s/o If you are a social drinker, would you be frustrated if a formal social event did not serve alcohol?

[Lisa R.]

I was part of a team that helped organize a 300 person fundraiser for a non-profit organization. It is a Christian organization that focuses on education not missions (if that matters). There was a lovely dinner and silent and live auction. No alcohol was served.

 

If you went to an adult-only gathering, would you be frustrated that alcohol wasn't served? Would you be able to enjoy yourself without alcohol being served? 

 

I guess I'm surprised that I'm hearing some negative feedback about an otherwise lovely event regarding the absence of alcohol.  Does its absence really make an evening that much less fun? 

 

 

[Julie Smith]

It doesn't to me or Dh. 

 

Most in my extended family if asked would comment negatively on it. 

[linders]

No, I wouldn't mind, and I'm a social drinker. If I'm not the organizer, it isn't my call.

 

However, I will note that silent auctions do much better when there is alcohol!

[Mandylubug]

I would expect it to be alcohol free if hosted by a Christian organization.

[Laura Corin]

It wouldn't worry me.  I drink at home a couple of nights a week, but I often don't drink when I go out, either because I'm driving or because I don't feel like it.

 

L

[Sun]

I wouldn't be frustrated, but it would seem extremely odd. In my area and social groups, most people drink, and a formal social event in the evening would almost invariably have alcohol.

 

edited to add: I missed the Christian organization part. I'd still be a little surprised if it were a denomination where alcohol use is not frowned upon, but I wouldn't find it frustrating or feel the need to comment on it one way or another.

[Joanne]

In my opinion, professional and personal, it would typically only be people with some level of problem who would be upset about no alcohol.

 

It is also typically only people with a problem that care or want others to drink.

[LucyStoner]

It wouldn't bother me. At all.

 

Though, fundraisers in the evening which include alcohol tend to be more successful in terms of dollars raised.

[Wildcat]

It wouldn't worry me.  I drink at home a couple of nights a week, but I often don't drink when I go out, either because I'm driving or because I don't feel like it.

 

L

 

This is us. I also don't buy drinks at dinner because I'm too cheap!

 

I'm in the Bible Belt, so the likelihood of alcohol at an organized event in the first place is close to nil.

[Amy in NH]

No.  I think it is entirely appropriate not serve alcohol at an event of the type you described.

[hillfarm]

If I went to any event, fundraiser or otherwise, that was being held in a church, I would not be in the least bit surprised if no alcohol was served. Since I'm Baptist, it always mildly surprises me when I go to the Lutheran church or the Catholic churches in our area and alcohol is served there sometimes. I'm not horrified or anything, just mildly surprised because it is not commonly served at my church.

 

[kewb]

It would not bother me.  I can have a good time with or without a glass of wine or a cosmo.  I do have family that hates the fact that anytime I had a party for the children's birthday parties they were dry parties. 

 

I usually find that social drinkers who complain about the lack of alcohol at a social event are social alcoholics.  These are people who don't normally drink alone or stop in bars but expect to drink at a party.

[5of5]

I wouldn’t be surprised, and I doubt I would be disappointed. If it was another kind of event where alcohol was typically available, then I would be surprised, but can’t see complaining about it.

[EKS]

It wouldn't bother me.  However, it's well known that alcohol tends to lubricate pocketbooks at such events, so they may want to reconsider in the future.

[brehon]

No, it wouldn't bother me at all. I agree with Joanne about who would be bothered by this.

[T'smom]

I am not a social drinker, but I do attend church and Christian functions regularly and there is never alcohol served. That may have something to do with location and denomination, but I would still think that it would not be common to serve alcohol at a function put on by a Christian organization.

[hsbeth]

I would not at all be surprised, nor would I be disappointed. I never assume that an event is going to be dry OR that alcohol will be available, it's not important.

[ErinE]

No, I would not, particularly a Christian fundraiser. If it was an art, dance, or community fundraiser, I would find it odd; such people do like their wine and mixed drinks.

[bettyandbob]

I have a glass of wine maybe once a month. If I am out at a nice event with a nice dinner served, I might be disappointed (maybe not disappointed, but think it odd) if wine was not available with the dinner. However, I wouldn't say anything and would probably assume that the decision not to serve alcohol has to do with the religious association of the event (although I'm a lifelong Episcopalian and there doesn't seem to be a reason not to have alcohol at Episcopal events).

 

I agree with Joanne. The people who complain are likely to have a problem with alcohol themselves.

[marbel]

I do enjoy wine with dinner, but no, I wouldn't be surprised or disappointed.  There are many reasons not to serve alcohol at a gathering.  If there was wine I'd have a glass though!

