S/O How do you feed your kids?

[Drama Llama]

I’m particularly interested in those of you who think the current US and Canadian guidelines to make 1/4 of your plate grains and other high carb foods should be lower, but I’d love to hear from everyone.

Across the whole day, what thoughts are in your mind as you think about what you serve your kids?  Do you include certain foods at certain meals? 

[maize]

Ummm...in my house more often than not it goes like this:

"Mom, I'm hungry..."

"There's food in the kitchen, go find it."

😁

I honestly don't have the bandwidth to think specifically about nutrition very often. I keep bread, peanut butter, cheese and fruit on hand most of the time, and kids are free to eat what they want. I do buy whole grain and organic (because of all the spraying that happens to non-organic grain) for bread. 

Lately we've been doing frozen pre-prepped instantpot/slow cooker entrees a lot for dinner, often with rice, potatoes or pasta and a vegetable; otherwise we do a lot of soups. And fend-for-yourself meals are common. I'm actually more likely to cook for breakfast than any other meal; since our chickens are laying well right now ('tis the season...) those tend towards egg-heavy.

Edited May 24, 2023 by maize

[Jean in Newcastle]

I provided a nutritious meal. I didn’t plate it for them past the toddler years or force them to have a certain portion of their plate be any macronutrient. Later when my dd was diagnosed with celiac disease I converted our kitchen into a gluten free zone but I still served non glutinous grains. As they got older and schedules got busier and more individual they were free to eat what I prepared or to cook something for themselves. Now that I am an empty nester I serve much fewer grains because both dh and I are diabetic and it’s just easier to manage our blood sugars that way. 

Edited May 24, 2023 by Jean in Newcastle

[Harriet Vane]

When my kids were still at home, we generally tried to include fruits and/or vegetables with every meal. At breakfast and lunch they usually chose what they would have, often an apple or grapes or something like that. At dinner, everyone ate a little of everything I prepared--a main dish of some sort of protein, plus a green vegetable and a starch (rice or potatoes) and almost always also a green salad. My son hates asparagus, so I didn't force him to eat that. Both kids were pretty chill about eating anything and everything.

[mommyoffive]

8 minutes ago, maize said:

Ummm...in my house more often than not it goes like this:

"Mom, I'm hungry..."

"There's food in the kitchen, go find it."

😁

I honestly don't have the bandwidth to think specifically about nutrition very often. I keep bread, peanut butter, cheese and fruit on hand most of the time, and kids are free to eat what they want. I do buy whole grain and organic (because of all the spraying that happens to non-organic grain) for bread. 

Lately we've been doing frozen pre-prepped instantpot/slow cooker entrees a lot for dinner, ofyen woth rice, potatoes or pasta and a vegetable; otherwise we do a lot of soups. And fend-for-yourself meals are common. I'm actually more likely to cook for breakfast than any other meal; since our chickens are laying well right now ('tis the season...) those tend towards egg-heavy.

 

Same. I mean the most of my thought is that they have a fruit and or vegetable every meal.  They will often have more than one.  We put a lot of healthy options around for them to pick from.  I lean more towards not putting a lot of pressure on what people are eating so hopefully they won't have issues.   My kids are all ballet dancers and there is a lot of talk/issues about how other kids they encounter are not eating or getting body shamed by others.  We really try to tell that that everyone needs to eat.  Food is fuel.  

 

[Selkie]

My kids are grown now, but we ate (and still do) loads of carbs - fruits, veggies, legumes, and whole grains.

Edited May 24, 2023 by Selkie

[KungFuPanda]

I’m completely comfortable with 1/4 grain, 1/4 protein, 1/2 veg or thereabouts. It doesn’t pan out that way at every meal, but I make 95% of our bread and I can’t stop. I also need a weekly pasta night just to keep this train rolling. 
 

ETA: is this me being an oblivious American? Is 1/4 grain over the top? My kids are grown so it may be too late. 

Edited May 24, 2023 by KungFuPanda

[wendyroo]

We are "fortunate" that Elliot has a severe wheat allergy, which really makes healthy eating "easier".

Gluten free specialty products are expensive, and having wheat products in the house risks cross-contamination, so it really limits us to mostly whole foods. I don't think 1/4 carbs is unreasonable for active, growing kids, but I do make sure they are mostly whole-grains and fruit/vegetable carbs.

At breakfast I aim for 1/2 fruit, 1/4 protein and 1/4 carbs (often oatmeal in some form). So a typical breakfast would be a couple types of fruit cut up, hard boiled eggs, and banana nut muffins made with oat flour.

Lunch is 1/4 fruit, 1/4 vegetable, 1/4 protein, and 1/4 carbs. So, perhaps, nachos with tortilla chips, cheese, peppers and corn, with sides of carrot sticks and mango.

Dinner is about 1/2 vegetables, 1/4 protein, and 1/4 carbs. Something like chicken stir-fry with broccoli, carrots, peppers, cauliflower, mushrooms, and asparagus (of which the kids can opt out of one), served over brown rice.

[alysee]

We serve fruits & veg at every snack or meal. They are free to eat it or go without. We also have easy things for them to eat between meals or snacks: cheese, trail mix, crackers, fruit. We eat a vegetarian diet so our diet is more carb heavy: but I also have celiac disease so we eat more rice/quinoa for lunch and reserve bread for breakfast when we don't always eat the same thing for that meal. We also eat beans, tofu, fruit, veg, nuts. 

