Do you call your spouse's blood relatives your nieces/nephews?

[Kathryn]

I never knew that people didn't do this until the past few years. I hear quite a bit of "my husband's nephew" or "my wife's niece," etc. I always refer to DH's sister's sons as my nephews. They all call me Aunt Kathryn.

 

How do these relationships get defined in your family? Did any particular thought go into it?

[jujsky]

If my husband had a sibling and that sibling had kids, they would definitely be nieces and nephews! I only have one brother, and his lovely wife has always been an aunt to my children (even before they were married). Anything else would be just strange. In my family, my favorite, favorite uncle who I hero-worshipped as a child and has been like a dad to me for a long time is not a blood relation -- he's my aunt's (mom's sister's) husband. I'm closer to him than to any of my mom's 3 brothers or my dad's 2 brothers.

 

No, OP, I've never, ever heard of referring to kids as, "my husband's niece or nephew" before. I find it odd. The only way I can see it is if you married into the family and the nieces and nephews were older teens and adults. You wouldn't have been an aunt to them as little children, so maybe you wouldn't be comfortable referring to yourself as their aunt.

[freesia]

I never knew that people didn't do this until the past few years. I hear quite a bit of "my husband's nephew" or "my wife's niece," etc. I always refer to DH's sister's sons as my nephews. They all call me Aunt Kathryn.

 

How do these relationships get defined in your family? Did any particular thought go into it?

My sil doesn't have any kids but I'd call them my niece and nephews. My dh considers my brother's kids his nephews. I've never heard it done any other way.

[Dustybug]

I didn't know people didn't do that! Yes, they all call me Aunt Dusty. :)

[Just Kate]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Definitely! Dh's siblings' kids ARE my nieces and nephews.

[amy g.]

None of my siblings have children, so my husband's nieces and nephews are mine too!

[gardenmom5]

I call my sils children my neices and nephews.

My brother's (ex)-wife's nephew they adopted when he was 12 so he could come to the US (so legally is my brother's son) . . . . I do not consider a nephew.

[regentrude]

When I was a kid, the spouses of my real aunt and uncle were called uncle and aunt, and we were considered their nieces.

 

I consider the children of DH's brother my nieces.

[chepyl]

They are my nieces and nephews. If my sister had kids, and I was trying to tell someone about dh's side of the family, not mine; I might call them my husband's nieces and nephews.

[Carrie12345]

My husband and I have three nieces. (My sister's, my stepbrother's, and his sister's.)

 

If my kids are my sil's nieces and nephews, I can't imagine why her daughter wouldn't be my niece!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Definitely! Dh's siblings' kids ARE my nieces and nephews.

 

:iagree:

[Impish]

Amongst ourselves, they're ours.

 

If I'm talking to others, I clarify, otherwise ppl get really confused.

[happi duck]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

 

:iagree:

 

I've said this just to be clear but they are my neices and nephews too!

[Pawz4me]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

 

:iagree:

[HappyLady]

Amongst ourselves, they're ours.

 

If I'm talking to others, I clarify, otherwise ppl get really confused.

 

 

:iagree: When DH and I got married we each had nieces and nephews. Mine were so young that it was easy for them to refer to my DH as "Uncle X." My DH's nieces and nephews were in their teens so I think they feel weird calling me "Aunt Y." They've never called me Aunt Y, but they have introduced me as their aunt when needed.

[airforcefamily]

All our nieces and nephews are ours. Even the kids of BIL's wife are our nieces and nephews even though they are not related to either of us, by blood or by law. I've never heard of it being my nieces and nephews/my husband's (or wife's) nieces and nephews.

[Caroline]

I sometimes refer to my DH's brother's kids as DH's niece and nephew just to provide clarity. I treat them the same as my sisters' kids.

[Just Jane]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

:iagree:

[K&Rs Mom]

I call them all my niece/nephew - BIL's kids, brother's foster kids, cousin's kids, kids of friends close enough that my kids call them aunt/uncle..... Maybe because my family situation has always been a little ambiguous w/ stepsiblings & all that?

[redsquirrel]

When speaking to people outside the family I will say dh's niece or nephew. That way, people know what side of the family they are on. That said, I don't really think of them as my nieces or nephews. All but one was born well before we got married.

 

DH's family isn't really close. I don't feel like I have much if any relationship with them. I ask the niece and nephew that are now adults to just call me by my first name, no 'aunt' in front of it. That just felt odd. The youngest niece has never actually spoken to me directly, so it is a moot point.

[Paige]

All of our siblings' children are both of our nieces and nephews! I can't imagine any other way. If I needed to clarify, I would phrase it, "Sweetie Pie is my niece on my DH's side of the family.

[Mrs Mungo]

The husbands/wives of my aunts/uncles are my uncles and aunts. My dh's nephews and great-niece are my nephews and great-niece.

[JeneralMom]

Both DH and I say "my spouse's niece or nephew" mostly because when we got married they were already older. My nieces refer to my husband by his first name, and I am fairly sure his niece and nephew refer to me by first name unless they are teasing me for some reason. What they call us or we call them does not reflect on how we feel about them.

 

I honestly don't know how my SIL (DB's wife) refers to my kids, but she and DB had been married for something like 13 years before my kids were born. They call her Auntie. I know the man my aunt is married to refers to my brother and I as his niece and nephew but he is an only child.

[Parrothead]

Honestly I've never thought about it. My sib does not have children. Dh has one sib with two girls. I think we only refer to them as db's kids. We've never met them. BIL was working and his wife refused to bring the kids to the mini-reunion when we were there in September.

[Lucy in Australia]

All our nieces &nephews are ours, too. In fact, even between cousins, we often call each others kids nieces and nephews (however I think that may be something to do with the fact that we have a Russian background and our families are pretty tight)

[LucyStoner]

If my kid is their cousin, then I am their aunt. My husband is my nieces' and nephews' Uncle. I'd wonder what was wrong with him if he called them "my wife's nephews". That is really odd to me.

Edited October 27, 2012 by kijipt

[Desert Rat]

I call them my niece and nephew.

[ereks mom]

Yes, I am "Aunt ___" to dh's siblings' children. I consider them my nieces and nephews.

[misidawnrn]

Yes, my husband's nieces and nephews are my nieces and nephews...even the ones that are as old as me and went to high school with me! :lol:

[sparrow]

All our nieces &nephews are ours, too. In fact, even between cousins, we often call each others kids nieces and nephews (however I think that may be something to do with the fact that we have a Russian background and our families are pretty tight)

 

:iagree: We have part Eastern European/Mutt :001_smile: backgrounds and we have many crossover aunt/uncle/niece/nephew titles among cousins in both my family and my husband's.

[EKS]

My husband's sisters' kids are *our* nephews and niece.

[Kirch]

No, OP, I've never, ever heard of referring to kids as, "my husband's niece or nephew" before. I find it odd. The only way I can see it is if you married into the family and the nieces and nephews were older teens and adults. You wouldn't have been an aunt to them as little children, so maybe you wouldn't be comfortable referring to yourself as their aunt.

 

This is what I was thinking, especially if you're talking about a second marriage situation. Otherwise, it would seem odd to me. We both consider each mother's sibling's kids our nieces and nephews. If a situation needs clarification as to which side of the family we're talking about, we just clarify.

[In the Rain]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

 

:iagree: Sometimes it is relevant to a conversation to clarify which side of the family people are on. I can't think of an example now, but I know it has happened before. Generally speaking, I call them all my nieces and nephews, even though I'm closer to some than others.

 

OP, I know what you're talking about though. I have heard people refer to their spouse's nephews and nieces differently than their own.

[PentecostalMom]

Definitely! Dh's siblings' kids ARE my nieces and nephews.

 

:iagree: I didn't know there was any other way to do it!

[Wendi]

I've always called them my nieces and nephews. And now that my nephew is married, I call his wife my niece, too!

 

Wendi

[Pamela H in Texas]

Could it be related to the perceived closeness of the family? Ages of the people involved?

 

I find it harder to think of a girl who is fairly close to my age as a niece. I also don't think of young adult men I've never met as my nephews. But my 24yo niece or 18yo nephew? sure. But I think my husband may be the same. I have never heard him call my brother's children his niece and nephew. He has seen the one once or twice. The other a few more times (and she came up here with my mom last summer). IF they lived here and we saw them regularly, maybe it'd be different?

 

But *I* would say "my niece, L" or whatever. I would only spell out that it was my husband's sister's kid if I was asked for further clarification.

Edited October 27, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[BibleBeltCatholicMom]

Well, technically they're my nieces and nephews, I guess, but . . . I never see them and rarely speak of them and when I do, I refer to my husband's nieces and nephews. I don't have any brothers or sisters myself so I don't know what my husband would call them.

