Piercing baby's ears

[JeneralMom]

I do not believe in doing any kind of elective body modification on anyone who is not mature enough to have a say in it. My children will be welcome to have their ears pierced once they are old enough (as determined by us) and mature enough (also, as determined by us) to make a conscious decision and care for them.

 

I'm sorry but I cringe every time I see little baby girls with pierced ears. The youngest girl with pierced ears in my circle of friends got them done for for her 5th b-day so she could wear the Hello Kitty earrings her g-ma gave her.

[Tap]

I voted 'when they asked' but also when they are mature enough to care for them.

 

DD12 got hers done around age 6. She begged for them for a year or two before I agreed. I didn't want it to be a passing fancy that she let close up a few weeks after they were pierced.

[Mabelen]

I think this is a cultural thing. When dd was about 3 months old, I had her in public in a pink lace dress. A stranger commented "What a cute little boy." I said that she was a girl and the stranger replied, "Well, how was I supposed to know that; her ears aren't pierced!"

 

:iagree: I had the exact same thing happen to me with my oldest in Spain... I asumed our girls would have their ears pierced as infants because it is customary both in my country (Spain) and my dh's (Sri Lanka); however my dh did not want them to have it done so they didn't. My oldest got her ears done around age 10, my youngest has not had them done yet (7). She wants to have them done but she is scared it will hurt.

[Laura Corin]

How many of you moms get your infant's ears pierced? Dh wants us to do it to our newborn. I'm totally against it. He thinks most moms do it to their babies. I say no way.

 

What says the Hive?:bigear:

 

I would not have pierced their ears as babies. They could have them done at sixteen or so if they wanted.

 

Laura

[Deb in NZ]

We let dd get her ears pierced at age 12, the same age I was allowed to pierce my ears.

[Mama2Many4]

I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was 4 mths old. It was much easier for me to care for them and now it's done. She loves getting to pick out which earrings to wear now at almost 3 years old. It was a personal choice for us.

[Mynyel]

I was 5 when my parents let me, I still remember it! I got my second holes at 15 and my third at 18.

 

Dd13 was 6 when she had her done. I told her about it and she still wanted it.

 

Neither one of use really wear earrings though. I actually would like to except I never remember to put them in!

[TravelingChris]

For our family- never. All the kids have/had exczema. At least one of my girls gets keloids. For both those reasons, it would be unadvisable.

[Matryoshka]

I had to wait till I left home to get my ears pierced - my dad was against all piercing.

 

I'm allowing my dds to get them done on their 12th birthdays.

 

That said, I know lots of cultures get their dds ears pierced at birth. If I'd been raised in a culture that did that, I'd probably do it for cultural reasons. I mean, I don't see anything inherently wrong with it. But I wouldn't do it just because.

 

Is your dh from a culture that does this, or does he just think it's cute or something? If it were me, the answer to that would determine how I felt about going along with that request (which might range from yes or a compromise to when she's not a newborn but still fairly young in the former situation, to a heck, no! and waiting till she asks for it in the latter situation).

[firstbreath]

I had both of my dds' ears pierced when they were infants. It was something I saw as getting out of the way, I couldn't imagine them not wanting it when they were older. Also, I thought it was feminine and cute.

 

That said, my ideas have most definitely changed. I would now wait until it was requested by the child.

[Janie Grace]

I waited til dd wanted them done, and we did it on her 10th b-day. It was a really special mom-daughter outing, so I wouldn't want to have missed that by having them done as a baby! Plus I don't like the look of babies w/ earrings, but that's just personal preference, obviously. Also, they are getting stuck for all kinds of things when they're tiny (if you vax) -- I was happy to delay that one! ;)

[Julie Smith]

I had both of my dds' ears pierced when they were infants. It was something I saw as getting out of the way, I couldn't imagine them not wanting it when they were older. Also, I thought it was feminine and cute.

 

That said, my ideas have most definitely changed. I would now wait until it was requested by the child.

 

If you are still following this post, what changed your mind?

[mommymilkies]

I am *completely* against piercing infant ears. Completely. I let my oldest decide when she was 7 because she was desperate to have them done and was very responsible. For me, it's partly age and partly responsibility.

[Imprimis]

I do not believe in doing any kind of elective body modification on anyone who is not mature enough to have a say in it. My children will be welcome to have their ears pierced once they are old enough (as determined by us) and mature enough (also, as determined by us) to make a conscious decision and care for them.

 

 

This sums up my thoughts/feelings on the issue.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Dh is totally against it for our girls before 16. That said, he set a goal for our first dd and she reached it by 8. So it is around 8 for us.

 

I personally don't care. I can remember the lady doing mine. She told me it wouldn't hurt. It did, so I kicked her. One of mine are crooked because of it. She shouldn't have lied.:tongue_smilie:

[PeacefulChaos]

Whenever she asks.

On one hand, I think the little tiny earrings on babies is kind of cute. But I didn't really feel strongly about it one way or another. DH thinks earrings on little tiny babies looks ridiculous (or hideous, depending on what day you ask him :lol: ) so that decided it. :) I wasn't allowed to get mine done til I was like 8, but we're ok with DD getting hers whenever she asks - whether she's 2-3 or 13. Doesn't matter to us.

I find it VERY rare that a woman would not have pierced ears (1 hole per ear), so I'm not really worried about her not liking/not wanting it when she gets older. I don't (well, can't) wear earrings every day because I'm allergic to nickel, therefore most cheap earrings itch and/or hurt my ears if I wear them more than 1-2 days. Sometimes I can get by with Saturday/Sunday, obviously taking them out at night or when I get home. I could probably alleviate the problem by buying more expensive earrings, but its very low on the priority list, so that won't be happening any time soon. ;)

For any further piercing - second hole, cartilage - it would depend on age and maturity. It would definitely have to be in the second half of the teen years. Anything more than that will have to wait til she is 18. I won't sign for any tattoos (though I won't mind if she gets one), or any other body modifications (which I hope will be tasteful, if she does ever want any).

Edited October 11, 2011 by PeacefulChaos

[melissel]

I vote no on doing things to babies that hurt unnecessarily. We waited until our girls were old enough to ask. Yes, it hurt, but they knew that going in and are very proud of themselves. I considered it a life lesson: Yes, some things are painful, but they are still worth doing. (Kinda how I feel about homeschooling! :lol:).

 

Now, DH is Latino and did kind of want to have our girls done when they were infants. But considering how mama bear I was about our babies, he would have had to physically fight me over it. Thankfully, he didn't have a strong opinion about it and was fine to go with my lead. He was there taking pictures the day they got their ears pierced a few months ago :D

[melissel]

When I was little I begged and pleaded to have my ears pierced. When I was seven they finally relented, and my dad took me. I was thrilled to finally have them done but--It hurt, I was miserable...and I was scared to say a word because I had made such a fuss. Because I was scared of more hurting, I would not turn the earrings like I was supposed to...and forget putting that stuff on that SMELLED like it would hurt! My ears ended up infected a lot, until I figured out that if I would just do what I was supposed to...there would not be any hurting at all. I did not want my girls having similar memories.

 

When infants ears are pierced the pain (if any) lasts only a few seconds.

 

I've heard so many people say this about ear piercing (and circumcision, actually). If you don't mind my asking (anyone with insight could answer, really), what makes you think that the pain for infants lasts only seconds when you said yourself that it hurt, that you were miserable, etc.? I can remember the pain of having my ears done, and it hurt badly for most of the rest of the day. I only cried for a minute myself, but that didn't mean the pain was gone. Why would the pain be less for infants?

[Nestof3]

I didn't see a problem with it before, but I think someone here brought up the fact that a person might not want pierced earrings, and I tend to agree with that now. It's too permanent a thing, and I would feel more comfortable waiting until my daughter we old enough to choose on her own. Age? I don't know.

 

BTW, I've had three ear piercings. I let the third (which was on one ear grown over). The other two remained, but I only use one set (hate the other set). It only hurt briefly. I was so ecstatic about having pierced ears, and I was 12 at the first piercing.

[twoforjoy]

Other. It would be some combination of when they ask and an age decided by us. It's not a hill I'd die on, but I also would run out and get my DD's ears pierced when she's 5 just because she might ask.

[SweetandSimple]

My mom had mine done when I was just a few weeks old. (I had no hair and she was tired of people calling me a boy.)

 

Obviously, I don't remember it. I do remember, though, lots of my friends growing up and having battles with their parents and begging to get ear piercings and then only being allowed to wear certain earrings, etc.

 

I always thought it was funny. Since mine were already done, it was never a big deal to me. I never wanted to wear big earrings, etc.

 

I rarely wear earrings, but I will say that it is a good thing that I don't really mind the ear piercings, because I am certain that they will never close up... I can go years without wearing earrings, and the holes are still there.

 

For my own girls, I'm just going to wait and see how things go, but I'd prefer for them to wait at least until age 12 or so.

[Katiebug_1976]

I think this is a decision that should be discussed with the child before it is done. So obviously not as an infant, imho. The child should be able to decide if they want their own ears pierced or not with the guidance from mom & dad as to when they are old enough for it. Just my opinion...:001_smile:

[Ellie]

Dumb question--don't the babies pull on their earrings? I'd be worried that they'd get one out and swallow it!

Neither of my dds messed with their earrings (and their ears were never infected).

