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butterflymommy

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Everything posted by butterflymommy

  1. I have mixed feelings on this. I've always felt it's a terrible idea to put your kids on TV like the duggars do. Can you imagine what the younger ones especially have gone through, basically growing up on TV? It's like a real life Truman Show. There's no way it couldn't warp their minds to some degree. About the molestation, it's actually unlikely a "real" psychologist would have recommended he leave the home permanently. Unfortunately in cases of sibling abuse the victim is often left in the home with the abuser. And given that he was a minor at the time it's even less likely criminal charges would have been pursued, especially if he stopped the behavior. It does bother me that people wag fingers that he saw a church counselor and not a licensed psychiatrist. Having encountered any number of useless psychiatrists, I know a degree does not a miracle worker make, And the "therapy" he did go through had him out of the house which is more than would have happened had he gone through a more traditional system. Why abusive siblings are left in the home with their victims is beyond me but sadly it happens all the time. There was a high profile kidnapping case a while back where a mom fled to mexico with her young son who was being sexually abused by an older stepbrother who faced no legal consequences and was allowed to stay in the home. But if this ends the show it's a good thing IMO, b/c the children will be able to grow up away from the camera and with some privacy.
  2. I'm not sure this is true. It's quite possible to stay alive and be healthy on a very low carb diet. Some people even eat close to 0 carbs and are fine. The body can burn fat, and even alcohol (spirits are 0 carb), for energy Moocow have you tried eating to your monitor to determine exactly how many carbs you an tolerate in a given time window? For me it's about 20 carbs per 2-3 hours. This means I can eat carbs, just in very small portions (although measuring them out gets tedious so I aim for low carb). Also have you looked into cooking, cooling, and reheating starchy foods to create resistant starches? This works with potatoes, pasta, and rice, although I still get bad readings with reheated rice. http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29629761
  3. We have similar problems with the coach of a (non athletic) extracurricular DD 16 is involved in. He texts her but not us (the parents) even though we requested to be put on the list. Plans are last minute, full disclosure of where/ what/ when/ how much $$ is never made, which sends us scrambling to drive her places and scrape together money. I feel this is inappropriate on his part but I admit to being overprotective and a bit of a control freak with my kids, so I'd have to select both choices of your poll so I can't vote. That being said a youth group of fewer than 10 kids (if I'm understanding your post) seems awful small so you may want to look for a different church.
  4. I think its one of those things, you have to envision, and then know if you can envision it, you can do it, and doing it is as simple as eating less- a lot less. As someone else said, we really need very little food to maintain our bodies- at least "very little" compared to how most of america eats. I love the message board low carb friends- they have lots of other diets there beyond low carb. Some women swear by up day/ down day where you partially fast for one day and then eat whatever you want the next day. This is probably closest to how humans evolved. It's really unnatural to have a constant, plentiful, calorie rich food supply. The body is very efficient at storing extra fat, but it is also very efficient at burning it off when deprived of food. Personally I've lost well with a VLC diet (800 or less a day) ... basically the hcg diet without hcg. I lost the weight quickly, kept it off, and had no ill side effects. However, I didn't do it longer than 6 weeks.
  5. We can barely afford is and have seriously discussed going without and paying the penalty. It's incredibly expensive when you factor in copays, deductible, and coinsurance on top of the premiums. We're not eligible for subsidies and buy on the exchange. Even people who do get the subsidies struggle because they still have to shell out for copays, deductibles etc. The ACA is like trying to solve homelessness by making it law that everyone own a house.
  6. Most of the "scary" stuff is happening in europe, not the US, so in that respect americans don't need to worry. But yes, there are indeed neighborhoods in european cities where gays and "improperly dressed" or "improperly accompanied" women are harassed and bullied or outright attacked. It's a sad state of affairs. The closest americans have come to sharia law is that some courts will recognize the authority of religious courts in civil cases, usually cases involving divorce, domestic violence, women's issue stuff. You see this happen in orthodox (jewish) communities as well where beit din decisions are upheld in civil courts. Unfortunately it's usually women who suffer in these situations. But for your average american it isn't an issue that will affect them. I do feel terrible for gays in the affected areas. Imagine the terror they feel.
