After 30 years, my husband noticed

[AbcdeDooDah]

that my stocking is empty. 🙄

One of our adult kids started filling it 3 years ago when she comes over for our Christmas because it occurred to her. 
 

He announced to everyone that he noticed and they were all, “yeah, who did you think was supposed to fill it?”

 

 

[maize]

I've always filled my own 😁

[alisoncooks]

Aww. Does/did it bother you?

I’ve also always filled mine. I like candy too much to leave it empty! 

[73349]

Congratulations to Mr. DooDah on his new insight!

 

I buy what I want in mine and then DH and DS fill it as if DH had bought things. Win-win. (I don't like surprises.)

[EKS]

11 minutes ago, maize said:

I've always filled my own 😁

Me too.

[HomeAgain]

Dh and I went shopping together for our stockings, and yes, I filled mine this year.  It worked out well. 😄 I bought myself some chocolates only I like, a spice mixture for cooking and then the things we bought together.  DS23 threatened to go out yesterday to add stuff to our stockings and while I didn't forbid it, I impressed upon him that it would be a REALLY bad idea to go out in his 12 year old car during the storm to buy stocking stuffers.

We used to go to World Market and hit up the little bins of smaller sweets, but we lost our store during the pandemic. 

[Kassia]

I fill mine too and enjoy it but I can understand being disappointed if I wanted DH to do it.  

[Grace Hopper]

this is the year my kids took notice 😂

[maize]

4 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

 

We used to go to World Market and hit up the little bins of smaller sweets, but we lost our store during the pandemic. 

I usually go to World Market for stocking stuffers, I like getting an interesting variety of international stuff.

This year I mostly stuck with Amazon though. 

Edited December 24, 2022 by maize

[JustEm]

1 hour ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

that my stocking is empty. 🙄

One of our adult kids started filling it 3 years ago when she comes over for our Christmas because it occurred to her. 
 

He announced to everyone that he noticed and they were all, “yeah, who did you think was supposed to fill it?”

 

 

I hope he has time to fill it 

[Annie G]

Dh is so thoughtful about almost everything. Except in 35 years he’s never stuffed my stocking except when I’ve bought things and told him it was for it. 
I don’t care much about the ‘filled’ part but my late mom made my stocking , crazy quilt style, and it has her embroidery on it. The stocking is what I love. 

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

that my stocking is empty. 🙄

One of our adult kids started filling it 3 years ago when she comes over for our Christmas because it occurred to her. 
 

He announced to everyone that he noticed and they were all, “yeah, who did you think was supposed to fill it?”

 

 

After 28 years my stocking is still empty. Even when I've loudly pointed out that my stocking never gets filled it still never gets filled. I should know by now that C family men don't take hints. 

1 hour ago, maize said:

I've always filled my own 😁

I've thought about it but it's just not fun for me.

[LifeLovePassion]

8 minutes ago, Annie G said:

Dh is so thoughtful about almost everything. Except in 35 years he’s never stuffed my stocking except when I’ve bought things and told him it was for it. 
I don’t care much about the ‘filled’ part but my late mom made my stocking , crazy quilt style, and it has her embroidery on it. The stocking is what I love. 

Love the stocking!

[AbcdeDooDah]

9 minutes ago, Annie G said:

Dh is so thoughtful about almost everything. Except in 35 years he’s never stuffed my stocking except when I’ve bought things and told him it was for it. 
I don’t care much about the ‘filled’ part but my late mom made my stocking , crazy quilt style, and it has her embroidery on it. The stocking is what I love. 

Lovely! Mine is homemade by a family friend. I’ve had it since I was a toddler.

[AbcdeDooDah]

11 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

I hope he has time to fill it 

We did Christmas yesterday. There’s always next year! Unless he forgets 😂

[AbcdeDooDah]

1 hour ago, alisoncooks said:

Aww. Does/did it bother you?

 

Yes and no. More comical at this point. 

[Kassia]

6 minutes ago, LifeLovePassion said:

Love the stocking!

I love it too.  It's beautiful and I love things that have sentimental value.

 

@Lady Florida. this probably isn't anything new for you but I fill my stocking with things that make me happy - some things I would have bought anyway and others I wouldn't buy for myself normally.  Things like fun gel pens, chapstick flavors, scented lotions, special post-it notes, fancy slipper socks, etc.  Of course your list would be different an maybe this still wouldn't work for you.  It's like a pampering gift for myself.  And I wrap early so I forget what I've wrapped.  Oh, and special chocolates/snacks too.

