indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 This is hypothetical :D Say, you live 1500 miles from where you grew up. The weather was very different, the town much more isolated, but you make a livable income and in the next year, can buy a house well below your means and live even better. This would allow you to travel home once a year and start paying down some large student loans. But it's lonely. And making friends is slow going. But DH truly loves his job. Home would be lovely. Both you and your DH are from there, and all of your family lives there. Weather is vastly better and there is culture and opportunities. Downside, it would cost at least twice as much to live there, and more like trice as much. You'd never be able to own a home, rent a dump at crazy high prices and take forever to pay down student loans. Finances would always be a stress. So, which scenario would you choose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Culture and family over material goods, every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Scenario 1. For sure. BUT, I'm married to a military man and my kids and husband are the family that I need close. It's nice to be around extended family, but not necessary. There is something to be said for creating your own family, your own home, your own traditions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think I would choose to live better, financially, and just continue to try and make friends and explore the town. It's no fun to live where you can't afford to do anything and you're not even comfortable in your home/neighborhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I would stay where I was and maybe move somewhere nearby if I thought it would help w/ the activities and friends issue. I would never consider moving home in those circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Scenario 1. For sure. BUT, I'm married to a military man and my kids and husband are the family that I need close. It's nice to be around extended family, but not necessary. There is something to be said for creating your own family, your own home, your own traditions. This is a lovely sentiment. I admit, I sometimes long for more of my extended family and friends and forget the lovely little family I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I would stay where I was and maybe move somewhere nearby if I thought it would help w/ the activities and friends issue. I would never consider moving home in those circumstances. There truly is no where closer to.... anything. Next bigger town 1 1/2hrs away. City: 3 hours. If the choice is option 1, there is no moving outside of the current area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Dh and I never agree how to spend money, so financial stresses are too much for us. That is the missing part of your equation. If EITHER of you will resent not owning a house, you should not move. If your dh would not be able to find enjoyable employment, you should not move. If you will always be to poor relation, you should not move. But if those things are not real problems, you might think about it. Grandparents can be such an amazing blessing to children, that if you can give them regular access to great grandparents, (and by great, I mean eager to spend time with them), then if neither you or your spouse is disenfranchised, you probably should consider it. But never owning a home is really big sacrifice. If your dh is not happy at work, that is an even bigger one. And probably those things trump grandparents, if not having them makes someone really unhappy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 To me, the decision to take on student loans means you decided to pay then off as soon as possible. I'd pick A, rent cheaply, pay of everything ASAP (no travel, rice and beans, etc), and then decide. Another critical point for me- if dh loved the work in location a and felt better about providing for his family there - we'd stay there. Still, I'd live cheap, pay off everything, and then make a final decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Stay without money stress. Plus, even lacking family support, at least you are also lacking family stress. Build your own life. Love your town. Let DH love his job. Cover 'culture' on vacations, Plus, as your parents age, their expenses might become a problem in their high cost-of-living location too. They would at least have the option of thinking about your location as a viable option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Dh and I never agree how to spend money, so financial stresses are too much for us. That is the missing part of your equation. If EITHER of you will resent not owning a house, you should not move. If your dh would not be able to find enjoyable employment, you should not move. If you will always be to poor relation, you should not move. But if those things are not real problems, you might think about it. Grandparents can be such an amazing blessing to children, that if you can give them regular access to great grandparents, (and by great, I mean eager to spend time with them), then if neither you or your spouse is disenfranchised, you probably should consider it. But never owning a home is really big sacrifice. If your dh is not happy at work, that is an even bigger one. And probably those things trump grandparents, if not having them makes someone really unhappy. I will greatly miss not owning a home. For a variety of reasons. DH is much more flexible. The job back home (just a possibility at this point) could go either way. We could not move without a job lined up, though. I and my children miss having the grandparents around for all the little things in life. It's tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'd choose scenario 1. I'm living in a place I hate, feel isolated, and lacking support, but I will make it work for a few years because the income is good, we own our own place, and it gives security for our family and kids. Money problems are pretty stressful and can be really hard on a marriage. It's hard feeling isolated too though, I get it. There are ways to help ease that a little and make it livable though. Once we have hit a specific point with our finances, we are leaving here. That's been the agreement anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 If I could afford it, I would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTmom Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Can you do scenario 1 for a few years and save some money and then move closer to family later? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Scenario 1, easy. But, we are also a military family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Absolutely #1, but we've never lived near family, like hanging out just the four of us, and #1 would (does!!) make us happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Can you do scenario 1 for a few years and save some money and then move closer to family later? Jobs in my DH's field are very hard to come by back home. So, this might be a one-time opportunity. But we could do #1 for a few years, and then get closer to home, but not home. Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I would not move back home. A house is an asset that (in most circumstances) increases in value over time. And hubby loving his job is priceless. If you are living within your means (and below), then travel opportunities abound--not just back home, but all over. Maybe meet up with friends/family more than once a year--beach vacay? Mt retreat? Living with a financial cushion is a great thing, imo. And learning to be satisfied wherever is also a good thing. Are you sure there aren't any cultural opportunities near you? Is there local theatre? Poetry readings at the library? Public high school performances of plays/musicals? (Some are quite good!) Surely there is a museum of some sort near you--or an art gallery. 3 hours is an overnight field trip--and with a little extra money, you could visit the Big City and see "things" several times a year. IDK where you are, but I would stay, and really use my detective skills to seek out opportunities. Caveat--I am not close to my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I will greatly miss not owning a home. For a variety of reasons. DH is much more flexible. The job back home (just a possibility at this point) could go either way. We could not move without a job lined up, though. I and my children miss having the grandparents around for all the little things in life. It's tough. We're kind of in both situations. We moved back to our area to be closer to my parents. Because of finances we had to move further out of the city and while this town is quaint, there is nothing cultural. We're also too broke to drive into town all the time (money, plus wear and tear on cars). So while it's a great place to be broke - think laid back - it's very hard to have no outlets. However, if we moved closer to my parents area, we really couldn't afford to do those things because we'd be paying higher housing and utility costs. Being close to family that you love and loves you back is priceless. My parents were there for me when I separated and I've been there for them since my dad has been ill most of the fall. We really did need each other and the bonds ds has with them are also priceless. I had no grandparents that cared about me, so it was worth sacrificing some things to be back here (hate the winters for example). if my school weren't 30 minutes in the opposite direction of my parents, I'd move now. I'd even rent to be closer to social outlets. We have no friends in this town because most teen activities are through the church, school, or people drive to the nearest cities. We don't attend church or do school stuff, so it's been isolating. I'm an introvert as is ds and after 4 years I'm kind of tired of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Scenario 1............. it takes work to create a "family" of friends, so I'd focus on that. We have great friends that we are as close to as we are to family, and spend many holidays with them if family isn't around. I don't do financial stress very well, though. Financial stability is very important to us. So is family but we can see them a few times a year, with the taking of turns. Mine visit us 2-3 times a year, and we visit them 2 times a year (once with dh and once without). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Rent a dump? nope. Finances always a *stress*? Nope. If the difference is just a "fancy" "huge" house vs a "tidy small" house, then, sure, I'd go home. But, dh loves his job. Would he be able to readily find a job he loves if you move? A full-time career worker loving his (or her) job is HUGE. And, since you are on a homeschool board, and most hs families live on one income (or one plus a little bit), then that means your dh is likely the sole or at least primary earner, so that pressure on him to thrive in his work is huge. I wouldn't underestimate the negative impact of moving somewhere that would require him to leave a job he loves and that is comfortably supporting his family . . . for ANYwhere that wouldn't provide that. Family is first, but YOUR immediate little family is the most vital priority. If you can move closer to family without sacrificing your dh's happiness both in his job itself as well as in his ability to support your family . . . then go for it. Seems to me like you'd be signing up for a lifetime of financial stress, which would likely ultimately lead to marital and family stress, and likely present some very hard choices about dh working two jobs, getting a less satisfying but more lucrative job, you working (or working more, or working at a more lucrative but less family-friendly or satisfying job), not providing your kids with the homeschooling or other opportunities you prefer . .. not taking vacations, etc. Those things are all very important to a family, too. I'd stay put, and I'd put more energy into making where you are a home, making connections, etc. And, I'd budget in an extra few visits home over the coming years while you are still adjusting. FWIW, I always said I'd move anywhere (village in Africa, wherever) as long as I was with dh . .. because wherever he is, is where home is. I am *not* a