Kindergarten Graduation Ceremonies - what are your thoughts?

[Kipling]

I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on kindergarten graduation ceremonies.  As a general thing, what's your opinion - important, cute, silly, wrong, etc?  You can just answer the poll, or if you want the specific background information leading to my question, here it is: 

 

We belong to a small-medium sized coop (about 60 kids) which meets once a week for elective-type classes taught by the moms.  This year, they have been working to add several "school" features some of the moms are missing (a photographer came in to take school pictures, one class is making a yearbook for the group, etc).

So, for our end-of-the-year program this spring, each class will do some kind of presentation (like normal), then we will have a graduation ceremony (this is new).  The three kindergarteners will march forward in caps and gowns, do a little graduation song, and receive a diploma.  Then, our high school senior will march forward and receive a diploma.

If it makes any difference in your answers, those kindergartners will be performing earlier in the evening with their whole class (which is a mix of K & 1st). For the graduation ceremony, the kindergarteners will be pulled out separately.  Also, parents are responsible for buying the cap and gown (~$30)

[catz]

I think it is kind of cute, but really to the benefit and enjoyment of the parents of the kindergarten kids. I do not think it is necessary at all for co-op or schooled kids. I am not sure having this right before high school graduates is great either. A co-op,that was trying this hard to reproduce a school environment would be a turnoff for me.

[SKL]

I voted that I'd probably have my kid participate, but only because it would be hard to exclude her while the others did it.

 

What pushes it into ridiculous for me is having to buy a gown.  It would also be rotten if some kids in the K-1 class were being retained in KG and had to watch their classmates "graduate."

 

Honestly, I think the whole KG graduation thing is dumb, but my kids' school did it (it was a daycare/preschool/KG).  They used gowns that they already owned, so it was just a matter of us showing up.  They made the kids sing a couple of songs, recite in French and Spanish, and get their diplomas.  I think it was appropriate to have some sort of Spring exhibition, so it didn't bother me too much, but I also would not have been bothered if they had skipped it.

 

One thing that I really disliked about ours was how they made a big deal about being 1st graders now (even made them all sing a song with that title), even though some of the kids were going to a 2nd year of KG in the fall (and the teacher knew this).

[PrincessMommy]

I think it's silly and frivolous.  Along the lines of everyone gets a trophy and everyone is a special snowflake.  Why???  It is not a milestone like graduating from high school or college. 

 

I see now that this pertains to a homeschool co-op.  I honestly don't see the need to bring brick and mortar school to homeschool.  Even more silly and frivolous.

[Chris in VA]

I'm not sure how to vote--If all the other Ks were participating, I would, too. It is cute.

I'd try, however, to dissuade the co-op from doing this.

 

I'd also discourage it because it takes away from the real accomplishment of graduating high school.

 

It's frivolous. High School graduation isn't. It sort of puts them on the same level, and they absolutely aren't. It feels a little disrespectful to the high school student, to be honest.

[PrincessMommy]

I'm not sure how to vote--If all the other Ks were participating, I would, too. It is cute.

I'd try, however, to dissuade the co-op from doing this.

 

I'd also discourage it because it takes away from the real accomplishment of graduating high school.

 

It's frivolous. High School graduation isn't. It sort of puts them on the same level, and they absolutely aren't. It feels a little disrespectful to the high school student, to be honest.

 

This.   You said it way better than me.

[Laura Corin]

In UK terms, it's just really, really odd.  Brits don't graduate from any school.  We graduate from university.  We 'leave' all the others.

[xixstar]

I strongly dislike those and 8th grade events too. Silly and waste if time for me. When my oldest was in school I grumbled about it a lot and would have skipped it except that all the other parents were going and that wouldn't have been fair to my child.

 

Actually I am now remembering that it was 5th grade that had a ceremony - not 8th because we were homeschooling then.

[TammyS]

I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on kindergarten graduation ceremonies.  As a general thing, what's your opinion - important, cute, silly, wrong, etc?  You can just answer the poll, or if you want the specific background information leading to my question, here it is: 

 

We belong to a small-medium sized coop (about 60 kids) which meets once a week for elective-type classes taught by the moms.  This year, they have been working to add several "school" features some of the moms are missing (a photographer came in to take school pictures, one class is making a yearbook for the group, etc).

