Do you like to talk about or 'window shop' (via internet) for things you can't afford?

[Tap]

DD17 was just telling me that she and DH have been shopping for a Westfalia (a VW Campervan) online.  They found one they both like for $22,000.  Ironically, it is identical (year/style) to one we sold years ago, except the color.  We sold ours 20 years ago, and they are now collectors items, so they are wayyyy more expensive than they were back in the day. 

 

Even her telling me about it, was seriously bugging me, and I had to ask her to stop. She was telling me about all the features and about this person's advertisement (it was clear that he loved his van so very much)  I HATE shopping for something I can't afford. I will shop and research extensively if I want to buy something, but I have to be interested and able to afford it first. 

 

DH loves window shopping like this too and she got his genes in this area. It was actually depressing me to hear her go on and on about it.  It was making me feel like we are very, very poor that we can't afford something that we used to have.  

 

He loves to go to boat shows and RV shows.  Again, it just reminds me of how far backward we have come in life.  DH makes 2/3 of what he did before the economy crashed and after my working 10 years in the same job, I have had less than $1 in raises for the same reason.  

 

I remember a friend who used to be involved in an MLM>  They were encouraged to go 'dream building' and so he and his wife used to go to sail boat shows to 'dream build'.  I thought it was the most bazaar manipulation.  Go, Dream. and BUY. so you can pretend to be wealthier than you really are.....so more people will sign up under you.   :banghead:

 

 

What about you? Are you a 'window shopper"? 

[JustEm]

Yes I'm a window shopper. I know we will not be moving for at least 5 years,likely longer. But I look at houses on my area every few months. It really gives me a good idea of what I want, where I want it to be, and the ability to learn the trends of certain areas I like. I've learned a lot from windowing for houses.

[lllll]

nm

Edited April 22, 2016 by _ ?^..

[EmseB]

I like looking and dreaming, but try hard to let it not veer into coveting and being stuck on something I can't have. Sometimes DH likes to dream with me, sometimes I think he feels pressured being the sole earner, like I want this fabulous lifestyle we'll probably never have. I don't really think of it that way, but I try to temper my dreaming out loud so that I don't give him that impression.

[JudoMom]

I hate it. I don't like to shop in general, and when I find something I like at a price I like I want to be able to purchase it. Otherwise the "deal" that got away really bothers me.

[bettyandbob]

Dh refuses to even remotely think about some stuff. If he decides it's not affordable, he just won't think about.

 

I don't window shop (or websurf products) a lot, but if there is something I want I will research heavily to figure out how to get it. For instance, I wanted to try a speech therapy program that is a streaming video service. Dh said monthly fee was too high for something we weren't sure about. For him that was the end. Thankfully not for me. I found how to apply for a discount and got it. 8 months later dh thinks this program has been good for ds.

 

There are many things we wouldn't have or wouldn't have done if we stuck with dh's first glance too much money response. Some things might be considered luxuries (a trip that didn't involve camping) and some really in the necessary range (speech therapy). We don't spend freely, because we can't. However, we do do some things because I do the homework to it possible.

 

Sometimes dh will get mad that I even do the research. I wish he wouldn't. Often I do the research and find the thing is not possible. On the rare times my research puts something into the possible category it's been a good thing for us.

 

Dh grew up with a lot of money hang ups. And his parents argued constantly about money. So these issues are hard for him.

[wendy not in HI]

I really enjoy "window shopping" online! I don't actually enjoy shopping in real life. I also don't like to spend money... We are house hunting and I love to look at houses, even ones we can't afford.  I also love to look at ideas on Houzz.  Talking about it is how I work through my ideas.  I am an under-spender, so I know I will never buy any of that stuff and we will likely under buy on our house, but I still like to dream!!  

 

This seriously stresses out my husband.  Talking about it and showing him my ideas online seriously puts him in a bad mood.  He can't seem to believe that I'm just thinking out loud.  He starts to think I need all this stuff and he can't provide it and I'm unhappy, etc.  I don't understand why he gets all worked up about it.  I think I actually talked him out of a recent favorite house with some of my "great ideas" (you know what would be great, a pergola!... and that living room needs a couple wingback chairs there by the fire place...)  

 

I'm currently trying to keep my mouth shut, but I think I need to go check realtor.com...

[Arcadia]

Both hubby and I come from a long line of window shoppers. We have no intention to buy but just enjoy mall strolling and browsing. We looked at houses with intention to buy but not in any rush since property prices are through the roof locally right now.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Arcadia

[marbel]

No, I don't get any enjoyment out of it, and I can let myself fall into discontent if I do too much of it. I know that for some people it's entertaining, but for me it's a waste of time.

