What would you do?

[Terabith]

To set the scene:  a fairly run down house a block or two away from a local college.  (The college my youngest will attend in the fall.). I am playing Pokemon Go.  There are about ten very young, very fit, shirtless men/ boys standing on the premises of the house.  There are six of them standing on the roof shotgunning beers.  Like I watched each of them down at least four in the less than ten minutes I was watching.  Just drinking beer after beer and throwing the cans off the roof.  There were another four playing beer pong in the yard, with a very large collection of bottles of hard liquor around them.  There were a few lawn chairs, but it appeared that most people were just standing around and drinking on the roof.  Where there is no shade, and it is 100 degrees.  

I mean, what could possibly go wrong here?  Honestly, what are they thinking?

I just watched and did my thing and drove off.  Should I have called the cops?  I am generally uneasy about law enforcement, but these were young white guys, so probably less at risk than many other people.  I mean, the roof was flat, but it still seems unwise to have presumably very drunk people hanging around up there or climbing up and down the ladder.

[Ottakee]

I doubt I would have done anything.  It could be that one or more of them live there.   People generally have the right to be stupid.  So unless you saw minors in harms way I would not have done anything.

[Terabith]

10 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I doubt I would have done anything.  It could be that one or more of them live there.   People generally have the right to be stupid.  So unless you saw minors in harms way I would not have done anything.

Oh, I'm quite sure several of them live there.  I kinda wondered if I should have told them they were being idiots, but I mean, they had to know that.  Right?

[maize]

What would the cops do?

Do you have ordinances in your area against drinking beer on private property, on a roof or otherwise?

People and their friends choosing to do dumb things at a private home is not something I see cops intervening in. They wouldn't have any legal justification based on what you described.

[HomeAgain]

They seem to be adults.  You can't save adults from themselves.  As long as there wasn't an active emergency, there wasn't much you could feasibly do.

[Rosie_0801]

I'd cross my fingers they had ambulance cover and continue on with my day.

[Terabith]

6 minutes ago, maize said:

What would the cops do?

Do you have ordinances in your area against drinking beer on private property, on a roof or otherwise?

People and their friends choosing to do dumb things at a private home is not something I see cops intervening in. They wouldn't have any legal justification based on what you described.

I suspect there are probably ordinances against public drunkenness, and I suspect even on private property if you're visible from a park across the street counts.  Normally I wouldn't consider that to be something worth reporting, but the roof thing just made me feel worried.

[Terabith]

The other option that occurs to me is that I might could have contacted the college's campus safety, but they're off campus, so I dunno.  They would be more likely to have a word with them about being smart about their drinking.

[Katy]

College kids drinking at their home? You do nothing. 

[EKS]

I would not do anything.

[annandatje]

No, you should not call cops.  They presumably are adults putting only themselves at risk and not anyone else.

[MEmama]

It would never occur to me I should do something. Honestly, I'd probably have a chuckle and maybe reminisce about the stupid stuff I did when I was young.

[Arcadia]

While someone might fall off or be push off the roof, there is nothing much the local police could do though when it’s a private premise. 

[Terabith]

Just now, Arcadia said:

While someone might fall off or be push off the roof, there is nothing much the local police could do though when it’s a private premise. 

Okay, it confuses me that everyone says that, when my oldest's extremely excellent in home daycare provider was arrested and spent the night in jail for "public drunkenness" because she had ONE BEER in her fenced backyard (after all the kids had gone home of course), and when tested her blood alcohol level was well under the limit, but it was considered as setting a bad example.  I was never sure how fenced backyard was public either, but San Antonio police were apparently completely ridiculous.  

[Arcadia]

5 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Okay, it confuses me that everyone says that, when my oldest's extremely excellent in home daycare provider was arrested and spent the night in jail for "public drunkenness" because she had ONE BEER in her fenced backyard (after all the kids had gone home of course), and when tested her blood alcohol level was well under the limit, but it was considered as setting a bad example.  I was never sure how fenced backyard was public either, but San Antonio police were apparently completely ridiculous.  

In my area, the police would swing by if someone log a public nuisance call and there is enough manpower available (most of the time). However, they would not swing by if it is just people drinking and chatting softly in their own balconies, backyard, front porch. Is your home daycare provider registered? I have a neighbor that runs a home daycare and people’s expectations are higher and the police would be less gracious about public nuisance calls. 

