Sun Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Our neighbors were recently out of town for a week. We watched their house and took care of their pets while they were gone. This involved feeding the cats a couple of times a day, cleaning the litter box a few times during the week, and walking and feeding the dog. We didn't mind doing it; in fact, ds is sad that the week is over because he already misses walking the dog. After they returned, they brought over a bottle of wine to thank us. While it was certainly not necessary, we did appreciate that. The problem is that after they left from dropping the wine off, we found a $50 gift card in the bag as well. DH and I both feel uncomfortable accepting the gift card, and we are contemplating whether it would be rude to return it with an explanation of how we appreciated the chance to help out and we enjoyed walking the dog. Would it be rude to return the gift card? If you would feel OK about returning it, how would you go about it? What would you say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcurry Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is not excessive to know that your pets are taken care of for a week (several times/day). That's less than $10/day. They wanted their peace of mind and felt it was worth it. It wasn't excessive for them. To return it, would be awkward at best for them. They want to give it to you. This is their gift to you. You need to think of them and accept it, and be appreciative. This will ensure neither side is resentful for if they want to ask you to take care of the pets again. They want to make sure you don't feel taken advantage of. That's a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 If you take do it again you can negotiate terms in the beginning but it's really nice to have someone you can trust take care of your pets. I'm sure they would rather pay you than have them boarded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Could you give it back and explain that you really enjoyed their pets, and it was no hardship. You'd like to ask them to watch your animals/house-sit when you go on vacation, and you're sure it would all even out in the end. You just wouldn't feel right taking payment for being neighborly. $50 is a LOT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I don't think it would be rude to return it necessarily, but if you were my neighbor and had taken care of my animals for a week, I would want to give you a gift in return. In fact, one of our neighbors, a 9 year old little girl, is going to come by after school every day when we go on vacation next month to feed our chickens and goats (fil takes care of feeding cats and dogs). We are planning to pay her $5 per day. It just seems like the right thing to do because we really appreciate her hard work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 They want to give it to you. I would accept it. You can tell them thank you and that it wasn't necessary. But they want to give it to you. I don't even want to say how much we pay for a pet sitter to come to our house 3x per day while we are gone. A week of being gone costs us way more than $50. Don't feel like they are giving an inappropriately large thank you gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) I would return it, and say you really enjoyed the wine, but the gift card is unnecessary, what goes around comes around. Of course, that would have been easier to do if you had seen the card immediately. The flip side is that 1) by paying you they may feel like they can ask you to do it more often without imposing, which it sounds like both of you would be OK with, 2) they may not want to feel obligated to return the favor in the future, so by giving the $ they may feel like you're all even at this point. Don't feel like they are giving an inappropriately large thank you gift. I absolutely agree. When I had pets (10 or so years ago) I paid $12 per day for a professional sitter, so the money they gave you is not out of line with that, and probably quite a bit less than they would have had to pay a professional, and *way* less than it would have cost to board the pets at the vet. In other words, it's a lot of money, but reasonable for what you did for them. Edited April 27, 2011 by askPauline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Keep it. I cherish when I have a neighbor watch my animals (who I love) and would want to thank them. If you don't take the gift, they may think you don't want to be asked again. Have your daughter tell them how much she enjoyed playing and walking the dog. Could she be a dog walker for free for them to build her own business? I have had my middle daughter do this as a mother's helper - do it for free in exchange for references and experience. Just a thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Do not give it back. First, $50 is a very reasonable price for the service. They are probably hoping you will be willing to do this again. Second, they chose to give you the gift card. You did not ask for it, giving it back will make them uncomfortable and reluctant to ask you to help next time. Third, if you really don't want to be paid, then NEXT TIME tell them you appreciated the wine but no other payment is needed. Do not change the arrangement for the service already provided. Sounds like you have great neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 It would cost much more than that to board a dog at a kennel. I would not try to give it back...maybe just say it wasn't necessary and that you're family enjoyed their pets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 In accepting a gift you honor the giver.