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I don't know, my husband takes care of all that


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I keep running into women who don't know either financial information or utilities or insurance or anything.

 

Please note I don't ask financial info myself, and wouldn't, but either they are asked by other women I am with OR they offer up the info themselves.

 

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that."

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that."

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill."

 

DH and I talk about all of these things.....down to the last penny almost! AND I know all our companies and policy info. I would hate to think something happening to DH and me not knowing where that info was and how to handle my own affairs.

 

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

Edited by DawnM
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Here, it's the opposite, except for insurance (I don't drive, so don't pay any attention beyond making sure the payments are covered).

 

I do all the banking, take care of any services, so chances are, Wolf wouldn't know info :lol:

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I take care of all that in our house. DH has a rough idea, but only asks if something comes up. He's bad a remembering details though. I haven't lived on my own, only with parents or dh. I have used that excuse for pushy salesmen though, "Sorry, dh takes care of all that stuff." LOL

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My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am. I do run the books for our Judo club (and I hate doing it).

 

ETA: By "our Judo club", I meant the Judo club the boys & I attend, not our family's Judo club. If it was our family's Judo club, dh would be doing the books :D.

Edited by JudoMom
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I have to be honest, I play the "you'll have to talk to my husband" card a lot when I get those annoying calls about "You should bundle your phone plan with your internet" or whatever. It's not that I don't KNOW-it's that saying "You'll have to talk to my husband" seems like a more polite brush-off. So if you were in my house and heard me take one of those calls, you'd probably assume I don't know anything.

 

Having said that, I did go from living with parents, to living in a dorm, to being married and living with a husband, so I've never had to handle paying bills and the like 100% myself. and he's financially picky enough that even if I do it, he wants to know and inspect every detail (given that he programs cash registers and accounting software for a living, that kind of makes sense), but we've always made sure that I know everything that's going on so that I COULD pick up if needed.

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In our house I take care of all of the banking and the bills. Everything is talked about here. We go over a monthly budget each month before we head into it. I insisted on doing it because I moved straight from my parents to him and I didn't want to no be able to handle myself if something were to happen to him.

Edited by Dory
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I should add that it could be that I am a complete control freak and need to know everything about everything in our household :lol: I have been called that before by DH! :tongue_smilie:

 

I do pay all the bills and I check our CC online statement at least once a week to check for fraudulent charges and/or what we owe/have paid, etc....I also do the same with our banking accounts, just to make sure there aren't any weird charges. It is a bit of an obsession maybe, but I feel better checking it periodically.

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Dh and I have a budget meeting each week. We discuss bills, meal planning, savings..the only thing we don't do weekly is the retirement account. We each have immediate access to The Folder (wills, legal docs, retirement account info) and our insurance plans. We know.

 

Honestly, our relationship is MUCH better now that we're both involved in the finances! I got tired of being poor and half drug him onto the the Dave Ramsey ship about 4 years ago. Since then, though, it's been nice to be able to plan and discuss together. There's a lot less worrying since we got on the same page and made finances a priority topic.

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I take care of all the bills so I know all the companies we deal with. DH used to take care of it all (we live in the house we had before we married) but I took over since it was easier for me to find the time to do it. There's probably some information he wouldn't be able to come up with right of the top of his head but he knows where the check-book is kept, knows the account numbers to sign into the bank account, as well as where I keep the passwords for all the accounts.

 

I was married before and lived on my own for a few years between. Dh was living on his own for 20+ years. We are both definitely used to having to deal with household issues.

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I doubt my husband has a clue how much our utility bills are. The only reason he knows about the cell phone bill is that we just discussed it when evaluating switching carriers. He might know who carries our car insurance, because he has the card in his wallet, but I doubt he knows what the payments are or when they are due. I know for sure he doesn't know the balance on his credit card (but I do).

 

On the other hand, I couldn't tell you off the top of my head how much our car payments are each month. I don't know how much we have in savings. I can't remember how much he makes per year (although I do know what his net paychecks are). When I needed to take our son to the doctor a month or so ago, I had to e-mail him at work to ask how to look up the provider we had selected.

 

We each have our own bailiwicks. Nothing is a secret, but we just don't discuss it all very much.

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WOW! You discuss meal planning? I don't think I could get DH to even bother. He will occasionally say, "Hey, could you make XXX dish this week? We haven't had that in a while." But I doubt he would even want to talk about it for a full week.

 

We didn't do DR, but we did Crown and we have taught it several times. So, we have a set budget/category list and try to stick to that. We even have blow money. His goes to golfing! Mine goes to hanging out with friends.

 

Dawn

 

Dh and I have a budget meeting each week. We discuss bills, meal planning, savings..the only thing we don't do weekly is the retirement account. We each have immediate access to The Folder (wills, legal docs, retirement account info) and our insurance plans. We know.

 

Honestly, our relationship is MUCH better now that we're both involved in the finances! I got tired of being poor and half drug him onto the the Dave Ramsey ship about 4 years ago. Since then, though, it's been nice to be able to plan and discuss together. There's a lot less worrying since we got on the same page and made finances a priority topic.

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My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am. I do run the books for our Judo club (and I hate doing it).

 

Same here (except for the Judo club :001_smile:)

 

My DH simply wants to be involved in the finances to a level that makes my involvement redundant. He also sometimes switches car insurance, etc. without asking. All of the info I need is readily available should something necessitate my taking things over.

 

FWIW, I lived alone longer than DH did before we were married.

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I say things similar to that even though I do know. Now, I'm not talking about down to the last penny or anything like that. My DH does generally take care of the bills, etc. I do know who our providers are and have a general sense of how much we spend each month.

 

I have no problem with taking care of my own finances. I went from home, to a college dorm, to an apartment, to married. So I do have experience doing it on my own. It's just that my DH does things with our finances that I never would have considered. He is very good at optimizing rewards and rebates, interest rates, etc. to work in our favor. I used to have more of a hand in the finances, but seeing him take over was the best decision I have made.

 

So, yes, I do occasionally say things like that more as a way to "politely" end the conversation. And also, because I do like for my DH to have the final say because he does manage it so well.

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I don't know off the top of my head who our insurance carrier is because my husband does take care of that, along with the cell phone service and tv. However, I do know where to get the information should I need it. I know how much the bill is. I balance our budget and pay all the other bills.

 

I went from my parents house to my marraige. In the beginning I handled all the bills so that I could be in control. I remember when my grandfather died my grandmother didn't know how to do anything or where any of the paperwork was because my grandfather took care of everything and had told her he would always take care of her. I would say I let go of the control of the cell phone, television, etc. because my life is more pleasant without thinking about it. But, like I said earlier-if I need to know I can access the information.

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WOW! You discuss meal planning? I don't think I could get DH to even bother. He will occasionally say, "Hey, could you make XXX dish this week? We haven't had that in a while." But I doubt he would even want to talk about it for a full week.

 

We didn't do DR, but we did Crown and we have taught it several times. So, we have a set budget/category list and try to stick to that. We even have blow money. His goes to golfing! Mine goes to hanging out with friends.

 

Dawn

 

:blush: Dh is the main cook in our house. I get Mondays & Wednesdays, when he has practice in the evening, but we still sit down together and decide what we're going to make that week. If I end up having to do the grocery shopping it's nice to have the meals listed by days and which ingredients we need to purchase for each one. Groceries can be twice as expensive over here and the waste has to go in a special bin that's about a cubic foot. We can't afford the room for groceries to spoil and have to get tossed.

 

I'm usually the one who keeps day to day tabs on the family budget categories so the weekly meeting is to go over what we still have until payday and adjust as necessary.

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IThen I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

 

No, you aren't odd; you just do things the way they work best for your family. Some of us were working singles for many years, but when we married we divided up the workload by who did it best or minded it least.

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I have to admit that I am one of those "my husband takes care of that" women at the present time. However, I definitely don't fit your stereotype. I have two Bachelor's degrees (both in business, one being Accounting) and an M.B.A. I also worked as an Accounting Supervisor for a large corporation for several years before I had my first chid. I also kept the books for a family member's physician practice for several years. For the first 10 years of our marriage, I handled all of our finances. I was incredibly anal about it. ;)

 

However, once my husband started his own business, it got harder for me to manage our money. DH has it in multiple accounts in several different banks. It got harder to keep track of (when he was putting more money in, when it needed to be transferred from one account to another, etc.). Also, most of our accounts are on automatic pay now. DH gets the email of the charges and I never even see them anymore. So, little by little, I stopped paying attention to those things. DH is extremely organized (he is an accountant too :001_smile:), so I know where to find all of the information if I wanted to, but I just don't have any need to do that anymore. ;) I took care of the finances for the first 10 years of our marriage, now it is his turn. :thumbup: If we get an unusual bill (like the $500 electric bill that we got last December due to our Christmas lights), he might mention it to me, but otherwise I am blissfully unaware. :tongue_smilie: We talk periodically about investment goals, paying off our house, etc., but we don't have the need to budget anymore, so our finances are pretty much on auto-pilot now.