  7. They gloss over the Minnesota comparison. Just that despite scoring high on the NAEP "it isn't good enough by international education comparisons." What does he mean by that exactly? What were Minnesota's PISA scores? My understanding is that white and asian americans outscore most of the world on the PISA test. I believe asian americans are only outscored by a handful of other asian countries (which likely cherry pick their students taking the test- china especially). I do love how Fins don't start formal schooling until age 7. The push for ever younger institutionalized learning and standardized testing in the US seems borderline inhumane to me. ETA meant to mention how amazingly well behaved the students in this video are. That's one of the main problem w american schools, the kids can be so rotten, rude and disrespectful. No one can learn in that kind of environment. I also wonder if US emphasis on high school sports inhibits academic performance.
  8. Yes me too, I use the atkins 1972 food list but add more non-starchy veggies and some nuts. It isn't so bad once you get used to it. I faithfully tried the "no white" diet but my body seems to react to whole grains no different than refined grains.
  9. I am prediabetic (perhaps even diabetic type II... waiting on blood tests) probably due to GD. I am BMI 19 so can't really lose much weight from where I am. I don't exercise but I'm active and walk a lot. I've read quite a bit about diets for diabetics and it's really strange how high carb these diets are. I've followed them to a "T" (whole grains, no sugar, lots of produce) and still get very high readings. The only way I've been able to control my blood sugar through diet is with a low carb diet. Even pairing carbs with proteins doesn't help. This has been tough for me as I'm a former vegan and never much liked meat. But if I follow a low to lowish carb diet (~50 grams carbs) with lots of non-starchy veggies my numbers are great. I've read the official diabetic dietary guidelines are so high in carbs because most people simply won't follow them otherwise. HTH
  10. I have pretty strong feelings about this, having been in a relationship where I was the "refused" one before. So I went into marriage knowing I would never say no unless I had a VERY good reason. From my POV if you're in a marriage, and you are your spouse's only sexual release, it's your obligation to make a sincere effort to meet their needs (within reason). Obviously we all have our limits but you have to balance this against the reality that you are all your spouse has, sexually, without breaking serious social and moral boundaries. Feminism seems to say that if you're not 100% in the mood then you're obligated to say no, but within the reality of marriage this isn't a practical attitude. But I'll reiterate-- everything within reason. If your spouse wants to do extreme, painful, or morally questionable things, or if you are ill or have other solid reasons to refuse, then of course you shouldn't feel obligated to go along. But there is a middle ground here that is often ignored. All this goes for both genders, of course.
  11. For some years now NYS had an "obamacare" type model where low and middle income families could buy into state plans on a sliding scale. One year when my husband received a pay increase, we priced out of the low cost options and were charged full rate. The net result was a loss of income-- which is to say we would have had more money had he not taken the pay raise. So this is exactly what many people are going to be faced with in having to choose between higher income or subsidies. I actually told DH not to take the pay raise, but his line of thinking is that income tends to increase exponentially (or at least, that's what used to happen, as someone progressed in their career) and to consciously avoid higher income to garner benefits would be counterproductive in the long run. But very few people think like him, is my impression. The ACA will also disincentivize marriage because of the way household income is calculated to determine premiums and subsidies. It will "pay" if people live together instead of being married. This may not seem like a big deal, but marriage has long been a hallmark of upward mobility and is one of the greatest dividers between rich and poor. And it would be ironic if those who've fought for marriage equality find themselves priced out of marriage and opt just to live together. Not to sound pessimistic, but looking long term, we may be approaching a scenario where it will cost money to have a job. This is already happening in HCOL areas where the only young people who can afford to live there are supported by wealthy parents. If you look at many of the young writers for publications like the NYtimes or Vanity Fair, most come from wealthy families and can "afford" to take a job that only pays 40k a year while their lifestyle in an expensive city is subsidized otherwise.
  12. The study projects that people will be careful not to earn too much so as to keep their subsidies. Some of the loss will also come from fewer full time positions being offered (since employers are not obligated to provide insurance for part time workers). I have difficulty seeing healthcare being tied to income as any kind of "freedom." While true, the coverage is no longer tied to an employer, it is tied to income which will disincentive upward mobility, and hit those who are upwardly mobile with heavier costs (as has already happened-- the solidly middle class and UMC have been hit hard with increased premiums, co pays, deductibles, shrinking pool of in network providers, etc.). A truly fair and freeing system would provide low cost coverage to everyone, like the universal systems in canada and britain.
  13. I'm not catholic but I have never used BC, for my own religious reasons. I don't know if this will be a comfort for you but at age 36 your fertility will likely go into steep decline soon. I was ultra-fertile until age 38 and have since only had miscarriages or just not gotten pregnant at all. Statistics support this so it's not purely anecdotal. It's possible this will be your last baby, whether you want him or her to be or not. Very few women regret their babies once they arrive. There was a study done of women who wanted abortions but either couldn't afford them or were turned away from abortion clinics for medical reasons. Only something like 2% regretted having their children, and strangely, at a follow up years later, a number of women denied ever having wanted an abortion in the first place, it was like their minds simply blocked it out. Again I don't know if any of this is a comfort, but, I think the path our lives take is simply something we have to accept more often than not. We're not as in control as we like to think.
  14. Yes, I've experienced almost exactly what you describe. Faithfully following 1200-1400 with some moderate exercise, and I actually gained a bit. The only way I was able to lose the last 15 lb of baby weight was to restrict to 800/ day. I ate three meals, 200/ 200/ 400, lean protein, greens, and raw fruit. I didn't drop dead and in fact I felt great. As soon as I got to my goal weight I went back to 1200-1400 and right now I experimenting with maintaining eating up to 1500 a day. So far I've kept it off very easily. I also didn't exercise at all, except for the occasional walk. Our bodies are designed to withstand periods of food scarcity. I'm now convinced "going below 1200 will kill you or give you an eating disorder" is BS. I look great, I feel great. I weigh what I did when I got married 17 years ago, and the whole time I ate very healthy and still am doing so. The hunger wasn't that bad after the 3rd day or so. I lost on average 1/2 lb a day with a long stall when I finally dropped the last few pounds. Interestingly, this is what people describe on the hcg diet though I didn't take any supplements or follow the hcg food choices (but that diet is about the same calorie level, maybe a little less?). Take that for what it's worth... this is the best I've felt in a decade.
  15. The gov and his GF have been together for some time, if that's what is in question. They were in the apartment for a while and then traveling for an indefinite amount of time. It was at that point they slept together for the first time. So in theory the only "too fast" relationship at this point is tara's. But we've all probably heard the joke about the u-haul and the cats.
  16. The Mel Gibson one has a weird kissing scene between his mother and him. Other than that I remember it being fairly tame and well done.
  17. I got the sense that a fair bit of time had passed between their joining the new camp and yesterday's episode. Note how the guy already had nicknames for the governor, how they were all set up in the mobile home, and tara and her GF were clearly a number. What I didn't understand was why he killed martinez only to then LEAVE the camp. Shouldn't it have been in the reverse order? Decide to leave due to ineffective leadership-- change your mind-- return and kill the leader to take over. I'm enjoying seeing the governor humanized a little with his new family. It adds pathos to the plot.
  18. I'm OCD when it comes to food safety and I'd definitely eat it. Yogurt is one food that takes a while to spoil. I've accidentally left months expired yogurt in the fridge and it still looked and smelled perfectly fine when I opened it (though I didn't eat it). In mongolia they drink fermented milk which I'm pretty sure is yogurt cultured at room temperature.
  19. The disadvantaged children are going to be impacted the most, and that is what bothers me. One line of thinking is that the schools will "sacrifice" the current upper grade students, but children starting with these methods in kindy today will be up to speed by the time they're in middle school, which is where algebra and geometry concepts will be spread out to allow more advanced math in high school. I'm not sure how realistic this is because of the math teachers I've spoken to, and some blogs of math teachers I've read, they feel that outside the top 30% of students, many children just are not mentally prepared in terms of brain development for these concepts until they're teenagers. WTM readers and posters tend to have children in that 30% (or at least the vocal ones do) so this might be difficult for us to grasp, how much time some kids need for basic concepts like proportion.
  20. I haven't been on the forum for a while since all but my youngest (even my lifelong homeschooler teenager) are now in school. But it's the common core stuff that has brought me back :). My children are in Catholic School but this school is on board with CC (and all CS children still need to take the state ELA and math tests). Boy do I wish I'd done my homework because I may have looked for a different CS. I really thought CC sounded like a good thing. Who could argue with higher standards? I can't speak for other states but it's been handled very poorly in NYS. My 2nd & 6th grader don't even have a math textbook because "it's still being developed." The teacher is having to teach off of notes on the state website, and the notes the kids take from that become their textbook. Too bad for the kids who aren't good at taking notes. The math looks suspiciously like fuzzy/ constructivist math to me. It isn't purely fuzzy math but there is definitely some in there. They've also thrown in some Singapore type approaches (or at least it looks like that to me) but without the streamlined, logical, elegant overall approach of Singapore. Many of the teachers are clearly frustrated with what they're being asked to do. As you mention, much of the material seems random, illogical, even useless, and there is a lot of sloppy question writing on testing & classroom materials. The programs are overly regimented (again, at least in NYS). One veteran teacher of 38 years (!!) is being asked to teach from a script. And my kids are being tested to death. When it's not a real test, it's a practice test (as if a very young child can tell the difference). Many of the daily worksheets for homework look like mini-tests. Thankfully, my kids enjoy tests (one gets anxious but still does well) and tend to do very well on standardized tests, even if they're not a great student in the classroom. But I feel really bad for kids who might be bright but just don't happen to test well on standardized tests. As far as whether CC really has higher standards-- it seems a bit haphazard to me. Some things seem sadly dumbed down while other things are hopeless abstract and complex. This is not a classical education approach, to be sure. The only good thing I can say about this so far is that my kids have read some good literature from the suggested reading list, but I don't like the way they're being asked to work through or analyze the texts-- again, it's definitely not a classical approach to literature. So to answer your question, do I need a different attitude-- personally I hope all this is repealed because the implementation of it has been so unfair to the teachers and students. I knew school wouldn't be perfect but this has been a huge disappointment to me. I'm very concerned about their math (since it does look like fuzzy, or at least semi-fuzzy math) so I'm supplementing with singapore with my younger ones, but my older ones have too much homework for me to add more on top. Yesterday at parent teacher conferences the middle school math teacher was clearly unhappy with CC and said that it expects too much while providing too little. If your child is naturally smart, they will probably be ok. But the average students, and especially the struggling students, are going to be totally disenfranchised by this. Those were her words, not mine, though I'm prone to agree given what I've seen so far.
  21. I know the issue of weight loss is a popular one around here & I wanted to share my experience on a VLCD. These were technically vanity lbs that I lost, but those are harder to lose than "overweight" pounds so I would imagine someone heavier would have even more success. Over the past three years I had 4 m/c and one full term birth all back to back on top of each other. Between all the pregnancies, plus BFing 18 months (a couple of the m/c were during that) I was the heaviest I'd ever been in my life, which was still within normal weight but I'm very small boned and small chested ( :001_rolleyes: ) and wanted to get to my pre-pregnancy weight of 130 (I'm 5'8") which meant 25 lb to lose. The first 10 lb came off over the time I BF though I gained some back over the m/cs. Those last 15+ish did not want to come off for anything. I counted calories (1200-1500), did low carb (I dislike meat so was unhappy, but stuck with it as long as I could stand), exercised walking miles a day. I'd lose 5 lb then immediately gain it all back. I also had a large lipoma that was itchy and uncomfortable. I'd read in Dr. Fuhrman's book on fasting, that fasting could shrink lipomas significantly. There was no way I could do a full fast so decided to try a partial fast of 600 cal/ day for a week, and if I felt ill, or weak, I would go back to normal. Coincidentally this is around the same calorie level as the hcg diet (though I wasn't taking any kind of supplement). Well not only did I not feel ill, within a couple days of eating at this level I felt fantastic, and the hunger abated or at least was tolerable. I have suffered from crushing fatigue for years & I suddenly had more energy, and felt more alive, than I have in more than a decade. I lost about .66 lbs a day and stalled after the first 10 lbs (week 3). However I stuck with the VLCD/ "fast" since I continued to feel so good. I did have some weakness toward the end of week 3 but after the plateau ended and I started losing again I continued to feel very energetic. (Interestingly I've read hcg dieters describe similar patterns.) I've lost 15 lbs over 5 weeks, on average eating 800 calories a day. Some days I ate slightly more or less but that was my average. The only ill health effects I had were: insomnia the first two weeks, a few leg cramps (I started taking potassium), and brief constipation (I started taking yellow dock). The energy couldn't be from weight loss because I wasn't overweight to begin with, and I felt the energy before I had any real weight loss. I truly feel better now than I have in 11 years (when I began to have devastating fatigue). I don't have a medical answer for why this is. I do still have fatigue but it's only a fraction of what it once was. I'm also feeling better on less sleep, which is amazing for me (I basically had to sleep all the time to function, before). As far as what I ate: I tried to stick to Dr. Fuhrman's ("Eat to Live") rule of 1 lb greens a day(=70-100 cal), either raw or cooked. If I cooked the greens I just steamed or boiled them, I didn't use oil or dressing. I ate at least 2 servings of raw fruit a day (=200 cal). For the remaining 400-500 cal I ate whatever as long as it wasn't a dessert, though I always aimed for healthy, and I did force myself to eat animal protein more regularly (at least once every three days), since I believe this is the most efficient protein source, in terms of calories. I really hope this helps someone out there who is struggling with weight or fatigue. Now that I'm at my goal weight I'm going to slowly increase back to normal. I don't know if the fatigue will come back; I fear the return of the fatigue far more than the return of the weight. I really feel like I've been duped by all the "normal" diet plans out there that tell you your body will fall apart if you go under 1200 cal a day. If you think about it, the fat on our bodies IS food to the tune of 3500 cal per lb. This is enough to survive off nicely for a couple days. My lipoma did shrink by about 50% but because it was so large to begin with, it's still quite noticeable. My total loss over five weeks was: 15 lb, I also lost: 3" on waist, 1" on hips, 2" on thigh circumference, 2-3" on ribcage (though some of that may have been lipoma shrinking). And I didn't exercise other than walking for 30 minutes a few times a week. If you have any questions please PM me! I wish you all the best.
  22. We have 2 with severe asthma and usually just they get the flu shot. However, my husband gets it too since he's around a lot of people at work and doesn't want to bring it home. FWIW I've never really noticed a difference between the vaxed kids not getting sick and the unvaxed family members getting sick. It seems completely random, which of us get sick and which don't.
  23. Oh there was more and Ms. Jeantel stated it plainly. According to her testimony she and martin discussed the possibility that the man following him was a pervert (i.e. gay) and maybe a (gay) rapist. These are her own words. Remember she insisted creepy ass cracker wasn't racial-- it meant "pervert" (gay). Moments later zimmerman's nose was broken. I don't think this is a coincidence. In my view this was a gay bashing-- just zimmerman wasn't actually gay. The sad thing is the police arrived so soon after the shooting-- if they had gotten there even sooner or if martin hadn't seen zimmerman's gun and reached for it (unless, of course, you think zimmerman is lying, I know many people do believe that)-- a death could have been avoided and maybe the worst that would take place was an assault charge against martin.
  24. Yes they are "running around" with open wounds, and yes they have gotten severe staph infections and three of them have been hospitalized for them. I don't know if you saw the pictures I posted in the thread about my daughter but it is very, very severe.
  25. I would want to know, especially for younger kids. Some of my kids have severe eczema to the point that their skin is basically open, like with severe burns. I would just take precautions like making sure the open skin was covered. For older kids who can be aware of bodily fluid issues, it wouldn't be such a concern.
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