Stress shopping - what do you buy?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I am stressed. Between a recent weight gain, dealing with a job transition, unexpected bills, and some private matters, I am struggling. I want to spend, spend, spend.

There is a puppy - same breed as my current dog - that a breeder I know is accepting applications for. Due to my current dog's medical needs (IBS, special diet, daily meds) I really do not have the financial resources to bring another big dog into the house. But the puppy is so cute and I really would like a second dog. I have a name picked out already.

I also want to buy a new-to-me car. I am driving a 13 year old VW beetle convertible and could use a larger car to haul my 65# dog, my hiking gear, his gear, or all of my tennis gear when I teach tennis. I can carry it all but I need to put the top down to load/unload and no one can ride with me.

I do not want to be sidetracked from my financial goals for the year. I have worked diligently to budget and make headway.

So I bought shoes - shoes for my DD. Shoes for my DGDs. Shoes for me. We needed the shoes so I could justify the expense.

 

But I still want the puppy.

 

 

and the car.

 

[TheReader]

I am also a stress shopper, so I totally get it. 

I used to stress-shop for clothes, but then I made a significant change in my wardrobe/approach to clothing, so that has stopped, which is lovely. Now, I might pop into the Goodwill or the thrift shop run by our local Women's Shelter, instead, looking for quality pieces. 

If I want to just plain stress shop, I end up at the quilt shop/fabric shop instead. :sigh:  Or looking for shoes.  I do have "play money" each month, and stick to within that limit, so it's not detrimental (and I keep a list of "remember, you are saving up for....." stuff as well). 

Big hugs to you on all the extra hits this month/lately; I'm glad you were able to find needed shoes though and channel your stress shopping into that. 

[gardenmom5]

Something about having been seriously broke for a period of years due to unemployment and business failures -  I can't stress shop.  If I'm stressed, I can rarely bring myself to buy anything.
 

Instead, i "oh, this is a fun project, it needs decor" shop. . . . Right now it's - dh put in a new driveway - got a *great* deal on it. (it goes downhill from the house - the bottom three feet of pavers are STILL wet from the rain a couple days ago as the water comes up between them.   That's how much water comes down the hill from above us - but at least it's not trying to come up through the garage floor)  anyway - I digress.   I bought new planters for the front door, and plants.   and bagged mulch for the beds . . .  and I keep thinking "oh, I need a 'trellis' for that rose", and I really want a couple more side table for the pavillion, and the list grows . . . 

 the bad thing is eating chocolate when I'm stressed..  I really, really, shouldn't be.  I need to remember to take my adrenal supplements, that cuts down on the sugar cravings for me . . . 

[Spryte]

This time of year, stress shopping means plants. Soooo many plants!

[Indigo Blue]

I can remember one thing I bought years ago that was a stress shop item. It was a beautiful recipe book from the Hallmark store. I still have it. I felt better when I did that, but now when I see it, I think of the thing that happened that stressed me out. Not saying this to say don’t stress shop. This was just my experience. 
 

A lot of times, I will just treat myself to a food item I normally don’t want to pay that high price for. Example: A smoothie from Clean Juice. It does help, so I do it sometimes. 
 

My big ticket stress buying items are camping related. I promised myself that if I could get myself to the point to where I’d be physically comfortable camping by this spring, I’d get a high quality tent and go. But it hasn’t happened. I did buy items throughout the winter that were carefully-chosen camping must haves, but they can also be used at home as well. So right now, I practically own everything except for the dang tent, and all the related items ARE used at home all the time. As an alternative to camping, I have everything I need to quickly set up my sun deck for a quick outdoor meal (in the style of as you would if you were camping) for one or two, with a nice looking weather proof deck box to store it all. We also built a beautiful fire pit area on our property. I was/am driven by the “stress” of having chronic tight, painful, and knotted muscles. I was just trying to do something to help me cope better, and I allowed myself to spend some money to make that happen. My tent is still waiting in my Amazon wish list. Maybe some day. (Yes, I could do it, but I don’t want to if I can’t hike comfortably and move around comfortably and stand without my back burning). 

