I don't know, my husband takes care of all that

[The Girls' Mom]

Sorry to bust up your theory.

 

I got married while still IN high school, and do not have a college degree.

 

I handle all of our finances. My dh wouldn't have a clue how much our utilities are, what our cell phone plan is, or how much we actually have in the bank. He doesn't like keeping up with it, so he leaves it to me. I like it that way.

 

ETA: He DOES know where I keep all that information, should something happen to me. He just enjoys not having to worry with it.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Apryl H

[fairfarmhand]

I married right from my parents house. Meaning I NEVER lived on my own.

 

My husband has pushed me from the very beginning to be aware of important things, and we do the bills together. I think it is a bad idea for EITHER partner to be ignorant of these important things. We have several family members who baby their spouses and the needy, dependent one would be completely sideswiped if anything happened to the other. (these women are stunned that I bought our minivan with very little input from my dh. He never even saw it until after I'd paid for it.) My dh told me early on that he doesn't want that happening to me, so if I don't take care of specific items, I at least know where to get started with it.

[MicheleinMN]

Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

:iagree:

 

I went from home to college to married, but my mom always did all the financial stuff, as did dh's mom. I started paying his/our bills before we were married. He knows with which companies we have policies, but very little about anything more.

[momtotkbb]

:iagree: (bolded) My husband and I married later in life so I had lived on my own for quite a long while before we married. I took care of my own affairs just fine for many years. I would not mind that much doing it now but he really needs to be in control of all of that. It is just his nature. So, I was fine backing off of it and letting him handle it. I know how to find all of the info. He keeps the files very orderly. But I have no desire to hash it out every month with him, nor does he.

 

We currently have enough in savings and make enough that we do not have to be concerned with every little detail, from month to month. Maybe that is part of the difference. If things were tight, I could see where I might have to stay more up to date in the details to make sure I am not over spending in an area inadvertently.

 

This is our situation too. I went from college to being married previously where I had to handle all the finances, decisions, etc. w/out help from my first dh and frustrated beyond belief bec he refused to live within a budget - to a divorced, single mom. When I married my dh he was from the old school of the man needed to care for the woman and he does it very well - he is a number cruncher and owns his own company so he just handles it all. If I chose to pay attention - I know how much is coming in, going out and for what, savings, mutual funds, etc. bec I balance all the accounts each month. DH has everything set up in files so I know where everything is if anything happens to him. I can easily find out info now if I want - I just don't have a need. I handle the house, kids schedules and school, and spending the money - he handles making the money and paying bills---it's a set up that works for us. He jokes that I have the hard job and he wouldn't trade for anything.

 

DH has also taken care of all his parents finances for over 20 years - his dad had gotten to the point of only being interested in bringing in more money/deals and didn't care about the day to day things so dh just took over paying all their bills. It came in handy when his df passed away and he had to do everything for the trusts and now his mom is in assisted living.

[chepyl]

I pay all the bills. I went straight from parent's house to dorm/sorority house, to our first apartment as a married couple. My parents made sure I knew how important it is for both of us to know the finincial info. My mom has always paid their bills. She has counseled and trained many women after the death of their husbands. Women with no job skills and no understanding of their finances. She has always been adamant that her girls be prepared for anything.

[kubiac]

I will cop to being a clueless bride, but I don't fit your theory. We married at 28 and 29. I took care of my own stuff before that. But I hate it all. Taxes make me want to cry, and I get no joy whatsoever from the study of finances, insurance and so forth. Numbers and intangible money is all just a blur to me. I am adequate at the maintenance and upkeep of physical things, because I can have an emotional relationship with them, but numbers are not my friend.

 

My husband loves and lives for all of that stuff, and I don't care about what kind of phone I have or which bank account we're keeping the money in this week (my husband loves opening new savings accounts for the "good" introductory rates). We have no debt and a large emergency fund and my husband is a wonderful steward, so until I am called upon to learn and participate, I happily concede that territory to my husband.

