Let’s discuss 50+ use of makeup and creating expectations

[Ginevra]

I want to see what people think about this. I normally wear makeup daily. Not a ton but enough that it looks different when I don’t. The only thing I don’t wear every day (that is generally considered part of the routine) is lipstick/lip liner. I don’t wear lipstick much at all because I don’t want to keep checking to make sure it’s right and then it gets wiped off when I eat lunch. 
 

So. I’ll be in a new office next month. I am considering making my usual daily “look” no makeup. This, my thinking goes, will normalize how I look without makeup so it will not have that “something’s missing” aspect if I don’t wear makeup. 
 

It truthfully is a little intimidating to go from forty-ish years of wearing makeup usually to not. But I also think it would be freeing to be like, “yo, this is my face; like it or not.” I can save the makeup for date night or weekends or whatever. 
 

Please share your thoughts. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

A lot of women in their 40’s and 50’s steer away from make up or at least use less. It can hang out in those fine lines and actually make you look older. I say go for it 😊

[marbel]

I've gone back and forth with makeup over the years, mostly leaning toward no makeup. I do like the more "finished" (polished?) look of primer and light BB cream to smooth out my skin tone - which tends toward red.  But still, mostly I go without. More and more I see women makeup free out in the world. 

[TechWife]

I think what you’re thinking of doing is just fine. Come up with your “bare minimum” and if it’s nothing, great! My bare minimum is mascara and lipstick or lip gloss. I choose mascara because I wear glasses and want my eyes to be a little defined and lip gloss or lipstick because my skin tone is uneven & is a little pink in places & something on my lips tends to balance that a bit. 

[Hilltopmom]

I don’t wear any (48) and am a teacher.

Lip gloss maybe if I’m going to a wedding.

 

[Pawz4me]

I never used much makeup after my kids were born. A lightweight foundation or tinted moisturizer/BB cream, mascara and tinted lip balm was it. Since the beginning of the pandemic I haven't worn any at all. Even for an evening wedding the most I could bring myself to wear was some tinted lip balm. I don't miss it at all. I don't think it ever actually enhanced my looks. It just made me feel dirty and rubbed off on stuff.

[mommyoffive]

I have worn makeup 2 times in my life.  Prom and my wedding.  I hate how it feels.  I suck at putting makeup on unless you want the clown look.  I am sure I would look better with it on.  It sure was easier to do that when I was in my 20s when you look great, but now I am realizing how much I look my age and I could use makeup to look younger.  If I am being fancy I put on some chapstick.  I am just not a girly girl and and never will be.

[Katy]

What if you switched to a minimal makeup look? A BB cream, mascara, and lip gloss? 

[lmrich]

Just wear sunscreen everyday!

I use a tinted  sunscreen so it really does a great job as a light foundation. 

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Katy said:

What if you switched to a minimal makeup look? A BB cream, mascara, and lip gloss? 

The thing is, it’s my eyes that make the difference. If I were making it minimal, it would probably be eye liner and mascara only. My eyes are rather small and deep set, so a lot of my makeup is meant to bring my eyes forward.
 

I hate lip gloss; just despise the feeling of it. Don’t wear lip color because of what I said already about it wearing off or wiping off on napkins or masks. 

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, lmrich said:

Just wear sunscreen everyday!

I use a tinted  sunscreen so it really does a great job as a light foundation. 

Yes, I do that always. 

[Katy]

The other thing I’ve been considering is that ridiculously expensive new makeup line from Bobbi Brown. It’s basically a bunch of tinted balms that are supposed to look like no-makeup makeup. Jones Road is the name of the brand. 

[Katy]

My current routine is: 

-moisturizer

- Australian Gold’s mineral sunblock SPF 50 BB cream in light/fair

- Charlotte Tilbury Eyes to Mesmerize cream shadow in Oyster Pearl

-Thrive Causemetics black eyeliner tightlined on upper eye only (at some point I’ll need an eyelift to see going by family history, but for now I’ve got very small lower lids). 

