Describe your dream life--if you were alone

[Garga]

The threads about losing oneself and regaining a sense of self and threads about hobbies has got me thinking. Who am I without my family? What do I want?

 

To figure out who I am and what I want I asked myself, how would I live if I was single without kids? I didn't worry about how to fund anything. This is just an exercise to try to figure out who I am and what I like and to see if I can start implementing any of it into my current situation in life.

 

This is for fun.

 

I'd live in an apartment because I don't want to keep up with a yard. It MUST be sunny in my apartment.

 

I would have at least 3 cats.

 

I would decorate in a shabby chic style with lots of pastels and whites. I would be mostly minimalist. I like that Japanese woman and her book about tidying up. I would have very few things and only things I love.

 

I would work at a public library in a small town where the patrons are mostly well-behaved. I just want to play with the books and do simple things for my job.

 

I would enter lots of photography contests. I don't want to do photography for a living (too much pressure), but in order to keep my skills sharp I'd need a goal.

 

I would drive a mini. Just a mini. Not a minivan. I want to go back to the days where I can fit into any parking spot in the world. Small, compact, great turning diameter.

 

I would go to a gym for exercise and hire a trainer for a while to get me on track. I'd exercise daily. I would take karate lessons.

 

I would rarely cook. I'd eat whatever is easy to make and fast. I'd probably eat a lot of cereal. No, not healthy, but honest.

 

I'd want just a few good friends. I'm thinking three.

 

I'd go on a 2 week trip to a different European country each year.

 

I think that sums it up. How would you live if you could control all those things above? It doesn't have to be different from how you live now. It's just an exercise to try to find out who you are.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd work in a dimly lit basement lab without many people coming through.  The work would be challenging, but not involve too much people interaction.  I'd have 10 cats, but hire someone else to clean their litter boxes.  I'd go out to eat everyday because it's hard to cook gourmet food for one.

 

LMAO

 

 

[PrincessMommy]

As an introvert I've thought about this far more than is probably healthy.  :)

 

I'd love a small unusually shaped house in the woods.  I'd link to some I've looked at but I think there's probably copy write issues.  I'd have chickens, my loom, and one room set aside as an Orthodox chapel with lots of incense and icons. 

 

I'd work in hospice care somehow.  Hours would be unusual, but that's fine since I don't need to worry about others.

[Liz CA]

I'd live in a cottage by the sea. I'd have a dog, grow veggies and ambush the salmon boat for dinner.  :laugh:

[Farrar]

I'd travel a lot more. Travel solo is so much cheaper. In fact, I might join what I think of as "the traveling class." The people who just work to travel and then travel for months as cheaply as possible. When I lived that way briefly when I was younger, there was a lovely anonymity to it. It was so easy to be alone and yet also so easy to meet people - your fellow travelers.

[FaithManor]

I would live in a cottage...something very small, with a tiny bit of yard and hire a local teen to keep it mowed. Nothing else to maintain on the outside, no flower gardens, nothing.

 

Then, I'd live out of a backpack/carry-on. I love to travel, and family all over the United States plus some in foreign locales as well as friends with "Doctors Without Borders" so I would volunteer a lot in their clinics while seeing the world. Staying busy outside of home I think would make the loss of dh easier for me to cope with as long as my health allowed it. When home, I would do what I do now which is play classical music, do geeky science projects with 4H students, and quilt. If there are grandchildren, I would be the mover, shaker granny that takes those kids all over the place and broadens their horizons.

[gingersmom]

I would live in the country in a big house full of German Shepherds. Close proximity to the ocean would be nice :)

 

I would spend my days doing volunteer work and travel to Europe whenever I wanted to.

[J-rap]

I'd live in the heart of NYC with a dog, in an pre-WWII era small apartment, and would be a writer. 

[bibiche]

I would be independently weathy and live in France or Italy, maybe Latin America.  I could live in a small place, but it would need to have high ceilings, good light, and interesting architectural details. I would travel a lot. And have many dinner parties.  And always have flowers.