[Clemsondana]

I buy organization stuff - cubbies, drawer dividers, baskets.  At least if I use them things look better afterwards so there's an up side?  That's my justification, anyway.  

[73349]

Free: Library books. Podcast episodes.

Not free: Food. I add first aid and/or cooking items to my Amazon list but don't necessarily buy.

Having a carefully categorized budget (using You Need a Budget) keeps me from going too wild.

 

[Arcadia]

Puppy is out of the budget for us too and we also don’t have the space currently in our home. 
Car we are still looking for a hybrid minivan but its more of a want because our Corolla runs well, just a little cramped.

My husband’s stress shopping is buying me more shoes, bags and outerwear.  He says men fashion is so boring so he rather buy me stuff.
I have always been a window shopper since young even when I have birthday money to spend. My stress shopping is treating myself to a Starbucks Frappuccino and buying dried mango as snacks. My childhood home is also small so I have to be conscious of how much room something would take when buying stuff as my mom and I doesn’t like clutter. My in-laws don’t mind clutter and hoard stuff so my husband doesn’t think about space constraints automatically. 

[KatieJ]

Fabric. 

[knitgrl]

Books. Used makes them more affordable.

[KungFuPanda]

I load my iPad with digital library books and put it in airplane mode so they can’t take them back before I’m ready. 🤣 I wanted to say that I don’t stress/impulse shop, but I might have a bit of a plant problem. 

[stephanier.1765]

I really, really want a puppy too. We just don't dare while our newest cat is still learning to trust us, but it is so hard to wait.

[regentrude]

I go to Goodwill. It's amazing how a new shirt for $4.89 can lift my mood.
And blank notebooks.

Edited April 25, 2023 by regentrude

[Carrie12345]

Cleaning gadgets. 
Kitchen gadgets. 
Office supplies.  
Organizing tools.  
Exercise gadgets.  
Hundreds of dollars in food storage.  
Insane amounts of dog stuff.

Seems tame, but it depends on just how stressed I am, lol.

[wintermom]

It sounds like you need both - the new puppy and a bigger car to transport both dogs! ☺️

If you have to choose between the two, go for the puppy. New life is incredibly inspiring. Puppies bring joy, distraction, energy, love, etc.

[wintermom]

For ME, when I'm stressed, or when someone close to me dies, I have had amazing new energy, renewal of motivation for everything, when I was able to bring in "new life" to my home. At times, it was a new baby, but recently my father passed away and I bought a new puppy on the spur of the moment. This puppy has been a HUGE game changer for myself and my dh. Dh loves this pup, and the two of us take the puppy for walks every single day. 

When bablies or puppies weren't available, I love buying plants and flowers for indoors and outdoors. 

Edited April 25, 2023 by wintermom

[rebcoola]

My current is little girl clothes and accessories the stuff a 4yr old is cheap compared to stuff for the older and it is so cute!!!!!!

[athena1277]

Clothes, mainly for me or one of my dd’s.  (My guys are hard to buy for.). I also love a trip to a thrift store to see what great deals I can find.

[OH_Homeschooler]

4 hours ago, Clemsondana said:

I buy organization stuff - cubbies, drawer dividers, baskets.  At least if I use them things look better afterwards so there's an up side?  That's my justification, anyway.  

Same here. If I'm feeling stressed, it helps to feel like I have some control, and organizing is one way I can have control. 

I recently discovered Temu. I could browse for hours and hours on there, and everything is so cheap that if I buy something, it doesn't kill my budget. I am also a big fan of putting things in my carts online, or creating wishlists when I want to shop. 

[QueenCat]

Pottery, shoes, and cute yard decorations. 

[Spryte]

30 minutes ago, OH_Homeschooler said:

Same here. If I'm feeling stressed, it helps to feel like I have some control, and organizing is one way I can have control. 

I recently discovered Temu. I could browse for hours and hours on there, and everything is so cheap that if I buy something, it doesn't kill my budget. I am also a big fan of putting things in my carts online, or creating wishlists when I want to shop. 

Have you ordered from Temu? I was looking for something recently and Temu popped up with a radically lower price than every other site. I wasn’t sure if it was for real!

[Spryte]

Ok, I thought of another stress shopping item: I plan vacations. Pre-Covid, that was my big stress shopping item when DH traveled for work. He’d come home to vacation plans.

[marbel]

Apparently I buy food. When I'm stressed I can't think of what to cook/eat, so I go out and get easy things to cook.  

I just got home from Sam's Club with ground beef, chicken thighs, bratwurst, and pre-made heat-and-eat mac and cheese. I have all the things to make mac and cheese, but hey, if Sam wants to  make it for me, great.  

Usually I also get eggs but we are in good shape there. 

ETA: I like to stress-buy books, but now I mostly borrow from the library, which actually feels just as indulgent. 

Edited April 25, 2023 by marbel

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Thank you for the replies.

I usually eat when stressed - potato chips and chocolate. Since I am trying to become healthier and lose weight, I want to change that habit.

I am not a clothes or shoe shopper so it is rare for me to go shopping for myself.

My house is one of the things causing stress and I just don't want to deal with it at the moment. Some of that is due to being gone so much the past 7 weeks. and being behind on spring cleaning and yardwork.

I would like the puppy, I really would, but the other dog's expenses are so high (multiple hundreds a month for food & medicine) that bringing another dog into the house just isn't feasible. His costs are also a hindrance to buying a new car. The dog takes up anything I would have had for a car payment. Having a chronically ill young dog is a stresors I hadn't counted on two years ago. But I am dealing with it. Some days better than others.

Today, my DD needed my assistance so I visited with her and took her and youngest DGD to Target where I bought youngest DGD two pairs of shoes and   a child's backpack. I also took them to Noodles & CO and tried the GF Pad Thai. I am wild. Out of control  LOL

I also looked up used Subarus in my area and, after looking at the sticker prices and monthly payments, felt much better about my VW.

--

I wish I was a shopper. Up until March, when I was stressed, after eating the aforementioned chips and chocolate, I would walk, hike, bike, or play tennis. but none of that is working at the moment. I have no umph, no get up and go.

Edited April 25, 2023 by Granny_Weatherwax

[lovinmyboys]

I buy books and board games. Buying things I need does not relieve my stress

[Granny_Weatherwax]

7 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I can remember one thing I bought years ago that was a stress shop item. It was a beautiful recipe book from the Hallmark store. I still have it. I felt better when I did that, but now when I see it, I think of the thing that happened that stressed me out. Not saying this to say don’t stress shop. This was just my experience. 
 

A lot of times, I will just treat myself to a food item I normally don’t want to pay that high price for. Example: A smoothie from Clean Juice. It does help, so I do it sometimes. 
 

My big ticket stress buying items are camping related. I promised myself that if I could get myself to the point to where I’d be physically comfortable camping by this spring, I’d get a high quality tent and go. But it hasn’t happened. I did buy items throughout the winter that were carefully-chosen camping must haves, but they can also be used at home as well. So right now, I practically own everything except for the dang tent, and all the related items ARE used at home all the time. As an alternative to camping, I have everything I need to quickly set up my sun deck for a quick outdoor meal (in the style of as you would if you were camping) for one or two, with a nice looking weather proof deck box to store it all. We also built a beautiful fire pit area on our property. I was/am driven by the “stress” of having chronic tight, painful, and knotted muscles. I was just trying to do something to help me cope better, and I allowed myself to spend some money to make that happen. My tent is still waiting in my Amazon wish list. Maybe some day. (Yes, I could do it, but I don’t want to if I can’t hike comfortably and move around comfortably and stand without my back burning). 

First of all, sending you hugs for whatever caused your stress and I hope it is over now.

