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Everything posted by Home'scool

  1. I think this is what kicked off my panic episode. From the beginning I did not want to be either a burden to anybody or beholden to anybody. My sister insists that I am neither and that we are a team together in this. Living with her for the last 4 years has been the happiest I have been in a while and it is the same for her. It has really turned out wonderfully that we are together. BUT ..... the thought that without her opening her home and without the safety of her having a place for me I don't know where I would be. And then I start worrying if something happens to her. Then she says "But you have children and other family" and then I panic thinking of having to burden my children and round and round it goes. Logically I make plenty between my job and what I will get in alimony. But having this happen in my mid-50's, not knowing for so long how much money I will have, not having a home of my own ...... it's been tough. I also get so mad at my STBX because he wanted a "traditional" marriage where I did all the cooking, cleaning and child rearing. So I purposely did not work on establishing my career. But then, after having an agreement for 25 years of marriage, his answer is for me to go out and get a better job. The lack of compassion from him is breath taking.
  2. Ok, I spoke to soon .... maybe? According to my lawyer, the clerk mailed out the judge's ruling yesterday (9/12/19) --- so as soon as my attorney gets it in the mail they will email to me. I am assuming that will be Monday. I can't believe they MAIL the freakin' thing instead of emailing it! I guess I shouldn't complain (but I will) -- my attorney said she really thought it would take longer. The way it was explained to me, it takes so long depending on how many cases the judge has before mine to review. I believe she has to research law stuff etc. So while ours would seem to be straightforward (no child custody or support issues, no property squabbles, anything messy like that) it still depends on how many cases are before us. There will be a lot of drinking this weekend for sure.
  3. Just a (non) update .... It has been about 7 weeks since we finished the trial. When I checked in with my attorney she said it could be "months" before we get a decision. Ugh. I'm hoping it is not that long. I can only move on with my life so much without this situation being wrapped up 😞
  4. Once when my nephew was about 5, we were visiting my grandmother. She had a picture of Jesus on the wall. My nephew asked who it was, and when I said it was Jesus he thought for a moment and then said "Who took the picture?" That one stumped me! haha
  5. I don't know if this is what you are looking for, but when my girls were younger and entering that "the world is always ending" phase I wanted a way to show them that what is frustrating them today is probably something they will scoff at later. I printed out a picture of a baby having a crying fit and then I taped it to a kitchen cabinet. After that, any time they came to me with their "world-ending" problems we would talk it out, and then I would have them write on the crying baby picture a sentence or two about what they were upset about. We had things like "I hate my braces", "I did poorly on a test", "Billy talked to another girl today". I kept the picture up the whole school year and at the end of the year we took it down and revisited all the tear-inducing moments. Except that now time had passed and they realized they were no longer upset about such things. I believe it helped them with the concept of "This, too, shall pass" that I am always trying to drill into them. And it made for some funny memories haha. Just as an aside, one night we were having Chinese food and for some reason my youngest, who was about 11 at the time, was having a bad night. I suggested we all try out our fortune cookies to try to lighten the mood. When she opened up hers, it was a dud. It said "It's better to be the beak on a chicken than the tail of a donkey". She immediately burst into tears (I guess that was the last straw) and she burst out with "I hate my hair, I have no friends, and I stink at playing softball!" None of those things were true but to her it was momentous. 3 months later, looking at that on the screaming baby picture and she was able to laugh at it. 😊 Maybe you could print out a picture that is relevant to him? Iron Man or something?
  6. I decided to buy a small table easel (I got it at Michael's on sale for $30) and set it up at one end of my kitchen table. I just put an old cloth down underneath it so no paint will get on the table. I took the paint by number canvas and stretched it over a blank canvas that was mounted on a frame and thumb-tacked it down. All the youtube videos I watched did not show to do this but I feel like it gives me more stability. Same with the easel -- I tend to have a bad back and I think the easel makes it so I do not have to lean over so far. You can also just spin the picture to have the portion you are working on closest to you. I just keep it set up on my kitchen table but I think it would be easy to move if needed. It's just the canvas, some small pots of paint, and some paintbrushes. On a side note, I find the "time lapse" videos on youtube of people painting by numbers very relaxing! Sometimes I watch those right before I go to bed. 🙂
  7. They advise to fill in one color first, then move on to the next color, either going from light to dark or dark to light in order to see how colors work together. I started out that way but now have just been filling in colors depending on the area I am working on. All you really need for this is a steady hand 🙂
  8. I was amazed at how many options are out there! I did get a canvas that was not stretched on a frame and so far its been fine. Because it is my first one I didn't stress too much!
  9. This is my issue too. I am not creative on my own. I need to have directions. But the paint by number is perfect. There are some that require you to mix two colors to get a third but I made sure the first paint by number I am doing doesn't require that. I have to ease into these things!
  10. The one I am working on is called "Lovers Walk on the Street". You can buy it on Amazon or any other craft company online. Just google it and you will find a lot of options.
