What does a typical day, or will a typical day, look like when you retire?

[Hannah]

Dh and I have been juggling our corporate careers and home life for 30 years. Twelve of mine were part-time work and part-time homeschooling with an au pair to help. Weekends were a whirlwind of competitive sports, chauffeuring the kids, errands, socializing, and squeezing in a bit of hobby time.  We live in a 3rd world country where having a cleaning service and gardener is common, so we need to spend little time on chores.  

Since last year, we are empty nesters. We see one or both of the kids most weekends and they're obviously more independent, but basically its more of the same with a bit more time for our hobbies and for (online) volunteering.

When the girls have completed their studies, we can retire,  Last night, we had discussion about how we'll fill those extra 50+ hours each week. It's a bit of a blank canvas, and we're curious to hear from those of you who have already taken the plunge into retirement. What does your daily routine look like? Or, for those on the brink like us, after you've ticked off the big bucket list items, what are your imaginings for a life without the responsibilities of children to care for and no more nine-to-five grind?

[popmom]

That’s exciting that you are getting close! This is a really good question.
 

My husband was really wanting to retire early for awhile—which would be wonderful, but I’d ask…well what are you going to do? He would blow me off. “Idk—I can’t think about that now. Why does it matter?” He’d actually get really agitated about it. For me it was a fun question to ponder. For him it was some sort of burden. I think we both figured out that his desire for early retirement might not be the panacea he thought it would be. He has been working hard to have a better work/life balance and reduce stress. He’s much happier. I still hope he can retire early, so I’m also curious to hear from others.
 

 

[Kassia]

6 hours ago, popmom said:

 

My husband was really wanting to retire early for awhile—which would be wonderful, but I’d ask…well what are you going to do? He would blow me off. “Idk—I can’t think about that now. Why does it matter?” He’d actually get really agitated about it. For me it was a fun question to ponder. For him it was some sort of burden. I think we both figured out that his desire for early retirement might not be the panacea he thought it would be. He has been working hard to have a better work/life balance and reduce stress. He’s much happier. I still hope he can retire early, so I’m also curious to hear from others.
 

 

My DH is retiring early at the end of the month.  He'll be 60 this year and planned on doing it earlier but it didn't happen for various reasons.  I've been a homemaker since having our first child 33 years ago.  He keeps asking ME what we're going to do when he retires and it kind of stresses me out.  I already have my own routine and am content with that.  I am worried that he has this fantasy vision of retirement that isn't going to happen.  The first week of retirement he has a root canal and then a biopsy, so it's not going to be fun but after that...it will be interesting, for sure.  He has tons to do around the house but I don't know that's what he was hoping for.  I think he feels like he's going to wake up the first day he's retired and life will be completely different.  He's been working since he was a kid (paper route) and doesn't know life without a job.  

Edited January 11 by Kassia

[Faith-manor]

I lost my fine arts job during covid when the foundation lost a lot of money and couldn't do their typical fundraisers. I have not pursued another job since then. I have a lot of things I do now for my 87 year old mother in law.

My days have been busy with all kinds of things one pursuit was to finish the requirements for my general sciences certification. I had missed that minor in college by one class since I had a double major I was pursuing. I did this because science teachers are very hard to find in the public school, and so IF I wanted to go into teaching for income and health benefits, there is a fast track option to licensing. Getting that one class makes me eligible to teach biology, chem, physics, life science, etc. Then for personal enrichment, I have been taking aerospace engineering courses. I am not degree seeking so some have been for credit, and some have been for audit. If I were younger, I would be pursuing the actual B.S. degree since aerospace and rocketry had become a life passion.

As my mom's driving more than 20 miles from home has slowed down, I also do some driving for her, and since the lawn company that took care of her lawn and mil's as well closed, I am back to caring for three lawns. I also took up gardening.

I am a volunteer tutor one afternoon a week at the township library, and have five students. Two elementary students receiving reading help, an 8th grade algebra 1 student, a high school chemistry student, and a college music theory student. I have fun balancing all of those topics simultaneously for two hours, and I love it! The college student is very dear to me because if she is waiting for me to answer a question for her while I am answering a question for the others, she will let a reading student read aloud to her and correct them. She will make a wonderful teacher some day IF the system doesn't burn her out in the first five years. Michigan has a hard time NOT driving off new teachers rather rapidly.

I am quilting again, gardening, and doing some performing and accompanying. Many of the personal pursuits that were abandoned during the long years of child rearing and homeschooling, juggling three kids in college at once and going to their schools for the activities and performances they participated in, etc. are back and making me happy.

Mark had not retired yet, but we are traveling more together, and he plans to have a cabinetry/woodworking business on the side when he retires. He does gorgeous work so I am sure it will keep him busy. We are also building and launching rockets together, and we are part of the crew of 115 NAR members who run the American Rocketry Challenge competition. This year that competition has over 900 teams and over 5000 students involved. We travel to Virginia each May to run the National Finals.