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Do not give it back. First, $50 is a very reasonable price for the service. They are probably hoping you will be willing to do this again. Second, they chose to give you the gift card. You did not ask for it, giving it back will make them uncomfortable and reluctant to ask you to help next time. Third, if you really don't want to be paid, then NEXT TIME tell them you appreciated the wine but no other payment is needed. Do not change the arrangement for the service already provided. Sounds like you have great neighbors. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Could you give it back and explain that you really enjoyed their pets, and it was no hardship. You'd like to ask them to watch your animals/house-sit when you go on vacation, and you're sure it would all even out in the end. You just wouldn't feel right taking payment for being neighborly. $50 is a LOT! They may not want to reciprocate for whatever reason and would rather pay the "debt" with a gift card. I had a friend who homeschooled and also worked one day a week. Every once in a while she would ask me to babysit. Her kids were older and super great kids. I was totally happy to do it for free, because that's what friends do. However, she insisted on paying me quite nicely. She said her schedule was crazy and she couldn't reciprocate and since she was leaving her kids with me so she could make money I might as well make some money too. So I happily took the money and also the "hint" to please not ask her to babysit my kids. I wasn't upset at all about that. She was very honest about her situation and it was a win-win for both of us because money does come in handy. ;) I would keep the gift card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is a huge bargain for a week of petsitting. If it were me, I might feel uncomfortable asking you again if I weren't able to give you a thank you gift; I'd feel like I was taking advantage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Don't return it!! I'd just thank them profusely. Nice neighbors! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is a huge bargain for a week of petsitting. If it were me, I might feel uncomfortable asking you again if I weren't able to give you a thank you gift; I'd feel like I was taking advantage. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 You did them a huge favor and they want to say thank you. Let them. As prior poster said, you can of course thank them and say it wasn't necessary, but insisting on giving it back is going to come across as odd, and possibly a bit stand-offish (by implying that their gift was inappropriate). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Don't return it!! I'd just thank them profusely. Nice neighbors! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Don't return it. Please. Finding someone to care for our animals has been a real chore at times. People either don't do it when they said they would, or they end up backing out at the last minute, or some other inconvenience. Even though I know your family was doing this to be a good neighbor, just accept the gift. Let them bless you. Let them show you thanks. Let them be grateful. It makes it hard for them to be a cheerful giver when you are an unappreciative receiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I don't think it's excessive. A sitting service would charge way more. Take the gift graciously and pay it forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 10 years ago I paid 15.00-20.00 a day to have a pet sitter come while we were out of town. It's really hard to find someone you trust with your pets. I would accept the gift card. If you don't want it, regift it to someone in need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Don't return it. Please. Finding someone to care for our animals has been a real chore at times. People either don't do it when they said they would, or they end up backing out at the last minute, or some other inconvenience. Even though I know your family was doing this to be a good neighbor, just accept the gift. Let them bless you. Let them show you thanks. Let them be grateful. It makes it hard for them to be a cheerful giver when you are an unappreciative receiver. :iagree: Please don't return it. I'm sure your neighbors were so happy to have someone they trusted take care of their pets and their home. Their pets were able to stay in the home (instead of being boarded) and they were able to save some money, too. We pay over $20 a day just to board one dog, so it is quite expensive to board animals. $50 is a nice gift, but not so much that it should make you uncomfortable, IMO. Write a nice thank you card, mention that the gift was thoughtful but not necessary. If they ask you to take care of things again, you can talk about this beforehand if you really don't want them to give you something. This time, just be gracious and accept the gift. I think it was very nice of them to do that for you. And they are lucky to have such nice neighbors!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that the gift card was somewhat hidden seems to indicate that they didn't want you to be able to hand it back to them. I'd say that the gracious thing to do would be to keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satori Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Can you live next to us? We pay $30 a day ($15 per visit) for two visits for our pets. A week for us means that we'd have to pay over $200 in cash to our pet sitter. $50 gift card would be a steal. Don't return it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carrie_irene Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I was the token MAYBE. We and our neighbors have a similar relationship...we have both watched each other's pets over the years. So there is no obligation either way. I would take it....UNLESS I knew finances were really tough for them or the reason they left town was something not related to pleasure...a funeral, for example. But other than that, I have been learning that depriving people the opportunity to express THEIR gratitude can be seen as prideful and selfish, even when that is not your heart's intent. How blessed they are to have neighbors like you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is not excessive to know that your pets are taken care of for a week (several times/day). That's less than $10/day. They wanted their peace of mind and felt it was worth it. It wasn't excessive for them. To return it, would be awkward at best for them. They want to give it to you. This is their gift to you. You need to think of them and accept it, and be appreciative. This will ensure neither side is resentful for if they want to ask you to take care of the pets again. They want to make sure you don't feel taken advantage of. That's a good thing. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Keep it. It's a sign of their appreciation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I routinely do this for people who do this sort of thing for us. It's such a relief knowing that our pets get to stay in their own environment and are cared for. And you've saved them a lot of money, too. If I have to hire the professional petsitter, it's 10 dollars every time she comes, which is 3-4 times per day. Enjoy the gift certificate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 They gave it to you because they were so appreciative of the care you took with their pet. Honestly, this is a mere fraction of what they would have paid to have their dogs and cats boarded or have a professional come in to take care of them. Our kennel charges $30/day per dog. I don't know how much cats are (don't have any), but let's say $15. Say they have two dogs and two cats - they'd be looking at approximately $630 for a week, even more if they had someone come in to do it. I definitely think you should keep the gift card! If you return it, they possibly wouldn't ask you to do it again because they might feel like they were taking advantage of your kindness. If it were me, that's how I'd feel. Enjoy your gift card - and your wine!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Boarding the animals would cost maybe $50 a DAY. As a family we tend to tip delivery people, give gift cards to piano teachers and sports coaches, etc. I've never had a gift card or tip refused, and I can't imagine it would be a great feeling if it happened. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think it would be incredibly rude to return the card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I agree with the others about: 1. It's not an inappropriate gift. It's a thank you for a service that would have otherwise cost them a great deal of money, and they are likely extremely grateful and want to show their appreciation. FWIW, we're going to be boarding our 2 dogs soon. It's going to cost $55/day. When we had cats and hired a professional pet sitter to come to our house, we paid $40/day. 2. They purposefully did not tell you about the card because they didn't want to call attention to it. They probably didn't want to make you uncomfortable but they felt really strongly about wanting to do something for you. I would call and thank them for the rest of the gift they brought over. Tell them it was really a lovely thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I didn't read the other replies and for some reason I couldn't vote. I would've voted OTHER It would be appropriate to return it, thank them and let them know you are friends and that $50 is too much. It sets a precedence of friendship for now and for later. However if you don't really want to be give-and-take friends with them, keep the gift card and write a thank you note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Why not keep the gift card and donate it to an animal hospital or rescue organization? Then send them a thank you and say that you so much appreciated their generosity and that you forwarded it on to X organization. I think it would make them very happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Rittenhouse Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 No, you should keep the gift. It's not over the line in terms of the service that you gave the family. Honestly, my 6yo son got more for taking in the paper and mail, feeding fish in koi pond and skimming the leaves out of a inground pool for a neighbor's vacation. The family was grateful that the house and pool were being taken care of while they were on vacation. The wine was for the adults in the family and use all or part of that gift card on the kids....perhaps some new outdoor play equipment such as new soccer balls or baseball gloves ect... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think it would be incredibly rude to return the card. :iagree: I would feel it was a slap in the face if it was refused or given to someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is a LOT! For the assurance your doggie wasn't crying its eyes out at a kennel for $100? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 You should keep the gift card. Would you have given back the bottle of wine? Would you have given back a card of thanks? The gift card is just the same as those things. They want to thank you, in a tangible way, for having done something for them. The value on the gift card is irrelevant in this argument. It would not only be rude to give it back, it would be hurtful. I know my feelings would be hurt if someone gave me back a gift I sincerely gave to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 The fact that the gift card was somewhat hidden seems to indicate that they didn't want you to be able to hand it back to them. I'd say that the gracious thing to do would be to keep it. I agree. I suspect they had an inkling that they knew you would think it was over the top. I have a friend who offers herself as a babysitter and another who offers professional photography services to me and some other friends for free. Rather than feel like I'm taking advantage of them, though, I try to find a way to slip them gift cards at random times. I would write a very kind thank-you note and maybe deliver it with a small token of gratitude... cookies or something else homemade and simple. And enjoy the gift card! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 keep it! It would be awkward and uncomfortable to return it. You did a lovely thing for them and $50 is not an excessive amount for a thank you at all. I would pay way more than that to know my dog was well taken care of and happy at home. A kennel would be much more expensive and less trustworthy in many cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skissugar Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I always give a gift when someone watches our pets.. i would find it rude for them to return it.. it costs a LOT to board animals, especially if there is more than one to board.. it is their way of saying thank you ... enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachGirl Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 My daughter watched our neighbors cat for 11 weeks while she was on the East Coast taking care of her ill mother. She didn't receive a dime for it. While it would have been nice to receive some kind of acknowledgement, she didn't expect payment and loved taking care of the cat. We both enjoyed taking care of the cat. Enjoy the gift card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 You feel bad about $50? After dd had a (very bad) accident at someone's house they sent me a cheque for $1000. I returned the cheque, but I felt horrible. Honestly, my distress about the cheque was worse than my distress at dd's injury. I did consider donating the money and informing the sender, but the amount was just too great. In your case, it would simply be easier to accept the gift card. I would follow it up with a note thanking them, saying it wasn't necessary, and letting them know what you purchased - "Thanks to your generosity we were all able to enjoy ... ". If it really bothers you, consider donating the gift card and letting the neighbours know - "Thanks to your generosity we were able to support a cause close to our heart by ...". With the latter approach they will get the message that the gift card was excessive, but hopefully still feel that it was appreciated. Were your kids involved in the care of the animals? I wonder if the gift card wasn't intended as thanks to them, as I imagine they won't be participating in the wine! Nikki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think you should keep the gift card because otherwise they may not feel they can ask you do help them out in the future. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 You saved them a TON of money. They want to reward you for being such a good neighbor! I can understand wanting to help and not getting paid or gifted, but you would make them feel bad if you return the gift card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 It's expensive to have your dog/cat/pet boarded for a week!! I mean really expensive. To have someone close by do it must have been a true Godsend for them. I'd accept it gratefully and if they ask you to do it again say, "Sure we'll do it again, but please don't feel the need to pay us. We honestly love doing this!" That way they know you're willing to do it even if they can't afford it, and the option to show their gratitude is left up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Well we just paid the neighbor boy $25 for feeding the fish twice per day and grabbing the mail for a week. $50 for a dog and cats sounds fine to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Do not give it back. First, $50 is a very reasonable price for the service. They are probably hoping you will be willing to do this again. Second, they chose to give you the gift card. You did not ask for it, giving it back will make them uncomfortable and reluctant to ask you to help next time. Third, if you really don't want to be paid, then NEXT TIME tell them you appreciated the wine but no other payment is needed. Do not change the arrangement for the service already provided. Sounds like you have great neighbors. All of this. If I gave you a gift card as a thank you and you returned it, I would think that you probably didn't ever want to do this again (even if you said you did). Basically, it would make everything seem weird to me and I wouldn't quite know how to take it, so I would strongly consider avoiding asking for your help in future. Plus, if you try to give it back they're going to try to get you to keep it, and you're going to go back and forth on that a few times until someone caves and everyone feels awkward. Returning gifts is just not an easy thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Oh, I do think it would be fine to let them know you saw the giftcard after the fact and that it is much appreciated, but entirely unnecessary. So basically, set yourself up for being clear about not needing any sort of gift for doing this for them. But no, don't try to give it back to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 $50 is not excessive to know that your pets are taken care of for a week (several times/day). That's less than $10/day. They wanted their peace of mind and felt it was worth it. It wasn't excessive for them. To return it, would be awkward at best for them. They want to give it to you. This is their gift to you. You need to think of them and accept it, and be appreciative. This will ensure neither side is resentful for if they want to ask you to take care of the pets again. They want to make sure you don't feel taken advantage of. That's a good thing. I agree, here, $50 for a kid/teen to take care of a neighbor's pet/take in mail, etc. is considered a bit cheap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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