  11. Paint by numbers! I used to do them as a kid, but of course it was just the cartoony puppy or horses or whatever. But now I have discovered that they have some really beautiful options! The canvas it is printed on is high quality. I did buy my own paintbrushes as I read the ones that come with the kit can be cheap. For someone like me, who can't even draw a stick figure, this has been so much fun! I usually get a glass of wine and set up my audible book when I paint. It is so relaxing! Below is the one I am working on. Sorry the picture is so big. I don't know how to shrink it.
  12. Ugh no news yet! By the end of the day my phone is always dead because I check my emails so much! According to my lawyer this judge is quick with her decisions ..... I guess it all depends on how many people are ahead of me. And I don't know if I already said this, so forgive me if I am repeating myself, but my lawyer contacted me about a week after the trial. She said that the bailiff told her "The judge is going to crush that guy" because he was making such an ass out of himself. That gives me hope! Believe me, y'all will the the second to know once I get the ruling! 😊 Hopefully this week but I really don't know.
  13. I was at my chiropractor's office the other day and he was chatting while adjusting my back. We were talking about how hot it has been and he mentioned that he and his wife went down to the local beach for a walk. Then he said "While we were walking we realized we were literally the only white people on the beach! I felt like I was in Jamaica or something!" We do live in a predominately white area .... only in the last 10 years or so has it started to diversify, so if you grew up in this area (like he has) then you may notice that there is a more diverse population than in the past. Then I started to think that if he said "While we were walking we realized we were literally the only old couple on the beach. I felt like I was in Cancun on Spring Break!" Or he could have said "we were the only old people on the beach, everyone there was a family with little kids" and neither one of those statements would have been bad. I usually try to make some kind of comment if I feel someone is saying something racist, but I didn't want to reprimand him if he was just making an innocent comment. So what say you?
  14. I'm still waiting! The lawyers submitted their final paperwork about 2 weeks ago so now we are just in a holding pattern. I did get a copy of his final paperwork. He is offering such a small amount in alimony that I would literally be struggling until I retired. Such a bad bad man. But I promise to update once I do get the word from the judge!
  15. My daughter had a similar situation. She had a slight curve in her spine (but not enough to be treated) and one leg was shorter than the other. I think she was about 12 when they diagnosed it. They also recommended removing growth plates, etc., but only if it got really bad. I, too, was horrified at the concept of such an invasive surgery. I also worried that the recovery process would be months and months! She is now 22 and fine. It did hinder her a bit when she was younger because she could not run as smoothly as other kids. She played softball extremely well but usually was replaced by a base runner. It made her running more like "ground pounding" than running. But if it wasn't for the high level of play through high school i'm not sure we would've noticed it holding her back in any way.
  16. I have actually give this a lot of thought, especially when I cannot sleep at night. It helps me to quiet my mind! I have 2 ideas that I would love: I would love to have a knitting shop that also has a great little book store attached to it. I would also have a few cats around to help contribute to an atmosphere of "come in, browse, sit down with a good book (and maybe a cat on your lap!), find something interesting". The second idea assumes I have been bestowed with great creative talent, which I have not been. But, I envision that I live somewhere like Vermont and have a huge barn in the back that is my workshop, I would turn antique shop finds and yard sale junk into super cool, re-purposed items, like turning an old trunk into a coffee table, stuff like that. I would have a large, happy-sappy dog that followed me everywhere and when it was snowing I would light a fire and tinker away. And I would also have cats haha.
  17. When my sister used to work the reservation line at a major airline, she would always tell people that they were allowed to bring "2 checked bags" . A woman called to complain that her luggage was plain and she did not see why she had to go out and buy specific luggage that had checks on it. 🤨
  18. Winner winner I owe you a chicken dinner! Thank you it was making me crazy!!
  19. No, is is on a regular computer, not a touch pad. I know I hit "something" by mistake and all of a sudden everything was really tiny. Only on this site though. Other sites are fine. Thanks for trying to help! 🙂
  20. For some reason, and only with the Well Trained Mind website, my screen looks like I am looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Help!
  21. I approached this in a two-pronged way. First, I would ALWAYS preach to them that their family and their home is a "soft spot". That the world can be a rough place where people pick on you, or call you names or just in general can wear you down. But how lucky they are that once they are with family there is NONE of that. "There are enough people in the world who would love to pick on you so we, as a family, have decided that this is a SAFE place for you. There is no name calling, no judging, no bullying. You can be at peace and let your guard down because you are with family and safe." That would be repeated, over and over, until it became the family mantra. They eventually became very invested in this concept because it did save them from being teased. Then, to enforce it, I would do this: if we were at the park and one kid spit water on the other, prompting them to dump water on the first, I would go over with mock horror and say "Oh my! I thought bringing you to the park would make you happy! I'm so sorry it is making you this unhappy that you have to pick at each other. We should leave immediately!" AND THEN YOU LEAVE THE PARK. When my girls did this over a toy I would do the same thing; "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that toy would make you happy but obviously it is making you unhappy so let me just get rid of it" AND THEN THROW THE TOY AWAY You only need to do this a few times for them to get it. After that, when bickering starts, I would just yell out to them "Is something making you unhappy?" and they would stop immediately. I was the youngest in a family of 3 children and no parental supervision. It was horrible. The "teasing" is not fun when someone is crying.
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