We also have three grandsons now and regularly travel to spend time with them.

Mark's day is still regimented, but mine is not. When I do not have medical appointments to run the mothers to, I tend to then have a planner filled with project deadlines, and my days are spent working towards those goals like a Chopin Ballad that I am memorizing which means lots of practice, two throw quilts being set together, and now that I have a collection of fabrics for making some mix and match summer clothes, I have deadlines for when I want those garments complete.

Oh, also Mark and I have taken up sailing and kayaking together. These two things keep us busy on the weekends throughout the water sports season.

[Bambam]

My DH has talked about retiring plenty. However, I am afraid he would stay home in his home office and never leave the house except for church and garage sales. He did take some welding classes and has invested in a LOT of scrap metal so he has materials for whatever he decides to make with his welding machine  - but seriously, there isn't a lot of useful stuff that he can make here (or that he has found yet!). I suspect he will once again decide to help me be more efficient (he rearranged my kitchen one Saturday when I was gone), which will need to some conflict.  He is not interested in traveling at all - even to visit an adult child 1 hour away, I have to bribe him with a garage/estate sale/thrift shop visit (usually more than one) to get him to go. So, he is going to stay home, putter in his garage (welding, some woodworking stuff, rearranging and rearranging), probably do some gardening, read books, watch youtube videos. 

I find a lot of my time is spent helping others - taking MIL and other older ladies to medical appointments, shopping for them, visiting, etc. I'm glad to help out and have met some really interesting older ladies who have great stories to tell. I finally have time to read more (so hard before!) and can work on my flower beds (we have too many!). I've been thinking I would like to start some sort of handicraft but haven't seen one that I like.  

We feed the birds, we keep the birdbath clean, we watch the birds, we put out the heated bird bath when it gets cold (rare here, but we will have a week it needs to go out starting this weekend).  When the weather was nicer and I had more time, I would select different city parks to go walk around at. When DH retired, I might see if I can enlist him in this too - and maybe include some semi-local state parks. 

And quite frankly, part of the time is spent either trying to reduce the amount of stuff or just staring at it trying to figure out what to do about it. 

[SKL]

Really good question.  I have a vision of my whole week being filled even without work, but I don't know how the reality will play out.  (I'm 57 and have been working full-time [or more] since my graduation.)

I'm a partner in a small business - the youngest partner by about 6 years.  Our current retirement plan is to let our current projects play out and not take on anything new.  Theoretically, this will have me working a relatively light workload in my 60s, most likely ending without drama before I'm 70.  This could change if either of my kids decides to take over any parts of the business.  I kinda hope they follow their own glorious paths.  😛

Maybe I'll get back into some things I had to quit when I became a mom.  At that time, I was an officer on 4 or 5 nonprofit boards, usually their treasurer and/or secretary.  The only one I'm still on is the one I co-founded decades ago, but it's relatively inactive.  I could reignite that flame or join another organization or two.  I'd also like to restart self-study in areas such as music, foreign languages, world religions, and maybe more.

I guess ideally, I see myself doing something like this:

• Sleeping as much as I want!
• Keeping my house and car neat/clean/decluttered and well maintained.
• Yoga, walking/hiking in nature, possibly swimming, TKD or Tai Chi or similar.  Some social, some individual.
• Health and self care appointments.
• Managing my retirement income / my kids' inheritance.  Keeping files etc. up to date and ready to transfer at the end.
• Go to the library and museums, attend live shows.
• Attend church and/or other organized gathering place.  Consider joining some of their social or volunteer activities for old folks.
• Read, study languages.
• Learn how to play the guitar; resume piano playing for fun; maybe take up the violin again ....
• Will I take up writing again?  Poetry?  Drawing / watercolor painting?  Needlecrafts?  Learn to cook some fun things?
• Some selection of volunteer work - national park grounds, dog shelter, charitable boards, reading with kids, ????
• If my folks are still around (I hope so!), visit with them and help them with stuff.
• Spend time with my sibs and kids and maybe grandkids ....
• Watch old black & white movies ... and K-dramas!
• As health allows, travel to new places.
• If not already done, compile a photo history of our past travels for my kids.
• Tend plants.  Will I have a pet?  Maybe, if it's very low maintenance and hardy.

I could honestly see the above taking up all my time without much boredom in between, provided my health allows all of it.

Edited January 11 by SKL

[Faith-manor]

Adding to this discussion, my mother just turned 80. She sews pillowcases, hats and scarves, and blankets for a homeless shelter, makes clothing for some kids in her church, tutors reading at the library, volunteers at a food pantry. In the summer, she has flower beds and a vegetable garden. On Wednesdays, she has 2 tweens who come to her house to learn sewing and baking. Last Lent, she had a painting day, and had 8 kids to her house to paint wooden eggs.

She stays busy.