 

My daughter has never met them but calls them her cousins if they come up in conversation, though they rarely do.

 

I also refer to my husband's siblings as his siblings, and his parents as his parents and his grandparents as his grandparents and I guess it just seems natural to refer to his nieces and nephews as his nieces and nephews.

 

In my extended family, everyone calls everyone aunts, uncles, and cousins, nieces and nephews no matter who is the blood relative.

[catz]

I call them my nieces and nephews and I'm considered "Aunt kck". However, conversationally to someone outside our family, I might say something like "My husband's niece is getting married next month".

[Ghee]

I have no siblings (well, a half sister that is much, much younger and I don't know well...but she is too young to have kids anyway, so moot point), so I don't know what my husband would call them.

 

I was brought up that you called parents "Mom and Dad" grandparents "Grandma and Grandpa" and aunts and uncles "Aunt___ and Uncle___". My husband's family wasn't. They call their parents by their first names, their aunts and uncles by first names. I find it weird and uncomfortable. They also don't encourage respect of your elders (as in SIL has never made her kids be respectful to me), so I do say DH's niece or nephew. My kids do, however, call them Aunt and Uncle and Mamaw and Papaw and such. I feel it's a sign of respect, and while the adults don't necessarily behave well enough to earn respect, they ARE adults and should be treated as such.

 

So, anyway, that's my 2 cents as someone who does say DH's niece or nephew. I was pushed out of the family at every turn, so, yup, they are all his now.

[HSMom2One]

When you marry someone you become a part of their family, their kin. Because of this, all nieces and nephews on both sides are shared by you and your spouse. Although someone may refer to them as his or hers from that side of the family, it's usually to make a distinction for those that want to know you and your family better. That's all.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[swellmomma]

The only time I would call them my husband's neices or nephews would be a step relationship. Otherwise they are mine too!

[Tap]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

 

:iagree:

[Seeking Squirrels]

I'd find it odd *not* to refer to them as such. Growing up there was never any distinction for us kids. Each couple was referred to as aunt x and uncle y with no difference for the blood relative. I can't even imagine not calling my Aunt N my aunt or having her refer to me as her niece.

 

DH considers my brother's son his nephew. SIL does not have kids, but if she ever does, they will absolutely be my niece or nephew! DH also calls my little sister just sister. She was born the year after we got together, so he's been just as much a part of her life as I have from the start. She was 3 when we got married (11 now).

[Shamzanne]

My aunt made me so sad over this once. I was visiting and heard her tell someone that we weren't her neices we were Randy's neices. I also found out that she bought my sister and I much less cool Christmas gifts than her own nieces and nephews.

 

She had been married to my uncle since before I was born so the two of them meant the same to me and I'd never even considered that we weren't blood related. My one and only niece (so far) is still my niece even though I'm no longer married to her blood related uncle.

[NanceXToo]

Of course. They are my nieces/nephews. Likewise, my aunt and uncle have both always referred to me as their niece (not just my aunt's niece)!

[Shmead]

My aunt made me so sad over this once. I was visiting and heard her tell someone that we weren't her neices we were Randy's neices. I also found out that she bought my sister and I much less cool Christmas gifts than her own nieces and nephews.

 

She had been married to my uncle since before I was born so the two of them meant the same to me and I'd never even considered that we weren't blood related. My one and only niece (so far) is still my niece even though I'm no longer married to her blood related uncle.

 

That's a terrible thing to let a child hear, and in terms of things like Christmas gifts, of course one should be equal, but I have to admit: if one of my sibling's kids needed a kidney, my reaction would be very different than if it were one of my husband's siblings' kids. One of my "blood" relations? I wouldn't even think about it: obviously, if my kidney works, take it. One of his? I honestly have no idea. Probably. But I wouldn't have that automatic response.

[Ellie]

The only time I've said something like, "my husband's niece" was really more to explain that the person is our niece on my husband's side of the family. Otherwise, I refer to all as my niece/nephew when speaking of them.

:iagree:

[Lizzie in Ma]

yes

[Meriwether]

They are my nieces and nephews unless I'm wanting to specify which side they are on. For ex. I might say that my nieces and nephews are roughly the same ages as my kids but Dh's nieces and nephews are all older.

 

I love, love, love Dh's nieces and nephews.:001_smile: