Do You Like Children That Aren't Your Own?

[beaners]

All of the destination house and snack threads have me thinking that I'm a bit unusual. I like children. I even like children that don't belong to me.

 

A few people said that they like having other kids over. Everyone else seems to look at it either with horror or as a necessary evil. I don't mind feeding children (obviously, the budget restriction makes sense). I don't mind the noise and chaos. I don't even mind talking to or playing with children. You want to sit here and give me a blow-by-blow retelling of Pikachu's battle with Spiderman? Go for it.

 

I spent my high school and college summers running preschool playgroups and school-age all-day camps through parks and recreation. I loved it. I find my little house quite dull in comparison. Am I just strange? I see at least a few other people who like having little visitors, but we seem to be in the minority.

[SailorMom]

This sounds horrible, but I like having other kids over for a purely selfish reason... my kids enjoy it. It isn't that I don't like other kids (although they can get annoying sometimes - as can mine), it is more that I can't function normally when they are here.

[The Girls' Mom]

I like SOME other kids...lol. If they have some sense of respect for other people, then I'm good :) and I love having them at my house. If they don't, my patience dwindles rapidly and the odds of them being invited over again also dwindles.

[lailasmum]

No I don't really like other people's children, just maybe the odd one I have got to know and have a close relationship with, but other than that I don't really want to spend time around other people's children. Having said that I don't feel the need to get annoyed with people with screaming children in restaurants or whatever, that's just part of life and I am understanding. I just don't want to listen to other people's kids recount hours of something they are interested in or be forced to play with them.

[Haiku]

It depends on the kid, honestly. I like nice kids. I don't like mean, bratty, annoying kids. If you come to my house and whine, I don't really like you.

 

I really like my dd's boyfriend. He's 16, so I guess he's not really a "kid," but he is polite and friendly and has a good sense of humor. If he weren't my dd's boyfriend, I would probably be friends with him. (As he is my dd's boyfriend, he needs to fear me a bit. ;) )

 

ETA: One thing I really like about dd's boyfriend is that when he screws up, like coming home late for curfew, his aunt and uncle impose consequences. I dig that quite a bit. :D

 

Tara

Edited May 19, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator

[mama2cntrykids]

Most of the time. Very rarely do I run into a kid that rubs me the wrong way. In fact, I feel very drawn to Children's Ministry in the church, but it's not the right time in my life.

[DaffodilDreams]

It depends on the kid. I genuinely like most of the kids I've met, but there are a few I just don't like.

[Mejane]

I'm not really a little kid person. I like older kids if they're well-behaved. I do like several of my kids' friends. They've become interesting people now. :001_smile:

[kalanamak]

Honestly, I'm not much of a kid person. I love my own kids and I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't really enjoy other people's kids. I hope that doesn't sound horrible.

 

I didn't like kids until I was older. However, I don't think being 8 means I have to put up with your rudeness. I've met some mean customers who are only 8, and I am blunt with them.

[Prairie~Phlox]

No, I really don't like other kids. Mine are fine, but Others usually annoy me.

[mom2l&j]

I have come to the realization that I'm not really a kid person. I love my kids but most other kids annoy me. There is the rare child that is kind, quiet, well mannered and respectful that I don't mind being around. My kids don't necessarily meet those standards but they're mine.:glare: I have one friend that I now avoid because of her kids.

 

ETA: I also have a "friend" that I don't really care for but I'm willing to spend more time with her because her kids are great.

Edited May 19, 2011 by mom2l&j

[missiemick]

I used to love other people's children -- I was a teacher and would absolutely fall in love with the children in my class. Now that I have my own children, I find that I don't like most other children. There are a few that I like -- but they're the rare few with really good manners. I don't know why the change.

[regentrude]

I like having my children's friends over because it makes me happy that my kids have friends.

 

I do not like children per se, never felt the urge to babysit and do not enjoy being surrounded by kids other than my own.

 

But I am genuinely happy to host and feed my kids' friends, because it makes my own kids happy to have company.

And their friends are pretty nice, actually.

[amy g.]

I'm CRAZY about some kids that are not my own. I love smart, interesting, kind, well-behaved children.

 

Children who are bullies, or talk back, or are destructive...not so much.

 

We were at the park one day, and I was struck by the fact that the kids who were grabbing, intruding and generally trying to ruin the day for other families were the kids whose parents were sitting in their cars, or talking to there friends.

 

The parents who were playing catch, pushing swings, talking, INTERACTING with their children had kids who were a joy to be around, and fun to play with.

 

I know that some people on this board favor more hands-off parenting, but maybe it is like preferences in food choices, and different people just like different things.

