DDs required fundraiser vent

[Tap]

Dd attends public high school and is part of the cheer team.  This is her second year, and both years has cost us about $1000 ea, for camp, uniforms, poms, ASB fees, t-shirts/sweatshirts/shorts etc.  We are not rich but can afford to pay, so I do without much complaint. Everything for this year has been paid for, but the coach has added a fundraiser to start a general fund. Since it is all online, they are tracking each girls emails and $$ raised for everyone who logs in to see.

 

Here is where I am irritated.

 

This is a fundraiser program called SNAP. There is an official website and donation is easy, just click a link and pay. Each girl is supposed to email donation requests to 20 people. Not to sell cookie dough, candy etc.  Just a 'give us money', type fundraising.  Normally I just opt out and we refuse to do the fundraising (if there is  buy out option for fundraising, I just pay the fee usually to skip the hassle).  But here is the catch.....  If there is not an 80% compliance on emailing 20 people, the coach is going to start a new mandatory practice.  5am on Sunday Mornings!  She says she is doing this as a 'motivator'.  

 

First of all, I am not going to give out my families email addresses to a fundraising program so they can harass them.

Second, I don't beg for money....I work to earn it.

Third, my daughter just got her license and drivers under 18 aren't allowed to drive between the hours of 1am-5am.  So that means I would have to drive her to and from practice on a Sunday morning.  UMMM NO!

Forth, if they get the 80% compliance, they each get a personalized team backpack.  Ummmmm, so what is the fundraising for? Just another backpack that they don't need?  There are 30 girls on the team, if each back pack is $40 then the first $1200 goes for participation? 

 

 

 

I soooooooooooo want to complain to the school, but can not get dd singled out right now.  (another story).  So I vent her instead.  

 

DD sent her 20 emails last night.  To email addresses that I legally created and then deleted.  LOL  If they look at her list they are going to thing she has a really odd family with names like Chairatdesk@ Penondesk@ chaironcarpet@ pitcheronwall@ etc LOL   I think they may catch on, what do you think? LOL

 

 

 

Edited to add....if they get the backpacks, I will donate enough to cover hers.  I won't let others pay for her item, I just won't beg family and friends for the money.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I hate fundraisers, but that one would especially irritate me.  Sorry Tap.

[Catwoman]

Sounds like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think it was a clever idea to create the email addresses, but why did you immediately delete them? If the fundraising organization sends emails to all of the addresses and they all bounce back, it will make your dd look deceitful, and I'm concerned that she could get into trouble for it.

 

I hate it when people expect you to give out the email addresses of friends and family. It is rude and unacceptable.

[Tap]

Sounds like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think it was a clever idea to create the email addresses, but why did you immediately delete them? If the fundraising organization sends emails to all of the addresses and they all bounce back, it will make your dd look deceitful, and I'm concerned that she could get into trouble for it.

 

I hate it when people expect you to give out the email addresses of friends and family. It is rude and unacceptable.

She was sending the emails  before I deleted them LOL  They were all received first.

 

 

One of the coaches suggested they use random business emails, if they didn't have enough to meet the goal, so I am guessing they aren't going to question ours. 

[Beaniemom]

This situation must be very frustrating. I ran into this issue a few times when my dc were in school. It was school wide though and not such a small group. Each time I wrote notes to the administration explaining that my dc would not be participating. These wanted us to provide the school with address and e-mail so the school could send letters asking for money. I flat out told them it was an invasion of privacy for me to provide them with addresses or e-mails not directly belonging to me and that if my friends and family wished to donate to the school they were well aware of the school's address and could do so on their own. I really dislike fundraisers!

[LucyStoner]

I would have entered fake email addresses too. Sometimes I make it very clear by making the addresses like grandma@donotemailme.com.

[KungFuPanda]

Anonymous letter. One to the coach and one to the principal.

[Aiden]

Ugh. I probably would have done the fake email addresses too, but I would have kept them to reuse next year or whenever I needed to put an email on a form and didn't want to ;)

 

I would have been tempted, if my norm was to "buy out" participation in fundraisers, to take what I was willing to donate and divide it not-quite-evenly among several of the fake email addresses, if it were possible to donate without using a credit card.

[LucyStoner]

Ugh. I probably would have done the fake email addresses too, but I would have kept them to reuse next year or whenever I needed to put an email on a form and didn't want to ;)

 

I would have been tempted, if my norm was to "buy out" participation in fundraisers, to take what I was willing to donate and divide it not-quite-evenly among several of the fake email addresses, if it were possible to donate without using a credit card.