So, for our end-of-the-year program this spring, each class will do some kind of presentation (like normal), then we will have a graduation ceremony (this is new).  The three kindergarteners will march forward in caps and gowns, do a little graduation song, and receive a diploma.  Then, our high school senior will march forward and receive a diploma.

If it makes any difference in your answers, those kindergartners will be performing earlier in the evening with their whole class (which is a mix of K & 1st). For the graduation ceremony, the kindergarteners will be pulled out separately.  Also, parents are responsible for buying the cap and gown (~$30)

 

I think it's a bad idea to make a big deal of a small accomplishment.  It doesn't leave anything in the box for big accomplishments.  And if they wanted me to pay $ for it, double that.

 

I DO think it can  be valuable, at all grade levels, to have something where the kids show off what they learned/accomplished that year.  Not so much for the showing off to others, but so that the kids get a chance to see their own progress (which I think is very hard to see from day to day).

[Library Momma]

I've never seen or heard of a kindergarten graduation (and my kids are in ps).  I've seen preschool graduations but those are little parties because the kids are usually all leaving the school and going their separate ways.  Sometimes they have little paper mortar board hats.  $30 gowns, no way - That's overkill.

 

I agree that it is odd, and maybe a little insulting to combine it with the high schooler's graduation.

[umsami]

I like them.  I think they're cute.   I didn't have one growing up, but I think they're cute.  My school did an 8th grade graduate when we moved to Upper School and a high school graduation.  I think that they are often more for the parents (even the high school graduation), but that's OK too.  

 

I don't think they devalue high school graduation at all (in general) but in this case I can see it perhaps being perceived as that way as the events are combined.  Honestly, though, if I was the high schooler, to me it would represent how far I had actually come.  I'd talk to the high schooler involved.  

 

In general, though, even my college and grad school graduations were more for my parents.  For me, I knew I did the work and had the diploma...so I didn't really care about the ceremony.

 

(I will say that the $30 fee is ridiculous.)

 

 

[skimomma]

I would probably do it just so my kid was not excluded but I really dislike this practice for all of the reasons others have stated already.  They do this for preschool around here too.  But the time the kids really graduate from high school they will have already "graduated" three other times.  So annoying.

[Ellie]

I would never say this to anyone whose dc are actually participating in one, but yeah, I think it's wrong. Goodness...all the dc did was spend 9 months in a classroom.

 

My older dd went to kindergarten at a Christian school, 1980-81. Kindergarten "graduations" were not a thing yet; if they had been, I'm sure I would have allowed her to participate, but in my head I'm also sure that I would have been thinking how wrong it was. As a homeschooler, I would not have helped my support group do one, and I would have lobbied against it.

[hjffkj]

There is absolutely no way I'd pay for a cap and gown. That seems ridiculous to me. Even if it was free we wouldn't participate. It seems in line with things like participation trophies, which I don't let my kids accept(and my dh is the one who hands them out!)

[leeannpal]

My daughter participated in a kindergarten graduation at a private school. As a parent, it was very meaningful to me. The program not only emphasized what they had learned in their first official year of school, it also highlighted the pride of the kids who understood that they were "big" kids now and ready to move on in their learning. The kids sang a song about growing up and how fast it goes, and we were all in tears. It is truly a special memory for me, my husband and our daughter.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I think it's stupid and I wouldn't participate, I sure as heck wouldn't pay $ for a gown.  High school and college graduations are accomplishments.

 

[Runningmom80]

I think it's silly and would not want my kids to participate, but I also wouldn't want them to feel left out. So I would do it but not like it.

[Word Nerd]

I wonder if there are regional differences. Kindergarten graduation has always been a thing in this area as far as I know; it was when I attended K in public school back in the late 70s and still is today. It's cute and harmless—though I can see why a parent would balk at having to pay $30 for a cap and gown. My kindergarten cap was made of construction paper. We've had this discussion before on the boards, and I don't understand why people get their panties in such a wad over it. 