[Terabith]

Just now, Arcadia said:

In my area, the police would swing by if someone log a public nuisance call and there is enough manpower available (most of the time). However, they would not swing by if it is just people drinking and chatting softly in their own balconies, backyard, front porch. Is your home daycare provider registered? I have a neighbor that runs a home daycare and people’s expectations are higher and the police would be less gracious about public nuisance calls. 

It was like 19 years ago, but yes, she was registered.  Maybe that's it.  I dunno.  

[wintermom]

Yes, there could well be an accident with the guys, just as there could be with you playing Pokemon Go. There was more incidents in the news about Pokemon Go a few years back than college parties on people's own property. 

[prairiewindmomma]

38 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Okay, it confuses me that everyone says that, when my oldest's extremely excellent in home daycare provider was arrested and spent the night in jail for "public drunkenness" because she had ONE BEER in her fenced backyard (after all the kids had gone home of course), and when tested her blood alcohol level was well under the limit, but it was considered as setting a bad example.  I was never sure how fenced backyard was public either, but San Antonio police were apparently completely ridiculous.  

SAPD is completely ridiculous. There’s a reason their frequent misconduct cases hit the papers. 

[klmama]

People do all kinds of legal, stupid things.  When I see it, I just pray for their safety.  ETA:  If I thought it would make a difference, I'd mention my concern.  In the case of drunk college students who don't know me?  I doubt they'd listen.

Edited June 30 by klmama

[Carol in Cal.]

I would personally go talk to them in a kidding way to get them to realize that they seemed to be behaving oddly.

Like, What is this, a recycling convention?  What will you give me if I bag up your cans?

Or, Hey Humpty Dumpty!  Hope you don’t have a great fall!

I’d be super cheerful, very smiley, laughing even, and just kind of try to wake them up to what they are doing.

Maybe, Hey, it’s cooler down here in the shade!  

I’ve intervened in several actual yelling matches that seemed headed to being actual physical fights that way, successfully.  It can be done.

 

[City Mouse]

5 hours ago, Terabith said:

I suspect there are probably ordinances against public drunkenness, and I suspect even on private property if you're visible from a park across the street counts.  Normally I wouldn't consider that to be something worth reporting, but the roof thing just made me feel worried.

Depends on the state. In Texas, being drunk in public is generally illegal. In New Mexico, it is not illegal to simply be drunk in public, and people cannot be arrested or detained for only being drunk. 
 

Edited June 30 by City Mouse

[Clarita]

2 hours ago, Terabith said:

Okay, it confuses me that everyone says that, when my oldest's extremely excellent in home daycare provider was arrested and spent the night in jail for "public drunkenness" because she had ONE BEER in her fenced backyard (after all the kids had gone home of course), and when tested her blood alcohol level was well under the limit, but it was considered as setting a bad example. 

Sometimes daycare locations are under different rules. I feel like it sounds like the daycare provider incident is an overreaction.

I  don't think there is a lot the police can do (this may depend on location). So for us unless it's breaking the noise ordinance the most the police can do is drive by and say "Hey, be careful," if they are on their own property. 

I do not think it's completely innocuous, since I do know more than one person who died from falling of a roof and in one of those incidents drinking was involved. 

[SKL]

If they appear to be adults and the roof is flat, I would say a prayer or two and go on my way.  Thank God they aren't driving or wielding deadly weapons.

Edited June 30 by SKL

[KidsHappen]

I guess it depends on where you live. In TN you can be arrested for public drunkenness for drinking outside on your own private property. Still I would not call the police. My requirements for calling the police are very high. The only time I have ever called the police is once when we lived in an apartment and a woman that lived in an adjoining apartment had a man beating her door in and yelling violent threats at her and she was clearly scared. When we called to report the police said that they had already received several calls. Well, I have also had my employees call the police at work when I as manager was dealing with a violent customer (more than once). 

[HomeAgain]

9 hours ago, Terabith said:

Okay, it confuses me that everyone says that, when my oldest's extremely excellent in home daycare provider was arrested and spent the night in jail for "public drunkenness" because she had ONE BEER in her fenced backyard (after all the kids had gone home of course), and when tested her blood alcohol level was well under the limit, but it was considered as setting a bad example.  I was never sure how fenced backyard was public either, but San Antonio police were apparently completely ridiculous.  

Well, there is a lot the police could do, you're right.

They could arrest for public drunkenness for an unfounded claim

They could assume a beer can is a weapon and shoot indiscriminately

They could tell someone to get down, call it resisting arrest when the person on the roof legitimately doesn't hear them, and taser them off the roof.

 

The list goes on with how it could end, but so many scenarios end without the best interest of anyone else in mind.  So a reasonable person has to ask themselves if the potential for the other scenarios are worth it.  If you are certain of your police force being well regulated and community minded, that would factor into your decision as well.

Call the emergency line if there's an emergency, but I wouldn't count on them to be proper babysitters of the community if there isn't.

[marbel]

Agreeing that I wouldn't call the police. I wouldn't speak to the young men either, in a joking way or not. That puts  you at risk needlessly. There is just no reason to insert yourself in that situation. They don't care what you have to say. No one's gonna say "oh wow, you're right!" and clean up their act (and their yard).  More likely you'd get an empty bottle tossed your way. 

[Dmmetler]

You might want to try campus student affairs. If that's a fraternity or other campus org, they probably have standards they're expected to follow even if their house is officially off campus. 

 

[Terabith]

To be clear, I wasn’t wanting anyone to get in trouble. It just seemed like a situation in which someone was very likely to get rather hurt, and I wasn’t sure if I had some sort of moral imperative to try to prevent that.  Multiple drunk people on a roof just seems super risky.  

[Arcadia]

11 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Multiple drunk people on a roof just seems super risky.  

When my ex-schoolmates were drunk from after exam parties, we always had people abstaining to provide help. 
In your scenario it is kind of hard if the whole group is drunk. We could call and say drunk people are throwing beer cans off the roof as a non emergency call and the police would swing by. However, if the drunk people are too inebriated to listen, the police can’t do much. 

[Drama Llama]

I would probably imagine my own kids up there, feel sick to my stomach, say a little prayer, and then keep watching as if, somehow, my attention was a talisman that would save them from themselves.

Not saying that's what you should do, as none of those responses would actually help anything.  

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, Drama Llama said:

and then keep watching as if, somehow, my attention was a talisman that would save them from themselves.

Not saying that's what you should do, as none of those responses would actually help anything.

It would if someone fall off the roof and everyone there was too drunk to call 911. My friend went to medical school in Cork, Ireland and drinking parties were common after exams. Intoxicated people were up dancing on residence halls roofs. Luckily nothing fatal happened while she was there. 

[*****]

1 hour ago, Drama Llama said:

feel sick to my stomach, say a little prayer, and then keep watching as if, somehow, my attention was a talisman that would save them from themselves.

I love your wording on this, especially the 'talisman'!  So true to some of the things we moms have to do to prevent full blown anxiety attacks for  ourselves for what we know could happen!

[Hilltopmom]

23 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

You might want to try campus student affairs. If that's a fraternity or other campus org, they probably have standards they're expected to follow even if their house is officially off campus. 

 

This.

[Home'scool]

On 6/29/2024 at 6:00 PM, Terabith said:

I am generally uneasy about law enforcement, but these were young white guys, so probably less at risk than many other people. 

Ummmm just gotta say .... not all cops are racist. My nephew is a police officer so I admit I am a bit sensitive to this.

But he would only care that a person was acting like a fool, not whether that person is white or black. 

 

[KSera]

4 hours ago, Home'scool said:

Ummmm just gotta say .... not all cops are racist. My nephew is a police officer so I admit I am a bit sensitive to this.

But he would only care that a person was acting like a fool, not whether that person is white or black. 

 

I don’t see any suggestion that all cops are racist. But since some are, and people of color are quite clearly at greater risk statistically than whites if police show up, Terabith’s statement makes sense as far as factors to consider when deciding what to do. It doesn’t mean your nephew or any other specific cop is racist. Terabith wouldn’t be able to count on it being your nephew that responded to the call. 

[SKL]

1 hour ago, KSera said:

I don’t see any suggestion that all cops are racist. But since some are, and people of color are quite clearly at greater risk statistically than whites if police show up, Terabith’s statement makes sense as far as factors to consider when deciding what to do. It doesn’t mean your nephew or any other specific cop is racist. Terabith wouldn’t be able to count on it being your nephew that responded to the call. 

So are we saying that if it's a bunch of white guys, call the cops so they'll be saved from their stupidity, but if it's a bunch of black guys, let them fall to their deaths?

[KSera]

4 minutes ago, SKL said:

So are we saying that if it's a bunch of white guys, call the cops so they'll be saved from their stupidity, but if it's a bunch of black guys, let them fall to their deaths?

Well, that's a good point looking at it that way honestly. And why it's probably better not to call the cops for this either way but to attempt some simple human-to-human intervention to encourage them down to lower ground.

