Infants and pierced ears

[plain jane]

I'm curious how others feel about piercing their infant girls' ears. When my dds were younger dh and I decided against it because I figured not having their ears done would give them something to look forward to when they were older. As it turns out, the event turned out to be a big deal to my girls and it was something they really looked forward to (we did it around age 6-7) OTOH, I have to admit that I think little baby girls with pierced ears look so darn cute :001_wub: and I'm tempted to have them done as a baby next time (if there is a next time :)).

 

Of course, I don't exactly have a baby girl at the moment to be overly concerned about this :001_unsure: but dh and I are hoping that will change, and, well, inquiring minds want to know. :D

[Wheres Toto]

With my oldest, we didn't do it because I always worried about keeping them clean enough and, with her going to daycare, that they would get pulled out. I have known a few people who had problems with tears (rips not crying) from earrings on toddlers.

 

My policy has always been they can have them done when they are at least old enough to not fight me on keeping them clean. For oldest dd, she was 7 years old with her first holes, 10 the first time she got her second holes done (she had to get them redone because they closed up) and 12 the first time she got a cartiledge piercing (she just had that redone but paid for it herself).

 

I always figured wrestling with my kids to brush their teeth/gums, put clothes on them, change their diapers, bath them, brush their hair, clip their nails, etc. was enough and I wasn't adding anything optional. :001_smile:

[Skadi]

Any permanent change to another person's body should not be made until that person is at least thirteen, IMHO.

 

My parents had my ears pierced when I was six. Not only did they often get infected as I grew up (nothing wrong with the way they were pierced, doctor said it's just one of those things that some people deal with while others don't), but once I became old enough to decide I did not want my ears pierced, the holes never completely closed up. They're about half-closed, and I dislike having the holes there for the rest of my life.

 

Did people think it was cute when I was a kid? Probably. But -- and I know this is going to sound harsh -- I feel that a decision was forced upon me before I was old enough to be able to decide for myself.

[Carrie12345]

I'm forever haunted by the story of a family friend's baby ripping her earlobe after her earring got caught on the carpet.

 

One of my dds has asked to have hers done, and I'm willing to let her, but we're having scheduling issues with a friend who is a professional piercer. I'm anti-gun piercing.

[DarcyB]

For us, it's an issue of allowing them to make the decision for themselves, when they can pay for it on their own, and can keep them up themselves.

[TN Mama]

You know this is going to be one of "those" threads, right?

 

 

Simka... are you watching?

[Ellie]

My dds were 3½yo and 6mos when I had their ears piereced, with cute little pearls. I only allowed them to wear post earrings, never anything dangling, until they were teenagers. :)

[Night Elf]

It's a common occurrence in some cultures. My dd18's godparents gave her gold earrings as a gift on her first day home from the hospital. I felt like I was honoring them by having her ears pierced. She cried, but the baby in front of her didn't.

 

I didn't get dd12's ears pierced but I didn't have a specific reason. She got them done around age 10, I think, because "everyone else" had theirs done. She let them close up within a year, but had them repierced recently. Dd18's ears never had a problem because I kept them clean while they were healing, and kept the same pair in her ears for years.

[Princess Peach]

We decided to wait until DD asked to have hers done instead of making that decision for her. I brought her in to do them around Christmas time and she decided against it. She is worried about the pain. Oh well, I guess she'll do them when she's ready, or not at all. It doesn't matter to me either way.

[Heather in Neverland]

My daughter is 1yo. We have not had her ears pierced. We will wait until she is old enough to want it for herself and she is old enough to care for them. Also, ear piercing hurts and I just can't see putting her through pain for no real reason. I don't find it "morally reprehensible" or anything :tongue_smilie: ... it's just not for us.

[Parrothead]

I would have had dd's done as an infant, but dh said wait. We waited and really had to talk her into it at 9. She loves her earrings and wears them often.

[fairfarmhand]

My babies were so high maintenance it was all I could do to keep clean clothes, diapers and food in their bellies. Didn't want to add anything else to the regimen.