-A tubing mascara that I don’t remember the name of

-A bronzer, right now it’s a Charlotte Tilbury one I don’t love. My favorite is probably Nars Laguna

- A blonde brow pencil from Anastasia Beverly Hills. It’s not brow wiz though, it’s a weird teardrop shape. 

-A chapatick combined with a clear drugstore gloss, I think maybelline. Or this drugstore lipstick called Vinyl from Maybelline that stays ALL day without drying out your lips. 

[easypeasy]

If *you* are weary of wearing makeup every day and want to discontinue the practice, then that is exactly what you should do! You are free to change your mind at any time, but the decision should be steered from your own, personal preferences and what/where/how you want to spend your own time!

I wear makeup every day - a full face of it (lightly applied, though). But, without it, I practically glow in the dark, have invisible eyelashes and eyebrows, and sort of look like a faceless person from far off and that really bothers me. 😁 So, for *me* and my personal choices, even at 50+ years old, *I* feel better wearing it every day to accentuate my facial features and make them more visible. If I ever feel differently, I will discontinue the practice based on my own preferences and confidences at that time. 🙂

Women feeling required to wear makeup to feel either/both beautiful or professional is an antiquated practice that, happily, seems to be nearing its end. I would say that most women I see out in the world are makeup free on a daily basis. One of my daughters goes 100% makeup free except when she feels like putting on a whole faced, "artsy" makeup look. The other wears minimal makeup every single day. And, you know what? They're both right. 🥰

@Katy I've also wondered about trying the Bobbi Brown balms!! I wish they were in a store so I could at least see the colors in person before trying.

Edited April 13, 2023 by easypeasy

[Ottakee]

I have only worn makeup 1 time in the past 10* years…..my daughters wedding.  I am not good at putting in make up and don’t have anyone to impress so I don’t.

[Katy]

3 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

 

🥰@Katy I've also wondered about trying the Bobbi Brown balms!! I wish they were in a store so I could at least see the colors in person before trying.

Right? I’ll probably eventually order anyway because a review said returns were easy. I’m always a sucker for the polished without trying too hard look. 

[MEmama]

I prefer wearing a bit of subtle makeup, but it's nbd if I don't. Still, I almost always wear some even if I'm not leaving the house. I doubt many people would notice one way or the other; I use it because I like it. 

I use NYX (?) eyeliner in dark brown, Glossier mascara and a dark brown Glossier liquid powder shadow on lids. Oooh and Glossier Boy Brow is my new fave for fading eyebrows, it really makes a big difference. I wear either a Glossier Generation G lipstick (Fuzz is my current favorite color on me) or Burt's pomegranate lip balm. Nothing on my skin except cream/sun lotion right now because I'm still masking in public so there's no point, but I like the balm by Glossier and Thrive pressed powder to even things out. 

[easypeasy]

5 minutes ago, Katy said:

Right? I’ll probably eventually order anyway because a review said returns were easy. I’m always a sucker for the polished without trying too hard look. 

if you ever do, report back! I've considered the same. I mean, I order Victoria Beckham makeup sight-unseen, so I don't know why I resist with this stuff! lol

[Carol in Cal.]

This sounds like a great time to stop.  Go for it!

[Katy]

1 minute ago, easypeasy said:

if you ever do, report back! I've considered the same. I mean, I order Victoria Beckham makeup sight-unseen, so I don't know why I resist with this stuff! lol

I know why. It’s because unlike other pricey makeup, it seems like you can’t just order one thing. It seems like you need a full face of products, which will exceed $300 for what appears to be very pretty colors of tinted vaseline.  It’s both ridiculous and appealing. 

[-----]

I haven't worn makeup since high school except for one brief stint in my 20's.  Too expensive, too time-consuming, too slimy in the Deep South (hate that feeling of sweat running down my face over makeup) ...  

But if you've always worn it and feel more confident when you're wearing it, then I think I might go ahead and wear something just for work.  You can always do without when you're not at work.  IOW, I guess I would approach it more as 'what would I like to get out of this job and would makeup help me get that' kind of thing.

Good luck.  🙂

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

If *you* are weary of wearing makeup every day and want to discontinue the practice, then that is exactly what you should do! You are free to change your mind at any time, but the decision should be steered from your own, personal preferences and what/where/how you want to spend your own time!

I wear makeup every day - a full face of it (lightly applied, though). But, without it, I practically glow in the dark, have invisible eyelashes and eyebrows, and sort of look like a faceless person from far off and that really bothers me. 😁 So, for *me* and my personal choices, even at 50+ years old, *I* feel better wearing it every day to accentuate my facial features and make them more visible. If I ever feel differently, I will discontinue the practice based on my own preferences and confidences at that time. 🙂

Women feeling required to wear makeup to feel either/both beautiful or professional is an antiquated practice that, happily, seems to be nearing its end. I would say that most women I see out in the world are makeup free on a daily basis. One of my daughters goes 100% makeup free except when she feels like putting on a whole faced, "artsy" makeup look. The other wears minimal makeup every single day. And, you know what? They're both right. 🥰

@Katy I've also wondered about trying the Bobbi Brown balms!! I wish they were in a store so I could at least see the colors in person before trying.

I think it’s the bolded. I don’t think the No-makeup-makeup is the right thing for me. Because if I’m spending the money/time anyway, why bother to make it look like “no-makeup”? 
 

It’s honestly more of a feeling about rebelling against the aim of expectation, that in order to look “put together”, this *has* to mean makeup. 52-year-old men do not invest time and money every morning into making their skin tone more even, eyes stand out better, lashes longer… nobody says they have to do stuff to their faces in order to be polished and professional. 
 

I think I just no longer feel that need to look good for other people looking *at* me. ***
 

***Please note: no judgment here for whatever way anyone else wears makeup/doesn’t wear makeup and how much time and money they invest. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I think it depends on how make-up makes you feel, as opposed to how it makes you look to others.

Does it make you feel brighter, perkier, more confident? 

Or is it a routine that doesn't actually do anything positive for you?

The only make-up I use is a lick of mascara on my upper-outer lashes. I don't think it makes me look younger or prettier, but it does make me feel brighter, for want of a better word. 

[fraidycat]

I'm not sure if you care to hear the opinion of someone who has never, ever been a daily make-up wearer, or not, but I say go for it!

I have no moral/ethical judgement about the use of make-up products. My one and only reason was and still is that I am as lazy as one can be. I only put effort into my hair and face for special occasions, which drove my mother and sister nuts. 😂

[rebcoola]

Sounds like you want to be done so be done. 

[MEmama]

1 minute ago, Quill said:

I think I just no longer feel that need to look good for other people looking *at* me. ***
 

***Please note: no judgment here for whatever way anyone else wears makeup/doesn’t wear makeup and how much time and money they invest. 

Yes! This is the way. Do whatever feels good FOR YOU, not for anyone else! Makeup, clothes, dyeing our hair, worrying (or not) about our RBF...who cares. Feel good for YOU, whatever and however that means or comes about.

Personally, at 50 I'm loving my purple hair and my **brand new tattoo** (soon to be plural, this weekend!). Lol. Do you, @Quill, for you. 🙂 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Yes! This is the way. Do whatever feels good FOR YOU, not for anyone else! Makeup, clothes, dyeing our hair, worrying (or not) about our RBF...who cares. Feel good for YOU, whatever and however that means or comes about.

Personally, at 50 I'm loving my purple hair and my **brand new tattoo** (soon to be plural, this weekend!). Lol. Do you, @Quill, for you. 🙂 

Here’s what’s funny: I just realized I’m wearing right now a tee shirt with a cat on it that says, “I do what I want.” 😄

Honestly, I just wanna be that cat. 

[elegantlion]

I'm 55 and pre-covid, I wouldn't go out with makeup. My routine has always been minimal though, blush, eyeshadow, undereye concealer (I have naturally dark circles), and sometimes eye liner. More often than not now I go without makeup. I also work at home and generally only have Zoom meeting with people I know. Fortunately, I have clear skin and an even complexion. I've also been doing gua sha on my face for about 3 years and it keeps my skin bright and clear. 

I would try it and see how you feel about it. 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, elegantlion said:

I'm 55 and pre-covid, I wouldn't go out with makeup. My routine has always been minimal though, blush, eyeshadow, undereye concealer (I have naturally dark circles), and sometimes eye liner. More often than not now I go without makeup. I also work at home and generally only have Zoom meeting with people I know. Fortunately, I have clear skin and an even complexion. I've also been doing gua sha on my face for about 3 years and it keeps my skin bright and clear. 

I would try it and see how you feel about it. 

Now to look this up…😄

[MEmama]

3 minutes ago, Quill said:

Here’s what’s funny: I just realized I’m wearing right now a tee shirt with a cat on it that says, “I do what I want.” 😄

Honestly, I just wanna be that cat. 

I'll admit freely that I need that shirt. 🤣

[athena1277]

1 hour ago, mommyoffive said:

I have worn makeup 2 times in my life.  Prom and my wedding.  I hate how it feels.  I suck at putting makeup on unless you want the clown look.  I am sure I would look better with it on.  It sure was easier to do that when I was in my 20s when you look great, but now I am realizing how much I look my age and I could use makeup to look younger.  If I am being fancy I put on some chapstick.  I am just not a girly girl and and never will be.

You sound so much like me!  If I’m ever wearing makeup, know that I did not apply it. I always say I missed the makeup phase growing up.  I had no interest in makeup when my friends were starting to ear it.  By the time I had a little interest, they were all good at applying it, so I was too afraid to look like a clown.  
 

I wish I knew a little bit what I was doing now, since I don’t have youthful looks, but I don’t think that will happen because I’m still afraid to look ridiculous.

[Miss Tick]

12 minutes ago, Quill said:

Honestly, I just wanna be that cat. 

Well, this is possible, but you would have to head far in the other direction on the no makeup - makeup scale.

You would definitely make an impression at work.

 

[Guest]

On 4/13/2023 at 5:39 PM, Miss Tick said:

Well, this is possible, but you would have to head far in the other direction on the no makeup - makeup scale.

You would definitely make an impression at work.

 

In all the questions I was asked for my interview, curiously, I was never asked if I like to dress up as a cat. So I guess it’s still on the table! 🤷🏻‍♀️😄😹

Edited May 26, 2023 by Quill

[Murphy101]

I don’t care what women do.  My whole life wearing makeup has been tricky bc of skin sensitivity and finance issues. Why’s the good stuff so dang expensive?!  I think many older women stop wearing makeup bc it’s so hard to find good makeup for older skin.

I wear make up way more often post40 than I ever did pre40.  For lots of reasons. For one, I tend to view makeup as war paint. Wanna know how crappy life is for me? It’s wear makeup from foundation to eye liner ain’t taking no crap from anyone war paint level.

Most days it’s just foundation only bc my foundation doubles as SPF/medication/cover for various skin issues and lipstick. I’m never ever without lipstick bc I have chronic dry lips. FYI: I puffy heart love Maybeline Super Stay lipstick. It stays on all day with no transfer and without either making me feel like I have glue or chalk on my lips. Love it. Have about 8 of their colors.

As for what YOU should do? It’s your skin. Be comfortable in it. But use an SPF moisturizer please.

Edited April 13, 2023 by Murphy101

[Soror]

I say it's a great time to transition if that's what you want. Don't let anyone here or irl pressure you that you should do more OR less than you want to do.

[wathe]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

 

It’s honestly more of a feeling about rebelling against the aim of expectation, that in order to look “put together”, this *has* to mean makeup. 52-year-old men do not invest time and money every morning into making their skin tone more even, eyes stand out better, lashes longer… nobody says they have to do stuff to their faces in order to be polished and professional. 
 

I think I just no longer feel that need to look good for other people looking *at* me. ***
 

 

100%.