I have a standing arrangment with my friends. I list them on my fundraising packet and vice versa but we each fund the content of the envelopes ourselves. I sent out a silly letter on Facebook to arrange it.

[LisaKinVA]

Not the kind of fundraiser I'd sign up to lead.  And, I don't mind fundraising.  I'm just choosy about how we do things!  I hate things that smack of begging.  I like things to be a fair price.  And, I don't want either to take tons of time.

 

The SCRIP programs are much easier. It's a little bit at a time -- which, when people are looking to fundraise, things like this often get overlooked, because it's 3-15% of $25-$50.  What people don't see, is the long-term cumulative effects.

 

Scrip programs are Gift Card programs.  Oversees, we do a lot of on-line ordering (did a lot back-home, too).  But, we routinely spend $200/month on Amazon for regular products, plus things like brake rotors...haha.  $200/month = $6 a month x 12 = $72 a year -- no muss, no fuss.  $36 x 40 families = $2880 a year.  Amazon is really easy, because it' an e-card.  But, they have hundreds of other gift cards available...i-tunes, Lands' End, Gap, retailers galore!, Plus restaurants, gas, and grocery stores...

 

I do have friends back home who get Starbucks every single day.  I don't feel bad hitting them up to buy a $50 Gift Card 1-2x a month (these are really good friends).  They are going to spend the money at Starbucks anyway, and this way, my kid(s) receive a little extra donation.  I used these a lot to buy groceries as well (only 1% rebate on groceries, but when my family spends $400 a month on groceries at that store, it still adds up), but I still shopped smart. Staples (back-to-school) just had a huge promotion.  Clothing?  Gifts?  Planned trips (hotel stays, gas cards, restaurant gift certificates...my family routinely racked up about $2,000 a year from a handful of close friends helping out and ourselves.  Other families could do similarly and your team would soon be flush with cash...and it would be on-going.  Once you get into the habit of placing your orders 1-2x a month, it's just easy.

 

I know you hate fundraisers.  And, I'm certain your coach has a great reason (or thinks they do) for raising money for general fund -- and you do have valid concerns and frustrations.  Maybe finding something that you could at least minimally support, might be an easier way to broach the topic.

 

Lisa

[Callie]

I was gonna suggest the fake email accounts before I even read you did that.  I would be pissed off about the entire thing for all the reasons you listed especially the 5am punishment.  I won't/don't beg others for money either.  

[abba12]

That's absurd. I am fine with fundraisers, like bake sales, chocolate sales, whatever. I'll even usually buy a raffle ticket. But just asking for money? nope, isn't going to happen. I wont donate and I wont participate

 

Sounds like you came up with the best plan you could. 

[happypamama]

The asking for flat out donations would sit better with me than selling overpriced junk. I'd prefer to see people working for the money, even if it's a bake sale or car wash, but the selling of wrapping paper, etc. annoys me more. So I can see the flat donation request.

 

The rest would irritate me greatly -- giving out personal email addresses, the waste of money on backpacks, and the threat of 5am practice. I'm sorry you don't feel you should complain, because I'm sure I would want to!

[73349]

I wonder if your district has a policy about consequences for insufficient fundraiser participation, or about requiring minors to go online and solicit money. If not, a call to the superintendent's office making sure they know what's happening might lead to some changes in the future.

[Pippen]

I wonder if your district has a policy about consequences for insufficient fundraiser participation, or about requiring minors to go online and solicit money. If not, a call to the superintendent's office making sure they know what's happening might lead to some changes in the future.

 

Yeah, in many districts one phone call to the superintendent's office would put an end to that 5AM extra practice motivator. 

[mom2scouts]

For me, this is a "just say no" event. I wouldn't even bother to make fake email addresses because I would consider it both dishonest and a waste of effort. Let them try to institute a 5 am Sunday practice!

 

My daughter is in an activity that is a huge financial stretch for us. I was thrilled when they decided to do some fundraisers to help, until they had a 50/50 raffle required fundraiser.  I don't have people to ask for something like that and I'm not particularly fond of gambling in any form.  I ended up having to buy out my tickets and the fundraiser actually COST me money.  Since then I've made a strict rule that I will only participate in fundraisers that don't require me to spend more money on things I wouldn't normally buy than I'll earn.

[Valley Girl]

That's absolutely ridiculous. Personally, I'd be very annoyed with my relatives/friends if they gave my private e-mail address to a fundraising company. (I get enough junk e-mail now as a result of lists I choose to be on.) So I wouldn't do that to other people. If I had to, I'd handle it the way several here said they did--make up bogus addresses. But first, I'd give the people in charge the gift of feedback. Or maybe I'd just use the e-mail addresses for the coaches, principal, etc.

[4ofus]

I might be tempted to call coach's bluff.

 

I'm guessing 5 am Sunday morning practice would last 0 to 1 sessions.

 

It would likely be a dismal failure.

 

 

[Carol in Cal.]

I think setting up the fake email addys is brilliant.

 

And I second, third, and fourth Scrip.

 

I have a child in college and I love to buy and send her gift cards now and then.  Target and Starbucks are favorites.  Also, I like to buy Arco gas but they don't take credit cards and I don't usually have cash, so I buy those gift cards for myself and end up saving a lot of money relative to other company's prices.  I also buy grocery store cards this way.  Mostly this is money that I would spend anyway, but in doing so through Scrip I get to benefit a good cause AND I can place my spending into times when my checking account is relatively flush, but still buy gas and groceries without worrying about it (our income is somewhat variable).

[JumpyTheFrog]

I wouldn't participate by using fake email addresses becauae it only encourages the coach to try again next year. I might suggest to the girls that they revolt and call the coaches' bluff about Sunday practices.

[Pink and Green Mom]

That's absolutely ridiculous. Personally, I'd be very annoyed with my relatives/friends if they gave my private e-mail address to a fundraising company. (I get enough junk e-mail now as a result of lists I choose to be on.) So I wouldn't do that to other people. If I had to, I'd handle it the way several here said they did--make up bogus addresses. But first, I'd give the people in charge the gift of feedback. Or maybe I'd just use the e-mail addresses for the coaches, principal, etc.

 

Oh, I really like the idea of using the email for the coaches along with the principal, vice principal, athletic director, superintendent, all school board members, etc.

[SKL]

Yuck.  And I thought it was a pain to come up with 3 emails for my kids' recent "fundraiser" - but at least that was optional (to get a dumb watch).  3 emails you can send to the people most likely to put up with foolishness.  But 20?

 

I hope a lot of people complain about this sort of practice.  Solicitations are so annoying.  I prefer to make a direct $ donation and let others have the opportunity to solicit in my territory if they want to.

 

I would flat out say "no" to a 5am Sunday morning practice.

[Cinder]

Wow--that sounds so crazy! But now I'm wondering if groups around here are doing it because I see a lot fewer people--mostly cheerleaders and baseball teams--standing on streets either flat-out begging for donations or selling further overpriced Krispy Kreme donuts. Or maybe the police just decided to enforce panhandling laws.

[Southern Ivy]

I used to cheer and we did tons of fundraisers. We also had some ridiculously early practices. However, our participation in the fundraisers was not tied to punishment practices. That's poor management on the coach's part. 
For us, they kept track of our participation. We received a portion of the fundraisers we participated in; if we chose not to participate, no money for us. Which is pretty fair, imo. 

I have a serious issue with this fundraiser, too. I thought the purpose of fundraisers in these cases was to 1) raise money and 2) teach the value of hard work. No lesson on hard work and appreciation for raising money here. This is just technological panhandling. 
I'd have done the same as you. Fake email addresses all the way. 


Edited to fix bad capitalization and verb tense. 
 

[shawthorne44]

I would avoid ever giving money under a fake e-mail.   I wouldn't want to make ThePowersThatBe think that this stuff worked.  Because, honestly, that is the only way to stop that.  

Instead I would tell the coach that she isn't interested in another backpack.  

[plansrme]

 overpriced Krispy Kreme donuts. 

 

Well, most importantly, there is no such thing as overpriced Krispy Kreme donuts.  Mmmmm.

 

And yeah, I would be tempted to call his bluff.  After all, if there is practice at 5 AM, there has to be a coach, right?  (Insert evil laugh here.)

[bettyandbob]

Are you in contact with other parents? It might be helpful for the group to say this is insane

[JumpyTheFrog]

The parents and the kids need to put their foot down and revolt. Let the coach know you will not be bullied into begging and your kids will not be attending any extracurricular events of any kind at 5 am.

[zoobie]

I did something similar with Girl Scouts. I emailed all of our email addresses (I have 3, DH has 3, the kids each have 1), grandparents (3, with their permission and telling them to ignore it), then a group of Girl Scout moms all emailed each other. I loathe fundraising!!!

[LucyStoner]

Here's the thing. If it's something with a charitable endeavor, I would rather be asked for money that all goes to the cause than be asked to spend money were only a tiny bit of the money goes to the cause. This is why I am not a fan of wrapping paper sales and such like. As a professional fundraiser in a previous life, my donors vastly prefered to give meaningful amounts of cash that all went directly to the mission than have us put a lot of time and money into bake sale like endeavors.

 

That said, I'm not really convinced anything connected to most team sports besides a scholarship fund for at risk kids is a charitable endeavor.

[Cinder]

Well, most importantly, there is no such thing as overpriced Krispy Kreme donuts.  Mmmmm.

 

:laugh:   I know, blasphemy, right? But we prefer Dunkin.

 

 

Years ago--in another state--we developed a tradition with another family from church. About once a month we'd go straight to KK (it was nearby and the only donut shop around, no DD there) after church and load up on donuts, chocolate milk for the kids and coffee for us. It was crazy fun but boy, we'd all be so jittery afterwards. Sadly, when we visited years later, the KK had closed.

[Tap]

Here's the thing. If it's something with a charitable endeavor, I would rather be asked for money that all goes to the cause than be asked to spend money were only a tiny bit of the money goes to the cause. This is why I am not a fan of wrapping paper sales and such like. As a professional fundraiser in a previous life, my donors vastly prefered to give meaningful amounts of cash that all went directly to the mission than have us put a lot of time and money into bake sale like endeavors.

 

That said, I'm not really convinced anything connected to most team sports besides a scholarship fund for at risk kids is a charitable endeavor.

I absolutely agree.  When kids come around selling items, i usually just donate directly and don't buy the overpriced stuff.  I don't have a problem with collection jars or most other donation based ideas.

 

I don't like that they want to harass my friends/family and then to take the first $1200 and buy the girls team backpacks. I asked my daughter what kinds of things the team wanted to buy with the money and the only two she could name were a new stereo and speaker for performances (their current set up is not very good). All of the uniforms and gear are new except the team tumbling mats.  My guess is that the $1200 would have covered a great stereo and speaker.  Or the $1200 would have covered the scholarship cost of one cheerleader next year.  Or it could have been earmarked to help  pay for new mats when the current ones need replaced.

[Seasider]

I would loathe a fundraiser like that. I think you handled it brilliantly.

[Seasider]

I wouldn't participate by using fake email addresses becauae it only encourages the coach to try again next year. I might suggest to the girls that they revolt and call the coaches' bluff about Sunday practices.

I'd lead a revolt unless it would produce a bad outcome for my kid, as Tap has suggested. If enough people provide fake (thus nonresponsive) email addresses, perhaps the coach will realize this type of fundraiser is a failure.

[Reefgazer]

You tell them Sunday is a family day and is your mandatory day of rest/Sabbath and you won't be participating.  Period.  Then you don't go in on Sunday.

[Tap]

I know someone personally who works in the ASB office.  I called her today and asked if she knew if Cheer is a sport at this school, because if it is, there is a problem that I would want brought up to the director. Cheer can be a sport or an activity, it depends on the school. Sports fall under a stricter set  set of guidelines, and activities have another.  She said she thought it was and so I told her the story about the 5am practices on Sundays and that they are not allowed under the state rules for teams.  The cheer team is considering some competitions, so if anyone found out, it could get them disqualified.  She said she would look into it 'from an anonymous parent's comment' and let me know.  I haven't heard back.  

 

My daughter really doesn't care about the practices (she loves to practice).  She is fine going and we already did the emails, so I made sure the person I was talking to understood, we aren't trying to get out of doing something...... but we don't want the team getting in trouble for something a coach is doing without realizing she is breaking  league rules.  The coach is a competitive cheer coach and hasn't worked in a school program before.  I am guessing that she didn't put much thought into her 'motivator'. 

 

[Murphy101]

Wow.

 

Just...

 

I'd make it clear I thought every aspect of this fundraiser was inappropriate and not participate. Really I would do my best to phrase it better than that, but dang, I'd sure hope I didn't find out about it front of the coach bc I'd need some time to process that mess.

 

Ugh. Whenever people talk about socialization and the value of team sports, stuff like this just makes me tilt my head at them curiously and think, "Why would I ever want to socialize?"

[momto10blessings]

Here's the thing. If it's something with a charitable endeavor, I would rather be asked for money that all goes to the cause than be asked to spend money were only a tiny bit of the money goes to the cause. This is why I am not a fan of wrapping paper sales and such like. As a professional fundraiser in a previous life, my donors vastly prefered to give meaningful amounts of cash that all went directly to the mission than have us put a lot of time and money into bake sale like endeavors.

 

That said, I'm not really convinced anything connected to most team sports besides a scholarship fund for at risk kids is a charitable endeavor.

I agree. I'd rather give $10 cash than buy a $25 bucket of "gourmet popcorn" or something else I don't need.

I wouldn't be happy about giving emails.

