SKL Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have a lot of childless friends / former friends. They are childless for various reasons. I would say the majority of them are not sorry to be childless. Some of them have said that being a mom would have left them less happy. Myself, I have a very strong maternal instinct and I think I would have been really unhappy if I never became a mom. (Hence my adopting as a single woman.) What about your friends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have a hard time thinking of any childless friends I have, at my age. I have often thought what they think, but I also have a hard time putting myself in their shoes. At my age, without kids, I can't truly imagine what that would look/feel like. I don't have a huge maternal instinct (except for the kids I already have), but since I've never been childless at my age, I don't feel I can truly say what it would be like. I don't think they can know, either, if they truly are happier without kids than they would be with. It's one of the hard parts of life. You don't get a control group for yourself. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Only one, and I have known her my whole life. Honestly, she has never seemed to be happy that I have known. (Other than brief isolated moments.) I think that has something to do with her decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have a lot of childless female friends. Two are married....of those one is in full time ministry and childless by choice...the other one has just never gotten pregnant...but doesn't seem to be miserable...she is also in full time ministry and very busy and happy. The others are all unmarried and want husbands and babies... I do think in general it is a normal feeling...to want kids...but just like if a person can't find a mate they can still have a happy life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 One of my best friends is childless. Her DH is quite a bit older and already had two teenagers from his first marriage. I don't know all of their reasons for deciding to not have kids of their own, but she's never seemed particularly bothered by it. She is close to her step daughter and her step grandchildren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I was a childless married woman for a long time. I was happy and content. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 People who don't want children are often called childfree, not childless, as that term doesn't have any connotation of loss or missing out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have a few childless friends some married and some not. The married ones who chose to be childless seem happy with their decision. The unmarried ones seem lonely and I know at least one regrets waiting so long to look for a significant other. She doesn't talk about wanting children but she is quite miserable being alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 One of my best friends is childless by choice. She is a professional artist and so is her dh. I believe her dh wanted to have children and they put off getting married for a very long time. He told her he wanted to spend his life with her more than he wanted to have a child. She is great with children. She and her nieces write stories together and then film them. She was the responsible adult in the life of her half brother, who was born when she was 22. Because of her, he experienced baking cookies and making homemade Christmas decorations. She took him to museums and other things that his parents had the means to do, but decided not to focus on. Many years ago, possibly before I had kids, she told me she didn't want children. She told me there were many things she wanted to do. She thought having children would prevent some of those things. She did not want to resent giving up opportunities. She didn't believe it would be fair to have a child if there was a possibility she would be resentful. She leads a full life and has no regrets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Many varied friends, including some child-free by choice and some not by choice. In terms of happiness, an informal mental survey reveals "happiness" and contentment at approximately the same rate of my friends with kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Not a question one can answer accurately. Sometimes a woman will tell the world that she is happy to have no children, but behind the scenes (occasionally admitted by her to a very close friend) she is miserable. Not always is this the case. I just don't think that I can make assumptions based on what people might say about their situations. "Childfree" sounds like recovery from a disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have two good male friends who are childless. Both are gay and one is very sorry not to have had kids, but he is in his 50's and gay men adopting just wasn't done when he was young enough to think of it. The other is not sorry to not have had kids at all. His favorite hobbies are collecting things and traveling, which would be hard with kids. I have one female friend who is my age and childless. She is a very happy person. I would not ask if she misses having kids, because I suspect that her dh is the reason they have no kids, so I would never bring her pain. She is an amazing aunt (she has four sisters who each have several kids of varying ages) and every week you can see pics of her on facebook with different nieces and nephews having lots of fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My childfree married friends seem happier than my childfree single friends. I think having a happy marital relationship goes a long way toward filling a need for "family". DH and I were married for 13 years before deciding to have a child. We were both very happy during that time, and did not feel like we were missing out. I don't have a very strong "maternal instinct" and having children was not always an automatic part of my future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 "Childfree" sounds like recovery from a disease. :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My sister and her husband have chosen not to have children, and are very happy. She's always said she loves being an aunt and that she feels she is better at that than she would have been as a mother. And she IS a fantastic aunt. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Io have several close friends who've never chosen to have kids. They are happy, fulfilled, have rich, full lives. I know a lot of other females without children, though I'm not close enough to them to ask about their feelings - they seem content on the surface. FWIW, all of the above are in a science field which does not lend itself to parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My single friends who are childless do not want to become parents without first being married, so in that sense they have chosen to be childless. I don't know that anyone can know for certain whether another person is truly happy, so I wouldn't presume to know that. I do know from what my sister has told me that she would prefer to be married and have kids than be single, but she has accepted the likelihood that she may never marry and is determined to live life to the fullest regardless of what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I think some people would be happy without children. It just so happens, the only female I know who did not have children never has been happy. But I have known some people who had children that never should have and were not happy with having children. In my life, I generally only make friends with people who have children because that is simply my life. I am not sure what I would do with childless friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildiris Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My friends who chose to be childless are ridiculously happy, well-adjusted people, but those friends that are childless and wished that they'd met the right man at the right time and didn't are the more classically bitter older woman. When visiting friends, my daughters' first choice is to hang out with the childless women friends because they're so much more vibrant and funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have several female friends without children who are happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Yes. I know several child free and childless women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My single friends who are childless do not want to become parents without first being married, so in that sense they have chosen to be childless. I don't know that anyone can know for certain whether another person is truly happy, so I wouldn't presume to know that. I do know from what my sister has told me that she would prefer to be married and have kids than be single, but she has accepted the likelihood that she may never marry and is determined to live life to the fullest regardless of what happens. Or, maybe, another way to look at it is when a poster (or in person human, for that matter) mentions a preferred word choice to consider honoring that choice if it doesn't hurt us. As a personal example, I find the phrase "broken home" negative, inaccurate, and often insulting. I can't imagine that anyone would be hurt by not saying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Not many close friends, but one is childless, though not due to lack of trying. However, she is still super fun and carefree. She'd love a family, but is fine if she doesn't as well. Her teacup Yorkie is her baby right now. Two of my aunts are childless (though one has a stepdaughter who came into her life when sd was 16 or so). Both really can't stand children and constantly proclaim how glad they are that they didn't have children. Based their comments when they are around my dd and my nephew, I can say I'm glad they didn't have children as well.(One aunt is nice and finds humor in my dd or nephew and does seem to genuinely care about them, but constantly compares them to her cats. Yeah, toddler temper tantrums are EXACTLY like your cat wanting to go outside at midnight. :huh: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have childless friends. They seem as happy as anyone else. And of those who aren't, the reason rarely seems to be related to their childless status. One has infertility issues, and hopes to foster-adopt in a year or two after she finishes her PhD. She has a little angst about it but it doesn't seem to make her miserable. Most are young enough that it isn't necessarily out of the picture for the future, and they seem to be having a good time enjoying their freedom. I had some friends who I figured didn't want kids because they'd been married like 15 years without having any, but they recently had a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Not a question one can answer accurately. Sometimes a woman will tell the world that she is happy to have no children, but behind the scenes (occasionally admitted by her to a very close friend) she is miserable. Not always is this the case. I just don't think that I can make assumptions based on what people might say about their situations. Yes, and sometimes it goes the other way around. However awful it is to not have children and want them, it must be worst to have children you don't want. "Childfree" sounds like recovery from a disease. LOL, some cf folks really dislike children (and thus should definitely not have any!) and probably do consider it that way. Most others, of course, like children just fine, they just don't want or don't think they could take care of any of their own. Kinda like the rest of us and the sort of pet we don't want in our home, except that children are more responsibility than pets. Yeah, toddler temper tantrums are EXACTLY like your cat wanting to go outside at midnight. *contemplates* Toddler tantrum: The being in question thinks this is the end of the world. Cat wanting to go outside: The cat thinks this is the end of the world. Toddler tantrum: High likelihood of being scratched and/or whined to death. Cat wanting to go outside: High likelihood of being scratched and/or whined to death. Toddler tantrum: You finally give them what they want, and they glare at you because they don't want that anymore. Cat wanting to go outside: You finally give them what they want, and they glare at you because they don't want that anymore. Toddler tantrum: Despite being able to use their words, your toddler resorts to wordless wails and flailing. Cat wanting to go outside: Cats can't use their words, so wailing and flailing is just the way it goes. Toddler tantrum: Once they're calmed down, they're snuggly and cuddly and act like nothing ever happened. Cat wanting to go outside: Once they're calmed down, they're snuggly and cuddly and act like nothing ever happened. Toddler tantrum: Can be ended, in extreme circumstances, with a cookie. Cat wanting to go outside: Can be ended with a can of wet food. Wow. *glances at cat* She really is just like a furry toddler, isn't she? I hadn't realized that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My childless friends are no more or less happy than my friends with kids. Some people have a sense of self and well-being that allows them to bloom where they are planted, and some are always gazing wistfully at the path not taken. I actually hear more lifestyle complaints from my friends with children, but they don't all come from unhappy people. I know childless women who are very nurturing and good with kids and women with children who seem much less so. They're good moms, they're just not enraptured by the hands-on minutia of caring for little kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelenNotOfTroy Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My friends without children are not unhappy. Some have always had other priorities, some have pets they love, and some have other people's children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My uncle and his wife are childfree by choice. They never wanted children and seem very happy with that decision. My DH's aunt and her husband do not have children and I am not sure if it was their choice or not. They seem happy and content with their life now, but sometimes his aunt seems a bit sad when all the kids and grandkids are around at the holidays. My best friend and her husband went into marriage saying they wanted children, but after a few years they decided they were happy being just the two of them with their careers. I know about the age of late 20's my friend confided that she had thought about maybe having one child, but by that time her husband was very against it. She seems okay with the decision and they both have many things that they do at work and volunteer. I would have been miserable without children. DH knew that I wanted several children when we got married and he also wanted children. Sadly we faced many obstacles on our path to becoming parents. I would have been very upset if someone had referred to me as childfree. I was not without children by choice when I was going through infertility. All the years, procedures, multiple surgeries, and the like just for a chance to have children. I didn't want to be free from children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My friends without kids are not unhappy. They are generally much happier than parents of children aged 0 - 5 I know. After that we have school and it seems to even out cost-benefit wise, lol. I love my children. I'm glad they're alive. They don't make me a happier person or a better person. I already believed in working for society and creating a better future and living for others before they were born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I don't know anyone who is childfree by choice. All the friends I have without kids still hope to have them, but they can't find partners who aren't complete jerks. Most of the women I know have kids, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 The people I know who are child free by choice are mostly happy with their lives and content. The ones that aren't it isn't because they don't have children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 One of my single childless friends used to try to convince me I didn't really want children. "How are you going to make a big impact on the world if you are tied down to your own chidren?" She is very happy being able to jump from one thing to another, leave town at the drop of a hat, keep crazy hours, be very visible in the community, and not have to contend with anything when she goes home and wants to sleep. Some of my childless friends once thought they'd have kids, but when it proved to not be so easy, they didn't want to use up any more emotional energy trying. Maybe they secretly wish but put on a brave face. Some of my childless friends gave up on waiting for their husbands to be responsible enough to be a dad. Again, maybe they have quiet regrets. Some were satisfied (or scared off parenting) by becoming step-moms. I agree, the only ones I notice being obviously miserable are those who don't have a life partner or kids. These folks generally have "issues" and might be just as miserable (or more so) with kids. As far as the word "childfree," it rubs me the wrong way because it seems to imply that children are nuisances. But I guess I can see how "childless" sounds negative (though it wasn't intended to be). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 One couple loves children but have not been able to have any. They are surrounded by children that they minister to at church and in the community and through groups like the Boys and Girls club. They've actually been able to influence a lot more children, I think, than if they had children. They are our kid's legal guardians and that for at least one other family that I know of. One single friend has adopted. Another friend and her husband researched adoption but decided to have pets instead. Another couple have adopted. Another couple decided before marriage that they did not want children. They are happy with their choice. Obviously the ones who adopted now have children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Library Momma Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I only have one friend around my age that is married and never had kids. She is very happy and boy are her dogs spoiled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 SIL-never wanted kids. Never did. 1st grade teacher for homeless kids. She's very happy. SIL-wanted kids. Married my brother who has joint custody of his son from a previous relationship. He told her up front he was not having any more. She's not happy because she wasn't realistic about being content to step-parent 50% of the time. Another friend is childless and having trouble conceiving. She's not happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I know several women who have no children and are perfectly content. Some are married and childfree by choice. Some are single, and I do not know whether they might choose to have children if they had a partner or were at a different stage in their lives. In my circle of friends, I do not know any women who are struggling with infertility and miss not having a child. I had no children until age 28 and was happy and did not miss anything. I did not have any desire to have children until that point in my life, even though I have been together with my DH since I was 18. Not having a child at a given time does not necessarily mean never having a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 As far as the word "childfree," it rubs me the wrong way because it seems to imply that children are nuisances. But I guess I can see how "childless" sounds negative (though it wasn't intended to be). Well, children are an awful lot of responsibility that you are stuck with for 18+ years, no matter what. Children cost money, and take time and energy that could have been spent on other things. Children do weird or rude things at inopportune times. Children, to be frank, are inconvenient. For most people, that inconvenience is worth it because there are so many benefits that come along with it, as I think everybody here knows. But for some people, those benefits are just not ever going to be enough. Far better for those people not to have kids. *thinks* Now that I'm on the subject, I'm stuck here. This is a way that parenting IS exactly like pet ownership - no, no, hear me out! My cat doesn't provide much material good. She has no intrinsic value, Ayn Rand's opinions notwithstanding. She doesn't provide me food. She doesn't clean up my messes. She sometimes pounces on my feet. If I get sick (or injured from all the foot pouncing), she won't come with me to the doctor and pay my bills. But I'm not going to say "Welp, that's it, no more cats for me!" because there are benefits to the relationship for me. Now, my kids cost waaaaaaay more than a cat. And they might grow up and take care of me when I'm older, but they have no obligation to do so, and that's not why I buy them food and clothes, much less swimming lessons and girl scouts and roller skates. I do it because there is a value beyond the sheer measurement of how much you spend vs. how much you gain. Kids: Might not provide much in material gain, but that's not why you do it, right? ... You know, I've been up since 3ish shoveling. If this makes no sense, forgive me. We both have the right to expressive vocabulary regarding the world we witness. It's really impolite to tell other people that their self-labeling is wrong. You may feel broken home is the best term for YOUR family - but it's not the best term for EVERY family, and it's really rude to use that to describe another person's family when they've asked you not to. Ditto for any other phrase somebody has asked you to use. It's not about you, it's about good manners. Good manners say you use other people's words to describe their situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Or, maybe, another way to look at it is when a poster (or in person human, for that matter) mentions a preferred word choice to consider honoring that choice if it doesn't hurt us. There's a difference between a person telling me something I have said is hurtful to them personally and expressing their preference and another person presuming to speak on behalf of anonymous others who may or may not even care. Many times the latter just seems like an excuse to nitpick and micromanage others' speech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have a few female friends my age or slightly older (so late 30s, early 40s) who are single and have no children. One of them is definitely very unhappy about being single and without children, and expresses it frequently and publicly. Others seem happy with their careers, homes, hobbies, travel, extended family, other relationships, etc. and I have no reason to think they are dissatisfied. Sometimes I wish I could trade places with them, just for a couple of days. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 One of my best friends was childless for many years of her marriage, and she wanted to be a mom more than anything. They finally adopted and she is an awesome mom! I have another friend right now who is trying to have children, but so far can't. :( she is content and busy, but her heart yearns for them. I know many couples who would love children, but can not conceive. They are going on with their lives and are wonderful people. Another friend had a child, but never really wanted her, and now she spends most of her time with daddy, while the mom is gone and left. I would rather a couple (who doesn't want children) say "no thanks" to having kids, rather than doing it out of duty, and then regretting their kids. I consider myself blessed, because I have always wanted to be a mommy and getting pregnant was extremely easy for me. Everyone is different. I think in life, we need to do what is best in our own situation. If I had never gotten married, I would have been a single mom adopting, I know it. I love children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 See, I think the term "child free" is mainly just used by people to label themselves, not to label others. Some people who do not have children do not feel that they are missing anything and the term "childless" often carries negative interpretations. Before we had a child I was fine with either term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Within some limits, I don't attempt to change other people's choice of "label." I commented on "childfree" only because it struck me as humorous. I never had heard or read that label before. It is true that I incline toward traditional linguistic usage, but I do make changes when persuaded that such is best. For example, ever since having the matchless opportunity of studying under a renowned Roma linguist, I no longer use the term "gypsy". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have 2 co-workers in their early 50s and 1 relative in her 40s who are childless. One of them had a child die due to some genetic issues and decided to not try to have any more kids and she misses having kids very much and dotes on the kids of her relatives and friends. One of them is hyper sensitive to noise and hates commotion and will go nuts in a noisy environment - she says that she likes kids from a distance but will not tolerate the chaos and noise they make in her home. The relative does not have kids due to a combination of health issues and troubled marriage. She is not bothered by not having kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Yes. I know a number of women in their late 40s and 50s who do not have children and who are happy about it. I have one friend who is not happy about it but she doesn't let the disappointment rule her life (in her case she would have liked to marry and have a child but wasn't able to do so. Now she's in her mid to late 40s and has made peace with it) In my age group it's too soon to call it. I'm 34. I have some friends my age who don't have kids but are planning to and some friends my age who don't have kids and aren't planning to. Some of my friends are happier or less happy than others but that's par for the course for everyone. One friend, a year younger than me, is pregnant and due this summer. She would have been very sad if not able to be a mom, it's been a life goal of hers for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Most of my childless, female friends feel as if they've already raised families because they were one of the oldest siblings in enormous (or in one case--a 3-sibling) families (in one case a 13-child family) and they had to raise their own siblings. Honestly, I have 5 female friends who have no children and this is the reason they give. They spent their childhoods raising children, and they wore out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Yes, I know of two young ladies who were the older kids in large families (8 plus kids) who have vowed never to have kids or if they do, to only have one. And both of them were burned out on raising their siblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have friends that did not have children by choice who are now in their 40's, friends who had infertility problems and not enough income to receive treatment or adopt so they have adjusted but would like to have been parents, one set of acquaintances that had a child, decided that they were really wrong about parenting and wish that child had not been born...they were not abusive or neglectful, but asked a family member to take guardianship of their toddler to raise and then took permanent action to prevent any future pregnancies, and a niece and nephew in their 30's who have chosen not to have children and are quite content. They are also the best aunt and uncle any kid could hope for, and are very, very active in their nieces and nephews lives. On one side of the family, there is a sibling and his wife who are rather neglectful of their children who are now living with grandma and grandpa. The grandparents will not be in good enough health to raise the children to adulthood so when the time comes for a change, my niece and nephew have already declared their intent to take the them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 It's hard to generalize because my friends w/o children are so different: 1. friend whose fiance left her for another man, she is still recovering from this 10 yrs later, never married, no children----> sad 2. married friend who had multiple miscarriages--->sad, but takes pleasure in being an auntie 3. friend who had a hysterectomy early in life due to cancer, married, no kids---> seems perfectly satisfied with her life 4. friends who never seemed to wish to be married or have kids ---> seem happy with life I also think that a level of sadness seems to change after the childbearing years are over? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have 2 co-workers in their early 50s and 1 relative in her 40s who are childless. One of them had a child die due to some genetic issues and decided to not try to have any more kids and she misses having kids very much and dotes on the kids of her relatives and friends. One of them is hyper sensitive to noise and hates commotion and will go nuts in a noisy environment - she says that she likes kids from a distance but will not tolerate the chaos and noise they make in her home. The relative does not have kids due to a combination of health issues and troubled marriage. She is not bothered by not having kids. I went to church with a woman who could not stand noisy children at all. If she entered a restaurant and there was a baby there, she would leave in case the baby might cry. She would not go to any family restaurants like Red Robin at all. She had three kids. One died in a car accident, but the other two get along very well with her as adults, but they tell me they had some crazy tense times as a family growing up. They lived far out in the country (Pumpkin Ridge before it was famous, lol) and she kept them outside all day in almost all weather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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