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Home'scool

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  1. I just spoke with my attorney .... she agrees that we will not send my tax filings for 2019 & 2020 and that he is just being slippery. So today we will file a new contempt charge (this has to be at least #7) against him because he has not responded to our requests regarding picking an accountant, etc. He lost the appeal regarding the taxes in JUNE and I have been trying to get him to file since then. And yet, he will tell you he is the victim. Thank you all for your advice. It always helps!!!!
  2. Per my divorce decree my ex and I have to file taxes for 2017 & 2018 as "married" as we were still going through the divorce at that time. I have filed "single" for 2019 & 2020 and am up-to-date on any payments, etc. In fact, my accountant set me up with quarterly payments that I make towards the next years' taxes so I don't get hit with a big tax bill (the alimony I receive all has to be claimed, costing me about 25% in taxes that I have to pay on the alimony) so I have been keeping up with those payments. My ex tried to email me directly with what his accountant wants, like W-2's and 1099's, which is reasonable. But then he stated the following: "The first question concerns establishing the precise tax status and baseline. Please confirm if you have filed any returns for those years and if so, please furnish a copy. " Is there any valid reason he would need my taxes from 2019 & 2020? We have filed "married" since 1989 so he has all the past history .... why does he need to know my status with the IRS for the years I filed single? This guy is very conniving and vindictive. I worry he has something up his sleeve with this. He is beyond furious that he has to pay me alimony so he tries everything he can to squeeze every penny and screw me. Any advice helps. Thank you!
  3. I have used Blue Apron for about 2 years now. I am very pleased with them. The quality of the food is amazing, especially their steaks. Everything you needs come with it ... they will even send you a tblsp of butter if the recipe calls for it! My sister and I do it and the portions are perfect. Enough to fill us up with no leftovers. A big eater might find it not enough food.
  4. I have used it with no issues. It makes life so much easier!
  5. I LOVE audio books! It saves my sanity during my 45 minute commute. I also listen to audiobooks while doing paint by number ... it is so relaxing. I got the audiobook Ethan Frome, which is one of my favorite stories, but the narrator was so annoying! Every time he voiced the Ethan character he would sound like a constipated bear! You can listen to a sample before buying ... I always do that now to know what I am getting.
  6. I guess I was just confused because it has been a very stressful time for me and there are a lot of things still up in the air. I would have expected the dream to just be frustrating and full of anxiety. I'm just going to be glad that the dream finally ended well and take it as a sign that things may resolve soon! 🙂
  7. I have had a recurring dream for the past few years. I have had repeating dreams before but this one has taken front and center for the past few years. The oddest thing, though, is that last night my dream completely resolved itself! My dream is this: I am a teenager entering a new high school (I did switch high schools in my sophomore year so there is that...) It is a very large high school and I have been there for a few weeks when I realize that I have not made any friends. Everyone is pleasant but no one has gotten to know me and I literally know no ones name. I am not really stressed about the new school, but then I realize I have not attended a certain class (it is either math or writing) for weeks. I try to break down the problem by telling myself to find a copy of the class syllabus, do all the homework, and then approach the teacher and hope for the best. But, of course, I cannot find my locker, or I forget my combination, or I don't know which exact class it is, etc. In last night's dream I was at the same high school, only people were noticing me and being nice. One cute boy even helped me find my way around! And then a teacher handed me a date planner and it was all filled out with all the information I needed; the times of my classes, the location of the classes and all the assignments. Although the dream was never very stressful, as some dreams like that are, once I was handed the date planner I felt calm and knew I would be okay. I have never had a dream resolve before. I have a few things still in turmoil in my life right now and none of them seem to be close to resolution, so I'm not sure what to think. Any ideas? Even (insert Twilight Zone music here) any ideas that are spiritual? I do believe in that stuff so feel free to chime in with opinions! Thanks in advance!
  8. For me this would be normal. I tend to wake up multiple times a night but as long as I can fall asleep again I don't find that to be a problem!
  9. After 35, there is no way to get out of a pool float with your dignity intact.
  10. When I retire I plan on emulating my grandparents. Both were immigrants and worked very hard for everything they had. When they retired they had a small house in a beautiful spot. A quiet, dirt paved road so hardly any traffic. He gardened, she knitted or quilted. They would always take a break around 3:00 pm to sit for a few minute in the yard with a glass of wine. They just lived a peaceful, quiet existence. That is what I want ..... just to live peacefully and quietly.