[happypamama]

I agree. I'd rather give $10 cash than buy a $25 bucket of "gourmet popcorn" or something else I don't need.

I wouldn't be happy about giving emails.

Yes. That's why I don't mind car washes, because for $5 or so, you can get a service done without having to bother to do it yourself. Or a bake sale -- we held a Safety Day event last year, at which we had about 150 children and their parents, and we held a bake sale too, where we packaged items to cost fifty cents. So for a couple of bucks total, each of my children got to pick their own treat. Our group cleaned up! Like, we couldn't believe how much money we made!

 

But I also donated today to a couple of college students standing on a street corner with cans for THON. I don't need a service or item for that; just asking is good enough. Of course, they aren't collecting money to benefit themselves either, so maybe that's where I draw the line -- do something if you want the money for yourself, but just ask if you're collecting for a charity that doesn't directly serve you? But no $25 buckets of popcorn, please.

[Carrie12345]

I like the idea of an anonymous letter.  One that focuses on the fact that society generally looks down upon "please give cash toward my fun thing" requests, embarrassing parents and participants, and does not promote support, financially or otherwise.  And that nobody is motivated at 5am on Sundays.  And that whomever's in charge needs a lobotomy.

[DawnM]

Well, your last paragraph confirmed you did exactly as I was going to suggest you do!  Create fake emails and send them out.

 

For me, I would have started with the 8 email addresses we already have, and would have at least sent them to close friends and family who would have gotten a "Please ignore, but thanks for letting me use your email" letter (only to people I know wouldn't mind playing along.  I do have a few of those.)

 

This would really make me angry.

[Annie G]

I know someone personally who works in the ASB office.  I called her today and asked if she knew if Cheer is a sport at this school, because if it is, there is a problem that I would want brought up to the director. Cheer can be a sport or an activity, it depends on the school. Sports fall under a stricter set  set of guidelines, and activities have another.  She said she thought it was and so I told her the story about the 5am practices on Sundays and that they are not allowed under the state rules for teams.  The cheer team is considering some competitions, so if anyone found out, it could get them disqualified.  She said she would look into it 'from an anonymous parent's comment' and let me know.  I haven't heard back.  

 

My daughter really doesn't care about the practices (she loves to practice).  She is fine going and we already did the emails, so I made sure the person I was talking to understood, we aren't trying to get out of doing something...... but we don't want the team getting in trouble for something a coach is doing without realizing she is breaking  league rules.  The coach is a competitive cheer coach and hasn't worked in a school program before.  I am guessing that she didn't put much thought into her 'motivator'. 

 

I'm glad you called and that she's looking into it for you, but reading both your initial post and this one, you stated your case very differently to her. Your initial post was so on point that it's asking you to beg money- if you're not offering a service or a product in return, you are begging. And the rest of your points, such as giving out email addresses without a person's consent, etc. But then in the above second paragraph, you seem to only focus on the 5 AM practice getting the team in trouble. That seems to be leading them to believe you're fine with the whole fundraising project but not the punishment for not participating.  All that means is the coach will change the practice to another time or choose a different 'motivator' to get girls to comply.  

 

 

I guess I just thought your case was very strong when you were primarily arguing the foolishness of begging for money for backpacks.   I hope you were able to explain how you felt about the fundraiser and that it was just left out of your update in favor of providing details about how it might be resolved. 

[lmrich]

You already found your solution, but I like the idea of the coach, the administration staff, and the school board. I think I would also have thrown in the JV squad and football team. I bet the boys do not have to do this. 

[Tap]

I'm glad you called and that she's looking into it for you, but reading both your initial post and this one, you stated your case very differently to her. Your initial post was so on point that it's asking you to beg money- if you're not offering a service or a product in return, you are begging. And the rest of your points, such as giving out email addresses without a person's consent, etc. But then in the above second paragraph, you seem to only focus on the 5 AM practice getting the team in trouble. That seems to be leading them to believe you're fine with the whole fundraising project but not the punishment for not participating. All that means is the coach will change the practice to another time or choose a different 'motivator' to get girls to comply.

 

 

I guess I just thought your case was very strong when you were primarily arguing the foolishness of begging for money for backpacks. I hope you were able to explain how you felt about the fundraiser and that it was just left out of your update in favor of providing details about how it might be resolved.

You are right.

 

I am annoyed at the fundraiser altogether, that was my vent here.

 

My talking to the ASB office was about whether the consequence was legal.

 

 

I posted that part due to some posters wondering about the legality of it as well. (High school sports rules)

 

Before I write a formal letter, I want to have my facts straight. Part of that involves the practice 'motivator' and if it is legal or not. That is why I called my friend to ask, before I say anything.