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Last day is for ds coming up. Prayers, pls.


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Chris, I am so sorry. I have read your posts over the past years about your ds and all that has gone on. You have done everything *you* can do except this. May this be what finally works for him. An addict won't stop being an addict if they don't want to stop being an addict.

 

Praying for you and your family. I am so sorry!

 

:grouphug:

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Chirs, I too wanted to share a hopeful story with you.

 

I have a dear friend who is one of the most perceptive women spiritually whom I have had the privilege of knowing. Her husband is a professor at seminary. They both love reaching out to the current generation. He's the only person I know who uses current secular music in his sermons : )

 

I digress....their eldest, a girl, became an alcoholic pretty young, such that by the end of their road with her, she was removed from their home at about 17.

 

I don't know all the circumstances, but girlie has bit by bit found her way back to health and has now set a wedding date with her live-in who is a devout Catholic and a kind man. She has a good relationship with her family. She edges closer to God more each year, but she is overcoming her own fears and pride to do it.

 

My friend has a small, discrete tattoo on the inside of her wrist: the word HOPE in a pretty script.

 

God's goodness and ability to "restore the years" is what she rests in every day.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Praying for you, Chris. You have done everything possible to help your ds, and I know you will still be there for him when he finally decides to turn his life around. You're doing what is best for your entire family -- including your ds, because you won't be enabling him any more -- and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

 

I'm so, so sorry you have to do this, but ultimately your actions now with your ds may save your dd from following the wrong path as she gets older.

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I will probably delete this thread in a few hours, but wanted to ask for prayer.

Ds has a deadline due to his behavior, now. He has to leave the house by Tues. We've given him two weeks. He's completely out there, iykwim, with old behaviors and worse. We are still offering 2 mo rent, up to a certain amt we feel he could maintain if he got a job. That offer has been on the table since July. No movement, continued old behavior. Now he's doing it here and on the property.

Dh is getting a court order so he won't be able to come home at all until he gets into treatment or has a plan to, and has another address.

Ds says he "loves his life" and does "whatever I want to, whenever I want to." There is a "pack" of young adults who he hangs with, and they spend all day and all night at each other's homes, drinking, drugging, having s#x, etc. He is gone for days at a time, doesn't check in at all. It's really bizarre and foreign to me. They are so lost.

He has no phone, no job, no license, is on prob (his PO doesn't care, apparently), and now will have no permanent address. We asked him what should we do with your stuff. Answer--I don't care.

We will store his bed and dresser and the things in his closet for him, but we are setting the alarm on Tues and he will not be allowed here by the court. I will have to call the police if he tries to come.

 

This is so hard. It doesn't feel right. It is not the way I want to parent. I feel we have no choice. Dh has to protect the property, and we have to protect ourselves and dd.

 

Prayers pls. I do not want to call the police on my own son. I do not want to turn him away. He is so, so in the pit. But he's 20, and we have offered and tried and counseled and gotten help, and loved him thru all we can, since he was 12 and this started. This boundary is incredible difficult for me as I tend towards enmeshment with my kids and enabling. I told dd what would happen and she cried, but then she said, "Sometimes it takes drastic measures." Pray he will not show up for our Super Bowl party tonight, pray for him to stay alive, pray for my heart and for dd and dh.

 

Thanks for all your support.

 

Chris, I am so sad for you and your family but at the same time I think you are doing the right thing for everyone. Praying for you.

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