Piercing baby's ears

[TammyinTN]

My grandbaby had it done at 8 weeks. She has the cutest little diamond studs. When my girls were 13 we had theirs done for their birthday.

[Firefly]

Personally, I'm not a fan of earrings on infants/really little girls. DD is soon to be twelve and asked to have them done this summer, and I felt she was ready to take care of them so we said yes. Incidentally I'd allow 13 year old DS, too, but he hasn't asked. :)

[Vanna]

Disclaimer: I am ethnic and my family is multi-ethnic

 

I've read through some of the posts in this thread and some of the words are really over the top! For someone to say it makes them vomit when they see a baby with pierced ears -- really? :confused: People, please!

 

To the OP -- if you're not comfortable with getting your dd's ears pierced and your hubby wants it, I guess the two of you will have to come to some agreement on what's to be done. What are your hubby's reasons for wanting your dd's ears pierced?

[Acorn]

Never for an infant, and somewhere between when the child asks and an age set by the parents.

[missesd]

When we were LDS, we decided if they were old enough to make the decision to get baptized, they were old enough to decide to get their ear pierced. That was 8, so next year it's on the agenda. Been that way for years too. But with her getting hers done, and no longer being LDS, we've decided to let her younger sister (5, almost 6 then) get hers done too.

[Tangerine]

I've read through some of the posts in this thread and some of the words are really over the top! For someone to say it makes them vomit when they see a baby with pierced ears -- really? :confused: People, please!

 

It makes some people cringe to see infants subjected to pain for decoration's sake. I can't say it makes me want to vomit, but I certainly understand why people have strong feelings on the matter. It is kind of like decorative scarring in some cultures. It is part of their culture, but it doesn't mean that you can't find it disturbing in the context of your own.

[GingerPoppy]

Dd has to wait until she's 16. I know it's often a cultural thing--to each his own on that one. In our case, I am holding off. There's not much to wait for in our lives, and I think it is a way to teach something about both delaying gratification and about "with age comes priviledge and responsibility." Not the only way to teach that, but fwiw, that's what we are doing.

 

I decided long ago that if my daughter wanted pierced ears, she could get them at age 10. I believe that waiting for something, anticipating it, and dreaming about it is half the fun. Remember looking at the Christmas catalogs that came to the house in November? I'd dream and dream of the various toys, knowing full well I'd never get one even 5% of them, but the dreaming passed many an enjoyable afternoon on the rug. And, similarly, planning for Christmas has always given as much pleasure as actually experiencing it.

 

So, my goal was to have my daughter have this to look forward to--and she has, since age 5. We are now approaching her 10th birthday in December, and she's SO excited. We are doing it with another mother and daughter set of friends (she's also turning 10 soon), and it will a neat coming-of-age memory and special experience.

 

I've seen it in so many kids--when they get everything they want too soon, without anticipating, some get jaded so young.

 

For a variety of reasons, most of them mentioned by PP, I don't like piercings in infants.

[justamouse]

Dumb question--don't the babies pull on their earrings? I'd be worried that they'd get one out and swallow it!

 

Um, not dumb.

 

I had them done as an infant and I did not swallow them, daughter have not either. They actually don't realize they are there.

[Desert Rat]

I don't have daughters, but I'm open to my sons getting pierced ears. I voted when they ask. I was almost 9 when I asked my parents. They told me I had to get straight A's for a quarter. So, I did. :) Then, they changed their minds and said an entire semester. So, I did. :) They caved after that and I got my first piercings then. At16, my mom and I went to get our second holes done together. Then, I had a friend who owned a piercing gun so I got 2 more holes in each ear and one in my nose over the course of 2 years. I no longer have the nose, but the rest are still in.

[fairfarmhand]

newborns are too high maintenance anyway! GAH! Adding the turning and disinfecting too...Also pulling shirts on and off...I've had more than one mom tell me they ripped their babies ears when an earring got caught in their shirt!!!

 

We wait till age 6, then the girl can decide. IT is a rite of passage from being a little girl to being a bigger girl. All of my girls have really looked forward to their ear piercings.

[EmilyinND]

My mother had mine done when I was 3. I took my daughter in to have hers done when she was 4 1/2. She freaked out when I tried to clean them & they got infected, so we let them close. A week ago, we took her in to get them re-pierced (she's 9). She's been very good about letting me clean them this time.

 

So, anyway, I voted that we would decide the age. I feel like this is a personal choice & it doesn't bother me if people get their baby's ears pierced or if they wait. Their choice.

[WagsWife]

First, I would say that you have to do what you are comfortable with. I understand all the reasons why people choose NOT to have infants ears pierced.

 

We had all three of our girls ears pierced at about 8 weeks, and none of us have ever regretted it.

 

When I was little I begged and pleaded to have my ears pierced. When I was seven they finally relented, and my dad took me. I was thrilled to finally have them done but--It hurt, I was miserable...and I was scared to say a word because I had made such a fuss. Because I was scared of more hurting, I would not turn the earrings like I was supposed to...and forget putting that stuff on that SMELLED like it would hurt! My ears ended up infected a lot, until I figured out that if I would just do what I was supposed to...there would not be any hurting at all. I did not want my girls having similar memories.

 

When infants ears are pierced the pain (if any) lasts only a few seconds. My first two, cried just long enough for me to put them in their favorite "hold." My third, I nursed while her ears were done, and she did not even stop sucking. Because they were infants and *I was responsible for their "ear care"...their ears never became infected. I just made it a habit to turn their earrings each time I fed them, and to clean them each time I changed their diaper.

 

Now that they are older, they are all glad to be able to wear earrings...but are also very glad that they did not have to remember getting it done. One time while we were at Clair's, there was a little girl getting them done, and she was so upset...even though she wanted it done. My girls all said they were very happy not to have to go through all of that.

[Reeciecup]

I like to get them pierced when they are young enough to let me do all the care. But I do wait until they are old enough to want them. My oldest was 3 and my youngest was 4.

 

When my youngest was 10 I let her get a 2nd ear lobe piercing, and my 17 year old has the top cartilage pierced as well as her belly button.

[Mrs Mungo]

How many of you moms get your infant's ears pierced? Dh wants us to do it to our newborn. I'm totally against it. He thinks most moms do it to their babies. I say no way.

 

What says the Hive?:bigear:

 

It is very common among certain cultural groups. If your dh belongs to one of those, then probably most of the babies in his circles have had it done.

 

Dumb question--don't the babies pull on their earrings? I'd be worried that they'd get one out and swallow it!

 

You can get earring with backs that screw on instead of pull off.

 

Eta: My girls were 5 when we let them do it. I don't know if I would support it for ds. It is pretty uncommon in our circles. I let eldest ge second holes when she turned 15.

Edited October 10, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[Jennifer3141]

IMO, I think babies with pierced ears are tacky looking. Why does a baby need jewelry?!?

 

DD has started asking about getting her ears pierced and DH and I need to sit down and talk about when/why/how it should be done. I will not have it done in a mall setting.

 

I had to wait until 7th grade before my aprents allowed me to pierce my ears. I don't know what DH's stance is on it yet.

[brett_ashley]

I never thought I would ever want to pierce a baby's ears, but I did pierce DD1's ears this summer. She was 14 months old. She is bald with brachycephaly and EVERYONE thought she was a boy. Also she is black and it seemed to me that most black baby girls in our area had pierced ears (though I have noticed the opposite since I pierced them of course!!).

 

It was a completely bizarre experience. We went to the mall and when the other mall patrons saw that she was getting her ears pierced, they stood and watched! A group of 10 or so strangers stood around in the mall foyer for the 10 minutes it took to get set up to watch the piercing!! What kind of sadistic people wait for 10 minutes to hear a baby scream?

 

A couple of previous posters mentioned they would not use a gun. What are the reasons for that?

[Leav97]

If she asks and I think she is ready, yes. But, DD has 0 pain tolerance and has no interest. About a year ago one of her cousins had her ears pierced, DD was horrified at the very idea of intentionally experiencing pain.

[KristinaBreece]

 

A couple of previous posters mentioned they would not use a gun. What are the reasons for that?

 

A basic summary:

 

http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm

[Slartibartfast]

My dd had her ears pierced when she asked.

[Tangerine]

A couple of previous posters mentioned they would not use a gun. What are the reasons for that?

 

Here's a thread where we discussed it:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=304916&highlight=ear+piercing

 

[Vanna]

It makes some people cringe to see infants subjected to pain for decoration's sake. I can't say it makes me want to vomit, but I certainly understand why people have strong feelings on the matter. It is kind of like decorative scarring in some cultures. It is part of their culture, but it doesn't mean that you can't find it disturbing in the context of your own.

Okay, thanks for the explanation. Some ppl find baby girls with pierced earrings *disturbing*. Hmmm, never encountered that till today, but it's true we learn something new everyday. :001_unsure:

 

I would say from my experience, the pain was no different than getting an injection -- it's not like we're doing a female circumcision! :tongue_smilie:

[TinaBlue]

My parents allowed me to have mine pierced when I was about 9, after I asked to have it done.

 

I'm not a fan of piercing infants' ears. I'll wait until my daughters want them pierced and are old enough to take care of their ears themselves.

[Vanna]

First, I would say that you have to do what you are comfortable with. I understand all the reasons why people choose NOT to have infants ears pierced.

 

We had all three of our girls ears pierced at about 8 weeks, and none of us have ever regretted it.

 

When I was little I begged and pleaded to have my ears pierced. When I was seven they finally relented, and my dad took me. I was thrilled to finally have them done but--It hurt, I was miserable...and I was scared to say a word because I had made such a fuss. Because I was scared of more hurting, I would not turn the earrings like I was supposed to...and forget putting that stuff on that SMELLED like it would hurt! My ears ended up infected a lot, until I figured out that if I would just do what I was supposed to...there would not be any hurting at all. I did not want my girls having similar memories.

 

When infants ears are pierced the pain (if any) lasts only a few seconds. My first two, cried just long enough for me to put them in their favorite "hold." My third, I nursed while her ears were done, and she did not even stop sucking. Because they were infants and *I was responsible for their "ear care"...their ears never became infected. I just made it a habit to turn their earrings each time I fed them, and to clean them each time I changed their diaper.

 

Now that they are older, they are all glad to be able to wear earrings...but are also very glad that they did not have to remember getting it done. One time while we were at Clair's, there was a little girl getting them done, and she was so upset...even though she wanted it done. My girls all said they were very happy not to have to go through all of that.

My dd saw a similar scene at Claire's and said the same thing.

[Mom22ns]

I just think it is wrong to permanently mutilate a child's body without their consent. My dd had her ears pierced around 8. We made her wait about a year from the time she first brought it up to give her time to be sure. When we went to Claire's they wanted to do both ears at the same time so she couldn't chicken out after the first one. That scared her, but I didn't let them and she had no trouble letting them pierce both ears, one at a time.

[Tangerine]

Okay, thanks for the explanation. Some ppl find baby girls with pierced earrings *disturbing*. Hmmm, never encountered that till today, but it's true we learn something new everyday. :001_unsure:

 

I would say from my experience, the pain was no different than getting an injection -- it's not like we're doing a female circumcision! :tongue_smilie:

 

This might be a fine point, and I can only speak for myself, but I'd like to say that I don't find the baby girls themselves disturbing. I find the practice of infant ear piercing troublesome, but I don't go around being disturbed by perfectly lovely little girls with pierced ears. :)

[TheAutumnOak]

First, I would say that you have to do what you are comfortable with. I understand all the reasons why people choose NOT to have infants ears pierced.

 

We had all three of our girls ears pierced at about 8 weeks, and none of us have ever regretted it.

 

When I was little I begged and pleaded to have my ears pierced. When I was seven they finally relented, and my dad took me. I was thrilled to finally have them done but--It hurt, I was miserable...and I was scared to say a word because I had made such a fuss. Because I was scared of more hurting, I would not turn the earrings like I was supposed to...and forget putting that stuff on that SMELLED like it would hurt! My ears ended up infected a lot, until I figured out that if I would just do what I was supposed to...there would not be any hurting at all. I did not want my girls having similar memories.

 

When infants ears are pierced the pain (if any) lasts only a few seconds. My first two, cried just long enough for me to put them in their favorite "hold." My third, I nursed while her ears were done, and she did not even stop sucking. Because they were infants and *I was responsible for their "ear care"...their ears never became infected. I just made it a habit to turn their earrings each time I fed them, and to clean them each time I changed their diaper.

 

Now that they are older, they are all glad to be able to wear earrings...but are also very glad that they did not have to remember getting it done. One time while we were at Clair's, there was a little girl getting them done, and she was so upset...even though she wanted it done. My girls all said they were very happy not to have to go through all of that.

 

:iagree: I am happy my ears are pierced and very happy that I do not remember getting it done...

[Bootsie]

I think this is a cultural thing. When dd was about 3 months old, I had her in public in a pink lace dress. A stranger commented "What a cute little boy." I said that she was a girl and the stranger replied, "Well, how was I supposed to know that; her ears aren't pierced!"

[lailasmum]

I don't really get why people stick holes in their body and put metal in them. I don't see why its attractive so I really don't get why anyone would do it to a baby, they have such beautiful little earlobes why permanently destroy them. It's rare to see babies with pierced ears around here.

 

I wont let my daughter do it until she is 16. Then its her decision. I can't imagine her even thinking about it any time soon but no one in our family wears jewellery.

[WishboneDawn]

I'm not against infant ear piercing but I can just see to many opportunities for the earrings to get caught in something and ripped from the ears...a hat being removed, a blanket being unwrapped, an infant being passed to another adult after snuggling in to the sweater wearing holder, etc. I think it's easy to control the risk of infection but the other stuff...Naw. And then after that comes toddlerhood where infection is a much bigger risk IMO. So I'd just wait it out.

[Pink Fairy]

I think this is a cultural thing. When dd was about 3 months old, I had her in public in a pink lace dress. A stranger commented "What a cute little boy." I said that she was a girl and the stranger replied, "Well, how was I supposed to know that; her ears aren't pierced!"

 

:lol: That's hilarious!

 

When it comes to earrings on a baby, I think it looks tacky. I'd feel the same way about babies wearing lipstick or high heels. It's weird. But I don't have moral objections, it's just not cute to me.

[Sarah CB]

We had our daughter's pierced as an infant. I had so many friends with infections from too much touching and not enough cleaning, through out my childhood. Not something I wanted for my daughter.

 

Her ears healed SO quickly and her tiny earrings were sweet, dainty and very feminine.

 

Until about 8 months ago we rarely changed her earrings. Now at a little over 8 years old, she changes them on her own, takes great care of her ears and is a very happy little girl.

 

We did the same thing. I had my ears pierced as a child and they ended up getting infected. My mom let them grow over and then I had them done again a few years later.

 

Instead of making it a huge big deal, I had dd's ears pierced at 3 months. I wanted to have them done before she knew she had ears so that she wasn't touching them. It was very easy, they healed beautifully, and at 15 dd still loves having earrings.

[yucabird]

I think this is a cultural thing. When dd was about 3 months old, I had her in public in a pink lace dress. A stranger commented "What a cute little boy." I said that she was a girl and the stranger replied, "Well, how was I supposed to know that; her ears aren't pierced!"

 

:iagree:

 

It is cultural. Neither of my girls have pierced ears and it didn't matter how "girly" the dress was; they'd still be mistaken for boys. In poorer communities infant and toddler boys wear girl clothing and vice-versa; pierced ears are the way to identify little girls.

[Dustybug]

I had my ears pierced as an infant and I rarely ever wear earrings. I think the last time I wore a pair was on my wedding day six years ago. :001_huh:

 

Our DDs don't have theirs pierced and won't until they are both old enough to ask for it AND old enough to care for the piercing themselves.

[jennsmile]

I was just thinking about this. I could go either way. I know infants that have pierced ears and I think they are cute.

 

My hesitation is I am allergic to gold, finally after years of infections from gold, and sterling I discovered I could tolerate only Surgical steel for extened periods. It finally allowed my ears to heal to the point that almost 20 years after getting my ears pierced I can wear whatever earrings I want without pain and I wear my surgical steel quite a lot to keep my holes open and infection free. And so as cute as I think they are I don't know that I would pierce my infant daughter till she was old enough to ask.

[Audrey]

How many of you moms get your infant's ears pierced? Dh wants us to do it to our newborn. I'm totally against it. He thinks most moms do it to their babies. I say no way.

 

What says the Hive?:bigear:

 

Well, I don't have a girl, but I really feel this is something that a girl should decide, at least in part, for herself. If you decide she's going to have pierced ears at infancy, she has no choice. It IS an elective body modification. I think all people (male and female) should have some say in any elective modifications to their bodies.

 

IIWM, I would wait until the girl asks for pierced ears and then I would discuss it from there. FWIW, I asked to have my ears pierced around age 11 or 12 and my mom agreed to do it for my next birthday (I can't remember now if that was my 12th or 13th).

[keptwoman]

I view it as elective body modification and when/if DD asks for them done and can give us logical reasons to have it done (not "but everyone has it done mom") and prove she's got the maturity to handle the care of it. I also am against the piercing guns so we have to find a place that doesn't use them.

:iagree:

I voted at an age determined by us, but also we would not do it until she actually asks for it and understands what is involved. I would use a piercer because I believe that the guns are unhygenic and can damage the ear.

[Crystal in VA]

We were going to wait until they were 12 but that was changed when my oldest, who was 3yo at the time, chopped off every bit of her beautiful blond ringlets. Afterwards she cried so much saying she looked like a boy, I hoped getting her ears pierced would help her feel more girly.

 

*Just for a little background...we had just lost my FIL who was my daughters whole world at that time. I found out later when she was older that the reason she cut her hair was to be like her Papaw, who was fairly thinning and had a bit of a bald spot (lol). She had a Mufasa stuffed animal that he had bought her so she gave him a haircut too in memory of Papaw. ;)

 

My other two daughters got their ears pierced once we felt they were capable of taking care of them. I think they were both about 10 or 11.

[freesia]

We allow them to pierce their ears at 11. I would have had it done when they were infants, my dh feels they should wait.

 

Anne

[LMD]

I voted other - though I nearly voted "certain age". I chose other because yes there is a certain age where they may choose to get their ears pierced - but it's not chosen by me. The age they can get it done is when they are adults and can make choices for their own bodies without their parents' permission.

[melmichigan]

We had all of our girls ears pierced when they were infants, before the nerve endings matured but after their 6 month immunizations, not a one even cried. I have only ever allowed earrings that will come undone if pulled on, not the screw backs that are often encouraged for infants, this remains a rule so no hoops until they are older. We haven't had any problems with them. :)

[Veritaserum]

We had all of our girls ears pierced when they were infants, before the nerve endings matured but after their 6 month immunizations, not a one even cried. I have only ever allowed earrings that will come undone if pulled on, not the screw backs that are often encouraged for infants, this remains a rule so no hoops until they are older. We haven't had any problems with them. :)

:confused: :001_huh:

[Mommy22alyns]

I am personally adamantly against piercing a baby's ears.

 

Rebecca had hers done at 8 and she asked for it. Sylvia had hers done a couple months after turning 6; again, she asked for it.

[IsabelC]

I don't expect or encourage my kids to get any piercings at any age, however I won't stop them if they want to. We'd probably get them to pay for it themselves though, so it won't be really young.

 

As for doing it as a baby, I think it really depends on where you live and who you know. If your culture or social milieu is such that practically everyone has pierced ears, I can see how it would be worth doing it when they're tiny: you know they'll want to later on, so why not get it over with before they can even find their ears to fiddle with the earrings. (In my geographical and socio-economic situation it is very rarely done, and a baby with pierced ears screams TACKY.)

[KatA]

My mom pierced my ears when I was only a few months old. I think that it was a good decision. I don't wear earrings unless it's a special event but I'm glad that I don't have to worry about them closing up. I don't remember it so it wasn't a traumatic event.

 

I don't have a daughter but I would probably wait until she said so. I'm pretty indifferent about it, I'd probably talk to my mom about why she decided to get them pierced and then weigh the choices. I don't really see it as a life altering decision.

[Denisemomof4]

dd11, almost 12, was 1 year old. She loves having pierced ears.

 

Dd8 was 5 years old. Her ears got infected so we let them close up. She got them pierced again at 6 years old and again, infection. I told her that she has to be old enough to clean her ears regularly before I'll try again. if she just could have left the earrings alone I'm certain she would have been fine! I likely won't try again until she's a teen.

[ktgrok]

My mom pierced my ears when I was only a few months old. I think that it was a good decision. I don't wear earrings unless it's a special event but I'm glad that I don't have to worry about them closing up. I don't remember it so it wasn't a traumatic event.

 

I don't have a daughter but I would probably wait until she said so. I'm pretty indifferent about it, I'd probably talk to my mom about why she decided to get them pierced and then weigh the choices. I don't really see it as a life altering decision.

 

Just because it was before you have memories doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic. Not saying it was, but not remembering it doesn't mean it wasn't. My daughter recently broke her elbow. It was very traumatic at the time, but she won't remember it as an adult.

[ktgrok]

We had all of our girls ears pierced when they were infants, before the nerve endings matured but after their 6 month immunizations, not a one even cried. I have only ever allowed earrings that will come undone if pulled on, not the screw backs that are often encouraged for infants, this remains a rule so no hoops until they are older. We haven't had any problems with them. :)

 

what? I've never heard that a 6 month old doesn't have feeling in their earlobes. Where did you get that info?

[Julie Smith]

I just think it is wrong to permanently mutilate a child's body without their consent.

 

I agree.

 

Edited to add. I read the whole thread, and prefer the term body modification to mutilate.

Edited October 11, 2011 by Julie Smith

[momtotkbb]

I voted other because you asked what we had done. Initially we had wanted to have dd's ear pierced as an infant, but she was born with a congestive heart defect so we were advised to wait until she was older to see if the hole in her heart closed. The hole didn't close and dd begged to have her ears pieced around 7 or so --- so her cardiologist gave her antibiotics and we had her ears pieced.

[awisha.]

We had DD's ears pierced for her 5th Birthday. My sister had offered for her 1st bday but I kept saying no, and finally gave in for her 5th. Big mistake. One ear got infected and had to have the earring removed and now DD only has one earring left. She is funny with her ears and won't let us take the other one out. So now we say she is being different (unique) by only having one :)