[KungFuPanda]

I think I'd live a lot like I do now, but I'd teach more dance classes and pass on fewer dance events. I simply cannot attend everything that interests me, or offer all of the classes I want, because my family interests me too. However, I have single friends who make it to almost everything. Oh, and I definitely wouldn't want a house.

[Wheres Toto]

Small house either in the woods or on the beach someplace very very quiet.  Somewhere with nice weather all year round.  I'd travel a lot to foreign cities and to natural areas.  

 

I'd spend a lot of time reading and watching favorite movies.  Probably have cats and a small dog.

[mellifera33]

Modern apartment in the city, with Eames and Le Corbusier furniture. I would work as an archivist in an academic library, and play old-time music on the side. I would travel with a like-minded friend. :) 

 

But really, living alone is not good for me. I'm better off with my rug rats and husband. :)

[Greta]

Just for fun, and not worrying about funding? I'd live in London!

 

A small apartment in central London would be my wildest dream come true. I wouldn't own a car, wouldn't want one, because I would walk and use the tube to get around. I'd go to plays, performances, museums, and of course pubs, constantly.

 

I would work as a medical lab tech -- not the typical dream job, I realize. But it would suit me well. I have a background in biology and a desire to help the sick, BUT I'm a super shy introvert who doesn't want a job interacting with people, and who wants something low-stress enough to leave it all behind at the end of the day. (And yes, I realize that it's not the kind of job that would pay for an apartment in central London, but this is just a fantasy!)

 

I'd have one small, perfectly trained, non-shedding dog. :)

 

I would decorate my apartment in a very minimalist fashion, modern but still comfortable.

 

I would be really active in my parish.

 

I have thought about this, even before the question was asked. :D

 

ETA: I forgot to mention that I would also take full advantage of the beautiful parks in London! I would go there to run, to watch birds, to soak up the sunshine on sunny days, etc. London has gorgeous parks!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

As an introvert I've thought about this far more than is probably healthy.  :)

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  I was thinking the same thing! In my head is a place where I envision all of the things I'll do and places I'll go and the way I'll live "someday." Except...in my head I'm doing all of them alone, and I don't think DH is going anywhere for a good long while :lol:

 

My dream life is conflicted. DH and I were just talking last night and I was saying that in my fantasy world, where money is no object, when the kids are gone I'd go back to school for an Master's in art history. If I did that, I could see myself moving back to Manhattan and working in a museum there, living alone in a little studio with at least one cat.

 

However, I'm also experiencing a VERY strong pull toward living in a little cottage on a mini-farm with a giant garden and chickens and milk goats. 

 

I can also see myself living an RV, always on the go. 

 

I'm a restless soul  :willy_nilly: We've lived here for 12 years now, and I'm getting incredibly itchy to go experience life somewhere else. DH is not that kind of guy. His family is here, so this is where we're planted for good. 

 

If I were truly ever living alone, I'd probably never settle down for more than a few years anywhere!

[fairfarmhand]

I'd live in the English country side, raise sheep and a milk cow. Have some chickens and a LOVELY flower garden.

 

I'd write, raise my own food, and wear a tiara.

[lllll]

..

[ssavings]

I'm an extreme introvert, so I've thought of this quite a few times. 

For me, I'd have to be cautious not to completely isolate myself.

I'd live in a small apartment on the beach/beach area (walking distance). Studio-sized would be fine. No animals, except maybe a few beautiful fish in a perfect tank. I'd love a balcony to grow big pots of herbs. 

I'd go to the gym at least 5x/week, hire a trainer, and focus on being healthy. 

I'd do more cooking (because it'd be just for me, and I can cook what I want!). 

I'd work... maybe in a bookstore? Or a small library? Somewhere small, surrounded by books, mostly quiet. 

I'd be active in book clubs and other groups (to keep myself from isolating).
 

I'd spent most of my nights alone, drinking a glass of wine and doing crafts while watching television. :)

I've been married for 10 years (since I was 22), so it's hard for me to imagine my life like this.