 

My girls can all decide when they turn 6, whether they want to or not. So far my 2 oldest have decided yes. My third dd turns 6 in April and she's still on the fence.

[ktgrok]

I would never do it, as you never know if they are going to be allergic to the metals. I can't wear any earrings, and went through hell with infections, soreness, etc and it took years to realize it just didn't work for me. in the beginning they looked fine but burned and itched and hurt. A baby can't tell you if it hurts. Plus sometimes I know in the beginning it was hard to find the right way to sleep without the back of the earing sticking me in the side of the head. Dealing with babies is hard enough, adding extra stuff that might make them uncomfortable or cranky seems like a horrible idea.

 

I also have ethical issues with causing babies pain for no medical purpose.. Cutting their body for cosmetic purposes, when they are too young to consent seems icky to me. But my main reason is practical.

[Mimm]

Ok well I voted that I didn't get it done, and wouldn't in the future, but I don't really judge people who do. I know people like to get worked up about it, but I know some cultures pierce baby girls' ears all the time. My kids had theirs pierced as soon as they asked which was around five years of age for both of them.

[SonshineLearner]

It's less invasive than other culturally acceptable practices. I wouldn't do it before the child could submit to it themselves, of their own desires. But, I don't circ or vaccinate my kids either, but I do them "permanent harm"... if spanking them upsets them for life. When I think about it, everyone does something that others can judge.

I don't see why you shouldn't do it, but...well... other than it's a hole... that you don't know your daughter will want...

[daffodil]

I don't care for earrings on babies, and my husband feels even more strongly than I do.

[texasmama]

With both of my girls, I decided to wait until they asked to have it done, understood that it would hurt and were able to fully take care of them by themselves. For my oldest dd, they was at about age 8-9. She has no regrets. My littlest dd is 5 and her ears are unpierced.

 

From my experience, people who are following traditional Hispanic culture routinely pierce infants' ears.

[TravelingChris]

No, we didn't. Why? Both our families have exczema issues and my sister who did get her ears pierced always had problems with them. As it turned out, all of my kids also had exczema problems which they continue to have occasionally into adulthood and so yes, I am glad I never did this.

[BakersDozen]

I also have ethical issues with causing babies pain for no medical purpose.. Cutting their body for cosmetic purposes, when they are too young to consent seems icky to me.

:iagree:

I hate the way my earlobes look as I was "convinced" to get my ears pierced at age 13 (grandmother who loved going against my parent's authority :glare:) and yet didn't like wearing earrings and am stuck with this hole/slit. It has been a nonissue for us so far as none of my girls have expressed a desire to have their ears pierced. My 14yod wants to wear earrings so I bought her ear clips which she loves.

[LidiyaDawn]

I don't have a problem with it ~ most of the girls in my family all had theirs done as babies. None of us remember any of the little ouch at all and the adults took care of them so there were no healing problems.

 

On the other side - one of my cousins got hers done at 8 years old and didn't take care of them properly. Multiple infections, antibiotics, etc. Fought with her mom all the time and wouldn't let her touch them. She actually wound up sedated in the ER to remove one of them after it was severely infected and sunken right into her swollen ear lobe.

[Melinda in VT]

We're making my daughter wait until she is 12. (This year! She is so excited.)

 

Now, I did say that if our twins were g/g instead of b/g, I might have pierced their ears to help tell them apart. (Gold studs in one and silver in the other.) DH knows twins who were switched in the early days and didn't realize it until high school (biology class period on fingerprints).

[Stages]

I wanted to get DD's ears pierced when she was an infant specifically because I would be the one to clean them- I wanted to make sure that they were properly cleaned every day, and I don't really know if that's something you can do with an older child. DH vetoed that idea, though. He wanted her to get her ears pierced to mark a special occasion- such as graduating kindergarten. So far she's still hole-free.

[Veritaserum]

We have five dds. We do not feel right about altering the bodies of infants without pressing medical need (one of the reasons we wouldn't circumcise sons, either). If our dds ask to get their ears pierced, they may. So far only our second dd has her ears pierced. I have mine pierced as well. I got mine pierced when I was 20.

 

Her body, her choice is what we think. :)

[Jane Elliot]

I pierced my oldest daughter's ears when she was an infant. It was dreadful watching her try to find a comfortable place for her head. She just kept turning her head back and forth. We didn't pierce our other infant girls' ears. We have made them wait until their 8th birthday, but that was a number we just picked out of the air. Sooner would have been fine.

[sparrow]

I think it looks absolutely adorable and considered doing it when my daughter was an infant, but then I had second thoughts about body modification on a child that had no say in the matter. I decided against it. I have no problem with people who have it done on their children. It was a personal decision.

 

I hoped my daughter would want them done. She's 9, and believe me, I've offered plenty of times. She has no desire to get her ears pierced. So far :001_smile:.

[JeneralMom]

I have not done it, nor would I. I had mine done when I was 6 and had a lot of problems with infections, etc. even though I was scrupulously clean. When my parents bought me gold studs, the problems ceased and I later discovered that I have pretty bad reactions to most metals. This the main reason, I would never get my girls' ears done, but I also really dislike the way it looks on babies.

[missmoe]

We wait until our girls show us they can take care of their bodies.

 

Also, I believe the APA suggests waiting now. Not that I usually take their advice about alotof things, but hey you know since they agree with me and all! ;)

 

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/yourbabyweekbyweek/ss/baby_wk_five_9.htm

Edited February 7, 2011 by missmoe

[Britomart]

Now, I did say that if our twins were g/g instead of b/g, I might have pierced their ears to help tell them apart. (Gold studs in one and silver in the other.) DH knows twins who were switched in the early days and didn't realize it until high school (biology class period on fingerprints).

 

:iagree: We had our twin girls' ears pierced for this reason (we did one pink and one white). Until then, I'd planned on having any girls wait till they were teenagers, but once we had identical twins, I decided it was more psychologically important that they be called by their proper names than that they get the excitement of having their ears pierced at thirteen!

 

I can tell them apart, and my husband can most of the time, but just about everyone else had trouble. Once we got their ears pierced, and told friends and family what the trick was, they always got called by their proper names. Now, at three, they're easier to tell apart and won't answer to each other's names, so we're not as strict about the color thing. But it was definitely worth it!

 

(And their older sister got her ears done when her baby sisters got theirs done. That only seemed fair. She turned out to be the one who was allergic to cheap metals though, so we had some trouble there.)

[BigMamaBird]

My dd does not have her ears pierced and I would not do it again. I had mine done at age 12 and I remember it being so special, almost a rite of passage into Teenhood. I don't personally care for how it looks but I'm also not bent out of shape about others doing it.

[Tap]

I didn't have dd12s done when she was a baby. We saved it for something she could look forward to. She had them done at a professional piercer when she was in young elementary school (I don't remember her age). The piercer told me that they rarely do children on principle that it is a permanent change and must be convinced that the person receiving the piercing is the one who wants it and not the parent. He said that most piercers wouldn't even consider piercing an infant/toddler. I called around to many, many studios when I got hers done and it was hard to find one that would even consider doing it at her age, and it was only done with the condition that the piercer could discuss it with her beforehand to make sure it was what she wanted, without reservation.

 

 

 

When dd4 was still doing visitations with her bio-mom, the bio-mom told me she was going to get dd's ears pierced at a visitation (dd was a baby at the time). I told her that if she chose to do that, it was fine, but I would probably remove them. I knew she wouldn't spend the $$ if she thought I would take them out. She also wanted to buy her a gold bracelet. I told her that if I lost it, I wasn't to be held liable....and to realize that she was giving it to the baby, with expectations that the baby would be the one to take care of it. FYI bio-mom isn't Hispanic (she is my neice so know it isn't a cultural thing for her). I told her she could buy one and just put it on her during visitations...:D

[littlebug42]

Our policy has always been that we would wait until they were old enough to take care of them. My oldest dd asked when she was about 7.5 and dh and I told her that we would do it for her 8th birthday and planned to make a big day of it for her. She changed her mind when she found out that it hurt. She has expressed no further interest in having them done.