On the other hand, her sister and brother in law thought retirement meant doing nothing, and they literally did exactly that. Cooked meals, laundry, mowed the lawn, watched t.v., stared at the walls, and made each other crazy. They were miserable, but never changed their ways. My aunt passed away 7 years ago, and my uncle is still going store crazy. He refuses to get involved in anything. So moral of that story, do things, travel, get involved, try something new, do all the things if your health and mobility allow it.

[elegantlion]

Since I'll have to work much longer than I really want, my retirement plans are limited. 

• Sleep
• Read
• Public outreach in a couple of areas
• study languages
• regional travel
• hosting more get togethers
• catch up on tv shows & movies

[wendyroo]

My husband will probably be retiring shortly after our youngest graduates from college. Our dream is to sell our house, buy a fifth wheel, and travel the country. Our favorite kind of vacations, both before and after kids, are semi-rustic camping on the outskirts of a large city. We like to stay for 2-3 weeks at least so we can see and do a lot of things in the city without it feeling like a sprint or a marathon. We typically park and ride at the outermost transit stop and take the train into the city. One day we might spend most of an afternoon at a museum, the next take advantage of nice weather to bike or hike near where we are camping, and the next go back into the city to see a show.

We also hope to be more available to our kids as they live their adult lives. My parents typically came to stay with me for 4 or 5 days after I had a baby or had surgery, but I would prefer to be able to stay near my kids to help out for weeks or months without being an imposition. I imagine being able to spend a couple hours at their house as often as they wanted, supporting them however is helpful, and then getting out of their hair. I could see taking older children on outings or bringing them for a sleepover with us to give their parents a break.

[Carol in Cal.]

I expect to do things in bursts rather than steadily.  IE help with 2 weeks of VBS or a volunteer stint sprucing up a summer camp facility for a week or two, but not anything like tutoring weekly year round.  

I expect to have bursts of creativity and creation, bursts of helping people, bursts of caring for my grandnieces/nephews for respite reasons, bursts of decluttering, bursts of church work/personal assistance, and bursts of travel (once annually to a place I have never been before.).  I also expect to expand exercise/activity levels and personal reading.

[wintermom]

I'm still in the contemplating/dreaming phase of retirement. I know that I'll need to have enough brain and body stimulating activities to keep me satisfied, and so will my dh. We both enjoy social activities as well. Happily, many of the physical and social activities that we current do are perfect for continuing for the next 10-20 years. The trickier bit will be how much mental stimulation do I need, and how will I be able to maintain this without outside structure, such as work. I tend to get a little lazy if left completely on my own, so I know that I'll need some outside accountability, even if it's just a regular exercise buddy. I did a lot of volunteering while homeschooling my dc, but cut back when I went back to full-time work. I imagine I'll enjoy rekindling volunteer activities in things like local theatre, horticulture, church, etc.

Things I'm doing now that I'll keep doing for as long as possible are:

- Playing tennis

- Daily walks with the dogs at a nearby woods with other dog walkers to meet up with

- Regular walks with a group of friends

- Occassional travel to visit family and friends

- Providing support to my dc by providing a homebase to live and/or visit, etc.

 

[Beth S]

We've been Empty Nesters for 3 1/2 years, & my dh has been retired for 3 months, at age 63.
Yes, we waited until our youngest was clearly going to graduate (this May).

We love it all.

We did set up a basic morning routine, & have scheduled exercise and mealtimes.
I am a long time Library Board Volunteer.
Please find an interesting charity or community activity or needy/receptive individual who you can invest in.

But mainly, we're doing house projects, decluttering and cleaning, with the goal to downsize & move to the city where all our kids live.

I always teased my kids not to complain of being "bored", or I'd give them some chores to do.
We've never been bored!
It's really fun and easy to have mental & physical MARGIN to sort old photos, practice the piano, figure out what toys to save for the grandkids, etc.   We're ebaying some of the surplus, and creatively thinking about our future.

I highly recommend it!

[Tina]

My fear has been that dh, who has no hobbies and is a workaholic, is either going to sit in the living room watching tv, relegating me to one of the bedrooms or the kitchen since I don't like most of his show choices, or try to micromanage me. Not sure what he will do in the office he's creating for himself or in his garage, which he's emptying into mine. 🫢  He does enjoy going on the church mission trip helping rebuild homes annually. Besides doing some traveling, not sure what he will do.  We currently watch tv together, eat out with some good friends, or have friends or the kids over to play cards or games.  And we usually watch the grandsons one evening a week.  We used to go play cards with my folks every weekend.

Me- I have hobbies I want to get to: quilting, embroidery, gardening, learning homeopathy and herbal medicine, watching old black and white movies.   I am semi-retired, working my own hours but still some at the shop part of work days, but it's still not the same as being able to plan whole days without work.  Looking forward to it!  I'm currently starting to get back to making a loose menu and cooking suppers.  We've eaten out an awful lot as business owners together.

My younger sisters retired over a year ago after Mom and Dad passed.  That was an intense summer for us with their caretaking til the end.

Edited January 12 by Tina

[Beth S]

P.S.  This may be a rabbit trail, but helpful for those who are considering retirement.