[TechWife]

I graduated from kindergarten in the early 70's, before K was mandatory in public education. We did not do the cap & gown, I think that's silly for anyone before high school graduation. I also think that if the child isn't actually changing schools, having completed an entire program of education,  that they aren't graduating from anything. I think for those that are, having some type of promotion recognition can be a good practice and help them transition, but not a formal graduation. 

 

I also think that having the three K students "graduate" in a cap and gown in the same program that the high school senior does is ridiculous and takes away from the accomplishment of the high school student, who is truly graduating from her compulsory education.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I wonder if there are regional differences. Kindergarten graduation has always been a thing in this area as far as I know; it was when I attended K in public school back in the late 70s and still is today. It's cute and harmless—though I can see why a parent would balk at having to pay $30 for a cap and gown. We've had this discussion before on the boards, and I don't understand why people get their panties in such a wad over it. 

 

+1

It is cute and harmless.  I have yet to meet the child who says their high school/college graduation was unimportant because they participated in a kindergarten graduation.

 

Is it silly and frivolous?  A bit.  But when it comes to 5 and 6 year olds I think having activities that are silly and frivolous is a good thing.

[maize]

Do a little graduation ceremony? Sure if parents and kids want to.

 

$30 for a cap and gown? No way unless all these families have the economic means to throw away $30 without blinking.

[Dmmetler]

My DD had one in PS. For her, it was actually kind of nice because we started homeschooling right after (literally, the next morning at 6:00 when she pulled me out of bed demanding to "Do homeschool!" I guess she'd been more frustrated by not getting new content in kindergarten than I'd realized!).

 

I don't see a point in the cap and gown and stuff like that-it just doesn't seem necessary. Having said that, I'm bothered less by kindergarten "Graduations" where the cap and gown is all about parents wanting to take cute photos than about the 6th grade graduation that the PS I used to work at had every year-where it was a big, major production (I mean a graduation ceremony, big formal dance party similar to a prom afterwards, parents renting limos, etc) and the justification was "some of these kids won't have another graduation". Which, to me, was a reason to say "Nope, kids, not finished yet!". For the kindergartners, it's just another costume, like dressing up to be a fire fighter or police officer. And I admit, my DD was darling in her cap and gown (which the school owned, so we didn't have to buy anything), clutching her stuffed dragon who was ALSO wearing a cap and gown (hey, he'd gone to kindergarten every day in her backpack....).

 

 

 

 

[catz]

It is cute and harmless, but I think it's different when it's just the parents, siblings, and grandparents showing up for a cute end of year event.  But making a group of parents who have 13 more years of blood, sweat, and tears into parenting sit through it is silly.  I also don't really understand when homeschool co-ops think they totally need to emulate a "schooled" environment in every way.  I actually dropped out of a group when half the e-mails were stalking people to assemble photos for a "year book" and attend meetings for the "year book" that you were going to need to buy for $40+. 

 

I really don't think the vast majority of kindergarteners will care either way, it's an event for the parents.  Most kids would probably rather be out on the playground than sitting through a mock ceremony. 

 

I actually didn't answer the poll.  I don't know if I'd have my kid participate or not.  $30 for a gown the kid will wear once would annoy me. 

 

My oldest went to kindergarten.  I went to kindergarten.  We had no "graduation", though there were some fun events at the end of the year. 

[gardenmom5]

I've never been in a district that did them and I think they're ridiculous.  the current one does 8th grade graduation.  I think it's absurd to still do them - but understand it hearkens back to a time when that was all the education some people received - and high school was an add on much as an undergraduate degree is now.

[EKS]

I'd have my kid participate, but in the situation you describe, it is inappropriate, and I'd be telling the powers that be that I thought so.

 

The only situation where kindergarten graduation is even remotely appropriate is if they are the oldest grade in their school (such as a Montessori school that does 2-3 years of preschool followed by a year of kindergarten).  Same with 8th grade graduations--only if the school serves up to 8th grade.

 

 

[amyx4]

If you're looking to cut the cost try: http://www.rhymeuniversity.com/ The quality is good.

 

[Ellie]

My daughter participated in a kindergarten graduation at a private school. As a parent, it was very meaningful to me. The program not only emphasized what they had learned in their first official year of school, it also highlighted the pride of the kids who understood that they were "big" kids now and ready to move on in their learning. The kids sang a song about growing up and how fast it goes, and we were all in tears. It is truly a special memory for me, my husband and our daughter.