I am a professional who does not wear make-up.  I don't wear it because don't like it.  I also think it's important to normalize natural faces (un-made-up?  I'm having trouble finding the the right word) for women in professional environments as an equity issue.  I have the same feelings about fillers and elective cosmetic surgery -- it may make individual women feel great, but the normalization of the practice is bad for women collectively.

 

Edited to make clear I mean elective cosmetic surgery -- the kind women get to look younger; not  reconstructive surgery

Edited April 13, 2023 by wathe

[SKL]

Go for it.  I'm 56, always worked, never used makeup, never will.  I also have natural white and brown hair.  I look my age.  Why not normalize looking like what we are?

FWIW I am an attorney/CPA and used to work in one of the big famous accounting firms.  Still didn't wear makeup.  If anyone found that weird, that was their problem.

[wintermom]

I'm also in the "never wear make-up" camp. I did use some make-up in my youth (middle school), but stopped when swim team practices were in the morning before school There's no way of applying make-up in a steamy change room, so why bother.

Then I went on a trip to Norway to visit my sister while she was an exchange student. I noticed that none of the younger or older females wore make-up, and they all looked beautiful. That sealed the deal - all natural for me. I ended up moving to Norway for 4 years, which cemented the decision.

[SKL]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

It’s honestly more of a feeling about rebelling against the aim of expectation, that in order to look “put together”, this *has* to mean makeup. 52-year-old men do not invest time and money every morning into making their skin tone more even, eyes stand out better, lashes longer… nobody says they have to do stuff to their faces in order to be polished and professional. 
 

I think I just no longer feel that need to look good for other people looking *at* me. ***

You never had to do this.  It was always your choice and always will be.

[footballmom]

@Katy and @easypeasy I have one of the Miracle Balms, and shockingly, it’s not a miracle 😂 I went with bronze and it’s probably that I just chose too subtle of a shade for me. 
 

Quill, I’ll join the chorus of do what feels right for you. For me, I’ve started wearing more make up, not less, because with video calls, I feel like I am not as washed out. My minimal routine is Thrive eye brightener in two shades blended together, Thrive eye liner and mascara and a Chanel lip stick that has more of a sheer and non sticky shine to it. It takes less than 5 minutes and for me, is a self care win when some days I barely leave my desk during work hours.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, SKL said:

You never had to do this.  It was always your choice and always will be.

Yes, you’re right. The belief that I did, though, was instilled in me from early on. Growing up, there was always a lot of discussion about women who had “let themselves go” and who “could look better if they would just make an effort.” I definitely internalized this belief. 
 

My mom still talks about makeup, even now, even though she is in extremely poor condition. It’s absurd. I guess I just don’t want to buy what was sold to me (literally!) anymore. 

[Melissa in Australia]

I wear eye liner on lower lid and mascara. I have very heavy hoods and felt that the eye liner makes my eyes more visable. I started wearing the mascara to keep my top eyelashes curled out, otherwise the hoods sort of turn them down into my eyes. 

I started wearing lipstick only towards the end of last year. Because twin 1 was trying to insult me by yelling abusively that I was ugly fat lips. The only way to handle that I thought was wear bright lipstick and give him a big smacker kiss every time. It has worked. 

[marbel]

32 minutes ago, Quill said:

Yes, you’re right. The belief that I did, though, was instilled in me from early on. Growing up, there was always a lot of discussion about women who had “let themselves go” and who “could look better if they would just make an effort.” I definitely internalized this belief. 
 

My mom still talks about makeup, even now, even though she is in extremely poor condition. It’s absurd. I guess I just don’t want to buy what was sold to me (literally!) anymore. 

I'm a good bit older than you, but I internalized those cultural expectations too. Funny though, they did not come from my mother, who didn't really wear makeup. She did wear bright red lipstick when going out, but that's all I remember. Probably she wore foundation, maybe, but I don't recall eye makeup at all. 

I think of people "letting themselves go" differently now. It has nothing to do with makeup or even much to do with appearance really. To me it's more staying healthy and active. When I think of someone "letting themselves go" I visualize people who make no effort to stay active physically or mentally. I don't picture someone who is not wearing makeup, hasn't got a the latest trendy haircut, etc. 

Edited April 13, 2023 by marbel

[-----]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

Yes, you’re right. The belief that I did, though, was instilled in me from early on. Growing up, there was always a lot of discussion about women who had “let themselves go” and who “could look better if they would just make an effort.” I definitely internalized this belief. 
 

My mom still talks about makeup, even now, even though she is in extremely poor condition. It’s absurd. I guess I just don’t want to buy what was sold to me (literally!) anymore. 

One of my dd's worked in nursing homes for several years.  She said the older ladies always wanted her to help them put their makeup on and do their hair before visitors arrived.  I said, 'but WHY??'.  She said they wanted to look nice, so they didn't upset the people who came to see them.  Even dying, it still mattered to them how they looked.  I don't wear makeup, but I can sorta understand that.  

[Guest]

1 minute ago, kathyl said:

One of my dd's worked in nursing homes for several years.  She said the older ladies always wanted her to help them put their makeup on and do their hair before visitors arrived.  I said, 'but WHY??'.  She said they wanted to look nice, so they didn't upset the people who came to see them.  Even dying, it still mattered to them how they looked.  I don't wear makeup, but I can sorta understand that.  

Yes, that’s what I’m witnessing. I think it’s a sad commentary on expectations of women, though. (Expectations they internalized, even though most likely nobody visiting them now gives the slightest care whether they have long eyelashes or not.) 

[Bambam]

5 hours ago, lmrich said:

Just wear sunscreen everyday!

I use a tinted  sunscreen so it really does a great job as a light foundation. 

This is what I do. Quick, easy, and I don't have to worry about sunscreen - at least on my face - for the rest of the day. 
But I have never worn make-up as a regular thing at all. Chapstick. That's it. 

[Melissa Louise]

Tinted moisturizer, tinted lip balm, that's it for me at work.

I'm not really a make up person though. The only difference between my work look and my going out look is that I swap the lip balm for lipstick (soft pink day, brighter at night) and some mascara sometimes if I can be bothered.

The little bit I use, I use for me, because I prefer some color, but also because as I age, I become very aware of pervasive ageism.

I think whatever you choose to do will be OK.

 

[Melissa in Australia]

5 minutes ago, Quill said:

Yes, that’s what I’m witnessing. I think it’s a sad commentary on expectations of women, though. (Expectations they internalized, even though most likely nobody visiting them now gives the slightest care whether they have long eyelashes or not.) 

Not sad so much as that generation valued getting ready for recievibg visitors or going out, they can no longer get dressed up except for the makeup. It is extremely important for their inner self to get ready for visitors 

[Tap]

I only wear make up for other people, not myself. I don't see myself. LOL I will wear it for a special occasion, especially if pictures are being taken. Otherwise, I really don't want to....so I don't. I think makeup is kind of an odd thing. I know I am in the minority and absolutely don't judge anyone else on wearing it. I was a teen girl of the 80s, wore heavy makeup then faded to natural in my 20-30s, then nothing in my 40s and beyond. My kids mostly know me with no make up, so when I put make up on my daughter for prom, she was shocked at my abilities  🤣I told her growing up in the 80s, I definitely knew how to wield a makeup brush!!! 

My BF has always had wives/girl friends who were into hair/nails/makeup. It makes me a bit self conscious, thinking that he probably wishes I was more interested in 'presenting' myself, but I told him when we started dating "my face, is my face....and I am ok with that" LOL . He is getting used to it **I think** lol, but if nothing else, he sticks around....so he must not mind too much 🙂  He has commented in it being nice that I don't get makeup on everything.....so there is that benefit 

[wathe]

4 hours ago, SKL said:

You never had to do this.  It was always your choice and always will be.

I think it depends on the industry, actually.  In hospitality and certain business roles, makeup is an expectation.   There is also the "grooming gap"  - women who are made-up make more money and are more likely to be promoted than women who don't.  There is quite a lot of literature on the topic.