 

Personally, I really enjoy children who have been raised with a large amount of adult attention, conversation and investment.

[Sevilla]

I genuinely enjoy other people's children and like talking with them. Reading the "destination house" thread made me look forward to the time when my kids are older. I've got a lot of energy though, and I don't mind chaos (and I feel comfortable enforcing house rules with others and being upfront about that, so I don't worry about boundaries being walked on by others' kids).

[happyWImom]

I do like other people's children, too. I am fascinated by all of the different personalities, and even the ones who aren't the best behaved, I am sometimes drawn to. I feel badly for them, because I know the behavior has a reason, and it's usually not just personality based.

 

I think there are some people that have this affinity for children for a reason. I think God gave me this gift so that I can use it, and so I am involved in Sunday School, VBS, and things like that.

 

My mom, however, doesn't like any kids except her grandkids!:D When we go places, I'll see other kids & say "Oh, aren't they cute, isn't that funny, etc...", and she will just look at me like I have 2 heads.

[KS_]

All of the destination house and snack threads have me thinking that I'm a bit unusual. I like children. I even like children that don't belong to me.

 

A few people said that they like having other kids over. Everyone else seems to look at it either with horror or as a necessary evil. I don't mind feeding children (obviously, the budget restriction makes sense). I don't mind the noise and chaos. I don't even mind talking to or playing with children. You want to sit here and give me a blow-by-blow retelling of Pikachu's battle with Spiderman? Go for it.

 

 

 

I don't like other children in a broad/general sense - I'm introverted and only have a certain amount of social energy (and much of that is taken up by my kids, whom I do like :)). I don't like other children in groups, or being around children in groups (I used to try to help out with VBS at our church, but ended up with migraines *every* year that week, and decided that that was just not my gifting!). However, if I get to know a specific child, I may like them quite well (and there are those I didn't like after getting to know them).

 

I'm one of those moms who don't let the neighborhood kids come over inside the house, or in the backyard. They're more than welcome to stay out front and play, but that's it.

[lmrich]

I like kids. I like their energy. I like some kids more than others. I tend to be most comfortable around my girls' friends; I just don't get my teenage boy's friends.

[Desert Rat]

It's like adults. I like some, not others. I like most of the children in my life right now. There are a few I could do without. I like children in small groups of 2 or 3 (siblings excluded). Huge groups? Not so much. I don't like the pack mentality.

[Perry]

In general, I like kids, but I am not comfortable with them. My only sibling is 10 years younger than me, so I wasn't around kids much when I was growing up. I'm also an introvert, and I like peace and quiet, so being around kids makes me stressed. But I don't dislike them.

 

Although there are some kids that I don't like at all.

[funmamacita]

I feel about other people's children the way I feel about other people in general: If they are interesting, curious, mostly polite and open minded, I usually like them. If they are annoying, dull (to me), unpleasant, bossy or ill-mannered, I generally don't. (And honestly, while I love my own children all the time, I can't say that I like them all that much when they are annoying, dull (to me), unpleasant, bossy or ill-mannered either!)

[Cassy]

Some are OK, but mostly my own kids are so wonderfully gorgeous that other kids just seem dull and annoying in comparison :D. Seriously though, I'm not that keen on 'people' in general, kids included.

[sleepymommy]

For me it depends on the kid. Some kids I adore and love having at my house. Others, not so much.

 

I don't mind feeding other kids at all, but they usually don't like what I have to offer. We don't do gluten, dairy or soy so most of the usual snacks that kids are used to, will not be in my house. I always have plenty of fruit available, nuts of all kinds, toasted seaweed, and sometimes some GF/DF/SF cookies.

 

I'd say I'm not really a kid-person, but some kids are the exceptions.

[Jenny in Florida]

Kids are just people, as far as I'm concerned. I like some of them, and I don't like others.

 

I've never related well to very young children. I tend to start liking them more when they get to be four or five. And I often really like young teens.

 

I always said I didn't like children, except for my own. Over the years, though, as my kids have made friends and brought them into our lives, I've discovered a few whose company I enjoy.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I suppose if I only had 1 or 2 dc it wouldn't be as stressful to have other people's kids over here. There are times that I have my 5 plus another 5 or 6 kids wanting to hang out. :willy_nilly: That's a lot of noise! Having lots of other people's kids in my home makes me nervous because I feel I have to be super vigilant. I feel I have to make sure they are all getting along, having fun, staying out of things and places that they shouldn't be into, and that my dc aren't being rude or mean (not that they do). It really wears me out, especially the kids who are loud, don't stick with anything for more than 5 minutes, and want to spend most of their time trying to talk my ear off.