[Mommyof4ks]

I went straight from living at home to getting married, but I can answer all of those questions. Some people just don't want to deal with all of that.

[shanvan]

My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am. I do run the books for our Judo club (and I hate doing it).

 

Yep, same here. I did live at home before getting married and buying a home, but I was responsible for all my own bills. I also had to help my mom deal with the financial mess when my step father walked out on her. I've helped her get her finances in order several times over the years. She is very bad with money. I have also helped several relatives buy cars and negotiate for the best price. I'm really good when its not my own vehicle. I absolutely loath doing it for myself. But, for others I see it like a game. I am confident that if something were to happen to Dh I would be able to handle finances (emotions would be another story). There might be a learning curve as far as dealing with our specific finances.

 

I am actively involved with our financial planning, but not in every little detail of paying every bill. He takes care of that and I am happy to be able to say "My husband handles all of that". I'm quite certain he is happy to say the same about the curriculum choices and homeschooling---though I do bounce ideas off him and get him involved when I need help or a fresh perspective.

 

We have worked out a natural division of labor that works for us. Dh is an accountant, so he's just naturally more interested in keeping finances tidy. I will say he can be a little too tight with money at times and out of touch with reality. There have been times he set an impossible budget (too aggressive with saving). Then he has to be educated on what things cost and the fact that they don't really let you decide how much you want to pay when you get to the register, or sign up for classes, etc. So, it's possible for the person paying the bills to be totally out of touch with reality about some expenses.

 

Also want to say, just b/c a woman makes the statement mentioned doesn't mean she's incapable or an airhead (not that op meant to imply that, but I've been treated that way before.)

[NotSoObvious]

I got married in college at barely 21 years old. I pay all the bills, but only because I'm a control freak. My husband and I are equals when it comes to decisions though.

 

However, he looooves looking at things like our 401ks and I can't stand it because there is not much we can do about quarterly changes and we are so young, it's not like it's going to affect us anytime soon, so I would rather not look at it!

 

 

I actually think it's more concerning when I hear a woman say, "My husband won't let me." I hear that a lot. I think that is weird, although I realize some women just use it as an excuse to get out of things or not have to explain something, which is just fine, I just always read into it as the husband being controlling.

[Nestof3]

I handle it all here for the most part. Dh does all investing. He has been handling the accident insurance -- probably because I wasn't involved in it.

 

I do all banking, balancing checkbooks for personal and business, all monthly and quarterly tax reports and payments for business, prepare everything for the accountant (he filed our corporate tax return), health insurance, etc.

 

I just do a better job of handling it all. I'm a tad OCD and have excellent administrative skills. My mom is the one in my parent's relationship that knows none of it.

Edited July 26, 2012 by nestof3

[kubiac]

Also want to say, just b/c a woman makes the statement mentioned doesn't mean she's incapable or an airhead (not that op meant to imply that, but I've been treated that way before.)

 

Honestly, I might be both of those things :) BUT I believe that it's just a matter of priorities. Right now, I don't have to make these things a priority, because I'm married to a great guy who loves this stuff, whereas I can serve our family doing other tasks on which I prefer to focus my energy. Were his interest or availability to change, I like to think that I have the fundamental ability to take it all on, albeit with some distaste for the job. :)

[Mandy in TN]

Maybe they are just saying that as an easy out because they don't want to discuss these things with the Nosy Nora who asked the question? Perhaps feigning lack of knowledge is easier than telling someone to back off and mind their own business.

 

I have a friend who has a similar size family and home. Occassionally, we have discussed financial information related to utilities, food bills, FAFSA and other college aid. In general, however, when I feel that beginning a discussion will lead to questions that I will not be comfortable answering, I give vague answers or none at all.

 

I try to avoid conversations about money. Saying that my dh handles the bills isn't a lie. He does. They sit in the bill basket. I know where they are and when they are due, but the bills are his. From time to time, I will pay the water bill or whatever, but basically I don't touch the bill basket.