[WagsWife]

Originally Posted by Margaret in CO View Post

Dumb question--don't the babies pull on their earrings? I'd be worried that they'd get one out and swallow it!

Neither of my dds messed with their earrings (and their ears were never infected).

 

:iagree: Mine never messed with their earrings either. They were done young enough that they just thought the earrings were part of their ears. However, I never changed their earrings. I bought little gold studs, with safety backs so that they would match anything they wore, and never took them out. Because I did not mess with them, it did not occur to them to mess with them either.

[Diane]

Wow, i'm surprised to see that some would vomit by just looking at my baby girl's pierced ears at 4 months old.

 

Babies are beautiful with or without pierced ears, to each their own. You can say it's a cultural thing for us since we are European...although, obviously, not all Euro families believe in piercing their little one's ears.

 

We pierced my little girl's ears at 4 months, she didn't even cry...she just sat looking at her brother make silly faces. I was breastfeeding at that time, so anytime I would nurse her and change sides, I'd gently turn her earrings. Never had any complications. She has always worn dainty little earrings. For the past year she has been wearing the sweetest little pearls.

[WagsWife]

I've heard so many people say this about ear piercing (and circumcision, actually). If you don't mind my asking (anyone with insight could answer, really), what makes you think that the pain for infants lasts only seconds when you said yourself that it hurt, that you were miserable, etc.? I can remember the pain of having my ears done, and it hurt badly for most of the rest of the day. I only cried for a minute myself, but that didn't mean the pain was gone. Why would the pain be less for infants?

 

Well, I would say that infants do not have the wherewithal (so to speak) to be able to *choose not to fuss if they are uncomfortable. All my babies were extremely fussy when they were teething, I doubt very much that they would be fussy for one kind of pain and not another.

 

My two older girls cried just long enough for me to pick them up and hold them the way they liked. With my third, I nursed her while having her ears done...she never even paused with her sucking. I am not saying that it was pain free, but I am saying that none of them were fussy after having it done, none of them have any kind of painful memory of having it done, and all three of them are very glad to have their ears pierced--without memories of pain and anxiety.

 

It is obviously not for everyone...but it is hardly the mutilation that some people make it out to be.

[lucyfan70]

I think it is cruel to pierce a babies ears. I saw a newborn get her ears pierced at the mall one time and even hours later that poor baby was still crying.

I don't like sleeping in earrings because I think it hurts and I'm sure it hurts a babies ears.

Sorry to all you moms who pierced your babies ears but someone ask and I gave my opinion .

My girls got their ears pierced when they ask!!!

[farouk]

My parents made me wait until I was 10. I was going to do the same with our dd, but when she turned 6 this year she asked if she could have them pierced as her birthday present. Dh and I discussed and decided why not?

 

Some people genuinely would prefer not to have their ears pierced even as adults. My mother in law, my sister's sister in law, and one of my friends from high school all opted to not pierce their ears. I really think that any piercings should be at the discretion of the owner of the body. :001_smile:

 

fairytalemama:

 

Well, it happens. There are still some about who don't do it. A few. (But I wonder how women with unpierced lobes feel about the fact that these days so many have their ears done not once, but 2 or 3 times.)

[farouk]

(oops, a bit old; maybe the thread should be closed; I don't know.)

[zaichiki]

In some cultures or areas of the country, infant ear piercing is extremely common.

:iagree:

[happypamama]

I'm not really a fan of piercing babies' ears, though I understand it's common in some cultures. I generally feel that it should be a person's choice to pierce his/her ears, and I think it should be a choice made when said person is reasonably mature. I was a mature kid, and my parents still made me wait until I was 12, to be sure that a) it was something I really wanted, and b) I could care for them properly. My almost 10yo DD would like to get her ears pierced, but we don't think she's ready yet; I'm tentatively thinking 12ish, but we haven't really decided yet. (I don't really care for the idea of tying it in with the first period, because that can vary so much and seems not quite right for a late bloomer.)

[chepyl]

I have pierced ears, but rarely wear earrings. I teach dance to kids of all ages. I have only had a few preschoolers with pierced ears in the 12 years I have taught. Most get them done between 8&12. I would never pierce a baby's ears. That is just one more thibg to keep clean, my dd was prone to stash and mrsa infections as a baby, constant for two years! A piercing woyld have been one more worry.

[desertmum]

I had my ears pierced as a baby. Then because they got infected my mum took the studs out and the holes closed. Then I went to a shopping centre on my 18th and had my ears re-pierced. I suppose it is easier when you are a baby but it is a hassle to keep children's ears from getting tangled up in blankets and all. BTW I've got my ears pierced but limited to one hole her earlobe (no multi-earrings for me). I have no other piercings or tattoos.