so (when ds is the only one left in high school), so I try to not think about it toooo much while I'm in *this* chapter of life. :D I might actually enjoy cooking when that day comes (right now, I'm always in a hectic, hurry-up mode and don't enjoy it one little bit). :D I probably will go back to work at that time, but fully expect to enjoy it - especially the coming-home-to-a-clean-home part. It's so hard to keep things neat when the kids are underfoot 24/7 "helping" to mess it all up again! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 And I really don't want to find out. I think I'd end up bored and of course, guilty over sending them to school so I could have time to myself. I'd love to have time to join a gym though but I can't think what else I'd rather do. Hs'ing fulfills me. Now, what would be perfect would be part-time hs'ing! I'd love it if someone would come to my house even one day a week and hs my kids! Or I do mornings, a hs substitute does afternoons (or vice versa.) Best of both worlds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I'll admit it, I daydream longingly about it! I'd have time to take a photography class. To scrapbook. The house would be clean and well-organized (ie shifting seasonal clothes, organizing closets, etc). I'd read more, I'd excercise, I'd take the dog on long walks rather than throw her ball for 10 minutes at 5 pm each night to wear her out a little. But- it just wouldn't work. The girls would have to quit their activities, as I could not imagine gymnastics practice for a 7 year old until 9 pm and then up for school at 7 am. We move so often, the reason we homeschool is that they would get an incoherent, hodge-podge education. They wouldn't get to go/do/see half the stuff they do now. But I still daydream about it. Ahhhh... (If you are a SAHM of kids in school, kindly do not disabuse me of the notion that its heaven. I need my daydream!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, I've bumped into the doggone mythical unicorn two times in the past month. She's an old friend. The first time I bumped into her was at the Barnes & Noble at 10:30 am. I was wrestling 3 kids, trying to get them to behave while I (fruitlessly) searched for a great American history spine for the elementary grades. She was sipping a cappucino and looking beyond fabulous in incredibly stylish clothes, with beautiful but understated hair and makeup. She looked like an after on What Not To Wear. I did not. (Despite my internal feeling of control in my life, I'm afraid I project an aura of frazzled housewife. Note to self: get external image to align with internal feelings.) We chatted for a while and she moved on, sipping and flipping through books without interruption and without having to coax good behavior. I'm 100% POSITIVE that her baseboards were shining and there was a pot roast in her crock pot. The second time I bumped into this unicorn was four days ago at PetsMart, where I was evaluating different kinds of litter because I'm so tired of my kitty's clumping litter going everywhere in my bathroom and blah blah blah...again, with three kids in tow. They were griping at me that they hadn't seen ALL the fish when she approaches, fresh (and I do mean FRESH) from the gym. She was picking up her dog from the groomer and was going to drop him at home and then have lunch with the girls. Again, I'm sure her house was immaculate and she was going to make a standing rib roast for dinner. So, no, it's not a myth. BUT. This is a person who just has different priorities entirely. I don't judge her but I'm also not the same as her. The thought of sending my kids off to our local public schools (having worked in them before I had kids--eek!) is infinitely more upsetting to me than not having lots of lone leisure and planning time. As with everything, it's a trade-off. The way I see it, I'll have lots of that leisure time when my kids are grown up. This is the season of my life, and I'm happy with that. My goal is balance always. Kristina :lol::lol: LOL!!! But I really shouldn't have read this post. I want to be that unicorn!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 When I was home before we started homeschooling I spent a lot of time in the classroom helping out, or doing work from home for the classroom, making playdough, cutting out things for the teacher etc. I was on the board of the PTA as secretary and spent time putting together minutes, agendas, newsletters. I have known of several who were like this as well. Of course I had a toddler at home so my house still wasn't spotless but it was in better shape than it is now. On the other hand I know of one sahm in the neighborhood (my kids used to play with hers), and when her kids go to school in the am she cleans her house, naps, shops and spends a lot of time online gambling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 If you've ever been a sahm without kids, tell me, was it wonderful? :) Yes! Lots of nooners :) I volunteered full time an my older kids' school. I was PTA Pres and managed our $100 K auction. I cleaned my house. I made 3 healthy meals/day. I exercised a lot. It was a wonderful season of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Back in my non-hsing days, I had two in school and 2 at home. I would go to bible study, grocery shopping, WORKED OUT, visited with friends and was much less frazzled. In fact, one of the moms in our bible study had 4 hsed kids, but they were 11+years old. She was the first HS mom that I ever heard speak about envy of moms who sent their kids to school. She was so real about it, that it actually made hsing seem more realistic to me. Before that, I thought of hsing as something that only super-moms did. And I am not a super-mom. For me, now that I know what it's like to have my kids with me, it would be hard to give that up. I now know what I didn't know. There's no going back for me. Mentally at least. That's not to say that our kids will never be enrolled somewhere, just that I won't feel the way I used to a about it. So anyhow. Yeah, it would be easier. I try not to think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well I am about six years from being a SAHW (my youngest will then be in college). I am easing back into it slowly. I hope to soon be able to do more since I really want next year for my youngest to be much more independent. She is my slowest to become so. (12 and a sixth grader) Anyway, I would go to doctor appointments without worries, I would shop and do errands in daytime, I would volunteer , I would go to more meetings like book clubs, gardening, military spouses, etc. I would probably attend a women's Bible study. I will simply live my life with more calm and less haste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 As with everything, it's a trade-off. The way I see it, I'll have lots of that leisure time when my kids are grown up. This is the season of my life, and I'm happy with that. My goal is balance always. Hmm...I think maybe that's my problem. I don't necessarily