  11. Just to answer some questions: The taxes for 2017 & 2018 were never filed. That was always his job in the marriage and he always screwed it up. Once I was officially divorced I found a great CPA and filed my taxes for 2019 and 2020 ON TIME and simply paid what I had to. So we are looking at having to pay whatever taxes are owed as well as any penalties. I was just trying to get him to sell the house and pay me support during this time and the taxes was just another thing he wasn't doing. I "should" be done with him after this but I probably am not. I am waiting for him to file that he cannot pay the alimony or something like that. He is supposed to pay me until 2030 but I cannot imagine he will pay for all that time. Since the actual divorce decree has has paid alimony every week on time but that will probably be his next thing. When we got word that he was "considering his options" my lawyer sent back that the divorce decree has been affirmed as well as his appeal with the state's Supreme Court and that we will be filing a contempt charge by next week seeking all costs, etc. I have been down that road before ... my experience has been that the court just splits things down the middle. Considering he has already spent over $100K on 4 different lawyers he seems to be willing to keep throwing money at this. I've looked into harassment charges but it seems like he has the right to keep doing this stuff. It's his right to use the courts. I just wish a judge would catch onto what he is doing. I do have a "friendly local assassin" haha! I work with a huge, intimidating looking guy (think Mr. T) who also works as a Constable on the side. He is the one I always choose to serve my Ex any papers. Maybe I should "activate the asset" haha 😁
  12. I asked my accountant about Married Filing Separately but because we were living apart during 2017 & 2018 I would have to claim the alimony payments.
  13. Thank you for your virtual support. I always worry the people in my life are sick of hearing about my dance with the devil.
  14. IDK who remembers my never-ending divorce (5 years, every slimy move he could make .... good times....🙄). We finally got our judgement of divorce in December 2019. Part of the divorce agreement was that we would file taxes as "married" for 2017 & 2018. He then stayed true to form and APPEALED the divorce agreement. No one does that! Then again, no one appeals a temporary support order either, but he did that. He wanted to file taxes for those years as "single" so he could claim the deduction of alimony payments and make me claim the alimony and pay more in taxes. We literally had to go to our state's Supreme Court for the appeal. He lost the appeal. I had my lawyer send his lawyer a letter saying that he already has my tax paperwork but if he needs something else from me to make this happen to let us know. Crickets ...... no response. Finally we get a response from his attorney saying "My client is considering his options and will be in touch soon." WHAT?! What does that even mean? So now I will probably have to bring him to court for contempt again. I already checked with my attorney and if I try to file single for those years I will have to claim the alimony and I will get buried in taxes. Remember, this is the guy who WANTED the divorce, who had the affair, who makes over $250K a year, not including bonuses of $100k a year. I got a decent settlement but certainly no windfall. I still work full time to make ends meet. I cannot recover from financial hits as quickly as he can. I seriously do not know if I will ever be rid of him.
  15. At work today a few of the ladies were talking about their weekend plans for the 4th. It is supposed to be a very rainy weekend so everyone is adapting their plans but they are still making plans. Parades, road races, cookouts, etc. When they were all talking about their plans one woman said to me "Tell me you have at least one activity planned!" I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it just made me feel ...... lame. I am looking forward to a LOT of quiet time. I live in a tourist town so it would be easy for me to go downtown and join in some festivities, and I may do that, but then again I may not. Chances are I won't. I plan on resting, reading, working on my crafts, watching movies, etc. I am actually happy the weather will be yucky for a few days. The weather may clear on Monday and Tuesday (which I have off) so I may go to the beach. But that's it. I don't have a big family, I don't have a large circle of friends, and I am good with that. I know, I know, comparison is the death of contentment. I just hate feeling like I should be doing the normal things that everyone else does!
  16. First, hugs to you. I just finished a divorce that dragged on for 4 years. Even now my ex is filing an appeal to our divorce decree. The crying will stop. I remember just sobbing for so long. It was the hardest I have ever cried. But you will stop crying. Everyone here has great advice. I know it is hard right now to think of doing all these things (bank accounts, moving around money, pulling credit reports) when it is hard to even stand up. Try to do what you can. Do not think that by doing nothing you will be appeasing your husband. He has his own plans. Hugs
  17. One time we had friends over who had just come back from a cruise. They were talking about how they took a banana boat ride off the back of a boat. Before I could stop my mouth, I said "off the back of the cruise ship?!" I was so embarrassed! Imagine being towed on an inflatable banana behind a cruise ship!
  18. I will start by saying I am pro-police. My nephew is a police officer. I am NOT pro violence or pro racist or anything like that. There are a lot of bad, very bad cops out there that should be fired. But there are a LOT of really good cops. I saw the video below once, and I think it makes a good point of putting yourself in the shoes of an officer and what it takes to make split second decisions. The title says what it is: "Activist critical of police undergoes use of force scenarios" -- I think it always comes down to this .... walk a mile in someone's shoes (whether it is a police officer or a young black man being a victim of racial profiling) before casting stones. I read a case where a criminal had stolen a taser off of a police officer and was running away. The officer shot him. People were outraged, and said things like "They knew where the criminal lived -- why didn't they just go to his house and get the taser back?!" It's mentality like this that makes me shake my head. You just don't know how you would react or what you would feel until you are the person in the situation. It's a very eye opening video. It shows how quickly things escalate.
  19. Ahhh the days of travel teams ..... My daughter played both travel soccer and travel softball, eventually giving up soccer for softball. Just a few pointers from my day ... be wary of clubs that have A, B and C teams. You pay the same amount, but the A team (and sometimes the B team) get the good coaches, the good practices and the attention of the leaders of the club. The other teams are, I think, there to bring in money while having a parent coach over a real coach. It was not a good experience for us. The good coaches are either tied up with the A team, or are working with the Seniors to try and get them scouts and scholarships. If your child is on the B or C team you may never even see a real coach. Also, some of the club teams can be very hard to get into, and not just due to player's abilities. Once my daughter was on the club softball team, tryouts were just a lot of show. I remember one mother complaining that they even held tryouts because all the same girls get picked and she was right. I knew that my daughter was on the team before tryouts even started. Like anything else, it starts from the top down. We had a great experience with softball, but I do think that a lot of it had to do with the fact that my daughter was on the A team. Better practices, better weekend trips, and believe me, all the kids know who is on what team. The kids on the C team can be really shuttled off to the side and the other kids know it.
  20. My daughters are the ones who requested family counseling. We need to go over past hurts and set guidelines for future interaction.
  21. Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I always find advice that helps or clarifies. I guess my frustration comes from the pushback they do give. I tried to talk with them via Skype on Sunday but they were so angry it did not go well. They can be cruel, but I know that is from hurt. I am trying to set up family counseling to help us learn how to communicate better.
  22. My two daughters are driving me crazy .... but more seriously they are breaking my heart. They are 24 and 27. They live together with two other girls in the city about an hour away. I've posted before about how they are "woke" and for some reason that is making everything a mine field! Below is just an example of how things get so derailed lately. My oldest daughter took a two week trip to California. Partly to visit friends and partly to go off on her own and explore. The pictures looked amazing and I could not wait to hear all about it. I texted them I would love to call and chat to catch up and hear about the trip. We were supposed to talk at 4:30. I call at 4:30. No answer. I text to say "answer your phone". I get a text back that says "Hold on a sec. Something came up." So I wait. 30 minutes goes by. Now they text and say "Sorry, something came up with DD2 -- everyone is ok" Of course now I start worrying. I text again "just tell me what is going on" -- this goes back and forth for a while. All the time they took to text things like "hold on" or "something came up" could be used to text the actual reason. Drama on top of drama. I finally find out that someone has been texting my DD2 pretending to be a someone else, a friend she had in college. They texted back and forth about a lot of things, and I guess some of the stuff was personal. I think they were talking about a guy DD2 likes and there was some sexual details that went back and forth. Of course this pretend person then spread the texts around. My DD2 was freaking out so bad she was throwing up. Everybody in the apartment was up in arms. I could sense the 4 of them just ramping this whole thing up. Don't get me wrong .... it's a lousy thing to have happen. But you know what? The same thing happened to her in 8th grade when someone stole her phone, pretended to be her and texted a bunch of guys with sexual advances. 8th grade and new to the school!!! She did NOT freak out anywhere near what she was doing now because I sat her down, told her that this person made a victim out of her but once she knew what was happening she no longer had to be a victim. When we found out the two girls who did it the only resolution I asked for was that DD2 could sit with the two girls and look them in the eye. She said to them "What you did to me was mean. It embarrassed me and it embarrassed you. I have never done anything disrespectful to you and I do not appreciate you seeking me out to disrespect me." I wanted my daughter to learn that you cannot control what mean people do, but you have a VOICE and a PATH to control the situation, confront it and then walk away. But none of this was getting through on text and they would not answer the phone. Then I get a call about 9:00 pm. They want the contact information for my nephew, their cousin, who is a police officer. He is not a police officer in their town. They wanted to get him involved. They contacted my other nephew for the information. It was like there was someone outside their window with a knife and they needed police intervention NOW. I tried to tell them to put out a message on social media saying "if you receive any weird texts it's not from me so ignore it", then to step away from social media for about 48 hours. Cut off the oxygen to the whole thing. It's literally a 2021 version of a prank phone call (I get it's a little more than that but the motivation from the bully is the same. Basically, don't give the pr*ck the satisfaction.) It is not my job as their mother to match their level of hysteria - that does not help anyone. Well, that was it. I was "denying them access to the one person that could help them." I am "minimizing her pain". Everything these days is about being a victim. I always say "you adjust your norm to who you hang around with" .... I think they people they are hanging around with coddle this concept of "I have been victimized! Justice must be done!" Everything is insulting, Every joke is prejudice, every slight is born from someone profiling you or discounting you because you are female, every male has "toxic masculinity". Where are the days when you would just say "Boy, that person is a real JERK so I am going to either tell him to go to hell or just walk away." Everything has to have some deep-seeded motivation that they then wear as a badge. "I have been minimized!!" So I have still not heard about the California trip, or how their jobs are going, or just a simple chat. Now it will be days and days of hurt feelings, demands to be acknowledged, crying about a safe space........ UGH!! Right now the plan is to talk (not text!) on Saturday. I am going to keep my original advice, try to stay cool, and stay my path. It will go badly though. I just want my normal, calm, stable relationship with my daughters back!
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