[Shelydon]

I make food, they choose whether or not they eat it. At least two snacks a day to be fruit or vegetable based. Last night's meal was Greek chicken with couscous and a salad. They can have that for leftovers for lunch today or make themselves a sandwich

[SHP]

Meals are usually planned as a lean protien + vegetables or a salad. It's only when it is not hot that I cooked bread. I do not buy bread or other grains. 

[Faith-manor]

I called it growing food and required that they eat a serving of each, according to their age/size, but stayed low key because I did not want eating wars with the kids. I provided a lot of their favorites all the time while encouraging experimentation.

I also used to make a chicken, dumpling soup that they loved. I also made them leave the kitchen when I made it because what they didn't know was I would cook up a stock pot of carrots, celery, celery leaves, fresh herbs,  potatoes, green beans, peas, and red peppers, then blend it, add the chicken and dumplings. Little flecks of green and orange were called "spices". 😁 I made it every week, and they would just chug it down, and have it for leftovers at lunch the next day. Lots of veggies into my otherwise reluctant veggie eater, the eldest boy. I made lasagna with spinach, but shredded the spinach so fine I think he thought it was basil or oregano.

[Pawz4me]

Our kids are grown. But we never ever ever did battles over any food. Past the toddler stage everyone made their own choices. But in general--I'm a decades long mostly vegetarian (neither DH nor our kids are), so I always made plenty of grains, beans, veggies (including higher carb varieties) and fruits the mainstays of all meals.

[Faith-manor]

Also, my kids are long grown. But I have three little grand boys, and the two older ones are eating machines.

When I am in charge of them, I make them play outside a lot. I make up a big tray of carrot sticks, broccoli buds, celery with peanut butter and raisins on top, chopped fruits - many kinds - peanut butter crackers, and cheese sticks. I keep the fruit and veggie and cheese on top of a large pan of ice that I refill as needed so it stays fresh with a little netting over the top to keep the bugs out, and then a separate plate with the crackers which is also covered. I have to peek fairly often since I am still training those two to remember to pull the netting back over the tray after grabbing something. They graze on that all day. Since they have usually had oatmeal with berries or whole grain pancakes with eggs for breakfast, then I don't worry so much if they turn up their noses at roasted green beans or something like that at dinner. They do like my roasted Brussels sprouts because I let them get really crunchy on the edges, and dice them so there are no soft, chewy centers. They also love Mexican night when I make black beans and refried beans, and let them have corn chips to scoop up the seasoned beans. I figure for kids growing as rapidly as they are, the corn chips are okay. They use all those carbs up, and since they eat quinoa on Mediterranean/Middle Eastern night, I think I am doing pretty well with them.

Edited May 25, 2023 by Faith-manor
Typo

[Elizabeth86]

I keep healthy stuff. 3 of mine like fruit and veggies, but 1 of mine just doesn’t want to eat well. I’m not one to be strict about food because I know for sure this doesn’t work. Dh’s mom was strict and unkind about food and it caused issues.  I didn’t grow up eating overly healthy, but have learned to like healthy food as an adult. I offer healthy stuff. We also have plenty of not so healthy stuff. I focus more on keeping them active because that’s a lot easier for me. 

[Shoeless]

We do a LOT of fruit and veggies, but I have a 14yo boy who also eats an entire box of Kraft Mac and cheese every day. 

Half his dinner plate is veggies (carrots, cucumber, tomato, bell pepper, etc). The other half is protein and carbs, and he usually goes back for a second helping of carbs and veggies. 

[73349]

Food isn't merely calories or protein or carbohydrates or fats--any not-too-processed food is so much more complex than that. There's no point, IMO, in lumping sweet potatoes with lollipops, or black beans with bacon.

Breakfast here is fend-for-yourself, often last night's leftovers, though we will sometimes cook something ahead (like breakfast burritos) and freeze it.

In this season (DS is a teen), I'm emphasizing vegetables and legumes/pulses, since that's where my food-related upbringing fell short. In his culinary arts course next year, he'll learn to cook accordingly. He's always eaten plenty of fruit but also a fair amount of processed foods, including sweets. We've always eaten some meat, but only DH is attached to it. I knew before DS was 5 that he couldn't tolerate food coloring (headaches), and we had to go strictly gluten-free when he was 10. If I make bad choices in buying/serving food at this point, I don't have the excuse that I didn't know what was in it. 😬

We've made water our normal beverage, so he won't have to drop a Kool-Aid habit as DH and I did at the turn of the century. I don't see a reason to serve/drink cow's milk, especially since all of us had undesirable cholesterol numbers when we did. Luckily, DS takes after DH and doesn't like soda. I wouldn't be surprised if he takes up drinking coffee someday, though.

Dinner this week:

• Monday - chicken thighs with tomatoes, lemon, garlic, and quinoa, and carrot-orange smoothies
• Tuesday - black bean soup; sweet potatoes
• Wednesday - red lentil soup, garlic mashed potatoes
• Thursday - veggie fried rice, cucumber salad, and I've decided to try kimchi, which I've never had before
• Friday -  tentatively, a roasted sweet potato, chickpea and broccoli dish with hummus; and a tofu scramble
• Saturday - chili, cornbread, possibly fruit salad
• Sunday - pineapple & black bean bowls.

DS and I don't like things too spicy, so DH often adds more spices to his dish. OTOH, sometimes vinegar is on the table for me, and DS occasionally puts salt on something.

Edited May 24, 2023 by 73349

[regentrude]

I provided balanced nutritious meals in a modular form and let every person select which components they wanted to eat. I certainly didn't dictate the compositions of their plates.
My DD is an adventurous eater, loved vegetables, used to eat meat and fish while growing up.
My DS is a supertaster, cannot stand the taste of vegetables, ate mainly plain rice/pasta, meat, green apples, bread, cereal, and some other fruit. He was 15 when he tolerated tomato sauce (on pizza or pasta) for the first time. 

A parent can provide and offer, but a parent cannot force a child to eat xyz. 
We didn't have soda or fast food, and snacks were mostly fruit. Best I could do.
 

Edited May 24, 2023 by regentrude

[regentrude]

6 hours ago, BandH said:

I’m particularly interested in those of you who think the current US and Canadian guidelines to make 1/4 of your plate grains and other high carb foods should be lower, but I’d love to hear from everyone.

Growing up, the traditional German diet was much higher in carbs than 1/4 of the plate. Breakfast was bread-based, dinner is bread-based, and the afternoon meal is a baked good.
Historically, many diets relied heavily on grains as affordable sources of calories and protein. 

Edited May 24, 2023 by regentrude

[rebcoola]

Mostly they just get fed. If had to say the best diet is 1/2 fruits and veggies. 

Alot of meals are fe mnd for yourself our schedules dont mesh well but this is kind of what it looks like

We tend to do smoothies or yogurt and fruit for breakfast.  

Lunch is typically finger foods meat  and cheeses, whatever fruit and veggie is on hand and easy

Snacks vary usual popsicles/ice cream (halo top) or what me and YDD baked.

Dinner is the hardest and most varied usually I cook their is a cooked vegetable and salad along with a meat and potato.

[HomeAgain]

We aim for a 'whole foods' diet, but we're not strict about it.  During the sports season, we're pretty observant about meals because ds does better when he has a specific balance: whole grains, healthy fats, protein in various forms, and lots of vegetables.  He doesn't eat fruit much except for berries.

A typical day for him during sports season is:

breakfast: oatmeal and whole milk greek yogurt with honey

lunch: a wrap made with a touch of plain yogurt or avocado, cabbage, green onions, grilled chicken, mango, and done in a spinach tortilla.  Strawberries, cheese, and chips on the side.

Dinner 1: stir fry or curry over rice.  Naan or dumplings on the side.

Dinner 2: a burger or a tamale, scoop of ice cream.

 

Right now he's growing like a weed and I honestly don't care what I feed him.  He still eats oatmeal in the morning, though dad makes him a breakfast burrito 2x a week.  He will "snack" on an entire pint of strawberries, mini peppers, or blueberries. He eats two school lunches, one provided by the state and one we pay extra for.  He ate 2lbs of homemade mac n' cheese the other day at dinner.  Frankly, I can't keep up.  I made a chickpea curry last night, a huge double batch and 3 cups of rice.  It was filled with a large bowl's worth of veggies.  That somehow stuck in his belly, and gave me hope that he might be slowing down.  No, he's not.  So right now, it's whatever is cheap, filling, and he will eat. 

My diet is still low meat, high plant based.  I don't eat a lot of fruit, either, but more than ds does.

 

A side note, we also eat seasonally. I feel better when I eat high carbs and fat in the winter: sweet potatoes, pasta, red meat, creamy soups and potato filled stews.  There's a lot of bread and butter going on, too. In the summer, I eat more delicate greens, low fat proteins, very few yeast breads, grilled veggies, and light soups.  Olive oil, couscous, etc take the place of a sourdough boule that would have been on the table.

[Rosie_0801]

Protein for breakfast is non-negotiable, otherwise her brain will not work.

Otherwise, it's whatever she can manage with her new braces.

[Arcadia]

7 hours ago, BandH said:

I’m particularly interested in those of you who think the current US and Canadian guidelines to make 1/4 of your plate grains and other high carb foods should be lower, but I’d love to hear from everyone.

 

20 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Historically, many diets relied heavily on grains as affordable sources of calories and protein. 

Grains and high carb foods were sometimes the only affordable food for people. Congee was because rice was too expensive. Wheat bread was considered a splurge because it used to cost a lot more than white bread. 

High carbs diet was useful when people are doing laborious work and need a cheaper source of food to get them through the day. Now, many are in sedentary work and we don’t need that much carbs in our diet. However, some people thrive on high carbs diet so people should tweak the guidelines to their own situations.

 

1 minute ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Protein for breakfast is non-negotiable, otherwise her brain will not work

My dad would insist I have an egg and a cup of milk or chocolate malt drink as breakfast before going to school. 

[regentrude]

9 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

A side note, we also eat seasonally. I feel better when I eat high carbs and fat in the winter: sweet potatoes, pasta, red meat, creamy soups and potato filled stews.  There's a lot of bread and butter going on, too. In the summer, I eat more delicate greens, low fat proteins, very few yeast breads, grilled veggies, and light soups.  Olive oil, couscous, etc take the place of a sourdough boule that would have been on the table.

This. I firmly believe that my body tells me what it requires in each season - if I really listen and don't destroy it by eating crap.

Edited May 24, 2023 by regentrude

[Clarita]

I don't think that much on it actually. Definitely not defined portions for every meal. 

We don't have to penny pinch for our food budget. I do think that makes a difference because even within the same category of food (veg, carb, protein, fruit etc.) higher quality can be more nutritious. I also realize not everyone can do this. We have a farm box subscription so we do eat a lot of fresh green leafy vegetables because the farm box has a lot of that. I live in CA so we have a lot fruit starting late winter with citrus and through the summer (some months in the summer my kids can forage in the yard for snacks - berries of all kinds, leaves they can pick and eat, oranges, peaches, plums...).  We eat carbs but it's usually a local bakery bread which uses flour that doesn't have all nutrients processed out of it and a lot of it features nuts/honey/fruit/olives, etc. I usually use mostly olive oil for cooking (I'm waiting to use up the canola oil and replace with avocado for high heat cooking).

In other words I try to keep most of the stuff I cook with in the house "healthy" and yummy. I want my kids to associate healthy food with yumminess. My husband and I believe that healthy food can be yummier than non-healthy food. Yes I did baby led weaning with my kids (essentially fed my kids whole foods instead of pureed foods when they first started their eating journeys). I actually also started my kids on flavorful foods early on, I tried to mostly feed my babies what I would eat myself. My son was in daycare for a while and they preferred to feed jarred pureed baby food so he got a few Gerber chicken meals in there which I'm not going to waste my calories on.   

Then yes some days/meals we eat fast food, because we had 20 things to do that day or we are driving somewhere far.    

[kirstenhill]

I know our diet could be healthier, but in the end I don't stress a lot about it.  We don't have any allergies, health issues or serious weight issues, so that makes things easier.  I grew up with a mom who was aiming for low fat/fat free everything because it was the trend at the time, plus concerned about using as little salt as possible due to some family history in my step-Dad's family.  Then when I became an adult with my own household, I had so many friends who were into trendy diets of all kinds...It was always something new.   Keto! Paleo! THM! Some-Lady-on-the-Internet-Said-to-do-This!  I was sick of hearing about all of it and just decided I would eat what I wanted to eat that was reasonable and varied, serve my kids veggies at least for dinner, have lots of fresh fruit in the house, and call it good.  My number one goal was to have my kids try and hopefully like lots of different kinds of food.  They are all adventurous eaters, so  I guess I succeeded with that.   My kids make their own breakfasts, which sometimes are great and sometimes are just cold cereal.   Lunch for me and my two kids that eat at home is probably where we need the most improvement, but ultimately with a busy homeschool schedule, me eating leftovers and them eating grilled cheese, pancakes, or plain pasta with melted cheese is about all we can do.  I try to encourage veggies/fruit with lunch but sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't.  

[SKL]

I was raised back in the "4 food groups" days, and that feels about right to me for kids.  Give or take.

From lifelong observation and personal experience, for a generally healthy child, it is not necessary to fuss about exactly what their diet is.  Some fruits and veggies daily, some protein daily, and whatever else they will eat.  Starches happen to be relatively less expensive, so many US kids had a starch-heavy diet when I was growing up, and that was before the recent obesity crisis.  Look back at photos of kids from the 70s - can you tell their moms weren't fussy about food?

But to answer the OP's question:

When my kids were little enough for me to really manage what they ate, I was pretty intentional about what I bought and served.  The grains I used were at least partly whole grain; I served several veggies and at least 2 fruits per day.  I am not much of a meat person, so I didn't insist on daily meat, but I did serve some at times.  My kids also had the usual milk products (eventually yogurt rather than milk after my youngest started complaining about milk).

Sometime after they started preschool, my kids started to become more picky, and others around them would offer them less healthy alternatives to make them happy.  At that point, rather than fight about food all day, I would just offer a reasonably healthy meal buffet-style (because they ate more if it was their choice what went on their plates).  Pretty sure every meal had both starch and fruit/veggies.

Sometime between ages 10 and 12, I started giving the kids more responsibility for what was for dinner.  By age 13, the majority of the kids' meals were planned, prepared/procured, and eaten by them.  I have always tried to educate them and encourage them about healthy eating, and they follow that up to a point.  And we always have a good variety of healthy options.  But the short version is, "dinner is whatever they will eat."  (I generally eat their leavings or something else entirely.)

My kids have dietary issues that affect their choices, in that they may choose to eat a milk product or fried food, but then they are choosing a long bathroom visit after.

In my experience, girls are likely to reform their own eating habits in young adulthood, if they have sufficient education and freedom.

Personally, just about all of my favorite foods are starches, so I spent much of my life eating a pretty starch-heavy diet, while remaining pretty healthy.  (Now up into middle age, I'm trying to dial that back, but I'm not losing sleep about it.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Btw - my kids (especially the oldest) could not eat fruit without serious rashes. And spinach had him literally writhing in pain. I am sure that I got judgy looks when I took fruits and vegetables away from him at the toddler playdates. But I wasn’t going to explain to every busybody. Most moms feed their kids the best they can and deal with the challenges that can come up. 

[katilac]

8 hours ago, BandH said:

Across the whole day, what thoughts are in your mind as you think about what you serve your kids?  Do you include certain foods at certain meals? 

Honestly, when my kids were the age of your kids, I wasn't thinking about it much at all. I never thought about it to the level of certain foods at certain meals, and they were always free to pick and choose from what was made that day, or have pb&j. 

My main thing was having lots of fruits and veggies available. We did a lot of home cooking, but plenty of boxed mac-n-cheese and cold cereal got thrown in there as well. We did, and do, eat chips, candy, ice cream. I used to joke that I was somehow single-handedly keeping Kraft in business, because there was a long spell on the boards when tons of posters acted completely befuddled that such things existed, bc they would never buy them and further, didn't know anyone who did. 

I mean, good on ya if you don't use any processed foods, but there is no town in America that is not selling the blue box, lol. 

[wendyroo]

9 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Most moms feed their kids the best they can and deal with the challenges that can come up. 

I don't know if I agree.

My kids eat lunch at homeschool activities twice a week, and I have spent enough time in both lunch environments to get a feel for what parents are packing. Frankly, I am appalled. By no means am I a super health nut, and my kids packed lunches almost always include chocolate covered raisins or a fruit roll up or something, but lots of the kids aren't bringing anything that I would even classify as food. Gogurt + doritos + Little Debbie cupcake + Smore poptart = lunch?

I see a similar sentiment online. This attitude of "I feed my kids crap and am proud of it! I'm not a fussy, woke, hippie!!" I understand the premise of "Fed is best", but it feels like if you truly have a child that won't eat anything that is not heavily processed sugar and chemicals, then it might be time to visit a doctor or feeding specialist.

[SKL]

15 minutes ago, katilac said:

 I used to joke that I was somehow single-handedly keeping Kraft in business, because there was a long spell on the boards when tons of posters acted completely befuddled that such things existed, bc they would never buy them and further, didn't know anyone who did. 

I mean, good on ya if you don't use any processed foods, but there is no town in America that is not selling the blue box, lol. 

I switched to organic versions at some point, but I secretly miss my Kraft Mac'n'Cheese!  I would eat so much of it when I was young.  And shockingly, no health issues resulted.  Hooray for young metabolism!

[mathnerd]

Lots of carbs for my kid as he is active in sports. But, I make sure that he eats mostly whole grains, naturally fermented breads etc. He is vegetarian, so there are plenty of carb heavy foods like lentils, beans, fruits etc. Among vegetables, I don’t discriminate between high carb veggies and low carb veggies. I have a rotation of all types of veggies including potatoes, carrots, sweet potatoes. For breakfast, I always add nut butter or seed butter, there is a smoothie with vegetables, protein and fruit in the evening, a large stir fry at dinner. 
I have taken to adding fermented foods as a food group in my son’s meals in order to improve his gut health and this involves some kind of fermented vegetable, grains, fruit or dairy at each meal.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

8 hours ago, BandH said:

I’m particularly interested in those of you who think the current US and Canadian guidelines to make 1/4 of your plate grains and other high carb foods should be lower, but I’d love to hear from everyone.

Across the whole day, what thoughts are in your mind as you think about what you serve your kids?  Do you include certain foods at certain meals? 

We were seeing a sports dietitian for awhile.

She said that your average person should aim for a quarter of the plate to be protein, quarter plate to be carb, and half the plate to be veg. Where possible, aim for lean proteins and low GI carbs, make that half plate of veg as varied as possible, to cover the micros.

For athletes, this changes to thirds: 1/3 protein, 1/3 carb, 1/3 veg.

 

[Eos]

Minimally processed, as organic as we can afford, seasonal, and lots of it.  

We always had some form of carb at each meal, usually rice, oats, or quinoa. Two teen boys could put the hurt to the pantry as dh would say.  I remember my oldest sitting and reading books as a teen, going through an entire loaf of bread in an evening. He was a climber and had an intense metabolism.

When the older three were little kids I and all my friends made sure to have snacks to avoid the hangry and outright hostile outbursts that came with low blood sugars.  When my youngest was little, the only other moms I knew were having their firsts and they had different ideas than we older moms had - they wouldn't let their kids snack.  The kids were often cranky and would pound snacks at my house when I would offer but the moms were proud of this parenting style. I believe it had to do with body image but they would always insist their kids weren't hungry. 

Edited May 24, 2023 by Eos

[Spryte]

30 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Btw - my kids (especially the oldest) could not eat fruit without serious rashes. And spinach had him literally writhing in pain. I am sure that I got judgy looks when I took fruits and vegetables away from him at the toddler playdates. But I wasn’t going to explain to every busybody. Most moms feed their kids the best they can and deal with the challenges that can come up. 

This. 

Some days I’m just happy to have found a meal we can all eat and still breathe afterwards, with no epipens involved. I’m definitely not judging anyone else’s choices for their kids (but I do find it interesting to read this thread!).

We make mostly healthy meals, and offer the best choices we can. 

We aim for lots of cooked veggies, the fruits we can eat in our house, proteins, and grains. I should probably pay more attention to the make up of each plate, and will now. We bake our own safe desserts or use “safe” mixes (Namaste and King Arthur GF). We are limited in processed food choices, but we sometimes order from the few safe-for-us options (Katz GF bakery, Enjoy Life, etc) to have treats to take to parties or at home — but these are special. I guess we eat a lot of whole foods, but it’s by necessity really, and I am hesitant to place any further restrictions on our already very-restricted diets.

