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Stunned: Teen just not showing for a job. . .?


Alicia64
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DH is quizzing me like, "What's not to get?" but I can't imagine doing this to someone.

 

We were out all day long. I hired a teen home from college to come over once today and let the dog go potty. He's an indoor dog and not used to holding it for 7 to 10 hours.

 

We didn't know exactly how long we'd be gone. We left at 9:30 a.m. and thought we might be back at 7 p.m, but we weren't exactly sure.

 

I asked her if she could let our dog out to go potty between Noon and 2 and she said, "I can absolutely do 2:00 -- no problem."

 

Well, our day event ended earlier than we'd thought and we got home at 5:00. She clearly hadn't been here. I texted her and said, "Was there a miscommunication? Are you okay?"

 

I was actually worried that she'd been hurt and was in the hospital or something.

 

She texted me back that she'd "gotten caught up with family and was just coming over." At this point, it's 5:30 p.m.

 

???

 

She lives around the corner. She has a full scholarship to college which -- I assumed -- made me think "character," "integrity" etc.

 

I don't know her. I just knew that she taught swimming at our local pool and she seemed fantastic. That's how I met her.

 

I'm honestly stunned that she just blew the job off like she did.

 

She even told me what a dog lover she was, that she adored dogs etc. I bet if she'd gotten over here at 5:30, she was going to let me think that she'd handled our dog at 2:00 as planned.

 

Yeah, I'm stunned. I wasn't a perfect teen by a long shot, but I wouldn't have done this.

 

Alley

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Meh - she forgot.  As far as teen flightiness goes, I would actually consider this a fairly minor infraction.  She shouldn't have put herself out there for a gig like this.  I wouldn't hire her again, but I wouldn't necessarily tag her as a huge slacker for life either.  I hope she can recognize she shouldn't take jobs like this anymore.

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My high school and college kids report other kids just quit showing up, or my favorite, get hired and never show up that first time. I think you helper forgot but just bailing on a job seems to be pretty common. * these were a college kitchen job, Salvation Army child care, and dish room at a retirement community.

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If she didn't forget and actually was caught up I'd expect a phone all. If you don't fire her immediately, I'd communicate that very clearly, so everyone is on the same page. Teens are air headed at the best of times, but a paying job with a time specific task needs to be handled with some degree of seriousness, even by a teen.

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We left for a long weekend once. I called the lady supposed to watch our pets to see how they were doing. She told me she was too tired the day before to go and feed our dogs and let them out. She told me well it won't hurt the dogs to go a day without eating! Grr,

some people think they are just animals and don't think it is important  to take care of them. She probably didn't think a few hours would make a difference.

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Once when I was dog sitting for a neighbor I fell asleep and missed letting the dog out at 10PM. I woke up in a panic at 4AM and immediately went over.

 

I'm a typically responsible adult that just messed up. Doggie held it but I felt terrible.

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We left for a long weekend once. I called the lady supposed to watch our pets to see how they were doing. She told me she was too tired the day before to go and feed our dogs and let them out. She told me well it won't hurt the dogs to go a day without eating!

 

Wonder how she'd feel being without food or bathroom privileges for a day. Poor dogs.

 

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She probably forgot and was too embarrassed to admit it.

 

I'd be unhappy, but I wouldn't lecture her or anything. She probably realizes she messed up. 

 

I was once asked to watch an animal in the neighborhood about a week or so before I was to start. I said sure, and the first day I was supposed to do so, I totally forgot. I am a responsible, busy adult and this thing slipped my mind. I cleaned up the mess left by the pet, notified the owner, and set daily reminders on my phone from that time forward. I shouldn't have forgotten, but I did, but it also doesn't mean I am a a person of bad character or anything. For multiple years now I have continued to watch aforementioned animal with no mishaps.

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In this instance, I would chalk it up to just forgetting.  IMO, it is a teeny bit different than not showing up for a typical job.  (not that it makes it ok, but I can see the different mind set)

 

That said, unfortunately not showing up for work is becoming rather common.  My daughter had to cover for other people a lot this summer at her job.  