 

I think there could have been a meaningful ceremony for the children without calling it a "graduation" or having caps and gowns.

[NorthwestMom]

I don't care one way or the other about kindergarten graduation, but I would not pay $30 for a cap and gown. Whaaat?

 

 

 

I strongly dislike those and 8th grade events too. Silly and waste if time for me. When my oldest was in school I grumbled about it a lot and would have skipped it except that all the other parents were going and that wouldn't have been fair to my child.

Actually I am now remembering that it was 5th grade that had a ceremony - not 8th because we were homeschooling then.

 

Ha ha! I really dislike those. Honestly, the LEAST you can do is graduate from the 8th grade. Come on.

[BigMamaBird]

I was on board till the $30 price tag!  What?!?  They're 5!  Make some caps out of paper plates, let everyone snap pictures and go "Awwww" and then get on with the ceremony.  $30 is ridiculous.

[Arcadia]

My local K-8 have a graduation ceremony for K, 5th and 8th grade at different timing. All events were free and at the school auditorium, food was potluck so everyone just had fun.

 

Paying $30 for a private school K graduation would be normal. For a co-op, I don't know since we had never done any co-op.

 

Kids here do attend public school K then go to private schools for 1st onwards so the graduation ceremony make sense.

[HS Mom in NC]

Summer Break is all the celebration a child needs for showing up and sitting in a classroom for 9 months.

 

Same with 8th grade "graduations." They're terribly antiquated.

[Tsuga]

Other--it's silly and frivolous, but I'd have my kid participate because it's not a hill to die on and it's important to her. Cue you can't always get what you wa-ant....

 

The $30 cap and gown would bother me and I guess that's where I'd say, this school is not for me. However, some people have fewer choices and if I were in that situation (only game in town) I'd just suck it up.

[LucyStoner]

I think it is overthinking what is essentially an end of year party for the kinders to ascribe a moral judgment to it.

 

I think it is silly and contrived but I don't think it is wrong. High school graduations are rather contrived too. I think there is value in communities getting together though and if the word graduation is used, who cares. In American English, graduation is used for plenty of things besides university. My nieces "kindergarten graduation" was really an end of year concert and learning fair with a dessert potluck after. No one wore caps and gowns. She was excited to be moving to 1st grade. No harm, no foul.

 

I do not think it denigrates older students to have gatherings and parties for younger students. I do think it is weird that it would be the same time as an event for high schoolers.

[Kathryn]

Meh. Not necessary but fine. One of our groups has an end of year program. The kindy kids "graduate," the grade 1-11 kids are recognized, and the seniors have a personalized five to ten minutes each of slide show and parents talking and graduate.

[Word Nerd]

I think there could have been a meaningful ceremony for the children without calling it a "graduation" or having caps and gowns.

 

Yet even though they did call it a "graduation," no one equated its significance to a high school or college graduation or was confused about the difference between them.

[EmseB]

I really don't like kindy graduation ceremonies. I've seen pics posted on FB of some really elaborate ones with slideshows and balloon arches and stuff like that. I don't like to be a party pooper, but a lot of them seem overdone. Just my preference not to have that kind of fanfare for K.

 

If my kid went to a school that had a ceremony I'd probably participate, but if it was a homeschool coop with just a few kids and this was the first year they were trying to do it I'd definitely opt out and probably tell the leadership why I was opting out.

[vonfirmath]

They did not have K graduation in my kid's school.

 

I would not have paid $30 for the cap and gown but don't see anything wrong with it. I would have let my kid participate if that is what his class was doing. (And I guess I would have reconsidered the not paying in that instance. But I wouldn't want to pay $30 for something meaningless, at least)

 

 

[Loowit]

I have fond memories of my Kindergarten graduation.  We made our own caps our of blue construction paper, and I got to go on a special shopping trip with my mom to get a new outfit.  I got a nice shirt and skirt set that I loved.  This was back in the late '70s.  It was traditional to our school and something that was a fun evening for the families.  I always so it a bit like a school program at Christmas time or the Mother's Day tea we used to put on for the moms.  It was just sometime social to do to end the year, just dressed up a bit.

 

My school also did 8th grade graduation.  No caps and gowns, but all the girls got fancy dresses and the boys wore suits and ties.  There was a dance afterward.  It was also combined with the Junior High sports awards night.  Mine as a fun experience and a chance for me to learn about how to put on an event.  The class was in charge of ordering all the decorations, setting them up, coming up with the program, etc. so ti was a bit of a learning experience too.  Was it necessary?  Not really, but it was fun.  And I don't think it too anything away from other graduations.

 

My children have not really done anything like that being homeschooled.  They did all have a "graduation" from pre-school.  it was a fun time for the kids to do a short program and have a last chance for treats with their friends before moving on to different schools.  My DD didn't really keep any friends from pre-school, but at the time her friends were important to her and this was her chance to say goodbye to them.  The kids all went on to different schools, some stayed in the private school, most went on the public school, and a few homeschooled.  Again, it was not necessarly, but I think it was worth the time and effort.

 

I am not sure I would want to pay $30 for a cap and gown, I think that is a bit much.  I prefer a much simpler style and something that the kids can take ownership in like making their own cap and showing off what they have learned.  I would also not really be into have it at the same time as the high school graduation.

[Ellie]

Yet even though they did call it a "graduation," no one equated its significance to a high school or college graduation or was confused about the difference between them.

 

There's no need to inflate the importance or impact of one year spent in a classroom.

[redsquirrel]

I haven't given them much thought either way. I think they are pretty harmless, but not anything I would spend money on.

 

When I was growing up the schools had 'moving up' ceremonies. That was from 5th transitioning to the middle school building and from 8th transitioning to the high school building. None of these buildings were near each other. They were all in different parts of town, so once you left, you didn't go back much.

 

That wasn't dressy or anything. It was a time for the teachers to say goodbye to the kids they had taught for those years.  All the teachers came and the principal would talk to us and wish us luck and let us know that we would be missed, and we should always consider ourselves welcome at the school if we every needed anything.  Then the teachers applauded us and we applauded them and we all said goodbye to each other.  It was sweet and felt like a nice ritual. There was a lot of hugging. I am pretty sure the parents didn't attend. It was at the end of the last full day of school.

 

I don't think that diminished high school graduation or made us feel like we had accomplished anything outsized. It was just saying goodby to some people we had spend a lot of time with and would not see again in the same context. Actually, it was a lot nicer than the high school graduation. The teachers didn't attend that if they didn't have a duty during the graduation.

[MrsBasil]

Cute, silly, and harmless...but I would have no interest in paying $30 for him to participate in something that trivial.  I'd probably see if he wanted to skip the event and do something that would be more up his alley.  I'll have less leeway for that kind of thing when DD the super social hits school age, but eh, I'd still try.

[MrsBasil]

PS: I don't know that kindergarten graduations as a whole diminish graduations of actual importance, but I think having the K'ers graduate right before the high schoolers in the same ceremony is an odd choice.

[73349]

We school year round and I promote DS in September, so I would not do something in May/June that makes it sound like you're done. There's school again the next weekday morning! :)

 

I think it could be cute to do it when they're leaving a preschool and going off to different K-8 schools--easily becoming silly if overdone, which the $30 outfit does seem to me--but ridiculous for a homeschool co-op.

[Word Nerd]

I haven't given them much thought either way. I think they are pretty harmless, but not anything I would spend money on.

 

When I was growing up the schools had 'moving up' ceremonies. That was from 5th transitioning to the middle school building and from 8th transitioning to the high school building. None of these buildings were near each other. They were all in different parts of town, so once you left, you didn't go back much.

 

That wasn't dressy or anything. It was a time for the teachers to say goodbye to the kids they had taught for those years.  All the teachers came and the principal would talk to us and wish us luck and let us know that we would be missed, and we should always consider ourselves welcome at the school if we every needed anything.  Then the teachers applauded us and we applauded them and we all said goodbye to each other.  It was sweet and felt like a nice ritual. There was a lot of hugging. I am pretty sure the parents didn't attend. It was at the end of the last full day of school.

