chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My elderly mother has locked herself out of her mobile phone, presumably by entering the wrong passcode too many times. I'm wondering if it's time to revert to just landline again for her. She generally uses her mobile for phone calls (using the contacts list) and for music. I think she occasionally texts. Can you think of any reason she would need a mobile phone any longer? I don't think she gets codes texted much anymore, because her use of things like internet banking and internet shopping has dropped off as her dementia has progressed. Am I forgetting anything important? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My MIL never uses her except to have a phone for emergencies when she's out. She doesn't know how to text or do anything on her phone. I suspect many elderly people don't. I wish companies didn't assume everyone has access to a mobile phone now; that sure makes things difficult at times. I prefer to use mine as little as possible because I hate it and am not good with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My dad is 92 and we like for him to have a cell phone in his pocket so he can call if he falls or otherwise needs help. My sister had a tumor last year that caused her to lose the ability to walk and her cell phone was essential. We’d get her in bed for the night and have her phone beside her. And then have it beside her during the day when we got her into her chair. It enabled me to not have to move in while she was waiting for surgery/recovering from it. (I live 4 doors down, ut at least I could sleep in my own bed) 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 (edited) My parents are retired and they manage quite easily without a cell phone -- but they have never had one, so they aren't used to doing anything that way and wouldn't have to adjust to not having one. They just never got used to doing anything with one. They do have: a home computer, a tablet, and a landline and are quite savvy with those tools. Occasionally they have to work around something that a person would do most naturally with a cell phone, but it has been fine so far. Edited May 5 by bolt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My 87 yo mom cannot work a cell phone. She has a landline phone and an ipad. She manages. I do help with some things. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 1 hour ago, chocolate-chip chooky said: Can you think of any reason she would need a mobile phone any longer If she use Siri or whatever the android equivalent to call instead of dialing. It would be useful if she fell or is not near the landline to call her mobile phone to dial you or anyone else. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 sounds like she's ready for a simpler phone. If she still wants to text or email, the Claris Companion interface works well. I have it on a tablet for my father and it allows him to continue to "use a computer" without the problems, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 I can’t really relate because my parents are 79 and 85. They both have cell phones and tablets and use them daily. My mom was the first person I knew who had a PC. 1996. So she has always been techie. I hear their are phones easier to operate…for older ones. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Does it give her independent communication with grandchildren? I more or less stopped communicating with my grandmother when dementia set in because she lived interstate with an unpleasant aunt and I couldn't know what would or wouldn't trigger either of them, but I could still send photos occasionally and the aunt didn't complain about them. I don't know if that's a common dynamic with dementia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Will she have trouble dialing numbers on a landline? Could you change the settings on her phone so she doesn’t need a passcode? Also, who is she calling? Local or far away? Do landlines still cost for long distance? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My mother has one she keeps in her purse for emergencies, but she doesn't really know how to answer or use it. Now that she's not driving I'm unsure why she has it but it makes her feel more secure. We got her a call blocking device for her landline that has dramatically reduced the number of spam calls she gets. She uses email and watches programs on the computer quite easily. I don't have a cell phone but I've designed my very privileged life to not need one. I live rurally, I have my own business with my husband. I don't have an answering machine at my house. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Just now, Eos said: My mother has one she keeps in her purse for emergencies, but she doesn't really know how to answer or use it. Now that she's not driving I'm unsure why she has it but it makes her feel more secure. We got her a call blocking device for her landline that has dramatically reduced the number of spam calls she gets. She uses email and watches programs on the computer quite easily. I don't have a cell phone but I've designed my very privileged life to not need one. I live rurally, I have my own business with my husband. I don't have an answering machine at my house. Don’t you worry about traveling in rural areas without a phone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Just now, Scarlett said: Don’t you worry about traveling in rural areas without a phone? I don't. Since I never had one, I'm not used to it so I don't miss it, I guess. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Both my parents had cell phones and both had dementia. As they each declined, they lost their ability to used the phones, but they still wanted the phone near by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Definitely go back to a landline. It’s not necessary. My grandmother has never used a mobile phone and has never really needed one. She doesn’t have dementia. And has money and appointments to manage. She does just fine with landline only. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 (edited) My MIL and mom both rapidly lost the ability to use their smart phones when dementia set in. Within months of being unable to operate a cell phone they also could not longer operate a landline, even one with the photo buttons that are programmed with people's phone numbers. I figure now that once the decline starts, it won't be long until the rest of my elders need in-person assistance not technological assistance. My dad has never had an iPhone, just a flip phone. He can still operate it at 84 without a problem. He got rid of the landline because the spam calls were incessant and my mom's dementia meant that she would answer every single one, couldn't be talked out of answering. A few years ago she was scammed online, but she's beyond being scammed now, wouldn't know how to find her wallet much less her bank account or credit card number. So many websites and agencies and companies are putting in place things that require phones recently. It will really impact a good percentage of the elderly. For example, I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. (We do not live in a high crime area; we live in one of the safest states in the nation.) Sigh. Edited May 5 by Kalmia 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 59 minutes ago, Kalmia said: I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. That's so absurd I don't even know what to say. It's like an episode of Mr Bean written by Franz Kafka and filmed by Terry Gilliam. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 If she just uses it for phone calls, get her another and skip the passcode, or just write the passcode down somewhere safe. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Due to my health issues I do not have a passcode on my phone so that if anything happens to me someone can go into my contacts and find my ICE (hubby) and call to het me help. I do text my family a lot and I have Kindle on my phone. I have my list of passwords on my phone so I don't lose them and a copy of my insurance card. I know that is not terribly safe but I have never lost my phone so I am not overly worried about it. It also helps to text my hubby downstairs when I need something or if I need help. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasc Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 @Kalmia I’m with @Corraleno That story is just so utterly absurd that I’m left near speechless. I’m glad you challenged the teller to at least think through the process. I’m sure they aren’t making the rules, but still, maybe it will help somehow… 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasc Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My grandmothers had simple, dumb phones that they had until their deaths. They kept the phone in their pocket if they walked outside to get the mail, or would put it on the counter edge when bathing in case of falls. It gave them and the family peace of mind since they lived alone. However, no dementia was in play with them so they kept up with their phones and knew how to dial the pre-saved contacts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 6 hours ago, Kalmia said: My MIL and mom both rapidly lost the ability to use their smart phones when dementia set in. Within months of being unable to operate a cell phone they also could not longer operate a landline, even one with the photo buttons that are programmed with people's phone numbers. I figure now that once the decline starts, it won't be long until the rest of my elders need in-person assistance not technological assistance. My dad has never had an iPhone, just a flip phone. He can still operate it at 84 without a problem. He got rid of the landline because the spam calls were incessant and my mom's dementia meant that she would answer every single one, couldn't be talked out of answering. A few years ago she was scammed online, but she's beyond being scammed now, wouldn't know how to find her wallet much less her bank account or credit card number. So many websites and agencies and companies are putting in place things that require phones recently. It will really impact a good percentage of the elderly. For example, I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. (We do not live in a high crime area; we live in one of the safest states in the nation.) Sigh. All of this. I recently took on a lot of my mom’s care, which required a good amount of phone work with insurance companies and government agencies. The level of technological “help” is testament to how little they considered the needs of the elderly. I tried to simply sit next to my mom while she managed the tasks but there was no way. I can’t imagine how someone without an invested friend or family member functions. The labyrinth of menu options is bewildering. They use internal jargon that doesn’t make sense. And if you dare to make a sound (clear your throat, stir your coffee), the system picks it up and interrupts with an automated “I didn’t get that. Please listen to the menu options again.” Then there’s a “text a code,” which requires the caller to maneuver away from the call screen to the message screen and then to the number pad and then back to the call—all without disconnecting the call. And a landline was NOT an option. Then there’s “enter your phone pin, which, by the way, is different from your regular pin, and if you don’t have it we can mail one to you at the address we have on file. “Oh, what’s that? You’re calling for the purpose of changing the address on file? Well we can’t do that without this phone pin that we’re sending to whatever address you tell us.” Sounds super secure and necessary. Thanks! 