Our family does not eat peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, lentils, avocados, bananas, dairy, wheat, shellfish, red dye, and a few other things I’m forgetting that are related to the above.  No “may contains,” either, because one or the other of us has had anaphylaxis to all those. Only baked eggs. DS has OAS and cannot eat many veggies and fruits raw without blistering and hives. Allergies. At the end of the day, my goal is to keep us all breathing and have everyone’s needs met as best we can.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just now, Spryte said:

This. 

Some days I’m just happy to have found a meal we can all eat and still breathe afterwards, with no epipens involved. I’m definitely not judging anyone else’s choices for their kids (but I do find it interesting to read this thread!).

We make mostly healthy meals, and offer the best choices we can. 

We aim for lots of cooked veggies, the fruits we can eat in our house, proteins, and grains. I should probably pay more attention to the make up of each plate, and will now. We bake our own safe desserts or use “safe” mixes (Namaste and King Arthur GF). We are limited in processed food choices, but we sometimes order from the few safe-for-us options (Katz GF bakery, Enjoy Life, etc) to have treats to take to parties or at home — but these are special. I guess we eat a lot of whole foods, but it’s by necessity really, and I am hesitant to place any further restrictions on our already very-restricted diets.

Our family does not eat peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, lentils, avocados, bananas, dairy, wheat, shellfish, red dye, and a few other things I’m forgetting that are related to the above.  No “may contains,” either, because one or the other of us has had anaphylaxis to all those. Only baked eggs. DS has OAS and cannot eat many veggies and fruits raw without blistering and hives. Allergies. At the end of the day, my goal is to keep us all breathing and have everyone’s needs met as best we can.

And sometimes, especially if we were going to eat out, getting those processed treats (we had more leeway than you) made the outing possible.  Trying to package up our food from home (which was uber healthy but did not pack well) was time consuming and took all my spoons before I even got out the door.  So yup, we did the packaged chips and snacks at times.  It wasn't even 10% of our diet and made it possible for us to have a social life. 

[Not_a_Number]

Lots of fruit. Some veggies. More bread and pasta than I wish, but it’s what they like. Some cheese. Milk or water to drink.

Mostly dairy proteins — they’re picky about meat. The younger one does like tofu and eggs.

We put out a lot of things and they choose what to eat themselves. I used to try to control this more, but it’s been going way better since I’ve laid off. 

Edited May 25, 2023 by Not_a_Number

[historically accurate]

I have one with ARFID, so I'm just glad when she eats. I don't think she's willingly eaten a vegetable in her life. She does eat a few fruits though. She's old enough now that it's on her, and neither do I comment nor cook for her. Another feels better on gluten free (abdominal migraines), which I really can't afford the specialty items, so she doesn't do hardly any grains. I do purchase gluten free macaroni because mac n cheese is one of her sister's foods. This child is my healthiest eater, sucking down salads and veggies at every meal.

We always have fruit available in the fridge or on the counter. Veggies are served at least daily. Meals consist of some sort of eggs for breakfast and a smoothie with spinach, salad and fruit for lunch or snacky type things or leftovers (everyone's on their own for lunch), then for dinner I usually do a protein & veggie. If people don't like dinner, the kitchen has food for them to make.

[Terabith]

Honestly, when my kids were little, they ate quite nutritiously but really only if you looked at the week, not the meal.  But fruits and vegetables comprised the majority of their diet, tho oldest also drank a ton of milk.  

These days, I'm like, "Here is food in the fridge/ pantry.  This is what we are serving for dinner.  Twice a week it's from Hello Fresh.  Once a week we go to my MIL's and she cooks, and lots of veggies are consumed but also a ton of noodles.  We go out a few times a week usually."  But I've kinda given up on managing my kids' nutrition, because they're 18 and 19, and also my oldest is insanely picky.  When I stopped worrying about them eating nutritionally or even if they ate at all, my stress levels went way down.  I cared a lot when they were little, but weirdly, my oldest got pickier the older they got, but at this point, I feel like at 19 they are responsible for their health and well-being.  They are a healthy weight.  And they don't hate fruits and vegetables really; they mostly just hate putting any effort into food whatsoever.  

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, wendyroo said:

I don't know if I agree.

My kids eat lunch at homeschool activities twice a week, and I have spent enough time in both lunch environments to get a feel for what parents are packing. Frankly, I am appalled. By no means am I a super health nut, and my kids packed lunches almost always include chocolate covered raisins or a fruit roll up or something, but lots of the kids aren't bringing anything that I would even classify as food. Gogurt + doritos + Little Debbie cupcake + Smore poptart = lunch?

I see a similar sentiment online. This attitude of "I feed my kids crap and am proud of it! I'm not a fussy, woke, hippie!!" I understand the premise of "Fed is best", but it feels like if you truly have a child that won't eat anything that is not heavily processed sugar and chemicals, then it might be time to visit a doctor or feeding specialist.