have what I consider "balance". Homeschooling 5 dc long-term Part-time church secretary Part-time work outside home as pastry chef Ministering to others by providing freezer meals to shut-ins a couple of times a month. I'm just not finding (or demanding? I dunno...) the right balance of being available to others, serving my family, neighbors, and community, and finding time for my own needs(wants?). It just feels more than a bit selfish to insist on exercise time, Bible study time, relaxation, when I know that I'd have to drop part of my service to other people. There just isn't time to fit anything else in other than what I'm already doing, I think. It's fun to dream about what I'd do with all. that. time. Just how unhealthy do you have to be, spiritually or physically, to decide that exercise and Bible study need attention more than that old, frail person needs a healthy meal? Or that I need relaxation when I think my kids should have a more rigorous education than what I'm currently providing (although it's true that I *never* think what we're doing academically is enough). Sorry I'm rambling, I think my non-homeschool sahm fantasy has led me to some not-so-pleasant introspection...:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I worked up to the month before I was due with my first so the closest I've come is having one baby and me at home. My house was cleaner. I went to Bible study. I watched A LOT of daytime television. I was bored. Now, my house is usually a wreck. I don't go to Bible study. I never watch TV until about 8pm. I'm rarely bored...was over the holiday break though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I wonder too, but I imagine I'd end up going back to work. I don't do boredom well at. all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think homekeeping is what you make it. I've been home with littles (not homeschooling, but with littles), but I went back to work part time this year and only homeschooled ds19 (a little--he was way way independent). I guess I want to both acknowledge and refute the stereotype that sahms are eating bon bons, and going to lunch, and getting their hair done, or conversely, are constantly cleaning and cooking, sewing and doing Bible study (or other intellectual pursuits). I'm uncomfortable with both extremes. I remember my nieces in conversation a couple of years ago--One said, "I want to stay home when I'm married," and the other said, "Why? All you do is clean all day." I guess, for me, the trick is to bloom where you are planted. There are those who will make any situation they are in more interesting for themselves by seeking out things to do. And there are those of us who get depressed easily, or bored easily, but don't seek out activity for various reasons. Me? I liked homeschooling. It gave me a chance to have a purpose, of sorts, and something beyond what I would normally do at home (I'm not much into decorating/handwork/etc.), yet let me be at home, ministering to my family. I can't wait to get back home. This time, however, I plan on setting things up better so that it's not boring (even with homeschooling) or defeating. Being proactive and seeking my life, not just letting it happen to me and reacting to what happens, makes me feel much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staci in FL Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 For those of you who would like to be doing a Bible Study, but don't think that you can do one because you are homeschooling, I came up with a solution. I host a Bible Study in my house every Wednesday during the lunch hour. All of the women bring a bag lunch and we sit at my dining room table going through our Bible Study. My four kids (ages nine and under) eat their lunch and play or watch a movie. Additionally, if you are struggling with the importance (or lack thereof) of housekeeping, run - don't walk - to amazon and order Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life. This book is an absolute gem and has really helped me see the importance of housekeeping. It is a Christian book. Hope that helps someone out there! Staci Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I hate cleaning with every fiber of my being. Having the kids home gives me an excuse to have them do it. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I'm very commited to homeschooling, and have been doing it for oh, about 13 years now. I'd better say it again, I'm very commited to homeschooling. BUT...:001_huh: Sometimes I dream just a bit of what I might be able to do if I *weren't* spending every waking moment supervising, pestering, nagging, teaching, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to send my kids to school. Public school is not an option in my area, private school would eat up 75% of our income, and I really do enjoy teaching my kids. Once in a while I dream wistful dreams about what I'd do with my time if I had 8 1/2 hours a day while my kids were gone at school. I pretend that I'd spend the first 3 hours making my home spotlessly clean all of the time. I'd spend the next hour immersing myself in Bible Study, I'd spend the next hour at exercise, I'd work in the yard for an hour, then I'd spend an hour or so creating a wonderfully healthy snack that my kids could eat when they came in the door, and a healthy but appealing dinner that would make happy scents in the air before dh arrived home after work. Is all of that a myth? Is it like hoping to see the mythical unicorn, you've heard that maybe it really does exist, but deep down you're sure it's not true? :D If you've ever been a sahm without kids, tell me, was it wonderful? :) I just think of this as another season. I had a season of (relatively) carefree youth, a season of wild singledom, a season of intensely focused careerdom, now a season of mothering/homeschooling/basic bread-winning. I know that I WILL have a season of puttering/gardening/leisurely lunches/etc. but it's not time for that now. And, that's okay with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmomtutu Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Well I was one of those moms once upon a time...I did a lot of volunteer work and PTA duties...I had a whole lot more time for working out and shopping and "lunching", meeting my hubby for lunch, running errands, reading...did I say shopping? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Haven't read the other replies but I always assumed they sat around and ate BonBons.:001_tt2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Heheheee...My friend has time for nice long walks, shopping and taking piano lessons, get this, for her! She takes piano lessons! She also volunteers a lot in her son's classroom, maybe her daughter's too. She loves her life. She wants to homeschool her son, who doesn't speak but is of average intelligence (it's genetic) in a couple years but I doubt she will go through with it because she doesn't want to give up her life now. Hmmm.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.