[Mimm]

I enjoy looking, yes. :) I "window shop" houses in my area that I'll never be able to afford. It's like a fantasy, like pretending when you were a child that you were a princess or a dragon slayer or president or a magical witch that could heal animals. :) But even as a kid, you know it's not real and never will be. The adult version is, "Look at this beautiful mansion. This room could be my oldest daughter's room, this room I would paint blue, this room could be my husband's office." But in my mind, it's still just a fantasy.

 

I looked at fancy china patterns not too long ago. Not because I was interested in buying china, but I was just curious. (I had come across some very ugly very expensive china someone had gotten so it sent me on this wild goose chase wondering what was out there and what I would pick.) Fancy china would be very out of place in my humble kitchen and I have no need for it or really any desire for it. But yeah, it was fun to window shop for 20 minutes or so.

 

That dream building thing is strange and manipulative and my parents were part of an MLM (probably the same one) that encouraged that behavior and I think it was very unhealthy for us kids to be around it.

[Junie]

Nope.  I like to buy things (books, mostly), so I don't often look at things I can't afford.

[Crimson Wife]

I enjoy window shopping for things that I could theoretically afford to buy if we had different priorities for our money. Designer clothes, vacations, sailboats, etc. Obviously I'm not going to go cash out my IRA or the kids' college savings accounts to buy these luxuries, but I could do so if I decided to.

 

What I find depressing is when DH looks at real estate listings that would require winning the lottery to ever afford. He was showing me one last week for a multi-million dollar vacation home at Lake Tahoe. Reminds me too much of growing up around a bunch of trust fund babies who looked down their noses at me for being "poor".

[mathnerd]

I "window shop" for fabulous multi-million dollar estates on redfin all the time! I may not even be allowed to attend the open houses of those estates if I showed up in person! But, I have redfin app on my iPhone and I can window shop real estate as much as I want to :)

 

PS: I hate real life shopping including at malls, costco, trader joe's etc. I will go shopping when I have run out of excuses. I hate online window shopping for everything else except real estate! I shop a lot on amazon though.

Edited April 21, 2016 by mathnerd

[hornblower]

I don't like window shopping. I don't like shopping for reals either. 

If there's something I'm interested in though, I like doing online research on it & checking out features and reviews, but that's only for things I have the money for &  I'm very likely going to buy very soon. 

Otherwise, I hate it. I also don't look at flyers that come to the house, I have adblockers on all the computers and we rarely watch cable tv so I don't even know about many products out there...

[alisoncooks]

I window shop.  

 

Right now I'm window shopping dogs, from a half-dozen local shelter and rescue sites.  We want one, just aren't sure if we want to wait for our old fella* to die first or go ahead and get him a friend. (*old fella is 14 but is a toy breed in good health so we could be waiting a while*)

 

Sometimes, when I get frustrated with our dilapidated house, I peruse realtor.com.

I window shop the pretty (expensive) tunics on Zulily. 

[Arctic Bunny]

Oh my goodness, reading this I see it's exactly what DH does with retirement and houses! He'll say something like, "How will we afford a house like that when we move?" pointing at an acreage with a three-story, bazillion rooms, four-car garage, with bay for a travel trailer. And I'm saying... We won't!! Now it's, buy a house in Florida when he retires. Or, speaking of heart palpitations, cash out his pension to buy a business!!

 

Maybe that's beyond window shopping and into delirium.

[theelfqueen]

Sometimes I plan dream vacations.

[ErinE]

No. I have a list of things I'd like to buy (mainly as gift suggestions), but I don't like window shopping. I've wanted to visit the Caribbean for a few years now, and I just get depressed whenever I look at vacation spots.

[EmilyGF]

I don't like window shopping. It is annoying to me.

 

I do like people watching, though. It is hard to do online. And I only like people watching alone. If I go to the mall with someone, I don't enjoy it at all. But alone I've loved poeple watching since a young teen.

 

Emily

[aggie96]

I love "window shopping"! Ironically, it's when funds are lowest that all that dreaming lifts me up. It motivates me. And I "shop" for the big stuff--houses, acreage, boats (and I hate being on boats), RVs, vacations, international real estate, furniture, etc. You get the picture. I was part of a MLM group for a split second my freshman year of college. The "dream big" by touching it, feeling it, picking out your favorite really, really resonated with me.

 

DH wasn't much into that sort of thing when we first met, but over time I've converted him. When we feel particularly low, we go "shopping" for something really big. :)

[LucyStoner]

Nope. But I haven't found any form of shopping I consider more than a chore so fantasizing about something I don't like doesn't really make sense. My brother is a good shopper, in part because he checks out whatever is available so I literally text or call him when I am looking for something.

[LucyStoner]

I guess there an an exception- I check out houses occasionally. Because we want to buy one and I don't want to make the mistake we did with our first house of not knowing what we wanted in a house before signing on the dotted line.

[Tsuga]

 

What about you? Are you a 'window shopper"? 

 

No, I very much share your feelings and thoughts on the whole thing.

 

At most, right now I have not got off Zillow or Redfin but that is ONLY because prices are rising still for homes in our area so it gives me a boost to know what a great deal we got on our house. I'm not shopping. I didn't even "window shop" for homes... we had really narrow parameters and we only looked at homes in that EXACT sub-zip code with the EXACT number of rooms for an EXACT upper limit, knowing that was what we demanded and if we couldn't get it we'd just keep saving. It's the opposite of window shopping I guess, it's window gloating. "Already have one, thanks!" :D

 

I will keep my eye on things that I'm planning to buy in a year or two, but not actively shop. Like we want kayaks. We can't afford one now. But we know we plan to buy eventually. I might look at the prices while shopping for something else if I need that. But I wouldn't look it up on Amazon or anything. I do not plan dream vacations. That would make me unhappy.

 

Generally I only go to the grocery store and I only go on Amazon or Craigslist when I know exactly what I want.

[Tsuga]

Also, "dream building" to me sounds like envy building. On the contrary I was raised with the advice that if you don't plan to buy it don't touch it and don't look. That sounds so unhealthy, although I always wondered how so many people could afford to look at those boats and all the fancy houses and whatnot. I guess now I know why 64 people clicked that "heart" on the 2m house on Zillow! (I was like, there are NOT 64 people in the market for a 2m house...)

[UCF612]

I used to but I realized it was feeding negative feelings so I try not to. I'm more satisfied with the life we have now. Can't say I never do it but I am more apt to realize that I either need to stop or that I have plenty to be happy with.

 

We actually did some "let's see what's out there" window shopping for houses last year. It was something we'd done once every few years but this last time we ended up finding a house we wanted and sold ours. We are so happy in our new to us house. All that window shopping ended up being for the best for us in that instance!

Edited April 22, 2016 by UCF612

[Catalytic]

Hubby, the kids and I love to window shop.  We don't covet, we just talk about "when we win the lottery" (we don't play lol)  Hubby is also the sole earner, but I don't think he's ever felt pressured to provide a better lifestyle for us.  As a family, our biggest window shop thing is RVs.  Hubby and I enjoy car shopping, we usually know years in advance what our next vehicle will be.  I window shop on Amazon all the time, I put stuff in my cart and then save for later.  Sometimes I buy it, usually not, and I clean it out every so often.  (I had stuff in there from 1998 a couple years ago LOL)

[The Girls' Mom]

I'm a total window shopper.  I browse Amazon allll the time.  I love to wander through stores.  I just like looking at new things.  It doesn't really bother me to look at things we can't afford.  

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

No, I'm like you. To window shop for things I would love to have buy can never afford makes me sad and discontented. I'm much better off not thinking about that stuff, and I'm much happier with what we have when I don't do that. But my DH is like yours--he has no problem at all with window shopping. It makes him feel hopeful, like someday we'll have all of those things (we definitely won't!).

 

The funny thing is that for me, the only exception is houses. I can window shop on Zillow or Realtor.com, though only for a little while, because frankly, we're never moving from this house, even if we could afford to. So I like to fantasize about living somewhere else up to a point, and then I start to get bummed and have to go do something else. But if DH sees me looking at houses, he gets frustrated and annoyed and doesn't want to hear me talk about it. It's a strange dynamic!

[gardenmom5]

when I was younger and 'things' meant safety and security to me.  I can look back now and understand 'things' were equated with security and (false) value. it came from my grandmother.

 

now - I hate shopping.  (eta: even when I can afford and need it.)  I walk in our local mall (I have a leg injury I'm still struggling with a year later, and I can't always predict how long/far I can walk. walking in the mall I can easily change direction to head to my car.) so I'm  constantly passing store windows.  very very very *rarely* has anything I've passed interested me enough to make me stop and look at the window, let alone go in the store.

 

Edited April 22, 2016 by gardenmom5

[mamiof5]

Not at all. Can't stand shopping... it has become such a chore for me! Window shopping?? Forget it, I have better stuff to do :)

[Daria]

I like to window shop for things I would never be able to pay for, like multi million dollar houses, and things that I would never choose to pay for even if I had the money like expensive jewelry, and things I have no need for like wedding dresses and baby things.  I especially like to shop for baby things, even though I have only 1 17 year old who swears he will never have kids.