That being said, I think pondering the ideal of what a single life could be is a good exercise for me, because it brings me ideas that I can incorporate into my "real life right now" that would be just for me.  For example, I can't promise 5 days at the gym, but I can go back to my trainer, do the gym a few days a week, and have the trainer create easy and do-able home workouts.
I can't watch TV, drink wine, and do crafts in front of the television every night - but one night a week when I don't work, DH can take off early to do bedtime so I can spend time crafting in front of the TV with a glass of wine...
 

[Word Nerd]

I would travel and write a lot and have a cozy place in a warm climate to retreat to. 

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Live on a quiet lake in a small cottage. Minimal furnishings. Id'd kayak, practice yoga, read and drink coffee.

[Maus]

I'd own a class B motorhome, or possibly two (one parked in the U.S. and one parked in Europe), a passport, a few dozen really good books, a few changes of clothes, my.smart phone,.and very little else.

[Pawz4me]

Fantasy -- I'd live in a cozy cabin in the mountains with an awesome view.  Maybe a nice creek nearby, but nothing that would be a flooding concern.  The cabin would be quaint but at the same time have all the modern conveniences and everything would work reliably.  There would be miles and miles of hiking trails nearby.  There wouldn't be neighbors anywhere around my cabin, but I'd only be a ten minute or so drive from a smallish town with a good grocery store, drug store, health care, etc.  I'd have a non-stressful part-time job just to keep myself from isolating too much.  A dog or three.  I'd spend lots of time on the deck with the awesome view, reading and drinking coffee and just being.

 

Reality -- I'd probably live in this same area, just in a smaller house.  And I'd probably still have the same stressful job I had pre-kids.

[The Girls' Mom]

I, too, have thought about this more than is probably healthy! lol.  I've been married my entire adult life, plus a couple, and it seems like a weird pipe dream to think about.

 

I have a neighborhood picked out in a nearby city.  It is close to the lake, and has walking/biking trails all over.  Heaven.  I'd have a small house, but room for an office and an art studio.  I would have a small garden out back, but a small, flat yard that was easy to maintain.

 

In my dream life, my job would just be independently wealthy ;)  But I'd take a work from home accounting job, with illustration on the side.  

 

I would have a big stupid dog.  

 

I would cook all the foodie meals, and eat all the sushi I could stand.  

 

I would have a bike with a small trailer, and ride to do all my errands.  I would kayak often.  

 

I would never have to clean man pee off a toilet, or consult with another adult as stubborn as I am about any decisions. 

 

I would have music playing all the time and whatever volume I liked.

 

I would attend all the bajillion festivals that go on around here.

 

 

[Mandylubug]

I'd want to be in a beach cottage with no yard upkeep or in an apartment upstairs in a downtown small town. I would need a cafe and coffee shop near by. Also a bookstore. Free green space to roam trails, see birds, enjoy the sun. Not terribly humid. Or if humid, a constant sea breeze. No long winters of snow.

[Um_2_4]

I would buy and fix up an older large house I used to drive by often and turn it into a private girl's only Islamic 7th -12th grade school. I would be the headmistress  :lol: and live there. All students would have personal study programs with one-on-one tutoring, group classes for content areas, some project based learning, chores around the school, take turns helping in the garden/kitchen, all eat lunch together family style, etc. The school would host lots of events, etc for the families. And of course like 4 cat mascots. :laugh:

So basically you'd still see me here looking for new ideas. :lurk5:

[mathnerd]

I would be mostly minimalist. I like that Japanese woman and her book about tidying up. I would have very few things and only things I love.

 

 

Do you have a link? I would love to read that book.

[Greta]

If I did that, I could see myself moving back to Manhattan and working in a museum there, living alone in a little studio with at least one cat.

 

However, I'm also experiencing a VERY strong pull toward living in a little cottage on a mini-farm with a giant garden and chickens and milk goats.

I was going to say that it's really interesting to find out who are the city girls and who are the country gals, but then you just had to go and confuse things. :D

 

I can also see myself living an RV, always on the go.