 

 

I completely understand and respect those who say that they don't like other people's kids though. My mom has a very low tolerance for anyone else's kids other than her own grandkids. It isn't because she is mean or uncaring...she just isn't a kid person. They make her nervous and on edge. I think it is very narrow minded to assume that everyone should love children. (Not speaking of anyone who has posted on here so far.;))

[fairfarmhand]

I love my own kids, and I really like some kids that belong to a few of my friends. But I do not necessarily like ALL children because they are children.

 

Some kids get on my nerves, mostly because they are ill-behaved and have poor manners.

 

I like kids that are well behaved and polite.

 

I have certain families that I enjoy having over, even though they are large families because the kids are neat and they play well with mine.

Edited May 19, 2011 by fairfarmhand

[Night Elf]

I love children of all ages. I can handle a room of toddlers or a room of teenagers without batting an eye. I just seem to relate well to young people and have had a fair share of teens talk to me about issues like I'm their mom. Several of dd19's friends call me 'Mom'. I think young people are absolutely fantastic and I never get tired of being around them.

[Cheryl in NM]

I haven't read beyond the first post so please forgive me if the thread has morphed to something else by now. :D

 

For me, part of it is social anxiety. I was always unsure of myself as a child, still am as an adult. I dread meeting new people or going out with people that I've only met a few times. I just don't know what to say or how to respond to what's said. It seems that I always commit some faux paw or put my foot in my mouth. I've felt that way as long as I can remember. Then I come home or get some alone time and drown in the shame and humiliation. How does that apply to kids? Well, I never know how to respond to their questions and don't want to listen to their stories. When it's teenagers, I feel like they are judging me and find me lacking. Just like when I was a teen and was too weird or wasn't good enough. So there's the whole ugly story!

 

I've also noticed that most of the kids ds runs across are rude and greedy, much like the ones described in the snack thread. There was one little girl that was spending the night, she was 5, and forgot her toothbrush. She was a fanatic about brushing her teeth. Well, I didn't have an extra and told her she could use ds's. I was in my bathroom and came back out to see her using a toothbrush that I used for cleaning! She had searched my house, climbed up onto something in the laundry room to get the toothbrush! I used that toothbrush for gross stuff and used heavy duty cleaners! Thankfully, she didn't get sick. But all I could think was "how rude!" I've also had kids argue with me when I say they can't do something or can't have a snack or whatever. When I've told them they can go home, across the street, for a snack, they stand there and stare at me. I want to shoo them and say, "go, go one home now, boy!" :tongue_smilie:

 

Anyway, now ds has a better caliber of friend and I don't mind them coming over a bit. If they are rude, they aren't invited back, it's that simple. I have enough to worry about with my kid. That said, I wish I had the big heart that many of you have to include other's children as they are your own. It's just not in me. After raising 2 step kids that hated me and made my life h*ll, I am used up.

[specialmama]

I love kids of all ages in the sense that I'd risk my life to help any of them. I can look in the eyes of a stranger's child and my heart swells with love for them. I don't have all sorts of kids in my home though, just a select few because our life is crazy busy with therapy and appointments and necessary routines for my boy. But love other kids? Absolutely and fiercely, just like my own.

[CalicoKat]

nope.

:auto:

[shinyhappypeople]

I like kids fine, as long as they're not mean. I don't *love* having more than one or two extra kids in my house, though. They are very enthusiastic in their play and it gets very, very loud. Weather permitting, I usually kick them outside. According the the neighborhood kids we have an awesome backyard so I don't feel terribly guilty about it.

 

We're putting in a drinking fountain and I plan to put a big bowl of inexpensive snacks out (popcorn, whatever), so they'll be able to have fun and I'll be able to have my quiet house. Win-win! :D

[5LittleMonkeys]

nope.

:auto:

:lol:Blunt and to the point. I love it!

 

You know what is sad though? That you feel you have to make a quick getta-way after saying you don't like kids. Why is it in our society...well at least in my experience...that people who don't like kids are thought to be wrong in some way? I don't get it.

[4wildberrys]

All of the destination house and snack threads have me thinking that I'm a bit unusual. I like children. I even like children that don't belong to me.

 

A few people said that they like having other kids over. Everyone else seems to look at it either with horror or as a necessary evil. I don't mind feeding children (obviously, the budget restriction makes sense). I don't mind the noise and chaos. I don't even mind talking to or playing with children. You want to sit here and give me a blow-by-blow retelling of Pikachu's battle with Spiderman? Go for it.

 

I spent my high school and college summers running preschool playgroups and school-age all-day camps through parks and recreation. I loved it. I find my little house quite dull in comparison. Am I just strange? I see at least a few other people who like having little visitors, but we seem to be in the minority.

