(kind of long)Vent: I have never before been sorry to have invited someone for supper

[Audrey]

But it happened tonight. :sad:

 

There is a new-ish family that moved in to town. They have a boy about my son's age and one just a bit younger. The dad of the family works for the RM, as does my dh part-time. Dh suggested we have them over since the dad had said they were having a hard time getting to know people.

 

So, I phoned up the mom about a week and a half ago and invited them over, inquiring as to which date would work best for them. As I always do when I invite people over, I asked her "is there anything special you'd like to eat, or anything that you can't eat?" She just asked for my email and said she would get back to me.

 

So... I wasn't even sure if that was a yes or not. Days go by and no phone call reply or email. We hadn't made a specific date, and I was thinking that the non-response was probably a "no" in disguise. That was sort of okay with me. She doesn't know me. Maybe she's a little shy. That's okay.

 

But, then I got an email from her on Wednesday saying they'd come on Saturday and with a list of things they can't eat. No dairy, no gluten, no seafood, no brassicas, no nightshades, no artificials colours, etc. etc.

 

I looked at it and thought "okay... sounds like allergies and maybe a theraputic ADHD diet." No problem. What I'd been thinking of making just needed a couple of substitutes to make it fit the list.

 

She emailed again this afternoon and asked for the menu. I called her to tell her and she just wanted me to email it. :confused: She didn't even let me tell her on the phone. So, I emailed it -- steaks, from our own beef, grilled veggies (no brassicas, no nightshades), 3-bean salad all from scratch (I listed all the dressing ingredients), a green salad and fruit salad for dessert. She emailed back to say that was okay.

 

Then they came, and all through the meal she picked at every single morsel on her plate and on the kids' plates and picked out tiny bits that she'd put on their napkin to "throw out later." She asked a million questions about the beef and when dh said they were pastured, she said "oh well, too bad!" and scraped the rest of the meat off her plate and the kids plates into their napkins.

 

The dad never said a word about anything his wife did. He ate everything. Thanked us for a great meal. The kids were polite and thanked us. She thanked us, then offered to teach me how to cook.

 

I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I feel like I never want to have another soul over for supper ever again.

 

FWIW, my dh has already said they're not going to be invited back, but still... I feel like a piece of pasture-flop. :sad:

 

Umm... and I think this might be a JAWM post, so ya know... if you really don't like me already, could you just save trashing me for another thread? Thanks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have absolutely no problem agreeing with you, Audrey. She was beyond rude.

 

Wait. . . I don't agree with you on one thing - you have absolutely no reason to feel like pasture flop. You were beyond courteous and kind in letting her know all the ingredients in detail before the meal.

[Aunty Social]

.

[momma2three]

Yikes! They sound awful!

 

I feel sorry that those kids are learning those manners. They are going to have a steep learning curve when they get older and need to learn how to act towards other people.

 

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

Can I ask, what's wrong with pasture-fed beef? I thought that was ideal? I'm a vegetarian, so I'm a little bit out of it though.

[pqr]

No issue here, you are correct; her behavior was outrageous.

[Alice]

I think you may know why they are having trouble getting to know people.

 

Seriously, that is beyond rude. I cannot even imagine. Your dinner sounds absolutely lovely and it sounds like you went above and beyond to try and accommodate her requests.

 

ETA: I almost wonder if the mom has some kind of mental illness, that behavior sounds so out there. Or maybe I'm just lucky in never having met anyone that rude. Either way, you shouldn't feel bad at all.

Edited April 22, 2012 by Alice

[Jennifer in MI]

How dare she?! What an incredibly rude person.

[Lacie]

I'm so sorry. That sounds like a very uncomfortable dinner. As a parent of a child with food allergies I would appreciate someone going to the effort of ensuring that my child had safe food to eat.

 

:grouphug: for you

 

and a :chillpill: for your guests.

[jennynd]

no wonder they have problem to know people...

[Heatherwith4]

Audrey,

 

It sounds like you were a very gracious host, so no reason to feel bad. Your dinner sounds delicious to me - I would have been happy to eat it. :)

[DusksAngel]

I don't think the problem was with your cooking. I'm beginning to see why they are having a hard time meeting people. What a complete horse's butt. That was beyond rude!