 

I have all of my backpacking items sitting in the basement. I don't have any trips planned for this year since my dog is eating up most of my discretionary  income.  He was also supposed to be my hiking/backpacking/camping partner but that hasn't worked out so well. This is the first summer he is up to optimal weight, though, and I have a dream of taking him on trail. He eats canned food for most of his meals and for his meds and that will add a lot of weight to backpacking trips. 

[GoVanGogh]

6 hours ago, wintermom said:

It sounds like you need both - the new puppy and a bigger car to transport both dogs! ☺️

If you have to choose between the two, go for the puppy. New life is incredibly inspiring. Puppies bring joy, distraction, energy, love, etc.

My DS and I adopted a kitten when DH was out of town, dealing with his dad’s terminal cancer. DH will never let me live that down, though we all say how wonderful it was to have new kitten energy in the house while we were all sad. 

[GoVanGogh]

I tend to buy books. Lots of books. Esp with stress over my health, I will go on binges buying health related books. And shoes. My neurologist really stresses me out so I tend to buy new workout shoes after appointments with him. (I do like my neurologist, but I find appointments depressing. And he is forever on me about wearing practical shoes and that I need to be working out more. So. New workout shoes.) And plants. It is spring so plants are always the answer. (I can justify that for any season.) 

[OH_Homeschooler]

3 hours ago, Spryte said:

Have you ordered from Temu? I was looking for something recently and Temu popped up with a radically lower price than every other site. I wasn’t sure if it was for real!

Yes, I've had several orders now. The biggest drawback is the slow shipping speed, but as long as you're aware it could take a couple of weeks it's not a problem. One time they gave me a $5 credit because the package arrived late. I've gotten a few t-shirts, bowl covers, tote bags, lunch bags, a cute reading light. Good quality for the most part, definitely cheaper than purchasing the same thing off of Amazon. All the orders I've received have been in sealed plastic bags. Probably bad for the environment (I mean, the whole concept of TEMU is probably bad for the environment) but I love that I don't get enormous, half-empty boxes that I have to break down. 

[Clarita]

I'm 100% a stress shopper. It's a problem. That's why I do not have access to our main funds (by choice, I do technically have access to our family's main funds but I choose to separate myself from that and operate otherwise). When these urges come I tell my husband I have a spending limit of $20 and anything above that I'm going to start telling him about it. Usually the act of having to tell a 2nd "real life" person about my spending helps me to think about the urges and curb them. Also if those expenditures have future implications then he is there to remind me. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

First of all, sending you hugs for whatever caused your stress and I hope it is over now.

 

I have all of my backpacking items sitting in the basement. I don't have any trips planned for this year since my dog is eating up most of my discretionary  income.  He was also supposed to be my hiking/backpacking/camping partner but that hasn't worked out so well. This is the first summer he is up to optimal weight, though, and I have a dream of taking him on trail. He eats canned food for most of his meals and for his meds and that will add a lot of weight to backpacking trips. 

Thank you. Thank you. All is better now. 
 

Hiking with a dog is just the best. I really hope he gets to do that some day. (I used to go on long walks in the woods with my chihuahua, until it became apparent that he had a progressive condition that caused weakening of his legs. He finally went all but lame. He would have made the bestest camping buddy.)
 

Just thought I’d mention… have you ever tried Forta Flora? It’s worth a try if your vet  would approve. Not to derail your thread…sorry…I’m sure you’ve tried novel proteins, etc., but if you haven’t tried FF, it’s something to consider. Just a thought. 

[Clarita]

1 hour ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

I wish I was a shopper. Up until March, when I was stressed, after eating the aforementioned chips and chocolate, I would walk, hike, bike, or play tennis. but none of that is working at the moment. I have no umph, no get up and go.

BTDT the retail therapy isn't going to help. I have a closet full of shoes, purses, and fancy dresses that didn't help me deal with anything. You feel guilty for buying things that you really didn't want (80% of the stuff I bought I didn't really want). The therapeutic part only lasts 5 seconds after you push buy or walk out of the store with that fancy tote.  The usual therapy with a therapist helps.  Also, having scheduled standing appointments with friends or at least someone who would call you if you didn't show up, but no expectation that you'd actually engage. In the moment it seems dumb but it helps you get out the door so to speak and plod on through the fog. After a while of plodding on, one day you'll be out of the fog.   