[Ravin]

Alcohol is expensive, and serving it can cost more because of the liability burden, plus a venue where it can be served may also be more expensive. So no, I don't see a problem.

[Word Nerd]

It wouldn't bother me.

[Joanne]

I was at a 30th anniversary event last night for my graduate school - an ecumenical seminary. It was held in a large hotel in the area of Houston known as the Galleria plates were $150 (I was a guest!!). Most events there would include alcohol. This one did not and they served sparkling cider, coffee, tea and water. It seemed appropriate and congruent with the event.

[zoobie]

I live in the Deep South and would assume a protestant religious conference type thing would NOT have alcohol. No matter what type of event it is, adding alcohol increases the cost--you have to have licensed bartenders, liability insurance increases, etc. Anyone who complains can plan and pay for the next event!

[momma2three]

As it's a fundraiser, I would assume that they're trying to save money... alcohol is a huge cost sink.

[bolt.]

It wouldn't bother me, but I can see where I "might have had even more fun" can factor into the feedback.

[zoobie]

Sorry--the world's slowest double post. I think my interwebs are broken.

[Mrs Mungo]

It would not bother me.

[Spy Car]

I was part of a team that helped organize a 300 person fundraiser for a non-profit organization. It is a Christian organization that focuses on education not missions (if that matters). There was a lovely dinner and silent and live auction. No alcohol was served.

 

If you went to an adult-only gathering, would you be frustrated that alcohol wasn't served? Would you be able to enjoy yourself without alcohol being served? 

 

I guess I'm surprised that I'm hearing some negative feedback about an otherwise lovely event regarding the absence of alcohol.  Does its absence really make an evening that much less fun? 

 

Not me. But if you had a breakfast without coffee there would be hell-to-pay :D

 

That said, I think there is a large class of folks who are as habituated to their evening drink as I am to my morning coffee, and they would get seriously irked if that routine is impinged. You can count on such folks (and there are a lot of them) to be seriously bugged, frustrated, and unhappy. For sure.

 

Not me. I just have a different habit.

 

My name is Bill (and I'm a caffeine addict)

[BigMamaBird]

I have maybe one drink a month at the most.  I would have absolutely no problem with a social event not having alcohol.  My SIL however, will get in a downright snit if there's not an open bar at a wedding.   :glare:

[Wilma]

I wouldn't be bothered even a tiny bit. In fact, I'd probably be oblivious. Actually, I think it would be a little weird to have a Christian organization serving drinks. Not that I don't drink, just that some people have convictions against it.

[LostSurprise]

Perhaps they do a lot of other charity things (but not necessarily 'churchy' things) and not having alcohol made it seem less fancy or special (or maybe they're used to alcohol spicing up a dull evening). I've noticed non-religious people don't necessarily have the 'no-alcohol' cue (from experience) that some denominations have. In that case, they are looking for what's missing from making it a special occasion so more people will participate and raise money. Just a thought. We often have different experiences that lead us to have different expectations.

 

 

Just invite a large group to a 'Family New Years Party' where you can 'drop in or drop out within these times' and 'leave your kids with us.' See how many people are surprised that alcohol isn't served. There's always at least one couple. They just have the association in their mind. 

[trinchick]

Honestly... I wouldn't be bothered, but I might be disappointed. If I were going to a "lovely dinner" with 300 people, I'd probably dress up and get a babysitter. This would be a big night out for us (we don't usually do either), so a glass of wine or two with dinner would definitely make it more fun for me. 

 

Our church (Episcopal, and as a PP said we have no issues with social drinking) has our annual auction night this time of year. It is DH and my favorite night out. Beer and wine are served - even in the actual church. No one gets drunk, but it does have a more festive feel than most of our church's other events. 

 

 

[PeachyDoodle]

This is an interesting question. I've been having a similar discussion with my sister about her upcoming wedding (she and fiance are social drinkers, dh and I do not drink at all, nor do most of my and my sister's extended family). She has been bemoaning the cost of her reception, and I suggested she forego the alcohol. She recoiled in horror. I guess I didn't see it as that big of a deal since I don't drink. Does it change anyone's opinion if the event in question is a wedding?

 

ETA: Not trying to highjack. Should I have started a separate thread?

[Kim in Appalachia]

No.  It would not bother me.

 

 

[bettyandbob]

This is an interesting question. I've been having a similar discussion with my sister about her upcoming wedding (she and fiance are social drinkers, dh and I do not drink at all, nor do most of my and my sister's extended family). She has been bemoaning the cost of her reception, and I suggested she forego the alcohol. She recoiled in horror. I guess I didn't see it as that big of a deal since I don't drink. Does it change anyone's opinion if the event in question is a wedding?

 

ETA: Not trying to highjack. Should I have started a separate thread?

 

The person paying for the wedding has the right to choose not to serve alcohol. If I were planning a no alcohol event, I would not schedule it in the evening.

 

I think alcohol at my wedding was limited to wine served with the meal. That's can be expensive, but open bar is astronomical...

 

Again, at a wedding, I might think it odd to have no alcohol, but I'm there to celebrate the couple not get drunk. I don't respond to invitations expecting free flowing alcohol. I can recognize the hosts of the party planned the party the way they wanted. Saying a reception is bad simply because there was no alcohol is ridiculous and would make me wonder about the person saying it.

[elegantlion]

At a christian event, no. Around here you'd be hard pressed to find a christian event that included alcohol. 

 

As Bill said, there better be coffee, any time of day. 

[Tess in the Burbs]

um seriously?  people are thinking a Christian group would serve alcohol??  I'm surprised by the feedback but I have found it would be odd to have alcohol at a Christian function since alcohol is such a tempter to many people.  

 

No, if the event has no alcohol it's ok.  In fact I went to a party at a friend's house.  She is Mormon so I assumed there would be no alcohol.  But several people brought it!  Some did drink there, others chose not to(who had brought it).  But I had a great time without it.  I don't expect alcohol at an adult event.  I'm ok if it is as well.

 

 I had dinner company last week who I thought didn't drink and they showed up with bottles of wine, opened them all and started downing them quickly!  I was surprised, but okay, whatever they wanted.....

[susankenny]

Yes. Is that bad? :D

[jillian]

I wouldn't mind even though I do love having a good drink once in awhile at a party or event.

[jillian]

This is an interesting question. I've been having a similar discussion with my sister about her upcoming wedding (she and fiance are social drinkers, dh and I do not drink at all, nor do most of my and my sister's extended family). She has been bemoaning the cost of her reception, and I suggested she forego the alcohol. She recoiled in horror. I guess I didn't see it as that big of a deal since I don't drink. Does it change anyone's opinion if the event in question is a wedding?

 

ETA: Not trying to highjack. Should I have started a separate thread?

 

we did beer and wine for social drinking and champagne for toasts but that's it at ours. ours wasn't much more expensive with than without

[bettyandbob]

um seriously?  people are thinking a Christian group would serve alcohol??  I'm surprised by the feedback but I have found it would be odd to have alcohol at a Christian function since alcohol is such a tempter to many people.  

 

No, if the event has no alcohol it's ok.  In fact I went to a party at a friend's house.  She is Mormon so I assumed there would be no alcohol.  But several people brought it!  Some did drink there, others chose not to(who had brought it).  But I had a great time without it.  I don't expect alcohol at an adult event.  I'm ok if it is as well.

 

 I had dinner company last week who I thought didn't drink and they showed up with bottles of wine, opened them all and started downing them quickly!  I was surprised, but okay, whatever they wanted.....

 

Christian groups that serve alcohol vary by region and denomination. There are many churches in my area that would serve alcohol at church events.

 

Bringing alcohol to the home of someone who is Mormon and consuming it there is ... well I can't think of one word to describe the level of rudeness, stupidity and more. {unless the host has told people go ahead and drink in my house, but I can't imagine any Mormon doing that}. I wouldn't bring coffee, tea or cola to a Mormon friend's house either. I'd go and enjoy her company and abstain from those things during the few hours I was there. It's not that hard. If I was desperate I'd drink my caffeine before I went.

[mytwomonkeys]

um seriously?  people are thinking a Christian group would serve alcohol??  I'm surprised by the feedback but I have found it would be odd to have alcohol at a Christian function since alcohol is such a tempter to many people.  

 

not to totally go off topic, but my parents attend a presbyterian church (my dad is an elder) and they serve alcohol at their "supper of 8", church retreats, and various functions.  even the minister will have a glass of wine at "supper of 8" (not sure what that is really).  my mom attends weekend women retreats with speakers and activities. wine & beer are always available.  my oldest sister attends an episcopalian church and they have kegs at outdoor events. i consider both of these churches to be very traditional too, not trying to connect with young people or be "hip" or anything like that.  my dad is 70, lol.  it just seems to be their norm.

[mytwomonkeys]

This is an interesting question. I've been having a similar discussion with my sister about her upcoming wedding (she and fiance are social drinkers, dh and I do not drink at all, nor do most of my and my sister's extended family). She has been bemoaning the cost of her reception, and I suggested she forego the alcohol. She recoiled in horror. I guess I didn't see it as that big of a deal since I don't drink. Does it change anyone's opinion if the event in question is a wedding?

 

ETA: Not trying to highjack. Should I have started a separate thread?