[Mothersweets]

Wow. I can't imagine. Sorry you had to go through this, Audrey. No WONDER they are "having a hard time getting to know people"! They're nuts!!

[Photo Ninja]

That was unbelievably rude of her, and even more so after you went to so much effort to be sure they could eat the meal you cooked. You went above and beyond to be a good hostess.

 

HHmmmm...I wonder if this is one reason they are not connecting with people.

[DesertDweller]

Sorry that happened to you! Wow!! That's the craziest and rudest behavior I've ever heard of.

 

I seriously doubt they'll be finding friends any time soon!!

[justLisa]

This woman is not rude, she is CRAZY. Like, absolute wack-o. I wouldn't even feel bad. I think this is one of those situations that I would laugh about for all eternity....like "The crazy lady who came to dinner."

[susankenny]

What in the world! You should have titled this thread, "I went to the Twilight Zone tonight!".

 

What a bizarre experience. Don't feel bad, Audrey:grouphug: She is an ungrateful, very rude, unkind woman! You opened your home with a warm heart and hospitality. Her behavior was absolutely unacceptable (truly, from beginning to end, totally unacceptable!).:grouphug:

 

 

Susan

[gardening momma]

She was so rude. How long did it take after supper to boot them out the door?

 

(I wouldn't invite them back either, or go to their place if they return the favor)

[Julie in CA]

Rude, rude, RUDE! :glare:

 

I want to be angry with her on your behalf, but then I thought about it again. What I came up with is this:

 

There are lots of poor folks in the world who have either been born with no brains, or are mentally ill, or who received so little love in their lives that they've never figured out how to get past that. How very, very sad that she's so awful. I pity the poor people like that, who are horrible, and don't even seem to realize it. Pity her, and then move on. Rejoice in the fact that you're kind, sweet, gracious, beautiful, humble, adorable, and did I mention that you're a great cook? :D How very sad that she's so messed up that she can't even recognize that. :001_smile: :grouphug:

[Medieval Mom]

DON'T feel like pasture-flop!! Good grief! You bent over backwards to provide a fantastic meal. Most people would bend over backwards to be able to EAT such a meal! Sheesh!

 

That poor woman was beyond rude. I truly feel sorry for her.

 

So sorry you had that experience. :grouphug:

[Brigitte]

Whoa! That was incredibly rude of her. No wonder they are having a hard time getting to know people. Sheesh.

[Audrey]

Yikes! They sound awful!

 

I feel sorry that those kids are learning those manners. They are going to have a steep learning curve when they get older and need to learn how to act towards other people.

 

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

Can I ask, what's wrong with pasture-fed beef? I thought that was ideal? I'm a vegetarian, so I'm a little bit out of it though.

 

 

I don't know what's wrong with pastured beef. I was too mortified watching her scrape it off the plates to ask. We're kind of a little proud of the way we treat our itty-bitty herd. I would have been happy to show them to her, but I think that wouldn't have helped any. :crying:

[Annie G]

That is so beyond rude.

We don't have special dietary needs- can you enlighten me what might could have possibly been wrong with pastured beef?

 

Well, the truth is they are going to get invites once and never again if this is her SOP. I can't imagine anyone choosing to forge a friendship with her.

 

Too bad. Her dh sounds like he needs a friend.

[ssavings]

Wow. That's simply crazy.

 

Sounds like your dinner was wonderful. And, honestly, she was very rude.

[Mommyof4ks]

Wow. No wonder they're having trouble getting to know people. Who's going to ask for a second dose of that behavior?

 

:grouphug: your dinner sounds wonderful to me.

 

:iagree: Wow, you were more than accommodating, and if she is that concerned, then she should have said she would love to get together but due to allergies maybe it would be best if your family came to their house.

 

I will come to your house! :D We may not agree on some topics, but you cooking sounds yummy.

[susankenny]

I truly feel sorry for her.

 

 

 

I feel sorry for her kids!! Can you imagine the fun life they have ahead of them trying to make friends! Good gravy. Great balls of fire.

 

 

Susan

[Pink Fairy]

It sounds like she has an unhealthy fixation with food, maybe a touch of OCD? I can't imagine a normal person behaving like that. :( Don't feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong AT ALL, and were extremely gracious and accommodating.

[Tap]

Can I ask, what's wrong with pasture-fed beef? I thought that was ideal? I'm a vegetarian, so I'm a little bit out of it though.

 

There are people who feel that grass fed beef is creating environmental concerns. Land previously used for other uses (deforestation ect), is being made into large pastures. I can't say this article is correct, but it holds some of the general ideas I have heard.

 

 

If they have severe food allergies, they may be concerned about eating an animal that ate those food.???:confused: Or they may be concerned that the animal wasn't healthy??? (some people worry about the health of privately raised animals.

 

Unless she said what what offensive about it, it would be hard to say.

 

 

 

PS. I don't agree with her by the way. :D We have only eaten privately raised, grass fed beef for 18 years, so I have heard a few of the above comments over they years.

[Audrey]

She was so rude. How long did it take after supper to boot them out the door?

 

(I wouldn't invite them back either, or go to their place if they return the favor)

 

 

She packed them all up to go as soon as we were done eating.

 

I also just noticed I can't find all my napkins. :confused:

[cathmom]

:grouphug:

 

Oh, Audrey!

 

:grouphug:

[justasque]

...

How very, very sad that she's so awful. I pity the poor people like that, who are horrible, and don't even seem to realize it. Pity her, and then move on. Rejoice in the fact that you're kind, sweet, gracious, beautiful, humble, adorable, and did I mention that you're a great cook? :D How very sad that she's so messed up that she can't even recognize that. :001_smile: :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

There are some serious issues there, possibly not entirely within her control.

Pity her husband and her kids. And if you have a chance to have them over without her, go for it.

 

I would have had a hard time watching her chuck the meat after you raised the animals. :-(

[Audrey]

There are people who feel that grass fed beef is creating environmental concerns. Land previously used for other uses (deforestation ect), is being made into large pastures. I can't say this article is correct, but it holds some of the general ideas I have heard.

 

 

If they have severe food allergies, they may be concerned about eating an animal that ate those food.???:confused: Or they may be concerned that the animal wasn't healthy??? (some people worry about the health of privately raised animals.

 

Unless she said what what offensive about it, it would be hard to say.

 

 

 

PS. I don't agree with her by the way. :D We have only eaten privately raised, grass fed beef for 18 years, so I have heard a few of the above comments over they years.

 

 

I have heard some of the above concerns, but really... I can't imagine how it applies to us, as we have a herd of only 4-8 at any given time, and they pasture they're on has been certified organic for about 6 years now. Under normal circumstances, I would have been happy to discuss it, but was just too embarrassed.

[susankenny]

She packed them all up to go as soon as we were done eating.

 

I also just noticed I can't find all my napkins. :confused:

 

:lol: That's not funny, but oh gosh - it is so funny!! She stole napkins?? What a total nut job. Audrey, I don't drink. But my goodness, if you do drink, please go have one right now. You deserve it.

 

Susan

[SKL]

Whenever I have an experience like that, I think about how funny it will be once I write my sit-com.

 

That woman is a gold mine of sit-com material.

 

Nobody acts like that. Don't let it get to you.

[Denisemomof4]

Oh my gosh, you were so gracious to her before they came over, and so gracious with her in your home. Your meal sounds DELICIOUS.

 

I am embarrassed for that woman you invited over, and I feel sorry for her husband and kids. Was she homeschooled? Do you know? Clearly she doesn't know how to socialize.:tongue_smilie:

 

I wish I could have been your guest. I am sure your meal was superb.

 

Did that rude woman even notice how clean your windows are? If not she clearly is comp,etely and totally socially inept.

 

Consider yourself lucky. You don't have to see her again.:D

:grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

Wow!! I'm thinking it sounds incredible!!! We'd like to come any time!! My daughter is allergic to peanuts and shellfish, only. I am so willing to bring any dessert I can make... (ok, so just a few choices, I make a great Peach pie and also Apple Crisp. I usually use store made Icecream.) My son is a bit hyper, but we make him listen up. Can I be your next guest?? :)

[Shannon in TN]

I have absolutely no problem agreeing with you, Audrey. She was beyond rude.

 

Wait. . . I don't agree with you on one thing - you have absolutely no reason to feel like pasture flop. You were beyond courteous and kind in letting her know all the ingredients in detail before the meal.

 

:iagree:

 

She packed them all up to go as soon as we were done eating.

 

I also just noticed I can't find all my napkins. :confused:

 

so, wait a minute, she insulted your cooking and hosting skills AND took your napkins, too? :glare:

[Tap]

I can't believe that she found someone to cook for her, who actually understood all of her restrictions and could cook a delicious sounding meal within them!

 

Maybe she wasn't expecting you to pull it off! I bet she is so used to finding something wrong with the food she is served, that the 'pasture raised beef' was all she could pick on.

 

I am curious what her attitude was like when you told her you were able to accommodate her diet? Did she offer to bring anything or ask for any details?

 

When ds was on a very restricted diet, I used to tell people I would bring a couple of dishes, and that they could make their dinner as they normally would. IF they insisted on accommodating, then I just told them to only modify a few dishes and let us know which ones, so they didn't have to cook in a way that is foreign to them. The is no way, I would have expected someone to make an entire meal within his diet parameters.

 

 

Hat off to you for going as far as you did for her!

Edited April 22, 2012 by Tap, tap, tap

[Soror]

I think she is insane, seriously. We have been on some pretty strict diets and have never heard anyone talk about not eating pastured beef. That combined with her inability to talk on the phone, pretty much solidifies her craziness. I invited some hs ladies over once and the one lady brought her husband but had her friend call to tell me- and then her husband went around and found different things to insult about our house and that was my worse visit- it doesn't hold a candle to yours those.

[Slipper]

It is so hard for us to go anywhere. My oldest daughter (with autism) has unusual behaviors, is prone to urinating anywhere when she feels overwhelmed and sometimes just melts down and shrieks. Our middle daughter cannot have gluten (and can have reactions from trace amounts which causes almost immediate pain and vomiting). Our youngest can't have milk and if anxious about going somewhere just curls up into a ball of feeling bad.

 

I am always so grateful for the people who take the time and trouble to invite us over and cook for us. When I saw the list of things you had to work around, I almost cried. I can't imagine someone taking the time to go to all that work.

 

I have no idea why that lady behaved as she did. I'm sorry she did.

[Denisemomof4]

She packed them all up to go as soon as we were done eating.

 

I also just noticed I can't find all my napkins. :confused:

 

She was jealous of your delicious cooking. She took the napkins home, filled with food, so she could enjoy it all in private.

:grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

:iagree:

There are some serious issues there, possibly not entirely within her control.

Pity her husband and her kids. And if you have a chance to have them over without her, go for it.

 

I would have had a hard time watching her chuck the meat after you raised the animals. :-(

 

Exactly, "We loved having you(him!) over the other night. Any night you get left behind, we'd be more than happy to feed you!!" ;)

[Trish]

Audrey, you were way more accommodating than you needed to be. The perfect hostess! Don't get drawn into a friendship with these people. It doesn't sound fixable. Egads.

[Miss Peregrine]

I am appalled for you.

 

:grouphug:

[gardening momma]

Did you check the trash can? She did put the unwanted food on the napkins, so she could dispose of it. Did she throw them away?

[kalanamak]

It sounds like she has "problems". Thank your stars she isn't related to you.

[justasque]

Did you check the trash can? She did put the unwanted food on the napkins, so she could dispose of it. Did she throw them away?

 

That's what I was thinking too. We've had a guest or two who just didn't get the cloth napkin concept and threw them out, in an attempt to clean up after themselves. It's such a common thing in the thrifty crafty homeschool world, but not so much in some other cultural groups.

[Truscifi]

This woman is not rude, she is CRAZY. Like, absolute wack-o. I wouldn't even feel bad. I think this is one of those situations that I would laugh about for all eternity....like "The crazy lady who came to dinner."

 

:iagree: It'll make a great story. Eventually. :grouphug:

[imeverywoman]

so I could make a wonderful dinner for you! You deserve it!:grouphug:

[Alenee]

Did you check the trash can? She did put the unwanted food on the napkins, so she could dispose of it. Did she throw them away?

 

This was my first thought but if you don't find them, maybe you just figured out another of her mental illnesses. Sad.

 

:grouphug:

[KnitWit]

Holy Cow! You shouldn't be embarrassed! I think the Twilight Zone opened up and dropped some dinner guests in your lap! She's a Whackadoodle!

 

Did the husband make direct eye contact with you or your husband and try to *hold your stare*? It may have been a silent plea to rescue him before they return to the home planet!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Do NOT take it personally!