Edited by edelweiss
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:lol:

I'm one of those women.

 

I managed all of that kind of thing for years, single, married to husband number one, widowed with children, married to husband number two, and divorced with more children. I've been married to number three husband for nearly ten years and I've come to find out that I can rely on him to manage our joint financial things at least as well as I would on my own, and I've also found that he rather enjoys that kind of thing. So, I let him have at it. I have plenty of other things to concern myself about, I don't need to micromanage our cell phone plan or our car insurance.

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My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am. I do run the books for our Judo club (and I hate doing it).

 

 

This is exactly my dh and me, too. Well, except for the Judo club. :D

 

If you asked my dh what math curriculum the boys are using, he wouldn't know. If you ask me what day our phone bill gets paid, I don't know. But we both know how to find that info out very easily.

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I pay the bills at our office, my husband pays them at home. We have always lived on commissions (or tips in the early days:D) and he just pays the bills as the money comes in. Wish we could live on a budget but so far, no go. The office is different and I can pay them the second they come in and my heart is happy. :001_smile: Certainly not a man/woman thing, that would not be cool.

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I pay the bills, but DH takes care of all the investment stuff. Like one of the PP's husbands, he has an MBA with a concentration in finance and he's also a Certified Financial Analyst. I know where to find the information but it's not something I keep track of.

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I just thought of something else...

 

I've used the 'I don't know, my husband takes care of all that' more than once with salespeople. Like when the tire place is trying to sell me a new tire, when all I wanted was them to put more air in it. :tongue_smilie:

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My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am.

 

:iagree:

 

I lived on my own for many years before marrying dh. I happily let him take care of this stuff because I hate doing it. If something were to happen to him, I know where to find everything that I would need. There are other things in our marriage that he lets me handle and would probably have similar answers if asked about those things.

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Dh takes care of everything because before we were married, I didn't have a good track record of dealing with my own finances. 14 years later, I'm glad to say I'm a little more responsible :tongue_smilie: He does the bills and budgeting, and once in a while we go through the home and business bank accounts. I don't know all the details, but I do care of our health insurance savings account and bills and when he is really busy, I write the checks for the bills so I have some idea what things cost. In our house, it's just a division of labor based on individual strengths.

 

Poor dh, he handles all the finances for the business too--his business partner calls himself dh's "other wife."

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I'm the budget women here as well. We go over things together and make any financial decisions together, I make sure things are taken care of though. Dh doesn't remember details though, he knows where our accounts are and insurance but doesn't remember balances as closely as I do, nor does he probably know due dates off the top of his head, although we only have a few bills and they are generally autowithdrawal. I really enjoy taking care of the finances though and he really doesn't. We make a plan together though.

 

And LOL on meal planning, he always says he doesn't care and I cook 99.9% of the time. Sometimes I'll give him a couple of options and let him pick but if I leave it open he gives no input. He would be lost more on grocery shopping then anything else, the kids would eat much different if I wasn't here. I enjoy keeping track of all that as well, where to buy what and how much and what recipes I use and most of that I just keep in my head, which drives him nuts.

Edited by soror
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Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

Me too! I take care of most everything financial in our house and I SOOOO wish I didn't have to (sometimes). It would be nice to be "taken care of" (or at least, in my dreams it would be). I am too much of a control freak to actually let that happen though.

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For many, many financial matters my husband's answer would be, "I don't know, my wife takes care of all that."

 

Some couples just divide things up differently. It's not really a sign of anything, I don't think. He was on his own before we married, but I went straight from my parent's home to my married home.

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Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

This is us too. I TRY to get him involved and he does know the companies we're with for the most part, but if something were to happen to me, he'd need a bit of time to figure it all out as he's mainly not terribly interested. He has his side of helping the family and he leaves that to me. I have a written out list of most of it and he knows where that is if he needs it.

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I guess I don't see taking care of yard work on the same par as knowing about finances. If your DH dies, you can hire that stuff out or move to a condo, but if your DH dies and you know nothing about finances or how to handle things (not saying you personally don't) you can't hire out to pay your bills and handle your bank account.

 

I know how to sew. Dh doesn't......but he doesn't HAVE to need to sew on a machine to survive.

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It may be true that many women (and many men) don't know these details, but I also think it is not very difficult to learn once the need arises. I mean, do you think the spouse who doesn't do the grocery shopping generally knows how much a gallon of milk costs, and how much the price difference between beef and chicken is? Does everyone in the house know exactly how many loads of laundry are done, which soaps are used, and in which order they are processed?

 

I have always been single, but share a house, and some of the bill payments are another person's responsibility (business owner, tax deductions etc.). I have no fear that my life would implode if she should suddenly be unable to pay the bills herself. It's not that hard to figure out. Yes, it would be inconvenient (since she pays the bills online and I might not be able to find the payment history easily), but I'd figure it out.

 

Just last week, someone from at&t came to my door asking to compare cable plans with what we've got. I only use the internet connection, so I am not interested in what else the plan covers and I don't know how much it costs. If I were alone, I would have a different plan that reflects only my own needs. Anyhoo, I told her that the person who would be able to compare was not home, and she should leave some literature. She said she does not carry literature, and can only discuss orally. Oh, well! Too bad.

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Yes, as long as you do know where everything is and how to find the information, that is key.

 

I honestly don't know if my mom knows all of it, or would be able to figure it out, even thought my dad has a file for her with specifics. My guess is that she would call ME to fly out to her and go over all of it. :glare: I just don't get it as I am not bent that way at all.

 

It may be true that many women (and many men) don't know these details, but I also think it is not very difficult to learn once the need arises. I mean, do you think the spouse who doesn't do the grocery shopping generally knows how much a gallon of milk costs, and how much the price difference between beef and chicken is? Does everyone in the house know exactly how many loads of laundry are done, which soaps are used, and in which order they are processed?

 

I have always been single, but share a house, and some of the bill payments are another person's responsibility (business owner, tax deductions etc.). I have no fear that my life would implode if she should suddenly be unable to pay the bills herself. It's not that hard to figure out. Yes, it would be inconvenient (since she pays the bills online and I might not be able to find the payment history easily), but I'd figure it out.

 

Just last week, someone from at&t came to my door asking to compare cable plans with what we've got. I only use the internet connection, so I am not interested in what else the plan covers and I don't know how much it costs. If I were alone, I would have a different plan that reflects only my own needs. Anyhoo, I told her that the person who would be able to compare was not home, and she should leave some literature. She said she does not carry literature, and can only discuss orally. Oh, well! Too bad.

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Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.

 

:iagree:

He has NO clue. I try to let him in on it....but he is all :001_huh:

 

He is focused on his business and playing with our kids.....everything else is peripheral to him.....I get to do all the other stuff by default

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I think both spouses should have general knowledge of finances, ie what accounts there are, insurance policies and bills, at least where that information is kept and basic/general budget info. Things that would be necessary to take over if the other spouse passed away. I think it is good and prudent to at least occasionally go over that info together, especially as things change. I wouldn't want that to be an added stress to either of us in case something happened.

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When my dh's uncle died, his wife did not drive (he wouldn't let her get licenses...:glare:), did not even know if they had any insurance, did know where her husband banked, did not have her name on the house, the car, the checking account, the savings account, nothing. Uncle was a control freak, not physically abusive but I think he was a definite mental abuser, and she was a mouse.

 

Dh's dad had to break into the safe and dig out all the documents so he could find this stuff out. Of course, there were legal ramifications because they didn't live in a community property state. So getting her name put on everything and getting access to the money was a nightmare. She would have starved if it hadn't been for dh's family. Thankfully, she had really, really great kids - grown adults who did the best they could by her. Technically, since there was no will, once it went to through probate, they could have thrown her out of the house, taken the money that was left, etc. in non-community property states, without trusts or wills, the descendents are the legal heirs not the wife although in some states it's a blend...2/3 to the kids, 1/3 to the spouse and vice versa.

 

It is very, very important for both spouses to have full financial disclosure and even if you just pay $75.00 to legalzoom and do an online will then have it properly witnessed and notorized, that's better than waiting until that day you can afford $800.00 to have the lawyer do it for you. Most probate courts will recognize a home made will if the legalize is reasonably accurate so long as it is properly witnessed and filed. They will take "intent' into account if that intent has been clearly written.

 

Of course, Michigan just changed it's laws so that wills, no matter how little the assests are, must go through probate and the court gets a nice tidy sum of money NO MATTER WHAT. The ONLY way around this is a specific type of trust which costs around $1200.00 to have created. :glare: We just went through this with our own finances and with MIL's. GRRRRR.... $2400.00 down the tubes to keep the state from seizing a LOT of money from our life insurance policies and away from the kids.

 

Anyway, that's my word of caution. Both sides really need to be in the know and single parents need to get a trusted relative or friend on board as executors of their wills or contract with a lawyer to administer a trust. Financial ignorance is very, very costly when an unexpected death or incapacitation occurs.

 

Faith

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Yes, as long as you do know where everything is and how to find the information, that is key.

 

I honestly don't know if my mom knows all of it, or would be able to figure it out, even thought my dad has a file for her with specifics. My guess is that she would call ME to fly out to her and go over all of it. :glare: I just don't get it as I am not bent that way at all.

 

My 68-year-old mother is very financially astute despite not ever having been the main breadwinner. She watches some financial news show every morning, LOL, and often advises me regarding my retirement savings (though I don't listen). My dad is capable but in the "I don't want to know" mode, because bills make him nervous. (My mom is fine with that.) If I worry about anyone, it's my dad. He's probably the one who would ask me to come and help figure stuff out. (But, he's dyslexic, so that makes it more understandable.) Then again, my dad went through his mom's death and the whole estate business, so he would have a clue from that experience.

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My dh takes care of all the bills. I've got a general idea, and I know where to find all the information should something happen to him. It's not because I don't know how to do it (I did live alone before we were married), it's just that I don't care to do it. Just because I'm not currently up on all the information doesn't mean I don't know how to handle my own affairs. Granted, he's naturally better at it than I am. I do run the books for our Judo club (and I hate doing it).

 

:iagree: (bolded) My husband and I married later in life so I had lived on my own for quite a long while before we married. I took care of my own affairs just fine for many years. I would not mind that much doing it now but he really needs to be in control of all of that. It is just his nature. So, I was fine backing off of it and letting him handle it. I know how to find all of the info. He keeps the files very orderly. But I have no desire to hash it out every month with him, nor does he.

 

We currently have enough in savings and make enough that we do not have to be concerned with every little detail, from month to month. Maybe that is part of the difference. If things were tight, I could see where I might have to stay more up to date in the details to make sure I am not over spending in an area inadvertently.

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Sometimes I wish....LOL I take care of all the financial info and it's my husband who doesn't have much of a clue.
Same here. And to add input to your theory, we were married young. I went from home, to the Navy (where you don't have to take care of a lot of those things), to being married. I guess our habits came from after I was discharged and became a SAHM military wife. I was the one who was consistently home, so it made sense that I would take care of those things. :001_smile: It would drive me crazy to be that clueless about our financial state.
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I keep running into women who don't know either financial information or utilities or insurance or anything.

 

Please note I don't ask financial info myself, and wouldn't, but either they are asked by other women I am with OR they offer up the info themselves.

 

Things like,

 

"I don't know who our insurance company is, my husband takes care of all that."

 

or

 

"I don't know what our cell plan covers, I just make calls, my husband takes care of all of that."

 

or

 

"I don't know how much our utilities (or other bills) are, my husband pays the bill."

 

DH and I talk about all of these things.....down to the last penny almost! AND I know all our companies and policy info. I would hate to think something happening to DH and me not knowing where that info was and how to handle my own affairs.

 

Then I also have a theory and I can't prove it, but I wonder if many of these women went from living at home or college strait to having a home WITH a husband? I lived alone for a long time and had to take care of things on my own before we married. I wonder if women who were single for a while are more attentive to these things? I could be wrong, as it is just a theory.

 

Are we odd?

 

I'm one of these and might fit that stereotype.:tongue_smilie:We were married before we graduated college.

 

Actually, I did handle all the finances for a few years. After kids came along, we looked at everything I had to do and decided that would be something DH could handle so I didn't have so much on my plate.

 

The information is available to me, I just choose not to focus on that. I have a budget to run the household and homeschool, and keep that within those parameters so we stay out of debt. We have monthly discussions so I know what's going on and for planning. But if someone asked me a question, I would say they need to talk to DH. I can find anything if I need to and he keeps a list of all account information in case there is an emergency and I need to take over.

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