 

I feel the same way now. Really. Kids are fun and exciting to be around and listen to. Bratty, whiny kids can rub me the wrong way---along with precocious stuck up ones. But for the most part---since having my own kids I find life more exciting with a houseful, especially since we only have 2.

 

I did NOT like kids or babysitting or anything to do with kids growing up though. It's only something that I have acquired since having my own ;)

[texasmama]

Honestly, I'm not much of a kid person. I love my own kids and I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't really enjoy other people's kids. I hope that doesn't sound horrible.

 

This is me so if you are horrible, we can both be horrible. ;)

 

I find it ironic because my career (psychotherapist) has focused on working with other people's kids. I have specialized in kids, adolescents and family therapy for about 20 years. Ironic. I really like and enjoy my clients (the vast majority of them), but that is a completely different dynamic.

[4wildberrys]

:lol:Blunt and to the point. I love it!

 

You know what is sad though? That you feel you have to make a quick getta-way after saying you don't like kids. Why is it in our society...well at least in my experience...that people who don't like kids are thought to be wrong in some way? I don't get it.

 

I'll be brave and answer this since deep down, the honesty of answering 'No' honestly does kind of bother me. Maybe it's sort of 'taboo' because children are the vulnerable members of society and need adult protection and guidance. And if adults don't actually 'like' children, would they be willing to help a hurt, lost, hungry etc. child? Would that dislike of children cause an adult to miss a kid needing food for a diabetic sugar low and mistake it for greed? I guess I just always imagine my kids going to someone's house and the thought that the adults don't like other kids---including mine----kind of leaves me feeling weird. :001_huh:

[kamom]

I really like and enjoy kids:001_smile: I like teaching kids. I like hanging out with my nephews and nieces. I especially enjoy talking to kids. There is nothing quite as entertaining.:001_smile:

[KrissiK]

Not really. Not little kids. I used to teach junior high, and I enjoyed teaching that age. I love it, really. But as far as the neighbor kids at our house.... no. They're good kids, mostly. But I can't handle chaos and mess and kids not knowing our rules about not hanging things from the ceiling fans and jumping off the top bunks. It's all I can do to smile and be a nice mama and bring out some lemonade for the bunch occasionally as they're playing out in the street on a hot summer day.

 

I was thinking about what wildberry said (I can't figure out how to quote in edit mode) and I'm not sure that I'd equate "not liking children" to "disliking children". I mean, I can't stand the neighbor girls down the street. They're 8 years old going on 16 and the drama drama drama, plus they treat my kids like dirt. However, with that being said, I would never stand for them to be mistreated or hurt and I would protect them. It's the mom in me.

Edited May 19, 2011 by KrissiK

[joannqn]

Honestly, I'm not much of a kid person. I love my own kids and I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't really enjoy other people's kids. I hope that doesn't sound horrible.

:iagree:

 

But I would like my house to be a destination house for several reasons; I just don't see it happening.

 

The kids in our last neighborhood seemed to think our house is too boring. One kid had a trampoline and they'd put the sprinkler under it during the summer; that was the destination house (or at least the front lawn). Another house had enough Legos for everyone, tons of other toys, and grandma gave out snacks and juice boxes to everyone. We just couldn't compete because we don't have big toys, lots of toys, or lots of snacks. We also have more rules, and they didn't seem to like that either.

 

We've only briefly met a couple of kids in the local neighborhood. We're hoping we'll find friends once school is out.

[Harriet Vane]

I'm with you. I enjoy children, including those who are not my own. I'm happy to have other people's children over.

[Daisy]

I like children. I just don't like supervising them. I don't want to deal with squabbles and potties and snacks... And I really don't want to sit and listen to the neighbor woman tell me her latest...whatever. That's the honest truth.

 

My husband is a first grade public school teacher with 30+ students. He loves kids, but when he gets home he wants a break. However, he is more likely than I am to go sit and talk with the neighbor guy while the kids all ride bikes up and down the street.

 

Our kids play with the neighborhood kids but everyone stays in the front yards. That makes it easy for them to run home for whatever they need.

[May]

I love children who are polite and well mannered. My dds have made good choices through the years and I'd say there were just a few that I didn't like.

[LaissezFaire]

Generally no. Occasionally someone will sneak in and steal my heart but for the most part I don't enjoy other people's kids. I have a solid bond with several teens in our town though. I worked with them in a drama program and we bonded.