Yeah, honestly, I teach preschool, and I have one child who did not have a single fruit or veggie in her lunch or snack all year.   This kid was begging things like carrots, spinach, and apple slices off of me and the other kids, and I told her parents repeatedly, but until two days ago, she didn't have any.  Yesterday she brought a single giant carrot, not really peeled, not sliced, not cut.  Kid devoured it.  Her previous lunches were things like a slice of bologna and a cheese stick.  

Another kid's lunch is always things like gogurt, fig newtons, cheese crackers, etc, but his mom has said she doesn't expect him to eat at school and he eats real lunch when Grandma picks him up at 1 pm, which is totally fine.  Food at school for him is just for fun, and he just kinda picks at whatever.  

On the other end of the spectrum, I have another kid whose lunches are always a paragon of nutrition, with four vegetables, two fruits, a protein source (but vegetarian), in huge quantities.  Most are somewhere in between.  

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, Eos said:

Minimally processed, as organic as we can afford, seasonal, and lots of it.  

We always had some form of carb at each meal, usually rice, oats, or quinoa. Two teen boys could put the hurt to the pantry as dh would say.  I remember my oldest sitting and reading books as a teen, going through an entire loaf of bread in an evening. He was a climber and had an intense metabolism.

 

When I had three teen boys at once, and all three very active and growing like weeds, there was a big bowl of mashed potatoes with butter on the table nearly every night. Watching them tear into their meals like wolves and fresh deer kill was practically frightening! 😂😂😂 Mark always told them it was good there were only three of them because if there had been a fourth, he would have told them they had to hunt and grow their supper or we would go bankrupt! Thank goodness they liked beans, and a stockpot of meatless chilli was cheap. They would just drain the pot, but at least it was healthy and didn't break the checkbook!

I was forewarned. The CNM who delivered my last two boys had at that time three boys 17,15, and 13. She told me she had to make a few rules. 1. A box of cereal is not to be treated as a single serving. 2. Your friends may NOT be visiting our house on the day of the week that mum grocery shops. 3. You must help carry the groceries and put them away. 4. You may NOT eat straight from the grocery bags. All food is put away first, and mum must leave the kitchen before you begin cannibalizing the spoils. 😂 

I thought she was exaggerating. I was soooooo wrong!

[BeachGal]

My kids always ate a hot breakfast before school—a portion of protein, cooked veggies and some fruit. Lunch was homemade and was similar but sometimes included bread. They grew up eating mainly meat, fish, dairy, veggies, fermented food and fruit. Some of them went through phases where they ate more junk food, especially with teen friends, but they were also eating well at home. They are all adults now and eat mostly healthy meals.

[Shoeless]

When I was pregnant, I saw a mom with her teen boy, unloading a mountain of food onto the belt at the grocery store. I burst into tears at the sight of it. 😂

[Clarita]

There is carb on the table every night and my kids aren't even close to being teens yet. I'm the mom at the Japanese restaurant going "You need to eat the RICE!" because seriously my little girl devoured $20 of fish in 5 minutes. I need to put rice on the table if I want any asparagus, mushrooms, or okra. (Before anyone says to just make more. I don't have enough space on my stove to make more in a single meal.) 

[BakersDozen]

Breakfast - something high protein. Don't care if it's a hamburger or grilled cheese, just no cereal, bagels, waffles, etc. (unless paired with protein foods). Often we have scrambled eggs with cheese/ham. If we're in a hurry, yogurt with Grape Nuts is always on hand. Also, fruit with breakfast.

Snacks - one morning, one afternoon; must include either fruit or veggie along with "fun"

Lunch - fruit, veggie, main (usually chicken, peanut butter/Nutella, cheese quesadillas)

Dinner - same as lunch, just a main that takes a bit more time (as in a pot of water boiling for spaghetti and a jar of spaghetti sauce)

We don't have chips, soda, fried foods, or things like Ramen/Cup-of-Noodles.

We do eat a lot of rice because it's cheap and easy, and we all like it. Lots of milk consumed (sometimes we go through 2 gallons/day).

The big treat is dry cereal as a snack - it's not the best, but I'd rather see that than Oreos and other crunchy comfort foods consumed.

We eat very, very simply. I don't cook beyond boiling water for pasta if I can help it. 😉

Thankfully, no food allergies or other issues to consider; hats off to those who have to factor such things into your shopping/food prep!
 

[Indigo Blue]

One of mine, unbeknownst to me at the time, had a hiatal hernia, which caused feeding issues.. Both my sons were picky, just as I am. I did stress internally over their nutrition. I wasn’t sure as a young mom how to handle it, as I didn’t want to cause the food trauma that I had experienced. I was also a very picky eater with food sensory issues, and I could relate. 
 

The doctors advice ranged from “Don’t worry about it. There are many kids in other parts of the would doing just fine on rice or whatever they can eat” to “Let me recommend this book for you to read. You obviously do not have proper control over your children and household. If you did, they would eat what you put on the table”.

I stopped seeking help from doctors and got them through as best I could. 
 

 

Edited May 25, 2023 by Indigo Blue
Typo

[Momto6inIN]

I read a book when my first was born and one thing it said really stuck with me. Basically it was that you cannot make your child eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom. You can and should set things up optimally to encourage what you want to happen in those 3 areas, but ultimately you cannot (without becoming abusive) force them to do those 3 things. So don't make them a battleground.