 

FWIW, prior to marrying dh, I was a single, working mom who received next to nothing in child support, no government support, and whose closest relative was over 200 miles away. I obviously paid bills. Over a third of my paycheck went to private school tuition. I am perfectly comfortable letting the bills be my dh's thing.

 

Everyone worried when my grandfather died that my grandmother would have a problem with the bills. Guess what- bills are a very simple task. If the money is there, paying bills is way easier than baking a pie from scratch. My grandmother figured it out at 70yo with no previous experience (she did go from her parent's home to her husband's.) without any trouble.

 

She will be 90yo in Oct. She follows her stocks. She does her taxes quarterly. She has her utilities auto-deducted. She is a smart woman and it wasn't an issue. OTOH, if she had passed first, I don't know that my grandfather could have learned to cook. Heck, I don't even know if my Paw-paw knew how to open the frig. :tongue_smilie:

 

If it is point-blank true that a woman knows nothing about the bills, I don't see it as any of my concern. Also, based on personal experience, I feel like they could figure it out if they had to do so.

 

Mandy

I keep running into women who don't know either financial information or utilities or insurance or anything.

 

Please note I don't ask financial info myself, and wouldn't, but either they are asked by other women I am with OR they offer up the info themselves.

 

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that."

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that."

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill."

 

DH and I talk about all of these things.....down to the last penny almost! AND I know all our companies and policy info. I would hate to think something happening to DH and me not knowing where that info was and how to handle my own affairs.

 

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

[alpidarkomama]

Finances are definitely my husband's department, and I don't know all the details though I do know the basics. And, no, I didn't go right from college to marriage. :) I had years on my own too. We PREFER not to know everything about everything. We can cover a lot more if we have different departments. In an emergency, I know exactly where to find thing so I don't have the need to have it all in my head. :)

[AHASRADA]

Like many other posters, I am the one who knows all the details about bills, insurance, banking, etc. I have never lived "on my own", got married at 18, but I am still more knowledgable/comfortable in this area than dh.

 

It also just never made sense for him to have to deal with bills, etc. in addition to working. He wouldn't have the time to stay on top of the dates, what needs to be paid/renewed when, etc. We are definitely a "he makes the money, I spend it" kind of couple. I know how much money is in the bank, what our bills are, and decide on purchases like clothes, books, etc. based on that.

 

Now that dh is self-employed, we are pretty much equally aware of our financial situation, although he still doesn't usually remember all the bills we need to pay or how much they are exactly. That's just my forte, and one less thing for him to worry about.

[DawnM]

HA! My DH is an accountant too and can be tight (my Texan friend says "His wallet's tighter than a bull's *ss during fly season!" :lol:

 

But I still pay most of the bills and take care of a lot of it. It saves our marriage!

 

Dh is an accountant, so he's just naturally more interested in keeping finances tidy. I will say he can be a little too tight with money at times and out of touch with reality. There have been times he set an impossible budget (too aggressive with saving). Then he has to be educated on what things cost and the fact that they don't really let you decide how much you want to pay when you get to the register, or sign up for classes, etc. So, it's possible for the person paying the bills to be totally out of touch with reality about some expenses.

 

Also want to say, just b/c a woman makes the statement mentioned doesn't mean she's incapable or an airhead (not that op meant to imply that, but I've been treated that way before.)

[Denisemomof4]

After we added a forth kid to our family through adoption, I had to give up a lot. Her extreme needs were too much for me to handle and also d everything I once did.

 

For years I could say what you havr encoubtered with other women.

 

Dh sucks at finances so I have taken that responsibility back. It is EXTREMELY difficult for me now (having suffered four concussions, one life altering) but he and I are BOTH much more comfortable with me handling it. He is actually relieved.