 

[marbel]

I had an empty stocking most of the time, though sometimes I would get myself something to fill it. One year my husband either noticed it or my daughter pointed my empty stocking out to him, and he moved something from his stocking to mine. Obviously I had bought the item, so... 🙄 After that my daughter made sure there was something for me, and he finally clued in. Now we all (kids and parents) put stuff in each other's stocking. Often now if he and I  are out shopping together we'll get stuff for our stockings. I am eagerly awaiting my jar of castelvetrano olives that will be there tomorrow. 🫒

[historically accurate]

We don't do adult stockings in my family pretty much for this reason - I wouldn't have a thing. 

I admit I was snarky this morning as I was cleaning, doing laundry, getting ready for the meal tomorrow, and finishing wrapping gifts when DH asked me something. I said that next year I wanted to be the man for Christmas and just show up for the food and gifts and then watch TV for the rest of the day. Not my finest moment, but DH apparently read my mood and mopped the kitchen floor without being asked.

 

[Hilltopmom]

I don’t even have a stocking because it would be empty. But I bought myself 2 pairs of real adult jewelry store earrings this year!

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, maize said:

I've always filled my own 😁

 

2 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Aww. Does/did it bother you?

I’ve also always filled mine. I like candy too much to leave it empty! 

Same here.🤣

[marbel]

In retrospect, though? I wish I had just told him early on, when we started doing stockings, that he needed to go out and get me something for mine. I should not have let him remain clueless. Because I think it was nonmalicious cluelessness, truly. But I should have just said it instead of going without or filling my own. I mean, I don't mind getting my own stuff really, but as they say - it's the thought that counts. And while I excused his thoughtlessness because he was working (and often traveling some years), he would have had time to stop at the grocery store and get a few candy bars or whatever. 

 

 

[JustEm]

2 minutes ago, marbel said:

In retrospect, though? I wish I had just told him early on, when we started doing stockings, that he needed to go out and get me something for mine. I should not have let him remain clueless. Because I think it was nonmalicious cluelessness, truly. But I should have just said it instead of going without or filling my own. I mean, I don't mind getting my own stuff really, but as they say - it's the thought that counts. And while I excused his thoughtlessness because he was working (and often traveling some years), he would have had time to stop at the grocery store and get a few candy bars or whatever. 

 

 

Unfortunately, there are plenty of partners who would literally need a yearly reminder of that expectation and then some who would still fail to fill the stocking.

[marbel]

43 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Unfortunately, there are plenty of partners who would literally need a yearly reminder of that expectation and then some who would still fail to fill the stocking.

Yes, I'm sure that is true too. Still, I think it would have been better for me if I had been more forthright in saying "if we are a family that does stockings, you need to do a stocking for me." Of course it may have been more frustrating if it didn't change. 

Edited December 24, 2022 by marbel

[gardenmom5]

One year, dh put a gift in my stocking . . . he somehow thought,  we did stockings last. . . . . no - they've always been first.
he was still hung up on his mother's gift curiosity that led to his dad doing prank gifts.  (e.g. dh made a very noisy box for her to shake, and christmas eve fil switched it out for her real gift. an electric blanket.) he wanted to do the same type of things to me.  He thought they were 'fun'.  - he's tried all sorts of things over the years to "hide" my gift.   one year, a strand of pearls in a See's Candy box.  I don't remember what he hid in the saw box - incidently,` the saw was still in the box. I opened the end the gift wasn't at.  He's finally gotten the message not to "hide" a present again . . . ever.

But back to stockings. . . . after it was made clear we do stockings first, he no longer puts anything in mine.  (earrings in a film canister that year).

I refuse to wrap anything I buy for myself.  I also refuse to put anything I buy for myself under the tree.

some kids will occasionally put stuff in stockings.  I don't expect much this year.  2dd was planning on coming (dsil was the one that suggested it!) - but, that's not happening . . . . and 1dd wont' be here either.

[TravelingChris]

I normally at least got candy for all, snd sometimes our own presents.  

I have had a number of bad health years and so dh is in charge, mostly now.

[stephanier.1765]

It never even dawned on me to put stuff in my own stocking. I just figured things would feel unbalanced if one adult in the house got a stocking while another adult didn't, so no adult stockings were ever done. 

[katilac]

I fill my own.

dh has slipped a thing or two in there over the years, but I prefer to do it overall. Because if a certain percentage of items across the four stockings don't match or correlate, I can't handle it 😄

3 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

After 28 years my stocking is still empty. Even when I've loudly pointed out that my stocking never gets filled it still never gets filled. I should know by now that C family men don't take hints. 

I've thought about it but it's just not fun for me.

Don't hint, just tell him directly: Husband, I want a stocking this year and I want you to fill it. These are the types of things that we put in stockings at this house (candy, stickers, toothbrushes, whatever you do), and of course anything fun you see that reminds you of me! 

Or, give filling it yourself a try - I mean, not this year, lol. I think it's fun, but not fun enough to go shopping on Christmas Eve. 

[Drama Llama]

We don't do adult stockings here.  Filling the kids' is enough work for me!  

But for those of you in this situation, how did your kids make sense of it when they were little enough to believe in Santa?  I don't know what I'd tell a kid who asked why Daddy got things and I didn't.  

[JustEm]

4 minutes ago, BandH said:

We don't do adult stockings here.  Filling the kids' is enough work for me!  

But for those of you in this situation, how did your kids make sense of it when they were little enough to believe in Santa?  I don't know what I'd tell a kid who asked why Daddy got things and I didn't.  

My dh has always done my stocking but if he didn't or the years we didn't do adult stockings for financial reasons it wouldn't have been a Santa issue. Santa doesn't fill stockings in our house. Mom and dad do. Santa gives the wrapped presents according to my kids

[LaughingCat]

1 hour ago, BandH said:

We don't do adult stockings here.  Filling the kids' is enough work for me!  

But for those of you in this situation, how did your kids make sense of it when they were little enough to believe in Santa?  I don't know what I'd tell a kid who asked why Daddy got things and I didn't.  

Santa doesn't do stockings at our house --instead everyone is expected to put something in each other person's stocking (which can include Santa if he so desires but mostly doesn't).  However, when stockings are emptied there is no specific discussion of who gave what (which mostly means it is always small cheap stuff + candy of course).

Each kid understood the idea by the time they were in grade school -- and I was lucky that in those early years they had access to a 'kids gift shop' (put on by parents) where they could buy small gifts for siblings and parents for as little as .25 -- most often it has been dollar tree stuff since then.  DH has never forgotten my stocking but it has always been the same candy every year. 

[KungFuPanda]

Dh thinks it’s a fun tradition to take a kid out on Christmas Eve and get a gift for me. My daughter is talented with gifts so she was a great help, but she’s married and we no longer control her schedule. Ds is a not a great shopper, but they generally pull off something I want. 
 

So, I plan, schedule, bake, clean, decorate, and wrap and Dh and a kid goes to lunch and tries to find a big gift so they only have to go into one store and they give it no thought before leaving the house. I didn’t let them do it this year because it’s too cold. That’s nuts. I’ll get something when it warms up. 
 

I’m not mad at them but I’m ready to BE them. I want to reduce the gifts down to what will fit in a stocking or travel well and go somewhere for the holidays. I’m ready to pass the torch to Dd (who is expecting in February) and just be the supporting cast.  This Santa is ready to retire. 

[ktgrok]

When I was married to my ex, he remembered to do my stocking at about 10pm Christmas Eve. I got stuff from the gas station in it, as that was the only place open. Sigh. But that was NOT the worst gift he ever did - he also gave me for valentine's day the free t-shirt a stripper gave him. 

I've done my own for years, but before that DH did mine and I did his. It's just easier for me to do mine when I do the rest, so it all comes out kind of "even". 

 

[*****]

I have often added to mine as well, especially when the kids were young teens and old enough to know that anyone could put gifts in stockings too if they wanted. (At dh's parents house, this was the tradition), but he took a long time figuring out that he could add more to my stocking at home).  One year they all did add 1 thing, so there were at least 3 gifts. When I had added another and opened it, they all wanted to know who put it in my stocking. I said it must have been Santa. They all had quizzical looks on their faces and I am not sure if they ever did guess that I had added to my own stocking!😜

 

[TechWife]

We do each other’s stockings and work together on ds’. All three of us spend the month of December sending ideas back and forth & its interesting to see which requests make the cut and if anyone came up with anything original. Sometimes I come up with a theme to use but most of the time it just things that will be appreciated. This year there are art pencils, some electronics cables, favorite type of socks, favorite chocolate bar, silicone soldering mat, etc. I have a few surprises for dh and one for ds, too.  We also hide each others’ stockings around the house (the limit is to stay in the main living areas - no bedrooms, bathrooms or the garage) to be hunted & found Christmas morning after gifts are opened. 

[denarii]

14 hours ago, LaughingCat said:

Santa doesn't do stockings at our house --instead everyone is expected to put something in each other person's stocking (which can include Santa if he so desires but mostly doesn't).  However, when stockings are emptied there is no specific discussion of who gave what (which mostly means it is always small cheap stuff + candy of course).

This is how things were done in my house when I was a child. Took a lot of stress off my Mom to fill all those stockings and let all the kids run around being 'Santa' without too much expense. 

[kbutton]

I had a full stocking this year. I told DH multiple times that it had to have a couple of items from him and then gave some specifics. He got one of those things and then went off script (happily so). DS took care of the rest, lol! 

[Annie G]

update to my earlier comment that dh has never filled mine except when I’ve bought the items:

He filled it this year! Ghirardelli squares, which are a favorite of mine to keep in my sewing room. They pair well with a seam ripper. 

[alisoncooks]

1 hour ago, Annie G said:

update to my earlier comment that dh has never filled mine except when I’ve bought the items:

He filled it this year! Ghirardelli squares, which are a favorite of mine to keep in my sewing room. They pair well with a seam ripper. 

Amazing!

I was just coming to update that, while I did all my stocking candy, DH did wrap an Amazon gift card and hid it in there after I went to bed.  Wonder of wonders!

[Boymama5]

I can understand that. I spent years and years filling everyone’s and mine was always empty. I did finally tell DH one yesr I wanted them to fill mine too and since it has been. It’s not the stuff I wanted but just the thought as I did so much for everyone else. The same was for birthdays. No one decorated and a cake is even a last minute thought. I typically go all out with themed decor and such for all. We just want to be appreciated and thought of too!

[stephanier.1765]

5 hours ago, Annie G said:

Ghirardelli squares, which are a favorite of mine to keep in my sewing room. They pair well with a seam ripper. 

Truth!

[Garga]

For the first 15 years of marriage, DH didn’t fill my stocking. Not only that, on about 3 or so different years he didn’t get me a single gift for Christmas at all. And I love gifts and am totally a Whoville Who about Christmas, so it’s not like we’re the sort of people who don’t believe in gifts for adults at Christmas. Christmas morning would arrive and I’d bound out of bed all excited to be greeted with…nothin’. I used to cry at lot a Christmas. 

For the second 15 years of marriage, I said, “Screw this,” and bought myself exactly what I wanted. The first couple of years of this, DH was surprised, “Wait, you bought your own gifts?” That seemed to make him realize that he was looking like a total grinchy-scrooge by not buying his wife presents and now he buys me presents. But I still also buy myself presents. I don’t even tell him what I want. I just buy whatever I want for myself and he’s stuck figuring out something else to get for me on his own. Even if he asked me for a list and intended on get me everything on the list, I wouldn’t trust him to actually follow through, so I don’t give him a list and I just buy my own stuff. I remove him from the equation. I’m not going to cry on any more Christmases due to lack of presents.

I might sound like I’m resentful, but I’m not anymore. I was still raw the first few years I had to buy my own gifts, but now I’m peaceful about it. I love getting new things and waiting to use them on Christmas day no matter who actually goes out and buys them. So it works for me. And for the past 8 or so years, DH has gotten me a few things that he comes up with on his own.

 

But—DH isn’t necessarily a villain. It took me until the 25th year of marriage to finally figure out his problem with gift-giving.  It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve paid better attention and I’ve seen just how ungracious DH’s mother is about presents. She has something negative to say about so many things that are given to her. So, I realized that my poor DH really means it when he used to say, “I hate buying presents for people. I can never find things they’ll like.” Well, that wasn’t true. He’s great at finding presents. It’s just that for all of his growing-up years, he’d buy his mother presents and she’d look down on them, so he figured he must be deficient at picking out presents and it created a lot of anxiety in him to try, so he just stopped. She just can’t be made happy with presents, no matter who is getting them.

Me buying my own presents has actually been very good for him emotionally. He no longer has any pressure to find me anything and no fear that I’ll be like his mom (I’m not, but when you’re a kid/teen and your own mother turns up her nose at your gifts, it messes with you.) It’s win-win: I get the same amount of presents everyone else does, so that I’m not the martyr in the family, and DH isn’t filled with anxiety that he’ll buy the wrong thing and ruin Christmas.

This year’s ungraciousness was about a card. My BIL bought a card that he thought was hilarious and gave it to his mom (my MIL). She opened it and didn’t really react. BIL told her how funny he thought it was and instead of her saying anything nice about it, even if she didn’t quite agree (“Yeah, it’s a cute card!” or something) she went the other way and said she didn’t think it was funny at all. The more he talked about how he laughed in the store when he saw it, the more she kept pinching up her face and shaking her head about the card. It became a thing with her doubling-down about how un-funny she thought the card was. She’s contrary like that. 

[GoVanGogh]

My young adult son filled my stocking this year. It is the first time I have ever had anything in my stocking. Most years I don’t hang mine up, but my late grandmas made mine when I was just a few years old and I love it. 

[Ottakee]

For the first time…..likely ever as an adult I had a stocking.  My kids surprised me with one.  Filled with candy and mints and some aroma bomb things that go in the hot tub.   It was very sweet.  They each also bought me a gift that was well thought out.

i still do all cooking and cleaning and planning and more cooking and dishes and driving and more driving…..but I got a nice stocking

 

 

[ktgrok]

I just want to give hugs to all of y'all that don't get a stocking filled, and would like it filled. Heck, even our new FISH got stuff in his very own stocking on Christmas morning! (pretty sure none of you want blood worms in your stocking though, lol). 

I hereby give any of you in that situation FULL PERMISSION to fill your own stocking when you are doing the rest of the family!!!! Honestly, since we still have a Santa believer I wouldn't want an empty stocking there - the kids would think I was naughty if it was empty, lol. 

[Elizabeth86]

Better late than never I suppose.

[GracieJane]

This is fascinating topic. I know a lot of women who either get no presents or late-night-run-to-the-store trinkets from their husbands. I wonder if these husbands would feel weird getting nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? 

I get the exact same thing from my DH for my birthday every year and I love it: an Amazon gift card, my favorite candy, a soda and Hot Cheetos. For Christmas, it’s the most current generation Kindle. Maybe the bar is low, but I’m happy to get something 1. I like and 2. is wrapped and ready on the occasion.

I wonder if it’s easier to men to be told “I want x and z for my birthday” than to wait for them to creatively think of a gift.

[maize]

@Gargathat makes a lot of sense about your husband being conditioned by his mother to not trust himself as a gift giver. The story of the card sound incredibly ungracious and ungrateful, I'm surprised anyone is getting gifts for her at all at this point!

Dh lucked out with me. He's not a gift person--can be quite ungracious about receiving them and has several times outright rejected a gift. It's all tied up in his tendency towards negative thought patterns combined with material minimalism. Anyway, I gave up on giving him gifts after a few negative experiences (once, I got him a nice electric razer for Christmas and he rejected it, said to save it for our son who wasn't even ten years old yet...) and he never even tried to give me any. I say he lucked out because I grew up in a family that wasn't big on gifts and I don't much care about receiving gifts myself; I just buy what I want if it is in the budget.

[marbel]

1 hour ago, maize said:

@Gargathat makes a lot of sense about your husband being conditioned by his mother to not trust himself as a gift giver. The story of the card sound incredibly ungracious and ungrateful, I'm surprised anyone is getting gifts for her at all at this point!

Dh lucked out with me. He's not a gift person--can be quite ungracious about receiving them and has several times outright rejected a gift. It's all tied up in his tendency towards negative thought patterns combined with material minimalism. Anyway, I gave up on giving him gifts after a few negative experiences (once, I got him a nice electric razer for Christmas and he rejected it, said to save it for our son who wasn't even ten years old yet...) and he never even tried to give me any. I say he lucked out because I grew up in a family that wasn't big on gifts and I don't much care about receiving gifts myself; I just buy what I want if it is in the budget.

I think my husband was afraid of gift-giving for a while. His mother also was very ungracious about gifts. It's so weird, because she seemed to love gifts in the abstract, but she bought terrible gifts with little (apparent) thought to the recipient, and never liked anything we gave her. I once suggested we get her a cookbook and my husband said oh no, he had given her one once and she was offended. I guess the idea was that it meant he thought she was a lousy cook. (She was, but that's not why her got her the cookbook.) Or maybe she felt he should have known that was something she would not like. 

She was also adamant nothing home or cooking related could be a good gift. So she was mystified when I was thrilled when my husband gave me my Le Creuset dutch oven, and other nice cooking tools. And I LOVE receiving cookbooks.

So, yeah, gifts can be a minefield.

Another thing  was thinking of... many men grow up seeing their moms do all the Christmas stuff. I just wonder - if they never see their dad involved in gift-giving, when would they recognize that they should be participating in gift-giving?  (that's partly why I told my husband he needed to get his act together and stuff my stocking, and why we celebrate valentine's day even though neither of us care about it - we don't want our son to  disappoint his as-yet-hypothetical wife by ignoring it.)

Edited December 26, 2022 by marbel

[Garga]

2 hours ago, maize said:

@Gargathat makes a lot of sense about your husband being conditioned by his mother to not trust himself as a gift giver. The story of the card sound incredibly ungracious and ungrateful, I'm surprised anyone is getting gifts for her at all at this point!

Dh lucked out with me. He's not a gift person--can be quite ungracious about receiving them and has several times outright rejected a gift. It's all tied up in his tendency towards negative thought patterns combined with material minimalism. Anyway, I gave up on giving him gifts after a few negative experiences (once, I got him a nice electric razer for Christmas and he rejected it, said to save it for our son who wasn't even ten years old yet...) and he never even tried to give me any. I say he lucked out because I grew up in a family that wasn't big on gifts and I don't much care about receiving gifts myself; I just buy what I want if it is in the budget.

I get her the most bland gifts I can find on purpose. DH doesn’t get her anything. He’s gladly let me take over in that regards. Some years, I just get her gift cards and am done with it. They are from “both of us”, but really I’m the one buying her the boring gifts. I do not do it to “punish” her, but as a way to set up boundaries. It hurts too much to put care into picking a gift just to have it poo-poo’d. But if she poo-poos a boring gift that I bought without a lot of thought, there’s no hurt.

 

1 hour ago, marbel said:

I think my husband was afraid of gift-giving for a while. His mother also was very ungracious about gifts. It's so weird, because she seemed to love gifts in the abstract, but she bought terrible gifts with little (apparent) thought to the recipient, and never liked anything we gave her. I once suggested we get her a cookbook and my husband said oh no, he had given her one once and she was offended. I guess the idea was that it meant he thought she was a lousy cook. (She was, but that's not why her got her the cookbook.) Or maybe she felt he should have known that was something she would not like. 

She was also adamant nothing home or cooking related could be a good gift. So she was mystified when I was thrilled when my husband gave me my Le Creuset dutch oven, and other nice cooking tools. And I LOVE receiving cookbooks.

So, yeah, gifts can be a minefield.

Another thing  was thinking of... many men grow up seeing their moms do all the Christmas stuff. I just wonder - if they never see their dad involved in gift-giving, when would they recognize that they should be participating in gift-giving?  (that's partly why I told my husband he needed to get his act together and stuff my stocking, and why we celebrate valentine's day even though neither of us care about it - we don't want our son to  disappoint his as-yet-hypothetical wife by ignoring it.)

Your MIL sounds a lot like mine, even down to not understanding why I’m happy to receive a household item. She turns to my dh when he does get me something useful and says, “Oh DH! You should get your wife something nicer!” The thing is, she never understood that until last year, we couldn’t afford to get gifts that are nicer. We save up our money to buy needed things for each other at Christmas, so I’m really happy to finally get something that I need and have been making do without, vs just getting a doo-dad I might want. Last year I got a job and for the first time ever, we (I) were able to spoil everyone at Christmas. 

 

And good news for my family and my sons: my dh has gotten a lot better about getting me gifts now that I buy all my own. This means that the boys only remember these more recent years where they’ve seen DH get me a couple of presents. He doesn’t go as far as I do, but he makes an effort. I am 100% going to take some time to explain to my sons how to handle Christmas when they have significant others are are married, just to be sure they’re not blindsided by a crying wife on Christmas morning one year.

Edited December 26, 2022 by Garga