(kind of long)Vent: I have never before been sorry to have invited someone for supper

[Blueridge]

:grouphug: I know this lady's twin. :glare: I have seen and heard her do things almost identically to the way your 'guest' behaved. Her husband acted like, well, like a quiet weakling around her. Maybe he thought she was just amazing, who knows! I saw everyone around her trying to be patient and kind and forgiving, but it made her worse. She knew that she was in control of everything, all the time. It never got better, several years later. I am sure that today she is virtually alone, standing on her hill of perfection. I urge you, if the two of you should ever cross paths again, be strong and courageous, and say something. For your sake. Nothing offensive or hateful, but something that will show her that her behavior really isn't kind or necessary, but unkind and prideful. So sorry you endured all of that.

[ThisIsTheDay]

:grouphug: I know this lady's twin.

 

Now I'm DYING to know. Do I know this person? :D:D:D:D

 

I'm seeing Jennie for coffee tonight. I won't ask her, but I wonder if she knows her. (I'm thinking you know Jennie since your girls are the same age...) Will I really be able to think of anything else??:lol:

[Remudamom]

I think she did the right thing. I'm just pretty sure I wouldn't have!

[Blueridge]

Now I'm DYING to know. Do I know this person? :D:D:D:D

 

I'm seeing Jennie for coffee tonight. I won't ask her, but I wonder if she knows her. (I'm thinking you know Jennie since your girls are the same age...) Will I really be able to think of anything else??:lol:

 

Oh my gosh, you would know it was her...there would be no doubt! It still makes me feel rather ill to think of her. Since I drifted away from all that, another dear lady has contacted me because she was now being treated SO unkindly by that woman. (She was seeking some coping strategies.) I regretted not saying something all that time (several years of unkindness) because it might have made a difference to other people who dealt with her in the future, kwim? Sometimes there is mental illness, I realize, but sometimes it is just awful pride of perfectionism. I feel terrible for the OP because I know first hand how painful it is to sit there and be kind and understanding, while you are being humiliated and made to feel 'lacking'. It's like being stuck in a bad dream...

Edited April 23, 2012 by Blueridge

[mommaduck]

Am I the only person who thinks Audrey did the right thing by not saying or doing anything about the woman's behavior?

 

Yes, she was rude beyond anything I've ever heard of and may or not have a mental illness, but bringing it up would have likely caused a scene and truly embarrassed the husband and children. Which is also probably why they were acting normally and not trying to re-direct the woman. What a hard situation for everyone involved :001_unsure: I am so sorry she treated your hospitality that way!

 

The husband likely knows the reason they don't have friends, but really it was probably a blessing to the husband that you were able to get past her emails and give them (not the wife) an enjoyable evening. The husband now knows your DH and would probably appreciate that acquaintance.

 

That's what I would focus on. I probably wouldn't hesitate to go over to their house and just roll with the punches. Let her go through all the work next time...but still be gracious.

 

I hope you (Audrey) don't take this like I'm bashing you! :mellow:

I believe nearly all of us, if not all of us, know she did the right thing. Most of the comments though are more to humour a bad situation (lighten it up for Audrey...to make her smile ;) ).

[Audrey]

Am I the only person who thinks Audrey did the right thing by not saying or doing anything about the woman's behavior?

 

Yes, she was rude beyond anything I've ever heard of and may or not have a mental illness, but bringing it up would have likely caused a scene and truly embarrassed the husband and children. Which is also probably why they were acting normally and not trying to re-direct the woman. What a hard situation for everyone involved :001_unsure: I am so sorry she treated your hospitality that way!

 

The husband likely knows the reason they don't have friends, but really it was probably a blessing to the husband that you were able to get past her emails and give them (not the wife) an enjoyable evening. The husband now knows your DH and would probably appreciate that acquaintance.

 

That's what I would focus on. I probably wouldn't hesitate to go over to their house and just roll with the punches. Let her go through all the work next time...but still be gracious.

 

I hope you (Audrey) don't take this like I'm bashing you! :mellow:

 

I don't think you're bashing me. I know what you're saying. I don't think anyone's seriously chastizing me for not doing/saying something. I think they're just expressing their feelings on how bad she was.

 

FWIW, I feel like since I invited her to be a guest, then I have to treat her like a guest. If she had said or done something insulting to my dh or ds, then I'd have to draw a line there and insist she either stop or leave. But, she really only insulted me, and that... well, I invited her, so I kind of have to take it. If I went to her house, I would be a proper and gracious guest. I am Southern-raised, and I really can't shake that, nor do I really want to.

 

That all said, had we been anywhere else and there was no guest/host dynamic at play, and she had made such insulting comments and insinuations, you can be quite sure I would have verbally yanked the rod from her backdoor faster than a old cracker can spit. ;)

 

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

[Scarlett]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

This is priceless.

 

How dumb is she that she thinks she can come into a new small community and go around insulting you like that?

[Jennifer in MI]

I

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

Excellent!!!!:lol:

[Cinder]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

I've been keeping up with this thread and I just have to say I LOVE THIS! :thumbup:

[mommaduck]

I'd be really interested in the cooking lessons she would offer. What kinds of things can a person who hates all food or who can't eat anything cook? :D

No kidding! The people I know that can cook the best, are good at cooking all kinds of food and enjoy a variety of food. You can't be that severely limited and be an extensive cook, can you?

[catz]

 

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

:lol: ROFL! Karma is already biting Ms. Whack-a-doodle in the butt! Love it.

[Tsutsie]

She's mad! And that is all there is to it!

Can we come over? We eat everything.

[nono]

I'd be really interested in the cooking lessons she would offer. What kinds of things can a person who hates all food or who can't eat anything cook? :D

 

 

I can see this in the class description:

 

BYON. Bring your own napkin.

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

Oh and I love your postmistress. May we donate towards her holiday tip? :D

[Slartibartfast]

She packed them all up to go as soon as we were done eating.

 

I also just noticed I can't find all my napkins. :confused:

 

Maybe the kids were sneaking meat home in the napkins? :lol:

 

We would be delighted to be served pastured beef.

 

There is a lot of land that is not suitable for farming that can be used for pasture land. If I am eating cow I would want to eat cow that has not been horribly treated on a factory farm. Pastured beef should be the preference.

 

I am shocked she would be so rude, I would have asked her what she was picking out and what her problems were with pasture land. I have food allergies so I would have attempted to ask in a curious sort of way....like, "Oh...what are you picking out? I tried to be certain nothing on your list was included"

 

Your post mistress sounds lovely. :lol:

Edited April 24, 2012 by Sis

[justamouse]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

Priceless.

 

But you know, that was all the better because you WERE so gracious and never said a word.

 

That's a good friend you have there in that post mistress. The other one, trying to infer to 'strangers' that you needed cooking lessons? That one will get all that right back to her-as she already is, and she probably doesn't even get it.

[Gisele Marie]

I'm impressed with how willing you were to accommodate!! Do you think she was actually aware of how ungracious she was? I'm glad her husband and kids seemed to have manners! Have you heard from her since the dinner?

 

Bless you!

Gisele

[4everHis]

I think you may know why they are having trouble getting to know people.

 

Seriously, that is beyond rude. I cannot even imagine. Your dinner sounds absolutely lovely and it sounds like you went above and beyond to try and accommodate her requests.

 

ETA: I almost wonder if the mom has some kind of mental illness, that behavior sounds so out there. Or maybe I'm just lucky in never having met anyone that rude. Either way, you shouldn't feel bad at all.

 

:iagree: with this whole post. You were a wonderful hostess.

[readinmom]

I think you were a very gracious host, and went way beyond to make them comfortable in your home. I feel extremely sorry for the children; imagine what it's like to live like that.

[QuirkyKapers]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

:D This is priceless~ Nothing better than someone else saying something that puts someone in their place.

[Mothersweets]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

I love this!!

[FairyMom]

 

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

 

I hope this gave you well-deserved warm fuzzies. So sorry this happened to you. You were over-the-top gracious! :grouphug:

[kolamum]

Wow. No wonder they're having trouble getting to know people. Who's going to ask for a second dose of that behavior?

 

:grouphug: your dinner sounds wonderful to me.

 

My very first thought!

 

She was jealous of your delicious cooking. She took the napkins home, filled with food, so she could enjoy it all in private.

:grouphug:

 

:smilielol5:

 

OMG!! You're a winner! Thanks for suggesting that! I never would have thought it. They were, indeed, in the bin.

 

:001_huh: Seriously, who thinks to throw away cloth napkins?! She must think you are SO upscale to be able to replace your cloth napkins every week! ;)

 

Yes, but my dh only works part-time (Thursdays and Saturdays, and if there is a lot of snow), so he won't see him again for a while probably. He has said he's just dying to see if the guy says anything. Dh is taking it with a lot more humour than I'm managing at the moment.

 

Rats, because I'm totally with your dh & wondering what on earth, if anything, her dh would say.

 

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

This sent me over the edge in laughter. Wow, I wonder if you'll hear from her now.

 

I'm also curious as to why she felt you needed cooking lessons. She clearly had your menu in writing {I wonder if that was because if you swayed from it she was gonna come after you..} & what on earth was she picking off the plates aside from the meat?!

 

All I can say, is anyone invited to your house is pretty darned lucky if you're willing to accommodate their food needs!

[Guest RachelFM]

And now, exposure to her has made you allergic to nuts!

[Rosie_0801]

And now, exposure to her has made you allergic to nuts!

 

:lol:

[fraidycat]

On a related note, when I went to get the mail today, the post mistress asked me about the dinner. She heard from the crazy lady about it. She told me crazy had said she'd offered me cooking lessons. Post mistress told crazy about all the community cooking classes I've taught (usually in the winter, sometimes with a friend of mine -- post mistress has been to several). I'm told crazy turned three shades of red. It's nice to know people have your back. :D

 

Oh Em Gee...CLASSIC!! :lol:

 

I do love me some KARMA, baby!! :lol::lol:

[AuntieM]

Your mail lady rocks! That is so funny!

 

But I have to wonder, how in the world did a conversation about you get started between the two of them? Did Mrs. Whackadoo just start spouting off about the dinner, or asking questions about other folks in town, or what?

 

I love it that your postmistress rose to your defense (in stellar fashion!), but I find it oh so strange that the opportunity even arose. Watch out, Audrey, you might have a stalker. That's what you get for being so nice!