[Home'scool]

Being "generally uneasy about law enforcement" just seems like a very wide, very broad brush.

It's the guy climbing through your window at 3:00am that should make you uneasy.

 

[Lecka]

I would not be very concerned, if I were concerned at all.  They sound like they’re probably going to be fine, to me.

 

However!!!!!  One time I was driving near campus in a college town, and saw a young man wearing cheap-looking flip flops on a scooter.  Then he turned in front of me and put the sole of the flip flop on the ground as he made the turn, so that it dragged along the ground.  I was so, so concerned, but I was in the intersection at a red light, and just watched him ride away!!!!!!!!  It can still make my heart race to think about it.  

[Terabith]

4 hours ago, Home'scool said:

Being "generally uneasy about law enforcement" just seems like a very wide, very broad brush.

It's the guy climbing through your window at 3:00am that should make you uneasy.

 

I am WAY more concerned about law enforcement than I am about guys climbing through my window at 3 am.  I feel way more at risk from encounters with law enforcement than I do with any of the random people who have wandered into my house in the middle of the night.  There have been several.  We don't tend to lock our doors, and everyone who has wandered into our house in the middle of the night needed help.  I feel like statistically the armed person with almost unlimited power is the riskiest person I am likely to engage in in the course of my daily life.  

I am also very aware that 15 years ago when a police car turned onto our street, and there were like 9 kids playing outside, 50% white and 50% people of color, every single child of color, including the two year old, immediately dropped what they were holding and raised their hands over their heads.  I'm quite aware that my neighbors are terrified of law enforcement, and that's something that it would be irresponsible to ignore.  

But your mileage may vary.  

[chocolate-chip chooky]

@Terabith I'm with you on this.

I would find it very hard to witness that and just pass on by and do nothing. 

I think that I would phone the local police station, tell them what I witnessed and express my concern over their safety.  

It's then in the hands of the police if they think it's worth a drive by and check it out.

 

[Catwoman]

12 hours ago, Terabith said:

I am WAY more concerned about law enforcement than I am about guys climbing through my window at 3 am.  I feel way more at risk from encounters with law enforcement than I do with any of the random people who have wandered into my house in the middle of the night.  There have been several.  We don't tend to lock our doors, and everyone who has wandered into our house in the middle of the night needed help.  I feel like statistically the armed person with almost unlimited power is the riskiest person I am likely to engage in in the course of my daily life.  

I am also very aware that 15 years ago when a police car turned onto our street, and there were like 9 kids playing outside, 50% white and 50% people of color, every single child of color, including the two year old, immediately dropped what they were holding and raised their hands over their heads.  I'm quite aware that my neighbors are terrified of law enforcement, and that's something that it would be irresponsible to ignore.  

But your mileage may vary.  

 

Ok, wait.

MULTIPLE RANDOM PEOPLE HAVE "WANDERED" INTO YOUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??? And you still don't lock your doors??? 

Where do you live that multiple random people have just wandered into your house in the middle of the night??? And more importantly, why hasn't that scared you enough to start locking your doors? Even if for some bizarre reason you and your dh weren't worried about your own safety, any one of those "random people" could have kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or killed your children!

And it's the police you're worried about? 

But you're not worried about total strangers opening your door and coming into your house in the middle of the night? 

Wow.

I'm sorry, but that just makes no sense to me. I mean, nothing like this has ever happened to me, but if even one drunk guy ever mistakenly tried to open my door because he was at the wrong house, that would be enough to make me double check the locks on my doors every night for a very long time to come. I don't care if the people who illegally entered your home "needed help" -- when people need help, they should ring the doorbell or knock on the door, not break in to your house! And why would strangers be showing up at your house needing help in the middle of the night? Seriously, this is just bizarre.

I really hope we can talk you into locking your doors from now on, because if you live in a place where strangers break into your house in the middle of the night (no matter what the reason,) that's a very bad thing! If people need your help, they can ring the doorbell.

 

[QueenCat]

12 hours ago, Terabith said:

I am WAY more concerned about law enforcement than I am about guys climbing through my window at 3 am.  I feel way more at risk from encounters with law enforcement than I do with any of the random people who have wandered into my house in the middle of the night.  There have been several.  We don't tend to lock our doors, and everyone who has wandered into our house in the middle of the night needed help.  I feel like statistically the armed person with almost unlimited power is the riskiest person I am likely to engage in in the course of my daily life.  

 

Wait, what??? Guys come climbing in your window in the middle of the night??? And that doesn't concern you? You're not concerned that one day, it might be a bad guy & you've risked your kids' lives? Or your own? 

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, Catwoman said:

 

Ok, wait.

MULTIPLE RANDOM PEOPLE HAVE "WANDERED" INTO YOUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??? And you still don't lock your doors??? 

Where do you live that multiple random people have just wandered into your house in the middle of the night??? And more importantly, why hasn't that scared you enough to start locking your doors? Even if for some bizarre reason you and your dh weren't worried about your own safety, any one of those "random people" could have kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or killed your children!

And it's the police you're worried about? 

But you're not worried about total strangers opening your door and coming into your house in the middle of the night? 

Wow.

I'm sorry, but that just makes no sense to me. I mean, nothing like this has ever happened to me, but if even one drunk guy ever mistakenly tried to open my door because he was at the wrong house, that would be enough to make me double check the locks on my doors every night for a very long time to come. I don't care if the people who illegally entered your home "needed help" -- when people need help, they should ring the doorbell or knock on the door, not break in to your house! And why would strangers be showing up at your house needing help in the middle of the night? Seriously, this is just bizarre.

I really hope we can talk you into locking your doors from now on, because if you live in a place where strangers break into your house in the middle of the night (no matter what the reason,) that's a very bad thing! If people need your help, they can ring the doorbell.

 

Nobody has ever climbed through a window in the middle of the night. One time a very, very elderly man barged in screaming, “Help! Help!” He had dementia and thought his kids were kidnapping him. We got him calmed down and we did call police who made sure he was safe.  Another was a female neighbor who had gotten into a fight with her housemate and who had hurt her. And the third time wasn’t actually someone who had walked in on their own; it was a refugee my husband had brought home from a bus station but hadn’t really communicated with us about the fact that he was bringing him home to sleep on our couch.  
 

We never lock our doors during the day.  We do usually lock them at night, but a lot of times we just forget.  I have never felt unsafe in our neighborhood.  

[J-rap]

Getting back to your original question:  I would do nothing.  Stuff like this happens all the time.  Police have neither the time nor person-power to act as babysitters for all the dumb stuff people do.  I'm sorry.  I think it's very kind of you to care.

[QueenCat]

40 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Nobody has ever climbed through a window in the middle of the night.

You are the one who mentioned guys coming through the window at 3am. And stereotyping all law enforcement as being scary is dangerous. 

[Terabith]

3 minutes ago, QueenCat said:

You are the one who mentioned guys coming through the window at 3am. And stereotyping all law enforcement as being scary is dangerous. 

Homes’chool was the one who mentioned it.  I just said none of the people who have made their way to my house in the middle of the night were dangerous, and in fact they were all in need of help.  I certainly don’t believe all law enforcement are dangerous.  Of course they aren’t.  I said that they are have more potential danger as a group than most people I encounter, because they are armed and powerful, and that other people are far more at risk statistically than I am.  

[QueenCat]

19 hours ago, Home'scool said:

Being "generally uneasy about law enforcement" just seems like a very wide, very broad brush.

It's the guy climbing through your window at 3:00am that should make you uneasy.

 

Exactly.

[QueenCat]

19 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Homes’chool was the one who mentioned it.  I just said none of the people who have made their way to my house in the middle of the night were dangerous, and in fact they were all in need of help.  I certainly don’t believe all law enforcement are dangerous.  Of course they aren’t.  I said that they are have more potential danger as a group than most people I encounter, because they are armed and powerful, and that other people are far more at risk statistically than I am.  

I stand corrected on that one aspect. It is dangerous to leave your doors unlocked. I'm glad  you were able to help people, but those incidents could have gone in completely different directions. Ringing  your doorbell would still have gotten your attention to help.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, QueenCat said:

I stand corrected on that one aspect. It is dangerous to leave your doors unlocked. I'm glad  you were able to help people, but those incidents could have gone in completely different directions. Ringing  your doorbell would still have gotten your attention to help.

I agree.

I know Terabith has mentioned in other threads in the past that she doesn't lock her doors, but it's so hard for me to imagine continuing not to lock the doors even after a stranger entered the house in the middle of the night! The fact that she was extremely lucky and nothing terrible happened wouldn't have stopped my brain from obsessing over what could have happened, and how my family could have been injured or killed by an intruder. The concept that she still doesn't lock her doors after several people have walked into her house in the middle of the night... 🤯

Terabith, come on, don't make us worry about you! Lock your doors!