Stepford wife, and I have plenty of strong opinions . . . but at the end of the day, as long as dh, kids, and I are together in a safe comfortable home . . . I am just fine. I can visit my other family . . . We moved to where we are settled (for 11 years so far and will be forever most likely due to us owning a business here) . . . without me even *visiting* here. And we were buying the business and taking on a lifetime of debt to do so . .. No looking back or reassessing possible. And, it was only a 3.5 hr drive from where we were! I *could* have visited to evaluate . . . but why bother with the stress of three young kids/toddler/etc . . . when I knew it really didn't matter . . . I'd be fine. Wherever. :) And, we are!! It took 5 years for it to feel like "home" but now we are totally rooted here and it feels more like home than anywhere else I ever lived or could imagine. Hang in there. Seek out friends and connections. It takes a lot longer to make real friendships as we get older. A LOT longer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 You can PM me, but we moved a long way for work. It's hard. Very. I miss people. Absolutely. But I love my new temporary home. I miss my family like crazy, but wow, the benefits! I feel beyond lucky to have this experience. My kids can tell you that as well. It's different, but it is really good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I personally would take the job husband loves and the easier financial situation. But then I have moved so many times in my life that I really don't know what it would feel like to have strong ties to a hometown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 #1. I'd never leave a job that dh is happy at. Those are harder to come by than you think, and pretty much nothing is worse than having a dh who hates his job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I will PM you :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 #1 for very specific reasons: I HATE living on a tight budget. We can live on dhs' wages, but I work outside the home, to have my own money, so I don't have a tight budget . I know he can pay all the bills plus some left over. My wages are all gravy. If the household budget was tight, it would send me over the edge. Dh has had some bad work experiences over the past 10 years. I would love for him to actually have a job he liked for a change. Dh and I rarely see family as it is, so decreasing that to once a year or so wouldn't be a bid deal. (assuming you could travel once a year to see family and still take a vacation) I spend most of my time at home. I want to enjoy my house. I don't really have many friends IRL and ya'll travel on my laptop wherever I live. :0) Working outside the house helps with this though, because I do have work friends, and talk to adults IRL every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Situation 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Surely there is something mid-way......not a full 1,500 miles away, but not next door either? Something 200 miles away maybe? Any option C ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'd pick number 1, but after I bought a niceish house there, my next spending priority would be to start travelling home much more often. I'd go at least 2-3 times per year, maybe DH along only for one of them, and if I couldn't swing that I might pay for airline tickets for the grandparents to visit me once a year. That would be an awesome Christmas present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Making friends and finding a real group and your comfort zone takes a year or two, even when you are accustomed to doing it over and over. We have lived away from "home" for over 20 years. It is lonely sometimes. I miss my family. But, that is what we have chosen for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Option one, without question. Money matters. A lot. If you said your dh hated his job and had no other options where you are currently living, that would make a difference, but as you describe it, I would absolutely choose the financially advantageous option. Sorry -- I got the feeling that you might be hoping everyone would recommend the second option near family, but it seems like a very irresponsible choice for you at this time -- and will you really be happy if you are constantly worrying about money and if you know your financial situation may never improve? I would think that level of financial stress would have a huge impact on not only your lifestyle, but also your state of mind, so you might not be as happy at "home" as you are imagining you will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Culture and family over material goods, every time. But she isn't talking about luxuries here. She is talking about making a choice between buying a nice little house in one scenario and "renting a dump at crazy high prices," never being able to afford a house, and always having to worry about finances in the other option. And really, how many cultural activities will they be able to afford if they are struggling to pay the rent and put food on the table? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 There truly is no where closer to.... anything. Next bigger town 1 1/2hrs away. City: 3 hours. If the choice is option 1, there is no moving outside of the current area. So, what are we talking here in terms of distance/ driving time from your family and home town? A few hours? Several? I mean, I know you said "hypothetically" 1500 miles away. But, it might make a difference to me depending on how far away I actually was from where I wanted to be. Right now, I'd definitely lean towards #1, just because while your kids would miss their grandparents, I think they'd definitely still prefer childhood memories where Mom and Dad were reasonably happy, than memories where they were always stressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I would definitely choose #1. Money stresses me out so much. I would love to not have to worry so much about finances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 This is hypothetical :D Say, you live 1500 miles from where you grew