[mrsrevmeg]

I really do not care for other people's kids. I have to fight the urge sometimes to tell people in public to control their young. Children who come to my house are treated kindly and are loved. I don't want to sound like the mean old lady who yells at kids for being on her grass or anything. But if I had it my way, the only kids I would ever have to be around are my own. (Or at least they would act my own :rolleyes:)

[Diana B]

I love kids. I always have - even when I was a kid I had a thing for the younger kids! It runs in my family - or so we say. My grandma and my mom are both kid lovers as well (especially the babies, it drives me nuts shopping with my mom because she'll stop and chat with any lady who has a child 3 and under). My mom ran a daycare when I was ages 9-11, and then I morphed right into babysitting.

 

Because we need the extra income, I've worked as a nanny for the last 4 years. But I love it. I'd prefer to be home and not work - but if I have to work I'm glad I'm working with kids!

 

There are some annoying kids that I can't stand too much - just as there are some annoying adults I can't stand too much. I very rarely run into bullies or very disrespectful kids. Probably because we don't have random neighbor kids - so I know all the parents of the kids I know.

 

But I think kids are fun & funny. It's amazing to see their thought processes. And their energy! Oy! They tire me out, but they are fun!

[myfunnybunch]

Yes. :)

 

I really do enjoy young people. I chaperoned my ds' choir trip yesterday and had a fabulous time with my group because they were so much fun.

 

I think part of the reason I don't mind other people's kids is because I don't mind correcting them (gently) when they are rude, whiny, pushy, etc. Usually I am nicer about it than I am with my own kids, but I don't usually feel trapped by negative behavior. (Example: Yesterday, one little girl started whining about wanting to play bumper boats instead of mini golf, which the group had chosen. I I told her, 'Remember when you told me your family likes to play the Quiet game? Let's play the No Complaining game, and see if we can all get through the course wihtout complaining." She giggled. Not a peep after that. ;) ) How else are they supposed to learn to be good guests when their parents aren't around? LOL, of course, this means that I always get one or two of the challenging kids when we go on field trips.

 

Cat

[Impish]

Generally speaking, no, I don't enjoy opk. (Other Ppl's Kids). There are definate exceptions...SpecialMama's kiddos are wonderful, for example.

 

I think a chunk of it, for me, is that I find many children ill behaved. That's exhausting to deal with for me. I'm not talking little things, I'm talking cursing, bullying, etc. I don't enjoy having to work that hard. I have my own kids to raise, and constantly having to ride herd to make sure that nobody's picking on the Littles, etc is just not what I want to be doing.

 

Since Diva's friends are her age, 12 - 13, I don't feel I should *have* to be constantly supervising to ensure they're not being rotten, they should know how to behave at that age, at least to the extent of not tormenting little kids...hence why a number of kids in the neighbourhood are no longer welcome here.

[misidawnrn]

Honestly, I'm not much of a kid person. I love my own kids and I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't really enjoy other people's kids. I hope that doesn't sound horrible.

 

This is me! I always say " I am not a very good Kool-Aid mom"...you know, serving kool-aid to the masses of kids running all around with a smile on my face....bah humbug.

I regularly have my 2 nieces ages 2 and 9 over and they are fine but when it's time for them to go home, it' time! My nieces are the "can I have a snack?" constantly kind but my sister lets them graze. I don't let my kids graze all day. We don't have ANY kids in our neighborhood except one teenage boy who lives next door. He is very special needs and I have tried to talk to him and he runs back in the house. He obviously isn't going to play at our house so we don't have hoards of kids over. We move to our new house tomorrow and I guess there is a few children across the street. I am actually kind of happy that my DD's will have a few friends but I don't want 10 kids over.

 

I also HATE HATE HATE noise. I hate whistling and screaming. I have always hated it. My 7yo is always making some sort of vocalization and I have to tell her to "talk in your own head, not in mine." Even when I was a kid, I didn't like it and I was the oldest of 5 kids. I remember spending a lot of time in my room, alone, so I didn't have to hear it. Even the TV has it's limits when it is just on for background noise and nobody is watching it. DH is famous for that. I click it off.

[beaners]

:lol:Blunt and to the point. I love it!

 

You know what is sad though? That you feel you have to make a quick getta-way after saying you don't like kids. Why is it in our society...well at least in my experience...that people who don't like kids are thought to be wrong in some way? I don't get it.

 

And those of us on the other side get funny looks when we say that we really do like children. :001_smile: I don't mind if other people don't enjoy children as much as I do. I feel like the odd one!

[TravelingChris]

With me, it is just like adults- I like some, don't mind others, and some I dislike.

[Caitilin]

I like other people's babies and toddlers, and I like other people's teens. Babies and toddlers are cute and funny, and teenagers are finally interesting people. I don't do well with elementary age kiddos.:001_huh: