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Last day is for ds coming up. Prayers, pls.


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I will probably delete this thread in a few hours, but wanted to ask for prayer.

Ds has a deadline due to his behavior, now. He has to leave the house by Tues. We've given him two weeks. He's completely out there, iykwim, with old behaviors and worse. We are still offering 2 mo rent, up to a certain amt we feel he could maintain if he got a job. That offer has been on the table since July. No movement, continued old behavior. Now he's doing it here and on the property.

Dh is getting a court order so he won't be able to come home at all until he gets into treatment or has a plan to, and has another address.

Ds says he "loves his life" and does "whatever I want to, whenever I want to." There is a "pack" of young adults who he hangs with, and they spend all day and all night at each other's homes, drinking, drugging, having s#x, etc. He is gone for days at a time, doesn't check in at all. It's really bizarre and foreign to me. They are so lost.

He has no phone, no job, no license, is on prob (his PO doesn't care, apparently), and now will have no permanent address. We asked him what should we do with your stuff. Answer--I don't care.

We will store his bed and dresser and the things in his closet for him, but we are setting the alarm on Tues and he will not be allowed here by the court. I will have to call the police if he tries to come.

 

This is so hard. It doesn't feel right. It is not the way I want to parent. I feel we have no choice. Dh has to protect the property, and we have to protect ourselves and dd.

 

Prayers pls. I do not want to call the police on my own son. I do not want to turn him away. He is so, so in the pit. But he's 20, and we have offered and tried and counseled and gotten help, and loved him thru all we can, since he was 12 and this started. This boundary is incredible difficult for me as I tend towards enmeshment with my kids and enabling. I told dd what would happen and she cried, but then she said, "Sometimes it takes drastic measures." Pray he will not show up for our Super Bowl party tonight, pray for him to stay alive, pray for my heart and for dd and dh.

 

Thanks for all your support.

Chris,

Many prayers and hugs. I ABSOLUTELY understand what you are going through. This is one of the hardest things a mother has to deal with. You love him so much. You love him so much that you will do what is right even if it breaks your heart. Prayers for peace to your family. Prayers for direction and prayers of protection on him.

Laurel

Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk more.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I had five cops take my son out. I cried and cried. But I wanted to tell you that it worked...not the cops, but our not tolerating him being stoned and drunk in our house. I couldn't let my littles live with that fear.

 

He's better now. It was rough, but he's got a job, car, license, insurance...he's growing up. Got a great job he can do the rest of his life if he sticks with it. Its not perfect, but it's better.

 

He's made some decisions I'm downright proud of. And the space gave us to room to communicate with love.

 

Keep praying. It works.

Edited by justamouse
can't edit on the fire
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I am so sorry that your family is going through this. I will tell you that I know people who have come through addiction and have great lives now. But, they absolutely need to want recovery. They all needed a residential rehab and a new start somewhere else to make it happen. But, it can happen.

 

Sending love and prayers.:grouphug:

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