[Rosie_0801]

I don't. I put books on hold at the library. Then I can get a dopamine hit every time I check to see if anything has come in yet. Even if it hasn't, I still have a shiny looking list of books that will come to me eventually. And it didn't cost me a brass farthing!

[SHP]

13 hours ago, Spryte said:

This time of year, stress shopping means plants. Soooo many plants!

This. And I, stupidly, agreed to help out a local group and take things to a few nurseries. During the last push for the semester. While stressing about another project with a looming deadline. But sure, why not visit a bunch of nurseries? What is the worst that can happen? 

We all know what is going to happen. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I wish I could be a plant person. It would be a wonderful and healthy way to beautify my yard and house. I am no good with plants. No good at all. Plants come to my house to die. I need to thin hostas, Siberian irises, and a multitude of other perennials that are so overgrown they are no longer thriving but I find it boring and would rather be doing something else. 

DD found a 6yo Australian Shepherd female being fostered in her town. She is ,tiny (29#) partially deaf from mistreatment, and has glaucoma. She is calm (unlike most Aussies) and gets along well with other dogs. DD thinks this dog would be good for me and my pup, esp because my skills at caring for aging and ill dogs are being honed. There are also some purebred Husky pups and labrador pups at the same facility. They are looking for people to foster two pups at a time. Fostering might be good but I don't know if they will allow a foster who lives so far away from the facility.

 

At least I no longer want to go out and spend a lot of money. Whew, made it through with my financial goals intact. Thanks to all for helping me through this last two days.

Now, I might need someone to talk me down from getting a new dog. Although, adopting a dog with genuine need sits a bit better than bringing home a purebred which I am certain will go to a loving home soon. But a 6yo with daily meds, might not be the way to go. I have to find out more about canine glaucoma and decide if a 65# Belgian and a 29# Aussie will fit in the VW. There is no way my Belgian and two lab puppies will work with that car.

[Grace Hopper]

Fast food. I think it’s me looking for a dopamine hit.
 

But I sure could be tempted by a puppy!

After thinking a minute, I confess I have found myself wanting to book travel pretty strongly the last few months. Just not enough time and available dollars to actually commit to any trips right now - and perhaps because I might not come back? Definitely feeling the Where’d You Go Bernadette feelings lately. 

Edited April 26, 2023 by Grace Hopper

[OH_Homeschooler]

8 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

Fast food. I think it’s me looking for a dopamine hit.
 

But I sure could be tempted by a puppy!

After thinking a minute, I confess I have found myself wanting to book travel pretty strongly the last few months. Just not enough time and available dollars to actually commit to any trips right now - and perhaps because I might not come back? Definitely feeling the Where’d You Go Bernadette feelings lately. 

I had a very stressful morning and all I want is carbs, and not the healthy kind. 

[stephanier.1765]

When my fibromyalgia is bad, the stress from the pain makes me want carbs too. It's as if my body is telling my brain that comfort food will soothe the pain. You'd think after all these years my brain would have l learned how wrong that is.

[Grace Hopper]

On 4/25/2023 at 10:20 AM, KungFuPanda said:

I load my iPad with digital library books and put it in airplane mode so they can’t take them back before I’m ready. 🤣 I wanted to say that I don’t stress/impulse shop, but I might have a bit of a plant problem. 

What???!!! That’s quite the hack!

[Clarita]

3 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

DD found a 6yo Australian Shepherd female being fostered in her town. She is ,tiny (29#) partially deaf from mistreatment, and has glaucoma. She is calm (unlike most Aussies) and gets along well with other dogs. DD thinks this dog would be good for me and my pup, esp because my skills at caring for aging and ill dogs are being honed. There are also some purebred Husky pups and labrador pups at the same facility. They are looking for people to foster two pups at a time. Fostering might be good but I don't know if they will allow a foster who lives so far away from the facility.

It doesn't hurt to ask. 

[Kassia]

17 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I don't. I put books on hold at the library. Then I can get a dopamine hit every time I check to see if anything has come in yet. Even if it hasn't, I still have a shiny looking list of books that will come to me eventually. And it didn't cost me a brass farthing!

I do this too - I have 43 on hold right now and have had up to 50.

Another thing I do is buy lots of great deals at Amazon for subscribe and save.  This gives me time to really think about what I've *bought* and I usually cancel before the deadline.  

I totally relate to turning to food for stress relief, which always backfires because then I become so stressed about weight gain and my clothes not fitting.

[GoVanGogh]

Well I ended up going houseplant shopping in a total downpour today. I was drenched to the bone getting from car to houseplant greenhouse at back of nursery to inside to pay. But it was worth it. Stress plus more stress equals Taco Wednesday (because I missed Taco Tuesday as our fav taco spot was packed last night) and new houseplants. 

[duckabell]

So I often overbuy something I think will alleviate the stress. When we got a new puppy and I was anxious about training him I bought too many toys and treats as well as a training course. When we had mice, I overbought traps. So nothing fun, I just try to throw money at a problem in hopes of fixing it. 

[BlsdMama]

Um... I've recently located a house I love in town and had my daughter draw up comp. market analysis.  I feel this falls under stress shopping.

[SHP]

16 hours ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

I wish I could be a plant person. It would be a wonderful and healthy way to beautify my yard and house. I am no good with plants. No good at all. Plants come to my house to die. I need to thin hostas, Siberian irises, and a multitude of other perennials that are so overgrown they are no longer thriving but I find it boring and would rather be doing something else. 

 

If you post in a local garden group you will have people volunteering to dig and divide your plants. If you don't want just anyone contact your local Master Gardeners extension office and see if they are looking for plants for a spring sale. They will be more likely to know which plants to divide, how to do it without damage, and leave the garden in better shape than when they started. 

I unloaded a bunch of decorative grass last year this way.

[Emba]

On 4/25/2023 at 11:01 AM, regentrude said:

I go to Goodwill. It's amazing how a new shirt for $4.89 can lift my mood.
And blank notebooks.

This is me. I stress shop for clothing but I do it at goodwill so it’s not too expensive, and doesn’t create extra fast fashion waste.

 But last week was pretty bad and I bought myself a nice $200 (second hand) ukulele that I usually would have resisted.  I mean, teenagers. If everyone in this house is going to hate me I’m going to buy something I’ll have fun with, since running away from home isn’t an option. And I don’t buy things I actually can’t afford.

[prairiewindmomma]

I don’t stress shop, I stress eat. And, when I stress eat, I only want the really good stuff…usually a pastry from the local European or Korean bakeries or takeout from a very good restaurant. I live in a foodie town so I have lots of amazing options, which is great for me but not my budget.

[BakersDozen]

OK, don't laugh, but when I am stressed to the point that I actually need to shop (I do not like spending money), I buy socks and underwear for my dc. A lot of socks and underwear. Or, if it's cold weather, mittens and gloves. A lot of mittens and gloves. I won't buy anything for myself because that makes me feel guilty which then makes me angry and even more stressed. But if I buy stuff for my dc - stuff that is useful and I can justify - that is my stress-shopping.

Ask me how many pairs of socks I've bought in one sitting (I shop eBay or sales on sites like Gap).....oy.

[Guest]

I plan trips, or house projects. It scratches that itch of needing to do something and, in most cases, I do not spend money until I actually enact my plan. 

[Laura Corin]

I tend to buy clothes for whatever situation is stressing me.  Job situation at present:  interview clothes bought well before I'm called for any kind of interview.  I'm not a dressy person in general, so that's where my mind goes. 

Sometimes it doesn't lead to purchase: I started obsessing about what to wear to my mum's funeral whilst she was dying.  I ended up wearing a dressy sweater of hers and some trousers I already owned, but it gave me something to think about rather than the main issue.