[alpidarkomama]

She will be 90yo in Oct. She follows her stocks. She does her taxes quarterly. She has her utilities auto-deducted. She is a smart woman and it wasn't an issue. OTOH, if she had passed first, I don't know that my grandfather could have learned to cook. Heck, I don't even know if my Paw-paw knew how to open the frig. :tongue_smilie:Mandy

 

:lol:

 

Good point! :)

[freesia]

I keep running into women who don't know either financial information or utilities or insurance or anything.

 

Please note I don't ask financial info myself, and wouldn't, but either they are asked by other women I am with OR they offer up the info themselves.

 

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that."

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that."

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill."

 

DH and I talk about all of these things.....down to the last penny almost! AND I know all our companies and policy info. I would hate to think something happening to DH and me not knowing where that info was and how to handle my own affairs.

 

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

I don't think you are odd but I can give a different theory. I think some of it has to do with "bandwidth." I didn't marry until I was 31 and handled everything on my own until that point and did it well. However, I am not naturally detail oriented and when we started adding littles it made a lot more sense for dh to handle that side of things. Less deadlines were missed. I often feel overwhelmed with the kids and homeschooling and leading a co-op and. . . I don''t have time to keep his jobs in my head, too. He also likes to keep the budget in the computer and split up each receipt according to category. I don't have the time for that.

 

Now, we do discuss all of the policies, budget, etc. He has the info in files and I know where they are in case something happens. But I do not remember the names of all the companies, etc. I just know where to access the info. I do think it's a big mistake not to keep all that info organized in a place where the other spouse can find it easily and quickly.

[Meriwether]

I say things like that. I hate dealing with finances. Dh takes care of all of that. My name is on our bank accounts. I have a credit card in only my name. We have enough cash in the bank to pay for things until I got things sorted. And Dh is completely trustworthy. I'm not in denial. He is the least controlling, sneaky person I know.

[In the Rain]

I believe that it's just a matter of priorities. Right now, I don't have to make these things a priority, because I'm married to a great guy who loves this stuff, whereas I can serve our family doing other tasks on which I prefer to focus my energy. Were his interest or availability to change, I like to think that I have the fundamental ability to take it all on, albeit with some distaste for the job. :)

 

:iagree: except that I know I could take it on. I lived on my own for 12 years before marriage. I am a micromanager though. In some ways it doesn't work well for me to be very involved in these areas that are of interest to him. :tongue_smilie: I'm also just occupied with other issues. If I needed to see to them, I could.

 

Dh trusts me to make sure the kids health and education needs are met, the menus are planned and food is bought. I trust him to choose our cell phone plan and energy carrier. He makes spreadsheets about insurance companies and I make spreadsheets about language arts programs. :lol:

[kricau]

:iagree:Me too LOL When I was in the hospital (for 4 days) having our second dd, he was lost LOL I had to show him how to pay the bills one time incase anything ever happened to me. But I am sure he would be calling my mom to help.

 

Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

[LostSurprise]

I do all the bookkeeping, but if someone needs to call insurance and deal with someone my husband does. We each do what is more natural to our personalities.

 

When we first married he tried to be involved with bills. It drove him crazy! It drove me crazy! Once I started doing it on my own we were both much happier. He asks occasionally, and I tell him when we need to do less spending. In the beginning I tried to do most of the phone calls but I spend so much time preparing and procrastinating that he just took it over.

 

Marriage is finding what works for you.

[ereks mom]

My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am...

 

This is the way it is in our household as well. We are perpetually poor--not because of mismanagement but because of low income. Dh is a minister and we own a small business that only last year finally showed a tiny profit. I used to handle all the finances here at home (dh has an assistant at work and an accountant to do all of the business finances), but it was just too stressful on me to have to decide who to pay and who to put off until more funds were available, all the while knowing that I, as a SAHM, was not contributing financially and there was nothing I could do to improve the situation. So dh took it over some years ago, and it has been that way ever since, even though a couple of years ago, I began earning some money through tutoring.