 

The baby things make me a little sad sometimes, because I would have loved another baby, but the other things are just fun.  I don't really want a giant house, but it's fun to look at them online.

 

[Crimson Wife]

 things I have no need for like wedding dresses

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I pass by a chi-chi bridal boutique several times a week and every time they change their display window, I have to check it out. Even though I've been married for 17 years and would not have paid $$$$ for a designer gown when I *WAS* engaged. My dress was a Jessica McClintock that cost $450 in '98 or the equivalent of $660 today.

[StephanieZ]

I don't even like to shop for stuff I can afford, want, and need.

 

I hate shopping. I stress out about every detail. I want to spend 10 hours shopping for a $200 faucet, but life is too short and there is too much stuff to buy, so I never feel like I can give the decisions all the critical attention I should.

 

I enjoy accompanying OTHERs on their shopping journeys, but dread shopping for stuff where I am the decision maker. 

 

Maybe I'm just tired out. Maybe in a year or two when I've truly recovered from a very chaotic few years, then I'll have enough energy to expend it needlessly shopping. For now, I'm grateful for Amazon, where I can find what serves my purpose in 3 minutes or less. 

[J-rap]

No, I really don't enjoy that at all!  But it's not because I feel badly that I can't afford it.  I just find it...boring.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I don't like shopping. I do dream vacation. I look at the scenery, the hotels, the tours, look up the local historical sites ( my vacations always include museums, cathedrals, that sort of thing) and even local foods. We don't vacation. Dh does not like to leave home. This actually usually makes me feel like I've been somewhere. Weird I know.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

With the exception of books, I only shop if I have the intention to buy.  No wait, books too.  

 

What you are describing would make me nuts, too!

[SemiSweet]

I like window shopping but generally only for things I could technically afford, whether I actually want to afford it or not is a different story.

 

I do dream vacation, but I also mostly always make those happen, it's just that the process has to start somewhere. I'm just getting into the dreaming part of a UK vacation for next summer even though we don't plan on making any solid plans or purchase for it for at least 6 more months.

 

DH hates it when I window shop or talk about things I'd like to do to the house because he can only see dollar signs or that I'm dissatisfied, which definitely isn't the case, it's just me talking through different scenarios and ideas.

[Carrie12345]

 I like to "shop" for houses, furniture, kitchens and bathrooms, fancy decks, outdoor living stuff, sometimes camping related things.  Sometimes it gives me some DIY ideas, or helps me discover what I really like so I can look for cheap alternatives.

 

I do stalk my childhood home online to see how much more my mom would have made (or lost) depending on the year.  It's been sold several times since we all moved out.

[VaKim]

No. It only breeds discontent. 

[amy g.]

I hate real shopping but I call looking online at things I can't currently afford research. For example, I won't do another total kitchen remodel for at least, another 5 years.

 

Still I'm "researching" what I want. I discovered that the newer AGA ranges have very bad reviews and it is difficult to find anyone who can service them.

 

I wonder if La Cornue have the same issues. I'd better research that. Maybe an actual refurbished period range would work better. I'm off to see what is available in the area.

 

I certainly can not afford a dream kitchen right now, but when the day comes, I will know how much lead time they need to deliver the range. I'll know if the floors need to be reinforced to support the extra weight. I might even know what color I want.

 

So I hate shopping, but I love to research.

[Katy]

I love window shopping.  It doesn't make me covet, but it does help me refine my taste and plan for the future. DH and I are both the purchase one quality, classic thing that will last forever types. I know our next major home furniture type purchase will be a pair of Chesterfield style sofas from either a high quality brand (Restoration Hardware or Ethan Allen) or a set of restored antiques. The sort of quality where they would be heirlooms.  While we have the cash or credit to go buy them now, buying them now is not in line with our current financial goals, so they will wait.  But knowing that is what I want has prevented me from purchasing other, cheaper and trendier things that would be a waste of money and not last as long.

 

Through window shopping I've also found some artists I like.  We haven't bought any paintings of theirs yet, but it's on our list for someday purchases.

 

 

A camper that has been loved and meticulously cared for is likely much more expensive than one in need of restoration.  Would you be interested in getting a camper that you perhaps could afford, but that would need significant work?

 

 

 

 

[Starr]

Ds and I have moved and traveled quite a bit. It always gave dd an anxiety attack, as if we had the wherewithal . But it was fun.