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Well, I wouldn't hire her again.  It's not uncommon, though.  My daughter is currently dog-sitting.  We run her over twice a day, in the morning to feed, water, and let them out, and in the evening to put them in their kennels for the night (and play with them a bit both times).  My oldest son will soon be starting a regular 3 times a week job of letting some dogs out to potty and play with them mid-day.  According to the owners (3 of them between all these dogs), it is not easy to find teens who come to do their jobs regularly.  Many just blow it off and figure it's just a dog, it won't hurt to skip just one time.  I teach my kids that when they make a commitment they follow through (and it doesn't matter if you are getting paid or not - your word needs to be worth something).

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Dogs are living creatures.  I would be very angry because I see that as abuse to the animal.  If there was a mess, you can bet she would be asked to clean it up.  She probably did forget but we happen to live in an age where we can set reminders for us on phones and other devices, not to mention paper calendars or post-it notes.  

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My guess is she didn't mark the calendar or make a note for herself so she forgot. When you called, the "I was just heading over" was a cover. Chances are if you had not called, nor gotten home early, she would never have "remembered".

 

I would simply hire someone else next time because she is probably too busy. Her comment when you said between noon and two, "I can definitely do two" was an indication that she was booked with something up to then, and a sign that maybe she already had a bit on her plate.

 

 

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Basically she was just a couple hours late? I think it's irresponsible but not astonishingly horrible.

 

Not a couple of hours - the OP said "noon to 2" and the girl picked 2, so she was already at the end of the time frame.  Then was showing up at 5:30.  What was really even the point?  The dog had not been out since 9:30.

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Par for the course.  Our dc attend college with many late teen kids and older.  They 'forget' everything from homework to tests to showing up to work on (big!) projects when they say they'll definitely be there at a certain time and much more.  Sometimes they text, usually they don't - they just don't show up.  

 

Unfortunately very true.  Which is why I am super-strict about this with DD.  

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My boss also oversees a separate job function from mine, and most of that crew are college students.  The ones that are responsible and utterly dependable are maybe one in six or seven.  The rest come (roughly) when they want (arrive late, leave early), don't follow directions completely, and do a mediocre job.  I would HATE her job.

 

On the other hand, I have known some teens and young adults who have a *fantastic* work ethic.  And some adults who do not.

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That really sucks. I'd be shocked too. I don't think it's acceptable to write off as a teenager thing. Half the board advocates letting 4 year olds babysit their infant siblings (hyperbole ;) ), so an 18 year old should be old enough to be responsible for a dog's potty break! I hope your pup didn't make a mess.

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I would be shocked, too, and not happy about it. I think 18 years is old enough to be responsible and show up at the arranged time. We are talking about a living animal, not picking up the mail. And if she forgot, she needs to admit it. If she admitted to forgetting and apologized, sincerely, I would seriously consider giving her another chance. I got caught up with family doesn't work for me. We all make mistakes, but you need to own up to them.

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Thank you everyone! I'm kind of doubting she forgot: I think it was just easier to fly in at the last second, potty him and get the money. (At least that was her plan I suspect.)

 

We arrived home early so I realized she hadn't been here -- and the dog was fine. Thank you for worrying about him!

 

I wasn't so much angry as disappointed. She didn't even apologize. Wouldn't you at least apologize?!

 

This was a one time thing although I indicated that we'd love to use her for various pet sitting jobs in the future when she's home from college. She goes back in late Aug.

 

Just disappointed. I'm going to bug my boys about never, ever doing this to people or animals (not that they would).

 

Thanks again!

 

Alley

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I would be shocked, too, and not happy about it. I think 18 years is old enough to be responsible and show up at the arranged time. We are talking about a living animal, not picking up the mail. And if she forgot, she needs to admit it. If she admitted to forgetting and apologized, sincerely, I would seriously consider giving her another chance. I got caught up with family doesn't work for me. We all make mistakes, but you need to own up to them.

 

I should have added: she's actually 19 so plenty old enough to know better. And, yeah, the "I got caught up w/ family" comment is so not cool.