[Renthead Mommy]

I think a lot of it has to do with the current technology. When the bills came by mail, I'd open them, then toss them in the pile and he entered them into our online checking (except when he was deployed and then I did it all). Now that all the bills come to HIS email, I never know how much they are. I don't have a clue what we paid for out utilities in the last house (we haven't been billed yet for this house).

 

But with everyone having their own email and own cell phone numbers, and that info needs to go to only one account/number, the non bill payer often just doesn't see the bills.

 

However we also live below our means, so I don't budget for groceries or other thing. This month our CC bill is very high due to the move finance screwing up payment for his last TDY. Because of that, and becuase he checks it daily, I happen to know what the bill is this month. Normally I don't. I just know we pay it off every month.

 

I will say while I don't know amounts, I do know how to get into our online accounts, online bills and know our financial manager personally. But if you asked me how much our insurance, utilities or other other bill was, I'd say I don't know, I'd have to ask my husband.

[Mama Geek]

I mostly handle finances and I can't remember details. I have to pull up our financial software to give an answer to a question of how much is your _____ bill. Dh knows where the passwords on and we discuss things in general. I mess with finances maybe twice a month. We have room to breath so we aren't likely to be hurt if we find a mistake and get it fixed.

 

We are both very capable and could handle things on our own if we had too. We both really like having each other around to make big financial decisions though.

[Katy]

I have used the excuse once when I was trying to cancel an auto insurance policy and they wouldn't take no for an answer. My husband found a better deal, I don't know the details, I just want to cancel...

 

But mostly... I'm not a control freak. I don't like to pay bills. And DH tends to spend a little more than I do, so I like him to be in charge of getting that done both so I can avoid the responsibility AND so he is less likely to waste money on things we don't need. The only time he's ever randomly snapped at me was once in a store when I reasoned that we didn't really need something he wanted. When he's planning to spend money in advance and when he's working towards a financial goal, he's much less likely to spend money in a silly manner. Having said all that, he's not good at organization. He'll pay the bill, but then leave it around in a pile on the desk. If I want it put away, I do the filing. I could take over at any moment should something happen to him.

 

For discretionary money - we use the EEBA smartphone app for things like gas, groceries, and blow money for each of us. If it's something outside of those categories, we talk about it first usually, though there have been a few days when we've both apologized for spending $40-100 without talking to the other person about it yet. About once a month DH does a detailed budget for the following month and we work towards financial goals. If we come across an amazing deal - 99 cents/lb for boneless chicken breast or something where we buy up and stock the freezer, we text the other and transfer money from savings. Otherwise we stick to our budget.

 

I didn't come into the marriage with any debt, but DH had a lot. We've been following Dave Ramsey since before we married. It really helps to talk things over and stay on the same page by planning what we spend in advance. Also, by having spending categories - like $$$ in a clothing account, DH doesn't care if I spend that money on one designer handbag or a wardrobe worth of thrift store finds and fabrics to sew things myself. We still get the autonomy of choice without hurting our long term goals.

[mommymilkies]

Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

:iagree:

[Desert Rat]

Here's how it works in our family:

I take care of all important financials/paperwork. We sit down together once a year and he pays bills with me. This way he has an idea of what I pay, when, how. I have a list of all important information, a kind of "if I die, look here" list. He knows where it is. It lists life insurance policy numbers, etc. I also have made a time line. First, you do this, then this.

For us, it isn't necessary for both of us to do the bills, etc. My parents actually take care of our cell phones on a big family plan. I pay them every 6 months. I would be very lost if I had to do that myself and I readily admit that!

Dh and I met when he was 19 and I was 22. We moved his money into my bank account to stop a certain family member who had access to that account, draining it every payday. When we married, we got the joint account. I have always taken care of the money issues. He likes it that way and I'm pretty good at it. So, for him, he would tell his friends, "I don't know, my wife takes care of all of that." LOL

[elegantlion]

This is the way it is in our household as well. We are perpetually poor--not because of mismanagement but because of low income. Dh is a minister and we own a small business that only last year finally showed a tiny profit. I used to handle all the finances here at home (dh has an assistant at work and an accountant to do all of the business finances), but it was just too stressful on me to have to decide who to pay and who to put off until more funds were available, all the while knowing that I, as a SAHM, was not contributing financially and there was nothing I could do to improve the situation. So dh took it over some years ago, and it has been that way ever since, even though a couple of years ago, I began earning some money through tutoring.

 

Except for the ministry, this is us, and dh is no longer self-employed. For my sanity and our marriage I gave everything to dh a few years ago. He has a system now, not that I like his system, but I still have hair so it's all good.

 

I know how to pay the bills and where everything is, it's just better if I don't deal with it at all, except the random can you pay this online today.

 

I have a low tolerance for dealing with customer service, after years of dealing and working in customer service, and our cell phone company won't let me make any changes because he's the primary account holder. Not a problem, fine, whatever.

 

I dealt with it all for over a decade, it's his turn now.

[I.Dup.]

I handle all of the bills and have since dh left for deployment and was gone for 13 months at the beginning of our marriage (that was 10 years ago). Just recently he has started to know more about when bills are paid, etc, because we have both needed to be on board to budget for our anniversary trip. :001_smile: I do worry sometimes that he wouldn't have a clue what to do if I were to die.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh would say "I don't know, my wife takes care of all that." It's just how we've divided things up. I do have a couple of things written down in case I died. Otherwise he will be up a creek without a paddle. He's capable. He's just busy with other things.

 

ETA: He did not go right from home or college into marriage. But I wonder if you would suspect that about a man who doesn't do the finances? It is a bit offensive to me that it would be suspected of a woman who doesn't do the finances.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

Exactly. If I try to talk about these things with dh, his eyes glaze over.

[shanvan]

HA! My DH is an accountant too and can be tight (my Texan friend says "His wallet's tighter than a bull's *ss during fly season!" :lol:

 

But I still pay most of the bills and take care of a lot of it. It saves our marriage!

 

OK, I was trying to be a little nicer about it, but yeah good description! :tongue_smilie:

 

He has suggested once or twice that I take over so I can see 'reality'. His 'reality' is skewed toward aggressive saving, so I don't think it would happen (my seeing it). The fact is, I am less likely to be convinced by his arguments after all these years. We have both a house and a car paid off, among many other things he just knew we could not afford. We almost lost our bid on this house b/c he wanted to save a few thousand dollars. Then there is the time he told me I was going to have to return my brand new car to the dealer--the car he made the decision to buy with me at his side--- (I believed him and spent the entire night imagining the scene. We laugh about it now). That's the car we have had paid off for years. :lol: At any rate, I balance him out and he balances me out nicely. I'm a little more inclined to spend. And we have fun stories to tell!

[Chelli]

I keep running into women who don't know either financial information or utilities or insurance or anything.

 

Please note I don't ask financial info myself, and wouldn't, but either they are asked by other women I am with OR they offer up the info themselves.

 

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that." I would know the answer to this.

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that." I would know the answer to this as well.

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill." This I would say. My husband does pay all of the bills and I have no idea how much they are. I could give you a ballpark number, but to be honest I'm so busy doing everything else that I don't even have time to think about what the water bill is this month. I know my dh has it under control.

 

DH and I talk about all of these things.....down to the last penny almost! AND I know all our companies and policy info. I would hate to think something happening to DH and me not knowing where that info was and how to handle my own affairs.

