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About mum

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    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

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  1. My husband's work contract is not being renewed and we will have a few months with COBRA for medical. Is there anything I need to know? What should I be aware of, or careful about? Thank you!
  2. We had 2 graduate high school the same year and neither wanted to go to college. One was a great student and one was profoundly gifted. We listened to what they DID want to do, talked about what college would offer that would support those goals and also promised that if they went to college for 2 years they were welcome to take a gap year at that point, which we would pay for (they knew the budget so they knew that would be along the lines of volunteering in a country where we had friends that they could live with cheaply). They both went to college, and continued with regular grumbling. They required varying levels of support at various stages, one changed major 3 times, one didn’t declare a major till junior year. Both travelled in the summer, to friends in foreign countries who would keep them. That satisfied the need for adventure. At the end of 2 years, neither chose a gap year. Both had found their niche and chose to finish. One chose to go on for a masters (the one that was most resistant about college). All that to say, we listened a LOT, we gave a good deal of support in the first 2 years, they knew that we understood what they wanted, and they understood from us that in our opinion it was a big door to choose to close, that they would have the absolute freedom to do whatever they chose to after college, that discussion was always open, but that in our opinion college would give them the most choices in the long run. For our two, one is working in their major field and one is working in something completely different than major, but in a job that does require a degree. Both still say they did not love college but both will also say that they are where they are because of it.
  3. What the parent wants should be listened to and respected. Each gets to decide for themselves. I personally grew up in a country where legal drinking age was 18. In our own home and at grandparents, my under 21 children know that they may have a drink. My own personal opinion is that children should be taught to drink responsibly when they are still living at home. None of mine have lived at home after age 19, either they've lived in the dorm, or independently-they each have been very driven to be independent and self supporting but they know they will always have a home with us if they need or want it. So if we wanted to be the ones to model and instruct and participate in how to drink responsibly, it would have to be to our kids under 21. I feel like making drinking age 21 just encourages kids to sneak drinks. They are going to drink at whatever age, if they are set on having a drink. I think being able to drink openly is healthier. We do not have a history of alcoholism in our family. None of us drink more than 2 beers/wine a month, and about half of us don't drink at all, so it's not a huge part of our family culture
  4. Thank you all. I am helping out a new teacher and trying to gather some resources. Since my youngest is 19, it's been a while since I've done this level.
  5. I need some fairly all inclusive free resources for science and social studies. Also any free online resources for same age group. Interactive activities or videos especially. Thank you
  6. Here’s a few ideas from DS wedding two years ago. We borrowed table cloths from a friend who had recently married and bought the table cloths on Amazon for cheaper than she could rent them . She did not want payment to borrow them We borrowed miscellaneous candlesticks that another recently married friend had collected from thrift stores and spray-painted them silver. She offered them and did not want payment for the loan. We used these with candles and eucalyptus picked from nearby trees as the centerpieces, Along with scattered white flowers bought at Costco. They had a small cake to cut, made by family, and for dessert for everyone They had an ice cream sundae bar. This was a huge hit. They did not do favors, it seems the opinion of the age group that these are a waste of money and no one wants them anyway. Groomsmen and dad’s bought suits at Macy’s. Our daughter was the coordinator on the day, gathering people for pictures, putting food out at the right time, directing preparation, etc. we have good memories Of all of the cousins setting the tables the day before and decorating the day of. Everyone pitched in to set up tables And generally get the work done.
  7. I'm TRYING to catch up with life in general. I know that I should have water stored for emergencies, but I don't. Every time I look at storage containers, I'm shocked by the price. I need something space efficient, we are in a very small house. Does anyone know of a good price on quality containers? I want something that's good quality. Thanks!
  8. Pay for a lot of lessons. Don't drive him anywhere that he wants to go. Have him do the driving (obviously with a licensed adult). We live in a similar sounding town. My dd's only drove in town, and usually still with an adult in the car, for almost a year after they were licensed. They were nervous and I gave them the time they needed. Funnily enough, passing their test gave them a confidence boost, so even though they still didn't drive by themselves, they just had a more confident air about them.
  9. I ignore it. I have relatives who make some very racist comments. But they grew up in a time and place that I can totally understand why they think the way they think. I have to be sensitive to that. And at 82, they’re not going to change unless they want to. One relative grew up overseas in a country where schools were segregated by religion. She asked my dd if her school was mixed. The aunt was shocked when dd said yes. Dd then reflected that this truly was shocking for someone who had grown up knowing only segregation.
  10. Yes Gave it up 3 years ago and have been SUPER happy. We live 40 mins one way from shopping (except Walmart) and I thought it would be hard. I also had 3 students at the time. I thought I only ordered what I needed when we had prime, I’m pretty frugal and watch my spending closely. But I went on amazon recently to check a price and looked at my account. When I had prime I ordered 4-8 times per month. Now, I ordered 2 things in the past year! I think I’m doing without some of the things I used to think I needed. It makes me a lot more intentional about ordering things. I have a Target redcard which comes with free shipping and 5% off. That’s where I shop for some basics. Most of all I’m happy to be shopping at, and supporting, a variety of stores. I try very hard to buy all books used (thriftbooks is awesome and shipping is free on orders over $10)
  11. I love this thread. I am unashamedly frugal, or thrifty😀. We reuse tea bags, wash ziplocs not containing meat (though my first choices for storage are glass bowls or silicone sandwich bags), buy as much as possible used, use least amount of heat/A/C that we can stand. We planted shade trees to west of house, catch shower water in 5 gallon bucket to water outside plants with, leave the yellow to mellow (severe drought here), cook from scratch, use rags not paper towels, cloth napkins, raise a small garden, grow our own fruit. I’ve often said that I’m not very good at earning money, but I’m very good at saving it. 😊 In the past we did this because we needed to. Now it’s a way of life I’ve been reading this thread to see if I can pick up any tips!
  12. I second it all. My ferritin was low enough that I had IV iron infusions. It went up nicely after each one, but never stayed up. I didn't tolerate any iron supplement. Ferritin being high enough makes a significant improvement in my sleep. Many doctors don't even know to check ferritin. Now if I have blood work ordered for any reason, I always ask them to include ferritin level. It helps me keep track.
  13. I am looking for a life skills type program-nutrition, budgeting, meal planning, cooking, food safety, etc. Does anyone know of one, or has used one that they liked? I know a lot of this happens naturally at home, but this is for a co-op setting, to run as an elective class. Thank you!
  14. Thank you! Those are great ideas and have sparked a few more for me. I have usually done my shopping by Black Friday (not that I'm super efficient. I try to buy all through the year to spread the cost and use good deals when I find them) but this year I'm keeping a list of things to look for online. I did find 18oz hydro flasks at Costco yesterday for $20. This seems to be a good price. I got one for my mom.
  15. I am needing to get gifts for a few young people-an outdoorsy 13 year old boy, and a boy 23 and girl 21. I'd like them to be in the $10-$15 range. These are niece and nephews, but I have a LOT of them, so I have to keep the budget low. Individual food gifts don't work well, they all live at home (big family) and I'm not sure individual food gets kept for the owner. I'd really like a gift that I give every year, like a theme, but I haven't figured it out for the oldest ones, who live at home and therefore aren't needing/wanting to outfit a home. It's a lot easier to find something in that price range that thrills the little ones! Thank you!
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