 

I don't think that diminished high school graduation or made us feel like we had accomplished anything outsized. It was just saying goodby to some people we had spend a lot of time with and would not see again in the same context. Actually, it was a lot nicer than the high school graduation. The teachers didn't attend that if they didn't have a duty during the graduation.

 

Our grade school does something similar for the 5th graders on the last day of school. The classes line up along the walls in the main hallway, and the 5th graders march through as the other classes and teachers wave and say goodbye. My younger DD told me she teared up when her big sister walked by in the hallway because they wouldn't be in the same school anymore.

[Kipling]

I appreciate everyone's thoughts.  Of the three kindergarteners "graduating," I think the parents represent each point on the spectrum.  One parent is excited and requesting it; one parent is ambivalent - it's cute, and they'll participate, but she never would have thought of it; and one parent thinks it trivializes real accomplishments.  I happen to be the third parent, and I wanted to see if I was being totally unreasonable.  I can understand the various points of view, and in the grand scheme of things, I don't think anyone is going to be harmed by the graduation ceremony.  However, personally, I don't like the way that our modern society praises non-achievements.  The graduation ceremony is optional, and dh and I have decided that our 5 year old will not participate (which is kind of awkward because it is part of the whole end-of-the-year program, and dd will be participating in the rest of the activities, but oh well).

[SproutMamaK]

There's was no option for "it's unnecessary and obnoxious but I'd do it because my kid would freak out if they knew it about it and we didn't go", so I just chose option 3. ;)

[MeAndTheBoys]

There's was no option for "it's unnecessary and obnoxious but I'd do it because my kid would freak out if they knew it about it and we didn't go", so I just chose option 3. ;)

 

Okay, that's pretty much what I wanted to put :)   My youngest is in K this year.  The other two kids had a K graduation, and 'everyone else was doing it' so even though I thought it was pretty dumb, I did it because really, it didn't hurt anything.  But I did have to make a display board of all of our wonderful K activities during the year--which was a JOKE because we don't do cutesy stuff, EVER!! so that was a pain.

 

I am SO hoping that no one steps up to do a K graduation this year because I am 100% FINE with not doing one.  A friend with a K-er and I were joking that one of us should do it, and we're like NO WAY.  If it doesn't get done, we can take my baby out to eat sometime this spring and call that his "special event" and take a picture so that 20 years from now they don't cry, "But my BROTHERS did K graduation . . . ."

 

We've almost made it without anyone scheduling one . . .

 

ETA--when DS 1 graduated, the cover school provided a cap and gown.  I think we had to pay like $5 for cleaning.  DS2, I borrowed one from a friend--I think I could have bought one for like $30.  IF we get suckered into it this year, if I can't borrow one, DS3 will just wear something nice.  At DS2's graduation, there were only 3 kids--two in gowns, one girl in a nice dress.  The hat is what really cheeses it out for me.  I didn't even like my OWN high school, college and grad school graduation ceremonies (skipped the last one, since my parents FINALLY couldn't make me go, lol) so I just don't see the fun of a goofy outfit.

 

B

 

[SKL]

However, personally, I don't like the way that our modern society praises non-achievements.

 

I agree.  I am not sure a KG graduation is about praise, though.

 

To be honest, I didn't consider my high school graduation to be an "achievement."  I didn't really consider my college graduation to be an "achievement."  Or MBA for that matter.  I didn't do anything that the majority of people didn't / couldn't do.  (Law school, yes.)

 

The only thing that would really bug me would be someone deciding I needed to either pay $30 for a cap'n'gown or disappoint my kid.  Maybe someone should propose that the co-op treasury pay for the cap'n'gowns so they can be used by future children for many years.  Along with a suggestion for cheaper gown options or other alternatives.  :P

 

I agree someone is manipulating the purpose of the co-op, and it isn't really fair to others in the group.

 

I hope that when they learn you are opting out, they change their mind all together.

[regentrude]

I find it ridiculous, since "graduating" K is not actually an accomplishment.

[MiMi 4under3]

My kids were all in a Jewish day school for Kindergarten and had graduation ceremonies for moving up to 'real' school - 1st grade and beyond.

 

I think it's cute, but completely unnecessary.