It was great advice. I put it into practice wrt food by offering healthy-ish options for meals and if they don't eat it at all or if they only eat a little bit that's fine. No arguing or urging. No clean your plate rules (which DH struggles to implement but I find easy). But then the natural consequence is that they can't have snacky stuff or dessert later unless they ate a good meal of nutritious stuff.

Breakfast - after age 5ish kids are in their own - available options are fruit, nonsugary cereal, oatmeal, eggs, toast, waffles, milk, juice

Lunch - whoever is my current middle schooler is our lunch lady - fresh fruit and veggies are always part of this meal but the main dish is usually something easy and processed like chicken nuggets or Mac n cheese or frozen pizza - usually a couole grocery store cookies for dessert if they ate a decent amount

Snacks in the morning and the afternoon (if they've eaten decent meals) - dried fruit, crackers, granola bars, fruit snacks

Supper - homemade by me with veggies, meat, and carbs and some sort of dessert if they ate well

We don't have food allergies to deal with and all my kids eat a wide variety of fruit and veggies daily and get lots of fresh air and exercise and no one is overweight except me 😉

[HomeAgain]

24 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:

I read a book when my first was born and one thing it said really stuck with me. Basically it was that you cannot make your child eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom. You can and should set things up optimally to encourage what you want to happen in those 3 areas, but ultimately you cannot (without becoming abusive) force them to do those 3 things. So don't make them a battleground.

It was great advice. I put it into practice wrt food by offering healthy-ish options for meals and if they don't eat it at all or if they only eat a little bit that's fine. No arguing or urging. No clean your plate rules (which DH struggles to implement but I find easy). But then the natural consequence is that they can't have snacky stuff or dessert later unless they ate a good meal of nutritious stuff.

This.

I also remember reading Bringing Up Bebe years ago and it said something that stuck with me about food: French schools will present the same ingredient several different ways.  Even if a kid doesn't like raw carrots, they may try carrot puree, roasted carrots, diced and pan fried, with a brush of maple, shredded or julienned in a slaw and so on.

We've tried to do the same here.  And I must have tried kale about 30 different ways before I found two that I liked: having a chili-sesame paste massaged in the raw leaves OR Tuscan kale, which is completely different in texture.  But we do a lot of different veggie prep in order to bring a bit of variety in.

[Clemsondana]

Sometimes we have meals that don't represent the food groups - we may order pizza to pick up on the way home from a ball game, for example.  But, when I cook, most meals have some sort of meat/fish as protein (although sometimes we use beans or eggs instead), some veggies or fruit or both, and a carb.  In my experience, the percentages of each that you need change over the course of your life.  Spouse and I should probably forego the carb portion most of the time, and I try to go light on it even though it is often my favorite part of the meal.  Once the kids are out of the house, I'm guessing that our meals are more likely to be salad or sauteed/roasted veggies topped with lean protein, but right now meals are often 'bowls', with a base of rice or potato topped with meat and veggies.

My kids were always active and now as teens participate in sports.  One has a very high metabolism.  I mostly don't worry about how much of what either of them eats.  Sometimes I tell high metabolism kid to eat something with calories, since this kid particularly loves fruit and veggies which don't have enough calories.  After taking a hiatus for a while, kid recently started drinking  milk with meals because it helps kid to stay full.  My other child is a carb-lover, so we spent years encouraging a more protein/veggie intake.  At this point, it's mostly reasonable so I just offer good options.  We also eat seasonally, and once the garden gets going we have fresh squash, green beans, peas, cucumbers, and/or tomatoes every day.  

It's funny - whenever candy comes into the house, I give the kids a week where nobody else touches their stuff.  After that, I dump what is uneaten (usually most of it) into a punch bowl in the dining room.  Anybody can get something whenever, within reason.  They rarely do.  I have to dump the bowl once or twice a year to clean out old candy.  There are still chocolate Easter bunnies and chicks in there.  Whenever their friends come over, they swarm the bowl and ask what they can have. In our case, having few limits has led to it being no big deal and easy to turn down.  I did do some monitoring when they were small, but wasn't nearly as strict as a lot of parents in our circles.  I would have a different pollicy if needed, but so far it's turned out fine.  I'm not opposed to some sweets for active people, but am happier when it's less processed.  Younger made homemade ice cream earlier this week because there were fresh local strawberries at the store.  I get/make fruit juice or yogurt popsicles or homemade pudding pops in the summer, so there are sweets that are largely fruit/dairy based.  

[KSera]

On 5/24/2023 at 8:01 AM, mommyoffive said:

We put a lot of healthy options around for them to pick from.  I lean more towards not putting a lot of pressure on what people are eating so hopefully they won't have issues.   My kids are all ballet dancers and there is a lot of talk/issues about how other kids they encounter are not eating or getting body shamed by others.  We really try to tell that that everyone needs to eat.  Food is fuel.  

 

This. We used to be way more selective about what foods we brought into the house. Having had a young adult develop disordered eating several years ago changed that entirely. In that situation, the important thing is just getting calories in, no matter where those calories come from. In eating disorder recovery, it’s important not to have “good” foods and “bad” foods. We have continued more on that track since. I don’t want my kids to have too much of a “we don’t eat that kind of thing” concept, even though there are things I just don’t tend to buy now that I’m no longer specifically trying to get enough calories into a particular kid.