 

I agree: say "I forgot" or "I blew it; I'm sorry." But no apology.

 

And this girl is your all-American, full scholarship to college in swimming person.

 

Whatever. I think I've moved from disappointed to angry.

 

On another note: I heard of a company that was interviewing people just out of college at like 7:30 a.m. to see who was serious about the job. I thought, that is one good idea. (And now I get why there's a need for it.)

 

Thanks again,

 

Alley

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I would be angry. Regardless of money exchanging hands, when you say you're going to do something, you DO IT. When you're being paid to do something specific? You don't just blow it off. When a living creature suffers for your negligence? I would be very upset.

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We left for a long weekend once. I called the lady supposed to watch our pets to see how they were doing. She told me she was too tired the day before to go and feed our dogs and let them out. She told me well it won't hurt the dogs to go a day without eating! 

 

What is wrong with people?!?   :ohmy:  :mad:  :crying:

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I'd be disappointed but not surprised.  This is one of the biggest things I've tried to teach my kids -- reliability.  It has meant sticking my nose in their business even when they're older...  That is, even if they were college-aged, I'd probably still ask them at some point during the day (if they were home), "Are you remembering to let the neighbor's dog out?  Did you set an alarm on your phone so you remember?"  Hopefully they'll own this responsibility themselves eventually! 

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I would be disappointed but also not surprised.  I have a wonderful adult pet sitter who is extremely reliable but I still shoot her a text on the day of the first visit because I am paranoid about something similar happening.  It is just too easy for it to slip the mind of someone who does not do this as a regular job.  My own dd (11 yo) does pet sitting for several families and I have to remind her almost every time.

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For many 18-19 year olds a random $20 job, especially in the middle of the doesn't capture their attention as important and they don't prioritize it. Yes, this means some would disregard a living thing. 

 

Most people that age have jobs where they are guaranteed mores hours and therefore more pay. Plus, someone with a scholarship might not be hurting for the cash so much. 

 

My dd started pet sitting at 8. She wanted to make money and loved animals. I helped her start. I went to jobs with her, but she did all the work for a couple years. When she was 11 she was going to jobs on her own, but I did have to remind her of the schedule occassionally. At 13 she advertised to our whole neighborhood so she could get more work --she had been just working for people we knew closely-- and managed the business on her own. At 17 she pet sits occassionally, but she has another job and has less time. 

 

My ds is a lifeguard, he just picked up 4 hour shifts for the rest of the most because another 20 year old didn't think it was worth coming to work for just 4 hours (he's coming for his 7  - 8 hour shifts. but dropped the 4 hour ones). So, yes in this age bracket there are people who don't want to bother with some paid work. 

 

I think for pet sitting you either go with a pro or start with someone around 12-14 who is interested in working but can't get a job yet (if they are good, they may continue to do jobs for you when they around in college. 

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I'd be disappointed but not surprised. This is one of the biggest things I've tried to teach my kids -- reliability. It has meant sticking my nose in their business even when they're older... That is, even if they were college-aged, I'd probably still ask them at some point during the day (if they were home), "Are you remembering to let the neighbor's dog out? Did you set an alarm on your phone so you remember?" Hopefully they'll own this responsibility themselves eventually!

I was thinking about this, too, on the OP's behalf. I do think it's tricky to find the line between letting them be responsible for their own life and overseeing when necessary to make sure they are not being flaky. With my own DD, as it comes near mid-day, I sometimes memtion the dog-walking gig, sometimes don't mention it, but for sure, if she was apparently "forgetting" about it, I would speak up. I even give her tips as to how she can go above and beyond because that is how you can be remembered as an outstanding employee.

 

Of course, it is entirely possible for parents to be the other way - "Come on, kid, go berry-picking with us. You can walk the dog when you get home. The dog won't die if you go three hours late."

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We left for a long weekend once. I called the lady supposed to watch our pets to see how they were doing. She told me she was too tired the day before to go and feed our dogs and let them out. She told me well it won't hurt the dogs to go a day without eating! Grr,

some people think they are just animals and don't think it is important to take care of them. She probably didn't think a few hours would make a difference.

What? Ooo let me at her.

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If you do use her again (big if, I know) because it is convenient for you, I'd call her when she's supposed to go over or a little before and make sure she's taking care of the dog and request a confirmation text or phone call when she's done. She clearly needs more supervision. And, maybe have her do a few trial runs, when you'll really just be back in 2 hours or so, but don't mention this to her, to make sure she does her job and the dog doesn't suffer and you can salvage the situation if need be. But if she's only home during the summer, she may not be worth the trouble.

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My boss also oversees a separate job function from mine, and most of that crew are college students.  The ones that are responsible and utterly dependable are maybe one in six or seven.  The rest come (roughly) when they want (arrive late, leave early), don't follow directions completely, and do a mediocre job.  I would HATE her job.

 

On the other hand, I have known some teens and young adults who have a *fantastic* work ethic.  And some adults who do not.

 

I would agree with the one in 6 or 7.

Even my 14 year old, who has her first job this summer as a maid, is noticing that the college students (and high school) can be slackers.  She constantly mentions that she and her partner do twice the work in half the time and her boss has confirmed it to me but with a "what can you do?" attitude so I guess it is common.

 

I am sure she just forgot, but that doesn't make it ok.  Personally, I would expect better if I am paying someone to do something, even if it isn't an "important" job.  But hey, I've been constantly surprised at the lack of work ethic in teens and young adults I've hired to do things.  You should have seen my home the last time I asked a twenty something to house sit.

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I am shocked at the number of grown adults who simply don't turn up for work one day. I have had it happen too many times to count, now. I think in my case they think, it is just a restaurant. But the trouble is, dh and I cover for them so it runs us ragged. We are rehiring someone who did that twice, today. I am not happy about it but he is a good cook and we are desperate for one. I am NEVER going to trust him, though. I will not leave him to work on a day dh and I are not there.

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Awhile ago we hired a highschooler down the street to babysit ever Wednesday for 2 hours. She is the older sister of my boys best friend. So the job was easy. She could read, do school work, ... We were fine with her babysitting at either house, or taking her brother along. We paid 25 dollars. We were signed up for dancing lessons so it was once a week for 8 weeks. 

 

In those 8 weeks, she missed once due to illness. Once because of a family engagement, and the last two because she decided it was more important to stay home and study. Her Mom thought all this showed how responsible her daughter was putting family and education before work. Needless to say we did not hire her again. 

 

 

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I'm stunned anyone would be stunned. I've worked many low paying jobs and it was a pretty typical thing for adults and teens not to show up.  That was one of the most frustrating aspects of working at those jobs.  Sometimes we'd have a very hard and bad day because people just would not show up.  But I can't say there is a ton of motivation to show up for such a low paying job. 

 

 

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I'm stunned anyone would be stunned. I've worked many low paying jobs and it was a pretty typical thing for adults and teens not to show up.  That was one of the most frustrating aspects of working at those jobs.  Sometimes we'd have a very hard and bad day because people just would not show up.  But I can't say there is a ton of motivation to show up for such a low paying job. 

 

I hear you: I do.

 

But she'd just been in my house the day prior, meeting the dog, giving me a tee shirt so he'd know her smell etc. She was super friendly and intelligent. Plus she lives around the corner.

 

Before leaving she gave me a full itinerary of when she's back in town from college: December break, spring break etc. I didn't even ask! I thought she was making it clear to me that she was happy to work if we needed her.

 

That's why I was surprised: I'd just met her in the house. So within 24 hrs. she flaked out? Just surprised me.

 

Plus if you don't want a quickie one time job. . . why not just say "no??"

 

Re: long term pet sitting. I ALWAYS go with an adult. I flat out won't use kids or busy moms. I make sure to get someone solid. And we now have a camera that only videos feet -- we don't invade anyone's privacy. But we know when he comes, how long he stays etc. We're tired of wondering.

 

AND I have sitters call me when they first arrive. Which I'd asked her to do in the note I left. That she never read. Because she didn't show.

 

Alley

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