A helpful tool has been to watch youtubes or read blogs about retirement (& personal finance) issues. 
I watch Joe Kuhn, Holy Schmidt, Retirement Transformed . . . and soon your youtube side bar will be filled with recommendations!
They bring up the typical downfalls, so you can anticipate them.

I also heartily recommend learning about Medicare, ACA, Social Security, IRA, and other related issues.
They all have very specific rules, but also nice perks if you qualify.

We chose to retire a little early, but will need to watch our spending until Social Security kicks in.

And honestly, LIFE always has ups & downs, hard times and smooth times . . . whether you're retired or not!

[Hannah]

Thank you for the helpful and interesting replies. Please do keep them coming!

[Melissa in Australia]

My DH had forced retirement due to a workplace accident. 

We spend all out time caring for twins, former  foster kids with disabilities . It is beyond a full time job. 

He will be in his 70s when the twins are adults.

[bookbard]

My parents are in their late 70s and still work all day on the farm. They don't do all the actual activities they used to, though - they have outsourced some of the more physically taxing activities. But they are still out doing weeding, picking, spraying and sorting and packing for market. I cannot imagine that will ever stop - they'll die on the place one day or at least get so unwell that they head straight for the old people's home.

The job I'm doing now I inherited from an 85 yr old, who spends her time now with various grandchildren and quilting. She's still pretty fit. I could easily stay in it till I drop, too - at least part-time. 

[Hannah]

1 hour ago, Melissa in Australia said:

My DH had forced retirement due to a workplace accident. 

We spend all out time caring for twins, former  foster kids with disabilities . It is beyond a full time job. 

He will be in his 70s when the twins are adults.

I've read your story over the years Melissa.  It has been a tough journey and I have the utmost respect and admiration for the compassion and dedication with which you care for your twins. 

[kathyl]

nm

Edited May 30 by kathyl

[Kassia]

@kathyl are we married to the same man?  😉  My DH is about to retire and I know he is going to ask what we're going to do all the time.  He's already hinting at it.  And I desperately want to declutter but DH makes it so hard.  I've found that I'm better off not moving anything because if I take stuff out to toss/donate/sell, he starts going through it and it winds up a bigger mess than it started.  So frustrating.  I adore him, but he's definitely not perfect - lol.  

[kathyl]

1 minute ago, Kassia said:

@kathyl are we married to the same man?  😉  My DH is about to retire and I know he is going to ask what we're going to do all the time.  He's already hinting at it.  And I desperately want to declutter but DH makes it so hard.  I've found that I'm better off not moving anything because if I take stuff out to toss/donate/sell, he starts going through it and it winds up a bigger mess than it started.  So frustrating.  I adore him, but he's definitely not perfect - lol.  

Well, at least you still adore him.   😜

[regentrude]

@kathyl"And, yes, he keeps asking ME what we're going to "do today".  At least once, every day.  Every morning ... right after he asks me how I slept last night.   Argh!!   "

 

Isn't that a normal thing couples do? We talk about the day ahead each day, and what's going on, and when we're not working (summer, weekend),  we discuss "what we're going to do today" (or more likely, what  we're going to do *tomorrow*, so we can get an early start.) 

[kathyl]

nm

Edited May 30 by kathyl

[Ottakee]

For guys looking for something to do (ladies too) there is a local group of handyman/contractors who are all retired and use their talents to do minor home repairs, build wheelchair ramps, etc for disabled and lower income for the price of the materials.   It is a wonderful ministry and the guys work a few days a week and all seem to love it.

[lynn]

i told.dh he cant retire until he has a hobby.  We now have our own hobbies and some days are ordinary doing our own thing.    We do run errands and go to lunch a couple times a week.  We take day trips on the motorcycle or find trails to go trail riding in when the weather permits.  We like to hike and go to local national.parks. we visit the grandbabies.   We go to the beach a couple times a year.  Its nice not to have to work around a school.schedule.   we are planning some bigger trips and are currently booking for a camper  and do more traveling.

[katilac]

1 hour ago, kathyl said:

Yes, it probably is for plenty of people.  But his questions are more along the lines of wanting me to entertain him.   

I usually respond by asking him what he WANTS to do today.  He never knows.  I ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me, etc.  He says 'No'.  At some point I give up and just go about my usual routine.  

I would have to just go ahead and make the man a schedule 😄

[Bootsie]

DH is retired; I am not.  Retirement for him has looked different than we expected for several reasons. We have not traveled as much as we expected, mainly because of COVID.  He thought he would play a great deal of golf during retirement, but has not, partly because of knee problems and a couple of surgeries.  DH is seriously working on a novel; that is a big change for him.  He has started on a major project of organizing and digitizing all of our family pictures at least four times.  He thought he would do some consulting or adjunct teaching in retirement, but has turned down most of the opportunities that have come his way.

We have never led a structured, routine lifestyle.  As college professors our scheduled changed from semester-to-semester, sometimes with night classes, sometimes with weekend classes, etc. There never seems to be a "typical day" in our house.  Although I am still working full-time, I have significantly cut back on a lot of the extra workk responisbiltiies I have taken on in the past; I have stopped teaching any summer courses  I enjoy my work and don't know how long it will be before I retire.  I enjoy an adult ballet class, playing duplicate bridge, cooking, gardening, and I am learning how to quilt.  I do not think I will have any trouble filling my time when I do retire. 

[Pawz4me]

We're probably a bit different, since both of us deal with chronic or serious illnesses, so a good bit of our daily life is affected by that. We both still feel reasonably well, but doctor visits and tests take up a significant amount of our time. Between medical appointments, helping the elder in our lives (we lost a full day earlier this week with that), and attending to things that always need doing (grocery shopping, other routine errands, car maintenance, etc.) it really doesn't seem that we have much empty time to fill. Yesterday DH had an appointment and a  couple of errands. While he was gone I tidied up a bit, did a load of laundry, picked up some yard debris from Tuesday's storm. We ate a rather hurried lunch before the bug man came to do his periodic thing, then we worked on turning a tote into a shelter for a very skittish stray cat that's been living under our storage shed. And by the time we got that done it was time to fix dinner. And that's how most days seem to go--w/o much effort they're filled up. I think the main difference is we don't have to rush, we have pockets of time to sit down and take a breather. We're up this morning getting ready for the HVAC man to come do the semi-annual maintenance, then I've got to pick up some groceries. DH has started working on the taxes, so he may dive into that while I'm shopping. Next week has enough appointments (medical and other things) that we'll just have those small pockets of time in between those and keeping up with the household stuff.

And so it goes, and the days go by, often much quicker than we'd like.

[marbel]

13 hours ago, regentrude said:

@kathyl"And, yes, he keeps asking ME what we're going to "do today".  At least once, every day.  Every morning ... right after he asks me how I slept last night.   Argh!!   "

 

Isn't that a normal thing couples do? We talk about the day ahead each day, and what's going on, and when we're not working (summer, weekend),  we discuss "what we're going to do today" (or more likely, what  we're going to do *tomorrow*, so we can get an early start.) 

 

13 hours ago, kathyl said:

Yes, it probably is for plenty of people.  But his questions are more along the lines of wanting me to entertain him.   

I usually respond by asking him what he WANTS to do today.  He never knows.  I ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me, etc.  He says 'No'.  At some point I give up and just go about my usual routine.  

I think there is a big difference between a working (one or both) couple who spend a lot of time doing separate things, and a retired couple in which one does not have any individual activities and thus expects the other person to lead the way on activities. 

I am retired; my husband is not, and I can see having the same dynamic as @kathyl. Though my husband does have lots of interests and there is no shortage of work to be done on this house, he doesn't like to do things alone. (For example, I'll go walking/hiking alone, but if he's free and I'm not, he won't do that.) 

As for our joint retirement years, I don't think we'll have the funds for the extensive travel we dreamed about when we were younger. I can see a lot of gardening, walking/hiking in local parks, maybe short trips now and then. We both have stacks and stacks of books we'd like to read. I'd like to set up a sewing room/area and get back into that, but there is some big decluttering to do (along with getting one launched child to remove a lot off stuff from their room!). Ideally he'd turn the garage into a workshop (he has a table saw he hasn't room to set up) but cleaning out the garage is a daunting task. 😱

[Tina]

My dad was 11 years older than mom, and he was one who expected her to watch tv with him or entertain him.  They played cards daily, and he couldn't eat a meal without her fixing it.  They kept a jigsaw puzzle going all the time, and he did Sudoku puzzles and read the paper daily.  She did gardening, reading, and took care of all the household tasks, and spent many nights doing her quilting in the basement when he went to bed early.

 

[mum]

9 hours ago, Tina said:

My dad was 11 years older than mom, and he was one who expected her to watch tv with him or entertain him.  They played cards daily, and he couldn't eat a meal without her fixing it.  They kept a jigsaw puzzle going all the time, and he did Sudoku puzzles and read the paper daily.  She did gardening, reading, and took care of all the household tasks, and spent many nights doing her quilting in the basement when he went to bed early.

 

My grandparents were like this. And to a lesser extent, my parents. My mother deals with all the household tasks. They are both 77. But my dad does still work 3/4 time. 

I'm 50 and dh is 55. I'm already 'teaching' him in preparation for retirement. He witnessed his parents do same as yours. His dad needed direction to do anything, his mother did all cooking, cleaning, household tasks. My husband now does part of the cleaning, he goes grocery shopping, has learned how to cook some meals, he does laundry when needed, etc. Not exactly the modern man, but light years better than his dad was. When he retires it's going to be 50/50 on all cooking/household tasks, unless he's working at some other paid position.

I'm not really retired, but our kids are grown and independent out of the house, and I work very part time. My days are really varied, but every week contains food shopping, cooking from scratch, line drying laundry, working in my food garden, volunteering as Master Gardener at a community garden, checking in with my kids, once a month travelling to see my grandson, sewing clothes or cloth napkins or other needed household items (curtains, etc) and occasionally sewing items to sell. I do a tiny bit of paid writing and I sell a bit on ebay. I walk and exercise daily, meet friends for walk or kayak or garden event, do canning. It's quite good other than the fact that at 50 I feel I 'should' be doing paid work, but I've got a couple chronic illnesses that make that very hard. I've always said I'm better at saving money (through sometimes extreme frugality) than I am at making money. But it fits with my illnesses and so maybe it's what I'm meant to be doing. 

My husband plays pickleball and golf. I can see him doing more pickleball (free except for paddle) and a tiny bit more golf, but not too much, since it costs. He says he will volunteer, and I fully expect he will. He will also substitute teach occasionally for fun money (he's a teacher now). We may grow a bigger garden when he retires and has more time to help.

[mum]

The school nurse where I sub is a man in his 60's. He was a contractor until he had a serious back injury. He had always gone on mission trips to build schools or orphanages and was the first aid person on those trips. So when he hurt his back in his 50's some of his friends suggested becoming a nurse. He does a great job as a school nurse and loves it. I'd like to have vision for something for myself but I just don't. 

[JustEm]

We've talked a bit about this even though retirement is far off. We want to do more of what we already enjoy doing on a regular basis. We like working out regularly, writing, reading, playing boardgames, creating and hosting murder mysteries, traveling a yearly, and spending more time together.

Truth is, dh and I would spend 90% of our time together if we could. We are best friends that work really well together. So, our days will be spent together, like they are now if dh isn't working. We like being present in the same room even when we're both doing separate things.

Dh has also promised to be my ghost writer for my book I have in mind. I've got the vision and he has the words.

[Laura Corin]

Husband is retired and I am not. He does almost all the shopping and clothes washing. He does a lot of the cleaning, but there are things that I do because they are hard on his back or he would never get to them, e.g. cleaning skirting boards and dusting. We each cook about 50 percent of the time.

He walks a couple of miles every day, swims and rides his bike once or twice a week, and has just started a weekly strength class.

He's a retired fund manager, so he spends a fair bit of time each day looking at our finances  - more time than he actually needs to, he says.

I expect to retire in around four and a half years. If I have my health, I expect to walk 3-8 miles daily,  take one or two yoga classes, hike once a week with Husband and swim a couple of times a week. I would like to volunteer half a day each week. I will do some work in the garden. I love studying,  so I am likely to continue taking at least one university module a year.

Husband and I would like to spend extended periods in other countries - maybe house/pet sitting. We are most interested in Italy, Spain and Portugal. I imagine that we would also continue doing the other things we enjoy - exhibitions,  concerts and visits to historical sites.

Neither child is close to being settled or having children,  but that could change our plans.

Edited January 13 by Laura Corin

[Scarlett]

I will be spending mine running through fields of flowers in a loose dress with my hair flowing freely behind me.  

[Eos]

It seems unlikely that we will be able to willingly retire, I think it will come about when one of us has a catastrophic health problem and the other becomes a caretaker.

That said, if I had my dream and money to back it up, I would travel and go on very long walks through wild and peaceful areas, ideally climb mountains, maybe without dh.  His dream is finishing a cabin he's working on and canoeing and fishing and quilting by gaslight. Maybe without me.

[Ottakee]

I can do an early retirement in 6 1/2 years.  Unless there are big financial changes, I plan to do just that.

I will likely continue to work part time…as a substitute teacher for the program I work for now.   I love my job, I just want a bit more flexibility in my schedule to do things with my bonus grandsons and travel off season.

Likely I could sub almost full time, just taking time off when I want it like our current young retiree subs do.   They love 💕 it.

if I am not subbing, I would do volunteer work. I would continue hiking, and helping out Family. My life wouldn’t look a lot different than what I am doing now just with more flexibility.

[Carrie12345]

I had one vision for retirement, but now that I’m looking to graduate from college at 50 and probably still pursue a masters after that, 🤷‍♀️.

We’re already a volunteer family with a gabillion hours on top of regular life. I absolutely see that continuing and, for me, expanding. We’re not that into big traveling, but would probably take some small trips just for the heck of it. I hope to have an awesome garden. I can absolutely see myself batch cooking to fill my kids’ freezers. If there are grandkids, as much time with them as possible.

My mom turned 70 last year and was supposed to retire. She finally switched to part time last week. She loves what she does.

I’d like to transition my education and likely short career into self-directed research/writing and advocacy.

Really, health-willing, I expect it to look a lot like now, but with more flexibility.

[lynn]

I forgot to add the best part of retirement is the slow, relaxing mornings.  I really enjoy having coffee on the back porch with dh.   I feel we've earned this time after 25years of him going off to work and me getting kids off to school its nice to have our time.  

[Lady Florida.]

I'll give a description of our days in another post. I wanted to keep the quoted posts separate from it.

On 1/11/2024 at 6:10 PM, kathyl said:

 

And, yes, he keeps asking ME what we're going to "do today".  At least once, every day.  Every morning ... right after he asks me how I slept last night.   Argh!!   

 

Dh is finally not doing this every day. Some days he still does but at first it was every single morning. Argh!

On 1/11/2024 at 7:41 PM, Ottakee said:

For guys looking for something to do (ladies too) there is a local group of handyman/contractors who are all retired and use their talents to do minor home repairs, build wheelchair ramps, etc for disabled and lower income for the price of the materials.   It is a wonderful ministry and the guys work a few days a week and all seem to love it.

Our HOA has a group of handymen who do some things for neighbors as well as some general maintenance saving the HOA (aka all of us) some money. For liability purposes they aren't allowed to do anything major or anything that involves code but it keeps him busy while he's also helping elderly neighbors or those who don't know how to do some minor work.

 

1 hour ago, lynn said:

I forgot to add the best part of retirement is the slow, relaxing mornings.  I really enjoy having coffee on the back porch with dh.  

We do this too. It's quite nice.

[Lady Florida.]

Dh retired two years ago this month and I have to say it's taken him this long to get used to it. I stayed home when ds was born, fully intending to go back to work once he started school. Before he reached school age we decided to homeschool so I essentially retired from teaching when ds was a baby. I had a baby to take care of then a child to homeschool. As he got older and his schooling became more independent I started to find things to do. By the time he was high school age I had my own routine, hobbies, and outside interests. When dh retired he had... nothing. He went from working all his life to "What do I do with my days now?" We had downsized and moved to a brand new (newly built) house two years before his retirement so there are no household projects that need to be done. We live in an area where golf is big but neither of us like to golf. It took time for both him to figure out his days and for me to figure out what to do when he was here all the time. Two years in -

We've done some vacationing. We went on two cruises (just got back from cruising with a group of friends) and did a week long getaway in Savannah. We're planning a big month long trip to Scotland and England in May of this year. Aside from traveling we go to a lot of local festivals. It seems there's one a least once a month, sometimes more. We've done a strawberry festival, blueberry festival, two art festivals, a pirate festival (took dss and the grandkids to that one) and next weekend we're going to a key lime pie festival. We go to plays and musicals at local theaters. We hit up the farmers market a few times a month.

There isn't really a typical day. Each day looks different. The best thing is that unless one of us has an early appointment we can sleep until we wake up. We're not the early to bed type and usually get to sleep around midnight. We don't have to worry about getting enough sleep because we don't need and early alarm. 

On a normal day we have coffee on the porch and read for a bit or just talk. We might have various appointments (medical, hair, etc.). Sometimes we go grocery shopping together. We get free membership at a local gym with our Medicare insurance so we try to go there and workout 3x a week. Weather permitting we go for walks a few times a week in the evening. Sometimes we go for a bike ride. There are a lot of nature trails and wildlife refuges in our area and we like to walk those trails. 

I have more hobbies and things to keep me busy than dh does and I wish he'd find something he likes. It helps that he does minor maintenance in the neighborhood as I mentioned in my previous post. I still wish he'd find some hobby to do without me. For myself, I have a book club with homeschool moms I've been in since our kids were young. All the kids are adults now and we moms are still friends. I crochet. I garden - dh helps with this as he enjoys gardening too. I'm still playing around with and trying to learn to use my dslr camera NOT on auto mode. I was learning Italian but have slacked off and want to get back to it. 

I agree that it's important to look at finances and health insurance - Medicare especially for those in the US. We have a financial advisor we've been with for a number of years since well before dh retired. If you're good at and/or enjoy navigating the financial aspect yourself an advisor might not be necessary but do make sure you find out all you can regarding taxes on retirement income.

Also, while we are technically empty nesters in the sense that ds is grown, we're not physically empty nesters. He and his gf currently live with us. We do our own thing and they to theirs and sometimes we come together for dinner or to watch a movie. They both work so they aren't here most of the day. 

[Anne]

My dh has a hobby that takes a lot of time.  He has also been working on all the “honey do” projects that he never got around to all the years he was working.  I spend quite a bit of time with local grandchildren, some self-study things, am active in my church, exercising and walking outside daily.  Also working hard on peeling off another layer in the decluttering process around our house.  We also have out of state family to visit frequently, plus an out of state elder that needs more time and attention.

All that to say, we have a busy schedule but it’s fairly flexible which is nice.  Each of us has our own things we’re interested in, plus some shared interests.

Anne

[Halftime Hope]

On 1/11/2024 at 6:41 PM, Ottakee said:

For guys looking for something to do (ladies too) there is a local group of handyman/contractors who are all retired and use their talents to do minor home repairs, build wheelchair ramps, etc for disabled and lower income for the price of the materials.   It is a wonderful ministry and the guys work a few days a week and all seem to love it.

Does this group have a name? Any chance they are nationwide?

[SKL]

Thinking about how my folks are doing it ... they are 79 and 81 and have been retired for years.

My mom has had pretty serious health issues, so she can't do much physically.  That means my dad spends time helping her in various ways.  My dad also cooks and cleans and has pretty much taken over the laundry.  Dad has created a machining workshop over the years in the basement, which he uses to fix things, make new things, and just play around.  Dad also spends as much time as he wants on the internet, researching recent technology and stuff, enjoying old movies / radio shows, interacting with his extended family, etc.  He reads the daily paper and plays the piano by ear whenever he feels like it.  He takes walks to go buy groceries, send mail, or just be outside.  Injuries have interfered with things he'd like to do much of the time, but when the body is working well, he likes to ride a bike, go fishing with grandkids, etc.

My mom mostly sits in her room watching TV/movies, listening to audiobooks / radio shows, playing computer solitaire, and talking to her kids on the phone.  AFAIK my mom is still in charge of the household finances, and she's very interested in politics etc.  She never much liked going out of the house, so now with various health issues, it almost never happens, but my dad has been trying to work on her.  He got her to go to the optometrist after many years, and said his next project was to get her to go to the dentist.

Several of my siblings live close enough to visit the folks often.

My folks have never said they were bored, and I've never asked.

[Ottakee]

1 hour ago, Halftime Hope said:

Does this group have a name? Any chance they are nationwide?

I think it is solid rock ministry 

[SHP]

Husband is about 15 years out. I am, I am not sure. Will I enter the workforce and work while hubby is retired? I don't know. I do know the second I am old enough to take all the college classes for free, I will be a full time student. My retirement will look like an old person living the best college life with all my other old friends who are also counting down until they can take all the classes. Our kids think we are nuts but if you look at it logically, it makes sense. Student discounts for live venues are insanely cheap. One is $5 for a season! Another is $10/show. Gym membership through the school? Free! Personal training included! Access to all the state of the art technology. I can be the 68 year old in the advanced welding course. Maybe I will be the 72 year old motorcycle mechanic. Maybe both!

 

[KungFuPanda]

I’m having trouble imagining wanting to retire. I can’t imagine DH without some puzzle to solve for some company. I just got back into the workforce after being home for 25 years. My friends are counting down the days and I just can’t imagine feeling that way yet. 
 
My mother retired a few years ago from her state job. She took care of her 90 year old mother who lived with them. When Mamaw died, mom became a foster parent and went back to part tax accounting. She’s convinced work keeps her young and her mother was the same way. 
 

Right now I only work part time. I may reevaluate that in a year and transition to full time. I figure I have at least a good 15-20 years of work energy in me if I continue to be lucky with my health and energy level. DH and I just drove an hour to come home after babysitting my grandson for the evening. We really enjoy taking care of him. Sometimes we get sleepovers and we LOVE that. 

[Laura Corin]

7 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I’m having trouble imagining wanting to retire. I can’t imagine DH without some puzzle to solve for some company. I just got back into the workforce after being home for 25 years. My friends are counting down the days and I just can’t imagine feeling that way yet. 
 
My mother retired a few years ago from her state job. She took care of her 90 year old mother who lived with them. When Mamaw died, mom became a foster parent and went back to part tax accounting. She’s convinced work keeps her young and her mother was the same way. 
 

Right now I only work part time. I may reevaluate that in a year and transition to full time. I figure I have at least a good 15-20 years of work energy in me if I continue to be lucky with my health and energy level. DH and I just drove an hour to come home after babysitting my grandson for the evening. We really enjoy taking care of him. Sometimes we get sleepovers and we LOVE that. 

I went back to work at 47, transitioning to full time over the years and then recently going to 4 days a week.  I remember when I was 55 telling an older colleague that I would work forever. My husband's being older than I and also my incipient impatience with corporate rubbish have changed my mind now that I am close to 61.

Edited January 14 by Laura Corin
Typo

[regentrude]

6 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I’m having trouble imagining wanting to retire. I just got back into the workforce after being home for 25 years. 
 I figure I have at least a good 15-20 years of work energy in me if I continue to be lucky with my health and energy level.

I think that's a fundamentally different situation from a person who spent those 25 years working the same job and is suffering from burnout.

I have 20 years of energy in me, too, but I am sick of the continually increasing demands, the ridiculous time-wasting requirements that overshadow the actual part of my job that I like. 

When dh retires, he will finally be able to focus completely on his research, without committees, meetings, reports etc. He will get to do the *work* he loves, without the interference of the administrative tasks the *job* demands.

Edited January 14 by regentrude

[regentrude]

2 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

 I remember when I was 55 telling an older colleague that I would work forever. My husband's being older than I and also a my incipient impatience with corporate rubbish have changed my mind now that I am close to 61.

I remember that I thought I would never retire and that I would teach for free if they let me. That was ten years ago. 

Now I am sick of the rubbish, too. During the pandemic I had daily rage-quitting fantasies. It's slightly better now, but once DH retires, I will, too.