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Lisa R.

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About Lisa R.

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    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

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  1. Women now have the luxury of doing what they want and wearing what they want. No make up, no hair color, no tailed clothing? Fine. I prefer to fight it. I found that once I hit my 40s, it took more effort to maintain the way I wanted to look. Clothing needed to be more fitted, make up adjusted, hair color touched up and touched up more often. Exercise and diet become more critical as metabolism changed. For anyone wanted to fight middle aged frump (and, again, it’s fine if you don’t!), I suggest: -trip to Sephora. Ask one of the staff to help update makeup to current style and changing skin -ask a hair stylist you trust to update hair cut. If you haven’t changed your hair style in the past 10 years, an update will do wonders. Consider whether or not to color. -donate clothes that don’t fit well. Choose clothes that fit well and cover problem areas. White House Black Market is a great place to start. They have great sales and great fit and styles for middle age. Their staff is trained to help choose clothes so help is available if you don’t know where to start. You could choose all sale items and look great. Same goes for Soma. -find an exercise you don’t hate. You don’t have to love it. For someone who didn’t work out when younger, regular exercise in your 40s will make you feel better than you did in your 20s and 30s. Once your hit your 50s, you’ll be glad you started. -I wish I had good nutrition advice. All I know is that it’s important and we all have different needs in this area!
  2. Wait. What? I thought money from any job you get would be set aside to give you a safety net. Why would you offer this or even the possibility of this?
  3. Exactly this. My youngest just left for college and my circle is filled with people my age with college-aged kids. Some moms are really struggling. The ones that aren’t are the those that cultivated a live outside their kids. They are great moms—involved and attentive—but they have a solid friend group and regular volunteering or part time/full time job. I maintain its good for our kids, particularly our daughters, to see us having balance in our lives. Balance gets easier to achieve, I believe, as our kids get older. We need to work at it and plan ahead for it. A part time job can do wonders, by the way. I’d start there.
  4. How do you score the food? Points for presentation and taste? I was thinking of bonus points if the dish was homemade. (I think a couple participants might purchase a favorite treat or dish.) In our competitive group, bonus points would encourage homemade items while allowing prepare food also helps everyone participate.
  5. I do love the idea about the food contest. I think I might do this at Christmas. This works for me in two different ways: 1) it’s a fun Christmas game 2) it’s a great way to have a potluck dinner and share food preparation time for me. It also accomplishes one of my goals to get everyone to participate and not just want me plan and execute everything.
  6. We have adult children and aging parents at our Christmas gathering. Most of us purchase items we need and want throughout the year, so no one has a long Christmas list. Any fun or memorable ideas instead of buying Christmas presents for everyone? In the past we've: -drawn names and adults purchase items up for an agreed upon amount for the name drawn. We've done this with wish-lists provided and without. -gone on a vacation over Christmas break and made it clear that the vacation was the present. This is my favorite idea, but we won't be doing it this year. -I had a white elephant-type game where I bought all the gifts which were desirable because they were nice or desirable because they were funny. Gifts were stolen and fought over and it was really fun. I've done this 3x. -Last year I did an "auction" using Monopoly money. If anyone's seen Survivor, it was similar. I had a variety of items, gave everyone the same amount of play money and held the auction. It was a surprise to have the auction and was fun. For the white elephant game and auction, I had: things like a nice blanket, games ( Catan and Code Names), home made fudge, Christmas ornaments, a new cooking gadget, a new book, etc. The most in-demand item is always the certificate I make. One year it gave the certificate winner the ability to be exempt from putting away Christmas decorations. One year it gave the power to require the family to watch of movie of the certificate-holders choice. Any ideas of fun ideas that make memories and involve a gift but don't involve spending lots of time thinking of ideas, purchasing, wrapping and giving stuff that we could just get ourselves? (Disclaimer: none of us are really good with crafts, so while the "every gift has to be homemade" works well for some families, it would flop over here. LOL)
  7. I would discuss this “subtle” approach with an attorney. I’m not sure if this is needed. Maybe even get a second opinion on it.
  8. Heart, you are trying so hard. We can all feel this. You have limited time and energy and you’ve received so much advice here. I would limit your energies to a few areas: 1) get some free legal advice 2) set aside some money in a separate, private bank account 3) get a job 4) continue to take care of your children Please do no spend energy on: 1) justifying with him any decision you make whether it is regarding child rearing or finances or getting a job for anything else. You are an adult and can make these decisions and no discussion is needed. 2) helping dh with any task he is capable of performing himself. This includes getting him coffee or packing or making his lunch or, really, anything else. I highly recommend you get a job. Any job even if the pay isn’t great. You will need the car for this and you don’t need to listen to his objections. He will quickly realize the money isn’t going into a joint account. No need for discussion about this other than, “this is what I’ve decided to do. I’m not discussing it further.” Let him rant and walk away. The dynamic will shift dramatically in your home. You will need to make sure you and your children are safe.
  9. We’d like to do a New England color tour mid October. In what city would you start? Any suggestions are welcome. We have about 7 days.
  10. OP, why the conflict over clothes? You’ve chosen to place your daughter in an environment, this high school, where the clothing standards are different from yours. Even though you’d prefer otherwise, can you find a way to let this go? You’re requiring a standard that’s making your daughter feel awkward in a new environment. First the jeans and now the shorts. Trust me, resentment will build over this, and it isn’t worth it I’d find a way to say “yes”, if you could. There will be much bigger issues where you may need to say “no”. Save the “no” for those times. The shorts in your link are typical teenage shorts.
  11. Does this coop have a board? Many of them do, and you can go over the director’s head and appeal to the coop’s board to refund your registration fee. If not, is there an assistant director? Her reasoning is absurd and unprofessional if there is someone else you can talk to, it would be easier than small claims court This has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with poor business practices and manipulation.
  12. Have you googled abdominal binder? You can get these on amazon. I’m wondering if this could make a difference. Sometimes they will provide this in the hospital.
  13. Hmm. Are you are narcotic pain relievers? If not, something seems off. Your brain should not be this fuzzy. Surgery is exhausting but you seem a step beyond this. I'd give it until noon today, and then call the doctor's office and report your symptoms. Be very clear regarding the level of your fatigue, where you're at on the pain scale, and your mental fog. The weekend is coming and you want to make sure you're headed in the right direction so you're not waiting until Monday's office hours.
  14. You say your head doesn’t feel quite right. Yes, anesthesia takes awhile to get out of few system. But it sounds like you’re not on heavy painkillers so that should make your head clearer. Make sure you’re communicating how you feel dizzy and somewhat off to the nurses and doctor. You’re in the hospital and this is the opportunity to make sure you’re in good shape before they send you home.
  15. I guess I'm puzzled why this thread has so much discussion over library book hold policies. It seems like that would be an interesting spin off thread. Library policies are not what this situation is about at all. This is a boundary issue where relatives have been given a boundary and are violating it to manipulate young children. It's truly appalling. The fact that the OP considers contacting the relatives is also concerning because it feeds the drama and will, most definitely, not solve anything. She is dealing with people who have threatened to contact CPS, if I'm understanding correctly. If so, these people are a danger to her family and she needs to follow the steps Miss Lemon articulated above. If this is a stereotypical small town, giving the story to the librarians at the ONE library in town that the relatives frequent can also fuel the situation as there is a high likelihood the library employees could be on the relatives' side. OP, if you have the ability to move far away from this area, I would do so. In the meantime, protect your family by contacting an attorney and following his/her advice. Please do not contact your estranged family members.
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