 

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I lived on my own before I met and married dh. I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

 

Answers are above in red. To be honest, I'm not sure what dh and I would talk about when it comes to the bills. He would say, "Our electric bill is $200." I would say, "Okay." I guess I'm not really sure what there is to discuss unless there is a problem with something or overspending. :confused:

[Renthead Mommy]

To be honest, I'm not sure what dh and I would talk about when it comes to the bills. He would say, "Our electric bill is $200." I would say, "Okay." I guess I'm not really sure what there is to discuss unless there is a problem with something or overspending. :confused:

 

I am not sure what there is to discuss either. Like I said, when the bills came in the mail, I opened them out of curiosity. Now that I don't see them, I don't think about it much. If I ask him, he tells me. But I don't often think to ask. And if I'm asking it is because someone else was asking, or random curiosity based on a conversation with someone else. It isn't much of a discuss beyond "It was this much." And I'd probably also just say "Okay."

[Nestof3]

I have shown my husband where everything is including our Internet password book. My concern is he probably doesn't remember. He would get by, but it wouldn't be an easy transition. He is very happy to turn anything he can over to me. Since I'm better at it, I've noticed it's easy for him to take that approach more and more.

 

Even installing the new dishwasher, there was a time when he would have done it without me. He couldn't figure it out halfway through, starting complaining, I came in and saw he had never consulted the instructions and ended up reading them to him.

[Harriet Vane]

My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs.

 

:iagree:

[ChristusG]

I can proudly say that I am one of those women who say "my husband handles all of that."

 

I hate math, hate running numbers, and don't want the hassle of paying bills, etc. My husband is the accountant, great with investing, running numbers, and all of that jazz. I take care of the house, the kids, the meals, the homeschooling....I happily let him handle all of that other stuff. If something important comes up, we discuss it, but other than that, he really does handle it all. Thankfully!

[butterflymommy]

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

That would be me. I haven't written a check or seen/ paid a bill (unless I accidentally open mail) in... 10, 15 years? I have no idea where our bank accounts are, have only a vague idea what's in them, no clue where the insurance is, policy numbers, nothing. I've asked my husband to write out for me what I should do if god forbid an accident befalls him. He says I should call my dad :smash:. This has been going on so long that at this point it would be very weird for me to start asking for financial information. We never had an agreement it would be this way, it just turned out this way.

 

We do discuss frugality and expenses (mainly home repairs) but I'm never in the know beyond that.

[TravelingChris]

We can both do it and have done it in the past. We have been married 27 years this September and in the beginning and today, I handle finances. For about five years in there, he did. Both of us are very comfortable with numbers and it really has to do with who has the time. I think he took over when I had two very littles (birth and 3 year old) plus a very active 7 year old and did that for about five years. But he works too many hours and many years, including earlier this year, he traveled way too much to be consistent in bill paying. I know he knows the insurance and the cell phone company. He knows he has unlimited data and unlimited texts and unlimited calling to one of the other phones in our plan. I am sure he has no idea about price except maybe he remembers how much our son's dumb phone costs (which our son reimburses). That was because we had a discussion about adding him on to the plan. He was worried about the cost and I pointed out that my son doesn't talk on the phone, just texts, and the cost was very low (12 a month, including all taxes).

 

But in terms of utilities, I, who do pay the bills, can;t tell you the last bill by memory. Why? Because the stupid utility here doesn't do balance billing and it is wildly different every month. It includes our gas, electric and water and sewer and I just know it has ranged by $500 over the year we have lived here.

If the family has several cars, the husband is probably also the fleet manager (scheduling oil changes, tire rotations, etc, location of spare keys)

Mirth added If the family has several cars, the husband is probably also the fleet manager (scheduling oil changes, tire rotations, etc, location of spare keys)

 

I wish, no, I am in charge of that too and it is the one thing I wish he really would take over. I don't mind taking a car in, but since it isn't a regularly scheduled thing, I am lousy at planning this.

 

Oh, and I went from home, to college to marriage as did my dh.

[Desert Rat]

My dh DID go straight from his momma's house to my house. I guess the assumption is right, but doesn't have the negative connotation attached to females. :lol: Isn't he lucky?!

[Ferdie]

My dh pays all the online bills. I pay all the manual bills which are mostly utilities and they yearly bills like prop tax and insurance. I am not sure who our cell phone carrier is.

[justamouse]

I could care less about it. :001_smile: If anything happens to him, I know who to call, and I know where the bills are. We have a yearly budget and we stick to it. That's all about there is to discuss. Unless we argue about investments. Then it's pretty heated.

[justLisa]

I don't handle anything financial. I know who our providers are for all things. DH is very business savvy, and good with money. If I plan to purchase something large I talk to him first. I am grateful he takes care of all that and he is grateful I do everything else.

 

And if someone asks me a financial question I say "I don't know my husband takes care of that" because I don't see why it's anyone's business and I don't feel like saying. Unless it's a simple thing like who provides your cell service. I don't talk money to people. It also gets me out of haggling sales people, and in the case of that one I cue the dumb blonde voice with it. :p

[Dustybug]

It's the opposite here. :P Well, sort of. I keep track of all the bills, how much they are, when they are due, etc. When his paycheck deposits, I hand him a list of what is due and what the cost is...and itemized list of what goes where. He looks it over and determines if adjustments need to be made and then I pay them all.

 

We just purchased a new car this week. When we went to fill out the paperwork, DH had to ask me about all the insurance info, etc.

[Scarlett]

My dh DID go straight from his momma's house to my house. I guess the assumption is right, but doesn't have the negative connotation attached to females. :lol: Isn't he lucky?!

 

I didn't read this thread, but wanted to say that I worked with a girl who whose dh dropped dead at age 37 leaving her with three small children (5,7, 9) She not only did not know where they banked, but she didn't know if he had life insurance. The insurance saleman who sold it to her dh happened to be walking through the dead man's office and heard he had died and called the widow to give her the info (it was not a work related policy) .

 

I can't even wrap my mind around that kind of disconnect about details of my own life. She was widowed for 10 years before she remarried, so I guess she figured it all out...but wow what a time to have it forced upon you.

[DawnM]

$500/mo or $500 per year? Either way that is either very high or very low!

 

 

But in terms of utilities, I, who do pay the bills, can;t tell you the last bill by memory. Why? Because the stupid utility here doesn't do balance billing and it is wildly different every month. It includes our gas, electric and water and sewer and I just know it has ranged by $500 over the year we have lived here.

 

[/color][/color]

[UmMusa]

Yep, that's me:

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that."

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that."

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill."

 

I did live alone for a few years and took care of my bills, but we didn't have cell phone plans (ok, my dad let me use his) and I didn't mess with cable. My bank account was very straight forward as were my bills.

 

DH and I discuss finances and make decisions together, but I have no idea what type of phone plan we have, our cable/internet details, or how much we spend on utilities each month. I'm fine with that. I know the passwords of all the online accounts and can access them. I always say I will create a file with the 'in case of emergency' info so that I know what's going on... until then I'm just being irresponsible!

[marbel]

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

 

Haven't read the replies yet so I'm probably repeating...

 

I lived on my own for 20 years before my husband and I got married. I took care of everything (well, I didn't own a home): bills, insurance, car stuff, etc.

 

Now, we have a pretty set division of labor on who takes care of what, so sometimes I say "I don't know, my husband..." And he says the same of me.

 

However, both of us know the passwords, the bank information, etc. We could get along if something happened to the other.

 

It's not critical to me to know the particulars of the cellphone plan, nor for him to know how to pay the water bill. (If I dropped dead, eventually a new bill would come in the mail! ;) )

 

So, I guess we're a mix.

[greenvneck]

:iagree:

He has NO clue. I try to let him in on it....but he is all :001_huh:

 

He is focused on his business and playing with our kids.....everything else is peripheral to him.....I get to do all the other stuff by default

 

Same here. My husband doesn't even know how much money he makes. Seriously. Or how much our mortgage is. I could go on (and on) but you get the idea!