 

there was no alcohol served at our reception. my entire family (from my parents down to my 3rd cousins, lol) considered it high treason.  they all had a reception after the reception to remedy the crime :)

[PeachyDoodle]

The person paying for the wedding has the right to choose not to serve alcohol. If I were planning a no alcohol event, I would not schedule it in the evening.

 

I think alcohol at my wedding was limited to wine served with the meal. That's can be expensive, but open bar is astronomical...

 

Again, at a wedding, I might think it odd to have no alcohol, but I'm there to celebrate the couple not get drunk. I don't respond to invitations expecting free flowing alcohol. I can recognize the hosts of the party planned the party the way they wanted. Saying a reception is bad simply because there was no alcohol is ridiculous and would make me wonder about the person saying it.

 

See, that's what I'm thinking too. Hers will probably be late afternoon/evening, so maybe that's why she's so adamant. She's not crazy about just doing beer/wine, but that's probably what she will go with. I guess I was just surprised at the vehemence of her reaction.

 

Another issue is that my parents (especially my father) do not drink, so I suppose I feel that it is a little disrespectful of her to expect them to cover the rather extensive cost of a bar. Then again, I really think she's already crossed that line with the extravagance of the event she's planning (at their expense)... but that's definitely another thread! :)

[lavender's green]

I wouldn't be frustrated if a large social event did not serve alcohol, especially if it was church or work-related.  I enjoy an evening drink or two on a regular basis, but if I can't get it, no problem.

 

I would find said event a lot more festive, though!  Like a PP said, if I'm going to get a sitter and dress up for an evening out with DH, a glass of wine at dinner would be nice.  But if not...oh well.

[SKL]

I agree with most of what has been stated above.  If someone cannot enjoy an experience without alcohol, alcoholism might be behind that.  I once traveled across country with someone and saw how the availability alcohol controlled his ability to enjoy life.  It was so strange to me because that it not normal in my circles.

 

I also agree that if you market it as an event that serves alcohol, you can bring in a lot more money when you sell tickets.  I don't entirely understand the psychology behind that, but I have seen it play out many times.

 

Now if we're talking about a traditional US wedding, alcohol is part of the tradition and leaving it out will be noticed.  My first thought, assuming no religious reason for it, would be that there is some attendee who is an angry drunk and the couple did not want to have that at their wedding.  Which I totally understand.  I have seen a wedding reception get ugly because the best man was an angry drunk.  Blood, cops, ambulance.  Nobody should have to have their wedding marred like that.

[Ipsey]

Wouldn't bother me--non-drinker, or my husband--who drinks occasionally.

 

If we know it is an event where most of the people will have "issues" (religious or otherwise) with alcohol, it seems perfectly reasonable for it to not be served.

 

When my husband and I got married, I expected that our wedding reception would not have alcohol, but my husband expected we would. I was from a very conservative frame of mind, and had not really been to many weddings before, so I never noticed whether weddings served alcohol or not. He was from and Irish Catholic family, and that was just a part of the celebration. I recognized that, and so we served champagne, and it turned out just fine. Turns out, most weddings I've ever been to had and have alcohol. No one got trashed, and no one was forced to drink. I've come to expect that most weddings and other adult occasions will have alcohol as the default. This is less common in the United States, though. _Every_ gathering I was every a part of in France and Germany and Japan had alcohol available. It wasn't a big deal AT ALL. People make a much bigger deal of it in the US

 

I've been to plenty of Mennonite weddings where there was no alcohol and no one complained. :)

 

I don't care whether people serve it or not. I do appreciate it when people drink responsibly.

 

 

 

 

[bettyandbob]

 

I also agree that if you market it as an event that serves alcohol, you can bring in a lot more money when you sell tickets.  I don't entirely understand the psychology behind that, but I have seen it play out many times.

 

 

I think when you serve alcohol at a silent auction bidding can go higher, because of the reduced inhibitions.

[Arcadia]

For a formal social event, I won't expect alcohol unless it is stated as a wine and dine event.

 

I've been having a similar discussion with my sister about her upcoming wedding (she and fiance are social drinkers, dh and I do not drink at all, nor do most of my and my sister's extended family). She has been bemoaning the cost of her reception, and I suggested she forego the alcohol. She recoiled in horror. I guess I didn't see it as that big of a deal since I don't drink. Does it change anyone's opinion if the event in question is a wedding?

 

It might be cultural and/or regional.  My family and friends' wedding receptions have all included champagne being served for the wedding toast as well as alcohol (red wine, white wine, beer) being served throughout the reception,  Guests who are heavy drinkers would bring their own wine, brandy, whiskey, stout etc... so as not to burden the hosts.