up. The weather was very different, the town much more isolated, but you make a livable income and in the next year, can buy a house well below your means and live even better. This would allow you to travel home once a year and start paying down some large student loans. But it's lonely. And making friends is slow going. But DH truly loves his job. Home would be lovely. Both you and your DH are from there, and all of your family lives there. Weather is vastly better and there is culture and opportunities. Downside, it would cost at least twice as much to live there, and more like trice as much. You'd never be able to own a home, rent a dump at crazy high prices and take forever to pay down student loans. Finances would always be a stress. So, which scenario would you choose? That's a really individual decision. I wouldn't mind being away from family. :lol: I find them stifling. I currently live 17 hours from my side of the family, and I'm cool with that. DH's family lives within 15 minutes of us, and that can be very taxing. It's not that we have bad families. Family is just... family. Especially extended family, because honestly, I don't think they're all that important anymore. The relationships with that family that we came from are not as important as the relationships of my family, as in the people who live in my house. Anyone who doesn't live in my house isn't my immediate family - parents, siblings, etc - those are all extended family now. Does that make sense? So anyway, I wouldn't move back to be with family just because I wanted to be with family... because I wouldn't want to. I can't say I'd love to live somewhere I didn't like, though, either - I'd probably do something else all together. Clear as mud? :lol: Like I said, individual decision. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Option 2 would make sense if you are moving to your parents home (which a neighbor did so they could rent out their place) and/or you work part time while your parents help to babysit. Most parents don't want their kids family to have to live in a "dump" just to be able to see the grandkids daily. My family and in-laws are a Pacific Ocean away. Unless hubby can find a suitable job back home, we won't be able to move back. We use Skype and FaceTime to keep in touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 #1. I am 2000 miles from my family. I miss them. But we are barely making it here. We could not survive there. I don't travel home. Ever. Life doesn't always give you the choices you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I also tend to no. 1 but it depends on so much. Do you like where you live at the moment at all (aside of missing family)? If you are miserable there it might change my opinion. You said there is no culture etc. where you are at the moment. How bad is it? Are there plenty of opportunities for the kids as they get older? If the choice is between living in a city with world-class museums etc. and a small town with "normal" offerings I would probably stay. If however there is absolutely nothing where you are now it might be different. Are there any opportunities where you are now that would be missing if you go? It sounds like you live more rural now - having lots of open spaces, nature etc. is definitely worth something. How dire would your financial situation be if you move? What do you mean by "dump"? Would it still be a save area? If we are talking about renting a smaller, older home in a decent but not fancy neighborhood I would maybe go for it. If we are talking about an iffy neighborhood - definitely no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 With 5 kids and existing debt, I would chose option 2 and re-evaluate in 5-10 years. (ETA - in case that wasn't clear, I meant stay put. Sorry about that). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'd move home for now. Your kids are young. Your parents are not. Your kids won't know you are poor. But they will know if they get to see family. Move home for 5 years or more, give them a connection to their grandparents. Give your grandparents that opportunity. You can't go back and fix that later. Bluntly, the grandparents may not be around a few years from now. You could end up moving back for 5-10 yrs, they may pass on, and then you could move wherever you want. But the other way doesn't work. If you stay where you are for 5-10 yrs, the grandparents, if around, will not be in the same shape, will not have the same ability to play with grandkids, babysit, etc that they do now. You don't have to live next door, but within 30 minutes of grandparents, or at least an hour, is priceless. Or, have you talked to your parents about them moving near you? If cost of living is so much lower, is that an option? My sister and I both moved to Central Florida as adults, and my parents ended up following, staying on the coast because they love the water, but within an hours drive. I am so very grateful they did. My kids have an amazing relationship with them, and that's worth living in a small apartment for a few years, to me. Unless your husband would hate the job in the new town. That would be an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Surely there is something mid-way......not a full 1,500 miles away, but not next door either? Something 200 miles away maybe? Any option C ? Currently, no. We've both agreed, there is no option C. For a variety of reasons. I will and am make the best of option A, for as long as it needs to be. But if option B became available, I am having a hard time reconciling financial peace vs. extended family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 We struggled with this very situation also. DH was needing a new job and we considered moving closer to my large extended family (who we get along with). Currently, we live 350 miles away. The problem? Dh would have to continue to commute long distances- thus not seeing his immediate family as much. He would have to work more hours to afford a dumpy home - thus not seeing his family as much. It would put some serious financial stress on us thus making our family life worse. Our current situation is such that he was commuting long distances (an hour, which I know a lot of people do, but it was stressing our family) and he just recently got a new job. The job will be 1000 miles away from my extended family. Why did we do this? For the health and well being of our immediate family. The cost of living is lower, the weather is better, and dh's commute will be 10-15 minutes. Yes, I love my extended family and would LOVE to be closer to them physically, but we need to consider first our immediate family situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Thank you for everyone's perspective. It's been interesting to read the different opinions and the whys behind them. For the sake of my "hypothetical" situation. There is only a scenario A (where we currently are and have been for 2 years) and a scenario B (which is still just a possibility. Previously, if I had been asked, I would have chosen B in a heart beat, but now as B might actually be a possibility, I'm not so sure. The only debt we do have is student loans, but there is a bit, and getting rid of them while staying here would be a big relief. Especially, if we stopped renting and bought a cute little house, which would be cheaper than renting, and would make this place feel so much more like a home, ykwim? Yes, it is rural and isolated. And i haven't even visited "home/family" in 3 years! Moving, would mean grandparents, and cousins, and old friends. Things to do and see. Nice weather :) But an apartment, condo, townhouse or teeny tiny old run down house, would be twice what we pay in rent here and even more than what a mortgage would be here. An average/typical house in an average neighborhood would be 2 1/2 times prices here. DH would like the jobs in both places, but really likes the one here, and the one there it would be a little harder to know until he was there. And the pay would be about the same. I guess I posted because it has become not as easy a decision, as I had once thought. I will/am going to make the best of either. Because my immediate family is a joy, no matter where I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Could you take turns visiting each other? I know maybe you could only go annually, but could the grandparents (or other family?) visit you where you live? Or meet half way? We have not been home in a while, but soon that will change, and we will be able to make it home, once a year. My mom comes at least once a year. His try hard to make it once a year or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 We have not been home in a while, but soon that will change, and we will be able to make it home, once a year. My mom comes at least once a year. His try hard to make it once a year or so. I do get the desire to move closer to family. We actually moved back to my home town when my kids were little even though I loved living in a bigger city. It was great for my boys to have a close relationship with their grandfather. Still, one more thing to consider: You said that you haven't been home in a while. Don't forget that things change a lot and you might not feel as close to friends/relatives as you used to. You have changed and so have they. It isn't always easy to "go back home". Also, short visits are different from actually living there. Being close has a lot of positives but it also has negatives. I guess for me it would come down to how unstable your financial situation would be in scenario 2 (i.e. safety of neigborhood, ability to even access culture and other offerings, daily financial worries). I think family would win if it just meant a less than affluent lifestyle. Once I started to feel "poor" I probably would decide otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Dh and I are I a sort of similar position. We live un the area we grew up, we have roots here, our families are all here and we are close to them. My parents really really depend on us ( not physically, but emotionally, and they are very attached to the kids, we see them 2-3 times a week) and it would kill them if we moved. But, The jobs situation around here isn't great for dh and the big thing is air quality is really affecting out health. I've been in allergy shots for 10 years and I still get 2-3 sinus infections a year and we all feel lousy most of the time. But, we're staying here. For us, family and culture do outweigh most other considerations. Although just last night DH was researching other metropolitan areas with better air quality than us. Which is definitely out of California. I thing the Lung Association gave most counties in California an "F" for air quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I despise money stress. If it was simply between living very comfortably, and living frugally, but still able to pay stuff off and not worry, I'd have a different answer. In this specific situation, I'd pick #1. Actually, we did pick number one, although it happens to be by family. In another life we'd make enough to move back to SF. It would be way too stressful financially and to us, it's not worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'd stay where it is cheap and where I have the ability to pay debts and live in a home of my own. Visit family once a year, find other things to do, maybe in a town farther away (this is what we do). Can't help you with the weather, I'd move if it sucked bad enough, but to someplace with the same COL/job opportunities. I love my family, my mom and my sisters are my only friends (I like it that way) but I've never had a problem living 1500 miles away from them. The only reason we moved back home is so my kids can get to know everyone better. Still this is only temporary. We'll be moving back south in a couple years because I can't take the cold (-5 degrees this week, that's NEGATIVE, as in 37 degrees below freezing.... I miss NC). So unless one of those things is a deal breaker, I'd stay. Or do like us and move knowing it's temporary, for as long as you can stand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 We make a 5000mi round trip every year to visit dh's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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