OH_Homeschooler Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 2 hours ago, ktgrok said: book plus gift from registry, or just book? I've seen book showers, but not ones that request a book AND another gift. Can confirm, I just received an invite to a baby shower requesting the book instead of a card, plus their registry info. Nothing about a raffle though. I'm not going to the shower so I just sent a giftcard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 Every shower I have been to in the last four or five years has had the book and diaper and gift thing. The book and diaper thing are seen as optional. I have never done all three things at the same shower. Showers are much more elaborate than they were when I had my first. Back then it was cake and punch a couple of lame games and every one was on their way in an hour and a half. The showers for my nieces have all had entire meals served buffet style, lots of games, fill out your own return envelope, piece of parenting advice written on quilt block, puzzle piece or wooden blocks. Each one has felt like Pinterest threw up all of their ideas into one shower. 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 I really like you guys and was excited to participate in the Christmas Card exchange so I bought boxes of cute cards for $1 each at the dollar store. No way would I buy a $5 card for anyone for any celebration. 5 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 (edited) It doesn’t seem that expensive to me as long as the registry is reasonable. Lunch out is pretty expensive these days. You could break even if it’s nice. Maybe you and your mom could go in on the gifts together? ETA. I had trouble finding some of my favorite childhood books for my own kids because they were out of print. One of my 25-year-old daughter’s favorite books is a gazillion dollars on Amazon because it’s no longer in print. This assignment might be harder than they think. Edited May 13, 2022 by KungFuPanda 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said: Their book request says it's great to give a used OR new book. I love this so much and hope it becomes a trend. I am comfortable giving used gifts to immediate family only right now, and maybe one or two close friends. I think most people expect new things as gifts. (Total random tangent: Did I find a vintage Playmobil zoo set, 98%-ish percent complete, at Goodwill for $10 and gift it to a Playmobil-loving family member for his birthday? YES I DID!!! I'm a little happy about that find. 🙂 ) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 2 hours ago, ktgrok said: book plus gift from registry, or just book? I've seen book showers, but not ones that request a book AND another gift. Book and gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted May 13, 2022 Author Share Posted May 13, 2022 2 hours ago, ktgrok said: What happens when they end up with 6 copies of Goodnight Moon, all signed with special notes? Also, books are not cheap! It says any book will do. I suppose I could get baby the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Agatha Christie, Harry Potter, etc. instead of a baby book. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 2 hours ago, ktgrok said: What happens when they end up with 6 copies of Goodnight Moon, all signed with special notes? Also, books are not cheap! I've never seen 6 copies of the same book show up at one of these showers. The most I saw was 2. And there were honestly books we had more than 1 copy of in our house so it would not be a tragedy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 A friend of mine received 5-6 copies of Goodnight Moon at her baby shower (he's 11 now - I can't remember exactly). I remember the stack of them. 😛 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany1116 Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 It is increasingly common but I find it annoying. I'd pick a reasonable registry gift, a book you like with an inscription, and skip the diapers. Or skip the book and take diapers. Registries are one thing; dictating multiple gifts from all guests is another. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 5 hours ago, Loowit said: After reading the expectations, I thought maybe I would ask my mom to just take a present from me with her to the shower, but she isn't wanting to go either. She feels like they are asking too much. Her current plan, which could change after she talked to my sister, is to just drop off a present with my cousins mom. ITA with your mother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 1 hour ago, saraha said: fill out your own return envelope, I get unreasonably annoyed by this. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 I am in the That’s Three Gifts club. If you want lotsa books, have a book shower. If you want lotsa diapers, have a diaper shower. If you want lotsa any-one-specific-sorta-thing, that’s the shower theme. Otherwise register for reasonably priced shower items, and be grateful to everyone who comes out for it or sends a baby gift. I know many people who opt out these days. OP, bring a gift that is needed by the new mom and that pleases you to bring. I still attend most baby showers I’m invited to, but I do not consider myself beholden to bring a Santa sack full of presents. If I really am close to you and want to provide a lot, I’ll do that quietly with a chunky gift card to the place you’re registered. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 Oh, as for writing in books, I think that’s a pain if they have duplicate copies that cannot be returned. I write a message on a bookplate (peel and stick sticker) and put that unattached along with the gift receipt on the inside cover. Also, as one who has suffered pregnancy loss, sometimes I’ll skip the bookplate at shower time but then mail a bit more personalized one in a card after the baby arrives (and maybe with a restaurant gift card). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ting Tang Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 1 hour ago, ktgrok said: I sometimes buy $5 cards, but only if I ran out of time and cant sort through to find good cheaper ones. And even then, I'm mumbling about the downfall of society under my breath when I do. That was like me and my $6.10 small latte yesterday. I made a post about it. It's not that I can't justify why they're charging what they do, but I have to take a stand. lol But cards have been really expensive for a long time, so if I need one, I usually go for the cheapies. Or these days, I put gifts in bags with tags, no cards. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany1116 Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 2 hours ago, vonfirmath said: I tend to get SAndra Boynton books, whether or not the invitation requests it. I do not buy a card -- for almost anything. I make my own cards. but I really appreciated getting sandra Boynton books when my son was little -- an author I'd never heard of. So I pass it along now. My go-to Boynton is The Going to Bed Book. I give every new mom one. 2 hours ago, Annie G said: I’ll be the lady standing in the dollar store card aisle with a big list- June brings four birthdays in our family and several graduations, plus Father’s Day. I’m not spending $5 on cards! Same. 1 hour ago, saraha said: Every shower I have been to in the last four or five years has had the book and diaper and gift thing. The book and diaper thing are seen as optional. I have never done all three things at the same shower. Showers are much more elaborate than they were when I had my first. Back then it was cake and punch a couple of lame games and every one was on their way in an hour and a half. The showers for my nieces have all had entire meals served buffet style, lots of games, fill out your own return envelope, piece of parenting advice written on quilt block, puzzle piece or wooden blocks. Each one has felt like Pinterest threw up all of their ideas into one shower. This annoys me just as much or more than gift dictates. I literally hate it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 Honestly - go to the thrift store - you will find brand new baby items. Baby books might be trickier but I have seen some in pristine condition - you can put them in the freezer to kill of stuff (or just buy new). Diapers - buy the smallest pack in a larger size or don't. I think you can buy a two pack of swim diapers... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 Just bring the book and diapers. Skip the registry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany1116 Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 Side note for one baby shower gift that people seem to love... Oxiclean stain gel. I usually do a registry item that I like, Boynton book, and Oxiclean. Something fun and something practical. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 I haven't been to a shower here recently, but local culture tends to be that all showers are clothes showers, lol! It's not that you won't get anything you register for, but everyone likes to give clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Even for second babies minus a shower, people will give you clothes. Even if your kids are both boys or both girls, you will get more clothes. Lol! Given how much babies vary in size, it worked out well on our end--very few things ended up not fitting at the right time or being inappropriate for the season. I say go and take a gift you can afford. It's more important to stay connected than to follow the directions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 4 hours ago, katilac said: Wow, this lady is not playing. Notice that guests are instructed to bring a book in the invitation, and it's explicitly called an extra gift (snipped for brevity: Everyone is instructed in the invitation to bring their favorite book from when they were a child. For a game, each person can show their favorite book, tell what it is about and why they loved it as a child. Then they can present the books to the mother as an extra gift for the baby. idk, and you know it has to happen! Totally agree that books are not cheap. I just bought 3 books for an upcoming baby. The bath book, the kind with plastic-pages that can get wet, was $6. Each of the regular board books were $7. Those aren't even books you can write in, anyway. Many of the sample invites I've seen seem to be implying a nice childhood book, not a board book. Wow, that shower required a show and tell presentation. Talk about adding pressure to what is supposed to be a fun event! Yuck! I’m one of those irritating people who actually enjoys public speaking, and even I would hesitate to go to a shower where I had to show my favorite children’s book, explain the plot, and tell everyone why I loved it as a child. And seriously, if there are a lot of guests, that’s going to be one long and boring afternoon for everyone. After a certain point (probably right around guest #2’s little presentation,) no one is going to care why anyone loved Goodnight Moon or any other book. They will all be too busy trying to think up excuses to leave early and go get lunch somewhere else. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 It's an invitation, not a summons. You don't have to go or send a gift. Since you haven't seen them in years, I would say it's pretty gift grabby. But, as far as is that common, yes, very common. The diaper raffle will allow a guest to win a prize. The book instead of a card is to pretty common. They would rather you spend the card money on a book instead. And the registry is so they get the items they would like for baby. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 You know, a lot of people love an excuse to buy totally impractical or fancy or cute baby outfit or toy or gadget. Telling them exactly what to bring takes the fun out of it for them. Other people like a registry or want to buy something they are sure will be used and needed. I wish everyone could just relax and let everyone gift the way they want to gift 🙂 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Brittany1116 said: My go-to Boynton is The Going to Bed Book. I give every new mom one. Same. This annoys me just as much or more than gift dictates. I literally hate it. I choose between Doggies Hippos Go Beserk Moo Baa LalaLa and Pajama Time All 4 were read so often here they were memorized and recited in the car travelling from place to place when we could not actually read them. But I can't get 4 books. So I go and see what I can find/what is on sale/etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 6 hours ago, Ting Tang said: That was like me and my $6.10 small latte yesterday. I made a post about it. It's not that I can't justify why they're charging what they do, but I have to take a stand. lol But cards have been really expensive for a long time, so if I need one, I usually go for the cheapies. Or these days, I put gifts in bags with tags, no cards. There’s one place I go where I get a $6 latte but they make it with a special oat milk for me. And I honestly think I’m paying not for the coffee but for rental of the comfy chair I can sit in and read for an hour while I sip. It’s not a daily habit (though I could imagine it so!). 5 hours ago, teachermom2834 said: You know, a lot of people love an excuse to buy totally impractical or fancy or cute baby outfit or toy or gadget. Telling them exactly what to bring takes the fun out of it for them. Other people like a registry or want to buy something they are sure will be used and needed. I wish everyone could just relax and let everyone gift the way they want to gift 🙂 I am old as Emily Post but I was taught that proper etiquette is not to even include on the invitation the place(s) a bride or mother-to-be is registered. You are supposed to list the names of the hostesses and should a guest have any questions or need a suggestion about what to give, they know who to contact. The hostess then shares place registered. I understand it’s more efficient to include it on the front end, but it’s old-school not proper. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 6 hours ago, kbutton said: I haven't been to a shower here recently, but local culture tends to be that all showers are clothes showers, lol! It's not that you won't get anything you register for, but everyone likes to give clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Even for second babies minus a shower, people will give you clothes. Even if your kids are both boys or both girls, you will get more clothes. I was given ToysRUs gift cards and the nearby supermarket gift cards for my second born. Here nobody seems to give clothes. I gave away a big bag full of hand me downs to a neighbor who has two girls and was expecting a boy and couldn’t afford to spend much. She asked if anyone is selling theirs at thrift store prices. Both my boys are built differently even as babies so my kids clothes were gently used and an assortment of sizes and thickness. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Book with a note probably doesn’t cost anymore than a fancy baby card. But a handmade card costs less. I guess you could make a handmade notebook? It’s a bit OTT to ask for nappies and a gift usually it’s one or the other. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 14 hours ago, saraha said: Each one has felt like Pinterest threw up all of their ideas into one shower. hahaha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 Forgot to say, I don’t buy $5 greeting cards unless that and the words I write in it are the only things I’m giving you. I don’t buy fancy cards to attach to presents - I make a little paper tag or write a to & from on the package (sharpie😁). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 9 hours ago, Grace Hopper said: There’s one place I go where I get a $6 latte but they make it with a special oat milk for me. And I honestly think I’m paying not for the coffee but for rental of the comfy chair I can sit in and read for an hour while I sip. It’s not a daily habit (though I could imagine it so!). I am old as Emily Post but I was taught that proper etiquette is not to even include on the invitation the place(s) a bride or mother-to-be is registered. You are supposed to list the names of the hostesses and should a guest have any questions or need a suggestion about what to give, they know who to contact. The hostess then shares place registered. I understand it’s more efficient to include it on the front end, but it’s old-school not proper. For a shower, it is expected to see the registry information on the invite. Has been even as far back as when my kiddos were born. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 18 hours ago, katilac said: Wow, this lady is not playing. Notice that guests are instructed to bring a book in the invitation, and it's explicitly called an extra gift (snipped for brevity: Everyone is instructed in the invitation to bring their favorite book from when they were a child. For a game, each person can show their favorite book, tell what it is about and why they loved it as a child. I'm pretty sure no one would want me to come, my very, very favorite children's book was "Old Black Witch." (Authors are Wende and Harry Devlin of the more famous Cranberry series of books and assorted other children's titles, including "How Fletcher was Hatched.") 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 The Emily Post Cult should've died out more than a century ago. She has never been a legitimate authority on anything. I'm 49 and never once, in the pile of baby shower and wedding invitations I've gotten in that time, has there not been registry info included on the invitation. It's considered rude to not include that information on the invitation. Playing an unnecessary game of telephone for that kind of relevant info isn't polite-it's pathological. Absolutely every single piece of information about the event (location, date, time, map, directions, instructions, registry, RSVP phone/text/website info ) has always been included on the invitation. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 7 hours ago, Grace Hopper said: I make a little paper tag or write a to & from on the package (sharpie😁). Same. Cards are ridiculously expensive and most end up in the trash anyway. I have a huge box of old blank cards that I use for people who actually want cards (my MIL, for example). I just write something simple in it and *personalize* it by writing Mom on the front of the card. Good enough. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 On 5/13/2022 at 2:56 PM, Loowit said: It says any book will do. I suppose I could get baby the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Agatha Christie, Harry Potter, etc. instead of a baby book. Or The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home by Susan Wise Bauer! While I haven't given that, I have given Jim Trelease's Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and Baby Blues: This is Going to be Tougher Than We Thought by Rick Kirkman Regards, Kareni 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 14, 2022 Share Posted May 14, 2022 1 hour ago, HS Mom in NC said: The Emily Post Cult should've died out more than a century ago. She has never been a legitimate authority on anything. I'm 49 and never once, in the pile of baby shower and wedding invitations I've gotten in that time, has there not been registry info included on the invitation. It's considered rude to not include that information on the invitation. Playing an unnecessary game of telephone for that kind of relevant info isn't polite-it's pathological. Absolutely every single piece of information about the event (location, date, time, map, directions, instructions, registry, RSVP phone/text/website info ) has always been included on the invitation. Interesting. I have maybe only seen registry info in a wedding invite a couple times. I would expect it in a shower invite. A shower is traditionally thrown by someone else to SHOWER you with gifts, that makes sense. I do consider registry info in a wedding invite rude. I don't mind if they have a "for more info go to webpage" and have it linked there. Maybe that is a regional thing because especially for local weddings, I have not really seen it. To me making everything a deep gift grab from almost strangers is kind of pathological but hey I'm wacky like that. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, Kareni said: Or The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home by Susan Wise Bauer! While I haven't given that, I have given Jim Trelease's Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and Baby Blues: This is Going to be Tougher Than We Thought by Rick Kirkman Regards, Kareni Or this one, which I may or may not have sent as a Mother’s Day gift to my oldest friend: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/there-are-moms-way-worse-than-you-glenn-boozan/1139774469 Probably not the book they were hoping for, but my old bestie thought it was hilarious. Edited May 15, 2022 by Spryte 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 13 hours ago, vonfirmath said: For a shower, it is expected to see the registry information on the invite. Has been even as far back as when my kiddos were born. 6 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said: The Emily Post Cult should've died out more than a century ago. She has never been a legitimate authority on anything. I'm 49 and never once, in the pile of baby shower and wedding invitations I've gotten in that time, has there not been registry info included on the invitation. It's considered rude to not include that information on the invitation. Playing an unnecessary game of telephone for that kind of relevant info isn't polite-it's pathological. Absolutely every single piece of information about the event (location, date, time, map, directions, instructions, registry, RSVP phone/text/website info ) has always been included on the invitation. Y’all, I said I am *old* 😂 But, seriously, it is still considered bad taste to print registry information on a wedding invite. The proper way to do it is with an enclosure (separate small card) either giving registry info or directing to a website that has full event information (which I personally consider OTT but like I said, I’m old). For showers, I don’t personally have a problem with registry info, I was just sharing what I was taught. I don’t mind a statement like, “the nursery colors are grey and light blue.” But to get any more specific than that about what gifts you are requiring guests to bring… poor taste for sure. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 2 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said: Y’all, I said I am *old* 😂 But, seriously, it is still considered bad taste to print registry information on a wedding invite. The proper way to do it is with an enclosure (separate small card) either giving registry info or directing to a website that has full event information (which I personally consider OTT but like I said, I’m old). For showers, I don’t personally have a problem with registry info, I was just sharing what I was taught. I don’t mind a statement like, “the nursery colors are grey and light blue.” But to get any more specific than that about what gifts you are requiring guests to bring… poor taste for sure. Well, yes, it's bad taste to include registry information on the wedding invitation *and* as an enclosure. Those of you whippersnappers who didn't learn that, now you have. On a shower invitation, certainly include registry info, although honest to goodness, really and truly, it isn't necessary to register at multiple places and put everything in the store on the list. But anyway, shower invitation, yes; wedding invitation, heck no. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 (edited) Most modern wedding planners would call including registry info on or with the invite rude. I just have seen that very infrequently to this day in my area. Take or leave it,I don’t care. But calling including it in a wedding invite pathological is a bit OTT. Lol. https://www.theknot.com/content/should-we-include-registry-on-invitations Edited May 15, 2022 by catz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Dove Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Ellie said: Well, yes, it's bad taste to include registry information on the wedding invitation *and* as an enclosure. Those of you whippersnappers who didn't learn that, now you have. On a shower invitation, certainly include registry info, although honest to goodness, really and truly, it isn't necessary to register at multiple places and put everything in the store on the list. But anyway, shower invitation, yes; wedding invitation, heck no. My guests told me they expected a registry and it would be rude not to have one (I don’t think we included it in the invites, though). As far as baby showers, most people don’t buy from the registry, so I don’t see the point in having one. People want to buy cute clothes and whatever strikes their fancy (because baby clothes are so fun to buy! ). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 7 hours ago, Grace Hopper said: Y’all, I said I am *old* 😂 But, seriously, it is still considered bad taste to print registry information on a wedding invite. The proper way to do it is with an enclosure (separate small card) either giving registry info or directing to a website that has full event information (which I personally consider OTT but like I said, I’m old). For showers, I don’t personally have a problem with registry info, I was just sharing what I was taught. I don’t mind a statement like, “the nursery colors are grey and light blue.” But to get any more specific than that about what gifts you are requiring guests to bring… poor taste for sure. Rude on a wedding invitation, not rude on a shower invitation- because gifts are not rewatch a wedding but Are at a shower. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 I love the book idea. The last card I bought was 8.99 at check out (I was in an hurry and just grabbed and then felt a panic attack after it scanned) and the last Dr Seuss book I bought was 7.99, so I love this idea. The diapers I don't get so much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 I’ve heard of book showers and diaper showers as well as the traditional shower. I’ve never seen more than one of them combined, though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 7 hours ago, Red Dove said: My guests told me they expected a registry and it would be rude not to have one (I don’t think we included it in the invites, though). As far as baby showers, most people don’t buy from the registry, so I don’t see the point in having one. People want to buy cute clothes and whatever strikes their fancy (because baby clothes are so fun to buy! ). Bless their hearts. They are also ignorant of good manners. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 On 5/13/2022 at 12:44 PM, Loowit said: His mom threw a baby shower for me when I was pregnant with my first. I agree with everyone that 3 things is a lot, and that it’s not reasonable to ask. But given this, and that it’s family, I’d go. If I needed to skip the diapers and bring a used book, or buy the smallest pack of diapers and a small gift (a single onesie or sippy cup or whatever), I would go to the baby shower for someone who threw mine. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 Three things is a lot. As someone who’s has often been the poorest in an HCOL, I need to say it is awkward to be put in these types of situations. The people around us have always outdone me with money spent on shower gifts.There really is no way we could have afforded a book and diapers and a gift. Maybe two of those. And because we are professional and well-educated, we come off looking cheap. I’m sure it’s even harder for those who have less money but see this type of invitation. I am in a position where because of dh’s job, I really need to go to showers. Please, if any of you are giving showers, don’t ever do this. Just because $20-30 is no big deal to you or your closest friends, be aware that it really is to some of the people around you. 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 16 minutes ago, freesia said: Three things is a lot. As someone who’s has often been the poorest in an HCOL, I need to say it is awkward to be put in these types of situations. The people around us have always outdone me with money spent on shower gifts.There really is no way we could have afforded a book and diapers and a gift. Maybe two of those. And because we are professional and well-educated, we come off looking cheap. I’m sure it’s even harder for those who have less money but see this type of invitation. I am in a position where because of dh’s job, I really need to go to showers. Please, if any of you are giving showers, don’t ever do this. Just because $20-30 is no big deal to you or your closest friends, be aware that it really is to some of the people around you. And it would be hard to do the three gifts for $30 without the third (non-book,non-diaper gift) looking uncomfortably cheap. I know someone suggested just bringing one sippy cup or one onesie but I cannot even imagine doing that. The recipient would be looking around confused for the rest of the gift 😞 It would be hard to get out of the three gift shower for $30 without a lot of creative shopping. (Cue all the posts of how people can get three great gifts for $30. Lol) $30 is more than what some people spend on their own kids’ birthday presents- believe it or not. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 40 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: And it would be hard to do the three gifts for $30 without the third (non-book,non-diaper gift) looking uncomfortably cheap. I know someone suggested just bringing one sippy cup or one onesie but I cannot even imagine doing that. The recipient would be looking around confused for the rest of the gift 😞 It would be hard to get out of the three gift shower for $30 without a lot of creative shopping. (Cue all the posts of how people can get three great gifts for $30. Lol) $30 is more than what some people spend on their own kids’ birthday presents- believe it or not. That’s our budget for our kid’s birthday, yes. Honestly, I have $15 to spend on a shower gift. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 3 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said: I agree with everyone that 3 things is a lot, and that it’s not reasonable to ask. But given this, and that it’s family, I’d go. If I needed to skip the diapers and bring a used book, or buy the smallest pack of diapers and a small gift (a single onesie or sippy cup or whatever), I would go to the baby shower for someone who threw mine. Yes, if possible, I'd go for this reason. 1 hour ago, freesia said: Three things is a lot. As someone who’s has often been the poorest in an HCOL, I need to say it is awkward to be put in these types of situations. The people around us have always outdone me with money spent on shower gifts.There really is no way we could have afforded a book and diapers and a gift. Maybe two of those. And because we are professional and well-educated, we come off looking cheap. I’m sure it’s even harder for those who have less money but see this type of invitation. I am in a position where because of dh’s job, I really need to go to showers. Please, if any of you are giving showers, don’t ever do this. Just because $20-30 is no big deal to you or your closest friends, be aware that it really is to some of the people around you. Yup. I know one of the sweetest gifts I got was a gift bag with some powder, shampoo, lotion, etc - all brands I recognized from the dollar store. So it was a $5 gift likely, but she put in the effort, and that meant a lot. (and yes, the dollar store does have books, so I guess I'd hit there for that part and hope I found something cute...but it means two trips instead of just one to wherever they are registered) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 And really, it would be easy enough to say, "bring a book OR a package of diapers for a chance at a special door prize". So it's optional, and one or the other. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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