 

My Mom used to bug me about having it done when I was a teen but I had no interest. I had it done when I was in college and I loathed them. My earlobes kept getting infected and I was miserable. I let them close and I have not entertained the idea again. My girls can make their own decisions on when or if they want them.

[Imprimis]

With both of my girls, I decided to wait until they asked to have it done, understood that it would hurt and were able to fully take care of them by themselves. For my oldest dd, they was at about age 8-9. She has no regrets. My littlest dd is 5 and her ears are unpierced.

 

 

 

Yes, this is how I handle ear-piercing, as well. My 7 yo has not has her ears pierced yet, but has started to express interest.

[AmyinMD]

My girls have to be at least 10 to have them done. I have 2 that are 10 and over and only one has had it done so far. I will not do it at a place like Claire's. We took dd to a piercing parlor to have it done. The person that did it had 20 years experience doing piercings. I had a horrible experience getting my ears pierced in the mall when I was younger and I knew I did not want my dd's ears pierced with a gun. The piercing parlor used needles and autoclaved the earrings beforehand.

[Punchie]

For me, piercing your ears is somewhat like a rite of passage. My girls will get theirs done when they are old enough to take care of their ears themselves. I got my ears pierced as a "big sister" present when I was 7.5 and my mom was pregnant w/my sister. She stressed that I was a big girl and it was my responsibility to take care of my ears myself.

[Scuff]

We haven't done it. When my older girls were little I didn't know how I felt about it. I figured poking holes in the body should be a decision one makes for herself. Neither girl has asked about it yet. My mom did when we were babies. I have never had problems with them closing, even though I rarely wore earings. So maybe there are advantages to doing it to a baby.

[Diane]

We pierced my little girl's ears when she was about 4 months old. In my culture, it's considered late.

 

I nursed my baby, so each time she nursed, I would gently turn her earrings. At the diaper changes, I just gently cleaned her earrings too. We didn't have any issues at all. We don't vaccinate, so I was sure to go to a place that used disposable piercers. For what it's worth- she cried for 3 seconds. My son handed her a pretty bracelet and she was very content.

[prairie rose]

Plus sometimes I know in the beginning it was hard to find the right way to sleep without the back of the earing sticking me in the side of the head. Dealing with babies is hard enough, adding extra stuff that might make them uncomfortable or cranky seems like a horrible idea.

 

I had my older dd's done when she was 8 weeks old. They put special rubber backs on the earrings. It was impossible to put that back on too tight and it completely covered the post in the back so there was no way she could poke herself with the piercing stud. She had absolutely no problems at all with the earrings, she didn't pull at them or even seem bothered by them. She's 9.5yo now and while she doesn't always wear earrings, she likes that she can when she wants to.

 

My younger dd's ears were not pierced as an infant. We were living overseas and didn't want it done off base and the girl who did it on Saturday mornings was hard to get an appointment with and I didn't want to sit all morning hoping for a no show. So we just never did it. She's 4.5yo now and has been asking for earrings for almost a year now. I probably will take her to get her ears pierced some time in the next 6 months.

 

So I guess you can say we've done it both ways. I see pros and cons to both ways and no real reason, in my mind, to do it one way over the other...just seems like a personal preference or situational kind of thing to me. Oh and I was 6yo when I got my ears pierced. I remember having it done and while I rarely wear earrings anymore, I don't regret it. My dd that had it done as an infant cried for about half a second and went back to sleep. We've warned younger dd that it will hurt for a second. She doesn't seem deterred by that at all.

[Paula in PA]

I'll admit it, I'm glad to be in the majority here. When dd was a baby, I got so much grief from certain family members for not piercing her ears then. Explanations did no good. I finally got so fed up with the question that I had to tell them to mind their own business.

 

We had decided early on to not do it so dd would have the choice of getting it done or not. I didn't feel that it would be fair to her to make that choice for her.

[Soror]

I find it repulsive, tbh, I can understand if it is a cultural thing but just to do it, no.

[Mommy22alyns]

It's not for us. Like Heather said, I don't see putting them through pain for no real reason. JMO. I want the girls to be able to decide for themselves. If either of them wanted their ears pierced now, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but neither one cares a bit. In fact, Becca abhors the idea because she knows it hurts!

[BBG580]

My oldest had hers pierced at 4.5 and it was fun for us to go and do it together. I would not pierce an infant personally but I know plenty of friends who have pierced their baby girls and I also understand that it is culturally appropriate in some instances. No judgments on any parent's choice from me, I just liked waiting a bit, though some would argue 4.5 is early!

[KristinaBreece]

DH & I have modest body mods ourselves. That said, we have not pierced DD's ears. We definitely won't until she's old enough to be seen by a professional piercer. (Around here, that's 6.) And she's old enough to care for them herself.

 

The risk of impaction when using a piercing gun isn't something I would want to chance, and if a pro does it, they'll use a needle, like for any piercing. Add to that the absolute minimal training that "piercers" at boutiques receive, and it was a no-brainer for us. (I worked at Claire's and at Wal-Mart at various points in my high school career... No one taught me how, but I pierced so many little ears. If I had known then....)

 

Of course, in Ohio it used to be common for trained cosmetologists to pierce ears in salons, and that's no longer allowed by the licensing board. I've never understood why it's acceptable for random teenagers to pierce ears, but not aestheticians who are trained in anatomy and the nervous system....

 

Ok, ending my mini-rant.

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[Ibbygirl]

In my husband's country (Dominican Republic) they just automatically do it unless you tell them otherwise. It's just something they do when the baby is born like taking their weight and measurements. :) Our dd was born in the States and I contemplated having it done when she was a baby, but decided to wait until she was older so that we could go and make a day out of it. We did this about 5 years ago and after getting them pierced my dd said I should have had it done as a baby.:001_huh: You can't always win I guess. :D hehe

[PiCO]

Any permanent change to another person's body should not be made until that person is at least thirteen, IMHO.

 

I feel much the same way, but my age limit is 10 for ear piercings.

 

My oldest got her first piercing at 10, and her second at 13. Second dd has no interest in ear piercings.

 

Older dd has also asked for ear cartilege, belly button, and nose piercings. I told her she can do that herself when she is 18, because I will only sign for 4 body holes per child. ;)

[*********]

For my boys, I will not get them piercings/allow them to get piercings while still under the authority of my husband and I. (My stepchildren are a different story; they're not under my authority concerning those types of things.) Same would apply if I had a daughter.

 

ETA: My parents allowed me to get mine pierced when I was eight. I stopped wearing earrings several years ago due to personal convictions, and now wish I did not have these holes in my ears. And let's not mention how I now feel about the tattoo I got when I was 19. :P

[Mrs Mungo]

My eldest had her ears pierced when she was 5, my middle had her ears pierced when she was around 7. I wouldn't do it to a baby, but I don't find it a horrible thing to do. I also understand that it's important in some cultures.

[happypamama]

I did not and would not pierce an infant's ears. Among other reasons, it's not my body, so it's not my choice to make a cosmetic change; she can make that decision when she's older. We've not allowed DD (almost 9) to get her ears pierced yet. I was allowed when I was 12, and that seems like a fairly reasonable age, though we'll see if we think DD is ready then.

[Punks in Ontario]

Yes, they look cute, but I didn't want dd to go through the pain and potential cleaning/snagging as a little girl.

 

I let her get them pierced when she was old enough to want it done and to understand that it would hurt and that she would have to take care of them - about 7 I think. I warned her that it would hurt for a bit and she agreed to go ahead. Then the staff lady told her it wouldn't hurt a bit for the first one. Dd was shocked that the lady lied to her and nearly wouldn't let her do the second one. She has always had a habit of never believing me.:confused:

[Truscifi]

For us, it's an issue of allowing them to make the decision for themselves, when they can pay for it on their own, and can keep them up themselves.

 

:iagree: I don't have a girl, but if I did...this.