🙄 It all changes so quickly, and every new advancement is touted as oh-so-much more secure and efficient. Pbltpbltpblt to that. It’s dehumanizing. (I’m going to make a great curmudgeon someday!) 5 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 37 minutes ago, Hyacinth said: All of this. I recently took on a lot of my mom’s care, which required a good amount of phone work with insurance companies and government agencies. The level of technological “help” is testament to how little they considered the needs of the elderly. I tried to simply sit next to my mom while she managed the tasks but there was no way. I can’t imagine how someone without an invested friend or family member functions. The labyrinth of menu options is bewildering. They use internal jargon that doesn’t make sense. And if you dare to make a sound (clear your throat, stir your coffee), the system picks it up and interrupts with an automated “I didn’t get that. Please listen to the menu options again.” Then there’s a “text a code,” which requires the caller to maneuver away from the call screen to the message screen and then to the number pad and then back to the call—all without disconnecting the call. And a landline was NOT an option. Then there’s “enter your phone pin, which, by the way, is different from your regular pin, and if you don’t have it we can mail one to you at the address we have on file. “Oh, what’s that? You’re calling for the purpose of changing the address on file? Well we can’t do that without this phone pin that we’re sending to whatever address you tell us.” Sounds super secure and necessary. Thanks! 🙄 It all changes so quickly, and every new advancement is touted as oh-so-much more secure and efficient. Pbltpbltpblt to that. It’s dehumanizing. (I’m going to make a great curmudgeon someday!) Thank you so much for saying this! I have had these same thoughts so many times as my 86 year old mother struggles to navigate through bill-paying and healthcare and other business needs. She is still quite mentally capable, but the phone (and computer) stuff stresses her out so much. Especially multi-factor authentication.I agree, it's dehumanizing. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 8 hours ago, Kalmia said: My MIL and mom both rapidly lost the ability to use their smart phones when dementia set in. Within months of being unable to operate a cell phone they also could not longer operate a landline, even one with the photo buttons that are programmed with people's phone numbers. I figure now that once the decline starts, it won't be long until the rest of my elders need in-person assistance not technological assistance. My dad has never had an iPhone, just a flip phone. He can still operate it at 84 without a problem. He got rid of the landline because the spam calls were incessant and my mom's dementia meant that she would answer every single one, couldn't be talked out of answering. A few years ago she was scammed online, but she's beyond being scammed now, wouldn't know how to find her wallet much less her bank account or credit card number. So many websites and agencies and companies are putting in place things that require phones recently. It will really impact a good percentage of the elderly. For example, I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. (We do not live in a high crime area; we live in one of the safest states in the nation.) Sigh. 47 minutes ago, Hyacinth said: All of this. I recently took on a lot of my mom’s care, which required a good amount of phone work with insurance companies and government agencies. The level of technological “help” is testament to how little they considered the needs of the elderly. I tried to simply sit next to my mom while she managed the tasks but there was no way. I can’t imagine how someone without an invested friend or family member functions. The labyrinth of menu options is bewildering. They use internal jargon that doesn’t make sense. And if you dare to make a sound (clear your throat, stir your coffee), the system picks it up and interrupts with an automated “I didn’t get that. Please listen to the menu options again.” Then there’s a “text a code,” which requires the caller to maneuver away from the call screen to the message screen and then to the number pad and then back to the call—all without disconnecting the call. And a landline was NOT an option. Then there’s “enter your phone pin, which, by the way, is different from your regular pin, and if you don’t have it we can mail one to you at the address we have on file. “Oh, what’s that? You’re calling for the purpose of changing the address on file? Well we can’t do that without this phone pin that we’re sending to whatever address you tell us.” Sounds super secure and necessary. Thanks! 🙄 It all changes so quickly, and every new advancement is touted as oh-so-much more secure and efficient. Pbltpbltpblt to that. It’s dehumanizing. (I’m going to make a great curmudgeon someday!) 7 minutes ago, Serenade said: Thank you so much for saying this! I have had these same thoughts so many times as my 86 year old mother struggles to navigate through bill-paying and healthcare and other business needs. She is still quite mentally capable, but the phone (and computer) stuff stresses her out so much. Especially multi-factor authentication.I agree, it's dehumanizing. Yes, I had 2 older clients recently and it was the same for them. The government is "streamlining" application processes. It is said it is a way to make things easier but seems to be about saving money in employment costs. It is a bonus that fewer people sign up, which saves even more money. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Serenade said: Thank you so much for saying this! I have had these same thoughts so many times as my 86 year old mother struggles to navigate through bill-paying and healthcare and other business needs. She is still quite mentally capable, but the phone (and computer) stuff stresses her out so much. Especially multi-factor authentication.I agree, it's dehumanizing. All of this. Literally dehumanizing for both elderly parent and former receptionists. Menus, voicemail, portals, all of it. I've set alerts on her email and bank accounts to come to my email, and put most of her monthly expenses on autopay. She wears a call button for falls. I'm not anti-tech, some of it is quite helpful but the amount of menus the average elder has to wade through is absurd and unnecessary. I'd buy stock in the startup that offers a secure way to bypass all of it because you know the modern world can't possibly afford to go back to real humans on calls who can look stuff up and make small talk as they help the customers and clients. 😖 Edited May 5 by Eos 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emba Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 14 hours ago, Annie G said: My dad is 92 and we like for him to have a cell phone in his pocket so he can call if he falls or otherwise needs help. My sister had a tumor last year that caused her to lose the ability to walk and her cell phone was essential. We’d get her in bed for the night and have her phone beside her. And then have it beside her during the day when we got her into her chair. It enabled me to not have to move in while she was waiting for surgery/recovering from it. (I live 4 doors down, ut at least I could sleep in my own bed) Though for falls specifically, there are other options for something that a person can have on-body to call for help; we’ve bought my husband’s grandparents watches that connect to a service that will call for help if a fall is detected (I think) or a panic button is pushed (for sure) and then not verbally canceled. The service calls us first and then emergency services if they can’t get us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 My 89yo aunt doesn't have one. She doesn't drive anymore and there's no mass transit so she is always driven everywhere (which is mostly doctor appointments). She has the beginning stages of dementia and was almost scammed a few times. Fortunately her bank caught it. Now my cousin has the landline set up so that only approved numbers can get through. I'm not sure how she was able to do it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 3 hours ago, Serenade said: Thank you so much for saying this! I have had these same thoughts so many times as my 86 year old mother struggles to navigate through bill-paying and healthcare and other business needs. She is still quite mentally capable, but the phone (and computer) stuff stresses her out so much. Especially multi-factor authentication.I agree, it's dehumanizing. It's not even always technology - just processes that don't take into account age/disability. My mum wanted a copy of her will sent to our house where she was living. The solicitor insisted on speaking to her on the phone to confirm the request and wouldn't let me interpret for her - she was very deaf. In the end I had the solicitor on speaker phone and was writing down what he said so that my mum could respond. This was against the solicitor's instructions, but he gave us no choice. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 I would agree with either turning off the passcode or just using facial recognition. I don't think a land line would be easier for a person who struggles to use a cell phone. I would prefer the cell phone in this situation in case the person falls or for whatever other reason can't easily get to a land line. It might make sense to have a backup phone, pager, or land line just in case something happens to the cell phone. As for those security things that are difficult for some people - if you haven't already done so, get a POA and legal access to their legal, financial, and tax documents. I would also suggest setting up your own online access (with passwords as necessary), listing your own phone number to receive access codes, etc. (Keep detailed records in case anyone decides to challenge whatever you do with their accounts etc.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 15 hours ago, Scarlett said: I can’t really relate because my parents are 79 and 85. They both have cell phones and tablets and use them daily. My mom was the first person I knew who had a PC. 1996. So she has always been techie. I hear their are phones easier to operate…for older ones. Not if you're working. Nearly all our workplace software requires authentication with a MS based authenticator that requries a phone. I absolutely hate it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 2 hours ago, Halftime Hope said: Not if you're working. Nearly all our workplace software requires authentication with a MS based authenticator that requries a phone. I absolutely hate it. Same here. If you don't have a smartphone you need to call IT services in order to log in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 18 hours ago, Scarlett said: I can’t really relate because my parents are 79 and 85. They both have cell phones and tablets and use them daily. My mom was the first person I knew who had a PC. 1996. So she has always been techie. I hear their are phones easier to operate…for older ones. My Mum was like yours. I remember being in primary school and being one of the first families to own a computer. An Apple 2c or 2e. I can't remember which. My Mum was a teacher librarian, and she was always way better than me at anything tech. But sadly, dementia has eroded that in just the past two years. She now can't understand the order of emails or texts, for example, or keep track of passwords. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 18 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said: Does it give her independent communication with grandchildren? I more or less stopped communicating with my grandmother when dementia set in because she lived interstate with an unpleasant aunt and I couldn't know what would or wouldn't trigger either of them, but I could still send photos occasionally and the aunt didn't complain about them. I don't know if that's a common dynamic with dementia. We're fortunate so far in that my Mum is mostly in a happy state. She gets teary-happy and super grateful for all the good things in her life. It's actually quite sweet. She's the nicest version of her I've known. But having said that, she had a UTI recently, and that led to angry and aggressive outbursts, especially towards her in-home carers. But to answer your question, no, she doesn't use a phone to communicate with any grandchildren. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 18 hours ago, athena1277 said: Will she have trouble dialing numbers on a landline? Could you change the settings on her phone so she doesn’t need a passcode? Also, who is she calling? Local or far away? Do landlines still cost for long distance? My sister and I are pondering putting a list of contact numbers on the wall near her landline, but I've thought exactly what you said. I'm not sure she could transfer the numbers to the landline accurately these days. If she gets it wrong, she'll think the number on the wall is wrong. On her mobile, she is good at hitting 'contacts' and then scrolling to find a name and hitting call. All calls are local, as far as I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 16 hours ago, City Mouse said: Both my parents had cell phones and both had dementia. As they each declined, they lost their ability to used the phones, but they still wanted the phone near by. This seems to be where we are at, or where we're headed. She seems to still want a mobile, but I'm not sure if it will cause more or less issues as we move forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 16 hours ago, Kalmia said: My MIL and mom both rapidly lost the ability to use their smart phones when dementia set in. Within months of being unable to operate a cell phone they also could not longer operate a landline, even one with the photo buttons that are programmed with people's phone numbers. I figure now that once the decline starts, it won't be long until the rest of my elders need in-person assistance not technological assistance. My dad has never had an iPhone, just a flip phone. He can still operate it at 84 without a problem. He got rid of the landline because the spam calls were incessant and my mom's dementia meant that she would answer every single one, couldn't be talked out of answering. A few years ago she was scammed online, but she's beyond being scammed now, wouldn't know how to find her wallet much less her bank account or credit card number. So many websites and agencies and companies are putting in place things that require phones recently. It will really impact a good percentage of the elderly. For example, I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. (We do not live in a high crime area; we live in one of the safest states in the nation.) Sigh. This is exactly the sort of thing I'm thinking about. So difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 14 hours ago, Reefgazer said: If she just uses it for phone calls, get her another and skip the passcode, or just write the passcode down somewhere safe. A few of you have mentioned skipping the passcode. I didn't know this was possible. So, I could potentially get her a new simpler mobile phone and somehow disable the need for a code. She just turns it on and she's in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 9 hours ago, Hyacinth said: All of this. I recently took on a lot of my mom’s care, which required a good amount of phone work with insurance companies and government agencies. The level of technological “help” is testament to how little they considered the needs of the elderly. I tried to simply sit next to my mom while she managed the tasks but there was no way. I can’t imagine how someone without an invested friend or family member functions. The labyrinth of menu options is bewildering. They use internal jargon that doesn’t make sense. And if you dare to make a sound (clear your throat, stir your coffee), the system picks it up and interrupts with an automated “I didn’t get that. Please listen to the menu options again.” Then there’s a “text a code,” which requires the caller to maneuver away from the call screen to the message screen and then to the number pad and then back to the call—all without disconnecting the call. And a landline was NOT an option. Then there’s “enter your phone pin, which, by the way, is different from your regular pin, and if you don’t have it we can mail one to you at the address we have on file. “Oh, what’s that? You’re calling for the purpose of changing the address on file? Well we can’t do that without this phone pin that we’re sending to whatever address you tell us.” Sounds super secure and necessary. Thanks! 🙄 It all changes so quickly, and every new advancement is touted as oh-so-much more secure and efficient. Pbltpbltpblt to that. It’s dehumanizing. (I’m going to make a great curmudgeon someday!) Oh my. Yes to all of this. I get it. So difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 5 hours ago, Laura Corin said: It's not even always technology - just processes that don't take into account age/disability. My mum wanted a copy of her will sent to our house where she was living. The solicitor insisted on speaking to her on the phone to confirm the request and wouldn't let me interpret for her - she was very deaf. In the end I had the solicitor on speaker phone and was writing down what he said so that my mum could respond. This was against the solicitor's instructions, but he gave us no choice. I can relate to this for sure. My Dad is deaf and my Mum has dementia. It makes for an interesting adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 4 hours ago, SKL said: I would agree with either turning off the passcode or just using facial recognition. I don't think a land line would be easier for a person who struggles to use a cell phone. I would prefer the cell phone in this situation in case the person falls or for whatever other reason can't easily get to a land line. It might make sense to have a backup phone, pager, or land line just in case something happens to the cell phone. As for those security things that are difficult for some people - if you haven't already done so, get a POA and legal access to their legal, financial, and tax documents. I would also suggest setting up your own online access (with passwords as necessary), listing your own phone number to receive access codes, etc. (Keep detailed records in case anyone decides to challenge whatever you do with their accounts etc.) Thank you. This is really helpful. Both my sister and I have EPOA, and we already have several things diverted to us. I'm not sure about facial recognition or fingerprint recognition instead of a passcode. I like the idea that my dad could also use her phone in an emergency. I need to work out how to turn off passcodes, and really consider this as an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 Thank you to everyone who has replied. I really appreciate your input and ideas. 🌻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 You can set up emergency phone numbers that the phone can call without using the password / passcode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 1 minute ago, SKL said: You can set up emergency phone numbers that the phone can call without using the password / passcode. Can you skip having a passcode altogether? My mum also likes using her phone for music. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 8 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said: Can you skip having a passcode altogether? My mum also likes using her phone for music. I hope so, but I really don't know! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 22 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said: Can you skip having a passcode altogether? My mum also likes using her phone for music. What kind of phone is it? With newer iPhones you can set up face ID. That works quite well. I don't know for sure if it's possible to use an iPhone w/o either a passcode or face ID, but I think it is. I think you can go in settings and turn both of those off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 I’d just turn off the passcode especially if she’s mostly at home. My iPhone has the face unlock thing and it doesn’t always work. I have no idea why. I preferred the thumbprint unlock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 16 hours ago, KidsHappen said: Due to my health issues I do not have a passcode on my phone so that if anything happens to me someone can go into my contacts and find my ICE (hubby) and call to het me help. I do text my family a lot and I have Kindle on my phone. I have my list of passwords on my phone so I don't lose them and a copy of my insurance card. I know that is not terribly safe but I have never lost my phone so I am not overly worried about it. It also helps to text my hubby downstairs when I need something or if I need help. If you have an iPhone you can set up a medical ID that is accessible without your passcode. I have my name, diagnoses, medication, contact numbers etc. in mine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Would an Alexa type device work for falls? My kids who don't have phones use it to call me. The issue I see with relying on a cellphone for falls is it they don't have it with them at the moment for whatever reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 4 hours ago, Laura Corin said: Same here. If you don't have a smartphone you need to call IT services in order to log in. To do a regular day's work, I'd need to call IT about 20 times. It's absolutely ridiculous. It absolutely amazes me that there has not been a revolt. Everyone just puts up with the software packages logging you out after x minutes. I'll be very happy to retire. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 When we looked at emergency call buttons or watches a few years ago, they had the ability to call the monitoring service when an elder fell. I think that is much, much more realistic than expecting an elder to hold onto a phone in a fall. I haven't looked into simpler cell phones for seniors, but I know they exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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