 

I'm a restless soul :willy_nilly: We've lived here for 12 years now, and I'm getting incredibly itchy to go experience life somewhere else. DH is not that kind of guy. His family is here, so this is where we're planted for good.

 

If I were truly ever living alone, I'd probably never settle down for more than a few years anywhere!

I can relate to this! We have lived here for 16 years now, and I think that's about 11 years too long. I'm sick of it!

[madteaparty]

I'd travel a lot more. Travel solo is so much cheaper. In fact, I might join what I think of as "the traveling class." The people who just work to travel and then travel for months as cheaply as possible. When I lived that way briefly when I was younger, there was a lovely anonymity to it. It was so easy to be alone and yet also so easy to meet people - your fellow travelers.

My DH used to work with a lady like this. They only had one child and homeschooled him to high school if I recall. She and her DH did many solo trips. I regret losing touch with them.

For me: I'd keep my house in the country but add a small apt two hours away in NYC, near a park because I constantly worry about air quality when I live there.

I'd take at least 4 trips a year, two with my kids, one with my husband and one with my sisters. Oh and one solo, why not;). My returning discipline and any illusions of talent would propel me to actually write and my books would either not sell at all or sell without me doing any sort of publicity for them so I that I dont compromise my introverted self.

[Garga]

Do you have a link? I would love to read that book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering/dp/1607747308

 

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Now, be warned, the woman goes a little off the deep end worrying that socks that are bundled into balls in a drawer are unhappy at rolling around, so she suggests laying they flat. She also talks to her possessions and is clearly a single woman in a small apartment.

 

But, if you can get past a bit of her woo-woo talk about being tidy, it's a nice little book. I did take a number of things away from it that were useful. (Gonna PM you, too, because WTM doesn't notify people if they've been quoted.)

[marbel]

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who does this.  I do feel a little guilty, imagining my life without my husband.  The kids I expect to be up and out at some point, but the man...  I'm pretty sure I'd miss him.

 

I have various and conflicting thoughts on this.

 

Sometimes I want to live alone in a townhouse or other place with no yard to worry about.  Other times I want a cottage with a garden.  Occasionally I want to live in New York City or downtown Portland so I never have to drive again.  But sometimes I long for a solo road trip.  

 

Sometimes though I want to live in a big place that groups could rent for retreats.  I have been on some wonderful, restful retreats in large homes and I loved the atmosphere.  I would cook (or let the retreat groups cook) but would have help to clean.  

 

Not too long ago two adjacent huge properties with very large (formerly) luxurious houses were demolished.  I got to go through them during the pre-demo sale.  One of them started the retreat fantasy.  It had a huge number of ensuite bedroom/bathrooms, a commercial kitchen, and lots of space for groups to meet.  The grounds were lovely.  I think there was a tennis court.  Of course it would have required a huge fortune to buy and fix the place up - which is why the houses were demolished instead of purchased.  But, wow. 

 

In all cases I would have ample time, space, and materials for sewing, needlework, and reading.  

[Wabi Sabi]

I would be a international relief worker for CARE, UNICEF, or a similar organization.

[mommymonster]

As an introvert, I might have thought about this quite a bit... I would live in a beach community in Washington state, in a condo on the ocean. I'd be a waitress and volunteer at the local library and community gardens. Off hours would be spent surfing and playing with my dog, a small lab mix named Frigga.  :001_smile:

 

 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I was going to say that it's really interesting to find out who are the city girls and who are the country gals, but then you just had to go and confuse things. :D

 

 

I can relate to this! We have lived here for 16 years now, and I think that's about 11 years too long. I'm sick of it!

 

Oh yeah, I'm a mess. I want it all :lol: When we moved from the city to the suburbs, I was ready to be done with the city. Now, after 12 years here, I'm soooo sick of the burbs I can hardly stand it and am ready for a more rural life. Of course, whenever we drive through the city, I'm the first to say, "When the kids have moved out, let's seriously look into moving back here!" NYC and I have an on-again-off-again love story going back to my childhood :D

 

Yeah, I've been ready to move for quite awhile now. DH is not like that. He spent his first 25 years in one apartment in the city, and he's ready to spend his next 25 here. Blech!

[The Girls' Mom]

I was going to say that it's really interesting to find out who are the city girls and who are the country gals, but then you just had to go and confuse things. :D

 

 

 

 

I've lived both lives.  I miss the city :(  But really, I want both worlds.  I want to be on the edge of the city with easy access to everything, but close enough to the edge that when the zombie apocalypse comes I can get out of dodge quickly.   :zombiechase:

[hornblower]

I think I'd be doing pretty much the same things I am now. 

My home would be messier.

[Tap]

I would have to pick between two.....

 

A top floor apartment in downtown Portland Oregon, on the park blocks.  Must be top floor so no one is above me, and very,very well sound insulated. For work, I wouldn't mind my old job there, which was working in a local pharmacy. 

 

 

A two bedroom cabin (so my grown up kids could visit for the weekend), around 1000sqft. It would be on a stream so I would always hear the water running. It would be all natural outside, with no lawn to maintain.  I would want it to be no more than 45 minutes to a decent sized city.  

 

 

[Greta]

I've lived both lives. I miss the city :( But really, I want both worlds. I want to be on the edge of the city with easy access to everything, but close enough to the edge that when the zombie apocalypse comes I can get out of dodge quickly. :zombiechase:

That's nice - both the fact that you've been able to live both lives, and that idea of living on the edge of a large city.

 

I grew up in a semi-rural area just outside of a town of 20,000 people. I have less than zero desire to go back to that.

 

I've never lived in a big city, only visited. So maybe it's just that the grass is always greener, but I really want to live in a city - a REAL city. The one I live in right now is half a million people, and it's interesting for about three days. I've been here 16 years.

 

My husband grew up in Pittsburgh and doesn't particularly want to live in a big city again. He'd be happiest in a small town in Colorado.

[Greta]

Oh yeah, I'm a mess. I want it all :lol: When we moved from the city to the suburbs, I was ready to be done with the city. Now, after 12 years here, I'm soooo sick of the burbs I can hardly stand it and am ready for a more rural life. Of course, whenever we drive through the city, I'm the first to say, "When the kids have moved out, let's seriously look into moving back here!" NYC and I have an on-again-off-again love story going back to my childhood :D

 

Yeah, I've been ready to move for quite awhile now. DH is not like that. He spent his first 25 years in one apartment in the city, and he's ready to spend his next 25 here. Blech!

I suspect that if you have the wealth to live there, NYC is probably one of the most fun places in the world to live. We lived upstate for a couple of years and I'm basing that impression only on the few visits that we made during that time.

 

The problem is that all of the desirable places to live have such high costs of living. What is up with that, anyway? :lol:

[wintermom]

I'd work in a dimly lit basement lab without many people coming through.  The work would be challenging, but not involve too much people interaction.  I'd have 10 cats, but hire someone else to clean their litter boxes.  I'd go out to eat everyday because it's hard to cook gourmet food for one.

 

LMAO

 

I would be your quirky friend who would force feed you vit D and drag you outdoors for some fresh air and exercise. I would come and play with your cats, too, and praise you on your brilliance in hiring a litter box cleaning person.

[Greta]

My home would be messier.

I've always thought that if I lived alone, my home would be neater, because it wouldn't be filled up with other people's crap. :lol:

[wintermom]

I've always thought that if I lived alone, my home would be neater, because it wouldn't be filled up with other people's crap. :lol:

 

This would be my initial assumption, too, then reality would hit. ;)

[Lawyer&Mom]

You'll find me studying something obscure in a medieval university town. Where I walk everywhere and eat nothing but fresh pastries and amazing cheese.

[Mommy22alyns]

Aaaaah... I would visit every single MLB stadium.  And I'd have awesome seats because I'd only need one ticket.  My house would be a library.  I'd eat a lot of sushi that somebody else made for me.  I'd probably be a well-known regular at a local sushi place.  I would HAVE a local sushi place.  I would probably have at least one kitty, but I like Wendy's suggestion of a litter box cleaner. I'd have a house cleaner too to keep my allergies at bay.  

[Mommy22alyns]

Oops, DP.  I'll add in that I'd find a job somewhere cuddling babies, then giving them back.

[Ausmumof3]

My previous dream was to have a house on an island at the top of the hill with a beautiful orchard and lots of pets. There was a fireplace and the kettle was always ready for a coffee and there was always hot fruit bread toasting on the fire.

 

Well minus the island bit, that is my current life only the pets are my daughters and the kettle is always boiling so I can live on coffee to stay awake!

 

When I dream now it's a little tiny house or apartment with exactly the right furniture in the right places, small and maintainable with no clutter. It has a heater and air conditioner that you just switch on at the wall and is next to a library on one side and an awesome wood on the other with talking trails. Also there is a cleaner. Also you can eat as much chocolate as you like without getting fat.

[Jennifer132]

I would do one of two things--

 

Maybe I would settle down in a rural part of the U.S., like maybe central CA, and teach at a poor, rural elementary school. I'd devote myself to my students and to my community. I would raise animals (chickens, rabbits), live fairly simply, and be heavily involved in a small or home based church.

 

Or maybe I would move to China and work either in an orphanage or as a teacher and again serve the rural poor. I would learn the language, serve the community and devote my life to children. Maybe I would start a home church for locals.

[hornblower]

I've always thought that if I lived alone, my home would be neater, because it wouldn't be filled up with other people's crap. :lol:

 

Oh no, I know I'm messy. 

 

I clean up & straighten only because otherwise..... people touch and move my stuff >sob< 

 

My careful piles, my visual memory of exactly where that item is because I was standing there & doing this when I had it in my hand, it's all screwed up because someone will come by & pick it up and move it (he calls it 'putting it away'. :glare: )

 

 

[Guest]

Well, I do feel envy sometimes over my friend from high school, who is single and childless. She teaches English in Beijing and travels extensively. (Not that I especially want to be in Beijing, but the other parts of how she has balanced work with doing whatever the hell she wants. :)

 

What I like: a cottage with 3 cats. Furniture: old/antique/found treasures. I must have a bit of land, so I can garden and keep chickens. Maybe a studio in back where I teach yoga and write, draw and play the cello. A fit, handsome man comes once a month and takes care of my maintenance needs, whatever they may be. ;) I meant fixing the sink, but okay, whatever they may be.

 

I see my best friends once every few weeks, when we have dinner at the authentic Italian place that serves great Sangria. These friends would sometimes accompany me on my extensive travel; other times I would strike out alone. My handsome maintenance guy would keep my chickens and cats while I am gone.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I'm an extrovert so I'd be busily seeing to it that I wasn't alone ;)

 

Seriously, I'd own my own little yoga studio/ gym where people hang out and I'd be there a lot to get my " family" fix. I'd join a couple book clubs. I would take courses through the park or local college. I would be involved in my church. I would not sit home because my introvert husband didn't want to go out.

 

I would like a small craftsman bungalow and would decorate in that more minimalist style. It would have a small yard I could fill with a lounge chair and flowers. It would be near a park or nature area for hiking and running.

 

I would eat every ethnic food available and cook any darn thing I'm in the mood for. I would lie diagonally on the bed. I would throw my towel over a chair and ignore the rack and leave books and half finished projects around and not worry about modeling neatness. I would blast rock music and go to concerts and bars. Oh wait, that last bit was my '20's.

[Jenn121]

I would not have to work. I would have a flat in London for when I wanted excitement and a country house near Chipping Norton. I would have a garden, cats, a quilting room, a gourmet kitchen and lots of time to putter.

And when the fancy struck me I would travel to anywhere I wanted to go. First Class.

 

 

 

[Mommy22alyns]

Oooh, a whole closet full of gorgeous yarn too.  I mean, go big or go home, right?